ABOUT THIS EPISODE

FUN WITH BRAINWASHING! Meet Miss Holly, a kinky pioneer using clicker training for sexual happiness. Turns out methods used to train dogs, parrots and dolphins can help humans develop deeper, happier relationships.
TOPICS: Consensual brainwashing, Chris Pratt in Jurassic World, people-pleasers, pleasure, brain chemicals, dog vs human training, Dom/sub relationship training, domestication fetish, "positive punishment" vs "positive reinforcement" vs "negative punishment" vs "negative reinforcement," sex magic, ASMR whisper tingles, triad polyamory, kinky marriage, oral sex communication, dangers, and achieving goals. PLUS training concepts like triggers, cold shaping, marks, rewards, the 3 fail rule and coming on command.
English
United States

IN THIS EPISODE

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:01now entering nerdist.com hello Freaky Deaky is it is sex nerd Sandra on the podcast with the same name and this week oh my goodness are you curious do you want more knowledge what this is the episode for you someone who has Knowledge and Skills and innovation in an area that I did
00:00:33outside the new to be reality and my goodness today is no exception to that wonderment okay so I interviewed someone named Miss Holly I mean in the episode you'll hear about how I found her and stuff but I just wanted to make sure you know that we're about to talk about
00:01:00it's like How to Train Your Dragon before humans but we also talked about dragon training this might seem a bit off the wall but oh my God it's fascinating the first half were talking about the ideas around using clicker training for Dom sub relationships or just general relationships the second half of this episode will be focused on tangible how to do is around clicker training so just FYI if you want to skip her at that and so all this week I've been thinking about last week's episode on consent Yes means yes with Jaclyn Friedman
00:01:54is a few things I just need to process for a second that the concept of there so many good Concepts and then in that she provides but there's one violating your own boundaries I didn't even know that was a sad but it's something that I've struggled with for a long time because sometimes I don't hear myself I don't respect myself and I will go ahead and do something that I don't want to do when everyone around me would respect me if I spoke up for my boundaries and I just don't give myself that space so that was very helpful and listening back it solidified that concept for myself I don't know what did you think of what did you take away from that episode that was something for me
00:02:44yeah what else what else what else I told you about the dragon and stuff and so recently I had a casual sex for experience now I use the Casual Sex concept lightly basically with someone that I didn't know that well and I ended up Catching Feelings now I don't know if you listen to the episode of while ago called crazy love with Cara Santa Maria but it was all about I called all my friend Cara to talk about the Neuroscience of love because I had had a the free sexual encounter that left me hungry and maddeningly in love with this person for days and days after the experience and I was jonesing I was really going through withdrawals and recently I had a similar experience
00:03:42and I I remembered from the last time this happened several years ago that it would take me 3 days to purge the aggressive feeling I met my soulmate I need to see them again I was desperate for love and attention from them a deal all that crazy like I said crazy like the high be absolute high and reality Distortion field of those chemicals and and that flushed emotion so I knew it would take about 3 days and sure enough about two and a half days in I started feeling a little bit little more mellow about it less immediate need it didn't need to pick up my phone in and try and text him or something so I was patient with the saying that I acknowledge in this took me back to the interview I had with dr. Lisa Wade around
00:04:42culture wear in case you listen to that episode it was she had a great point about how casual sex can be kind and and can be healthy the the issue often times is that we as a society or talk to Value masculine traits over feminine traits and what's considered a masculine trait is to not be emotionally attached to someone now it goes a lot deeper than that but I was laughing at myself and just hitting my head against the wall because I was having the feelings of attachment was totally aware that that it was a natural face for me and how I am sometimes after a casual sexual casual sex encounter and at the same time shaming myself going
00:05:39you're being an idiot you need to not care about this person you need to not want this because I felt that that was the correct way to have a
00:05:52what would you call a tryst a midnight zone title euphemisms whatever
00:06:02yeah it's it's it's been several more days and I'm I'm doing better but I am fascinated at how much I changed myself just for having feelings for someone which is Perfectly Natural for some people to have so anyway moving on this is a more Kink Focus episode whether or not you're into this sort of thing I just think it's really interesting psychological e sensually whimsically and by golly I learned a lot so enjoy go team fun and high five yeah
00:06:47what are the kids doing here
00:06:59now that we're alone what start the show
00:07:10Miss Holly hello of the Eagle Rock coming home I know I'm excited even though now you know the true nature of my my life. It's quaint and for just covered in lots of confusing detail so many dildos yeah did you see that one over there yeah I like the like alien tentacle one though it's really entertaining though it's just a tentacle Hollywood you think about what you think about are you sure you didn't get it from that website Bad Dragon exactly where I got it or whatever
