Full Transcript for Straightio Rewind: "Maps" w/ Emmy Blotnick (Feb. 21, 2023)

like outsider art, theater, off-Broadway plays, you know, sort of candidates from fifth political parties no one has ever heard of. We're not talking Green Party or. 00:06:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, very, very far left ideas. 00:06:03 Speaker 1: Very far left. 00:06:04 Speaker 2: Traded. 00:06:05 Speaker 1: Actually so far left that it's pretty, it's like really bad. 00:06:08 Speaker 2: It's very right wing. It's very right wing. Yeah. 00:06:11 Speaker 1: We're talking about things, I mean, you know, fashion trends that are toxic and not environmentally friendly. 00:06:17 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:06:18 Speaker 1: I mean, we're talking, you know, models that are, that are infants actually and are legally not allowed to be runway models but they still walked the Eckhouse Lada show Things that are sick and queer. 00:06:32 Speaker 2: Will be discussed freely. And every once in a while, we'll pause and go, oh, my God, they scored. They scored. And we'll cheer. And we'll go, oh, my God, look at that. They scored. Wow. That sounds nice. I actually love it. It makes me feel like the restaurant will be, like, such a community. I agree. When, like, you'll feel, like, the wave of, like, excitement pass over the entire chic little restaurant. I'm so excited for that feeling. 00:06:58 Speaker 1: Well, it'll be once again, as with everything, it will be chosen family because it will be people who have chosen to not participate in Super Bowl culture and go have a chicken dinner, a slightly overpriced chicken dinner on a Sunday night in Bed-Stuy, New York City. 00:07:15 Speaker 2: Wow. I mean, it's going to be like so hard even to just like comfortably be served because I'll just be so like, empathetic to the workers there. 00:07:26 Speaker 1: The empathy will be overflowing. 00:07:28 Speaker 2: Like, I'll be like, you are not my waiter tonight. You are my mother, and I appreciate you. Like, we are spending a Super Bowl together, and that is not lost on me. 00:07:39 Speaker 1: Every time someone will bring us their chicken, Sam will say, thanks, mother. I'll say, thank you, mother. Thank you so much for everything you do to me. 00:07:48 Speaker 2: And for me. 00:07:49 Speaker 1: And for me. 00:07:50 Speaker 2: Wow. Well.... 00:07:52 Speaker 1: I mean, I think, to be honest, my heart rate is up. I am ready for the big game. And by the big game, I do mean my chicken dinner. 00:08:02 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:08:02 Speaker 1: And I am, in fact, ready to get this fucking episode going. 00:08:07 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:08:08 Speaker 2: Hell yes, brother. 00:08:10 Speaker 1: And please welcome the Rihanna of this episode of Stradio Lab, Emmy Blotnick. 00:08:15 Speaker 2: Oh, my Lord. 00:08:16 Speaker 3: I'm so thrilled to be part of this holy holiday with you. 00:08:21 Speaker 2: Yes. Please tell us your relationship with the Super Bowl at large. 00:08:27 Speaker 3: It's really complicated and mysterious in its absence, I think. I am going to start calling it Straitsgiving. I think it's the

only. 00:08:39 Speaker 2: Wow, that's actually genius. 00:08:40 Speaker 1: That's really good. 00:08:41 Speaker 3: I do really love the food of football, but not the people or atmosphere. Yeah, yeah. 00:08:47 Speaker 1: I mean, it is just food. 00:08:51 Speaker 2: Yeah, nachos. 00:08:51 Speaker 1: I mean, I'll say this about the Super Bowl. You know, people are scared of Sundays, generally speaking. People are scared to do things on Sundays. And it is always nice when there is an excuse to be communal. 00:09:05 Speaker 3: That's true. That is true. 00:09:06 Speaker 1: That is true. 00:09:08 Speaker 3: The cure for the common Sunday scaries. 00:09:11 Speaker 2: Exactly. Exactly. 00:09:12 Speaker 1: You're like, well, I can't have Sunday scaries because I'm blackout drunk and throwing up from all these jalapeno poppers. 00:09:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, there is really something to that. An excuse to like throw caution to the wind on a Sunday night is really, really powerful. 00:09:27 Speaker 1: Totally. 00:09:28 Speaker 3: Does the Grammys do that for anybody anymore? 00:09:32 Speaker 1: I don't think the Grammys even exists anymore. 00:09:36 Speaker 3: It didn't register for me. 00:09:38 Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually think, and this is a theory that I have, they've sort of like, at some point they realize no one is, No one's watching. So they sort of pre-tape. I think these outfits we're seeing Sam Smith in, I mean, they took those photos five years ago. I'm convinced. I think they're just releasing them every year. They're like, okay, this year Beyonce is gonna, in quotes, gonna lose. And like people will go on. And they're just sort of like releasing photos of her in various outfits. It was all one photo shoot. I don't think that ceremony took place. 00:10:07 Speaker 3: It was in Dubai, right? 00:10:09 Speaker 1: I'm sure it was. 00:10:10 Speaker 2: I'm sure it was, yeah. 00:10:10 Speaker 3: I feel like that's what happened. I think there were a thousand people there in Dubai. Yeah. And no one won. So we didn't hear about it. 00:10:17 Speaker 1: And it was sponsored by just the concept of war. 00:10:24 Speaker 2: You know, I do think that it's weird that the Super Bowl actually gives me more permission to go off on a Sunday than the Grammys, than the Oscars. 00:10:33 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:10:33 Speaker 2: Then I don't feel any award show that should be like, this is like the gay Super Bowl. I know. It doesn't actually have any fun of a Super Bowl. 00:10:42 Speaker 3: No. 00:10:43 Speaker 2: And in fact, sucks fun out. 00:10:45 Speaker 1: It's like, yes. Well, especially now that no one cares about any of these things, you really sort of feel like you are at a funeral or something. You're like with you're like, let's say you try. You actually muster up the energy, courage and, you know, positivity to throw an Oscars party in the year 2023. Everyone comes to your apartment. You make little snacks, you know, tar bites. And then you serve them to everyone. And then suddenly you realize no one has seen any of the movies. You know, you invite your best chicas and their husbands are like, who even is Cate Blanchett? 00:11:19 Speaker 3: And you're like, well, I made everything nice just for this. I didn't even get to introduce the ranchies of Ittisharen. I feel like that's a snack, but.... 00:11:30 Speaker 2: Yeah, like the bruschetta of Innesheeran. Yeah, the bruschetta. 00:11:34 Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that's better. Ranchies aren't a food. I'll go rehearse next time. 00:11:42 Speaker 1: No, I mean, it's sort of like with all that stuff, you sort of feel like that scene in Phantom Thread where the New Year's party is over and they're dancing alone. But the Super Bowl, I mean, what's nice about the Super Bowl is because it is still such a big event, It at least doesn't feel depressing in that like death of culture way where the Oscars you're like, well, we're just like cosplaying 1997 here. 00:12:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, that is true. The Super Bowl has managed to at least like. yeah, there's enough money going into it that there's going to be something entertaining. I don't know. Tomorrow, everyone's going to be like, did you see the commercial with the ape wearing Bruno Mars's face? And then, you know, it's something to chat about at work. 00:12:30 Speaker 2: I know. 00:12:30 Speaker 1: I have a question. Like, truly, like, why does straight, why do straight things have so much more longevity than gay things? Like, There is no gay tradition that can last more than like seven years. 