Full Transcript for 2107: Dickdash

you can hear us. The internet is acting. Let me think about this matter fact. Let me pause this, let me pause this boom. All right, guys, technical difficulties. Will work with it on the fly. But we think we figured out a system here. Yes, so, jess, we were. 00:03:05 Speaker 2: Talking about checking the temperature of the dicky. 00:03:10 Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, So here's the thing, right, I've been seeing these guys. Now this is impressive. I think. I mean, I'm gonna tell you, I'm going to brag about my monogamy with the with the street ruchens, with the hobo dick as what they've been called before. But uh uh three years three I've been, I've been, I've been, and I I told that. I told the guy, I told the young guy the other day. I said, oh man, it's been three years. Can you believe that you and crazy ass. I saw that either of them is crazy ass. You know, when I'm with the other, I go, oh, you know, crazy ass. And then take one talking about and he goes why like he was. He seemed authentically worried about my state of mind that I would have stayed in this position with these two men who two together don't make one real boyfriend. As I think I said before, I'll say it again, it just makes sense. 00:04:07 Speaker 1: They're like, uh, listen, I just think you need to get your life together. 00:04:11 Speaker 2: I'm not a three year Yeah, I'm like a one month guy. 00:04:15 Speaker 1: I'm here too. 00:04:17 Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta raise your standards. 00:04:18 Speaker 5: Okay, I'm terrible, exactly, like I wouldn't stay with me. 00:04:24 Speaker 1: Why they so they know about each other? 00:04:28 Speaker 2: Do they have they met or they Oh wow, are they cool? 00:04:33 Speaker 5: I mean they've definitely one has bummed a cigarette off the other one, and we've said hello in the streets, all of us wow at certain points. Yeah, it's I mean, you know, we're all grown up. I mean he might only be twenty five, but he's a grown up. And you know, I feel like there's a thing about kids who are kind of in the street. It's like they grew up pretty quick. 00:04:57 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. That is true. 00:05:00 Speaker 5: God said. 00:05:02 Speaker 1: I always say a street twenty five is like a suburb thirty five. You know, it is an aging Yeah, they've seen some shit. 00:05:10 Speaker 5: Yeah for sure, for sure. And the way that this fucker is making love to me is like, get out of here. I mean, oh my goodness, let me don't set out of here. I mean, come back, we're going, don't stop. 00:05:22 Speaker 1: That's the danger right now, is the quarantine is out here. I think a lot of people are feeling like they're getting randy. Okay, it's getting desperate times. People aren't even able to like go out the house and see people on the normal. And I feel like a lot of people are, you know, having those house calls being made. Man, you just got to hope that they're doing all the social distance stuff they're supposed to be doing on the regular. 00:05:49 Speaker 5: Yeah, you hope. I mean, I think he's been staying on the same couch for a couple of months. 00:05:53 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Well that's steady. 00:05:55 Speaker 5: Yes, as far as that goes. He doesn't go to a job or anything, so I have to worry about it. 00:06:00 Speaker 2: Being the perks of dating a hobosexual guys. 00:06:05 Speaker 5: Yes, but here's the thing. I mean, I love that you brought up that you thank you for listening to the Keith and the Girl Show because I had so much fun with them as well. You know, I love you guys so much. All y'all are just like, oh my god, the family feels I mean, not my real family, but you know this new family. I can't. Yeah, bless you progress. But we were we were chatting and they were saying, you know, don't you want like wait, what were they saying? They were asking me if I wanted something better, and I was like, I don't know, I don't, I don't, I don't know. You know, I don't know. 00:06:43 Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't know. You're happy with the status quo or you? Because I feel like that's the thing. There's always like this pressure on relationships to be progressing towards. 00:06:52 Speaker 2: Something all the time, but like what if you're just happy? 00:06:55 Speaker 1: Like I had a job once where you know how they do that thing every year is an evaluation and they're like, so like where you see yourself in five years or what do you want to be doing? And I was like, I like this, I just want to do this for however fucking long like this is my vibe is very positive right now, all this other shit you said sounds stressful, Like all this other stuff is responsibility, And I feel like, what about people in relationships like that where it's just like I'm cool with this, like. 00:07:21 Speaker 2: Ye, no responsibilities, I'm good with Yeah, yeah. 00:07:26 Speaker 5: Yeah, I just I don't know. I feel like I kind of feel like I don't know if anyone I'm gonna really age myself when I call out this woman, but I may West is my hero, and I don't know if anyone knows who she is. But the in the Olden Dies, you know, she was writing home plays and doing things she's getting arrested for doing. She was bringing out gay people and black people and even just putting people in her plays that everyone was like, what are you doing? And she only had lovers, like she only had lovers. She never got down with the idea that you have to have like one guy that was, you know, gonna take you away and save you from whatever. The fuck. I mean. I know that us gals now know that no guys days and no ladies, says the guys, but we try not to. 00:08:14 Speaker 1: Right, we haven't got that far yet. Okay, we're not that progressive, like you still got to open these doors and pay for these dates. 00:08:23 Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know we were We're very picky about what kind of chivalry we want as women you. 00:08:31 Speaker 2: Know has deserved. I mean at this point, I mean, it's kind of like if you

put up. 00:08:35 Speaker 1: With enough ship, I feel like you get to pick, you know, you get the cherry pick, like which parts of the of the chivalry and patriarchy you're in for. You know, like that's not fair to be like, all right, guys, listen, I know you've been oppressed for a few thousand, you know, few millennia. But we're all free now, Okay, everything's even, so start paying for half the dates. 00:08:55 Speaker 2: I feel like it's not fair. 00:08:57 Speaker 3: No, it's not particularly if you're not going to raise my pay or anything of that shit either. And I know you get paid sixty five cents on the dollar, but I'm gonna need you to go ahead and go in half on this rent. You know, I'm exactly and I joke about it, but everybody is affected by misogyny. And the thing is men created the system, and then men want to turn around and get upset of the system today created and and and it's one of those things where yes, I'm married, but I want the dope. And for me, you know what I'm saying, it's like, yeah, I'm married, but I want to be pampered and I want to be spoiled, you know, And but that's just me personally, right. 00:09:36 Speaker 5: Well, it's all it's always a personal choice with everything. I mean, I you know, uh, I talk about everything, and the guys that I fucking know that I'm gonna talk about everything. And as first they're concerned, you know, they're so hard to find, they're never gonna listen to it. Every found I'd be put on nicknames and all this shit. There's no one ever got a picture, real names or anything like that. But someone did try to get in ti me after that keeping the girl interview, and they were like a couple. They were casting you guys, uh and maybe you guys want to do it because they're looking for couples or anyone listening right now, they're looking for the real life couples under quarantine together. And they heard my story and I said, you mean my story about having sex with the guy with the mask on. That's not I'm not a couple. 00:10:23 Speaker 1: Yes, obviously a. 00:10:25 Speaker 5: Man just coming from the streets, like you know, and uh. 00:10:31 Speaker 2: That's more like that's more like a dig delivery, you know what I mean. It was like, you know what I mean? 00:10:38 Speaker 5: Yeah, Dash, I would pay for that, Yes. 00:10:44 Speaker 3: Yes, Amazon Dick two day delivery. 00:10:50 Speaker 5: The FedEx worker that delivered my new phone. I was like, what hello. 00:10:57 Speaker 1: The door, like it's been eighty three years. 00:11:03 Speaker 5: But this guy really wanted me to get the to get the masked boy, to get Landro and come and have an interview with them, you know, for the TV show. And I said to him, I can't. That's no, no, no, no, no, there's no. I'm not a couple. He's not my couple. And then I talked to Londro and I said to him, Hey, do you want to go? Because what I really wanted to say to the producer guy or the casting guy, or whoever the fuck this guy was, I really wanted to say to him, listen, man, these guys flake on me. Even if I'm offering them pussy, I don't think to bring them around. True, true, I promise you anything. 00:11:42 Speaker 1: Right, They're not consistent enough to get a check, and they're not you know, I don't know if we want to start making plans based on their tendance to things. What are you doing? What are you doing like creatively right now? Because I know, like with the lockdown and stuff, I feel like everyone, especially stay up and stuff and people that were doing like you know, like movies and TV shows. It's like, okay, now I have to be in my house. But we still had that creative bug inside of us. So what are you doing to still express yourself? 00:12:12 Speaker 5: Well, I'll tell you what. Thanks for asking for song and I I'm good to tell you guys how much I love you again? That was all okay by I. I feel really extra blessed because in December, I was in New York. I was flown to New York to do a part in the new Aaron Forkin' movie Wow and Yeah, and I worked opposite the guy from Secession, which I don't watch, but like I hear he's the real dick on the show. I guess the Sun's kind of skeechcare anyway, whatever his deal is. On my set that I was working with him at, he was motherfucking method actor. And let me tell you something not fun. What are these people doing? Quit it? Just say hi? 00:13:00 Speaker 2: It's like your assole purpose. 00:13:02 Speaker 1: Don't do that. That's so weird and it's a. 00:13:05 Speaker 5: Fucking weirdness thing, man, And I'm like, and I was such a sork and I go, hey, man, what's up? And he goes, oh, you know, you know, And it was like no one wanted to explain to me, and I had to yet though the hair guy you know, who was pissed off already, you know, hair makeup were pissed. It was the whole situation. But I feel very blessed that I was able to do some work creatively theatrically. I guess, let's say, before all this happened, and what it really made me do was push myself to do something that I was really scared about doing, which you guys are gonna be like, you were scared of doing this, which is pushing my show to do live. And I've been doing it live every week now. And I was so much Oh my goodness, I. 00:13:52 Speaker 2: See yeah, And I'm like, she's been doing live. 00:13:55 Speaker 3: I also, aren't you glad that you did your Your Life show prior to all this shutdown because you you invested and spent out in money and got it recorded. I was like, I bet you people who did it right before it things shut down. Was like, I'm so glad I did it. I'm so glad I recorded it and got it out there. 00:14:17 Speaker 5: You're so right, ka. I mean that's a great at a great point because I mean I take that ship for granted too, because I made back my money. I sold that show out. It was a huge hit. Like people are like, where's the tape, where's the tape? You know, it's it's it's a situation. So I'm like, oh my god, I have this lovely thing that I have. I also