00:08:06I thought I was hiding in plain sight so it happens when you invite people into your house
00:08:16yeah I know I'm really glad that you have time to hang out cuz I loved attending your class at domcon this year you know string the class was called clicker training clicker training and click happy
00:08:39it was the end of the day a lot of classes and I dragged my partner-in-crime into that class I was so glad it cuz you were just Whimsy and eat or just truly thrilled with the stuff that they're kind of hanging and you seemed really excited about it I am really excited about it it's super sexy I mean super sexy super sexy
00:09:10if your brain is your biggest sex organ the clicker is like a vibrating dildo for your brain
00:09:21Okay let's let's back up here or what is clicker training in a nutshell. She'll all right so when we're training we are modifying Behavior rewarding
00:09:38positive behavior
00:09:41so that means he's in the clicker to click into Mark those moments the instant when someone has been a correct Behavior back up again because the someone is a submissive in this case because this is a submissive dominant
00:10:02sexual type of behavior modification for training classes yeah this is originally trained dogs the technique for train dogs world it is a technique for training parrots you can go on YouTube and find parrots in Jurassic Park not so much oh my gosh that was totally wrong really Chris Pratt I love him to death but now that was wrong, I was literally like my husband
00:11:02pussy grinding up oh my gosh
00:11:08Okay so
00:11:10the way I understand it is that you click and I happen to have one from my my dog training days that I've hidden from myself and so it's like if I go sit and he sits and make that sound okay and and he's really good with her like I don't know I just the clicker wasn't our thing for the dog right it was fine but but now when you train the dog there's an additional step because when the dog sits and you make the clicker sound then you immediately give the dog a treat dogs The Click marks the behavioral you want and it gives you an additional couple of seconds to grab that treat out of your pouch and shove it in their face right we don't have to do this with people
00:12:06is people are easier to train than dogs it turns out
00:12:11and that's really fucked up dude you just are you just like dripping with with powers are just about the day like haha I don't know maybe you guys at the DMV yeah I mean it is a dangerous when you are brainwashing people in the world of BDSM we have a very important word called consent works best really when you have consent from the person whose Behavior modifying because then their treat is that they get this rush in their brain because they know that they did something right so it's kind of hard to do with someone who doesn't want it right so for the person that really wants it then they're having a more pleasurable experience right stimulating experience so people who are submissive and when I think of
00:13:11I think I've taken off and enjoy when their partner or Dom is pleased yes and I hear that sound they get a rush of yeah I did a good job and especially if they're service-oriented so yeah if they're a pleaser cuz there are different types of submissives but that pleaser type
00:13:37you know whatever the pants optional Zone you know the gods for that
00:13:46but the clicker works on All Humans it just works best on those submissive and service submissive humans because they're seeking approval they're seeking that
00:14:04so really I mean it's now I remember in your class and I highly recommend if you're in the LA area taking a click happy class from is Holly cuz she's fantastic
00:14:16is it that the click is extra pleasurable cuz it sounds like the breaking of Bones it does so it triggers the Deep part of our brain the amygdala that lizard part what's interesting is in a lot of a place where you can train a fear response but the other thing is that you can also train pleasure response and so we had when you hear that click sound there is the Deep Primal part of yourself that is very satisfying because it's like phone snapping which is a sound that most humans
00:15:01get off on whether you know it or not so I know that the part of why the clicker is out full with dogs or humans is because you can press it faster than you can take the shop right like you can just click click all day long could you do something different instead of you click and you make a salad it like it's a really nice smell of person likes like fresh baked cookies hits gives power to like a prostate massager to go somewhere around when they do something good
00:15:35the speed in which this click sound goes into your brain
00:15:41is the fastest okay what that you can get smell takes longer touch does work but yeah I mean unless you're doing like genital stimulation to flip side of it is if you had something like an e-collar or something that delivered a painful
00:16:01stimulation that would be kind of the flip side of positive reinforcement that would be negative that's like old-school dog training stuff for reasons to punish dogs doing bad things but now or tomorrow about positive reinforcement right although if we're going to get nerdy and Technical if you shock the dog or the person I prefer to talk about people but some people love puppy play and so they like me and thought of like a dog but for the other people that like kind of creeped him out so you know I try to gauge like when I'm working with a class sometimes I work with all puppy play for all pony the whole new layer really like the dog and allergies but people like to stay in the human Rome I see cuz they're thinking about stuff