00:12:44 Speaker 2: I think gay people don't like traditions that much. Like they always have to be like sort of like making things fresh in a way that's like, I'm doing it my way. And then so it's like they just tear down the thing from five years ago. 00:12:57 Speaker 1: You're so right, because you know what would kill the Super Bowl if they had to change their outfits every year? And it's like, well, this year it's wide legged pants. This year they're wearing like those giant red boots that are viral. Then, like, you know, people would be, like, making fun of it and there wouldn't be that sort of classic feel. 00:13:12 Speaker 3: That's true. Reinvention is the sport, you know? 00:13:15 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:13:16 Speaker 2: Yes, it's true. 00:13:17 Speaker 1: I mean, that's why Madonna is no longer sort of like a pioneer because she did it too many times. 00:13:24 Speaker 2: She stopped reinventing. 00:13:26 Speaker 1: It's crazy that Madonna, it's like Tom Brady literally will have more longevity than Madonna. 00:13:32 Speaker 2: Oh, no. 00:13:33 Speaker 3: Oh, no. It doesn't sit well with me. It gives me a hard burn to. 00:13:37 Speaker 1: Think about this. 00:13:37 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm nauseous now. Hmm. 00:13:43 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:13:44 Speaker 2: Also, okay. I think there's something about the Super Bowl. I know this is not our topic, but I do love it, actually, to talk about. But where it's, like, not

addressing your feelings. Like, when it's, like, the Oscars, it's, like, okay, like, let's mourn, like, the death of film. Like, we need to activate, like, cinema is more important now than ever. And it's, like, dying art if we don't save it. And, like, football is literally, like, giving people brain damage. And they're, like, let's fucking go. And it's, like. I know. Just, like, there's almost something to, like, burying all your feelings and being, like, let's have fun tonight. That's it. I want to have fun. And the Oscars don't provide you with that. 00:14:23 Speaker 3: This is why I was thinking about tailgating too, because they'll, they'll celebrate not even being in the event, which is next. 00:14:31 Speaker 1: It's actually crazy. Yeah, no, it really is true. I mean, this is, I would actually say this is a common thread with like many of our topics where it's like shutting off all doubt and just being like, for these four hours, we're fucking doing this. I mean, that's like, It's like how weddings are. It's like how, you know, sort of like a Thanksgiving dinner is. It's just like, can everyone just be good for four hours so we can cut this turkey? 00:14:59 Speaker 2: I mean, you know what? 00:15:01 Speaker 1: I'll say this. After yesterday spending a day with eight gay men for about 12 hours, the amount of chapters of different sorts of mini psychodramas that there were, I'm like, maybe we could take a note from uh things like the nuclear family and just relax for a. 00:15:20 Speaker 2: Single second i mean there is nothing more comforting than being around like a guy who you know you don't in your day-to-day get along with like you know you disagree with him like on every outlook but it's like damn he's fun to hang out with when he's like ready to party like yeah when it's like a frat guy who like you you know this is never gonna be your best friend but he just like treats you super nice for like three hours, you're like, that's incredible. Nothing feels better than that. 00:15:47 Speaker 3: Right. Like a big dude pointing at you and going, need another one? Feels awesome for a second. You're like, I'm camouflaging in this environment. 00:15:57 Speaker 1: No, you're so right, Emmy. Oh my God. 00:15:59 Speaker 2: Wow. Wow. 00:16:02 Speaker 1: Should we do our first segment, Sam? 00:16:04 Speaker 4: Sure. 00:16:05 Speaker 2: I'm not opposed. 00:16:06 Speaker 1: Because I really, like, I feel like Emmy came, Emmy, you came more prepared than potentially any other guest ever has. And so we really want to give you– well, actually, so it's like you came prepared with a number of topics unlike any we've ever seen. 00:16:20 Speaker 3: Wow. I'm really flattered. 00:16:21 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:16:21 Speaker 1: There are two kinds of prepared in this podcast, and they are A, coming up with a lot of topics, and B, coming with one topic but having like a packet of research on it. 00:16:33 Speaker 3: I mean, I do have a packet. 00:16:35 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. 00:16:35 Speaker 1: I mean, you have to. And then, of course, there's a third option. 00:16:38 Speaker 3: What's option three? 00:16:40 Speaker 1: Well, you did the writing packet for the show, right? 00:16:43 Speaker 3: We sent it to your agent. Yes, yeah. I wrote it under JoJo Millennial, in case you weren't. I didn't want to be biased, or for you to be biased about me. 00:16:53 Speaker 2: No, that's actually what made him really, really biased. And he was like, we have to have her. 00:16:57 Speaker 1: I was like, JoJo Millennial applied? 00:16:59 Speaker 2: We have to have her on. 00:17:01 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:17:02 Speaker 2: JoJo Millennial. No, I'm sorry. That is so fucking crazy. 00:17:05 Speaker 3: I had to walk away from the microphone to laugh. Like, no one needs to hear a woman cackling before she's been introduced. 00:17:15 Speaker 2: JoJo Millennial. She's also like... I always think of that JoJo as literally like 13 years old. So it's so funny to be like JoJo Millennial. Like, she's like 33 now. And it's like, that is so. 00:17:30 Speaker 1: She is, in fact, my exact age because I remember when she first came out, I was like, oh, my God, like she could be in my class. 00:17:37 Speaker 3: And she could be like your twin, too. 00:17:40 Speaker 1: My twin, yeah, exactly. 00:17:41 Speaker 3: When you flat iron your hair, you guys look so alike. 00:17:45 Speaker 2: So alike. JoJo Millennial. Oh, my God. 00:17:49 Speaker 3: And she has at least three good songs, I think. 00:17:53 Speaker 1: Oh 100 and she seems like she has a good head on her shoulders what am i basing off that off. 00:17:56 Speaker 2: Of nothing just that you know i like when people are like in the spotlight but never like full star like they're like i'm that to me is like you're responsible almost also. 00:18:07 Speaker 1: She was in a movie that my sisters loved wait was it aquamarine hold. 00:18:11 Speaker 2: On i think she was an aquamarine. 00:18:13 Speaker 1: Okay aquamarine okay well i searched jojo movie and it And the result was Jojo Rabbit, which is not what I'm looking for. In fact, I should have searched Jojo Millennial movie. 00:18:22 Speaker 2: This is like turning into a straight shooter. This is like Jojo. 00:18:26 Speaker 1: Jojo Millennial or Jojo Rabbit. Okay, Emmy, our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment, we gauge your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or that thing. And there is no rhyme or reason to the things we say. It doesn't make any sense. And the one rule is you can't ask any follow-up questions. Do you copy? 00:18:47 Speaker 3: Copy. 00:18:48 Speaker 1: Okay. Sam, take it away. 00:18:50 Speaker 2: Okay. Jojo movie, Jojo millennial, or Jojo Siwa? 00:18:55 Speaker 3: Jojo millennial. Is that the segment? 00:18:59 Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah. 00:19:00 Speaker 1: It's literally the segment. 00:19:01 Speaker 2:

Okay. 00:19:01 Speaker 1: Emmy, taking a hot bath or pulling a Sylvia Plath? 00:19:06 Speaker 3: Hot bath, baby. 00:19:07 Speaker 1: Ooh. 00:19:08 Speaker 2: Okay. Okay. Banshees of Innishiren or Wizards of Waverly Place? 00:19:15 Speaker 3: Oh, it's so tough. It's a 50-50 split, but Banshees of Innishiren. 00:19:19 Speaker 1: Okay, Emmy. Walking in New York Fashion Week or talking to a New York fashion twink? 00:19:25 Speaker 3: Talking to a New York fashion twink. 00:19:28 Speaker 2: Okay. A task being Sisyphean or an ass being gargantuan? Gargantuan. 00:19:35 Speaker 3: Gotta go with that gargantuan ass. 00:19:39 Speaker 1: Okay, Emi. La cucaracha or las culturistas? 00:19:45 Speaker 3: Las culturistas. 00:19:48 Speaker 2: You know, mine's actually kind of similar. Um, Uno, Dos, Tres or Cuatro, Cinco, Seis? 00:19:53 Speaker 3: Oh my God, that is guttingly difficult. I'm going Uno, Dos, Tres. I'm a man of the people. 00:20:00 Speaker 1: I'm surprised you didn't do one of my favorite lyrics, Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce. 00:20:05 Speaker 2: I was tempted, of course. 00:20:06 Speaker 1: Do you remember that song? 00:20:07 Speaker 2: You too? Of course, you too. 00:20:09 Speaker 1: Of course. 00:20:10 Speaker 2: Vertigo. 00:20:10 Speaker 1: Okay, Emmy, this is a three-parter. Calling your wife my other half, calling your wife the old ball and chain, or calling your wife's name but not getting a response because she up and left your rude ass? 00:20:25 Speaker 3: I'll go with number three. 00:20:26 Speaker 1: Yeah, you got it. That's the feminist one. 00:20:30 Speaker 2: I actually do have one more. 00:20:32 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:20:33 Speaker 2: Okay, using a bidet or having a good day? 00:20:38 Speaker 3: I'll go with using a bidet you gotta take the chance when you get. 00:20:44 Speaker 1: It oh that was really good sam thank you you using a bidet or having a good day is one of our best i would say in the history of this podcast. 00:20:55 Speaker 2: Wow well i think so good 1,000 doves clean. 00:21:00 Speaker 1: Emmy, we rate everyone's performance on a scale of 0 to 1,000 doves, and you got 1,000 doves. 00:21:05 Speaker 3: I am completely thrilled. Wow. 00:21:09 Speaker 1: And they will be arriving in the mail. Yeah. 00:21:11 Speaker 2: They come in a box. 00:21:13 Speaker 1: As soon as they announce a Super Bowl winner, the doves are going to just fly out and fill your apartment with bird shit. 00:21:19 Speaker 2: I also love, as soon as they announce a Super Bowl winner. 00:21:21 Speaker 1: I'm like, I think sports work by like Faye Dunaway opening an envelope and announcing who won. 00:21:28 Speaker 3: The judges go behind a curtain and deliberate. And they're like, the winner is the standard poodle. 00:21:33 Speaker 2: They're like, players, come out. 00:21:35 Speaker 1: It's literally Michelle Visage being like, I didn't... That beat needs some work. 00:21:43 Speaker 2: We've seen the silhouette over and over. We need something new from you. 00:21:48 Speaker 3: We are requesting uniforms by Paloma Wool for 2024. 00:21:56 Speaker 1: For the unconventional materials challenge, you guys did not do a very good job. Well, Emmy, I think without further ado, I would like for you to do a dramatic reading of the list of topics you came up with. 00:22:13 Speaker 3: I'm really thrilled to do it. I felt like I was underprepared. So to learn I am in fact overprepared has been, you know, it's adrenalizing. So my list of topics was two-in-one shampoo and conditioner, cold cuts, dicks, sporting goods, L.L. 00:22:35 Speaker 2: Bean. 00:22:36 Speaker 3: Tailgating, waiting your turn, skiing, venture capital athleisure brands, American Eagle Outfitters, the three-city run of Cancun, Boston, Philadelphia, true religion genes, maps, directions, and last but not least, instructions. 00:22:54 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:22:57 Speaker 1: We're going to add a little music, sort of crescendo music, as you say that list, I think. 00:23:03 Speaker 3: Or like my favorite things, if you want. 00:23:06 Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll actually make a whole track. We'll take your raw audio and then make it into a song. 00:23:11 Speaker 3: Cold cuts in Boston. 00:23:15 Speaker 2: Cancun in two in one. Okay, well, that's genius. Actually, one of my favorite ones from that list is Cancun because... I agree. You really forget about Cancun as like a straight destination. Totally. Because that's... Talk about the Super Bowl of a location. Like as a kid, Cancun was like... It was like the place that people would say. And I was like, that place must be so magical. And then as an adult, I'm like, oh. I kind of know what the vibe is, I think. We also grew. 00:23:46 Speaker 1: Up in the peak era of MTV Spring Break, I feel. 00:23:49 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:23:51 Speaker 1: To the point where you sort of thought like that was a religious holiday that for a week every year you simply had to participate in a wet T-shirt contest. And you were like, well, at some point it will be my turn. I will be called. I will be drafted into Cancun to participate in MTV Spring Break. And I better have my abs ready by then. 00:24:11 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:24:11 Speaker 3: I need a pair of cut-off short shorts that I can wear with the fly folded down and open without them falling off. Yes. And, God, I did that. The saddest thing is that I went to Cancun once with my mom. It was just us. 00:24:27 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:24:28 Speaker 3: And we, like, sat at a Senor Frog's quietly, just me and a... She's now 76 years old. So it was, like, a really... Like, you don't want to do MTV Spring Break, just you and your mother. 00:24:42 Speaker 1: Did your mom... Did your mom... Did she get any screen time on MTV Spring Break? 00:24:48 Speaker 3: I think she twerked on Dave Holmes for, like, one interstitial. They kept me outside, so. 00:25:00 Speaker 1: She presented JoJo Millennial's performance. 00:25:02 Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Presenting my sister in menstruation, Jojo Millennial.

00:25:17 Speaker 1: Well, I will say, you know, as much as I'm really glad that you sort of made the decision for us and said your favorite topic was maps, because I think it's a rich topic. And otherwise, I honestly would have had a very difficult time choosing. 00:25:28 Speaker 3: We didn't even talk about what you were thinking of. 00:25:32 Speaker 1: In terms of your options? 00:25:33 Speaker 3: In terms of your options. I feel like. 00:25:35 Speaker 1: Oh, honey, we don't bring options. 00:25:36 Speaker 2: We don't bring options. 00:25:39 Speaker 1: No, we sort of tell our guests, we tell our guests, like, feel free to bring a topic. But if you don't have one, like, we can talk one out together. And then usually what will happen is we'll have a sort of like, you know, I would say Freudian psychoanalysis session where we try to siphon out an interest from our guest. And we're like, well, is there anything you have a specific expertise in or anything you grew up with that you feel like you want to revisit? And then usually it's like, you know, taxes. 00:26:05 Speaker 3: Yes. But sorry, Sam, I felt like cold cuts sparked something in you. I rudely interrupted. 