am very lucky that I was able to submit a pilot, a comedy pilot that my god sister and I had written together, and she was it was something that she had approached me about. And I don't think if I ever told you guys my godfather played Squiggy on the Burge early, I don't know. 00:14:55 Speaker 1: That's crazy. 00:14:57 Speaker 2: Wow, that's a weird working world. 00:15:01 Speaker 5: I mean, listen, in the seventies, right before he got it right, I was born, and he was not the Hollywood actor that we all came to love on as the Hello. You know, he was more of, oh, you know, kind of liked a lot of acid and stuff, you know, the night that the night I was born. He was actually arrested because he was climbing a building because he thought he was Jesus. 00:15:29 Speaker 1: Wow, he's a. 00:15:31 Speaker 5: Jewish guy, you know. Anyway, so his little girl and I have become really good friends, and I'm really proud. I'm proud didn't know her. She's really good. Like she's kind of like a. 00:15:41 Speaker 7: Musical musical actress comedy. 00:15:43 Speaker 5: I know, I do her voice because she's a very small, petite little girl, like like I'm the perfect hello. You know, I don't know how to explain her, but she's very opposite of me. 00:15:57 Speaker 1: Amazing. 00:15:57 Speaker 2: I'm glad you haven't success stuff out there. 00:16:00 Speaker 1: You're looking great, Yes you are. You know, look man, meth head dick, it can change a lot. Okay, It's all I'm saying, like, you know, don't knock it till you tried it. 00:16:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't knock it till. 00:16:12 Speaker 5: You try it. I know the young and he really does keep me young. He keeps me, you know, the sex is it. I mean, I'm like crab walking. I mean, you know, like, oh my back. I don't want to tell him, you know that. But I'm very good about boundaries as well, which is interesting because that's kind of a new thing for me. So I'm like, like, he said to me, you know, I want to bring some moove over the next time, and I go what, And I was very insulted because okay, okay, it's justly moisture. So h so I go, why, there's nothing not happening here and he goes, noa to get into that booty, and I go, oh, yeah, that. 00:17:02 Speaker 1: Is a bit presumptuous. That is a bit presumptuous the way you. 00:17:05 Speaker 5: Play, right, what are some sort. 00:17:11 Speaker 3: Of just. 00:17:15 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe that is like young that's young people ship, because like maybe like a younger woman with less like boundaries or less affirmative or whatever would be like, oh, I guess if this is what you want, then I guess I'll give it a shot. But then like now you like, you know, so you're just like, no, I'm not I don't want to do that. 00:17:33 Speaker 2: I'm not like what you don't like ship like that? 00:17:36 Speaker 3: And the thing is the older you get, the less flexible you are. 00:17:40 Speaker 2: You know, and you're like, look before, okay, I mean you gotta do a whole stretch team. When you're young, you know, you. 00:17:48 Speaker 1: Just hop up in that you know, you know, it's like me and my friend Justin we played basketball, and like that became a running joke as we got older. 00:17:57 Speaker 2: It was like have you stretched yet? Because we noticed like if you don't stretch, that's the day that you're like, man, my hamstring is really tight. 00:18:03 Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. It's like, what happened is you didn't fucking stretch. 00:18:06 Speaker 3: You're old, yes, you, but like you are old because if you ask younger people. I was been joking about how whenever I hear like the lyrics of some of like the sex songs and the raps, it just sounds so painful, you know, And that's because I'm old that it's nothing wrong with what they're doing. 00:18:23 Speaker 2: It's nothing wrong with their suggestion. 00:18:25 Speaker 3: But I'm I'm I'm old, and I'm like, I got other shit to do. We can't funk all that. 00:18:29 Speaker 1: I think when you're young, it's like you're trying to prove something or whatever, because like that's when all the songs are like beat the pussy up, like. 00:18:36 Speaker 2: Fight Night and yeah, you know I'm gonna break a back and all this shit. 00:18:39 Speaker 1: And it's like that sounds good until you know how much insurance costs. 00:18:43 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? 00:18:43 Speaker 3: Right, that sounds good to you, Like I got to sit at my desk for eight hours and now my hip's out of place. 00:18:49 Speaker 1: Right. 00:18:50 Speaker 5: Oh see, okay, so I guess I should stop this then stopping on sence because I am I'm like, I'm on medicount now. So I just try to twork as hard as I can on his deck because he did requested the young yeah, younger man, the older guy older just appropriate, not older, just the age appropriate man. He was the pirate. I had to kick him out because he, uh, he sided with a crackhead in my building. 00:19:14 Speaker 1: See, you can't have you can't have. Yeah, you can't have the crackhead union popping up these days, like you can't have them messing stuff up like that. Oh go ahead of Jess, refreshing the chat real quick, but but just stay on the phone. 00:19:27 Speaker 2: We can still hear you. But yeah, you can't go. 00:19:30 Speaker 1: You can't have the uh, the meth heads and the crackheads forming some type of union because then like they're gonna make demands, they're gonna go on strike, Like you don't you don't want to deal with that. 00:19:42 Speaker 5: It's true, it's true. You can't. Don't mess with them. They have a lot of energy. They have a lot of energy, they have a lot of staying power. Uh, there are a lot of them outside of my house at this moment. 00:19:58 Speaker 1: So what did they what do you say with the crackhead on? What was the crackheads like, you know, platform. 00:20:05 Speaker 5: Oh oh, I'm sorry. He was throwing his furniture out of the apartment down four flights of wooden stairs that I

shared the wall with at four o'clock in the morning until seven o'clock in the morning. 00:20:19 Speaker 1: Holy. 00:20:20 Speaker 5: And then yeah, and then when the pirate went to open the door to look outside, what the fuck is happening? A lady from across the hall yells out, shut the fuck up, your crackheads. And then the man, the white man who's throwing his furniture down, says back to her, everybody smokes crack once in a. 00:20:39 Speaker 1: While, No, they don't true. 00:20:45 Speaker 2: I like that. 00:20:47 Speaker 1: He was watching like Marie Condo at four am on Netflix, and he just decided, like Jon, all this shit don't bring me joy. 00:20:54 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:20:54 Speaker 1: You know what brings me joy? 00:20:55 Speaker 2: Crack? Okay, So everything in his house is not crack. Gotta go. 00:21:02 Speaker 5: But it was it was a serious case of fucking another fucking case of white privilege. And again, I know I always rail on this ship. Well but look at me. Look at me. I look like a I look like the enemy. Okay, I can't stop it. I can't. It's a fucking drag. I hate it. I'm crossing, like, you know, putting blue on my hair, like someone cares like there's not a blue Nazi, you know, like a blue hair Nazi somewhere, I'm sure. But anyway, So I so the way I look, I have to talk extra fucking loud about the way I feel about ship. And I'm like, I'll die. I'll take a bullet. I've been saying this for years. Take a bullet for this revolution. I'm a race trader. Fuck you like, get very angry at people, and and and so I saw this man and I was like, ah, like white man, it was okay. So white man torn frencture down. Everyone in the fucking building is calling the management. The management has gotten up. The management is a Mexican, nice Mexican lady and her husband. And I always like, okay about please don't go throw let me low, you know, And they're so nice, you know, and he's like, what what's the matter with me? Like it's four in the morning, that's what the fuck is the matter with it? So the police finally come because the police don't really come to this neighborhood much. And the police finally come to my building and we're walking out and we walk by and the fucking guy is yelling at the police the way that he yelled at the manager furniture. And I walk by and go, fucking white man yelling at them. Do you guys see this white man yelling at them? And nothing's happening, Like I raised my fucking boy, and the pirates like, come on, come on, he's probably got weed on him or heroin on him or some ship. That's what. 00:22:51 Speaker 2: They might might catch out. I ask your questions, he jes, how is your your book going? 00:23:00 Speaker 3: Because you was watching you getting like your book and your material together. 00:23:04 Speaker 2: How was that process? Where are you edited process? 00:23:09 Speaker 5: Well, it's out in the ether, like getting read by places people a little. So that's exciting and actually what's really kind of exciting. And I don't know much about it except for I'm hoping that it happens. But there's someone maybe out there that wants to buy the audio. You know, of course I would do the audio for it, because I do my mom and all the characters that I grew up with and everything and the essays and everybody and uh and so my agent was always like, you're always going to do the voices anyway, So she's had me do some recordings and sending those as like part of I think the package of submission, which I think is so cool, Like I like that so much more than just my writing, because you know, I'm a tenth grade dropout. I'm a little I mean, not that I didn't want a fucking book, but I don't know, I'm very judgmental of my own shit, and i'd rather them hear me kind of go off, you know, in my own voice in other characters. 00:24:07 Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, I understand that. My friend BOSSI, she wrote a book and then she did the audio for the book as well. 00:24:15 Speaker 2: The audios outstanding. 00:24:16 Speaker 3: It's just something about just just hearing it in your own in that person's voice, because you can almost feel the emotions that you can feel them emote how it was meant to be. 00:24:29 Speaker 1: Heard because you read, you wrote it, and then like you said, you know, the voices and all the stuff your or at least your impression of the people like. And that's a big part of it, because you know, the listener doesn't necessarily know those things, and then someone else reading it they don't really know those things. So you know, I do feel you on that I would rather do it myself if I had a choice. But I feel like I'm always like that with everything, Like, if I have a choice, I'd rather do something creative myself then involve other people who may or may not get the vision, you. 00:24:59 Speaker 5: Know, hundred percent. I think that's why it's taken me so long, because I don't I don't just go with somebody who's like, oh, you know, like even with deaf comedy jam And I mean, I know, I was a kid and I literally just started out doing stand up comedy, but I knew as soon as they told me they wanted me to get braids and wear fuboo. And I was like, no, this isn't that's not true, Like I'm not being true to myself. Plus you know, I already had gotten braids when I was a kid, Like I already went and hung out in South Central and used to do braids and stuff in my hair, and I went through that stage of like, you know, I hated being white growing up. That was my thing. My mom hated white people and she looked just like me, So you know, I was really trying to mix it up a little bit, which is tough with the so uh, you know. But I knew by the time I was doing comedy that I couldn't not I couldn't not be true to myself because I wasn't getting lapsed by pandering to fucking people. 00:26:01 Speaker 1: And the thing is too, like, it's so weird those decisions at the time. I always feel like like they're one they're really big decisions, but they also