00:17:01I'm a bit of a puppy but it's more of a playful things so I still don't cross those into I think like when I interview when I host when I teach I'm not in boner mode so it doesn't occur to me a lot of this clicker training for people
00:17:23well it can be sexual what I'm finding is that couples are coming to me because they want their relationship to defend or they want their lives to improve so it's not necessarily that boners all the time it's like how do we live better together in a dominant-submissive relationship so that's kind of fun and I mean I think that's over all sexy but I have a domestication fetish so like I want my domestic life to be very sexy I'm fascinated by that please any references or examples in this talk about to reference your domestication fetish please do that not that interesting in terms of my story cuz I find sex to be such a
00:18:17coursing the courts human need that on my cuz I'm a human but when I told you that I don't tend to ask a question you were like oh there's some juice there and so now I'm asking you like how I got into
00:18:36it doesn't sound like you used to be a dog trainer
00:18:40no I actually all like up and proper and the AKC if we're going to go dog so that the American Kennel Club dogs also the cross over here I've been in the Kink Kink fetish Community since I became legal officially like 18 or like a congratulations you're a citizen so I've been playing and experimenting both as a submissive in a dominant in that lifestyle for a while and then
00:19:24Gavin raising a trained dog since I was a little kid and I had some friends in the Kink Community who do a lot of puppy play and actually he's like a pet dragon which is pretty cool Game of Thrones Peter Dinklage if I could develop
00:19:48this curriculum for them because they really love the idea of clicker training for him as a pet dragon and that just set off so many fireworks in my brain and I was like yes there is so much crossover wait so you are developing clicker training for humans or have developed this that's happening especially for children especially for autistic children does David alt right now is that ethical trying to find a different way to communicate especially with kids that have a really hard time communicating so I don't know I'm kind of on the fence about it my brother is autistic so I grew up in that world surrounded by a lot of people disabilities and communication really like the idea of consent so I adult consenting sexual kind of way
00:20:49and so it's so it is being used in a non-sexual way for Simmons do you know if you have like two other buddies in this on the globe that also clicker train kinky and it did so separately like yeah yeah Brazil the UK and France or Germany someone's going to correct me on that right does that far as I know
00:21:27died there's no one else doing this
00:21:30so there is no one else who has developed clicker training in a sexual way for
00:21:39submissive dominant relationships
00:21:41I'm amazing I feel like a Pioneer out to the Wilderness with my clicker he's doing so well
00:21:54part of his world at home is that he supposed to keep the place tidy that's part of his relationship he has a female dominant they are engaged to be married and he is her submissive he's not really good at keeping the place tidy and the biggest thing was leaving his cell phone his keys just in random places and she supposed to be here and he still was not achieving the school and so we worked with the clicker on developing a positive pathway for him putting his cell phone in the proper place and now he does yeah the response from him and from a couple of other people that have been working with his you know you have changed my life which I did not set up to change a really happy that this is working for people in terms of changing their life and making their home life better making their Kink life better no I wish
00:22:54how can we how can I use clicker training to be better and it's every time I use the word like say Amor to say it and you click that would be negative reinforcement so I don't know how you feel about us to go back to me and it take you for a moment okay so if you zap someone that's actually called positive punishment so everything that you do to someone whether is positive reinforcement of positive punishment that's positive if you take away something it's negative towards something bad and I ignored you that would be negative reinforcement so anyway
00:23:41that's just me though oh yeah I was like let's go back to being there for you I like details of bring them on so so in this case if you said like her and you wanted to stop doing that it probably more effective to have someone's app you were slap you every time you said it which if you would like someone to volunteer I mean I'd be really happy if I had a stack of fives and every time I did it I had to hand you a $5 bill sure whatever by money where was painful for you I think I make it 20 that would be so painful it is
00:24:25you know being conscious of your actions so it's it's just bringing awareness what you're doing if you have to hand a 20 to someone I mean you're really conscious of saying now on the other hand if you want to go to positive route if you completed a sentence without saying those words I would click right and then we could build up and if you said a paragraph Without saying like her off and so we would build from there
00:24:57I so want to do that
00:25:05I just can't believe the way you said you said some slap somebody is slapping you every time I said like incorrectly that's the fun part of thinking like a kinkster
00:25:23have you it sounds like you are a dominant
