Full Transcript for BONUS: The Shorts!

say the number. 00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:41.919 I even had something nice. 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:44.240 Room for growth is a blessing. 00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:46.240 There's a pause. 00:02:47.039 --> 00:02:48.560 Then the tears. 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:51.280 Loud tears. 00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:53.439 Heads turn. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:55.439 The Matre D rushes over. 00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:58.319 His gasp shakes the silverware. 00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:00.479 I slink under the table. 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:02.400 The restaurant clears. 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:04.319 The waiters gang up. 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:06.879 They're trying to find the Yankee. 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:12.400 And I sit there, a man just trying to help, hiding under the table. 00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:15.759 Sorry. 00:03:16.719 --> 00:03:21.599 Next time I come, I'll dine exclusively at Tesco. 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:25.439 While I was in the UK, I was there for eight days. 00:03:25.599 --> 00:03:33.280 I talked to five different people, you know, uh, a barista, a bartender, uh uh uh server at a restaurant. 00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:36.479 Um, I talked to them at the point of purchase about tipping. 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:39.599 I got, yeah, tipping's weird here. 00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:51.439 Uh the tip is already in there's a service fee, the tip is already in, there's a service fee, there's no way to tip, and there's no way to tip, and then I looked down at the console and it was showing me a way to tip, just like it does here. 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:56.400 And so uh in the end, like I just want to leave a couple of coins on the bar. 00:03:56.560 --> 00:04:06.400 I had 15 pounds worth of coins that I was desperate to leave on somebody's bar somewhere, and I couldn't because only one bar that I went to accepted cash, and the coins were looked at as debris. 00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:08.319 So it's still a mixed bag. 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:20.000 A couple articles about tipping being weird over there, and also the invasive tipping culture from the US, which I get, but also people in the US uh make lower hourly wages because they're going to get tips. 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:21.759 Anyway, somebody else's ballgame. 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:25.120 Short number two, follow your eyes. 00:04:28.160 --> 00:04:30.240 Follow your eyes. 00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:33.920 I couldn't disappoint her. 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:36.800 Nah, you don't want to see them anyway. 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:38.639 They're not the real royals. 00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:40.079 No, yeah. 00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:41.199 Character actors. 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:42.560 Yeah, even Wills. 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:44.319 Amazing gig, right? 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:51.040 Well, the real titles, they move around like a traveling trophy. 00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:53.279 Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:58.399 But based on exposure, the king is whoever gets the most eyeballs. 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:00.720 And ear I don't know, balls.

00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:01.920 Yeah, you get the idea. 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:04.319 Well, who do you think it is? 00:05:05.279 --> 00:05:05.600 No. 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:08.639 No, it's no, it's not the weasel. 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:09.439 Okay, no, no. 00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:14.959 Who's been staring back at you every single time you flipped on the television back in the room? 00:05:15.759 --> 00:05:17.279 Yes! Osman. 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:22.079 His name's Richard Osman, quizmaster and ruler of the realm. 00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:25.439 Lady, welcome to Osman Land. 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:26.959 She giggled. 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:29.759 She was happy, I was happy. 00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:36.240 Until he stared at me. 00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:38.480 Richard Osman. 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:45.120 The eyes, the glasses, they were everywhere. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:56.639 In tube adverts, shop windows, TV screens, and inserts in broadsheets in my pocket on billboards fifty feet high. 00:05:56.720 --> 00:05:58.560 He was around every corner. 00:05:58.879 --> 00:06:02.639 This really was Osman Land. 00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:06.480 She went into Waterstones. 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:08.160 I stopped on the sidewalk. 00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:11.920 A fleet of Richard Osmonds watched me from the window. 