Full Transcript for 'Unfriendly Queer Muslim Hotties' (with Noor from The Reality Is Podcast!)

And it's corny as it sounds he is my best friend. 03:57.158 --> 03:57.979 [SPEAKER_01]: I do get it. 03:58.079 --> 04:02.340 [SPEAKER_01]: I understand he is very funny But it is I do always like to tell everybody. 04:02.380 --> 04:04.481 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you could like him, but he is a straight. 04:04.661 --> 04:09.743 [SPEAKER_00]: I get it Something like we have to admit the bar for the streets. 04:09.963 --> 04:10.924 [SPEAKER_00]: It's very low. 04:11.084 --> 04:11.484 [SPEAKER_00]: So great. 04:11.504 --> 04:13.645 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm glad you're good I'm glad you're in through the door. 04:13.725 --> 04:14.485 [SPEAKER_00]: However comma. 04:14.505 --> 04:15.865 [SPEAKER_00]: There's an ostrich next to your name. 04:15.945 --> 04:20.247 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, forever You barely belong here. 04:20.327 --> 04:22.128 [SPEAKER_01]: In fact if I want you don't 04:23.505 --> 04:24.005 [SPEAKER_00]: I love that. 04:24.086 --> 04:34.053 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I have, now I feel like, I set the, I feel like I know you guys, but really what it is that I think it's you guys give me a comfort because there is the reason I'll tell you why. 04:34.213 --> 04:51.025 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember the first episode I listened to you and you mentioned the fact that you grew up in Saudi Arabia as well and I was just like, okay, I've never actually, I don't know many people who have that same experience that I do of the fact that people need someone who is Muslim and grew up in the Gulf region specifically and then moved to West and then lived the rest of their life there. 04:51.165 --> 04:58.681 [SPEAKER_00]: I think when I approached you specifically for doing this episode by like this is more from the reality is everybody I just remembered we've been going on for a while and I haven't mentioned it at all. 05:01.340 --> 05:17.273 [SPEAKER_00]: What I reached out to you, I think I was feeling really annoyed by the way people were talking about the Gulf in that specific moment because it was like the comedy festival that happened and it's like a bunch of other stuff where the Gulf suddenly became in the forefront and I just was really annoyed. 05:17.373 --> 05:29.803 [SPEAKER_00]: I was just like, okay, yes all the points that are being made are fair, but also picking racist in a way that it seems like you don't realize it and that's besides the point that that's why I reached out to you, but yeah, that's that is also part of the reason why I really felt the kinship to you guys. 05:29.823 --> 05:30.083 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like 05:30.163 --> 05:33.564 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh yeah, these are people who know my experience in a way that many other people do. 05:33.744 --> 05:35.164 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're in the Middle East to do live. 05:35.184 --> 05:35.945 [SPEAKER_01]: Did you live in Saudi? 05:36.245 --> 05:37.145 [SPEAKER_00]: No, I lived in Bahrain. 05:37.185 --> 05:43.827 [SPEAKER_00]: So not very far, we were known as the Vegas of the Middle East because Saudi rape

had just come in the weekend. 05:43.907 --> 05:44.607 [SPEAKER_00]: This is fair enough. 05:44.747 --> 05:46.488 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, this parents are still there at the moment. 05:46.748 --> 05:51.069 [SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I was just talking to my mother and they're going through all this stuff with Iran and everything right now. 05:51.089 --> 05:53.910 [SPEAKER_00]: So they're very, it's a very stressful time for everybody. 05:53.930 --> 05:58.251 [SPEAKER_00]: And that's another reason I think I was playing in my head when I reached out to you as the fact that I think, 05:59.271 --> 06:07.678 [SPEAKER_00]: It's a weird situation because I think there's a lot of people who want to speak about specific things and there's also a lot of difficulty about speaking but for me, actually, let me be honest. 06:07.698 --> 06:20.929 [SPEAKER_00]: This is why I have difficulty speaking about that aspect of my identity because I always feel like the second I do is like there are enemies amongst you and that's my point out your different very specific way, but also I wanted to talk to you about reality TV. 06:20.969 --> 06:22.070 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk to you about nonsense. 06:22.090 --> 06:24.852 [SPEAKER_00]: I want to talk to you about pop culture because you're the best at it out there. 06:24.872 --> 06:25.272 [SPEAKER_00]: Come on now. 06:27.414 --> 06:27.975 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, have it. 06:28.235 --> 06:29.096 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm not. 06:29.156 --> 06:31.718 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just a, I'm just a, I'm just a yapper. 06:31.819 --> 06:33.800 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just a lifelong yapper. 06:33.921 --> 06:35.562 [SPEAKER_01]: I've just, I have that as a gift. 06:36.823 --> 06:41.268 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I just have been given the curse of never shutting the fuck up. 06:41.368 --> 06:43.670 [SPEAKER_01]: So I just, that's just really what it is. 06:43.991 --> 06:44.831 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's so interesting. 06:44.851 --> 06:46.353 [SPEAKER_01]: What is your family's actual background? 06:46.713 --> 06:48.094 [SPEAKER_00]: My father is family. 06:48.314 --> 07:03.441 [SPEAKER_00]: We have our lineage goes back to Sudan which is where the black aspect comes in and my father at the moment lives in Abu Dhabi But like we spread from throughout the Gulf the way most Gulf people are and then yeah, okay, and in your mom as well Yeah, my mother is native and so yeah, it's an interesting experience. 07:03.481 --> 07:06.142 [SPEAKER_00]: I also like yeah, and reflect on that I just sort of tell me 07:06.142 --> 07:06.842 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I love it. 07:06.982 --> 07:07.442 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. 07:07.482 --> 07:08.263 [SPEAKER_01]: I love hearing about it. 07:08.363 --> 07:12.684 [SPEAKER_01]: And I actually, okay, so this is gonna sound like so elitist and I try not to be. 07:13.024 --> 07:16.565 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't try to be a person who believes that anybody is superior to anybody else. 07:16.666 --> 07:19.847 [SPEAKER_01]: I just think of my, like, nobody is better because here's the thing. 07:20.147 --> 07:27.809 [SPEAKER_01]: You give people like an ounce of feeling, like you're, you think that they are, we are better in some way, and they just run with it. 07:27.869 --> 07:29.990 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, I'm still a piece of shit and so anyways. 07:30.130 --> 07:31.751 [SPEAKER_01]: Nobody is better than anybody else. 07:31.791 --> 07:40.595 [SPEAKER_00]: We are all deserving of care and love in human rights and health care, but I can think of a few people for absurd reality shows that I would exclude from them, but that's fine, that's fine. 07:40.635 --> 07:41.035 [SPEAKER_01]: Sure. 07:41.415 --> 07:41.795 [SPEAKER_01]: Sure. 07:42.316 --> 07:46.678 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I, because my family is from Pakistan, and we lived in Saudi, me and my brothers were born there. 07:46.978 --> 07:50.459 [SPEAKER_01]: And we came here in the 90s, we came here in 1995. 07:51.200 --> 07:56.862 [SPEAKER_01]: And it was because my parents wanted my older brother to go to high school, and wanted him to go to college here. 07:56.942 --> 07:58.123 [SPEAKER_01]: So they were like, let's get him in. 07:58.563 --> 08:01.966 [SPEAKER_01]: when he's in 10th grade, so he can go through high school and take his SATs and all that stuff. 08:02.226 --> 08:06.589 [SPEAKER_01]: It'll be easier for him to then apply to American universities, be going through the high school system, whatever. 08:06.989 --> 08:09.271 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's why we moved from the Middle East to here. 08:09.451 --> 08:12.874 [SPEAKER_01]: And but when we were younger, we used to go to Pakistan all the time. 08:12.894 --> 08:15.036 [SPEAKER_01]: We used to have been through all the time because it's a three-hour flight. 08:15.536 --> 08:23.022 [SPEAKER_01]: And I just felt like my cousins that were from Pakistan, they had a very stunted view of the world. 08:23.822 --> 08:31.428 [SPEAKER_01]: And my cousins, it was like me and my one uncle's kids, like we lived in the Middle East, they lived in Dubai and then we lived in Rio. 08:31.608 --> 08:38.334 [SPEAKER_01]: And when they would be visiting with us to Pakistan, it was like, you just knew who the cool kids were. 08:38.354 --> 08:39.475 [SPEAKER_01]: And cool kids. 08:39.615 --> 08:41.697 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, cousins were the ones that came from the Middle East. 08:42.117 --> 08:48.643 [SPEAKER_01]: We just got it a little bit differently than the just the full Pakistanis. 08:48.723 --> 08:54.308 [SPEAKER_01]: And by the way, I see that with so much love light and respect because I actually think my box any cousins are so funny. 08:54.328 --> 08:59.433 [SPEAKER_01]: I actually give that up to my mom's family, which is probably turned their trauma into humor. 08:59.813 --> 09:11.442 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that's that, but then when I moved to America, I also noticed that same type of stunted view of life from the kids that were from here and had never experienced life outside of it.

09:11.462 --> 09:19.628 [SPEAKER_01]: This is such a privileged thing to say, but like when I came to America, I had met kids and fifth and sixth grade that said, I'd never been on a plane. 09:19.708 --> 09:20.748 [SPEAKER_01]: They'd never been on a plane. 09:20.788 --> 09:21.669 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, what? 09:21.689 --> 09:22.229 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 09:22.249 --> 09:23.811 [SPEAKER_01]: In a high school, kids being like, 09:24.551 --> 09:35.278 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I don't have a passport and I was like, what do you mean you don't have a passport or that's so crazy to me because when you live in the middle east, I think that our access to certain places are travel and stuff. 09:35.699 --> 09:39.241 [SPEAKER_01]: It is actually in so many ways such a privileged existence. 09:39.661 --> 09:43.784 [SPEAKER_01]: Like when you're living there, especially as a kid, we have access to so many more things. 09:43.804 --> 09:46.186 [SPEAKER_01]: We have access to so many cultures that 09:46.766 --> 09:55.650 [SPEAKER_01]: I often sometimes think that when I was growing up there because I had access to so much, I didn't think about the fact that our streets were police by the morality. 09:55.690 --> 09:57.231 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I didn't think about those things. 09:57.531 --> 10:08.375 [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't think about the fact that my mom had to wear an abaya every time she left the house or that she wasn't allowed to drive a car or that she had to sit in the back of the car with a driver was driving us because that person is not her metham. 10:08.496 --> 10:11.277 [SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't think about those things when I was like, oh, so I was a kid. 10:16.659 --> 10:20.500 [SPEAKER_01]: It was a gift that my parents gave us to move out into a place that was a little bit different. 10:20.520 --> 10:23.360 [SPEAKER_01]: I think, a little bit of America, which is very anti-migration. 10:23.380 --> 10:38.483 [SPEAKER_01]: The entire world is becoming very anti-migration, but the people that you learn from the most of people that have experienced multiple cultures, of people that have lived and actually made a choice to migrate, are some of the most beautifully complex and open-minded people. 10:38.563 --> 10:44.125 [SPEAKER_01]: It's also wise shocking to me sometimes when I meet people in America that are immigrants, 10:46.805 --> 10:47.386 [SPEAKER_01]: Excuse me. 10:48.306 --> 10:48.987 [SPEAKER_01]: What about you? 10:49.067 --> 10:52.228 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you, you have some empathy for your experience. 10:52.249 --> 10:59.653 [SPEAKER_01]: Full point of living, certain, so many different countries and experiencing so many different people is that we're supposed to make us more inclusive. 10:59.673 --> 11:02.034 [SPEAKER_01]: It's supposed to make us want to have a larger community. 11:02.054 --> 11:05.256 [SPEAKER_01]: It's supposed to make us more in touch with other people and empathetic and everything like that. 11:05.336 --> 11:06.197 [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't know. 11:06.237 --> 11:07.698 [SPEAKER_01]: I felt like growing up with a Middle East. 11:07.738 --> 11:12.120 [SPEAKER_01]: That was like a gift and it was a little bit of a culture shock to me when I moved to America because I was like, 11:16.263 --> 11:19.126 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been in the UK now for 15 years. 11:19.586 --> 11:21.408 [SPEAKER_00]: I moved here for university, and then I just stayed. 11:21.468 --> 11:28.214 [SPEAKER_00]: But before that, also, I was in a international school, kid, so like, and the majority of the P population are expats at this point. 11:28.234 --> 11:30.316 [SPEAKER_00]: They're not in the end of their expats and immigrants. 11:30.656 --> 11:33.399 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, like you were saying, there was like a lot of people from everywhere. 11:33.559 --> 11:39.445 [SPEAKER_00]: But then I think it's interesting also because my difference was also concentrated in my day today. 11:39.705 --> 11:44.128 [SPEAKER_00]: because I went to an international school that was the children of those expats. 11:44.249 --> 11:57.379 [SPEAKER_00]: I was the only Arab kid that was admitted at the time, and I was one of two black kids, because there was like another black American kid in that school, and that was the case or until I think I got to A-levels, which is like high school, age, right from university. 11:57.799 --> 12:02.042 [SPEAKER_00]: And so, and then add on to that, the fact that I was a queer Arab kid as well. 12:02.082 --> 12:04.244 [SPEAKER_00]: My difference was also something I experienced in my life. 12:04.264 --> 12:05.045 [SPEAKER_01]: I got like queer. 12:05.365 --> 12:29.753 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, it's all the things and so the point of this episode I think specifically and why wanted you specifically to have on is because like you were saying you're someone what I'm trying to build right now is hopefully is going to be part of a series of episodes where I'm talking to people who do work that I think is about themselves or exist in the world as going to public space the idea of selling quote-unquote yourself or allowing that out there as part 12:31.113 --> 12:34.954 [SPEAKER_00]: and the different ways that different people can do that, but it'll be difficulty of that. 12:35.034 --> 12:37.555 [SPEAKER_00]: I've been podcasting now for maybe two years. 12:37.595 --> 12:38.895 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I'm coming on my third year. 12:39.415 --> 12:41.135 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's been a weird journey. 12:41.355 --> 12:44.596 [SPEAKER_00]: I remember the first year of hating my voice now second year, I don't mind my voice. 12:44.756 --> 12:52.278 [SPEAKER_00]: And then now I was recently just on a friend of mine Conner's, Goldsmith's podcast, We Bro, on his latest episode. 12:52.818 --> 12:54.879 [SPEAKER_00]: And we were talking in this like an X-Men podcast. 12:54.899 --> 12:55.859 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a nerd, hello, nerd. 12:55.919 --> 12:56.299 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry. 12:56.519 -->