always kind of feel like everyone is pressuring you to do what everyone else is doing. Right, So it's like, am I tripping? And Mom the one who's being like, am I asshole? 00:26:19 Speaker 2: Because I won't put on the fuobu? 00:26:20 Speaker 1: But then it's weird because you look back ten twenty years later and it's like, oh, thank god, I didn't do that shit, you know what I mean, Like, especially now with the Internet with these motherfuckers like go find every thing you've ever done, you know what I mean. It's like the second that it's like, oh, the you know, the Jess Woods show is coming on, and then people are gonna be like, oh, did you know in ninety eight she came out o Jeff County Gym, she had corn rows and fooboo own. 00:26:46 Speaker 2: You know, so it's a good thing you didn't. 00:26:48 Speaker 5: Do it, you guys, you can already make fun of me. I'm wearing a one piece of pleather, drive my hair brown because they don't want anyone to know him from La or blonde. And I loved it. What a world. 00:27:06 Speaker 2: Dev County. 00:27:07 Speaker 1: It's so weird because dev County jam was just like a you had to be there type of thing, right. I don't think anyone now can understand it fully, Like if you just showed it to some kid now, they'd be like, what the hell is this? 00:27:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like even if. 00:27:18 Speaker 1: They laughed at it, they still don't understand the whole context of like how that was like so revolutionary and so different than others stand up, but how it's also like this time capsule and everybody had the same kind of routine for the most part. You know, the white people boys black people do this pick on a couple of people in the audience. You know, they always find like the one white person in the audience to be like, oh, how did he get in here? You know, Oh my god, I got some comedy, you know, they like all that ship was just part of it. And now people probably look at shit and they're like, oh, that's corny or whatever, but that shit was. 00:27:52 Speaker 2: It was the bob, it was the. 00:27:55 Speaker 5: Shit I did that so, like depth Jim set started And this is how they saw me. This is my first year of comedy in New York City. When they scouted me and saw me, I was coming on stage as a black man character. Oh my, like my voice, Like I'd be like, what's up? 00:28:16 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was starting up. 00:28:18 Speaker 5: I was starting it up like I was what what like I was. 00:28:24 Speaker 7: And and people are like looking at me in the audience like what in the fuck ISSI? And then I would just switch it on the dime and I'd be like, oh my god, you got it. 00:28:39 Speaker 5: I am fucking weird. It's that weird. Oh my god, you guys just have acpecting this right, this is right, right, this is right. And people just were like, what in the fuck is this bitch on? And I just was doing ship that I knew from uh my, you know, growing up, Like I just did a bunch of characters that I knew and girl

that I knew, and you know, funny bullshit like, uh, black girls fight like they dance. White girls fight like they dance. Like so like, oh my god, I'm calling my god he's a lawyer. 00:29:18 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny too, because like all that stuff is like a time capsule or whatever. But I think when people start out, you're, especially with stand up, you're just imitating the people you admire at first, right, Like it takes a while to develop your voice. So yeah, if you're if you're like into black comedy at that time, like you're gonna have that in your bag. 00:29:39 Speaker 2: So yeah. 00:29:40 Speaker 1: I just I feel like now more than ever, people are just so unfair about that kind of shit where it's like, let's bring up this one time. It's like, but that shit was nineteen ninety four, Like what the fuck? Like, aren't we like, aren't we over? I saw I didn't even talk about it on the show because I saw this thing trending for last week and I thought it was because everyone's in the house, we don't have shit to do. It was all of the old clips from Tyra Banks America's Next Top Model, where she was like, yeah, so she's like saying mean things to the contestants, and she's you know, like you you have a gap in your teeth, You're never gonna make it or stuff, and people are like, wow, you, I can't believe this trash was on TV. And I was like, I don't know how to explore express this. It really was just a different time. 00:30:28 Speaker 3: Like some of those same tactics I used today and some of them actually we call it dragging. 00:30:34 Speaker 2: What's the difference, Well, what. 00:30:35 Speaker 1: Happens is it's a production, so it's not actually like Tyra Banks wakes up in the morning and starts talking about people with gap teeth. There's a whole fucking like show behind it that is like, Yo, we need our host to be mean. You need to get out there. So what we're gonna do for our narrative of our show. We're gonna start the season you're mean to everybody, and then at the end of every episode you say something inspirational to something one person, and then at the end of the season it becomes you softened because you see how hard the people try. And then the audience goes to love tyer base because look at her. 00:31:09 Speaker 2: She fucking you know, she she grew hard this. 00:31:12 Speaker 1: Season, and then we're gonna do it fifty seven fucking seasons, like. 00:31:15 Speaker 2: Like she never like it's the same story every year. 00:31:19 Speaker 1: It's like Tyra so mean and then by the end, oh, Tyer's so sweet and now and it's funny because we take little clips from that. And then people were just like this right here, this moment right here is fat phobic. And I don't understand why it was on TV. I'm like, I don't know to tell you. It's nineteen ninet two and that's what the fuck people did, or it's two thousand and one, like that was that's how you sold that TV is a reason that was so watched and right show all that stuff, So it just feels like a weird time right now. 00:31:47 Speaker 5: Well what no one wants to talk about how exploitive and horrifying The Tiger Kings was. 00:31:51 Speaker 1: Oh man, who I mean? 00:31:54 Speaker 2: I was here for the jokes, but come on. 00:31:57 Speaker 5: I don't I didn't. I watched it, of course I had to be, you know, I watched it early on. I hate to say that I judged a book by its cover and saw the poster for it was like, what is this white trash nonsense. Let's I'm very into it at first, but then I thought to myself, this is weird. And then someone wrote me or sent me an article excuse me, that said that Tiger King was h porn poor poor people, porn for the rich, and I thought, ooh, that that kind of sucks up. Makes sense. Yeah, if they wanted me the honey Booboo time or like simple Life, remember when Simple Life happened and and those two fun mores went out on the road. 00:32:41 Speaker 1: But just weird. 00:32:42 Speaker 5: It's like we got shopping for a flavord or something, you know, it's like, what are you doing that's so hot? They like shower themselves that's hot, Like, oh my god, what is happening right now? And uh, I think it like goes back to that. Like I think I feel like we're rearing back to those days, you know, where we're getting off from people poor people again. Yeah, I feel like it's been rich people for ten years. 00:33:04 Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like I feel like when Jersey Shore started, it changed everything it did. 00:33:10 Speaker 2: They said the standard. 00:33:12 Speaker 3: Yeah, know, as much as people talk trash about them, they literally like everything else. 00:33:17 Speaker 2: Kind of mimicked. 00:33:18 Speaker 1: But that was like that was our like, they're not in on the joke. 00:33:23 Speaker 3: We are. 00:33:24 Speaker 1: Look at these fucking idiots, they're stupid, they're uh. And then I think that became like a thing. I think the thing Okay, So it's two things. 00:33:32 Speaker 2: One, we got to come. 00:33:34 Speaker 1: Up with a better word than porn for when something when people don't like something, because it makes it seem like porn is bad and I don't think it is, but people always do that, but they're like, oh, this is trauma, this is trauma porn, this is such and such porn. I was like, I like porn. Can we just chill on the calling everything bad porn? Like, come up with another word, matter of fact, lee pour off them. Let's just be like this is just trauma, you know. 00:33:57 Speaker 2: Anyway. Then the second thing is. 00:34:01 Speaker 1: It is funny because the Tiger King thing was definitely like some of the saddest, most fucked up shit. 00:34:08 Speaker 2: But I feel like that's. 00:34:10 Speaker 1: What we do now, you know, like we laugh at what the number one podcasts are normally like true crime. You know, my favorite TV show right now is for My Man, which is just a show, not jamn, just a show about black couples where one woman gets dragged down

by some ain't shit dude into a murder like every week and I watch it and it's really sad in real life, but in you know and not real life, I can just like laugh about it or whatever, but you know, and I feel like Tiger King was that where it's like, this is actually pretty sad. One of the dudes like commit suicide on camera. People go to prison. There may or may not be a husband who was murdered, and you know, everyone's just ducking it out. Yeah, she was the real Dawn. Okay, she did MVP. She was the real Tiger King. Okay, Tiger Queen is what it should have been called. The other motherfucker went to jail. Why are we even naming this after him? I like my criminals to get away. 00:35:11 Speaker 5: And then he got sick too. He's he doesn't have a lot of muscle mass on him. Yeah, because he's not well protected. Poor guy. Poor guy, he's got a very low immune system. You can look at him and tell that. 00:35:22 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that dude. But I'll tell you one thing though, if you're a young straight meth head, you got to watch out because that man, that man will get He will get you. Okay, he knows you like Tigers is over? 00:35:34 Speaker 2: Okay. I was also surprised by how. 00:35:37 Speaker 1: Much people were willing to fuck people for Tigers. I did not know. I would not have guessed that, but there were like so many young, impressionable people that were just like, oh, you have tigers, I would like to fuck you. 00:35:51 Speaker 2: I didn't know tigers make the panties drop. I don't roll in them circles crazy No me, me either. 00:35:57 Speaker 5: But it is a very I mean, I hate to call out my people, but once again we've just topped the bar. Look at those white people over there, what are they doing? 00:36:07 Speaker 3: Oh? 00:36:07 Speaker 5: God, are they taking. 00:36:10 Speaker 1: I was so happy that no black people were in it, like, like, you know, everyone's always like nowadays, everyone's always talking about diversity and inclusion and uh you know, like all that, not that those are bad things, but like shit like this, I'm like, no, no, no, no, we'll skip this on the I won't even count this against your Netflix, like whenever they do those tallies at the end of the year where they're like, were there any black people in your shows? This one we don't count against you. This is the white people shit you can have. 00:36:36 Speaker 5: I try to explain sometimes to white people that if if you went outside and had to have such high alert as if you were dealing with a tiger, right, but you were just leaving your home, yeah every day, you probably wouldn't want to come and deal with this whole bullshit. Yeah, mud romps or muddy boot camp, mut mut. I don't know what the these white people are doing, but everybody, I need to get the adrenaline dust, you know, oh yeah, police right. 00:37:13 Speaker 2: White people need like a natural predator. 00:37:16 Speaker 1: And then and then they were like balance so much ship out because I feel