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:14.879 I love quizzes. 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:16.879 I fell to my knee. 00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:19.279 God save King Richard. 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:21.360 Long may you reign. 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:24.399 Just don't tell Charles. 00:06:34.639 --> 00:06:39.279 What's cute here is that there was no Richard Osman anything anywhere. 00:06:39.439 --> 00:06:41.680 I was there my second day there. 00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:53.360 Uh the second season of Celebrity Traders kicked off, which meant that this Ramesh Ranganathan and Ed Gamble are kind of, at this point, they're like Greek gods of the culture right now. 00:06:53.600 --> 00:07:02.160 And it was even more Ramesh because he was a contestant, and it was even more Ed Gamble because he hosted the podcast that came on as the post-game show. 00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:05.839 Um, and so uh still top heavy, still a lot. 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:15.279 I will say, uh, there was a profile of Ed Gamble in The Guardian uh this week, and it painted a very favorable portrait of him, and so I've kind of like laid down my sword on that one. 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.000 Like, oh, you seem sensible and hardworking. 00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:20.480 That's gonna win over Wisconsin Night every single time. 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:31.040 I did have FaceTime with Helen Thomas, who is the head of BBC Radio 2, and I did manage to slip it into the in there that my wife can't stand Romesh. 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:33.439 And she can't she can't stand the the shtick. 00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:36.720 Um, I should be clear, he's he can be a generous man, I'm sure that he is. 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:50.879 Uh, the shtick where he in his show, he's he goes with fake Braggadoccio, who's like, oh, you're here with Romesh Ranganathan, R squared, the double R, the, and then she doesn't stick around for the point where he says, Oh, that's my that's my first regret of regret of the show already. 00:07:51.040 --> 00:07:52.160 Um, so it happens. 00:07:52.319 --> 00:08:02.319 Anyway, big thing uh just to show like how much it's very interesting how they sub how they structure celebrity traders because they're like 20-some odd people involved. 00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:10.000 And so I think we're used to the survivor timing where it's like every episode we lose one, and so they could stretch it out for like an American-like 20-some odd episodes. 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:16.720 There's gonna be 10 episodes, they're in the middle of it right now, 10 episodes, and they just like the body count is through the roof. 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:27.600 Uh the they run an episode on Thursday night, and then a brand new episode on Friday night, so it's only five weeks, and you know, like you know, there's no modern common culture, right? 00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:30.240 The internet has shattered us, we're all an archipelago, right? 00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:35.759 It's very interesting because I think that they know that they're making a media event, and this is how they do it. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:40.399 And the day after the first episode, every headline and every paper was Richard E. 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:47.120 Grant's thing, which I'm not gonna say in case you watch it when it hits Peacock in the States, or if you haven't caught up overseas. 00:08:47.279 --> 00:08:51.039 Um, nobody talked about it uh in chit chat because everyone watched it. 00:08:51.120 --> 00:08:52.159 It's very interesting. 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:54.080 Anyway, that's that. 00:08:54.399 --> 00:08:56.960 Short number three, mind your language. 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:01.519 Mind your language. 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:04.000 There I stood. 00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:07.759 North London, a quiet park on an autumn morning. 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:11.120 A man on a bike clipped my sleeve as he soared by. 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:18.399 Then he brought it to a stop so that he could get off and scream into his phone. 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:24.159 He just got off his bike to get off his bike. 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:27.600 It's all literal. 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:33.279 But I've been I'm the guy who's all even when they don't understand. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:37.919 Oh god, I don't have an Uncle Bob. 00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:42.720 I can't no, no, I went to work. 00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:45.519 I found Mickey, took him somewhere. 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:51.360 I tasted chalk, I wrote with cheese, I gave a guy seven bells, then knocked him out of his hand. 00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:55.279 And I found a wise old man hiding in the back corner of his garden. 00:09:55.360 --> 00:10:00.480 And I made him sit down and teach me the length of a piece of string.