00:26:13 Speaker 2: No, thank you for calling me in because I was gonna, you know, let it slide. And the listeners deserve to know that cold cuts did in fact speak to me. But it's sort of a difficult speaking to me because it's I see myself in cold cuts. I see myself in you know, someone who wants cold cuts in the house. And that's really hard when that mirror is so clear. But it is a, it's real. There's something real to it. I even think just the phrase cold cuts has made me uncomfortable in like a panty way, you know, where it's like, that's one of those words. It's like, this is kind of weird. 00:26:49 Speaker 1: That's so interesting because I feel the opposite where I'm like, what perfect, it almost seems like something someone would come up with now, like a branding genius. Like how crazy that that's an old word and not like a new direct-to-consumer startup. Cold cuts? I mean, it's such a perfect little phrase. 00:27:07 Speaker 3: It does sound sort of like a cryotherapy clinic of some sort. 00:27:13 Speaker 1: Oh, have you tried cold cuts? Are you taking a cold cut probiotic? 00:27:17 Speaker 2: Oh, yes. 00:27:18 Speaker 3: Yes, I am actually. And that's why I've been shitting like perfect freeze-dried turds. 00:27:26 Speaker 2: Oh my God. 00:27:27 Speaker 1: Now talk about something you can package and sell. 00:27:30 Speaker 2: I wish. 00:27:31 Speaker 3: Astronaut turds. 00:27:35 Speaker 2: Astronaut turds. That's such a beautiful song title. 00:27:38 Speaker 1: I always feel like. 00:27:40 Speaker 3: The person doing cold cuts, like when you do buy cold cuts at the grocery store, I don't think they have ever been sliced for me by a woman or by a man under 40. 00:27:50 Speaker 2: Interesting. 00:27:51 Speaker 1: Well, you know, that's sort of a sign of, Because I, in fact, you'll

never believe this, go to a place where it is a woman slicing them. And I feel like that's sort of a, this sort of, you know, post-2014 Williamsburg artisanal vibe where you're like, well, this is clearly ethically made. A woman cut it. 00:28:11 Speaker 3: Women can use the slicer too. 00:28:13 Speaker 2: Yes. Okay. Okay. But the topic is. 00:28:19 Speaker 1: The topic is MAPS. 00:28:20 Speaker 2: The topic is MAPS. 00:28:22 Speaker 3: And yet we keep getting lost. 00:28:23 Speaker 1: What does it mean? Ladies and gentlemen, Karen O. She performs maps. 00:28:27 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:28:32 Speaker 2: Wow. That would be huge. 00:28:34 Speaker 1: That would be huge if Karen O showed up in a Zoom window and performed maps. 00:28:42 Speaker 2: Okay. So wait, I mean, what led you to maps as a straight topic? 00:28:48 Speaker 3: Okay, so I am married to a straight man, and I have found that that's one of the first things I wanted to outsource to my parents. better half slash ball and chain slash, you know, like I was very excited to not have to read maps anymore. And then once I was traveling alone again, I was like, Oh no, this has become actually like a huge deficiency for me where I will walk the opposite direction of where I'm going. Like I need walking maps and it's, I just feel humiliated by them and I have to blame straightness at large for it, I guess. 00:29:26 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:29:26 Speaker 1: No, I think first of all, You are correct. I mean, MAPS is like, okay, Christopher Columbus. 00:29:33 Speaker 3: It's worse than just straight. It's colonialist. 00:29:37 Speaker 2: It's colonialist. 00:29:38 Speaker 1: Well, it is literally colonialist, yeah. So I have so much to say about this. And I'm like, you mentioned, Emmy, not... I want to know more about sort of your history with not being able to read MAPS well. Because I think maybe there is a sort of. 00:30:00 Speaker 1: And let me know if I'm projecting onto you, but I feel like you are potentially someone who is like probably academically very smart, probably was a really good student. And I want to know if, like me, you were like, is the fact that I can't read maps a sign that I'm actually deep down stupid? 00:30:21 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. And weirdly, I have a little bit of, I'm going to say self-diagnosed dyslexia with numbers and with left and right. So I did go to college and I have read a book. But in general, if you give me directions, I won't retain them. And if you show me a map, I will flip it and reverse it in my mind. 00:30:47 Speaker 1: 100%. The way I don't even attempt, if someone like, or even when someone's trying to describe where something is and they're like, you know on 61st Street? And I completely like immediately check out. And I just nod. It's like, it's better to just nod and let it wash over you than to try to participate in any meaningful way. 00:31:07 Speaker 3: Yeah. At some point when someone's giving me directions, I'm like, what does this person want from me? Even though I asked them. 00:31:15 Speaker 1: You're like silently tearing up. You're like.... 00:31:19 Speaker 3: I am being held hostage right now. 00:31:23 Speaker 2: I have to say though, I think I absolutely love giving people directions, especially like when I'm just sort of winging it. Like I love being like, yeah, like there'll be like, is there a train station over here? I'll be like, um, yeah, I believe it's like two blocks that way. And there's a 50% chance I'm wrong, but I have to do it every single time. 00:31:44 Speaker 3: So directions are like a performance for you in a way. Or performance art? 00:31:49 Speaker 2: Directions are a huge performance. It's where I come alive. It's projecting a confidence that is just not there. I mean, I'm like, there's no reason for this. I choose to look confident and cool over being helpful, actually. And that's what I do. Yeah, I like giving directions and I don't really care if I'm wrong. Like, I just want to look cool and confident rather than be helpful. 00:32:10 Speaker 1: Well, I'm like, the few times I actually know where I am, if something is like in my neighborhood or if something is truly like a block away... I then am like, oh great, now I can pretend I'm like normal people. And like, they'll think I do this all the time. 00:32:21 Speaker 2: Okay. I also, so maps specifically, the way that they're like a little puzzle, like the way that they're like, and here's the key. Like, this is how much distance this is. And it's like, okay, wait, but there's not like a tool. Like, they're like not meant to be able to be used easily. It's not like you can like take the tool out and be like, okay, so it's two miles to there. You just have to like kind of eyeball it. And that's like, I don't have that type of confidence. 00:32:46 Speaker 3: And eyeballing on a map sometimes is the difference between a three-hour drive and a five-hour drive. And I will only sit for four hours. So, you know, I don't know. I certainly do remember the days of printing out multi-page MapQuest directions and feeling more comforted by that than a map. 00:33:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, I loved that, actually. I will say it's also okay. This is a maybe a gay thing. Anytime I'm holding a map, it's like instantly a performance like holding a map. I am like Sandra Bullock, like in a 90s movie, like sipping a Coke and like being in the like passenger seat, like looking hot and cool. Like, and being like, oh, I've got it. Like, take this right. And it's, like, not ever... Like, it is a prop to me. It's hard for me to see it as, like, an actual helpful thing. 00:33:41 Speaker 1: Well, it's Dora the Explorer. I mean, you're immediately Dora the Explorer. Your backpack is talking to you, and you're running away from a fox. And to that I say, grow up. 00:33:53 Speaker 2: It's Dora the Explorer. Exactly. 00:33:55 Speaker 3: Correct. 00:33:56 Speaker 1: So I want to get into sort of the... the man versus woman of it all with maps.