12:57.379 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry. 12:57.659 --> 12:57.959 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry. 12:57.979 --> 12:59.180 [SPEAKER_01]: No, not so sorry. 13:01.100 --> 13:05.585 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but yes, this is a big Wolverine house. 13:05.925 --> 13:07.226 [SPEAKER_00]: It said, oh, okay. 13:07.266 --> 13:10.610 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, there's an excellent 97 conversation we can have in a second. 13:11.291 --> 13:12.452 [SPEAKER_01]: No, we can. 13:12.632 --> 13:14.274 [SPEAKER_01]: My husband was and your knee would have it. 13:14.314 --> 13:14.714 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 13:14.734 --> 13:15.555 [SPEAKER_00]: Second of my details. 13:16.536 --> 13:35.877 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it was like the, the, the, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 13:37.979 --> 13:52.976 [SPEAKER_00]: But I was on my friends Oddcast and so the structure of his is that he picks a character from the franchise and then we have a conversation about it and the character He picked is a character that happens to be Muslim and queer and also a vampire monster who killed his mother when he came out 13:53.296 --> 13:54.217 [SPEAKER_00]: And also black. 13:54.237 --> 14:20.558 [SPEAKER_00]: So it was like all these things that factor on to me in these weird ways and I ended up having cried on record, which I've never done before and I think doing that just talking about my experience and just myself and that precipitated a breakdown obviously after all this was like should I allow this out there or not, but that kind of made me think about the emotional toll, but also the bravery and I was I said what part of the reason I really enjoy listening to three ideas is because I feel a kinship, but also I think it's like 14:21.279 --> 14:27.380 [SPEAKER_00]: You're a Muslim woman talking about things that a lot of Muslim women, and you discussed this on the show as well. 14:27.400 --> 14:30.081 [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of Muslim women will not talk about in public. 14:30.241 --> 14:31.801 [SPEAKER_00]: And I really admire that. 14:31.881 --> 14:36.643 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, because I've had to go through that journey of trying to claim that aspect of myself. 14:36.783 --> 14:38.943 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm a Muslim queer person. 14:39.403 --> 14:41.944 [SPEAKER_00]: And I've only really started saying that very recently. 14:42.124 --> 14:42.864 [SPEAKER_00]: I've really started saying that. 14:42.904 --> 14:44.684 [SPEAKER_00]: And I just out loud, but also to myself. 14:45.185 --> 14:47.045 [SPEAKER_00]: So I wanted to ask you about that a little bit. 14:47.779 --> 14:56.066 [SPEAKER_01]: I also, I'm a Muslim queer person and that's also something that I very recently only started saying I would not say that to my mom still. 14:56.146 --> 15:05.395 [SPEAKER_01]: I probably can't and I always say that I'm a quiet queer because at the end of the day I am a cis woman married to a cis man and living a very heteronormative life. 15:05.915 --> 15:07.817 [SPEAKER_01]: He's a Muslim man. 15:07.837 --> 15:09.378 [SPEAKER_01]: I got married 15 years ago. 15:09.558 --> 15:11.600 [SPEAKER_01]: We live a life that on the 15:14.142 --> 15:21.048 [SPEAKER_01]: Either anybody here identifies that anything differently than straight might to go back to earlier. 15:21.228 --> 15:22.929 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to bring it back to X-Men for a second. 15:23.149 --> 15:31.295 [SPEAKER_01]: I think the greatest thing about art, anything one of the coolest things about X-Men is that at the end of the day, those comics were created about gay existence. 15:31.776 --> 15:32.756 [SPEAKER_01]: That was the whole thing. 15:32.816 --> 15:35.018 [SPEAKER_01]: That is the root of why those comics existed. 15:35.038 --> 15:36.279 [SPEAKER_01]: That's why a lot of comics exist. 15:36.499 --> 15:37.840 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you listen to Kendrick? 15:41.623 --> 15:44.764 [SPEAKER_01]: I need to reach out to him actually. 15:44.804 --> 15:46.304 [SPEAKER_00]: I need to get you on the next month. 15:46.504 --> 15:46.984 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god. 15:47.384 --> 15:55.106 [SPEAKER_01]: But I think that art is supposed to exist in any form to help us feel and see some other side of ourselves. 15:55.306 --> 16:03.648 [SPEAKER_01]: If we just exist as human beings going day to day, especially in capitalist western society, wake up, we go to work, we come home, we take care of ourselves, our families, and then 16:03.928 --> 16:05.569 [SPEAKER_01]: we go to bed and we do the same thing again. 16:06.030 --> 16:22.922 [SPEAKER_01]: There's no moment of self reflection and the best thing about art, the best thing about stories, the best thing about music is when you hear something or you see something or you consume something that goes, oh my god, I feel so seen, I've never felt this new emotion that somebody else is having that I've also felt before. 16:23.122 --> 16:27.966 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the whole thing is about seeing yourself in that relatability and all of that kind of stuff is 16:29.313 --> 16:33.376 [SPEAKER_01]: what makes art so beautiful, and I also think with podcasting. 16:33.516 --> 16:42.362 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, I have been given the gift slash course of never cutting the fuck up for a long time as a woman, and this isn't a cultural thing. 16:42.402 --> 16:46.164 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's just existing in the patriarchy and misogyny as a whole. 16:46.445 --> 16:54.590 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think it has specific to growing up in the Middle East or being most summer anything, but women are not told to have opinions. 16:54.850 --> 16:58.151 [SPEAKER_01]: Even as little girls, we're told to take up

as little spaces possible. 16:58.491 --> 17:01.332 [SPEAKER_01]: We're told to make other people as comfortable as possible. 17:01.352 --> 17:05.513 [SPEAKER_01]: We're not really told to stand on our advocate for ourselves, right? 17:05.553 --> 17:10.034 [SPEAKER_01]: So as a mouth-yass girl, who was asking a lot of questions, who grew up with boys. 17:10.094 --> 17:14.035 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, I've two brothers and I have a lot of boy cousins, and I was always asking why. 17:14.375 --> 17:16.396 [SPEAKER_01]: And always being told, it just is. 17:16.676 --> 17:17.856 [SPEAKER_01]: Just be quiet. 17:17.976 --> 17:21.077 [SPEAKER_01]: Nobody has the time to explain this to you. 17:23.758 --> 17:52.599 [SPEAKER_01]: But I did a lot of things that kept me with clothes within the box that my that society has told me that I should exist in I got married a 25 to a lovely man But I got married to a Pakistani Muslim guy and I always say to my mom you're so lucky that I found a really great guy to marry Because I was going to get married no matter what I knew that at 2324 my only options of leaving my parents home was getting married that was my only way out 17:52.919 --> 17:54.480 [SPEAKER_01]: My parents were not going to let me move out. 17:54.540 --> 17:56.600 [SPEAKER_01]: They were not going to, they didn't even let my brother move out. 17:56.740 --> 17:58.441 [SPEAKER_01]: They were just very old school that way. 17:58.481 --> 18:00.462 [SPEAKER_01]: They were like, what's why, why would you move out? 18:00.482 --> 18:03.403 [SPEAKER_01]: Why would you spend money to have your own apartment be just live here? 18:03.483 --> 18:04.123 [SPEAKER_01]: That kind of stuff. 18:04.443 --> 18:07.864 [SPEAKER_01]: And the idea is, oh, if you're leaving, that means that you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing. 18:07.884 --> 18:09.185 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's like, I'm growing. 18:09.545 --> 18:09.865 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 18:10.025 --> 18:11.546 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like learning how to pay bills. 18:11.586 --> 18:12.506 [SPEAKER_01]: That's not a bad thing. 18:12.526 --> 18:14.647 [SPEAKER_01]: But I knew that those were not options for me. 18:15.607 --> 18:23.595 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I, my way out of my parents home, my way to level up and experience a new existence was through a man. 18:23.956 --> 18:30.402 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's something that for a really long time, once I started doing the work, pissed me the fuck off because I was like, 18:31.163 --> 18:37.005 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm capable of so much and I didn't, I shouldn't have needed a man to, you might take it out. 18:37.085 --> 18:45.308 [SPEAKER_01]: My friends should have seen that in me and known that I would have been fine and that I could be successful on my own, but they didn't give me that opportunity. 18:45.748 --> 18:48.609 [SPEAKER_01]: And in my 20s, I was still very much living a 18:49.509 --> 18:54.534 [SPEAKER_01]: life based on what is society expects of me as married woman.

