On this episode of Rebel Park Podcast, Ryan the new treasurer of IF I DIE YOUNG joins for his first episode, and guest Lloyd Maz joins to talk about the reason that some of his newer tracks have been recently removed. 

We take anonymous questions from the organization tumblr, and give a fresh perspective on self harm and how over reacting on the situation actually provides a negative outcome. 

"You don't need arms to shoot your parents, just the will" - yeah you heard that right - we take on some pretty funny news stories so stick around. 

United States


00:00:08it's kind of a Twist on what most people think of is like a rebel
00:00:53wake up still so distant
00:01:25hey what's up guys walking back to the rebel Park podcast today I've got Ryan who is the new treasurer for our organization If I Die Young sitting with me and we also have the special guests coming home with us Lloyd ever say what's up hey hey hey yeah it's like radish R&B like chill like why you got so much heavier rap and then some like real like auto-tune my chill R&B like kind of ever since I call your old a little bit older stuff is more like heavy and then like you're in your nowadays ignore me
00:02:08yeah I really I really just try to find myself in my sound I did a lot of a hardcore step metal vocals in my old music
00:02:18what kind of bands did you play with like was it like post-hardcore Doom metal with hardcore
00:02:29as far as like drums vocals and guitar instrument for chicken like you don't have to rely on other people you can kind of step in and be like hey I think you did this right here or if he's going to let me record this part or something like that lashed options open
00:02:55butterfly garden the rap Factory so I don't have to rely on anybody I can to make my own music with you so hard for disastrously and so I just switched and I was like you know what I hate musicians you can't count on me for shit they're all backstabbers like what's the one thing I can do it like I can do by myself and I'm always going to get electronic music so they don't you go make a bunch of dubstep and dubstep is like easy to sell so I started DJing but I always can people work on my rap career takes off so that's what got you into it though like is like you were like I want to be a one-man team
00:03:37yeah that's that's like half of it but I really I do like the rap culture and it's really fun
00:03:43you remind me of like Yelawolf or MGK like I told you I was up in New Jersey last year was actually for the organization we're doing an event for salads called that lets me cities but I went to The Cheesecake Factory when I was living up there and nobody knew my name dude they all come to NGK like after after 4 months somebody was like yo MGK and I was like you know what like I'm quitting next week do you even know my real name he was like no cuz I got I got the whole man bun and everything so
00:04:24that's funny as hell no I can't even walk through Philly sometimes that people yelling off their porch
00:04:37right now I've actually been taking a little break from shows because I have this little dispute with my old producer it was a really nonsense dispute and since then I've just been trying to get material out cuz I lost some really good songs and it's a shame but was it over like discrepancies over the beats and stuff like that I'm buddy that I've been doing music with for like 5 years and that he kind of started with him and they both went when they're on way and yeah it's just a mess it was just a big mess man I thought you got out I thought you got out of the van so you don't have to deal with other people exactly now
00:05:25yeah man you got to learn producing because then you can really be the one-man team did because you got out of it and then right now did you really have to be honestly dude like it's so for me Communications other people about what I want done is harder for me than figuring out how to do it myself yeah building websites for example or graphic design or I don't know producing or like anything dude it's hard for me to explain to somebody like look this is how I want it done it would take more hours and more money to explain to somebody what I want done then to go out and figure out how to do it myself like exactly anything nowadays like you know have a jack-of-all-trades any find someone else like that and you work together with them you can move mountains yeah absolutely but that that's that's that that's two people with the understanding that like they can do anything together like that's not you
00:06:25lying on somebody else that's working hand-in-hand with somebody else you know I'm saying I mean you like specifically have any or anything because
00:06:37I have musical influences that range way outside of rap like my biggest influences aren't even a rat but as far as rap I grew up listening to a lot of DMX Ludacris song dekha yeah you show me Deca and I like I've heard that guy but I never knew who Deca was in the show me back and was like if you like Decker you're going to love that answer I've ever heard of deca you check it out cuz if it's really smooth it's really great
00:07:24oh God that's cool I don't listen to it as much as I used to but I'm such a slipknot fan I love Slipknot Korn month ago we had a lot more material now this October like around October 13th dude every band I can think of a YouTubes and they've come out with something new like I'm talking about everybody can think of like Jimmy World Avenged Sevenfold corn I mean all these other bands that you that aren't necessarily mainstream yeah like I literally any band you could look up Taking Back Sunday Rocket summer like literally everybody you could look up they all drop something like right within the week of October 13th issues Palisades like everybody else is going on dude Attila which I love to hate but
00:08:25but I do I get to Lola