00:25:28yeah sounds like that doesn't it does how do you identify have always identified as a switch which means that I liked, and some areas of my life and I like to be submissive in some areas of my life but I lean more naturally towards being a dominant especially my external self so right like how you present yourself to the world like outside the home or if we're going with astrology to get nerdy again your sun sign is like the core of who you are okay and your rising sign is like how you relate to the world okay so my sun sign is a Pisces so I'm all like emotional and email and already on the inside and I think that's more my submissive self and then my rising sign is a Libra and I'm very like communicative outgoing and vivacious and all that in the world so for someone to be able to access that submissive side of me like
00:26:27I have a lot of trust with that person and so natural it seems good I'm definitely more dominant in the world and a lot of people like that aspect of me and so the the like people pleaser part of myself response more to that and it's really crafted my playstyle in the community is being more more dominant what your people because people like when your dominant your people pleasing even though we think of that as more of a sub e trait right but it happens a lot because honestly like most of us want positive reinforcement and it's just kind of brings back the clicker training you know whether it's social conditioning or what is personal most of us are seeking a positive reaction from our fellow humans and so
00:27:19nitpicky question totally
00:27:23even though it sounds like negative reinforcement is it when something is taken away what is the thing taken away something you don't want like let's say it's a bunch of clothes pins attached to your chest that are hurting you and every time you do something like you get a clothespin taken away would that technically be negative reinforcement or positive reinforcement that depends on the person like do you want that pain okay so then it's negative because it's being taken away even though you will be provided relief because it hurts more when they're taking away the one that put on sad really yeah nipple clamps the clothespins I just have my exam for you for you when I come off I'm like fucking thank God for you but the like the direction of the thing happening is moving away from me so it sound like that was it's not about if it is positive right cuz it's an action
00:28:23but there's an action being taken when the closing is taken off of you that's an action so it's action versus directions clamps action would be we take them and he slept the nipple clamps that they hurt more then that's definitely actions that sounds like fun
00:28:46I know I haven't explored it that much yet I have a question is Holly yes if we were to ever be friends do I have to believe in astrology
00:29:03be friends to be lovers yes different circles being in the friend zone astrology
00:29:14what's interesting we can go to that different podcast annualized cuz you teach Sex Magic
00:29:26not edmr but ASMR a yeah I'm actually thinking about doing Miss Holly's XXX ASMR
00:29:44I do like whisper like you've been a very bad boy or the girl that you've been a very bad girl
00:29:52is it like a podcast or is it like a video of its audio or I think we could do visual too but I definitely want star with audio so I think of podcast would be great I'm like webcamming but we Whispering start to masturbate they lose their a smart Ingles so they just have to be really so I am not one of these people I think we sounds I get this great Cascade of shimmers in my brain and is it weird if I just say it's kind of non consensual if I should start whispering at you too fucked up because of my my interest or turn on start this is not essential oils
00:30:52in your home I think it's okay it to me turning you on is all about so good essential I got having extreme ASMR reaction from you doing your whisper voice to work on it do I need to
00:31:27how much air is it sound like an air valve you can have headphones on so you just in your ear but there is totally across over because the click in clicker training
00:31:46my clique bigger than URS I'm really sound sensitive and so that was too much for me the cat 100 well I hate cats I don't like it now kitties are okay fine I guess I don't believe in astrology and I don't like how you sound like a cat person for dogs and two cats normal person switch loves everything like I'm pansexual I'm just like Give It All I Want It All all of it all of it you're married I have a domestic fetish
00:32:34Suffocation fetish define that for me like I think that having a domestic home life is sexy and their elements of being domestic that are sexy oh I see that on its own like how to level of sexiness to it like now now I'm married but then I'm also I'm in a poly relationship so I have a pretty unique poly Triad because our third partner is not a sexual number of our Triad so he's my best friend who grew up together somewhere magical working partners and he's of identified as gay and he's not one of our sexual partners but he makes all the life decisions and also life decisions
00:33:20like when you're going to go for a walk and what you're going to eat tonight daily life decision we're just not sexual partners does your third make the decisions for both of you we all have equal weight and now I'm now I'm definitely the most dominant and both of them I know you just have to find your joy I'm so domestication fetid over there is a second I've noticed that it can be sexy like I think that getting married one of the kinkiest things you can do so we can can