18:54.554 --> 18:57.957 [SPEAKER_01]: I had kids and then we bought our house. 18:57.997 --> 19:03.622 [SPEAKER_01]: We moved to the suburbs and it was like I still was existing in that wasn't until my son got sick. 19:03.642 --> 19:04.643 [SPEAKER_01]: I was 31 years old. 19:05.004 --> 19:06.165 [SPEAKER_01]: My three old gets cancer. 19:06.185 --> 19:08.607 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm seven months postpartum, the baby's little. 19:08.647 --> 19:09.628 [SPEAKER_01]: He's still breastfeeding. 19:10.088 --> 19:27.577 [SPEAKER_01]: That I spent a lot of time thinking about myself and that was selfish, but I spent a lot of time just thinking about my existence and dealing with depression and postpartum depression and suicidal depression and all these things and I started to realize if I really think about who I am and think about my life and all of these things I had to 19:28.057 --> 19:37.819 [SPEAKER_01]: come to terms of the fact that I needed a man to get me through to get me here because I was my ticket out, but every single thing that I've accomplished is because of myself. 19:37.879 --> 19:40.560 [SPEAKER_01]: It's I am the mom that I am because of who I am. 19:40.640 --> 19:42.641 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not, yes, my husband is a wonderful person. 19:42.681 --> 19:46.182 [SPEAKER_01]: I love him to death, but it is me who did those things. 19:46.282 --> 19:48.342 [SPEAKER_01]: It is I accomplished those things. 19:48.562 --> 19:53.443 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's such an angry time initially when you're experiencing that. 19:53.583 --> 19:55.784 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, initially you just get really mad at your parents. 19:56.883 --> 20:11.529 [SPEAKER_01]: And then after a little while, you have to give grace to your parents, because you go, these are two people born in the 40s and 50s that experience multiple kinds of partition, multiple war, poverty in so many ways, immigrated three times, learned three different languages. 20:11.629 --> 20:13.750 [SPEAKER_01]: There's a lot of shit that they were going through. 20:13.770 --> 20:15.691 [SPEAKER_01]: And they were so scared being here. 20:15.731 --> 20:17.552 [SPEAKER_01]: And they were just trying to keep a roof over their head. 20:17.572 --> 20:19.753 [SPEAKER_01]: And they were trying to assimilate, because it was a 90s. 20:19.833 --> 20:21.693 [SPEAKER_01]: They're so much grace that then you give your parents. 20:21.713 --> 20:24.354 [SPEAKER_01]: And then once you give your parents grace, you start giving yourself grace. 20:25.756 --> 20:30.555 [SPEAKER_01]: yourself pats on the back and with the podcasting, this will connect. 20:31.831 --> 20:47.036 [SPEAKER_01]: that I once I started talking more and sharing my opinions and being myself, I felt less and less afraid of tapping into the different parts of me that I had been told to shut down and I became more confident in so many ways. 20:47.117 --> 20:47.957 [SPEAKER_01]: I loved hearing. 20:47.997 --> 20:49.958 [SPEAKER_01]: It goes yeah from you hate your voice too. 20:50.338 --> 20:51.778 [SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I really like my voice. 20:52.118 --> 20:53.619 [SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I'm looking funny. 20:53.979 --> 20:56.080 [SPEAKER_01]: And actually, I'm so smart. 20:57.000 --> 21:00.464 [SPEAKER_01]: Actually, my opinions are worth people listening to. 21:01.165 --> 21:13.677 [SPEAKER_01]: And that did such a number on my confidence in a good way that I feel like, yeah, like you just you end up then identifying taking time to give the different parts of you so much. 21:14.278 --> 21:15.920 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I am a Muslim woman. 21:16.420 --> 21:21.661 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm not afraid to be a Muslim woman who says bag, I wear whatever the fuck I want. 21:22.062 --> 21:29.063 [SPEAKER_01]: But also when my son was going through treatment, my relationship with God became very different because it was so personal. 21:29.924 --> 21:33.845 [SPEAKER_01]: And I found myself leaning into 21:34.845 --> 21:48.853 [SPEAKER_01]: The more I leaned into being a spiritual person, the less and less I felt weighed down by the conservative upbringing, the closer I felt to God, the less and less I needed institutionalized religion. 21:50.974 --> 21:59.042 [SPEAKER_01]: Once I came to terms with that, I didn't feel ashamed to say, oh, or I didn't feel afraid to say, I identify myself as a Muslim anymore, because I was like, I'm a Muslim based on the things that I believe. 21:59.362 --> 22:02.586 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a Muslim based on, because it's actually supposed to be a very personal relationship. 22:02.826 --> 22:06.369 [SPEAKER_01]: We go to a mosque now, which I roll my eyes about, because I don't really like mosque. 22:06.469 --> 22:10.613 [SPEAKER_01]: But we go to a mosque now, because the kids go to Sunday school, because my husband wanted them to go there. 22:11.154 --> 22:11.434 [SPEAKER_01]: But... 22:12.515 --> 22:20.183 [SPEAKER_01]: our experience with Sunday school is so fun because my kids are being raised in a house where they do not believe homosexuality is a sin. 22:20.983 --> 22:24.567 [SPEAKER_01]: Point blank period we just don't believe that in this house. 22:25.067 --> 22:26.269 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's a really big deal. 22:26.749 --> 22:30.473 [SPEAKER_01]: My kids will ask me all the time like we eat all me. 22:30.633 --> 22:32.675 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't believe it's a behaw hello. 22:32.795 --> 22:35.598 [SPEAKER_01]: My brothers, kids, my brother and his family is much more religious 22:37.119 --> 22:43.605 [SPEAKER_01]: My niece and mine, if you only eat to be her, and my kids will be like, Eastern, Ersa said that's hot on. 22:43.825 --> 22:46.747 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, it's not because it's not pork. 22:46.847 --> 22:50.210 [SPEAKER_01]: But I said, but they are just a little bit more religious than us. 22:50.270 --> 22:50.771 [SPEAKER_01]: That's okay. 22:50.971 --> 22:51.411 [SPEAKER_01]: It's all right. 22:51.551 --> 22:54.254 [SPEAKER_01]: It's and they just like to

support only Muslim businesses. 22:54.314 --> 22:55.054 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's their thing. 22:55.094 --> 22:56.135 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, only support both. 22:56.195 --> 22:56.716 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's okay. 22:57.256 --> 22:58.937 [SPEAKER_01]: And my kids are nine and 12 now. 22:58.957 --> 23:00.338 [SPEAKER_01]: They completely get it. 23:00.358 --> 23:05.322 [SPEAKER_01]: They completely understand it's so simple to experience those. 23:05.802 --> 23:06.462 [SPEAKER_01]: It's so simple. 23:06.722 --> 23:08.524 [SPEAKER_01]: Something that I thought was going to be a lot harder. 23:08.664 --> 23:11.426 [SPEAKER_01]: I thought they were going to go to Sunday school and come home with hobbies. 23:11.626 --> 23:12.026 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 23:12.566 --> 23:14.908 [SPEAKER_01]: I thought they were going to come home and be like, 23:16.332 --> 23:18.372 [SPEAKER_01]: Women should not be dry. 23:18.432 --> 23:20.093 [SPEAKER_01]: That's our career here. 23:20.733 --> 23:20.953 [SPEAKER_01]: Ugh! 23:20.973 --> 23:23.253 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm pretty going to the mosque with my son. 23:23.333 --> 23:26.794 [SPEAKER_01]: He said to me, Mama, how come you have to cover your hair and about doesn't? 23:26.814 --> 23:28.775 [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, good question. 23:29.415 --> 23:31.835 [SPEAKER_01]: That's a great question. 23:31.955 --> 23:32.895 [SPEAKER_01]: Great question. 23:32.975 --> 23:34.556 [SPEAKER_00]: How did he answer, actually? 23:34.796 --> 23:35.876 [SPEAKER_00]: How did he answer? 23:36.396 --> 23:38.797 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so my husband, because I was like, I don't know what the fuck to say to this. 23:38.857 --> 23:41.397 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, nothing that comes out of my mouth is going to be nice. 23:41.417 --> 23:45.178 [SPEAKER_01]: Because I'm going to say, I'm going to get going on the patriarchy and 23:45.798 --> 23:48.279 [SPEAKER_01]: misogyny and oppression and all this stuff. 23:48.359 --> 23:55.421 [SPEAKER_01]: And my husband said to me, or he said, guys, Mama covers her hair, but we also dress nicely when we go to the mosque. 23:56.061 --> 23:56.962 [SPEAKER_01]: He was like about it. 23:57.022 --> 24:00.903 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we're not going to wear our sweatpants and like our gym shorts to the mosque. 24:00.943 --> 24:04.884 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, we still present ourselves in a very nice way in front of God. 24:05.005 --> 24:07.685 [SPEAKER_01]: And he noticed that the kids were curious about it. 24:07.705 --> 24:12.207 [SPEAKER_01]: So now, when whenever we pray at home, if the kids pray with him, he has like thubs for that. 24:12.227 --> 24:14.608 [SPEAKER_01]: Like you have thubs and he's like put on your thubbed before 24:15.528 --> 24:20.009 [SPEAKER_01]: stand in prayer because he doesn't want them to think that there's not that's only something I specifically need to do. 24:20.229 --> 24:20.509 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 24:20.529 --> 24:25.310 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it's something that's something that only women are required to present themselves in part of God in a certain way. 24:25.330 --> 24:28.531 [SPEAKER_01]: And I told the kids I said, guys, that's just for standing in prayer. 24:28.551 --> 24:30.532 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, like I pray to God all the time. 24:30.732 --> 24:34.132 [SPEAKER_01]: I like do prayers at night before I go to sleep and my hair is not covered. 24:34.653 --> 24:36.593 [SPEAKER_01]: And I can read the Quran and all this stuff. 24:36.613 --> 24:37.773 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I can do all those things. 24:37.833 --> 24:39.074 [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't have to cover my hair. 24:39.234 --> 24:40.694 [SPEAKER_01]: And they were like, oh, okay. 24:40.714 --> 24:40.894 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 24:40.914 --> 24:41.734 [SPEAKER_01]: And it was such a simple 24:45.455 --> 24:54.905 [SPEAKER_01]: And like, it's been really nice to now at 40, have these conversations with my kids, like, make his learned something at Sunday School and they come home and immediately ask me about. 24:54.965 --> 24:55.966 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, is that right? 24:56.706 --> 24:57.307 [SPEAKER_01]: Is that correct? 24:57.367 --> 24:58.168 [SPEAKER_01]: Do we believe that? 24:58.188 --> 24:59.990 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, that's such a gift. 25:00.150 --> 25:04.935 [SPEAKER_00]: So that's just such a gift that you're giving to your kids, honestly, because I never had space to do that. 25:05.135 --> 25:06.677 [SPEAKER_00]: No, we didn't have space to do that. 25:07.437 --> 25:16.080 [SPEAKER_01]: because also my parents were trying to keep a roof off over her head in a different country at least for me and for us It's the least I can do is have a conversation with my kids. 25:16.100 --> 25:29.324 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we like yeah, I think that I've been saying lately And there's a few things that you said actually that I'd like to pick up on a technology But I was first I was thinking about the way you were talking about like the idea of I have to get married to begin living my life in my own which is something that like I 25:29.704 --> 25:44.406 [SPEAKER_00]: I have been thinking about my way because like I'm a person who I'm queer I'm non-binary but I present to the world like I don't care how people read me So whenever like someone else from my pronouns, I very much I don't mind do whatever because I think it's a very personal thing for myself. 25:44.586 --> 25:45.788 [SPEAKER_00]: It's how I conceive myself 25:46.268 --> 25:50.770 [SPEAKER_00]: But also, like, I think the way I exist in the world, I'm often just red as just masculine. 25:51.011 --> 25:52.011 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just red as boy. 25:52.291 --> 25:52.511 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 25:52.932 --> 25:53.852 [SPEAKER_00]: And there is that. 25:53.932 --> 26:00.075 [SPEAKER_00]: But also, I think it's also there's that dual way where, like, sometimes I'm not red as Arab or I'm just red as black because of that as well. 26:00.115 --> 26:06.379 [SPEAKER_00]: So, like, I have all these things happening that,