00:08:28you know I like I've listened to them back in the day but then I don't know if there's something about their whole the whole vibe that I'm just like it's like this party medals total party metal need me and the lake O'Connor this like we went to go see or we going to go do our first event at South by so what which is in Texas and it's like a big Like Music Festival South by Southwest which I'm sure you heard of yeah but this is like the metal version until I got up and like he was trying to do his thing and like you he wants to go he went to go say I want to see a circle pit voice cracking up I want to see a scope it until like we we both did and like everybody's turning around looking at janaf mall time but it was kind of like one of those like we love to hate him but you got to give the dude credit he's an entrepreneur out-of-this-world do like he makes fucking money dude
00:09:31did you just look at you just I'm not sure if you just really something or you just really something but it looks like you just released a new song I finally just like a piano ballad where I say to make sure that I'm cuz I catch myself sometimes having a little shakiness when I go to switch pitches just to go in and clean little imperfections I don't like up but I don't I never auto-tune it's actually like oh I can't hit that fits I got to make it seem like I can you know that just means you have a lot of Versatility like if you have a lot of vocal versatility you'll have that
00:10:31good enough with auto-tune to where you can't tell if it's auto-tune or the singer like that's when it's kind of like I'm kind of like okay like that's not what it's there for but when you use the style of Auto Tunes actually like compliment your vocal style I think it's kind of cool sometimes like you don't even know. Hello Goodbye by Owl City and she like that like I mean even a kind of use it to their abilities and I always liked that about you all the time too in like when you use it like presently not hidden I think it's kind of cool so I thought it was cool I wasn't even aware he used all that soon to be honest you don't quote me on that I feel like I remember it's just picking up on it I just found out that he doesn't want to work with his name right now but the guy from Relient K him and I was City of Lights done a lot of soundtracks for like Wreck-It Ralph and stuff like that
00:11:25that's what's up yeah I didn't even know about all that but I was listening to another podcast Skrillex oh really well good for him that could change the name of the game for a while
00:11:48I haven't is like the in-between from first last and Skrillex and it's really fucking good that's like his one is pure is just getting into electronic but he was still doing a lot of singing it's really a dude yeah Sunny In The Blood monkeys dude it's fucking it's good shit it's good shit
00:12:07Facebook famous since you like 16 yeah I know man from her so I don't know what brought this up to you but okay oh damn it what's your name oh man
00:12:22what's attack attack
00:12:25I think it's I think it was attacked and it's a band I think it was attack attack but I might change my mind the bases from Attack Attack like quit the band recently or last year but he quit the band so you know attack attack right okay so the bassist for attack attack which is 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 0 0 like nothing higher like 2 paragraphs speech about how like he was so sorry and how he knew he had so many specific fans to him and like how all this shit in like how the family got into his head and stuff like that and like how how you was Irreplaceable basically and she like that bro you were the basis for attack attack like I don't I don't even know if you had stage presence bro like but the whole thing to was so like such a Coke filled rants like just like that just so god-awful do you like
00:13:24come on you are like I hate it when people do that when they come out like a big statement when it's like like brought it all over do the hell out of it
00:13:42so you don't you're you're like holding on to some songs you can't you can't release right now basically because of some shit going on between you and other people but for a while they they they they were out for a baby can people like favorite songs by moonzz true how long were they in they were out for months you put out this copyright infringement playing against the songs and like it messed some of my accounts up real bad I have a negative strike something like ass
00:14:16Matthew Goode that same things out there somewhere that same things happen if you don't have the messages you or was it just come down no questions asked to cover themselves for me it's easy to put that claim out there and get things taken offline opposed to being the one that has to prove somehow that you are allowed to use those instrumentals that actually taking money to yeah it's just a big mess yeah trust me I know
00:15:05he didn't respond instead he went and talked about somebody else and it got back to me on my guy so you just ignore my message when I'm actually trying to resolve this and pay you
00:15:15so I am I figured it wasn't worth it anymore cuz he was holding it over my head and I said you know what you can keep the instrumentals it's not worth my time calling just yeah I still on the lyrics there my lyrics to I'll just use the lyrics again world and you can you have this on a vocal vocal contract the other permission to use them if you want them to like I can take out some waffles
00:15:52yeah I did I did this whole this whole dubstep screamo thing for a while that's a big chocolate did a good job like I don't know like Bring Me The Horizon with some dubstep and it turned out pretty good actually I got some good Nexus Sally song like a big step and every year on Halloween it gets like 20,000 more views just on Halloween I wish I was still doing it but
00:16:38not enough time in the world
00:16:42so I can make you some instrumentals though I don't even want to hang out of it I'll help you out by other people