like they do a lot of wild ship. That's like you know, I mean, look at the coronavirus protest, Like it's just white people going out right, I'm gonna get this coronavirus. You can't stop me. 00:37:29 Speaker 2: It's like it's like where does that come from? 00:37:32 Speaker 1: Like that that only happens if you don't have nothing to worry about, right, And. 00:37:36 Speaker 3: That's why they can do the most extreme ship, like try. 00:37:40 Speaker 2: To dive off the moon. You've been like, bitch, i'd you get up? Damn? Why is you diving off of it? 00:37:45 Speaker 3: Right? 00:37:46 Speaker 5: And screaming in the police faces. 00:37:52 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like sir, sir, right, So it must be nice it's very strange, like I feel like there can only be one, like Tom Cruise can only be a white man, Like like there can't be a black version of Tom Cruise because Tom Cruise always doing shit, like his own stunts and tying himself to planes, and now he wants to be in a movie where he literally goes to space, like not not in the movie with special effects, but like in real fucking life. He wants to take a rocket to space in his next movie. And I was like, that's only a white man could do that, because there's nothing else to scare him. 00:38:31 Speaker 2: Like Denzel's like, are you crazy? 00:38:33 Speaker 1: If I want a crazy day, I'll break my tail light and drive to the gas station. 00:38:40 Speaker 5: Exactly. Oh god, I'm gonna cry, yes, exactly. I hate this fucking world. So you know, uh, I try to speak about things, or you know, yell at people. Do a lot of yelling. I've yelled at a lot of people in comedy when everybody was still going, you know, to comedy stuff. I found myself yelling at young open micers and let me play something so good, so real. 00:39:05 Speaker 1: I felt like. 00:39:07 Speaker 5: Neil if I may, I felt like a little feeling because he's yell at us. He yell at us a lot. He'd say, Okay, well thanks for tooth. Sorry, but he was right, you know, he was right. But I I if there's a guy on stage, you know, like I uh, and he's going like man like this one guy was saying, man, black people hard. They're really like wow, just everything. They're getting everything right now, like everything, and I feel like shot right. Yeah, everyone was like, who the fuck is this protest? 00:39:43 Speaker 1: There's always that, there's always that that thing. Well, I guess now stand up's not happening as much as not happening, but there's always like this undercurrent of white stand up dudes who think anyone who's a white dude is the real oppressed person. What winter white man gonna finally get some opportunities in this business? 00:40:03 Speaker 3: It's forty five, y'all. All, y'all got the same goddamn jokes. Y'all are gonna be mediocre. 00:40:09 Speaker 1: If like one woman gets something, they're mad at her, If one black person gets something, they're mad at them, like it's such a weird thing because in their minds, what they're really saying is, I think every job in comedy is a white dude job. Right. 00:40:24 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, and that it should be told the story should be told by this, you know, half fucking handsome. Yeah exactly. I mean you know how many times I've been told, Right, my handle is get wood. Right, my handle on everything is get Wood. My show is called get Wood. I have stickers that say get wood. Everyone loves them, and last see this get it. Haha. You know it's the whole situation, right. You know how many men have told me to not use that. You're a nice girl. You're a nice lady. You should I'm a nice lady, you know me? 00:41:00 Speaker 1: Right? Might like do white dudes get to make like as unlimited dig jokes and shit? You know what I mean? Like they just like they can just be like, I'm gonna do a whole set of thirty minutes of just talking about my dick, and like knowing stops to them and go, you're a nice man. 00:41:16 Speaker 2: Why are you talking so much about your penis? 00:41:19 Speaker 1: This is so dirty? Right? 00:41:21 Speaker 3: But lord, don't say nothing about no vagina and titties. Everybody lows they goddamn mine. 00:41:27 Speaker 5: Oh forget it. I used to well, I was kicked out, you know, I was kicked out of a couple of clubs in New York City, which seems so insane to even say out loud, to say I was kicked out of clubs in New York City because the men who were running the room told me I was too vulgar, and they used the words vulgar. And I would like to tell you that I was a regular at this one club. Uh. And I followed a guy, white guy that told the joke about coming in his girlfriend's eye and that she had to wear a patch, so now he felt like he had to at a pirate. I, on the other hand, was getting up there and talking about how happy I was to masturbate on my clatorus, which I nicknamed the Dolphin. Could have just made sense. 00:42:13 Speaker 1: And I had. 00:42:14 Speaker 5: I had so many lovely responses. I had weight staff that would stop, you know, to watch my set. And it was a really great room for me. But the owner came right up to me, and he had been out of town and I was passed by a younger comic who was passing people for the room. And then the owner came back to town and he was like, no way, you're very vulga. You're very vulgar. And I was like, are you aware of the man that comes in his the woman's eyes for me, I don't ness you're aware of that. Guys. 00:42:44 Speaker 2: Guys, listen, you're vogar and you have a vagina, so. 00:42:49 Speaker 1: You're gonna need to just stay me and you have people don't want to hear that from a lady. 00:42:54 Speaker 2: All Right, you understand. 00:42:55 Speaker 1: We were actually just on a podcast yesterday, Black on White Cinema. We got to talk about the movie Girls Trip, which we got there like rewatching everything and do this review and recap of And the thing I kept thinking was like, I don't think I've ever seen a comedy like this with black women period, Like I

think, like it's been three years I think since that movie came out. Yeah, like one, we should have a sequel like the I think they may be working on it. But then too, like the other movies I could think of were like Bridesmaids, Like there weren't even a lot even even if you just say women in general, there weren't even a lot of those movies period. Like it's like, but but I can't, but there's so many men, male raunchy comedies. 00:43:43 Speaker 2: Let's go to Vegas. 00:43:46 Speaker 1: Party. Yes, you can't keep up with them. They're so fucking like ticks and titties and dicks, like you know everything, and then but but yeah, with women, it's it's very much like this weird patriarchy is like, look, we can let men talk about that, we just can't let a woman make the same jokes as if they don't go through life and have the same experience or different experiences, but the same humor to be able to be like, I want to make fun of this shit too. 00:44:16 Speaker 5: I'm so with you. Because them to go back to Bride'smaids. First of all, I really didn't like I really didn't like the movie. But what I really hated was when they were when they were advertising it, speaking of the patriarchy. All they told us was that it was the female hangover, right, the female hangover. It's the female hangover. It's the hangover. It's the hangover for the ladies. And I was excited. I was like, I fucking love the hangover. Let's go, let's get nasty, let's get fucking wild. And then I have to watch someone like, oh, they took a shot in their dress. 00:44:53 Speaker 1: You Hollywood, Yeah, that is that is funny that that's the way it was promoted because like like with Girls Trip, it was that's closer to me than to like a hangover type thing. But then they didn't get that kind of promotion because it was black, so they didn't want to be like it's a female hangover. It's like, no, it's like a black woman movie. It's with black girl magic and like this movie is about dix and fucking and peeing on people, like like like this joke, like it's funny, it's still good, but there's no parallel to compare it to really, so that was like such a weird thing. Well, I'm just glad you're doing good, Jess, and I'm glad that everything's going well with the show and going live and uh Instagram live and and you know using uh now using protection his mask, I guess during sex, but you I like the protection. 00:45:52 Speaker 5: Oh my god, there's a condom, there's a mask. There's like a fire in case anyone sweats or first I don't want any droplets from. 00:46:01 Speaker 2: The just light just lights solid face down real quick. 00:46:05 Speaker 5: Like yeah, well when he walks in the apartment, I just go this roabe and it's okay. It's like it's not just get bag. 00:46:16 Speaker 1: And what about the pirateman who sided with the crackhead, Like what's his deal? 00:46:20 Speaker 2: Y'all cool now? 00:46:21 Speaker 5: Or he's gone or no, no, no, he had to go. He had to go. I don't know,

I don't know. He had my heart. That was what was sucked up if he had my heart. So that one was harder. That one was harder. 00:46:33 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can imagine because like the you know, the dig dude, the young dude, I mean, that's obviously nice. You don't want to have to give up the d But the older dude who's there like all the time or whatever. 00:46:46 Speaker 2: I would imagine that's the person. 00:46:47 Speaker 1: You kind of get familiar with, even if they're not you know, perfect, like whatever flaws they have or whatever, that's those they're still kind of like your flaws, you know what I'm saying. So it's like, yeah, this motherfucker is stupid, but this motherfucker's around twenty three hours a day, and like that's harder to give up than you know, the dick appointment. 00:47:07 Speaker 5: It was, even though we did take mushrooms one time during quarantine, me and the pirate and he convinced me to use candles in the apartment as like you know, ambiance and I was like, I don't I don't want stick. He got stick camped. I was like, no sticks. Tea, yes a te tea way perfect, it's covered, it's safe. Ha. You know what's gonna come. As soon as the mushrooms start to come on. I'm like really high, and I'm on my bed and I'm like looking at the ceiling and there's only swirls and colors and things. And then all of a sudden there's like a pop of color of like white with like blue, and I turn around and my floors on tid. 00:47:51 Speaker 2: Oh oh no. 00:47:54 Speaker 5: When we're peeking in the in the beginning of the mushroom trip. Ah, and so thank god. Like a couple of people have asked me, or are you one of those trippers that's like, well, fire, it's a beautiful and I'm like, hell fucking no, fifteen put that ship out right. 00:48:10 Speaker 2: That's it right there, will wake you up out of a trip. 00:48:12 Speaker 1: Man. 00:48:13 Speaker 2: It was a waste of drugs. 00:48:15 Speaker 5: Yeah, we went back to it. We got back to it right away, like. 00:48:21 Speaker 2: Hey, burn my house down, broad what are you doing? Mess enough vine trip. 00:48:26 Speaker 5: That's like the total explanation of a bad trip. 00:48:30 Speaker 2: Karen doesn't like it. 00:48:31 Speaker 1: I have candles all around, and Karen does not like going to sleep with the candle and I don't use their candles. I only use the safe cond She don't give a fuck because. 00:48:40 Speaker 3: In my mind, like I can't explain it, man like, it's a mental thing. 00:48:45 Speaker 2: But in my mind, I always. 00:48:47 Speaker 3: Think it's gonna the container's gonna crack, something's gonna get bumped over. It's like one row move and they're saying, you know, I'm gonna come home and you everything's just gonna be on fire. 00:48:58 Speaker 2: It's a mental thing. I don't like it when. 00:49:00 Speaker 1: We're not I don't like them when we sleep, it's gonna be like some final destination ship in the house. I mean I just put them out obviously. I mean, you know,