like, sometimes I felt myself, specifically, the West, like, I was saying, like, I've had to make a choice. 26:06.599 --> 26:07.840 [SPEAKER_00]: But also, I think. 26:08.990 --> 26:16.735 [SPEAKER_00]: When you were talking about the guilt you are feeling, when you made, well, when you felt like you had to make that decision and it worked out, thankfully. 26:17.135 --> 26:21.077 [SPEAKER_00]: I kept thinking also, I also occupied my privilege in a way to get out. 26:21.197 --> 26:25.980 [SPEAKER_00]: I had, I came here 15 years ago as a student and I was allowed to do that. 26:26.400 --> 26:52.538 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, it was like, I was the youngest boy and I was the one that like had access to these things and that is like something I did have to say the way I've claimed those positions to try and get by is something that I am very guilty about you know because it feels like a bit of a betrayal to different aspects of me and I think that is something that maybe like you relate to see where like you feel like you have to just betray one side of you just to exist in another and I do think that's sometimes that's something that not a lot of people really understand or reflect or 26:53.258 --> 26:57.279 [SPEAKER_00]: I just found about our position, specifically, like, are the world in our culture. 26:57.299 --> 27:00.119 [SPEAKER_00]: And that, yeah, sometimes you have to choose, that's why you want to say something, go on. 27:00.660 --> 27:03.600 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, I think so as you get older, you realize you don't have to choose. 27:03.860 --> 27:04.520 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah. 27:04.540 --> 27:05.000 [SPEAKER_01]: It's okay. 27:05.361 --> 27:08.141 [SPEAKER_01]: You take up space, however, you need to take up space in a safe world. 27:08.161 --> 27:08.441 [SPEAKER_01]: You're right. 27:08.501 --> 27:10.742 [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes it means very being very open. 27:10.842 --> 27:17.543 [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes, for you, it will be, you'll know that you're in a safe space where you can say, my pronouns are they them, whatever. 27:17.603 --> 27:18.703 [SPEAKER_01]: You can be more specific. 27:18.783 --> 27:21.104 [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes you're going to exist in spaces where you're going to say, 27:22.564 --> 27:30.626 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever they want to call me so I can get through this experience or get through this moment and move on to the next thing where I can be fully myself Yeah, there is so much happens in your 20s. 27:30.967 --> 27:42.910 [SPEAKER_01]: You're really trying to put in fit into the box and then you get to your 30s and then you're like fuck you You're gonna call me what I want to be called and then you get to your 40s and you go hey man I'm just trying to get what 27:43.390 --> 27:46.171 [SPEAKER_01]: And if not, means that I have to pretend for 10 minutes. 27:46.191 --> 27:46.832 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, fucking. 27:47.352 --> 27:49.113 [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, this is where I'm at now. 27:49.193 --> 27:50.273 [SPEAKER_00]: This is where I'm at now. 27:50.474 --> 27:52.254 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to get to tomorrow. 27:52.394 --> 27:53.735 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm trying to feed my cat. 27:54.095 --> 27:54.896 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to take care. 27:54.936 --> 27:56.096 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to dress myself. 27:56.196 --> 27:58.477 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just trying to get to the next position. 27:58.778 --> 27:59.518 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that. 27:59.958 --> 28:02.139 [SPEAKER_01]: You over there, but our skies are orange. 28:02.279 --> 28:03.439 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, and New Jersey. 28:03.499 --> 28:05.140 [SPEAKER_01]: The skies are orange. 28:05.440 --> 28:08.981 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a heat wave here Okay, there's a heat wave in the United. 28:09.061 --> 28:09.821 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm dying. 28:09.861 --> 28:10.462 [SPEAKER_00]: No, okay. 28:10.502 --> 28:16.464 [SPEAKER_00]: I did I don't want to live like this I moved here specifically for the rain and the cold not this bullshit. 28:16.564 --> 28:17.844 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do it I can't do it. 28:18.084 --> 28:19.065 [SPEAKER_00]: I also live by the sea. 28:19.105 --> 28:25.127 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know why I made this stupid decision to live by this sea because it's taking me back home And I left specifically for the fucking humidity. 28:25.387 --> 28:26.307 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't do it. 28:26.587 --> 28:27.207 [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry, anyway. 28:27.287 --> 28:28.188 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'll be human 28:29.688 --> 28:34.049 [SPEAKER_01]: No, that's the thing, yeah, we are just at this point at this juncture of where the world is. 28:34.149 --> 28:38.450 [SPEAKER_01]: We are just trying to get by and they're, you know, that thing about the trail. 28:38.470 --> 28:41.330 [SPEAKER_01]: You feel like I'm a train, part of yourself because you're shutting it down. 28:41.370 --> 28:54.313 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's, no, I think if we're gonna be tapping into our survival of the fittest, I think sometimes it's okay to fit temporarily, why, while honoring that you're only doing this just so you can survive and move on to the next. 28:54.353 --> 28:55.153 [SPEAKER_01]: This is you, no. 28:55.873 --> 28:56.754 [SPEAKER_01]: who you are. 28:56.914 --> 29:05.340 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, I always say I identify as a quiet queer because to be honest, I'm not experienced in openly queer life. 29:05.401 --> 29:10.144 [SPEAKER_01]: I have it and I'm protected by the privilege of being married to a man and never having to exist in that way. 29:10.164 --> 29:14.087 [SPEAKER_01]: Now, if tomorrow God forbid, I found myself single in some way. 29:14.788 --> 29:18.891 [SPEAKER_01]: I tell myself that I would exclusively date anybody who's not 29:21.855 --> 29:22.435 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 29:22.696 --> 29:24.817 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I would have that courage at that time. 29:24.877 --> 29:25.738 [SPEAKER_01]: I hope that I do. 29:25.918 --> 29:26.678 [SPEAKER_01]: I wish that I do. 29:26.739 --> 29:30.261

[SPEAKER_01]: It's also very easy for me to dream that life when I go, I have not face it. 29:30.701 --> 29:46.773 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I would hope that because of right now existed in a space where I've tried to be inclusive and tried to create open spaces for anybody of any identity to show up and be here that if tomorrow I found myself single, that nobody would be surprised. 29:47.373 --> 29:53.798 [SPEAKER_01]: If I was to be like, this is my girlfriend, or this is the person that I chosen to be with, I hope that would be the case. 29:54.178 --> 29:56.160 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that my family would be surprised. 29:56.500 --> 30:02.224 [SPEAKER_01]: I think they would be annoyed because they would think that my brothers would be like, you're only doing it to be special. 30:02.324 --> 30:05.967 [SPEAKER_00]: And I'd be like, no, a little bit, but no, not mainly. 30:06.087 --> 30:07.508 [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, no, no. 30:07.528 --> 30:10.771 [SPEAKER_01]: It might be my brothers ever said that, be like, okay, then you go suck a dick. 30:11.231 --> 30:12.012 [SPEAKER_01]: You go suck a dick. 30:12.999 --> 30:13.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Try it. 30:13.859 --> 30:14.900 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard. 30:15.060 --> 30:15.700 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really hard. 30:15.720 --> 30:16.321 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not a pun. 30:16.381 --> 30:16.941 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not joking. 30:17.241 --> 30:20.522 [SPEAKER_01]: Just a thought that you go try to be with me. 30:20.582 --> 30:21.263 [SPEAKER_00]: Do it. 30:21.283 --> 30:21.463 [SPEAKER_00]: Do it. 30:21.483 --> 30:22.283 [SPEAKER_00]: Trust me. 30:22.443 --> 30:23.343 [SPEAKER_00]: You think we chose this? 30:23.844 --> 30:24.744 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not fun. 30:25.124 --> 30:26.105 [SPEAKER_00]: You guys are not. 30:26.145 --> 30:26.865 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not good. 30:26.925 --> 30:27.705 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not good people. 30:28.065 --> 30:29.286 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not good people. 30:30.086 --> 30:36.751 [SPEAKER_01]: I probably says this all the time whenever any I'm sure you heard real say it, but and whenever he's with like Musk guy's at least anything or whatever. 30:36.871 --> 30:38.933 [SPEAKER_01]: He's like dude have you seen women? 30:39.373 --> 30:41.674 [SPEAKER_01]: Nobody wants to be with the man. 30:41.694 --> 30:42.755 [SPEAKER_01]: No. 30:42.775 --> 30:43.816 [SPEAKER_00]: No one would choose this. 30:43.956 --> 30:44.777 [SPEAKER_00]: I wouldn't choose no. 30:44.797 --> 30:45.237 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the start. 30:45.297 --> 30:56.285 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to spin it to I feel very much like Reina in the house of the dragon You know when she's just walking out of that hey shaken that's how I feel after I just I'm just out of a relationship This is how I walked out of that relationship to shake in 30:56.665 --> 31:07.552 [SPEAKER_00]: Like I've seen horrors that you've not seen, I've killed a young boy, a young little white boy has died because of me and it's not good People are after me with pitchforks And your parents are like your dad's like you look like shit 31:09.383 --> 31:10.603 [SPEAKER_00]: Please do not kiss me. 31:10.983 --> 31:12.484 [SPEAKER_00]: Please do not not me. 31:12.504 --> 31:14.544 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, we've seen too much of that season. 31:14.564 --> 31:16.084 [SPEAKER_00]: What is going on in that fucking show? 31:16.124 --> 31:20.665 [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, sorry, I have I have how so the dragon on my spirit because that's the good scene. 31:20.705 --> 31:37.508 [SPEAKER_00]: It's fun But what I was going to mention I think that also I wanted to pick up what you were talking about religion and the idea of self-defining because I was an early as something I'm only feeling comfortable claiming about myself But I and it was like yeah, it's interesting kind of journey and feeling like I need 31:39.018 --> 31:42.981 [SPEAKER_00]: that I am allowed to define exactly what Islam means for me. 31:43.201 --> 31:45.182 [SPEAKER_00]: And what being a Muslim is exactly. 31:45.302 --> 31:51.246 [SPEAKER_00]: And that is, I think, which is why I said, I think it's such a blessing that you're there for your kids to offer them that because we don't really have that. 31:51.307 --> 32:03.675 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think there's something largely that maybe we don't like talking about within Muslim culture is where we understand a specific definition that is like, and it's very hard to allow space for anything else amongst certain people and certain conversations. 32:03.815 --> 32:07.538 [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm just always really happy to see a flexible definition. 32:08.138 --> 32:09.518 [SPEAKER_00]: but also the growing definition. 32:10.459 --> 32:22.542 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I think that I think it's important to keep having those conversations, even if it makes people uncomfortable because even with my mom or my brother, my eldest brother, like, not so much my older brother, who's annoying. 32:22.843 --> 32:23.923 [SPEAKER_01]: But my mom, 32:25.468 --> 32:29.591 [SPEAKER_01]: girl, she's part of this, she's part of this lady's group. 32:30.372 --> 32:32.854 [SPEAKER_01]: And there, it's basically a Bible study except it's like Iran. 32:33.074 --> 32:33.334 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 32:33.394 --> 32:35.776 [SPEAKER_00]: And so what's up on these in person? 32:35.856 --> 32:36.316 [SPEAKER_00]: Basically. 32:36.356 --> 32:37.357 [SPEAKER_00]: What have on these? 32:37.377 --> 32:38.398 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what's on these? 32:38.438 --> 32:39.538 [SPEAKER_01]: They got on to women. 32:39.579 --> 32:53.008 [SPEAKER_01]: They, but they read, they read the Quran which translation and they've done a lot of fear and like they've done all this stuff and they really want to try to understand it and understand like what was going on when the prophet got this message and like they're really doing like the deep dive and stuff, right? 32:55.030 --> 32:56.951 [SPEAKER_01]: because it was making my mom a weirdo. 32:57.311 -->