00:16:58people man
00:17:05thank you. I can't wait to get more out yeah hell yeah so you go live all the time which is how we got into this podcast like you're my friend on Facebook I'm not sure how to her friends or something like that but I see the live and like you have a like a big fucking following on there dude is that all from your music or or something that really I had I had a small following before but something that recently this past year of coke my following to a whole new level was Facebook live streaming they came out with Facebook live streaming and it was originally only for verified profile and I was literally like if not the first one of these very first people to use it and it started to so many people to the point where
00:17:56I found these wonderful people one specifically her name is Heather she saw what I was doing a really respected it and she now became like my lead
00:18:08promotion agent or whatever you call that she takes it and share it to a bunch of groups that would be relevant to what I'm doing and like now we get like 40-something 50000 views on our streams around afterwards like it is nuts and help people that's crazy what just you have a good heart that you know that's the way I am you know it's like I like to find people or you never come friends of people or even just people I don't know and try to help them discover their potential of their ability or if they already have one I like to try to help them need to reach that highest point you know
00:19:06is that going to be like I don't want anything out of it I just like to see people you know achieve their their Highest Potential always always speaking of that I would love to talk to Heather I'll definitely I'll definitely connected with her she's such an amazing woman like you I can't thank her enough that mean I really want to talk to you
00:19:34but I'm okay so that all comes from basically For Me music and stuff but you can ask a lot with your with your fans and stuff her or other people listen to music and you like you seem like you really enjoy answering the questions they come in because I know you said it several times on there that like you would really do actually enjoy and I can connect with that because we started this whole organization on a Tumblr where we get an anonymous messages and like then we would answer them that's how this entire organization started if I own cuz we're answering all these questions and dude I just I got so much joy out of that and like
00:20:08honestly it was like 50% for the people that wrote in and 50% for me like just me typing out and answering people's questions like would give me so much insight to like where I was and what I was actually thinking into that kind of turned into being The Catch Phrase of like we were the people that we wish could have gotten we could have gotten advice from when we were younger like exactly oh my God yeah yeah you know absolutely one of these statements anyone's ever said honestly like this is like where the kids are going through it and we don't have podcast Marie younger and stuff like that like we had any interviews and stuff like that but I mean getting it like did the generation of being podcast and stuff like that and it's like if I could have listened to somebody that was the same as me like that had gone through everything that I was addicted to that it had like have the same mentality the same
00:21:08Anarchist like you know what fuck shit but at the same time like I want to douche it the right way like I don't want to be a complete fuck up and I don't want to you know I like the good intentions at heart but like at the same time we're fucking to show you those those boundaries are those Fine Lines yeah the show you like the kind of the
00:21:27just the questions I think that everybody had in like that uncertainty and stuff like that and the and the fact that like it feels like you're so long because you don't know quite where you stand because you're an anarchist and you're like a your creative soul but like it's hard really hard to find and connect with other people like that like I mean we have to do this with your podcast from here to Philly because from Texas to Philly because it's it's you know difficult to find people sometimes the same level as you
00:22:02but so
00:22:06for for what's going on right now I'm kind of kind of shift gears to some some things that we have going on with us
00:22:19so I started the fight and Morgan ization we got our Oliver credentials less than a year ago but we started I started it myself about almost 2 years ago Stephen what you heard on podcast one and two and I believe I'm like 4 and maybe 5 he name this podcast over Park broadcast and he was a co-founder of If I Die Young passed away September 6th yeah so I understand what you were a whole website right now is dedicated to him you can go on If I Die Young. Org and see everything I'll just say long story short short he was murdered and it was no
00:23:08way at all his stuff he was being your oh so you want to look into it I'm not going to get into the all the details if you want to look into it it's all up on our website but because of that something that me and Steven had been talking about during the whole
00:23:25basically right it was when we were sitting down to do the first podcast of weed ever done to Rubble Park podcast with Josh Coburn we were talking about his daughter and how it was so difficult for him to go see his daughter cuz he's got a six-year-old daughter and we are taught weird we started discussing the fact of what what it would take to get him back his daughter because he's an ex-addict and his baby mama didn't want him to see his girl basically and she's an addiction against him even though we had both been clean for a while like we are coming together is my best friend Stephanie Ryan's best friend to this is I actually moved in with Ryan this is around you staying in this is moved in and I'm working at the same job that he worked at just to fill holes and stuff like that but