who gets the fuck? I'm not gonna it's not like like I might. I like, in my mind, I want to come home to like a house that smells like pumpkin spice or something. But Karen is like, no, fuck that that's for when we get back, So we don't burn candles when we're not around. 00:49:25 Speaker 3: Like but like y you have burnt prunkin spice and fuck around and and get a. 00:49:30 Speaker 2: Hold of something or something bumping over. 00:49:33 Speaker 3: A blow or the containers in crack like, that's when my mind go, I'm good. 00:49:38 Speaker 5: Mmm, exactly exactly or put it in the sink. 00:49:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's. 00:49:44 Speaker 5: A good spot. 00:49:44 Speaker 3: Okay, you know, you know what, I can deal with that because at least I know it's like somewhere metal and it's water around it or something like that. But it's just something about it just sitting out in the open, and I'm afraid, you know, the more somebody gonna do something, it might shake a fall. 00:50:03 Speaker 2: It's a mental thing for me. 00:50:05 Speaker 1: Baby. 00:50:05 Speaker 2: All right, let's let's get into some news, guys. 00:50:07 Speaker 1: Okay, Now, lately, what we've been doing is we've been playing, Uh we have a coronavirus segment, and uh, I go to Spotify and I put coronavirus in the search, and whatever songs it brings up, I play one of these songs. Okay, So today's song is gonna be Tom McDonald and the name of the song is Coronavirus, and the name of the album is Coronavirus. 00:50:36 Speaker 2: Here's our coronavirus song. 00:50:46 Speaker 6: I don't know what to think about. This virus started in China. Know, everybody in America's heiding. 00:50:51 Speaker 5: There's no groceries because. 00:50:52 Speaker 1: People start to panicing by it. 00:50:53 Speaker 6: The shelter empty, the ones of plenty y'all making means think. 00:50:57 Speaker 2: You hear us? 00:50:59 Speaker 5: Hear us? Oh? 00:50:59 Speaker 2: Wait, what can jess? Oh that's right now. 00:51:02 Speaker 5: I couldn't hear the skype. 00:51:03 Speaker 2: You're not gonna be able to hear the song. I'm sorry. I'll let you know when it's over, though, I'm just gonna finish playing. 00:51:07 Speaker 1: It, and i'll let you know to the riots wait a month. 00:51:10 Speaker 6: So the only way to eat it is be violent. It's not the sickness that scary, it's all the people who wild in the government lying. They're trying to keep us coming through the simens. 00:51:17 Speaker 5: You know it's for real. 00:51:18 Speaker 6: And now the pharmaceutical giants don't have a cure that they can sell you. 00:51:21 Speaker 2: So no, everyone's dying. 00:51:22 Speaker 1: There's no vaccines or medication made. They can fight it. 00:51:24 Speaker 7: I guess it's time to pray to God. 00:51:26 Speaker 5: We can't rely on the science. 00:51:27 Speaker 6: And everyone around me and the maskts and gloves. The stock market crashed and the banks, but the bus tell us sanitize our hands. 00:51:33 Speaker 2: This will pass. 00:51:34 Speaker 6: It's a bug. 00:51:34 Speaker 2: Stay inside, you'll be fine. Till we're trappedor for months. 00:51:38 Speaker 6: It's a coast down and pistick yaller and they're closing all the stars down. 00:51:44 Speaker 2: We're headed for shells. 00:51:48 Speaker 1: It's all worn now. 00:51:49 Speaker 6: That lows Revan locket at our doors down. 00:51:54 Speaker 1: With sticking to yell you know what I feel like that is influenced by like eminem Yes, you know, I should have known someone was up when he didn't have a rap name. His name is Tom McDonald, so. 00:52:13 Speaker 2: It's like, it's my real name. 00:52:15 Speaker 1: That's like a dude that works in the county somewhere and he's like, and I also rapped on the weekends. And yeah, that was a very informative rap and very clinical, very well produced. So not my favorite of our coronavirus song my favorite, but not bad, not bad, And he did stick to talking about coronavirus, unlike some of the songs. 00:52:36 Speaker 2: So let's get into this news guys. 00:52:39 Speaker 1: Let's see, uh, in Florida, eighty three percent of the coronavirus deaths are people sixty five and older. 00:52:49 Speaker 2: Dude, that's a lot of old people go to batile. 00:52:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, so like that's that's definitely doesn't bote well for them because it's like that's where the old people at. And then uh, that's also Florida. Flora don't give a fuck about no coronavirus. They're just out there, like, go to the beach, have a good time. 00:53:06 Speaker 2: People. We don't give a fuck. 00:53:08 Speaker 1: So like I'm just like and then like a lot of the places where it's spreading out, like the older care facilities and stuff. So like, you know this this shit. Who knows what the numbers are in Florida for real? 00:53:19 Speaker 2: You know? 00:53:19 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think we ever would actually get the true numbers because I think a lot of people are actually dying for coronavirus and they actually are mislabeling it for something else or particularly prior to like the testing and all the stuff. So I think the numbers are actually bigger. 00:53:35 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't trust Florida anyway. Let's see never a strip club at Colorado Wyoming border reopens with strict cleaning, social distancing guidelines. All right, Exotic dancers are now getting back to work at the Gentlemen's club that straddles to co Colorado Wyoming border. Although some of the property is in Colorado, den is technically in Wyoming. When they reopened the restaurants and bars and wyhomy. We were super excited because it's been very difficult for us under Kim Schapez said, it's been horrible to go almost three months without any kind of income. 00:54:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's a cash business. 00:54:14 Speaker 1: Like a lot of people are like, well, strippers won't be hurt that bad because they got a lot of money. I was like, motherfucker, that's cash. Like they

can't even file for like unemployment and shit. 00:54:22 Speaker 2: You know they ain't been reporting all that shit. 00:54:23 Speaker 1: I wouldn't. 00:54:26 Speaker 5: How about the fact that the club straddles the border, but the women are not allowed to straddle anyone themselves. 00:54:33 Speaker 1: Interesting, Yeah, that's an interesting parallel there. Okay, Yeah, they gotta stay. I wonder how you do stripping from I mean, I guess there is no lap dancers. 00:54:48 Speaker 3: I guess, like and depend on the states. Some states you can't do that anyway. 00:54:53 Speaker 1: Everyone has to wear a mask, probably I'm sure, including the strippers. And some of the strippers was like, this shit is hard, Okay, Like I have to wear eight inch stilettos and with a mask, I can't see my fucking feet. Like She's like, we're on eight inch heels and Obviously, a mask sometimes messes with your vision, Like I need to be able to see where my feet are going in eight inch hells, it could be. 00:55:13 Speaker 3: Deadly, that's true, guessing my allow them to go out there barefooted. 00:55:19 Speaker 2: I mean, if they want to. Here's what's fucked up. 00:55:21 Speaker 1: They're not requiring customers to wear a mask, but they are providing masks to anyone who wants one. Who are these people? Like, do you care about the strippers or not? Okay, wear the fucking mask. It's really not asking much of you. Okay, you wanna get your dig hard watching some naked women, the least you can do is come. 00:55:40 Speaker 2: On the fucking mask, Like what the fuck? 00:55:42 Speaker 3: Like? 00:55:42 Speaker 1: People get so mad about that mask shit, Like that's the only reason I'm making mandatory because some assholes gonna be like, I'm a fucking freedom while I'll never wear a mask. 00:55:51 Speaker 2: I rather die this shit. 00:55:52 Speaker 1: And they're like, Okay, just don't wear a mask, like six six twelve feet away instead, ridiculous. 00:56:00 Speaker 5: I think it's a selling point if you tell these perverts that they can actually mouse, breathe and move their tongues up and down on their lips like they really want to. While watching these women might be a selling point. 00:56:13 Speaker 1: Also, like I would wear a mask if I was going because like what if you like the preacher, Now it's finally his time to shine. You know what I'm saying. It's like, oh, no, I get to wear this mask and come inside. Nobody knows who I am. But really I'm here to protect y'all. You know, that's why I got a full face mask. Okay, only my oles is what people can see. 00:56:32 Speaker 3: And you know, people probably gonna come in here since they got a couple of faces. 00:56:35 Speaker 1: Yeah, government officials, you know what I mean, anybody that got an id something to lose. 00:56:40 Speaker 2: Now's your time, your time to shine. 00:56:46 Speaker 5: Throw those ones. 00:56:47 Speaker 1: Yeah, mask up and go fucking uh you know, watch some women get naked. So yeah, oh this is gonna I hope everyone's sitting down because it's shockingness. The US lockdown protest may have spread the virus widely according to cell phone data. No shit, so according to the cell phone data, you know, they can check your location, GPS and stuff, which is why you know everyone's always like I don't want to give them my data so they could do that. I was like, they got it, They got it. Do you have a phone. Do you have a phone? They got it already, so I don't even know what you like. 00:57:23 Speaker 2: That's how they keep a track of where people are traveling. And that's it. And it's a lot of times they can. 00:57:27 Speaker 3: Tell immediately when the laws are lifted, because all of a sudden, the dots just start moving a little bit everywhere. 00:57:33 Speaker 1: I have a friend who's like really conscious about that shit and everyone so I do on Facebook. He'll post some post It's like, guys, go into the options of Facebook, turn off this feature and turn off that feature. Then they won't be able to track you for advertising stuff. And I was like, do you they got it? Like if you have, you know when they got your shit when you said sign me up for Facebook, that's all they needed. Like I didn't read all that shit. None of us did. None of us read all that shit. Okay, a thousand years from now, Facebook's gonna own all the property because we signed it away. None of us knew. Just fucking wanted to go talk to our friends from college. And now this motherfucker's gonna be like, so your firstborn child, that's mine. Okay, Facebook's bringing back slavery. Okay, I don't know if you read the contract, but you totally agreed to this bullshit. 00:58:18 Speaker 5: So yes, world like accept, continue, accept, yes, opinions and continues. Come on, what am I gonna get to the pigs? I want except excepted. 00:58:31 Speaker 2: No, And they know people don't. It's like, it's not a thousand words. Let me tell you something. The thing they have now when you go to websites. 00:58:38 Speaker 1: Everyone fought so hard for this in the digital active in the space. They're like, these websites are tracking you using cookies. And first of all, cookies are delicious. 00:58:49 Speaker 2: They are. 00:58:49 Speaker 1: They should have named it something way more ominous that they wanted me to be scared. But too, They're like, they're tracking using cookies, so we're gonna make every website have to add to use cooking. And I, yes, you can use the cookies. Let's go. Let's get to the New York Times artaga already come on, Like I clicked on this to get to. 00:59:08 Speaker 2: The headline to find out what the fuck this is about? 00:59:11 Speaker 1: You got me? Okay, I want to know. And so they put a pop up on everything. It's like, do you accept cookies or not? And I go, yes, I accept the cookies. Now show me what my baby would look like if it was you know, me and my best friend. They blended our faces together, like. 00:59:27 Speaker 2: What the