Because, of course, the classic stereotype is that men don't want to ask for directions. So, Emmy, what's that about? 00:34:09 Speaker 3: What is that about? I feel like... I guess it shows... vulnerability to be like, I don't know where I am. And that might be a tough swing. But what about the fact that you'll never see that person again, most likely? And taking your family into the woods or whatever is way worse. 00:34:31 Speaker 1: Yeah. But well, the vulnerability thing is so apt because it's like, You know, there's this fear that, oh, it might be a slippery slope. Like, first thing, I'm asking for directions. Next thing you know, I'm going to be talking about my relationship with my dad to this stranger. Like, you know, you never know what it's going to lead to. Like, so better to just stay silent and stoic. 00:34:48 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:34:49 Speaker 3: Yes. Yes. 00:34:50 Speaker 2: God forbid I ask this man for directions and fall in love with him. Yes, exactly. Okay, we have our new short film. 00:34:59 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:34:59 Speaker 2: And you know what? I'll say this. 00:35:00 Speaker 1: Like, asking for directions is actually... always going to be more effective than looking at a map. And you get to make a new friend, and you get to exercise more human rather than robotic qualities. It's sort of like, well, it's sort of like straight men want to be robots, and everyone else actually is satisfied being a human. 00:35:25 Speaker 3: Wow. 00:35:25 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? 00:35:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really. 00:35:29 Speaker 4: Profound actually it's like no but it's truly it's like this is the same thing with like chat gbt and all this stuff where it's like isn't it cool that we're evolving into robots and you're like actually no you know what would be cool evolving into humans. 00:35:42 Speaker 2: I think i think i love The idea that asking for directions is actually upholding like oral histories. Exactly. Exactly. 00:35:49 Speaker 3: It is. 00:35:50 Speaker 1: It's like, it's giving like storytelling by the fire. It is, you know, Aesop's fables. 00:35:56 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:35:56 Speaker 1: It's myth building. It's like myth building. It's the Agora. It's Socrates. It is native traditions. 00:36:05 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:36:06 Speaker 2: Because you. 00:36:06 Speaker 3: Robert Frost. Thank you. Yes. 00:36:10 Speaker 2: Sure, it's a literary tradition as well. Well, it's also like when someone says like, okay, so you're going to go for like a mile or two and then there's going to be a big tree that you're going to turn left at. And then like you'll pass a pond. Like I'm like, okay, you're painting me a picture. Like this, I can see so much more clearly than like looking at a topographical map. I look at that and I see nothing. Yeah. 00:36:38 Speaker 3: They're going to be like, you're going to feel the rain on your skin that no one else can feel for you. And only you can. 00:36:45 Speaker 2: Let it in. Only you can let it in. 00:36:48 Speaker 1: You know, that should be a sort of a movement of like more human centered directions where they like take detours. There's poeticism in them. You're like, well, there you're going to want to, you're going to be tempted to think about your grandfather. Turn left. 00:37:07 Speaker 3: I mean, that would be unmistakable. 00:37:09 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:37:10 Speaker 3: Yeah. Whereas a compass, I feel like I don't even understand how a compass works or like, I think it. 00:37:19 Speaker 1: Moves when I do. 00:37:20 Speaker 2: Don't get me started. Exactly. It's also like, okay, so I know where North is like, cool. Like that doesn't help. 00:37:28 Speaker 3: North is whichever way I'm facing. 00:37:31 Speaker 1: Yeah. Don't even get me started on magnets. 00:37:34 Speaker 2: Oh my God. Oh my God. 00:37:37 Speaker 1: I'm like, just this, it's like, this is not, this is fake. And you can't convince me that it's, like, some higher, like, the Earth is a magnet? I don't think so. Magnets are what's on my fridge. 00:37:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean, that's quite literally insane. And it's just like, I'm not gonna, you know, I heard that dogs, like, pick where they are gonna, like, poop and pee based on, like, magnetic fields. And I'm like, I can't be having that in my life. 00:37:59 Speaker 1: Now that's interesting. 00:38:00 Speaker 3: They're like Marianne Williamson in that way. 00:38:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. 00:38:05 Speaker 1: Exactly. 00:38:07 Speaker 3: Wait, are compasses magnets? 00:38:09 Speaker 1: I feel like they are. 00:38:10 Speaker 2: Well, they're certainly using them. 00:38:11 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're using them. The compasses themselves are not a magnet. It's all using a magnet, no? Am I crazy? 00:38:18 Speaker 3: No, you're right. There's like smoke coming out of my head right now trying to understand this. 00:38:26 Speaker 2: Okay, wait. Okay, I have two more map things. The first one is maybe too obvious, but maps as decor is like I think a quintessential straight thing. because it's like it's sort of we've done like movie posters as decor and like this one is also like i want something on the wall of course but i cannot imply that i'm. 00:38:48 Speaker 1: Gay well i want something on the wall comma no homo and then suddenly you end up with a pulp fiction poster and a map of denver. 00:38:59 Speaker 2: But at the same time, and this is sort of a cold cut situation where I do see myself in it. I'd rather have a map of New York City than a print that I don't know anything about. So I'm kind of torn on it. 00:39:11 Speaker 3: I think it depends heavily on the map. 00:39:14 Speaker 1: Maps do come in. 00:39:15 Speaker 3: They're like fonts. They come in every shape and style. So if you have a New York City map where the neighborhoods are drawn in like Home Depot font, where it's like spray painted block letters, Hell's Kitchen, etc. That map is hiding something or you're hiding something about yourself in

that map. Wow. 00:39:42 Speaker 2: I would love. 00:39:42 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:39:43 Speaker 2: This is my genius. My new Etsy idea. is it's going to be like a map of Brooklyn and then like where instead of like all the neighborhoods are going to be labeled what they are. But then instead of Bushwick, it's just going to say home. And it's going to have like a little heart on it. Okay. Wait, this is so genius. 00:40:07 Speaker 1: That is literally genius. And then you can order it like custom and it's like wherever your home is, it says home. 00:40:12 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:40:13 Speaker 1: And then actually, you know, I hate to be so business minded and entrepreneurial, but you can take it a step further and have other parts of your life be also labeled. So it's a map and then it's like home. But then where you where your sister lives, it's like Marcy. 00:40:31 Speaker 2: And then I'm dying at the idea of having like a Brooklyn using like like like cheesy Midwestern like home aesthetics. But for like a Brooklyn thing is like killing me. I love that so much. I don't know why I'm so giggly today. It's kind of insane. 00:40:49 Speaker 3: No, I have it too. 00:40:50 Speaker 1: So then I want to know, Emmy, like if the one end of the spectrum is like Home Depot font Brooklyn map, like that is artless. It is basic. It is like, you know, just moved here to go to NYU. Then what is the other end of that spectrum? What is like, what is Deborah Eisenberg's map that she has framed in her apartment? 00:41:11 Speaker 3: More like, who is Deborah Eisenberg? 00:41:15 Speaker 2: Thank you for asking the tough questions. I have no idea who that is. 00:41:19 Speaker 1: Think like a quintessential sophisticated New Yorker. 00:41:23 Speaker 2: George, you can't just say any woman's name and make it sort of Jewish and be like, you don't know the most famous New Yorker? Is that your doctor or something? 00:41:32 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:41:32 Speaker 2: Okay, fine. She's my analyst. You know, Deborah Eisenberg. No, George, that's your best friend. We don't know her. 00:41:41 Speaker 1: You guys know Deb. 00:41:42 Speaker 2: Y'all know Deb. 00:41:43 Speaker 3: See, I feel like they do have, I have a vision of somewhere on Madison Avenue, a store that's just called Old Maps. And it's like, it has like a, it has more of a, how do I describe the vibe? More of like a, like British-y, tea time-y vibe. old antique maps and they're expensive as hell and they come in like gilded like frames that have like swoops and loops in them and I guess that's the tasteful version but I'm not even. 00:42:16 Speaker 1: Sure I'm not even sure I like that yeah I'm trying to think like if I were to if someone was had a gun to my head and I'm saying this not to promote gun violence but just as a metaphor and they were like you have to purchase a map to have as decor in your home Otherwise it's over for you. 00:42:34 Speaker 3: Sweet. Frame a map, George. 00:42:38 Speaker 1: What would I guess, you know,