33:01.554 [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, take down the pictures in the house, the angels aren't visiting. 33:01.634 --> 33:03.055 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, salute, we're not. 33:03.935 --> 33:05.656 [SPEAKER_01]: We're putting the pictures back up. 33:05.716 --> 33:08.918 [SPEAKER_00]: Not that he said rivalry poster, not that he said rivalry. 33:09.719 --> 33:10.559 [SPEAKER_01]: What's up, John? 33:11.239 --> 33:13.000 [SPEAKER_01]: Don't take time, I'll leave it. 33:13.040 --> 33:14.241 [SPEAKER_00]: Hudson stays up, okay? 33:14.281 --> 33:15.042 [SPEAKER_00]: I just let you know. 33:17.927 --> 33:20.269 [SPEAKER_01]: My mom's outer stories, but it's from God. 33:20.609 --> 33:22.931 [SPEAKER_01]: My mom was being weird. 33:23.071 --> 33:26.833 [SPEAKER_01]: My cousin was getting married and she was for her, had no party for her Mindy. 33:27.253 --> 33:31.336 [SPEAKER_01]: My mom was like, oh, I don't know if I can attend because boys and girls are gonna be dancing together. 33:31.356 --> 33:38.381 [SPEAKER_01]: And my cousin was like, I know you fucking like, I swear to God, she was like, when your kids got married, we all danced. 33:38.441 --> 33:40.402 [SPEAKER_01]: We all did go edge shit. 33:40.462 --> 33:44.525 [SPEAKER_01]: We all got blender and we did whatever we wanted. 33:44.805 --> 33:46.567 [SPEAKER_01]: And now for my wedding, I'm like, 33:47.487 --> 33:49.350 [SPEAKER_01]: Religious, she was like, you do that shit. 33:49.370 --> 33:50.151 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm never talking to you. 33:50.231 --> 33:55.417 [SPEAKER_01]: Unless, having a sense of humor, because my mom was like, Hey, I know, and on my during my cousin's wedding. 33:56.302 --> 34:00.126 [SPEAKER_01]: my mom, you could just tell she was fucking dying to get out in my dance works. 34:00.166 --> 34:02.868 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm lying to get on the dance work. 34:03.128 --> 34:06.872 [SPEAKER_01]: But then what she did is she found the 360 camera, Booth or whatever. 34:07.572 --> 34:11.236 [SPEAKER_01]: So she just got to ball out in the 360 camera with with her sisters. 34:11.696 --> 34:12.377 [SPEAKER_01]: And Booth and his stuff. 34:12.397 --> 34:13.718 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, bitch, you're dancing. 34:14.119 --> 34:15.560 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, you're on camera. 34:15.600 --> 34:17.402 [SPEAKER_00]: There's a record of it. 34:17.442 --> 34:18.322 [SPEAKER_00]: It's going all around. 34:18.342 --> 34:18.643 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. 34:19.123 --> 34:23.146 [SPEAKER_01]: low-fine, whatever, but so my mom, she was getting becoming a weirdo. 34:23.186 --> 34:24.186 [SPEAKER_01]: And I hate it. 34:24.346 --> 34:25.807 [SPEAKER_01]: And now she has cooled it down. 34:25.827 --> 34:29.650 [SPEAKER_01]: She's like, I got into a deep, I realized that it was weird. 34:29.670 --> 34:30.591 [SPEAKER_01]: She cooled it down. 34:31.431 --> 34:33.893 [SPEAKER_01]: And recently, I don't know when it was when we were talking about 34:35.196 --> 34:39.519 [SPEAKER_01]: really just text and about Islam and about homosexuality and queerness and all that kind of stuff. 34:40.460 --> 34:44.243 [SPEAKER_01]: My mom actually said to me on her own. 34:44.823 --> 34:51.208 [SPEAKER_01]: She was like, even during the profits time, there were companions of his that were allowed to be in front of the women. 34:51.848 --> 34:53.490 [SPEAKER_01]: Were allowed to be in front of 34:54.190 --> 35:03.195 [SPEAKER_01]: the females of their community and she said in the reading was it's because those were she said quote men who don't desire women. 35:03.515 --> 35:05.156 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, I don't know what that is. 35:05.296 --> 35:08.058 [SPEAKER_01]: Species. 35:08.138 --> 35:13.381 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they were gay or they were and she said the word asexual and I said, where did you learn that? 35:13.421 --> 35:15.362 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god, that is amazing. 35:16.236 --> 35:19.378 [SPEAKER_01]: Actually, it's not my body guys talked about it. 35:19.538 --> 35:34.229 [SPEAKER_01]: And then she told me that in Medina in front of the women section the men that guard that area are actually specifically either she said I don't know what their identity is, but they are supposed to be men who don't desire women 35:35.610 --> 35:46.476 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I said, oh, so there is a place in one of the holiest places in a pond for men to exist who don't identify as straight men who would desire women. 35:46.696 --> 35:49.558 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, oh, there you go. 35:49.578 --> 35:52.699 [SPEAKER_00]: And the thing is, and the thing is she did, and she said, no, that's right. 35:53.020 --> 35:55.621 [SPEAKER_01]: And she said, at the end of the day, if there's space for 35:59.203 --> 36:02.704 [SPEAKER_01]: someone to exist and what some of the holiest places and who are we to say anything. 36:02.744 --> 36:09.885 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you would not have had, you would never have arrived at this conversation or this belief. 36:09.926 --> 36:24.849 [SPEAKER_01]: You didn't actually take two steps deeper in and think about the fact that people of all orientation of all genders of all experiences of all walks of life have existed since before, even the prophet was born. 36:25.369 --> 36:27.171 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you wouldn't have had that. 36:27.551 --> 36:31.835 [SPEAKER_01]: If you were the kind of person that sat in a room and people said, oh, no, it's all her arm. 36:31.855 --> 36:32.856 [SPEAKER_01]: We cannot talk about it. 36:32.876 --> 36:33.757 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the end of it. 36:34.177 --> 36:36.179 [SPEAKER_01]: You would not have experiences. 36:36.219 --> 36:37.720 [SPEAKER_01]: You would not have had that light bulb. 36:37.760 --> 36:38.040 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 36:38.080 --> 36:40.242 [SPEAKER_01]: You would not have gotten to this conclusion. 36:40.282 --> 36:45.727 [SPEAKER_01]: We're now you have grace and mercy and love for somebody that you previously thought had no space in a song. 36:45.907 --> 36:46.948 [SPEAKER_01]:

Yeah, they're in my mom. 36:47.368 --> 36:48.208 [SPEAKER_01]: So she's getting there. 36:48.248 --> 36:49.749 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're it's possible. 36:49.809 --> 36:55.432 [SPEAKER_01]: It's just that the roads or the places where you could have that kind of come to that conclusion are they're so limited. 36:55.692 --> 37:09.380 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I think it's discouraged to actually partake in reflection and the things of these facts and these ideas because I think like you were saying, the thing that I, um, against is I don't like religious structures in general at the moment. 37:09.420 --> 37:11.101 [SPEAKER_00]: That is my issue, right? 37:11.181 --> 37:14.562 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I always say that I think if the devil is real and the devil 37:15.743 --> 37:30.826 [SPEAKER_00]: because really if you can get all the stories all our all all the lessons that different sort of cultures and religions try to teach each other they have similar bases and the things that masks them are all these these people these people as man means that yes man means that's it yeah and they are 37:32.027 --> 38:00.432 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm just going to say like for my research, so for my PhD, I basically researched the lives today of Arab men of sex with men in the Gulf today, and so I ended up doing a lot of research about just the history of queer people in the region and the long history and the way that they were like shunted and cut out of these texts and these stories and just from public life and existence and the way that we ended up having this kind of veil, lift place on us culturally to keep us from discussing these things. 38:00.772 --> 38:02.914 [SPEAKER_00]: to keep us so that we can maintain the status quo. 38:03.294 --> 38:07.458 [SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, I really, I get what you're saying because it is something that requires reflection. 38:07.958 --> 38:09.860 [SPEAKER_00]: And it's really great that your mother has that opportunity. 38:09.880 --> 38:16.226 [SPEAKER_00]: I just think a lot of people don't think that that's like Islamic, that actually think about the things that you were being taught. 38:16.486 --> 38:20.609 [SPEAKER_00]: And the religion that you have to raise with around you, which is so foreign to me. 38:20.669 --> 38:21.270 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just so weak. 38:21.390 --> 38:22.131 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 38:22.191 --> 38:23.031 [SPEAKER_00]: It's really weird. 38:23.912 --> 38:30.720 [SPEAKER_01]: It's so interesting to me that a religion that was literally rooted in just creating peaceful existence. 38:30.761 --> 38:31.041 [SPEAKER_01]: Me. 38:31.782 --> 38:31.982 [SPEAKER_01]: Eee. 38:32.623 --> 38:34.245 [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, stop killing the girls. 38:34.645 --> 38:36.568 [SPEAKER_01]: Stop burying your daughter's alive. 38:36.728 --> 38:37.529 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like laborers. 38:37.629 --> 38:38.410 [SPEAKER_00]: It may be bad. 38:38.730 --> 38:39.191 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 38:39.251 --> 38:39.892 [SPEAKER_01]: Like it sucks. 38:40.232 --> 38:40.712 [SPEAKER_01]: They breathe. 38:41.052 --> 38:42.733 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, so they breathe not good. 38:42.753 --> 38:44.994 [SPEAKER_01]: They're firing your daughter's live, not great. 38:45.094 --> 38:46.855 [SPEAKER_01]: Stop fighting with each other, please. 38:46.995 --> 38:50.697 [SPEAKER_01]: Stop, stop worshiping things that make you hate each other. 38:50.917 --> 39:00.361 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's so interesting because I think the structure of Islam, the way that we see it in modern existence, first of all, Erase is women from all of the texts. 39:00.421 --> 39:03.703 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you've ever read the book, but you may have it's called Hijab, butch blues. 39:03.923 --> 39:06.204 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes, I did, Blamia, right? 39:07.045 --> 39:11.567 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, love that book, love that book, love the book. 39:11.807 --> 39:17.669 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, spoiler, we're entering or warning the second chapter of it starts with so Maryam was gay. 39:17.689 --> 39:18.090 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 39:18.150 --> 39:20.471 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I love that, right? 39:20.491 --> 39:24.992 [SPEAKER_01]: Like I love that we're talking about the women of Islam, right? 39:25.072 --> 39:25.953 [SPEAKER_01]: And like I think that 39:26.973 --> 39:30.854 [SPEAKER_01]: I always, I always ask whenever there's certain rules, right? 39:31.894 --> 39:34.475 [SPEAKER_01]: You have to pray this way or you have to do this thing. 39:34.495 --> 39:36.816 [SPEAKER_01]: I go, weird, weird, when did it say that? 39:36.916 --> 39:37.916 [SPEAKER_01]: It's actually recently. 39:38.516 --> 39:40.016 [SPEAKER_01]: My son loves crazy guitar. 39:40.537 --> 39:42.477 [SPEAKER_01]: And he wants to paint his fingernails. 39:42.657 --> 39:49.059 [SPEAKER_01]: And so I said, let's do that over the summer when you're not going to a Sunday school, because some ladies, somebody's going to yell you, I don't want to have you do anything. 39:49.519 --> 39:53.380 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, you can paint your nails in the summer time because you want to black nails because you play as guitars. 39:53.540 --> 39:54.140 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely. 39:54.600 --> 39:58.603 [SPEAKER_01]: And so he said, Mama, you said that nail polish is not her arm, right? 39:58.623 --> 40:01.606 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, yeah, and he was, and I know that my cousins are more religious than us. 40:01.646 --> 40:02.987 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, they're not more religious. 40:03.007 --> 40:04.848 [SPEAKER_01]: They're just, they do religion differently. 40:05.509 --> 40:13.355 [SPEAKER_01]: And he said, but what if one day we find out that they were right and that Allah does not like boys that were nail polish. 40:13.395 --> 40:15.897 [SPEAKER_01]: And I immediately said, the ground doesn't say anything, my nail polish. 40:16.058 --> 40:16.298 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 40:16.990 --> 40:19.251 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, the nail polish is not mentioned in the crown.

40:19.371 --> 40:19.991 [SPEAKER_01]: You're good. 40:20.251 --> 40:20.511 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 40:20.551 --> 40:21.052 [SPEAKER_00]: You're all right. 40:21.832 --> 40:22.792 [SPEAKER_00]: They didn't have that then. 40:22.892 --> 40:25.633 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, it's just totally fine. 40:26.013 --> 40:28.234 [SPEAKER_01]: And so even on the topic of nails, right? 40:28.714 --> 40:32.916 [SPEAKER_01]: I got my nails done, and there's so many aunties that are like, you're with who does not count. 40:32.936 --> 40:33.376 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 40:33.436 --> 40:34.476 [SPEAKER_01]: You had nail polish on. 40:34.536 --> 40:35.657 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, who said that? 40:36.097 --> 40:36.838 [SPEAKER_00]: Leave me alone. 40:36.858 --> 40:38.520 [SPEAKER_00]: Leave us alone, Dad. 40:38.540 --> 40:39.521 [SPEAKER_01]: God, leave me alone. 40:39.541 --> 40:41.584 [SPEAKER_01]: Secondly, who said that? 40:41.764 --> 40:42.044 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 40:42.265 --> 40:42.906 [SPEAKER_01]: Who said that? 40:43.006 --> 40:44.507 [SPEAKER_01]: This scholar, a man? 40:44.548 --> 40:45.929 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, just some man. 40:46.129 --> 40:46.830 [SPEAKER_00]: Who hates you? 40:46.950 --> 40:49.113 [SPEAKER_00]: And hates the thought of your existence, by the way. 40:49.413 --> 40:50.094 [SPEAKER_00]: Decided this. 40:50.875 --> 40:51.176 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 40:52.098 --> 40:52.498 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. 40:52.758 --> 40:54.861 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'd rather be dead than listening to them. 40:54.961 --> 41:07.875 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I just think it's and that's when you ask who told you that where did you learn that what it this is so stupid It's so specific and I feel like your listeners are gonna be like these two fuckers I'm talking about the religion, but okay, listen 41:08.495 --> 41:10.257 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the point of the episode, though, dig in. 41:10.377 --> 41:19.484 [SPEAKER_01]: No, one of the things that you're taught, and it's so funny because these are things that you're taught after you get married, some of you will come and talk about it or like your mom will start talking about it before. 41:19.744 --> 41:21.826 [SPEAKER_01]: It's never about sex in the business. 41:21.886 --> 41:26.410 [SPEAKER_01]: It's more how women need to clean themselves after they have sex before they can pray. 41:26.790 --> 41:27.191 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 41:27.371 --> 41:29.473 [SPEAKER_01]: And so it's called whistle, right? 41:29.533 --> 41:34.458 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, oh, when you do that because I thought you'd just do an ablution and then go and go back to this. 41:34.498 --> 41:39.063 [SPEAKER_01]: No, apparently you have to wash your body from head to toe. 41:39.083 --> 41:39.564 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 41:39.624 --> 41:42.327 [SPEAKER_01]: And then do with it and then you can pray, right? 41:43.348 --> 41:46.531 [SPEAKER_01]: And there's all these aunties that are like you have to wash your hair. 41:47.297 --> 41:48.599 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, why don't I have to wash my hair? 41:48.619 --> 41:50.641 [SPEAKER_01]: What does my hair have with my vagina? 41:50.862 --> 41:51.803 [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't make any sense. 41:52.484 --> 41:53.885 [SPEAKER_01]: And they were like, no, you have to wash your hair. 41:54.206 --> 41:58.331 [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, like, how much are you saying I scrub my scalp? 41:58.431 --> 42:02.456 [SPEAKER_01]: Are you saying I just need what my hands and just do when the shampoo is in a wash day? 42:02.476 --> 42:03.357 [SPEAKER_00]: Kind of situation. 42:03.397 --> 42:03.998 [SPEAKER_00]: What are we doing? 42:05.119 --> 42:17.816 [SPEAKER_01]: That seems really that feels like a barrier to sex then yeah, like then I'm not gonna sleep with my husband Then my husband only gets to sleep with me when my hair is disgusting because if I've just done a fresh blow out You absolutely cannot touch me because I'm not messing with that. 42:17.856 --> 42:19.658 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what am I and so my 42:20.259 --> 42:23.963 [SPEAKER_01]: I asked these questions and there's so many women there like, no, that's just what you're supposed to do. 42:24.163 --> 42:25.544 [SPEAKER_01]: I googled it and that's what you're supposed to do. 42:25.564 --> 42:27.646 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, who told you that? 42:27.666 --> 42:29.388 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we're not supposed to do anything. 42:29.508 --> 42:30.809 [SPEAKER_00]: We're not supposed to do anything. 42:30.829 --> 42:31.730 [SPEAKER_00]: We just do things. 42:31.770 --> 42:35.594 [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes we just have decided that a situation and that means that it's the only way to do things. 42:35.654 --> 42:36.195 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not true. 42:36.535 --> 42:37.035 [SPEAKER_00]: It's not true. 42:37.075 --> 42:37.996 [SPEAKER_00]: That's just a fallacy. 42:38.257 --> 42:38.537 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 42:38.857 --> 42:48.842 [SPEAKER_01]: And I said, I'm fairly certain that at the time that these rules were being established at the time of the prophet, they did not have access to this amount of water doing a full wash day. 42:48.863 --> 42:51.744 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I mean, that's why they have like backups till they will lose sand. 42:51.784 --> 42:54.386 [SPEAKER_00]: If you need it to, if you're in the desert, like, I can't. 42:54.946 --> 42:56.126 [SPEAKER_01]: I can't love it the young mom. 42:56.146 --> 42:56.247 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 42:56.367 --> 42:57.207 [SPEAKER_01]: We'll do a wedding. 42:57.407 --> 42:58.688 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're like, we don't have woo-hoo. 42:58.728 --> 42:59.668 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, just remember him. 43:01.713 --> 43:02.813 [SPEAKER_00]: I think the count is fun. 43:03.254 --> 43:06.635 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're like, my 12 in my nine year old, tool to like, with my 12 year old. 43:06.655 --> 43:07.856 [SPEAKER_01]: He was put the bathrooms right there. 43:07.876 --> 43:12.397 [SPEAKER_01]: I said, if you want to roll up your sleeves and get it all wet, that's why I think it's