00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:05.440 And now I can say these things legally. 00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:13.279 Do you know how many novel expressions I heard while I was over there? 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:14.000 Zero. 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:15.360 Nothing new. 00:10:15.440 --> 00:10:20.080 Uh part because I'm up to snuff, but part because well, you know what part was? 00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:34.159 It seems every time I go there in the fall, there is a National Football League game that's been transplanted to uh Tottenham Hotspur Stadium or Wembley or something, and it was the the Washington Commanders played and lost to Fill in the Blank team here. 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:35.279 I don't remember who it was. 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:41.679 But like the town was like 30% Americans, and so uh it was just not it was what okay, stop. 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:42.720 This is not interesting. 00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:44.000 Okay, so language. 00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:45.519 It happens, it's everywhere. 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:47.440 Uh let's go to the next short. 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:49.600 It is called Relief Map. 00:10:53.840 --> 00:10:55.279 Relief Map. 00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:59.600 So it was all over the place yesterday. 00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:12.799 20p at Hyde Park, 40p at Camden, 80p in Westminster, but totally free at that new uh shopping thing, you know, the space station, uh coal drops, yard, yards, drops, yard? 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:13.919 Doesn't sound right. 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:19.200 Anyway, I thought I should hang out here if it's free, but places to go, right? 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:24.480 So it got on to nighttime on uh the Neon Place Carnival Street. 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:29.519 No, Carnaby, and I'm like, whoa, I spent five pounds on potties today. 00:11:29.759 --> 00:11:31.200 Then thunk. 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:38.399 A huge plastic turret of urinals dropped down right next to me. 00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:40.320 I did it. 00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:44.000 I won! Here's my trophy. 00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:47.360 So I'm going even bigger today. 00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:50.399 I found a place in Covent Garden. 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:52.399 A pound fifty. 00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:54.799 I tapped my card and went. 00:11:55.039 --> 00:11:59.440 Came out, got a tall glass of water, paid a pound fifty, did it again. 00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:02.799 And again, and again, and again my bank called. 00:12:02.879 --> 00:12:04.080 I kept going, it's great. 00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:06.159 What's today's prize gonna be? 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:10.960 Only, can I bug you for something? 00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:12.559 I'm out of money. 00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:15.440 And sweet lord, I gotta go. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:22.480 I can still confirm Cold Drop's Yard is a free bathroom. 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:23.440 And that's great. 00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:25.840 It's also wildly innovative, right? 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:32.320 The sign, it's one of those bathrooms where uh it's for men, it's for women, it's for tigers, it's for whoever, right? 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:40.639 And the sign outside had icons for these, and the men, like the torso was an M, and the women the torso was a W, and then they have one where the torso is an N. 00:12:40.799 --> 00:12:48.080 And when you walk in there, it's uh it's it's a it's a row full of uh full of doors, and they mark who can use which door. 00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:53.840 But you all come to the same sink to wash, you all walk out the same door, and it's like it's very interesting. 00:12:54.080 --> 00:12:58.480 It's also where you go if you have to go, because you don't have to tap to get in. 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:01.440 Anyway, um, apology. 00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:06.320 I committed to going to the pricey loo at Covent Garden. 00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:11.440 When I went to Covent Garden, I was short on sleep and I completely forgot it existed. 00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:16.240 As penance, I will go to the local bathroom here and I will leave a buck on the counter. 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:18.080 Apologies. 00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:22.639 Next short, weird one, pay it forward. 00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:28.639 Pay it forward. 00:13:29.759 --> 00:13:33.200 It sure used to be a church, but no one knocked it down. 00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:34.399 They kept using it. 00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:36.799 That's weird, but that's Oxford. 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:45.200 There could have been a hundred different companies in here since its days of the cloth, but I walked in and it screamed, church. 00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:49.120 The greeter at the front arranged a special dispensation. 00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:51.360 She recognized a lost soul. 00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:53.039 She led me in silence. 00:13:53.279 --> 00:13:57.600 Upstairs, downstairs, around a corner, to a secret room. 00:13:57.919 --> 00:14:01.919 A woman with special powers waited behind a screen. 00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:05.440 Yeah, it was plexiglass, but it was private. 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:07.840 I stepped into the sanctuary. 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:09.919 The door closed behind me. 00:14:10.240 --> 00:14:14.159 The face behind the screen beckoned me closer. 00:14:14.399 --> 00:14:18.240 I set the stack of old paper on the counter. 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:20.799 I slid it her away. 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:22.639 She slid back. 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:23.919 A stack of plastic. 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:25.200 Mostly tens and twenties. 00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:27.360 Street vendors don't like fifties, she said. 00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:28.879 I held a note up to the light. 00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:32.799 Queen on one side, Turner on the other, both clean as bed sheets. 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:34.480 This'll last forever. 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:37.360 I didn't really want to spend it, but now I could. 00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:38.399 Quick thinking. 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:40.639 I pulled out a wad of bills from home. 00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:42.879 Hey, can you do anything with