fuck? 00:59:27 Speaker 1: I don't care. Show me what Game of Thrones character I am? Anyway, Cookie porn. It's just cookie porn, okay, which is why I watch it, okay all day, every day. 00:59:41 Speaker 3: Watching it, bab Yes, watching them cookies term buttery brown. 00:59:46 Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about. 00:59:49 Speaker 1: That is that kind of porn that is like a wholesome type of porn. 00:59:52 Speaker 2: Come on, come on, get it with for them smells. It's soft to eat. Let's know. I can go on and on about some cookies. Now, snailed my finger. 01:00:02 Speaker 3: I just stuck it in some doves, nick my fingers. 01:00:09 Speaker 1: But yeah, so they they tracked everybody's data with a capture from opting cell phone apps. Data scientists at the firm vote Map use it to determine the movements of the devices present at protests in late April, at early May and five stages states Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, Colorado, and Florida. And they found out like that, these motherfuckers. They basically they tracked them for up to forty eight hours after the protest right they found out like these motherfuckers weren't even like all from those places. 01:00:41 Speaker 3: No, they were a lot of yes, a lot of them out of state coming to these states and then going back home. It makes sense because the people, a lot of people the high seventy to eighty possibly ninety people are like. 01:00:52 Speaker 2: Fuck, no, why the hell are we open? 01:00:54 Speaker 1: Right, So they had people riding driving from a couple of hours out of state. Sometimes they do this and then of course when it's over, they drive back. So if they were at a protest, not wearing masks, not social distancing, and ship, they may potentially be spreading ship all over the globe. So you know, this is crazy, those fucking protests. 01:01:14 Speaker 2: Man. 01:01:15 Speaker 5: So my one of my least favorite things about the protest well, I hate everything about them, but one of my most anger making things are that they're using our signs, like they're they're taking a lot of the ship that they're like, the slogans and the bullshit that they're writing on their sons are from us. 01:01:32 Speaker 7: Like I can't say my. 01:01:34 Speaker 5: Body my choice is fucking dick's. 01:01:36 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it doesn't mean the same thing. 01:01:39 Speaker 5: You know, abortion doctors, you fucking dick everybody else. 01:01:44 Speaker 1: It's we're at that point where everyone has the words now to because of the Internet, everyone's learned out of language to like say ship in a way that you know, like to say fucked up ship and justify their actions. But they say it in a way that sounds like it's inspirational, you. 01:02:00 Speaker 5: Know what I mean, Like all lives matters, right Jesus? 01:02:06 Speaker 2: Like how are you. 01:02:08 Speaker 1: How are you at to reopen the economy and let people die protest talking about our lives matter? 01:02:13 Speaker 2: Like like how does that make sense? How does that? Fucking Like these fucking people are. 01:02:18 Speaker 1: So stupid, man, I Like, the only thing you can do is stay away from him. 01:02:22 Speaker 2: There's like not a there's not a solution. 01:02:24 Speaker 1: You can't reason with them, you can't fucking talk to them or whatever. You just gotta literally stay away because they don't give a fuck. Like every day I feel like I'm reading another article about someone being like, sir, can you please put on a mask? And then the person being like, I will spit in your face. I will call on the police. It's like, what what is what is this coming from? Speaking of which guys a vegan chef and and flat earther. It's being branded, it's being branded a covidiot after accusing supermarket staff of discrimination for not letting her into a store without a mask. Yes, here, that's what I would say. That's the that's the new that's the new racism. Guys, not letting people in the store without wearing a mask. Well, right there, that was an advertising Karen. So I'm just trying to definitely move through the podcast as a professional here, uh, but continue to break the forth for it's fine. Yeah, I was gonna show you, guys a video of this woman having a meltdown and store with a mask. 01:03:33 Speaker 5: Okay, so I'm going to talk to the manager because. 01:03:38 Speaker 1: First of all, keep in mind she filmed this, so she thinks she's right. You see what I'm saying, because she had to film this and upload it because she's like, see, look at the discrimination I am going through, guys. This is like what they did to Martin Luther King. I'm going to show you what is happening at Whole Foods. The discrimination will cease to today when I expose them. 01:04:05 Speaker 5: Because a one of mouth. 01:04:12 Speaker 6: God hi hi as a medical condition. 01:04:20 Speaker 2: That of course she wants to speak to a manager. Okay, she is, but I have a medical condition. Bit you out to be the main one. What is something to come up your face? 01:04:27 Speaker 1: I don't understand this. This is a Karen uh. This is definitely Karen like behavior. 01:04:32 Speaker 2: Okay. The fact, the fact that she. 01:04:35 Speaker 1: The fact that she she was like, I have a medical condition, and everybody's like, it's like, have you read about what the virus does, ma'am? Have you have you done any research at all? Because the mask is really for you. It's really mask is for you. 01:04:51 Speaker 2: Are you wearing it? Is actually protecting you? Right now, ma'am sir, I. 01:04:54 Speaker 1: Have asthma, diabetes, and hypertension, and I just don't understand why the funk I gotta wear a mask in America? Okay, I want to speak to seventeen managers. Jesus Christ, no I to wear a mask and I'm not required by hippo. 01:05:12 Speaker 5: And it just made us more divided. It's so fucked up, you know, because I didn't think we could get more divided than we already were another level. 01:05:21

Speaker 1: Right, It's wild because it's like, how the fuck are you divided on like science? You know what I mean? Science like like to me, it's like being divided on like math or something, right, like something where It's like, we all know two plus two is four, so like, how the fuck is it half of us going just opt out of that? You know, No, two plus two is seventeen. And I refuse to listen to reason about this. But that's that's really where we're at right now. Man, Oh my god. Anyway, that Karen was very upset and she ain't wearing no mask, so you know, I guess, fuck us. 01:05:57 Speaker 2: Right until she gets it. 01:06:00 Speaker 3: You know, because I've been reading articles have been coming out about some of these protests and people that have been posting stuff on Facebook talking about the hoax Corona fucked around and touched them, and they're been like, hey guys, hey guys, hey guys, it's serious. I was breathing and the air was cold, My skin was on five was six and forty five days, Like a lot of them are like posting shit. 01:06:18 Speaker 2: Onna, dog, I thought it was a hoax to touch me. 01:06:21 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:06:21 Speaker 2: I have one of those articles too. I'm gonna save it for tomorrow. 01:06:23 Speaker 1: But yeah, absolutely, Man, there's people being like, oh, for it's a hoax, and then old shit, I think it's real, you know what I mean. It's like, all right, dude, I don't think you should get to I don't think you should get to have an opinion on this. You should listen to the scientists. Come on, all right, let's move into another segment. Uh, you know what, Let's do some guests the race guys. All right, now, just won't be able to hear the song on Skype because Skype doesn't play the audio. But we're gonna sing a song and we'll be back in like a few seconds. 01:06:54 Speaker 2: So you're gonna hear acapela ja. 01:06:56 Speaker 1: Here we go. 01:06:57 Speaker 5: Yeah, Now that it's time for us guests the race. 01:07:02 Speaker 2: That's right, it's guess the race time. Now, that is time for some guests the race. That's right, it's guests the race time. That's right. 01:07:14 Speaker 1: It's time for guess the race, the number one game you're going across all the podcasts when we read the play news arts all over the globe and we asked our contestants today Jess Wood of the get Wood podcast. 01:07:25 Speaker 2: To guess the race. 01:07:27 Speaker 1: And of course everyone playing, Oh wait, Karen plays in the chat room plays and everyone playing is the racist. All right, let's get into the guests of the race. First article, teams caught burglarizing. But that's the chevy Chase High School amid uptick in school break INDs. 01:07:47 Speaker 2: First of all, chevy Chase has a. 01:07:49 Speaker 1: High school named after him. I did not know that either, but that okay, good for him, you know, didn't didn't didn't know he had made it to such iconic height as you know, like Franklin Roosevelt and. 01:08:04 Speaker 2: Shit, oh somebody said the city he got a city name after them? Or is he named after a city? 01:08:11 Speaker 1: This is a huge distinction everyone, Okay, Like, I want to know someone, look at chevy Chase to go. We didn't even name a city after this motherfucker? Was was he like, oh, that would be a cool name to be a comedian under anyway. Montgomery County police have arrested in charge three young men for allegedly breaking into Bethesda chevy Chase High School, the latest in a rational school burglaries across the country. On the night of Saturday, May second, the security office for Montgomery County Public Schools noticed several hallway motional lars had been triggered at the high. 01:08:41 Speaker 2: School because ain't nobody supposed to be there? 01:08:43 Speaker 1: Yep, just like these young high schools getting triggered all the time, just for a little bit of motion is located east west. Actually, that's actually these kids are way tougher than us. Like getting triggered in high school now means something totally different. These shooting this shit up. It's gonna be a That's one place our generation don't get to be tougher than these kids. It's like, nah, I never was worried about, you know, not two worrid I was worried about, like purpose might get shot by Mante for that shit he did last week. I was never worried about like some of are you gonna come in with an aka kill us all? Anyway, it's going to be a commercial. It's going to be a commercial burglary alarm or first female dispatcher stated of the second district radio channel at one fifteen am, school security calling it in. They're getting multiple alarms. One is in the hallway stairwell by a lamp. One is in the security office also multi purpose room and office stairwell and door number five. School security is en route. They have a ten minute ETA one officer responding to the priority call spot the two vehicles, both filled with young teenagers, leaving the area of BCC. He stopped one of the vehicles on Sleaford Road amount with half of the. 01:10:02 Speaker 2: Parties that were in the school. 01:10:04 Speaker 1: The officer radio dispatched a short while later, they admitted they were in the school. The other vehicle was a black suv. It turned right towards East West Highway. The men reportedly confessed they had gained access to the building by entering the exterior facing elevatory and then riding it. 01:10:18 Speaker 2: Down to the basement. 01:10:19 Speaker 1: Police confiscated a fifty dollars house plant a twenty five dollars brun from the suspect vehicle, which they alleged were both stolen from the school. 01:10:29 Speaker 2: Y'all didn't have nothing better to. 01:10:30 Speaker 1: Do, apparently not. Police have since charged Matthew dubro nineteen of Bethesda, Phillip Gregory, twenty of Bethesda, and Gabriel McAndrew nineteen of Aspen Hill with second degree burglary, fourth degree burglary, theft less than one hundred dollars, trespassing on school