okay fine. 43:12.898 --> 43:15.519 [SPEAKER_01]: So like, I ask these questions. 43:15.699 --> 43:17.179 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, I'm not doing it. 43:17.319 --> 43:22.582 [SPEAKER_01]: And the thing is, I am at the point of my life where I don't feel guilty about it. 43:22.722 --> 43:23.082 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't. 43:23.542 --> 43:24.802 [SPEAKER_01]: Whatever I need to do to 43:26.463 --> 43:31.287 [SPEAKER_01]: If you're creating a barrier to get in front of God, then I don't think that's appropriate in any part. 43:31.447 --> 43:36.871 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't think that's the point of religion is supposed to be to put barriers to keep you from having a connection to God. 43:36.892 --> 43:44.538 [SPEAKER_01]: And if things that I need to do this and do that and wear this and cover my hair and do all these things before I can get in front of God, then 43:45.718 --> 43:57.901 [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't even make sense because the whole point of all of this is supposed to be, you think about God all the time in your life thinking about being the best that you can be because of the gifts that God has given you. 43:58.081 --> 43:58.261 [SPEAKER_01]: Right? 43:58.281 --> 44:03.182 [SPEAKER_01]: But it's not supposed to be like, these are, you're putting barriers to religion. 44:03.422 --> 44:11.264 [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't, within you, in fact, that's also why me, this idea that queer people didn't have a place in Islam or queer people shouldn't be 44:15.125 --> 44:30.943 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that to me seems so crazy because what are you doing then you're then a whole point of the way we learned about Islam is you do that way and you tell people about your religion and you get as many people to believe the religion you're supposed to be presenting yourself as a good Muslim so people are impressed by you and all this stuff like 44:31.804 --> 44:38.329 [SPEAKER_01]: why are you then creating barriers to religion and for me that was such a big thing of I'm not going to do anything anymore. 44:38.389 --> 44:46.394 [SPEAKER_01]: They keep me from being closer to God and the more closer I am, the more inclusive I make the spaces around me to say anybody could be in here. 44:46.615 --> 44:54.981 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because really all we're really doing with these rules and these codes is just finding ways to make us feel better about someone else, about ourselves compared to someone else. 44:55.141 --> 44:56.181 [SPEAKER_00]: It's just like a superiority. 44:56.201 --> 44:57.362 [SPEAKER_00]: That's all it is. 44:57.382 --> 44:58.423 [SPEAKER_00]: It's like a superiority thing. 44:58.483 --> 44:59.144 [SPEAKER_00]: It operates 44:59.924 --> 45:01.325 [SPEAKER_00]: in a lot of different ways. 45:01.365 --> 45:10.589 [SPEAKER_00]: When you were talking about that story about your nails, it made me think, so the one time I remember I had an Islamic teacher who took me to a side corner one day. 45:10.710 --> 45:14.231 [SPEAKER_00]: And she told me she was like, you want to tell me a little story about gay people. 45:14.251 --> 45:15.212 [SPEAKER_00]: The house so bad. 45:15.232 --> 45:16.993 [SPEAKER_00]: She told me gay people, you know what happens to them? 45:17.353 --> 45:19.434 [SPEAKER_00]: A tree grows from inside them. 45:20.014 --> 45:21.295 [SPEAKER_00]: And the worst out of their mouth. 45:21.715 --> 45:23.056 [SPEAKER_00]: And after one of the grave. 45:23.536 --> 45:26.557 [SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, okay, that feels like a lot of fantasy and fallacy. 45:26.577 --> 45:27.418 [SPEAKER_00]: I also fabulous. 45:27.758 --> 45:29.439 [SPEAKER_00]: If I'm like just poison eyes being good about it. 45:29.859 --> 45:32.461 [SPEAKER_01]: You're strange that I'm a blooming flower. 45:32.821 --> 45:33.802 [SPEAKER_00]: That's so sweet. 45:33.942 --> 45:34.842 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I pleased with Ivy? 45:35.002 --> 45:35.483 [SPEAKER_00]: Wait a minute. 45:35.543 --> 45:36.043 [SPEAKER_00]: Am I her? 45:36.163 --> 45:36.703 [SPEAKER_00]: Of course. 45:38.785 --> 45:39.825 [SPEAKER_00]: It was a very stupid will. 45:39.845 --> 45:41.767 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it's these interesting ways to go. 45:41.787 --> 45:45.669 [SPEAKER_00]: But one thing I actually wanted to lead us to, because I noticed we were on 50 minutes now. 45:45.689 --> 45:49.992 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to hold you for too long, but I do want to get a bit of pop culture chat. 45:50.392 --> 45:53.294 [SPEAKER_00]: One thing that I think has been a gift of 45:53.714 --> 46:11.889 [SPEAKER_00]: our position, our situation in this world, in the West, is that I think it let us have, I think it gave us a perspective where we're able to look at hypocrisy because the thing that always strikes me in the UK is just how similar it is to the way people go about their business in the Gulf and in the Middle East. 46:11.909 --> 46:17.514 [SPEAKER_00]: You know, I was just like, oh, the misogyny operates in a different way, but it's still here and it just 46:17.894 --> 46:26.140 [SPEAKER_00]: isn't serious in this way and the only reason you're not recognizing that fact is because you want to feel superior as a Western person as opposed to the Middle East and obviously live in America. 46:26.240 --> 46:28.922 [SPEAKER_00]: I think you know that not to say that the UK is any fucking better. 46:29.262 --> 46:40.069 [SPEAKER_00]: It's transpride tomorrow and we're the group chat for the transpride committee is all chatting about how like how we're going to prepare for the influx of these white women turf that are just going to be trying to get us to stop marching. 46:40.430 --> 46:42.571 [SPEAKER_00]: So it's like, I do think, yeah, I position 46:45.095 --> 46:53.604 [SPEAKER_00]: position to be able to, I think, spot these hypocrisy, which is why I think I particularly recommend people into the reality is because that's the funnest part of reality TV. 46:53.945 --> 46:54.185 [SPEAKER_00]: Right? 46:54.285 --> 46:55.727 [SPEAKER_00]: Is that you get to

judge people? 46:55.967 --> 46:57.689 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think we're just really good judges of people. 46:57.749 --> 47:04.176 [SPEAKER_00]: We were talking a little bit earlier about the valley and can we just do like quick 15 minutes about what the fuck is going on? 47:04.276 --> 47:05.217 [SPEAKER_00]: What are they okay? 47:06.170 --> 47:08.572 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I think the great one says go on. 47:08.592 --> 47:08.932 [SPEAKER_00]: Sorry. 47:08.952 --> 47:09.532 [SPEAKER_00]: Go on. 47:09.572 --> 47:09.833 [SPEAKER_01]: Go ahead. 47:09.853 --> 47:10.133 [SPEAKER_01]: Say it. 47:10.153 --> 47:11.134 [SPEAKER_01]: What's the great one said? 47:11.194 --> 47:15.957 [SPEAKER_00]: I just feel like the great one said thing about this show is that you're all alcoholics, right? 47:16.237 --> 47:17.398 [SPEAKER_00]: That's the problem here. 47:17.538 --> 47:19.059 [SPEAKER_00]: So why are we doing any of this? 47:19.119 --> 47:22.061 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, can we just get rid of Danny and Neo? 47:22.101 --> 47:23.582 [SPEAKER_00]: Because I just can't do it anymore. 47:23.862 --> 47:28.806 [SPEAKER_00]: Every time I hear their voice, it is the worst sounds that I have ever endured. 47:28.906 --> 47:30.467 [SPEAKER_00]: Where are you feeling about the season of the valley? 47:30.487 --> 47:31.888 [SPEAKER_00]: So why the latest episode as well? 47:32.317 --> 47:37.218 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so first of all, I started watching the Valley and I said, I don't want to watch how you do go through the problems. 47:37.238 --> 47:39.419 [SPEAKER_01]: Pression and the reason why is not because I think it's important. 47:39.439 --> 47:43.560 [SPEAKER_01]: I think it's really great because it's not helping Kristen be a better person. 47:43.840 --> 47:48.302 [SPEAKER_01]: And I did post this on threads and I believe that it's true that we need to remember that Kristen Doty. 47:49.142 --> 47:52.323 [SPEAKER_01]: is she is a chameleon when it comes to friendships. 47:52.363 --> 47:56.044 [SPEAKER_01]: Whoever her best friend is, she will sign off on everything they do. 47:56.184 --> 47:59.265 [SPEAKER_01]: The most saucy, faith, phone call to the police thing. 47:59.385 --> 47:59.665 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 47:59.865 --> 48:03.867 [SPEAKER_01]: All of that was Kristen Dodie trying to be saucy's bestie. 48:04.367 --> 48:07.628 [SPEAKER_01]: All of the stuff that she's saying, oh, I just haven't had that experience with Danny. 48:07.848 --> 48:08.068 [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. 48:08.228 --> 48:11.449 [SPEAKER_01]: Is insane to me because you know better. 48:11.529 --> 48:13.150 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what's right and what's wrong. 48:13.210 --> 48:17.471 [SPEAKER_01]: But the thing is, she's got this, I think, instel boyfriend, baby daddy. 48:17.911 --> 48:19.172 [SPEAKER_01]: And then, thank you. 48:19.192 --> 48:20.113 [SPEAKER_01]: That's friends with us. 48:20.133 --> 48:20.593 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thank you. 48:20.613 --> 48:23.895 [SPEAKER_01]: And then go, yeah, then go look in