00:34:12you're by yourself the coloring it's like an eternal collaring ceremony what it what is this ring it is a caller on your finger that's hot you're right it's in a butler outfit in certainty this is just an all that just general house domestic chores and things there can be a I think that's probably why you no one's itself to this clicker stuff and maybe the puppy fetish stuff and that is about like creating a happier home. And I want my My Little World when I go home I want it to be as perfect as possible to get so I just wanted to feel good right so how is clicker training improve your life and relationships because it's something you integrate personally I'm cuz you're also a teacher and you share this with the world high do so I've worked some training with my husband I don't
00:35:12clicker training with my other partner I just said we're not in a sexual relationship and he's very dominant so that's not happening it's pretty submissive to me and we have worked some clicker training but it's especially awesome for moments when other communication is difficult like let's say when your partner's going down on you one day is hit the perfect spot okay so you can click you can Velociraptor blue
00:35:47when you hit when you hit orgasm if you're really trying to hold it into like this is what it feels good to me basic basic aspects that a Cheech is that we talk too much is ridiculous because here we are talking but have sex with each other and right now when you're working with a partner and we're trying to achieve a goal
00:36:18sometimes words get in the way actually a lot of times words get in the way. Goal is the perfect orgasm or that goal is you know having a clean house I think that words get in the way and so when we take the words out instead we're waiting for the person to do the right thing and they know that we're waiting for them to do the right thing and they're waiting to hear that click sound all of a sudden
00:36:46your senses are heightened and you're working together to try to find the school it's like playing hungry hungry hippos eat and then I might snap your finger right but like I said
00:37:01okay I was wondering I was thinking like okay yeah he's positive relationship sure
00:37:09like let's get into like orgasm territory as it was brilliant of course you could just click now I think of clicker training is going to learn how to I don't know like some of the examples you gave her about subbing position body positioning sure and I like generally I can just click so that they know all the moments that are happy for me or do I or is it more effective when you're like and now I am I am we're going to work on I think it's always more effective when you take time specific time and put it aside to work on something with your partner you're telling them you care about them or that you really want to work on something now that might not be your style see that you could be out on a date with your clicker at a restaurant cuz that sounds like fun right and click all the moments that make you happy I don't know if that is going to
00:38:07create necessarily a specific effect of Enzo getting down to the nitty-gritty again like what I found successful is if we really dial it down to I want this behavior from you and then you do take the time to work on that behavior so what are some common things that people want to have happened in their relationships okay so what position 8 so the Kink world we have a lot of bondage we have a lot of impact play like spanking and things like that and it's really important that people are in and by people I mean submissive are in the correct positions or are doing things correctly so you can work on you know getting your submissive into the correctional Force physician or relaxing their body that's actually step one for me is always crazy
00:39:07relax trigger trigger trigger okay so this is important okay
00:39:18you have to create a trigger for the response you have to establish that is a trigger the son of the click now Mark okay so they're okay let's let's go but I can't wait till I started with us part D how does one clicker train a person so there's a there's a reward there's a war called The Mark reward so yeah that's a subtlety in humans because the click the reward is actually the dump of serotonin in your brain on drugs drugs in your brain but it's also the reward is also knowing that you did the right thing now you can pair that roared
00:40:18something else positive
00:40:22but let's back it up so the first thing you want to have is your trigger so whether you say a word like Neil and I want a specific Danielle I want them when I seen yo I want Anil with the knees open in the hands behind their back and their eyes looking at me okay that's all I can really complicated thing but that's what I want when I tell my submissive to Neil
00:40:46so I'm going to teach them that when I say the word Neil they're going to go into that position we can talk about this a couple of ways to get there when they do it correctly I'm going to make the click in the moment that happens but we have to do it in the moment that it's right so this is really about being too picky you have to click though correct moment and we think of something that's verbal or something I can do where people can hear like can we just like make this present now sure I'm trying to trick you into training unit but I'm consented to like what like
00:41:23the Sounder phrase or something that you want me to do and then sure okay so this is what we call warm conditioning where I'm going to tell you to do something okay and then you're going to do it I'm going to do it right I'm going to mark it all right okay so I would like you to yawn
00:41:41I would like you to do a realistic John
00:41:49that was right you guys did well okay you're doing it right make you cry
00:42:04when I clicked then afterwards
00:42:07I said something positive okay so we reward was two things you smiled when I click cuz you knew who in their right to that was your brain chemicals dumping into your head saying so say something like yes or good or you did it right is a really good way to punctuate and emphasize also in the reward category you didn't write it all sounds kind of patronizing part of the okay so okay so if you have chosen to be a submissive