I think maybe something you have a personal connection to, but that's not your current home. So not Bushwick. But if I had like an old map of like my grandfather's like, you know, town in Greece where he grew up and, you know, and it was like a vintage map from when he was a child. 00:42:57 Speaker 2: Okay. But what if it had to be a New York map? Okay. 00:42:59 Speaker 1: If it had to be a New York map, that's a great question. I think... Again, I would try to... So this is like a stretch, obviously, but I would try to find some personal connection where it's like maybe I would go to like the Tenement Museum and find like a map of Greek immigrants. I'm really like holding on to like some sort of personal connection that would make it like either connected to like my family or my heritage or like, you know, my current life because... You know, because I think the opposite of the Home Depot font is something that is like, that only you can appreciate. 00:43:38 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. So mine would be, it would be sort of West Side Story themed map about, you know, and it would map out like where the sharks live versus where the jets live. And that would be my New York City map. Oh, wait, mine would be Sex in the City. 00:44:00 Speaker 1: Locations. I'm changing my answer officially, and it's Sex in the City Locations. 00:44:05 Speaker 2: Oh, my God. The thing is that actually would be... The bus tour room? 00:44:08 Speaker 3: Holy shit. 00:44:08 Speaker 2: The bus tour room? 00:44:09 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:44:09 Speaker 2: If that were in your bathroom, I would be like, George, you're a genius. Like, that would actually be incredible decor. 00:44:14 Speaker 1: And I'm actually really disappointed in myself for going serious rather than going camp, and that I was not staying true to myself in that moment when I was, like, looking for a way to honor my heritage. I think what I do need to honor is Sarah Jessica Parker and the original Sex in the City. 00:44:28 Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Yeah. I think you want like the street corner where what's the episode? It's like in the meatpacking district when like Samantha gets into a fight with a drag queen. 00:44:39 Speaker 2: Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 00:44:40 Speaker 1: Literally the single most problematic episode of Sex and the City. 00:44:44 Speaker 3: I think you have to pinpoint that block on the map. Like the cupcake, like the bed club. And then. 00:44:52 Speaker 2: Oh, God. 00:44:54 Speaker 1: Oh, my God. The bed club, the way I thought, I was like, that is what it will be like when I'm cool and living in New York. I will go to a club where there are beds. 00:45:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I also had a weird attraction to that concept for nightlife. 00:45:09 Speaker 2: Yeah. It's a very childish way to look at nightlife in a fun way. 00:45:15 Speaker 1: Well, they're all, I mean, I always think about this. Melissa Rich had, like, she wrote a review of In Just Like That, and she had a line that was like, talking about the original Sex and the City, and she described all of them as walking around New York like they just got let out for recess. And I thought that was, like, such a perfect encapsulation of how these, like, 40-year-old women were acting, like, roaming around Manhattan. 00:45:38 Speaker 2: Yeah. That is very true. 00:45:39 Speaker 1: Okay, I have another sort of element of maps that I would like to address, which is the treasure map. And I'm, like, pirate, pirates, treasure hunting... explorers like going back to Columbus like there is a sort of settlers of Catan. 00:46:01 Speaker 3: Vibe I mean you gotta love a map where everything is just totally fucking wrong too which is what a lot of those are where they draw like a cursive Z and they're like this is South America and you're like oh no they're like here's Massachusetts and it's huge like those at least are you know like Like, nice little exercises in hubris, geographic. 00:46:27 Speaker 1: Yeah, of course. 00:46:28 Speaker 2: I think the treasure map is, like, maybe the most, like, closest to a queer map. I agree. Because that is, like, you will just have, like, a picture of a palm tree and, like, a cluster of, like, monkeys drawn. And it's, like, you're supposed to, and there's, like, a line that goes around that. And you're, like, this is symbolic. And when I see it, I'll know it. But I won't know it until I see it. It's not supposed to be taken literally. It's supposed to be like interpreted. 00:46:53 Speaker 1: Yeah. And, you know, no matter what we think of Johnny Depp now, when he was Captain Jack Sparrow, he was serving Patty Fish. He was rocking that eyeliner. And he, I would have followed him on his treasure hunt. 00:47:06 Speaker 3: Yeah. There's something also about like, yeah, dotted line, two X marks the spot. Like the subtext is, please tiptoe the whole time. Yes. They don't say it, but you feel it. 00:47:18 Speaker 2: You feel it. Oh, God. Yeah. Gold? It's always gold, right? Gold. It's not just gold. It's always gold and weird necklaces and a crown. There is always a dress-up element to finding the treasure, which people don't talk about the dress-up element. Because you are like, oh, look at all these riches. And literally someone's putting on a crown and someone else has a bunch of jewels. And it's like, Steve, that's drag. 00:47:47 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. They're like, look, I found these high heels also. And these panties kind of fit me. 00:47:54 Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I would love a drag race challenge that is a treasure hunt. Doesn't that sound like something that would. 00:48:00 Speaker 2: Be really good? You're literally a producer now. Okay, wow. 00:48:04 Speaker 1: I'm getting an executive producer credit. 00:48:07 Speaker 2: It's so unfortunate whenever you find the treasure and you're doing the dress up portion and then like, somebody in your party like steps on the trap that opens the door when the like big monster comes in like it's like just

let me dress up in peace. 00:48:20 Speaker 3: Yeah no it was fun until you had to run from like crocodiles yeah yeah it's true atlantis feels like a map. 00:48:28 Speaker 1: Destination i agree what the hell is up with atlantis. 00:48:33 Speaker 3: My knowledge of atlantis really starts and ends with the alton twins film. 00:48:37 Speaker 1: Yeah yes oh my god Emmy. So formative. 00:48:40 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:48:42 Speaker 1: I was like, when I saw that, I was like, well, that's where we have to go on our next family vacation. I will literally not go to college. If that's what it takes to pay for it. 00:48:50 Speaker 3: Like, I just need a dolphin to like me. 00:48:54 Speaker 2: More than anything. 00:48:54 Speaker 1: Yes. Well, the other thing with, the thing with Atlantis, as in like the lost city of Atlantis, is it's one of those things where you're like, so is someone going to tell me if this is real or not? 00:49:03 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for saying that because I was like, it's so Sam to say that. And I was like, I can't be that dumb, but I am like, So wait, why do we all have this? Is it... Yeah. 00:49:11 Speaker 1: It's like a mass delusion. 00:49:13 Speaker 2: Like it's not real right like okay well also. 00:49:19 Speaker 1: Then i feel like when i was young and i found out about atlantis resort i was like oh like did they find the lost city and then like renovate it. 00:49:26 Speaker 2: I'm also like, the Lost City of Atlantis, I'm like, it sounds so real. Like, it, like, makes sense. Like, it's like, sure, I bet there was a city that's now underwater on accident. Like, of course. 00:49:34 Speaker 3: They're like, we preserved the original mini golf course from the Lost City of Atlantis. 00:49:43 Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Okay, one more thing, I think, is, like, in the beginning of a fantasy book, the map is there. And that is, like... actually a very straight one to me where it's like you're literally making up a world and a book and like new characters and you like have to make it super literal like it's like why do you have to make the map so real like i'm just imagining all of this stuff and they're like no it's actually 200 miles from there to there it's like. 00:50:11 Speaker 1: Wait sam do you feel like as a super fan of lord of the rings do you is that something that comes up in lord of the rings. 00:50:16 Speaker 2: A lot well they're like i feel like all those books have the map at the beginning and it's like this is the map of middle earth and you're like like I actually ignore it because I'm like, like, there's a part of me that wants to look at it and be like, oh, this will help me understand like the distance. And I'm like, no, I understand because the words tell me how tired they are or how many days it takes or whatever the fuck. Actually, yes. 00:50:39 Speaker 1: And it's also because you have an imagination. It's actually very like, it really brings you down to earth in a bad way where you're like, let me enjoy this fantasy. 