us, bit. 48:24.836 --> 48:27.898 [SPEAKER_01]: Colorado, he's, by the way, 34 years old. 48:27.958 --> 48:29.479 [SPEAKER_00]: He's not 34 years old. 48:29.739 --> 48:30.400 [SPEAKER_00]: Come on now. 48:30.420 --> 48:31.841 [SPEAKER_00]: We're massaging that one. 48:31.901 --> 48:36.264 [SPEAKER_01]: Sir, no, no, no, no, get out of here. 48:36.784 --> 48:38.485 [SPEAKER_01]: Allegedly 34 years old. 48:38.505 --> 48:39.726 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, to be fair, he is white. 48:39.806 --> 48:41.107 [SPEAKER_00]: So they do age like goat milk. 48:41.127 --> 48:43.349 [SPEAKER_00]: Like it's not a good situation for them. 48:43.389 --> 48:45.130 [SPEAKER_00]: So he could be like 12 for all we know. 48:45.370 --> 48:45.850 [SPEAKER_00]: He might be 18. 48:47.397 --> 49:02.378 [SPEAKER_01]: Honestly, and also he doesn't seem like a person who believes in sunscreen, so I feel like he's just roasting himself and just like he looks that way, but she has this in cell baby daddy who's now besties with this other in cell husband Danny who is from Michigan, but talks like he's from Texas or Oklahoma, it's very 49:03.179 --> 49:13.487 [SPEAKER_01]: And then they've got this page and girly wife, Nia, who's her best friend and the thing is she needs to find people who who are going through the exact same experiences her, right? 49:13.507 --> 49:14.648 [SPEAKER_01]: So she's going through postpartum. 49:14.668 --> 49:15.969 [SPEAKER_01]: Nia's going through postpartum. 49:16.389 --> 49:18.031 [SPEAKER_01]: Nia's got an intel husband. 49:18.051 --> 49:19.352 [SPEAKER_01]: She's got an intel boyfriend. 49:19.772 --> 49:23.235 [SPEAKER_01]: they need to find each other and be with each other and they really need to connect with each other. 49:23.256 --> 49:28.160 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that more than connecting with men, Kristen needs to connect with women a lot more. 49:28.701 --> 49:34.987 [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, there's something that I'm packed there that I don't think Kristen's going to want to unpack, but I think that she ultimately 49:35.487 --> 49:46.696 [SPEAKER_01]: desires more of the validation from the women that she's around than any of them in and so even with her ability to pop off on Luke and put him down and whatever, she would never do that to Nia because she needs Nia. 49:47.056 --> 49:51.340 [SPEAKER_01]: She needs that female validation which I think is also attracted to Nia. 49:54.927 --> 49:55.367 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I know. 49:55.607 --> 49:56.768 [SPEAKER_01]: He's in love with her. 49:56.888 --> 49:58.529 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, he is in love with her. 49:58.549 --> 49:59.189 [SPEAKER_01]: That's it. 49:59.369 --> 50:02.150 [SPEAKER_01]: By the way, Mia was on Fox News. 50:02.250 --> 50:03.250 [SPEAKER_00]: I saw that. 50:03.430 --> 50:05.951 [SPEAKER_00]: I didn't see the interview, but what is happening? 50:06.412 --> 50:06.912 [SPEAKER_00]: What is there? 50:07.112 --> 50:07.632 [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know. 50:08.152 --> 50:11.114 [SPEAKER_01]: He

was like parent, married, just hard, but you work on it. 50:11.134 --> 50:12.374 [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm such a big fan of therapy. 50:12.414 --> 50:14.475 [SPEAKER_01]: And me and my husband, we do not want to know. 50:14.495 --> 50:17.796 [SPEAKER_00]: We do a lot, Danny and I, but I love him out. 50:17.956 --> 50:18.597 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. 50:19.797 --> 50:20.438 [SPEAKER_01]: Daniel. 50:20.738 --> 50:21.960 [SPEAKER_00]: Daniel, please Daniel. 50:22.400 --> 50:22.620 [SPEAKER_00]: No. 50:22.640 --> 50:23.021 [SPEAKER_00]: Daniel. 50:23.081 --> 50:24.222 [SPEAKER_00]: I hate to get up. 50:24.502 --> 50:25.083 [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god. 50:25.123 --> 50:29.748 [SPEAKER_01]: But by the way, I know Kristen is in love with them because now Kristen has started saying Daniel. 50:29.788 --> 50:30.609 [SPEAKER_01]: Instead of Daniel. 50:30.649 --> 50:30.930 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like. 50:31.988 --> 50:33.668 [SPEAKER_01]: has not even your husband, that's so weird. 50:33.828 --> 50:54.753 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that, and far beyond for me to support what Lola Camp has to say, but I think Lola really clocked it this episode where she was like, I think Kristen has been in the comments and she's really traumatized from people fairly dragging her and so she just people love Danny and Mia, I'm in, which is the choice, I think, because especially with the viewership of this show, everybody's so quick to change their mind. 50:54.954 --> 50:56.934 [SPEAKER_00]: I've always known those two cannot be trusted, by the way. 50:57.274 --> 51:00.499 [SPEAKER_00]: Danny, you know, there was something in that bucket that smelled right. 51:00.539 --> 51:04.725 [SPEAKER_00]: I just, yeah, I'm glad it's finally peeking out because we were being way way too nice to work them. 51:04.985 --> 51:06.628 [SPEAKER_00]: I can't believe there's so many defenders for them. 51:06.968 --> 51:07.729 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll align still. 51:08.799 --> 51:10.821 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe I'll be a jerk for saying something. 51:10.841 --> 51:13.523 [SPEAKER_01]: But I just feel like people that procreate that much are weird. 51:13.563 --> 51:14.624 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you're right. 51:14.884 --> 51:15.245 [SPEAKER_00]: You're right. 51:15.265 --> 51:16.606 [SPEAKER_00]: It's going to be quiverful. 51:16.646 --> 51:18.027 [SPEAKER_00]: Like why do we need another? 51:18.368 --> 51:24.773 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, I really found that scene where he got all the boys together to worship his balls before the second one. 51:24.793 --> 51:25.594 [SPEAKER_00]: That was okay. 51:25.714 --> 51:26.615 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry, not weird. 51:26.675 --> 51:27.456 [SPEAKER_00]: It was weird, yes. 51:27.636 --> 51:28.677 [SPEAKER_00]: But also so gay. 51:29.578 --> 51:32.600 [SPEAKER_00]: That was the most homosexual thing that I've seen on that show and Zach's there. 51:32.981 --> 51:33.341 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. 51:33.441 --> 51:34.202 [SPEAKER_00]: What is that? 51:34.922 --> 51:37.424 [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, yeah, I don't like

it whenever the men get together. 51:37.464 --> 51:43.228 [SPEAKER_00]: I just get it keep on it just feels Insolent like you're saying No, we should not let men be together. 51:43.248 --> 51:57.018 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I don't think I don't think that we should ever allow men to congregate in more than one I think you were gonna go for two maybe three she said one she said one 51:58.887 --> 52:16.318 [SPEAKER_01]: I was saying the other day, I think we need to bring back scared straight, except instead of a big muscular man yelling at kids, I think it needs to be like a badass, a group of badass women like Natalie Nunn and the baddies need to come together and put these, you know, these ice detention centers that they're making, okay. 52:16.718 --> 52:17.778 [SPEAKER_01]: Let the immigrants live their life. 52:17.798 --> 52:20.019 [SPEAKER_01]: The ISA tension centers are now going to be for insults. 52:20.059 --> 52:21.019 [SPEAKER_01]: And they're all going to go in there. 52:21.339 --> 52:24.620 [SPEAKER_01]: And the badass women are just going to yell at them and make them understand how. 52:24.801 --> 52:26.501 [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to teach you about what periods look like. 52:26.661 --> 52:27.981 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to know what a uterus is. 52:28.182 --> 52:29.342 [SPEAKER_01]: You're going to learn that consent. 52:29.522 --> 52:30.582 [SPEAKER_01]: We're going to yell at you about it. 52:30.602 --> 52:32.003 [SPEAKER_01]: Because that's what I think needs to happen. 52:32.063 --> 52:37.905 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that we need to start policing men the way that they try to police women for censure. 52:38.305 --> 52:38.885 [SPEAKER_00]: I agree. 52:39.485 --> 52:40.346 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll take it too. 52:40.426 --> 52:42.567 [SPEAKER_00]: I get I present his nail on these streets. 52:42.647 --> 52:43.047 [SPEAKER_00]: That's fine. 52:43.067 --> 52:43.567 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll take it. 52:43.607 --> 52:44.668 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll take one for the team. 52:44.788 --> 52:45.488 [SPEAKER_00]: Enough is enough. 52:46.069 --> 52:46.889 [SPEAKER_00]: Enough is enough. 52:46.909 --> 52:48.170 [SPEAKER_00]: You have had too much. 52:48.510 --> 52:50.151 [SPEAKER_00]: You have done so little with it. 52:50.751 --> 52:51.752 [SPEAKER_00]: And I hate all of you. 52:51.832 --> 52:52.352 [SPEAKER_00]: I hate all of you. 52:52.552 --> 52:56.935 [SPEAKER_00]: Every single man that has been in contact with Lisa Vanderbubb needs to be rounded up. 52:58.390 --> 52:58.750 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you. 52:58.770 --> 52:59.530 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's start there. 52:59.790 --> 53:00.611 [SPEAKER_01]: Let's start there. 53:00.631 --> 53:02.271 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so start it, sir. 53:02.551 --> 53:03.231 [SPEAKER_00]: Then go to pump. 53:03.331 --> 53:04.772 [SPEAKER_00]: It's Tom Tom still a little bit. 53:04.872 --> 53:07.713 [SPEAKER_00]: Also, I just need to save this out now. 53:07.913 --> 53:10.113 [SPEAKER_00]: I just people don't hate Tom shorts enough. 53:10.574 --> 53:11.374 [SPEAKER_00]: We need to hate him more. 53:11.394 --> 53:11.754 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you. 53:12.014 --> 53:13.694 [SPEAKER_00]: We need he's a bad person. 53:13.895 --> 53:14.895 [SPEAKER_00]: He's a bad person. 53:14.935 --> 53:15.215 [SPEAKER_00]: Go on. 53:15.595 --> 53:15.935 [SPEAKER_01]: What? 53:16.315 --> 53:27.002 [SPEAKER_01]: I will say this last episode somehow the voice of her isn't being like, I don't know, like Luke and hugging Jesse Lally all these guys being like, oh, now Janet's talking about her trauma. 53:27.182 --> 53:29.543 [SPEAKER_01]: That's even convenient. 53:29.643 --> 53:31.044 [SPEAKER_01]: And we should do that. 53:31.104 --> 53:34.586 [SPEAKER_01]: I think that if somebody is expressing their trauma, we should listen to it and make space for it. 53:34.666 --> 53:37.908 [SPEAKER_00]: I just still think that I think he's just saying that because the camera's on him. 53:38.188 --> 53:43.652 [SPEAKER_00]: I just yeah, I can see his I'll just that thing the puppy dog golden retriever Bullshit thing. 53:43.932 --> 53:45.453 [SPEAKER_00]: I just really want to fucking punch him. 53:45.533 --> 53:54.899 [SPEAKER_00]: I just I don't like I don't like it Also Zach desperately need some gay friends like desperately like enough of this I just how do you feel how do you feel about Zach on this? 53:54.919 --> 53:55.780 [SPEAKER_00]: You're he's done nothing to see 53:56.553 --> 53:57.834 [SPEAKER_01]: He said nothing this season. 53:57.874 --> 54:00.395 [SPEAKER_01]: I did love this Mexico party where he bashed to pedal. 54:00.415 --> 54:01.956 [SPEAKER_01]: He did think that was so funny. 54:02.317 --> 54:05.679 [SPEAKER_01]: I think whatever that he did get me a lollies. 54:05.779 --> 54:07.580 [SPEAKER_01]: So worked out for our titties. 54:07.600 --> 54:08.020 [SPEAKER_01]: We're out. 54:08.420 --> 54:09.961 [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I need more of that. 54:10.001 --> 54:11.843 [SPEAKER_01]: Michelle is a new person. 54:11.883 --> 54:12.703 [SPEAKER_01]: That's your dream. 54:12.723 --> 54:14.804 [SPEAKER_00]: Since Dr. Drake are, what is going on? 54:14.824 --> 54:15.465 [SPEAKER_00]: That going on. 54:15.925 --> 54:18.308 [SPEAKER_01]: But also that scares me because I'm like, Doctor's right. 54:18.569 --> 54:18.969 [SPEAKER_01]: I know. 54:20.271 --> 54:20.631 [SPEAKER_00]: I know. 54:20.651 --> 54:21.372 [SPEAKER_01]: You're okay. 54:21.592 --> 54:24.676 [SPEAKER_00]: I know, but she was also with Jesse Lali and like, I don't know which is where it's like. 54:24.936 --> 54:25.878 [SPEAKER_01]: I at least he's rich. 54:25.918 --> 54:27.379 [SPEAKER_00]: Like, absolutely. 54:27.620 --> 54:31.244 [SPEAKER_00]: But also, at this point, when you make such bad decisions at this point, I don't know what's happening. 54:31.324 --> 54:32.746 [SPEAKER_00]: I just feel like maybe you know best. 54:33.066 --> 54:33.727 [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I don't know. 54:33.747 --> 54:34.248 [SPEAKER_01]: No, I don't.