these? 00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:48.799 She cringed, then turned away. 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:50.720 I looked down. 00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:53.039 A mound of bills. 00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:54.480 Crumpled. 00:14:55.279 --> 00:14:56.159 Tattered. 00:14:57.039 --> 00:14:58.000 Dirty. 00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:04.240 Got any holy water? 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:11.279 It was a real issue getting anybody to take cash anywhere. 00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:19.679 Like, like, even there were places along Portobello Road, you know, out by Notting Hill with the big uh world's biggest flea market. 00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:25.200 Uh the the all the vendors there, like there were there were some among them where they just turned their nose up at cash. 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:27.519 It's a thing, I guess. 00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:29.360 I have nothing more to say about that. 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:30.639 Let's move on to the next one. 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:34.159 The next one is called Pick and Roll. 00:15:37.600 --> 00:15:39.360 Pick and roll. 00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:42.399 Yes, Mr. 00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:43.600 Commissioner, I have it here. 00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:46.720 In total, it has three conclusions about the elements you've borrowed. 00:15:47.360 --> 00:15:48.240 Football, sir. 00:15:48.399 --> 00:15:50.639 From football is how they say it over there. 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:54.000 First is about the NBA Cup, your new in-season tournament. 00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:59.759 They say the FA Cup, uh, sir, FA Football Association, their system of leagues. 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:05.840 Anyway, their in-season tournament isn't just the same teams playing themselves some more, it's bigger. 00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:10.960 Over 700 clubs striving to be giant killers, you know, Mackelsfield beating Crystal Pell. 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:15.440 Sir, with due respect, not like the Kings beating the Warriors. 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:17.600 That happened, sir, recently, too. 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:22.720 Moving on, the second conclusion is that the NBA mishandled relegation. 00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:26.720 When a football club gets relegated, they're football, sir, our soccer. 00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:28.399 Their relegation? 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:37.360 Well, sir, imagine the Kings, I guess, doing so poorly that they spend all next season in a sub-NBA league, trying to win it to get back. 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:46.879 And the winner of that league, uh, Albuquerque, say, comes up to take their place with all the television revenue and salary cap space and merchandise and a shot at the title. 00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:48.080 That's relegation. 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:52.399 It's far different from changing the odds for the draft lottery, sir. 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:55.200 And damned if you don't, Mr. 00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:55.679 Commissioner. 00:16:56.399 --> 00:17:05.359 Third is, well, across the FA, an anti-competitive gravity, their term, it draws star players to Manchester City and Arsenal. 00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:08.480 And the report accuses the NBA of the same dynamic. 00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:10.559 We did, sir. 00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:16.559 With the caps and the luxury taxes and the aprons, but there's the media, sir. 00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:17.200 Mm-hmm. 00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:18.160 Yes, sir. 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:25.200 Wall-to-wall screaming about why this star or that star hasn't left a small market team for the Knicks or the Lakers. 00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:25.839 Mm-hmm. 00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:27.359 Intensely real. 00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:28.559 Mm-hmm. 00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:29.839 Wisconsin, sir. 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:34.960 Yes, I would know, sir, and quite frankly, we lack the insulation the FA has. 00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:41.759 Over there, there are clubs in so many cities and towns, and there are so many titles and competitions to play for. 00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:44.640 Football fans always have hope. 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:48.079 Their club becomes part of their family in every household. 00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:52.400 Every person can't help but pay attention to every last pass and shot. 00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:55.680 No, sir, what I meant was. 00:17:57.519 --> 00:17:58.240 No, no, Mr. 00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:06.000 Commissioner, that's not launching NBA Europe is not Oh God, don't do that. 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:10.799 I'll get ready. 00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:13.119 The Americans are coming. 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:26.319 This is interesting because while I was overseas, EuroLeague officially rejected the National Basketball Association's merger offer to create what they were going to call uh NBA Europe. 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.960 And so it's like, all right, war it is. 00:18:29.119 --> 00:18:32.240 I guess that the NBA is just going to sort of take it by storm. 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:35.200 And so that is going to be an interesting development. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:40.880 I will also note that while I was there, did I see uh American baseball regalia? 00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:41.200 Yes. 00:18:41.359 --> 00:18:43.200 Did I see American football regalia? 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:43.599 Yes. 00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:45.519 Did I see American basketball regalia? 00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:49.680 Not a not a single, not even in the not even in like the windows of stores or like scanning. 00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:51.119 You want to buy a Dodgers hat? 00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:51.839 You're all set. 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:54.799 You want to buy anything of any basketball team there? 00:18:55.119 --> 00:19:04.319 I'm guessing Adam Silver will look at this as like pure uh unadulterated penetration is one of those base those business terms that sounds really filthy. 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:06.799 Um, but yeah, I guess that they're building from zero. 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:08.240 And so we'll see what that does. 00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:10.960 The next short is called flat white noise. 00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:12.240 This one's my favorite.