00:50:46 Speaker 2: I don't. 00:50:47 Speaker 1: Why are you trying to put this on a map, which is a human creation? I mean, we're talking hobbits here. Cate Blanchett is literally glowing from her skin, and you want me to look at a map as though we're looking up directions to go to brunch? 00:51:00 Speaker 2: It's so messed up. Let me believe. Let me believe in magic. 00:51:05 Speaker 3: I didn't know you were a Lord of the Rings guy. I'm sorry. 00:51:07 Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. No, no, no. 00:51:09 Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. 00:51:10 Speaker 1: Emmy, are you? 00:51:11 Speaker 2: No. 00:51:12 Speaker 3: It just feels like a little bit of a curveball for Sam. 00:51:16 Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. 00:51:19 Speaker 1: It's really one of his defining, it's one of the things I learned early on doing this podcast with him, because it was a reference point that kept coming up. And in fact, in terms of, I would say like queer, early queer texts that were influential in his life, it was like Frodo and Samwise having a homoerotic energy. 00:51:36 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was obsessed with it. And still am, honestly. It's, it gets me, you know. I've read like Sam and Frodo fanfic before, and I was like, you know, this is hot. And heartwarming. Wow. 00:51:50 Speaker 1: It's very sweet. That's great. Emi, my final question for you is the following. It is the question, globes? 00:51:59 Speaker 3: Globes. Yes. 00:52:02 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:52:03 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:52:04 Speaker 1: I think I agree. Yeah. 00:52:06 Speaker 3: I definitely would like to know your general instinct on globes as well. 00:52:11 Speaker 1: I love a globe. I prefer a globe to a map. 00:52:15 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:52:15 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:52:16 Speaker 1: Because it can be, it's like, just let it be an art piece. Let's like appreciate the earth and not try to get from point A to point B. Just meditate on the vastness of human existence. 00:52:30 Speaker 2: Yeah. I actually think a globe is a sleigh. Okay. 00:52:34 Speaker 3: It's a tastefully anti-flat earther object. 00:52:38 Speaker 2: 100%. 00:52:39 Speaker 1: Exactly. And you know what? In that sense, it is nodding to science. Without fetishizing it. It's like, yes, this is what the world looks like, but there isn't like a fucking, you know, key and a compass and just like enjoy it for what it is. And guess what? It's more accurate than a map too. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. 00:52:58 Speaker 2: Also, there's something so novel about just like having a spherical object in your home. Like it's like- 100%. Yes. Because it's like, we've seen things hang on the wall. Like we've seen like things be framed, but a sphere- Just sort of displayed? Now that's something new. 00:53:15 Speaker 1: And it really is its own thing because you wouldn't call it, even though it's three-dimensional, you wouldn't call it a sculpture. 00:53:19 Speaker 2: God, no. 00:53:20 Speaker 1: So it's not wall art. It's not a sculpture. It's also sort of halfway between an art

piece and a functional thing. You can sort of pretend that you're using it for something. I mean, you're like, oh, look, there's Nepal. 00:53:32 Speaker 3: Right. And you know, if you really want to bring the whole thing home, you keep a magnifying glass nearby or like you pretend like you're going to pick your vacation destination with the globe. 00:53:43 Speaker 2: Yes. 00:53:43 Speaker 3: What says spontaneity more than putting your finger on a spinning globe? 00:53:49 Speaker 1: Oh, next thing you know, you're in Slovenia. 00:53:55 Speaker 3: Gorgeous. 00:53:56 Speaker 2: No, that gorgeous. That is fully the fantasy to spin the globe and, Stop it at a point and be like, that's where we're going. That's true recklessness. Only then will I be fully free when I can do that. 00:54:10 Speaker 3: God. 00:54:11 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:54:15 Speaker 1: I gotta say, this episode is... This episode really gave me everything I needed today. 00:54:23 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:54:24 Speaker 1: I feel like we... It was like every part of it, every chapter of it, from the intro to the introductory banter to straight shooters to introducing the topic to fully analyzing the topic in an academic way, in a way that could potentially be in the running for a Peabody, is like everything I want this podcast to be. And I am invigorated to spend the rest of my Sunday not watching football. 00:54:49 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:54:50 Speaker 2: And I actually think that one day in our beautiful utopian future... the Peabody Awards will have as much fun implications as the Super Bowl. 00:55:02 Speaker 1: Yeah, why doesn't everyone get their family together and get some jalapeno poppers and watch the Peabody ceremony? 00:55:09 Speaker 3: Spoken word journalism deserves more! 00:55:12 Speaker 1: Yes, thank you. 00:55:14 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, should we do our final segment then? We can. 00:55:21 Speaker 1: Sorry, I didn't mean to cut everyone off. 00:55:23 Speaker 2: No, I mean. We don't have to. 00:55:24 Speaker 1: Honey, I got all day. As mentioned, I'm not going to be preparing for any Super Bowl event. 00:55:29 Speaker 2: I mean, good luck getting back into it when you've brought the conversation to a screeching halt, George. 00:55:35 Speaker 3: I know. 00:55:36 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If only I had a map for how to get out of this. Fine. 00:55:40 Speaker 2: Oh, brother. Oh, brother. I say let's do it. 00:55:45 Speaker 1: Okay, let's do our final segment. Sam, would you like to introduce it? 00:55:48 Speaker 4: Sure. 00:55:49 Speaker 2: Emmy, our final segment is called Shoutouts, and we pay homage to the great straight tradition of the radio shoutout by shouting out to anything that we are enjoying at all. So imagine it's 2001, you're at TRL, and you're shouting out to your squad back home about anything that you like, and we will go first. George, do you have one? I do. 00:56:06 Speaker 1: Would you like me to go? 00:56:08 Speaker 2: Yes, please. 00:56:08 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:56:09 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:56:10 Speaker 1: What's up, Brooklyn? Everyone from Bushwick all the way to Brooklyn Heights. And I'll say it, even anyone outside the borough of Brooklyn. We're talking Queens. We're talking the Bronx. We're talking Manhattan. We're talking New York State, baby. Boat blue no matter who. I want to give a quick shout out to mini golf, which is an activity I, you'll never believe this, had never done in my absolute life until this weekend. It was my first time ever holding a golf, a mini golf club. I don't know if they're different than a normal golf club because I certainly have not been on an actual golf course. They let me choose the color of my golf ball. I chose a beautiful royal blue. It was a deep royal. I would, I think it would look really, you could dress it up, dress it down, would look really great in a suit or in a sort of cool punk rock outfit. And then I was afraid that I was not going to be good at it because of course I didn't have the experience. When I tell you, I sort of slayed the house down all day and everyone was impressed with me. And I went out being like, you know what? Maybe mini golf is now in my repertoire as high up in my estimation as my favorite activity, bowling. So my 30s in the city of New York are all about discovering all the suburban stuff that I was deprived of as a kid. And I am ready to play mini golf. I am ready to go to the arcade. I am ready to go bowling. And I am ready to have one of those pizzas where the crust has little mozzarella sticks on it. So I'll see you out on the field. 00:57:35 Speaker 2: Wow, that was so, so powerful and beautiful. 00:57:38 Speaker 1: Thank you. 00:57:39 Speaker 2: I love mini golf. I can't believe this is your first time playing it. 00:57:41 Speaker 1: I know, it was my first time. Really, I have to say, no offense to this Red Hook venue, which treated us so well. And actually, they had sort of just installed this almost laser tag-esque game and gave us a free go-ahead at it because we were being so loud and drunk that they kind of wanted to put us in a silent room. But they treated us so well. but it was really like a warehouse that they put stuff in. I mean, there's something very, I hate to use this term because it's overused. There's something very liminal space about it. Like it really was like an unmarked warehouse. You go in and it's all just in an empty room. You don't even get like the charm of suburbia or even the charm of like a venture capital funded Williamsburg space. Like it really was in the middle of nowhere. We could have been kidnapped, but I had a great time. 00:58:30 Speaker 2: Well, that's lovely. Um, okay. Okay. Let me think. I think I have one. Not really. Well, let's try it. What's up, everybody out there in the world from, um... Cali all the way to the East Coast. I want to give a huge shout out to that feeling when like you're sick of all the music you've ever heard. And you're like, like you're in