grounds, and failure to comply with a health emergency. Police transported the men to Second District Station in Bethesda, where they obtained verbal and written confessions. Court document state each faces up the nineteen years in prison Jesus. Cops also interviews several juveniles on the night, yet those records are not available to the public to review, and in concert with the traffic stop, a different set of officers work with school security to collect evidence. Technology, however, had other plans. I'm out with school security right now. There's no way we can view footage. Their feed to the schools not working. The way we get video footage is possibly when schools open back up set a radio dispatcher. All right, guess the rights of these criminals, y'all, Jess. 01:11:33 Speaker 5: I'm with the chatroom does sound like a bunch of white kids. I mean, especially the way that the police stopped them and the way that they were like a house plants that's that they stole. 01:11:43 Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you going to do with that? You can't even like sell that for crack. There's no point in. 01:11:49 Speaker 5: Give it to the like one of their moms whose house they're supposed to be at, And they're like, we said we were gonna be at Phillips house. It's better to bring something for his mom. Solar. 01:12:02 Speaker 2: Oh white, this is in brooms and ship Come on, all right. 01:12:05 Speaker 1: Just check the chat room, right, there's so much cool stuff in the school to steal right. It was like what happened to the A V Club, Like just. 01:12:11 Speaker 2: Steal that ship. 01:12:12 Speaker 1: Anyway, let's say chatroom says, this is some Montgomery County white boy shit, young hort culturest white. 01:12:19 Speaker 2: You throw hajenks white. 01:12:22 Speaker 1: You're all the same race, Lakita, you skipped the computer room and stole a bunch of broom and a plant. White boy mischief, whites or white. I think you said one's last name is dude bro. The correct answer is white. 01:12:37 Speaker 2: You everyone was white. 01:12:43 Speaker 1: I don't think anyone guessed anything else. I think everyone went with white on this one, so. 01:12:48 Speaker 2: I would have been shocked athing else. 01:12:51 Speaker 1: Yeah. This is their picture here, guys. Yeah, these these these poor babies living in the world without any predators. 01:13:02 Speaker 2: This is what happens, guys. Okay, no, what is happening. One of them got a face mask on, but it's coming in his chin. 01:13:10 Speaker 3: What. 01:13:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm sure the police made him take the mask down. 01:13:14 Speaker 1: You know. I feel like when they got pulled over, that one was like your officer, we were practicing social distis, and so I just hope that you can go easy on us and like get the fuck in the car asshole. I had to wake up ating for this bullshit. Right, all right, let's go to the next one. APD, which is the Atlanta Police Department cracks down on the legal street racing and reckless driving with major with major operation. So apparently even in the coronavirus world, people still got the need for speed. 01:13:51 Speaker 2: The gas is cheap. 01:13:56 Speaker 1: Oh wait, just can't hear the article. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to read it. No, no, no, no, no, you wouldn't be able to hear. It's Skype thing. It's not it's not anyway. In a joint effort by multiple law enforcement agencies, forty four people were arrested over the weekend in connection to illgal street racing and reckless driving in Atlanta. Atlanta Police SET officers also issued one hundred and fourteen citations, impounded twenty nine cars, and recovered four guns, including a semi automatic rifle. Atlanta Police were assisted by Georgia State Patrol, the Clayton County Sheriff's Office and Full Ten County Shriff's Office, and the City of Atlanta Department of Corrections. Damn, they was busting everybody. Yeah, there's a string of street racing events that have become a growing concern for police in recent months. Street racings has especially been a problem on the interstates and on Spring Street in midtown. Atlanta. Police report released a report with the names and charges for all forty four arrests that were made on Saturday and Sunday. All right, y'all ready for the names. Ethan Wilcock for Lane Dre twenty nine, Jacquan Jenkins twenty five speeding, Steven Hicks twenty three. 01:15:06 Speaker 2: Land drag. 01:15:08 Speaker 1: Golina Beecher nineteen, drinking in public, Kenneth Good twenty five, drinking in public, Xavier Potite twenty three, drinking in public, Shaanika Advance, drinking in public, Ontavius Lucas twenty six, possession of marijuana, Travis Powers thirty, possession of marijuana, Danielle Buchanan thirty, drinking in public. Samone Mams twenty seven, drinking in public. Vanessa Harris thirty one, drinking in public. Michelle Whitaker thirty two, drinking in public. Chantelle Smith twenty nine, drinking in public. Jackson Hall eighteen no driver's license. 01:15:40 Speaker 2: Oh, okay, okay, so we got off of okay, so we. 01:15:44 Speaker 1: Know how a little pattern skipp there, don Quavius patular land drag mon Tricia Cozy twenty eight. 01:15:51 Speaker 2: What is a land drag? Just dragon racing? 01:15:54 Speaker 1: I don't know, disordly under the influence Tyre Reekson Wait, Tyre Rickson Johnson twenty three, reckless driving. 01:16:05 Speaker 2: All right, guys dress the race, They all the same. Assuming I don't. 01:16:09 Speaker 1: Have any of that pictures, I'm just being racist and assuming that I was saying, oh black, okay, yeah. 01:16:15 Speaker 5: Black black, black folks, because it happens here, La. I've been to a couple of them, and I've only ever seen black guys driving and black guys and girls hanging out. And also the way that they came in with so many police, and the way that they came in with so many citations like drunk, drunk, drunk, no drivers, thank you. So yeah, that