00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:17.119 Flat white noise. 00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:23.039 Filter espresso cafi latte maricano flat. 00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:24.880 No, yep, on to the next one. 00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:27.920 God, I know it's here somewhere. 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:29.200 No, something. 00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:30.160 I don't know what. 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:31.200 We'll find it. 00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:32.319 I whatever it is. 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:36.720 I mean, guys, this is the birthplace of the flat white, right? 00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:38.799 The home of the thousand dollar Kappa. 00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:41.839 Somewhere here, they have something other than the standard set. 00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:44.319 Oh hey! No, around the what is that? 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.079 No, it's a okay. 00:19:46.480 --> 00:19:52.880 Nero Costa Prat Prat Prat Jesus. 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:54.319 No, okay, other way. 00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:59.920 No, no, that's the street that had the fat white. 00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:01.599 Remember how hyped I got? 00:20:01.680 --> 00:20:03.599 Then I found the missing L on the ground? 00:20:03.759 --> 00:20:04.160 Yeah. 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:06.319 Oh, an indie. 00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:07.279 Uh, hang on. 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:08.160 Ooh, ooh. 00:20:08.640 --> 00:20:09.440 Careful. 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:12.240 Filter, espresso, ch-ch-ch. 00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:13.359 Okay, nope. 00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:17.039 What did I expect? 00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:18.640 I mean, this. 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:22.480 This is where jigsaw puzzles and cryptic crosswords were invented. 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:27.119 Oh, of course, a nation hooked on Taskmaster is gonna make it difficult. 00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:27.839 Wait a second. 00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:28.640 What's down there? 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:30.000 No, no, down there. 00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:33.200 No, no, the yellow awning. 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:34.880 It's uh what what is this? 00:20:35.119 --> 00:20:36.000 Colombian? 00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:37.359 Come on. 00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:39.119 There. 00:20:39.279 --> 00:20:40.720 On the chalkboard in the corner. 00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:42.240 Barra Oh, sorry. 00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:42.799 Sorry. 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:44.720 Barraquito? 00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:45.759 Is that? 00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:46.319 Oh. 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:51.279 Oh god, it was so worth it. 00:20:51.680 --> 00:20:52.240 No, no, no. 00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:53.039 Don't erase it. 00:20:53.440 --> 00:20:54.240 We won't tell. 00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:57.920 Just let us sit here and watch the next fellow. 00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:02.000 And can we have seconds? 00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:07.039 Alright, I went and got myself a barricito. 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:08.960 I feel like it's tradition now. 00:21:09.440 --> 00:21:11.200 It used to cost four pounds. 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:14.079 Now if you're gonna dine in, it's eight pounds fifty. 00:21:14.559 --> 00:21:20.319 You know, like back in America when Starbucks was starting to unroll, roll out, unroll. 00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:21.279 Oh sweet lord. 00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:26.799 When Starbucks was launching, uh the big bugaboo was who's gonna pay three dollars for a coffee, right? 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:33.519 Uh and now if you really want one, it it's hard to find a coffee drink and pay less than six dollars, right? 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:41.359 But eight pounds fifty, that's like 11, 12 based on like the exchange rate fluctuations for a non-alcoholic beverage. 00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:44.160 Like that's that's kind of insane, right? 00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:45.440 I paid it. 00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:46.559 It was delicious. 00:21:46.799 --> 00:21:50.000 It was the most expensive coffee drink I saw uh anywhere. 00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:54.480 And also, like, I mean, it was 10 bucks for a tap beer. 00:21:54.559 --> 00:21:55.839 It was 20 bucks for a mixed drink. 00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:57.680 Uh 10 bucks, did I say bucks? 00:21:57.839 --> 00:21:58.480 10 pounds. 00:21:58.640 --> 00:21:59.839 Oh, no, 10 bucks. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:00.960 I'm sorry. 00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:03.680 Exchange rate mail function in speaker's head. 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:04.640 Let's move on. 00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:11.920 The punchline there was I got most of my hooch from those little cans at MS because those were reasonably priced and reasonably portioned. 00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:17.519 Anyway, aside from the Barakido, you know, I hunted for the novel coffee drink. 00:22:17.599 --> 00:22:23.359 I I found an espresso tonic at the barista at the place in the Angel Outdoor Mall. 00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:25.039 I think it was called Saint Espresso. 00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:29.279 Um, it was kind of cute because it's like a glass dome with huge wings above it. 00:22:29.359 --> 00:22:33.599 This is uh at the the south end of Islington Main Street, just to the west. 00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:34.960 I'd happily go there again. 