this place where you're like, I know I need something new. And I don't know why my capacity, like why now I'm bored of everything, but it's like a very, it's a very wintery feeling that I get I guess once a year where I'm like no I just need someone on earth to put out an album that I can obsess over and that is sort of where I'm at right now and it's a space that is it's a wanting feeling That is not normally what you would want to shout out on this podcast, but it is a real feeling and we need to acknowledge it. So I am currently open to new music and I am listening to stuff and I'm trying new stuff and I'm saying, no, that's not right. No, that's not exactly what I need, but I'm going to keep trying and it's a good place because I'm learning so much about these up and coming girls. And there are so many musics out there and I love all of them. So shout out to Waiting for New Music and I cannot wait to get obsessed with something soon. XOXO, Sam. 00:59:55 Speaker 1: Wait, Sam. 00:59:55 Speaker 3: Sam, that was incredible. I'm sorry. 00:59:57 Speaker 2: That was really good. 00:59:59 Speaker 3: I feel that really hard. 01:00:01 Speaker 2: It's such a, yeah. 01:00:02 Speaker 1: Sam, have you not become obsessed with the new Kalela? 01:00:05 Speaker 2: I've only listened to it once and I liked it, but I haven't like gotten fully in yet. 01:00:10 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:00:11 Speaker 1: I say give it a few more listens because I really like, It really invigorated me. And it's like, it almost feels like the indie version of Renaissance or something. Like there's something about like putting it on from beginning to end and just letting it sort of wash over you. And it, I, she's really like leaning into techno. Like, I don't know. There's something very fun about it. 01:00:34 Speaker 2: Well done. I'll do it. 01:00:35 Speaker 3: And this is Kalele, you said? 01:00:37 Speaker 1: Kalele, K-E-L-E-L-A. Yeah. 01:00:40 Speaker 3: I have to check this one out. 01:00:41 Speaker 1: Oh my God, Emi, I'm telling you. I have been really, really on that train since like 2013. And when I tell you, she delivers every time. 01:00:50 Speaker 2: Huge. Well, I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm excited. Okay. Emi, whenever you are ready. 01:00:56 Speaker 3: I do just want to ask before we move on, what was the last album or artist that made you feel engrossed and satisfied? 01:01:04 Speaker 2: Okay, that's a great question. Let's see. I feel like the last. 01:01:10 Speaker 3: It's okay if you say Chromatica, at least. 01:01:12 Speaker 1: It's okay. 01:01:13 Speaker 2: Well, I... Okay. I... The thing is, there's a lot that I'm liking, but nothing that I'm, like, completely freaking for. And, like, so, like, the Caroline Polachek, like, I like her a lot. And she's, like, that album is coming out. And so there's, like, the five songs from it. And I just listened to them, like, over and over and over. And to the point where I'm, like, oh, now I'm not excited for the album because I've listened to this too much. Yeah. Yeah. 01:01:36 Speaker 3: I did this with those. 01:01:39 Speaker 2: Like, Welcome to My Island is such a slay. 01:01:41 Speaker 1: Oh, Bunny is a Writer, yeah. 01:01:43 Speaker 2: And I've ruined billions. Like, I'm like, I need to stop listening to this so I can enjoy it when it actually comes out. 01:01:49 Speaker 1: Wait, Sam, you just got into Ethel Kane. 01:01:51 Speaker 2: I just got into Ethel Kane, but it's too moody sometimes. Like, the song American Teenager is so slay, but then sometimes I'm just like, okay, this is beyond moody. 01:02:01 Speaker 1: What about the SZA album? Do you feel like it's now been long enough that you're not constantly listening to it? 01:02:06 Speaker 2: It's been long enough that I'm not constantly listening to it. I look back on it fondly, but it also overwhelms me because it's so long. 01:02:13 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:02:14 Speaker 2: No, it's true. 01:02:14 Speaker 3: What about the Deborah Eisenberg LP? 01:02:17 Speaker 1: Yeah, what about Deborah's new album? 01:02:19 Speaker 2: You know, I found that to be really, really inspiring, actually. 01:02:23 Speaker 1: She's experimenting with club beats in a way that she hasn't done before. 01:02:28 Speaker 2: Yeah, I liked the sort of 70s disco vibe that she was doing. It was very Jessie Ware. Exactly. 01:02:33 Speaker 1: It was very Jessie Ware. Wait, isn't there a new Jessie Ware album? It's coming out in like a month or two or something. Oh, it's coming out in a month or two. 01:02:40 Speaker 2: I think I'm going to have an incredible spring and summer, of course. But right now, I'm suffering. 01:02:47 Speaker 1: Interesting. 01:02:47 Speaker 3: Well, give it up for Sam's musical desert. 01:02:54 Speaker 2: Okay, now for real. I mean, whenever you are ready. 01:02:56 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay. What's up to all the girls on my... JV lacrosse team, go Lions. I'm here representing for the fact that any croissant can be warmed up and then be good. Because a lot of croissants are bad at room temp, but most of them, given a moment on a nonstick pan or in the microwave, can really shine. 01:03:25 Speaker 2: Wow, that is so helpful to know, actually. That is huge. 01:03:28 Speaker 1: That's almost like a kid's book. 01:03:31 Speaker 2: Like there's something so like inspiring where it's like, you're not bad. You just need to be microwaved. 01:03:36 Speaker 1: Oh my God. 01:03:37 Speaker 3: Because it's hard to find a good croissant anywhere. And I had just not been eating them because I was like, I'm not going to have a C plus croissant. They're not like, it's got to be great. And then I learned that you can warm up a C plus to an A minus. 01:03:55 Speaker 1: It really is crazy how this is, You know, this is one of my catchphrases that I tell all my mentees and it's the following. It's all about butter. It's just like that is all you need to do is like melt that butter out and then just like bite into something that's mostly butter and you'll be happy. 01:04:15 Speaker 2: Melt that butter out, mama. 01:04:18 Speaker 1: God, when that when there was a new croissant place that opened by my apartment that like got written up and then like had lines going around the block. And the way that was invigorating for me for a full like two months, just knowing that was there and occasionally going. God, I love New York. 01:04:33 Speaker 2: God, I love New York. 01:04:34 Speaker 3: I love it. 01:04:36 Speaker 2: Well, I guess that's our episode. Emi, thanks so much for doing the podcast. It was a delight. 01:04:42 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me. I've sweated from giggling so much. 01:04:47 Speaker 2: I know, like my nose is running from giggling. 01:04:50 Speaker 1: It really was an especially giggly episode. You were such an incredible guest. And we are so happy you made the time. 01:04:57 Speaker 3: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I will come back to discuss cold cuts or whatever subject you want anytime. 01:05:05 Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely. All right. Well, everyone, go out there and don't read a map. 01:05:12 Speaker 2: Bye. Bye. 01:05:23 Speaker 3: Like on my favorite things, if you want. 01:05:26 Speaker 1: Totally. 01:05:28 Speaker 2: Wow, that's actually genius. 01:05:32 Speaker 3: I have to check this one out. 01:05:35 Speaker 2: Well, I can't wait. I'm excited. 01:05:41 Speaker 3: I do really love cold cuts and two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. Dick's Sporting Goods and tailgating. L.L. Bean, waiting your turn. Instructions. My favorite things. I do really love venture capital athleisure brands and skiing the three-city run of Cancun, Boston, Philadelphia. American Eagle Outfitters. Maps, directions, true religion genes. My favorite things. 01:06:15 Speaker 2: Podcast ends now. 01:06:16 Speaker 1: For our visual learners, you can watch full video episodes on our YouTube channel. 01:06:21 Speaker 2: And subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. 01:06:24 Speaker 1: At patreon.com slash StradioLab. 01:06:27 Speaker 2: StradioLab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. 01:06:31 Speaker 1: Created and hosted by me, George Severus, and Sam Taggart. 01:06:34 Speaker 2: Executive produced by Jenna Cagle. Co-produced by Becca Ramos. 01:06:37 Speaker 1: Edited by Lauren Stumpf and mixed and mastered by Doug Bain. 01:06:41 Speaker 2: Artwork by Michael Fales and Matt Grubb. Theme music by Ben Kling.