00:42:45especially with the style of training part of what you want is for someone to tell you what to do if you don't want someone to tell you what to do and do not submit to your training that is what this is all about what are the subtleties is that the best way to achieve behavior modification is it the submissive comes up with it on their own right okay mean like hey babe maybe you should get me to yawn like that like I have an idea okay yeah that's that's one way if they like bring it up another way is the whole school thought cold cold shaping so let's say we set aside some special time for training but we don't have an agenda set well the submissive doesn't have an agenda said but the dominant does okay and so the specimen the dominant stand there and a submissive knows they're supposed to do something and they don't know what it is all right okay so they're going to start throwing a bunch of behaviors
00:43:44oh yeah we both know you're like hey babe it's time for some time for clicker training okay because I'm trying to eliminate saying words so much I use my clicker as a symbol so I will put it out or I will show it to them as a visual cue saying hey we're going to go do this instead of you know saying train time now just be like so when they see that on the kitchen table and I'm just going to wait a while cuz or submissive is trying to figure out what the hell
00:44:32and they'll start behaviors dog training in people training for those two are like doing stuff I'm Jazz handing a little bit right now I'm just I don't want me to research Charleston Charleston Navy like what I want from you I don't know it depends on how long how willing you are to wait how patient you are but eventually usually they won't see what you asked me what you want them to do yeah I guess it like what are you serious as we think we are so what's a day that you know I've been
00:45:23like hankerin to use a new butt plug on my submissive okay like you do you do so they know about this and so then maybe that's in the back of the brain and eventually they get on all fours okay
00:45:44and so I don't need them to achieve the perfect result in the first moment and cold shaping what I'm doing is I'm rewarding steps okay so like if they were on their knees pretty close to all fours and then I break him out of it and have them do it again and this time when they got on all on their knees I would forward it I would wait until they figured out what I was going to what your bridging so how do you get them out of there are you like up
00:46:18yeah or release release usually have a word that we've all agreed on that it that is a release word yeah I like how this is so isn't it sexy I love efficiency turns me on the next Revolution sexy smog so but it really think it really is sexy I think for people that like to be in charge and like to have things go go right like I want things to be efficient I want things to be correct sexy for me as a dominant for sure yeah there's definitely I feel like in some of my relationships there's been a bit of like maybe I should just cold shape them
00:47:08they would have had to consent to it I just didn't know what to do this relationship training
00:47:33you could totally be like a relationship life coach hooker Trainor. It's turning into yeah it's doing training sessions with each other for certain you could you could I would be concerned to use the concerned word about resentment because if you have not everyone is
00:48:04accepting of whether they are a dominant or submissive in the relationship
00:48:10so if you have a relationship with someone has not acknowledged that their the submissive they could have a really hard time
00:48:17give me one way or the other or like for me I'm really dominant in that way don't clicker train me I want to be the trainer got it so I think I would be interesting to explore to see if they were switching people that could train each other but I think that it's going to be a lot more successful if you have one person said is the trainer and one person set as the receiver or the pet all right make sense I'm a little confused in a word and then your mark which is the click and then it possibly will work which could be verbal along with it the Mind drugs
00:49:02peanut M&Ms work for me to mention about the the dragon and his dominant how it was just about leaving his keys and wallet around so does that mean that the Dom has to just in life always be using a trigger word know so you can this is what you're using when you are training and then you fade it out you can or you don't have to I can always say Neil and they can go in the position in the example of the Dragon submissive they were established Lynn Pathways in the brain that would so he will have this Rush of endorphins whenever he puts his cell phone in the dish whether she's around or not to the trigger was for that was being used during the training session yes to go through the motions of him place an ad in the dishes and what happened was that
00:50:02you know like the next day he went to put a cell phone down in a random spot because I mean we had worked on it for like a half an hour of the day before you went oh yeah I'm not supposed to do that went over put it in his dish had the happy brain chemicals and was like and that made his life better
00:50:24so how is this dangerous it seems like really happens. So weapon please use it responsibly to so
00:50:44yeah I mean I think that's why I am I classes I really am besides consent and also the Eddie that you know couples should create a plan together