00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:37.279 It was really like a nice little area. 00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:46.480 I walk in there and there's like a 15-degree jump in temperature because the sun is coming down through this greenhouse to uh irradiate the barista. 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:51.759 And there were a couple like crabby women who had to get their coffees and they're like they need this steaming hot coffee in this day when it was 75 degrees. 00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:52.400 Whatever, that's fine. 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:54.240 I go up there and I was like, Are you okay? 00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.960 And at first she thought, surviving the old ladies. 00:22:57.119 --> 00:22:58.960 She's like, Yeah, they come in here all the time, they're always crabby. 00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:00.400 And I was like, No, no, are you okay? 00:23:00.559 --> 00:23:03.039 And she said, I actually have to stay hydrated. 00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:04.799 And so it was very interesting. 00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:07.680 Anyway, espresso tonic

was at the top of the tree. 00:23:07.839 --> 00:23:08.960 The game continues. 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:12.880 Um, I did find one single cold brew, and it was not an iced coffee. 00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:14.319 This is the distinction iced coffee. 00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:21.519 You make the coffee, you put it on ice, Bob's your uncle, cold brew, you let it steep cold overnight in a big tub full of grounds, right? 00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:24.559 I found one, it was at the Spittlefields market. 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:30.640 Uh, he confirmed it was actual cold brew, you know, the beans ground course and steeped in a big jug, not just the hot coffee. 00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:33.039 And I was like, yes, you know what a cold brew is. 00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:34.000 Let's do this thing. 00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:35.519 And he handed it to me. 00:23:35.680 --> 00:23:43.119 And like, I'm used to getting 16-ounce cold brews, 20-ounce cold brew on a dicey day, a 24-ounce cold brew, yes. 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:45.039 This thing fit in the palm of my hand. 00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:46.960 It was like six ounces, and it was mostly ice. 00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:48.880 And it's like, oh, you sweet thing. 00:23:49.279 --> 00:23:51.279 This is not gonna work where I come from. 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:55.119 Anyway, our last short is called Wait a second. 00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:03.440 Wait a second. 00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:07.680 Alright. 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:09.599 Draw another one. 00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:11.920 The joys of summer. 00:24:12.799 --> 00:24:14.480 The joys of God. 00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:16.160 Okay, sure, fine, sure. 00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:17.200 Okay, yeah. 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:18.720 Uh, should we go? 00:24:19.279 --> 00:24:20.319 Time is ready. 00:24:20.559 --> 00:24:21.599 Give me a countdown. 00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:24.960 Three, two, one. 00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:31.279 The joys of summer are indeed abundant and plentiful. 00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:33.200 Gifts from the heavens above. 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:40.319 I like to bask in the budding rays of sunshine on a burgeoning June morning and say, indeed, this is what? 00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:42.960 What was it this time? 00:24:43.279 --> 00:24:44.160 Repetition, boss. 00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:45.119 What indeed? 00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:46.960 Oh, Lord above. 00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:49.119 Were we anywhere close to a minute? 00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:50.319 12 seconds. 00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:51.279 We'll get there. 00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:54.720 How did they pull it off? 00:24:54.960 --> 00:25:03.279 What is it about Britz that makes them so friggin' capable of discourse without hesitation, repetition, or deviation? 00:25:03.519 --> 00:25:05.920 No, beyond basics of the game. 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:10.960 Bigger, smaller, rather cellular, genetic. 00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:14.160 They've been rewarding verbal dexterity for centuries. 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:19.359 And today, all the panel shows listen and respond, even to yourself. 00:25:19.519 --> 00:25:22.400 I mean, allow me to introduce just a minute. 00:25:22.720 --> 00:25:26.000 Responsibility for your contribution. 00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:27.839 It's flipping magical. 00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:36.480 Now, I am fully willing to accept that is a million miles from the American reflex, you know, under attack by advertising since birth. 00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:40.880 Gosh, my kids knew insurance jingles before they could count on their fingers. 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:50.000 And if I undid all the brainwashing, Jesus, there exists this whole other layer to the Grand Canyon between us. 00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:57.440 In the United Kingdom, Reparte is oxygen and gets protected by an ocean, sure. 00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:01.039 Plus, through state-sponsored programming. 00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:08.799 Giving space to rec on tours for the give and take, the time-honored environment of uh boss. 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:15.359 Okay, while I was there, okay, let me back up. 00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:18.000 I don't want this to sound like I'm a maniac just for this show. 00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:19.119 I love just a minute. 