54:34.628 --> 54:35.569 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I don't know. 54:35.629 --> 54:36.850 [SPEAKER_01]: I have no idea what's going on. 54:37.110 --> 54:38.632 [SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, I don't know where going out with Zach. 54:38.752 --> 54:51.643 [SPEAKER_01]: I will say that everybody's obsession of hating Janet look is Janet at the end of the day easy to hate because she is the most basic white woman I've ever been on. 54:51.663 --> 54:54.766 [SPEAKER_01]: Of course, we all recognize that's a very easy target. 54:54.966 --> 54:55.407 [SPEAKER_01]: I get it. 54:55.827 --> 55:01.072 [SPEAKER_01]: But at the end of the day, your hatred for Janet cannot be greater than your common sense. 55:01.232 --> 55:05.374 [SPEAKER_01]: Your hatred for Jen, it cannot be greater than your hatred of any of the men on the show. 55:05.394 --> 55:06.314 [SPEAKER_00]: She's saying the truth. 55:06.554 --> 55:08.315 [SPEAKER_00]: She's not done anything wrong. 55:08.515 --> 55:09.515 [SPEAKER_00]: I key is very annoying. 55:09.535 --> 55:09.895 [SPEAKER_00]: You're right. 55:09.935 --> 55:15.977 [SPEAKER_00]: She is really annoying and extremely just standard to felt like I'm surprised. 55:15.997 --> 55:17.238 [SPEAKER_00]: She's made up season three. 55:17.298 --> 55:20.519 [SPEAKER_00]: I guess people hating her so much has helped her, but you're right. 55:20.579 --> 55:22.600 [SPEAKER_00]: I just don't get the hate for jotted this much. 55:23.378 --> 55:26.701 [SPEAKER_01]: No, and I think you're right when Wallace said that she's in the comments. 55:26.761 --> 55:28.383 [SPEAKER_01]: She saw that, and nobody likes Janet. 55:28.403 --> 55:30.164 [SPEAKER_01]: So now she's not going to like Janet. 55:30.544 --> 55:31.145 [SPEAKER_01]: Exactly. 55:31.625 --> 55:40.954 [SPEAKER_01]: And it's very disappointed because disappointing from Zack's point because Zack for the most part outside of the show, what I've seen of him online is that he's very progressive. 55:40.994 --> 55:42.655 [SPEAKER_01]: He's very pro marginalized communities. 55:42.695 --> 55:44.937 [SPEAKER_01]: He's very big on making space, and all that stuff. 55:44.957 --> 55:48.100 [SPEAKER_01]: He's always doing events where he's talking about immigration, and all these things. 55:48.300 --> 55:53.142 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's very sad to see him not believe Janet when she says these things. 55:53.443 --> 56:00.006 [SPEAKER_01]: But also in the same way, I have to say Jasmine and her fiance keep being around dance. 56:00.046 --> 56:00.546 [SPEAKER_01]: That's all. 56:01.827 --> 56:03.288 [SPEAKER_01]: I would go to Janet. 56:03.308 --> 56:10.071 [SPEAKER_01]: If I was Janet, I'd be like, Jasmine, can you please have my back because I did all this because I'll go happen to you. 56:10.251 --> 56:11.752 [SPEAKER_00]: And you're still annoyed by it as well. 56:11.772 --> 56:16.515 [SPEAKER_00]: Jasmine is still feeling it, but it is weird, even I can, I do want to empathize. 56:16.595 --> 56:22.279 [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, it is hard being like the only black women on this cast and having experienced this. 56:22.579 --> 56:26.322 [SPEAKER_00]: And seeing also the first time she brought it into the group, they all denied it. 56:26.382 --> 56:29.844 [SPEAKER_00]: So I can see her, I can see the walls that she's built up. 56:29.944 --> 56:31.746 [SPEAKER_00]: I get it, but also I just feel like, 56:32.566 --> 56:42.149 [SPEAKER_00]: And maybe this is controversial, but at the end of the episode, when we have the little wedding montage, I was like, I just don't know whether I need you to on the show because I don't know whether I don't think you're very good at it. 56:42.169 --> 56:44.390 [SPEAKER_00]: You're not here at all. 56:44.510 --> 56:48.012 [SPEAKER_00]: And I think that is the problem that I have with Jasmine at the moment. 56:48.032 --> 56:48.832 [SPEAKER_00]: She's just not playing. 56:49.853 --> 56:55.903 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I also think that they don't need gay people on this very straight show. 56:56.003 --> 56:56.463 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what? 56:57.525 --> 56:58.206 [SPEAKER_01]: No, keep it. 56:58.266 --> 56:59.208 [SPEAKER_01]: You want to be toxic. 56:59.228 --> 57:01.391 [SPEAKER_01]: You want to be weird, like just, you know what? 57:01.431 --> 57:02.312 [SPEAKER_01]: Keep it with the straights. 57:02.653 --> 57:03.554 [SPEAKER_00]: It's deeply, essentially. 57:03.574 --> 57:05.017 [SPEAKER_00]: Well, the show is deeply heteros. 57:05.375 --> 57:06.655 [SPEAKER_01]: So Peter is actually this way. 57:06.675 --> 57:08.856 [SPEAKER_01]: It's so toxic I hate it so much. 57:09.216 --> 57:13.118 [SPEAKER_01]: I've been just yesterday like finally got time to watch it because of course I love our own these over. 57:13.458 --> 57:14.878 [SPEAKER_01]: So now I have time to watch those. 57:15.239 --> 57:17.679 [SPEAKER_01]: But I watched it and I was like, oh, brother. 57:17.840 --> 57:26.183 [SPEAKER_01]: But the only reason I watched it was because I had seen all the previous and people were like, yeah, La La goes in on these men and she also said, oh, okay, so we both gave these legs. 57:26.223 --> 57:27.443 [SPEAKER_01]: Which was really nice. 57:27.843 --> 57:49.113 [SPEAKER_00]: And I had to put up with fucking Danny's ball voyage as then there's that are getting journeys Hacking to his dick and I was just like, hey, I Then there's that feeling afterwards when you're like, oh, I agreed with la la la la Fucking la la not Lauren Lauren from Utah It's nasty. 57:49.573 --> 57:51.114 [SPEAKER_00]: That's not the kind of thing I came here for 57:53.287 --> 58:00.117 [SPEAKER_00]: I do have a heart date and I know you need to leave a bit so I will, I'm going to get your opinion on this. 58:00.517 --> 58:04.302 [SPEAKER_00]: I think, do I want to say this on record? 58:04.342 --> 58:05.183 [SPEAKER_00]: I'll say it on record. 58:05.203 --> 58:05.644 [SPEAKER_00]: Why not? 58:05.965 --> 58:07.426 [SPEAKER_00]: I think we need to have eyes on jacks.

58:07.998 --> 58:09.259 [SPEAKER_00]: I think we need to keep eyes on Jack. 58:09.499 --> 58:12.202 [SPEAKER_00]: And look, I get it, he's a horrible human being. 58:12.742 --> 58:15.244 [SPEAKER_00]: I just think for safety reasons, and I fully mean this. 58:15.704 --> 58:19.508 [SPEAKER_00]: It's safe, I just think having a camera on Jack's. 58:19.788 --> 58:25.152 [SPEAKER_00]: But I'm worried right now, he's just sleeping with a PR woman that he shares with, what's his wife called? 58:25.373 --> 58:25.833 [SPEAKER_00]: X-Wife called. 58:26.033 --> 58:26.393 [SPEAKER_01]: Brittany. 58:26.594 --> 58:27.695 [SPEAKER_00]: Brittany that he shares with Brittany. 58:27.735 --> 58:36.543 [SPEAKER_00]: That man is like making moves and I think we just need to we need to ensure that she's safe and I think the only way It's like just keep his on him at all times with David. 58:36.563 --> 58:44.912 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, that's a really no that's actually now when you say it that way it does make sense Right, I think that we should camera's on men all the time to make sure that they're not 58:45.552 --> 58:53.858 [SPEAKER_01]: If we're going to create police states, I do want the police to happen to men, like I said, we need police to be police men the way that we have been policing women. 58:53.898 --> 58:56.539 [SPEAKER_00]: That was being pro-AI specifically, if it is. 58:56.599 --> 58:56.880 [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, right. 58:57.020 --> 58:58.160 [SPEAKER_00]: It was in franchise land. 58:59.433 --> 59:08.775 [SPEAKER_01]: We're looking at it broke out by accident, but only in the news, you guys were following those stupid Kylie meta glasses, you sent them to the West, and please. 59:08.915 --> 59:09.375 [SPEAKER_00]: I think so. 59:09.395 --> 59:10.656 [SPEAKER_00]: Put a tracker on all men. 59:10.696 --> 59:15.977 [SPEAKER_00]: I think that's the only way we can finally end the fucking the narrative of the universe. 59:16.117 --> 59:18.698 [SPEAKER_00]: And now, let's shift the narrative, and that's the only way to do it. 59:18.958 --> 59:23.659 [SPEAKER_00]: And let's, again, start with every man that Lisa Vanderbubb has ever intersected with. 59:24.059 --> 59:25.820 [SPEAKER_00]: I think, it'll start with Ken. 59:25.840 --> 59:27.280 [SPEAKER_00]: Ken, what do you up to Ken? 59:29.097 --> 59:30.358 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe Ken's not alive. 59:30.998 --> 59:32.339 [SPEAKER_00]: I think it's just like Mitch McConnell. 59:32.359 --> 59:34.881 [SPEAKER_00]: They're propping him up, but I'm putting out AI photo. 59:34.921 --> 59:35.681 [SPEAKER_00]: That man is a real. 59:35.941 --> 59:37.162 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a fucker there, it's not real. 59:37.282 --> 59:37.642 [SPEAKER_00]: I know it. 59:37.822 --> 59:38.143 [SPEAKER_00]: I know it. 59:39.223 --> 59:40.944 [SPEAKER_00]: He's not real. 59:40.964 --> 59:42.185 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just... 59:42.325 --> 59:43.726 [SPEAKER_00]: I'm very good work at that. 59:43.766 --> 59:47.288 [SPEAKER_00]: But yes, thank you so much for joining me on this episode. 59:47.408 --> 59:49.169 [SPEAKER_00]: I think I am ready to release you. 59:49.349 --> 59:53.892 [SPEAKER_00]: Before I let you go, I want you to give your plug-ables, where can people find you? 59:53.932 --> 59:55.033 [SPEAKER_00]: It is very important that I do. 59:55.333 --> 59:59.134 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you find me on Threads and Instagram at the reality is pod. 59:59.454 --> 01:00:04.896 [SPEAKER_01]: And you can listen to my podcast everywhere if you want to see video content, you can go over to patreon.com slash the reality is pod. 01:00:05.416 --> 01:00:09.757 [SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, come for the reality TV and stay for all the other non-s. 01:00:09.777 --> 01:00:10.537 [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, please do. 01:00:10.637 --> 01:00:13.058 [SPEAKER_00]: This is a high referential recommend. 01:00:13.118 --> 01:00:14.058 [SPEAKER_00]: Go check out newer. 01:00:14.298 --> 01:00:15.979 [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again so much for joining us. 01:00:16.739 --> 01:00:17.679 [SPEAKER_01]: And say goodbye. 01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:18.340 [SPEAKER_01]: Goodbye. 01:00:18.620 --> 01:00:19.160 [SPEAKER_00]: Bye.