00:50:54on what they want this to achieve what are the dangers is it just you cook a training somebody to for something that they don't want to do I mean cuz I always like to not sure honey let's use let's clicking is great for any of this but stuff we want to try out but you don't really want to do it is that the conversation is the danger things to watch out for its addictive
00:51:24so I can be good and bad I guess it over the person getting the brain chemicals yeah okay addictive perhaps for the trainer as well but definitely addicted for the person getting the brain chemicals I mean we know that Damien addiction is real got it okay so
00:51:41that's
00:51:43if you become addicted to this process and then you break up with your trainer oh my gosh like you can't really click yourself
00:51:52there's that
00:51:57could you be conditions you something that you don't want to do yeah you totally could so that's dangerous the person but you don't want to do it but then I keep looking every time you're making him happy is that how it kind of goes into that I think that's why you have to have really clear communication about your boundaries about you know what you're really consenting to do and not do so you could use this for getting somebody to start to like or taller smooth I really don't want to do it's more helpful to make things more efficient to create short-handed to create new and better have it and I think it's really an efficient way for a couple to achieve goals together so
00:52:54yeah like sexy girls, are there definitely want my submissive she will take a certain level of pain without squirming and so just a little bag of that you want when I hit them with stuff and I totally can send each other hit a major they are completely consenting they love the owners of it and what's hard is sometimes holding still are holding up position so quick and trains are great way to teach people okay I'm actually going to have a more pleasurable experience if I hold still and take this
00:53:45to not orgasm orgasm denial so you can basically there's a couple different ways you can do this you can click for every time you get someone close to orgasm and then they don't come or if you're working with some kind of chastity device and they're doing please you whatever they put on the chassis device or something like that you can click but maybe that's another phone cast to Chastity smell stuff like her socks and maybe some dirty talk and he will light spanking but just make it just like in stuff you know I don't know like disappear like that's not
00:54:39where is that sexy for people that are just like making out and heavy petting I don't know I maybe it is I think it's definitely usable for oral sex because your faces are far away from each other so again for communication that's really useful training session but they're witness early be a trigger you're just being marking when you like something right okay so that's for the trigger is go down on me I mean isn't that the the trigger is that you set up an orgasm okay yeah or did Point like me or whatever and whenever I use just looking at my nose making sure
00:55:29yeah okay recovering a lot of the good stuff yeah so I think that look if your clicker training for sexual happiness that's a kink you have stepped out of the realm of vanilla and normal
00:55:44so sorry folks normal Miss Holly normal if your clicker training for sexual happiness that whether you think is weird or not it does but you in a nice group of people absolutely so that's just to achieve orgasm you know what your cell phone to the right place like that is a really different way of living right I mean to me it doesn't seem to bring up my puppy like I'm not necessarily you have any interest in explain this in a puppy kind of yeah but you haven't you haven't played with it yet right
00:56:30right you haven't been trained as a puppy and now I drive between is a human life liquor store so I must interview so for me it's more about all people pleaser discussion partners and I like it so what I'm hearing this but okay see you there's the training session you can also have just oral sex be able to communicate good job good job orgasm denial can you click to Aura orgasm oncue is that something you can train so it wouldn't be the click because that wouldn't give them to click on become the trigger right so you would want to trigger word like or trigger phrase like come for me
00:57:21would be a good trigger phrase yeah back in back in my youth you know that kind of condition he's been around for a long time so I was conditioned to come on command for a couple of different people but we barely coming but it's so so what you do is you get someone to space of orgasms because I'm right on the edge of orgasm orgasm say come for me does orgasm mean you click and then they have an orgasm of reinforcement CJ come for me click like as a top and I got it and then with the idea of fading it out and so then you build it Up So eventually you say come for me they come then
00:58:21faded out your fading in this case you would be up to orgasm oh so they're less and less arouse there's less and less prep work okay and if his orgasm is a lot mental
00:58:43does this mean now is
00:58:48you okay so they're orgasming and then you click you say come for me when you know they're almost there and it's like let you know like hey I'm I'm going to come soon and that way you can take them for me right and then
00:59:06you should know when your partner is about to come
00:59:10but sometimes people are tricky sneaky orgasms yeah I would say that most people tell you are we are we are we five seconds out are we
00:59:25we never turned yeah I mean I think well and that all depends on where you're at in your life and everything but if I'm like conditioning someone to come on command I want to know who they are first so I usually have a pretty intimate relationship with that person I know what their tells are but they start like shoulders heart spasm Pechanga means there's really something about all of this is that you do get very in-depth and you understand