00:26:19.359 --> 00:26:19.920 I really do. 00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:25.839 But there are many panel shows, comedy shows, talk shows, commercial radio, BBC radio. 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:27.039 I'll listen to many of them. 00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:30.240 I the whole fleet of shows where it's like, Am I telling a lie? 00:26:30.319 --> 00:26:31.119 Those don't work for me. 00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:31.599 That's fine. 00:26:31.680 --> 00:26:34.079 They work for many people because they're they're everywhere. 00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:38.240 Um, I did get into a recording of uh what's it called? 00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:39.759 One person found this helpful. 00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:41.359 It's this really cool show. 00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:46.880 It's a half-hour panel show comedy hosted by Frank Skinner, uh, who's a very well-known comedian there. 00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:49.440 The whole thing is about online reviews. 00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:58.240 Um, and so some of it's like fill in the blank, like, oh, you know, they blank out what the actual product product was, and you have to figure out from context hues or what the movie is they were reviewing, things like that. 00:26:58.480 --> 00:27:00.079 It works amazingly well. 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:02.559 Um, and I got to see them tape two episodes of that. 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:06.480 Uh, one of the names that was there, Marcus Brigstock, is somebody who's well known there. 00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:08.960 Um, it was good to see him operate in person. 00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:10.799 He had a lot of hair, a lot of hair. 00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:12.079 Uh, maybe it's a fall thing. 00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:12.720 I don't know. 00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:25.359 But the other interesting thing about radio is that I talked to a guy who is the head of an independent production house at uh one-day conference

that I attended while I was out there in London. 00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:30.400 And he uh we were talking about just a minute, and he said, Well, just call them up. 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.519 Just find the producer and call them up and offer to be on. 00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:37.839 And it's like I I don't think you know what you just said. 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:40.799 And it's funny because I, you know, I took the time to explain. 00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:47.759 I worked in advertising here, and anything cool has like 15 shells of protective admin, right? 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:51.440 It's like you are lucky if you can talk to the guy's guy, right? 00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:58.960 And if the guy has a guy, has a guy who has a girl, has a guy who has a girl who has a guy who sometimes talks to uh fill in the blank celebrity. 00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:02.559 It's like it's just this like Gordian knot you're never gonna get through. 00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:07.599 I had this experience back when I sent uh a couple of letters over there. 00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:12.160 Um it's immaterial, um, about Downton Abbey. 00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:16.480 Um it was a big, big treasure show with my sisters, and so I was like, oh, you should know what it meant to her. 00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:18.880 Um, Hugh Bonneville wrote back, right? 00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:28.160 Hugh Bonneville, who I think is well known to many people here and everybody over in the UK, and the gist of his letter was yeah, you know, we all try not to take ourselves too seriously. 00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:31.519 It's just we're all we're all just earning money here. 00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:35.759 And it's like, wow, wow, what an earnest culture that is. 00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:38.880 I really enjoy that. 00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:44.400 And I in my mind it's mixed with me seriously misunderstanding what access looks like in this world. 00:28:44.720 --> 00:28:45.519 But it was a treat. 00:28:45.680 --> 00:28:47.680 It was a treat to talk to them, talk to everybody at the concert. 00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:51.519 That's that's where I was able to say, hey, my wife hates Ramesh, and I, you know. 00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:53.279 Sorry, Helen. 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:55.680 But that is the commentary. 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:57.279 Those are the shorts, they're all in one place. 00:28:57.440 --> 00:28:58.240 Thank you for bearing with. 00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:02.160 Um, I want to thank Mary again for giving her time. 00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:08.319 Um, I want to acknowledge that the game on the at the end of the eighth short completely fell apart in my hands. 00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:09.759 Just detonated. 00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:15.519 And she's the one, she just didn't realize she was just sticking a knife right to the heart of that thing. 00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:16.799 But it was glorious. 00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:18.720 Listening back to that, I really enjoyed it. 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:20.720 And I hope you enjoyed this time here. 00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:21.839 Uh, thanks for hanging with. 00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:26.559 I promise there will be no more super secret episodes here at the end of the British Affliction. 00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:28.319 But I appreciate the time you've given. 00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:31.519 Go off and have a nice day, wherever you are.