was a giveaway. That one was a death giveaway. 01:16:38 Speaker 1: At the end, Mary Rod all right, black black lightning, black black niggas, rough rider black the faster, fear, faster than the niggas, Like black ones are getting ten years with the same crime, uh fast and furious black Andy black well mad, majority of them are black white fuck it, says Shay I hear you shay uh, but you're dead wrong. The correct answer is black. And I don't have any of that pictures. Guys, I'm just being racist. I'm just sure those people were black. 01:17:13 Speaker 2: You heard the name, yes, but for the fact that they kind them drinking in public? 01:17:16 Speaker 1: What also the names? Was like like they got progressively blacker. As I kept reading the lyst, I was like, these are black people. I didn't know black people did this. Congratulations all diversity. 01:17:26 Speaker 2: Okay, I don't go to drag racis. 01:17:28 Speaker 1: We are not a monolift, all right, we do everything. Shout out the Fast and Furious Atlanta. Get ludle Christ's on spind Off franchise. Okay, come on, all right, let's go to the bonus round. Where's my bonus round music? Like I said, we'll sing the song and we'll be right back in the second. Jest and the. 01:17:55 Speaker 2: Race, saying the race. 01:18:00 Speaker 1: That's right, double the points, double the race, and a bonus round. A guest, the race so far. 01:18:04 Speaker 2: Caaren is two for two. 01:18:06 Speaker 1: Look y'all, both two for two. We had and Jess are tied. Let's see if they can finish a perfect game. All right, here we go East Tennessee woman as charge was repeatedly calling nine to one one. She said Blake Shelton was trying to kill her. 01:18:21 Speaker 2: Ha ha, and I do know that white. 01:18:24 Speaker 1: Man, a Hawkins County woman who was charged with misuse of nine one one after calling authorities on Saturday and saying the country music star Blake Shelton was trying to kill her. According to a report from Hawkins County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called to a camper and in the one thousand block of Robins Lane after receiving a nine one one call from Mary Myers, who had asked for a helicopter. 01:18:47 Speaker 2: Haha, it's a lot happening in this article. 01:18:53 Speaker 1: The report said, listen, when Blake Shelton is on your ass, you're gonna need a helicopter. 01:18:58 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, air left me out of here. The report says, yes, dangers with their guitar. 01:19:04 Speaker 1: When debties arrived, they found Myers, forty eight, with severely slurred speech and unsteady feet. 01:19:10 Speaker 2: Oh, unsteady feet. 01:19:12 Speaker 1: Wide's reported that also was a smell of alcohol coming from Myers. You don't say hcso beforse. Myers told debuties she had called nine one one because Blake Shelton was trying to kill her and there was a man in the woods with a knife the So were those two different people or she thinks Blake Shelton is the man it was the knife? Yes, okay, because you know man in the woods that's justin Tim Blake album. The report also says Myers told Devidies that she and Eric Church were dating and Dolly Parton was flying in to see her that night. 01:19:48 Speaker 3: A wow, okay, Donna's like, I'm not even opening up, Dolly Wood, Why am I coming to see you? 01:19:57 Speaker 1: Ma'am. I know this sounds crazy, but what if we lived in the world she was telling the truth? 01:20:03 Speaker 2: That would be a lot if she was actually telling the truth. Oh my goodness. 01:20:08 Speaker 1: Dolly Parton's like, fuck this bitch told canceling off flight, canceling off flight. 01:20:13 Speaker 2: I can't be caught up with this. Okay, it'd be a good comedy skit. 01:20:16 Speaker 1: I was trying to go and help her kill Blake Sheldon, but this is too much, uh. Devty is a call to the lot by Myers multiple times on Saturday. Debutie's report there there was nobody around the camper and anything that would cause immediate danger to her, but an open bottle of vodka was at her table. Danger was Myers was charged with miss Huston now on one and transported it to Hawkins County jail. Guess the race of Mary Myers Jess Mike Myers. 01:20:50 Speaker 2: Is her nephew. 01:20:52 Speaker 1: Okay, let's take the chat room. See what they believe. She needs to go easy with the gray goose. White. White. 01:20:59 Speaker 2: It's a white Blake Shelton. She lives in the camper White. 01:21:02 Speaker 1: I'm just happy this white woman tried to pin the crime on a white man. 01:21:09 Speaker 2: That's good. 01:21:10 Speaker 1: She's like, I'm not racist. Okay, say what you want, Beth Mary Myers, High off of them opioids and vaka white, Working, nine to five, White and Wizard of Oz. 01:21:25 Speaker 2: I love that movie Working Nah too fat? 01:21:28 Speaker 1: Oh my jam she tried to She at least she didn't try to pin the crime on Joelene. Okay, the correct answer is white. She was a white woman. Everyone got it. 01:21:39 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:21:43 Speaker 1: What does Blake Sheldon even sing about that pic? 01:21:46 Speaker 2: Oh no, ma'am. She just had a hard time. Okay, Oh no, wonder what her feet was unstable. 01:21:54 Speaker 1: She needed to sober up before she got this picture. I do agree with that, it's clearly but yeah, she's. 01:22:02 Speaker 2: Going through a hard time, y'all. 01:22:04 Speaker 1: You know how it is. 01:22:07 Speaker 2: I just want to know what. 01:22:08 Speaker 1: Blake Shelton song inspired the fucking he gonna kill me? You know what I mean? Like, I can think of some artists that have songs that would make me feel like this motherfucker gonna get me if I got to you know, to lit. 01:22:20 Speaker 2: But I don't know what's Blake Shelton singing about over there. 01:22:23 Speaker 1: I'm scared now, all right, last door, last thing, gotta talk toy ratchetness. 01:22:31 Speaker 2: It's a clip playing. 01:22:32 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is It's gonna take a while. 01:22:48 Speaker 2: Yeah,

one day he gonna get away. 01:22:50 Speaker 1: Police have swooped in on a man who who was doing sword exercises in fancy dress. 01:23:01 Speaker 2: Oh swords, Yeah, I'm sharing his picture. Oh, we came a thousand it out there. 01:23:10 Speaker 1: He really look he got here playing D and D. It looks like he's doing some type of cosplayer or something. 01:23:18 Speaker 2: Yes, he cast on somebody. 01:23:21 Speaker 1: Wow. Armed officers swooped in on the sword wielding quote unquote knight who went out for his daily exercise and medieval fancy dress. Police from the Firearms Unit were called by worried families at the lake side beauty spot who feared the mysterious swordsman would launch an attack with a three foot blade. Look good, God, yes, yeah. The man was confronted by officers at gunpoint, but they soon discovered the sword was fake and he was just out for a walk in his fancy dress. Medical technician Mike James, thirty one, was walking around Henry Lay in Saint Melan's cardiof with his family when he saw the drama and fold. Mike said, the whole thing was really surreal. He looked like something out of Assassin's Creed. We saw this guy walking around a nice outfit and carrying a sword. You know, he's gotta be nice to be white though, because they really just stopped and had a chat with him. Look at this picture. It's like that all hanging out like what the fuck motherfucker. 01:24:24 Speaker 2: Got a sword. 01:24:25 Speaker 1: It's just like, oh, man, so what are you in Game of Thrones or Assassin's Creed? 01:24:30 Speaker 2: What what's your favorite Assassine Creed game? 01:24:31 Speaker 1: It's talking about you again, right, he was in black and has just been like pow pow pow. Oh oh oh it was a fake over now that we've killed him. Hey, guys, it looks like he was just playing a game. He's just dressing up. 01:24:47 Speaker 2: I thought that. 01:24:48 Speaker 1: I thought that's a bit weird, but I thought he must be an actor or something, so I didn't think much of it. About five minutes later, the arm police showed up. They said, wait, you didn't think much of it? What it anyway? About five minutes later, armed police showed up and they said, they have reports a suspicious looking person, and we knew right away who they're talking about. I told him it's the black over there. Not just kidding, I told him. I told him it looks like he was doing laps on the lake and that he should be coming around shortly. Mike had his camera with him to take pictures of his son riding a bike and the ducks in the lake. When he captured the drama, He said the police ordered him to put the sword down, and then they confronted him. They had a chat with him for a couple of minutes, and apparently the guy told him he was trying out a new outfit and he was walking around the lake to get used to the weight. The arm wait, a new outfit, like he's gonna just wear that sometimes apparently, so why. 01:25:43 Speaker 2: I guess the conventions back up. He'd be the first thing in line. 01:25:46 Speaker 1: I thought he was gonna say, like for a purpose, like oh, I got a part in the play. 01:25:52 Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I'm just trying out a new outfit. 01:25:54 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Look at this drip, you know what I'm saying. They got nothing on this leather vestment. Okay, showing off my finest night coutour. All right. They had a chat with him for a couple of minutes and apparently the guy told him he's trying new outfit. The armed police were good as go and even had a picture with him afterwards, letting it before letting him go on his way. I don't know what the sword was made from, but it looked real enough. The outfit did look heavy, but I'm just not sure it was proper cha mail, but it made a really teny noise when you walk past. 01:26:26 Speaker 2: A south Welles Police spokesman said. 01:26:28 Speaker 1: At three ten pm on Wednesday, thirteenth May, South Wales Police received a report from a member of the public that a man was seeing the Hendra Lakes in Cardiff for the sword. Officers deployed to the scene where they located located a young man who was in fancy dress carrying the toy sword. No criminal offices were committed, and the man was giving a suitable suitable advice. So there, you guys have it. 01:26:49 Speaker 2: Okay. 01:26:51 Speaker 5: Anybody scared for their lives? I feel like the police are always so scared for their. 01:26:55 Speaker 2: Lives, aren't they Aren't they always shooting? 01:26:58 Speaker 1: Motherfuckers? 01:27:00 Speaker 5: Everyone scared with their fucking I mean, what the fuck? Oh again, a lot. 01:27:05 Speaker 1: Of okay, first, just tell everybody what a fond you. 01:27:12 Speaker 5: Okay, Oh, let me refresh? Good God, what's the refreshing. I'm so sorry about all the refreshing. Hello, I'm refreshed, feeling so refreshed. Well, I'm calling on Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Come on, everybody. I do record on Tuesdays live on Instagram. Get Wood eleven am Pacific, two pm Eastern, and I'm starting a news show that I'm really excited about on Friday. My first guest is Baron Vaughan, and yeah, I'm very excited. One of my best friends in the world. But he's got like a lot of stuff going on right now. And my show is that show will be called What's Good with Jess Wood because I want to I'm gonna be in touch with a bunch of people. You guys, I'm going to reach out to you, I'm going to reach out to keeping them. I'm going to reach out to everybody now and just kind of pop in and just just a little little thirty minute kind of hey, how's it going, and what are you doing for yourselves? And kind of like a little it sounds a little like self care. I don't know, are you making sour though? 01:28:22 Speaker 1: I love it? I love it. 01:28:23 Speaker 2: That's that's dope, man. So check it out, man. 01:28:27 Speaker 1: And you know I follow just on Instagram all that stuff, you know, check out get Wood and all that stuff, because, uh, like I. 01:28:36 Speaker 2: Said, you always enjoy to talk to and how you are, even no. 01:28:39 Speaker 1: Matter what you're going through, it's always like you. You always have like a it's such a weird way to describe it, but it's like an optimistic and sunny thing no matter what. Like even like like Jess could be describing something that's horrible to you, You're just like what happens, like yeah, and know fucking I got kicked out or whatever. You're just like that's crazy. She's like, I know, but now I'm living on the streets and it's fun or whatever. You're just like, Okay, just find a way to make it work. You know how to make it work. So I just always admire that about you. 01:29:09 Speaker 5: So thanks. Well, I'll leave you if I can with one one joke that kind of sums up, if you will, my being back in LA and like being so overcome with memories and stuff. And I walk around LA, and I know, you know, so many people come here and they get so excited when they look at things and they say, oh my god, look at this location. This is wort like a movie was shot here. Because I walk around LA and I stop at locations and I go, oh my god, I was shot here. 01:29:41 Speaker 1: Is that that's real? 01:29:42 Speaker 5: That's true. 01:29:48 Speaker 2: Y sums it up. 01:29:49 Speaker 1: Go back and listen to all episodes of Jets because especially if you're a premium Karen interviewed her for Listenack and Good Ones, and so if you want to hear about the past with the gangs and and the street life and the drugs and all that stuff, check it out, man, because like I said, it's dope to see you Shine and Jess, we'll be back absolutely, and we'll be back tomorrow guys, so thank you. 01:30:12 Speaker 2: Guys check us out. 01:30:13 Speaker 1: Oh and tomorrow morning is when we're going to do our Insecure review with me and BOSSI. So all right, guys, we'll talk to you tomorrow. Un till then, I love you,