00:59:57like what makes a person take and you start watching for those tells you have experience being trained I want to come and yes and you trained others yes this is even pre Clipper life so where they just like hey come for me and you did and they're like great job
01:00:25basically so just no click it was the same kind of cats are missing the click the click how to make the love that lizard brain is like starts drooling serotonin dump the cheapest form of ecstasy pretty much no drugs amazing
01:00:59command command which is fascinating so slowly early in earlier in the erotic arousal. You say come for me now if
01:01:10I know my partner seems to be hovering around like the hot it's like the plateau Zone yeah but I know a few extra diddles and and they could get there and I say come for me and then they kind of getting their head or they get distracted or and it doesn't happen that mean I need to backup a step and do Italy to come for me closer to orgasm the three failed rule so something doesn't take a step back so yeah if if it doesn't work take a step back
01:01:44concussed orgasm orgasm how late are we talking I got cutter training okay with it so I'm thinking I'm thinking where can people learn more about the since the seems so rare and you are you are a man Explorer what is that word when people are in Inventor year of yes
01:02:28diamond in the rough you're more than a diamond in the rough Pioneer Dr your Pioneer in clicker training those why was westward to it yeah so I'm on FetLife Miss Holly all one word m i s s h o l y masoli message me I'd love to chat with you and message me before you friend me you can friend me but you know I love messages and then there's also group click happy on FetLife if you like do a general search really happy we're like the last group on the second page of super sad I don't know why whatever FetLife algorithm go search for it actually named click happy it still takes two pages to get to 15 people right now I see the teacher and this group is everybody who comes to your class what is this
01:03:28that's pretty much it for people that have found it and are interested in we've chatted and I said he joined the group you can I see find out when the next class is need to click happy Groupon meet up with a lot of crazy sexy cool meetup.com confusing though cuz there's a lot of dog training groups on there that repeat that Sparks I really want them to come to our class a German Shepherd washed no I just want the trainers to come I just want the dog people because honestly like dog people would get this so much it's not even funny it's not funny no laughing allowed zap positive
01:04:18I was interesting I didn't know about all that is there anything that you wish everyone knew about this it's easy it's easy danger and if I mess up and super easy
01:04:39how much do you suggest a couple put in like in a session to if you have a goal for more than 10 20 minutes at a time okay yeah I mean if I'm working one-on-one with a couple and I do offer one-on-one sessions it'll be like an hour but a lot of that is as sitting and chatting and creating goals and stuff the actual training should be around 10 minutes at a time okay so yeah just 10 minutes like 10 minutes a day do sit-ups or whatever or you can just forget about that actually you could click train your partner to do sit ups
01:05:24what's yes athletes and children with autism
01:05:29so golfers to get the perfect golf swing ballet dancers also the trainers will just the minute they yeah I did it right because it's about getting your physical body in the correct place right so yeah you could wear all the workout fetishists wait no I really need to work out more so how do I have some sexy person in my life and I will they would need to know what the correct position is for you to be achieving the perfect I don't know Pilates like 1000 or something and then yeah when you achieve that you got to click taking me like it's AB time and then I noticed like in the once I do and I don't know I told you be like I don't know how many they want me to do right so you just keep going is it like I mean is this any different than going to you know a pilates class or any aerobics class were they say okay now March up and down for you know I mean it is the same idea except for now we're heading to click and we're making it
01:06:29I don't get it it just seems like I'm trying to keep up when I go to this class I'm not necessarily feel like you did a good job right so then this would be more like personal training it's not one on one those making more intimate you achieved your 20 crunches let's go fuck
01:06:58interesting very interesting because then out after training session it's I guess it's do you have your partner have a trigger word or you just have this constant urge to do sit-ups to please them when you're around them right is that a bad thing I don't know I just know you have to talk yeah okay Vault this is marvelous I love this so much so if you can find you on chat life at Miss Holly yes Save on your group click Happy on the 2nd to check in the world.com and if they do backslash click happy I can find it totally well as you are
01:07:56yeah yeah are you rich or witchy
01:08:07Irish Jewish perfect Perfect combo you can see all the magical stuff can call you Holly or volume is Holly how does it work I don't know it's always good but I miss Holly thank you
01:08:29thank you may God you're definitely on team fun which is
01:08:35I think we say here thank you everyone
01:08:41no brainwashing the fun kind consent in all things be careful out there
01:08:52now leaving nerdist.com

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