00:24:16he was trying to get back into his daughter's life and so what I was telling you you know when I first contacted you as we started this thing called the addy project which is where we help X addicts get back in touch with their children in a healthy way and support them along the way so that weekend you know basically get people I can in the same in the same situation back in touch with the kids because I think that's a big thing that that a lot of people a lot of ex-addicts they'll get clean on them on their own and they're still denied the right to go see their kids or they're still you know any people fuck up I'm not saying that you know you're you're solid straighten all that stuff I like there comes a point in time when it's
00:24:59there's there's a way to healthily slowly step back into your children's lives and like Steven he shouldn't have even had to slowly if he should have just been able to do and so we were fighting that and he was like Yo dude like it we're setting up the podcast I'm setting up the microphones and stuff and he's looking all confused because I'm like sitting up in this mixer and stuff and he doesn't know anything about audio and he's like this looks really like intimidatingly I don't know about all this drinking beer you'll be all right and you're going to look up all this stuff like why don't we just do it program and I was like huh like that that sounds good dude like every other idea but like you understand how much money that takes you understand how much research that takes you understand how much this year we're paying to self sustained right now I was like it sounds like a great idea one day maybe in the future but like we can't do it right now like there's no way I like the money that we have going out is way too much right now anyways and so since September since this happened like we started the Addie projects
00:25:59and we like art we have to get over some pumps to fill it to seal are getting our 501 C3 and pay my lawyer and stuff like that basically everything we have is going towards the added price is right now and we got some good people that were talking to and waking up with well like that's the whole thing's going right now is he had a project and helping helping that was a situation do I just want to leave. I've heard of people doing I haven't heard of anybody else doing that I'm sure somebody out there does but when you told me about that I hit me so hard I got that there are a lot of subjects that just even if you don't expect it you feel more for it than you realize you did and just like that bad hit me so hard a lot of people have a stigma with attics rxotics they permanently have had this stat put on them like they're bad people have something in it for you that somebody who could have been just like me who just depressed having a hard time and that they're trying to have some kind of Escape not a bad person
00:26:59label somebody like that you know honestly you know I've known people that you know have done drugs are whole life you know mile drugs are hard drugs and they're not bad people you know that are there some that are bad people but there's some that aren't bad people and it it's just not fair because you know some people you know why their husbands are boyfriend girlfriend whatever that people that don't let them see their significant you know parent their significant other you know they are they're going to grow up and they're going to miss that you know and then use that opportunity they need to make the choice for themselves and if they get out of that house lifestyle it's like you're denying them things that are going to keep them going and keep them happy and you're just dragging them right back into that hell right back to that
00:27:59this is Matt's office that there's a place to put blame as a balance for it there are places we'll plan but there's also somewhere to have compassion and he will really lose touch there is there's a difference between you know some people you try to help them or this or that and they'll just rip tell you I don't want to I don't want any help you know I like doing this I like this lifestyle whatever they don't want to help it there's a lot of people that they do want help or you know there will be no I want to change I want to you want to stop but I don't know how and you know or they you know we will be for lack of a better word good and they won't screw up and then you know they'll fall back into it for a little bit and I'll come back and I'll say Hey you know I screwed up you know I need help and those people that shun them when they should embrace him and say hey there trying to change you know
00:28:50that help them like don't come out help them along the way if they're trying to get right you're like a parent if you're on the other side and then like the other the other Whatever Gets the mom or the dad whatever whoever has the addiction would have like that like like it's it's you have to like I mean this is this is your kid that's kind of a big deal to me I don't know I am I in my mind both parents should always be in my life no matter if there's a step parent present or whatever like that's not blood like there I mean I mean there's there's instances where your parents are just so blatantly don't want to be a part of the kids lives but if that's not that's not who were trying to help if we're trying help the people that want to be a part of the kid's life sand are being shut down and not does just like there needs to be better programs in place to wear that doesn't happen as often like there is there should be a simple like within it like within a year if you help us and we help you if you stay clean
00:29:50you promised Mike if you if you are doing well like you will have legal rights to at least have visitations while what is it called being watched whatever basically
00:30:03like at least because I mean Steven was so far along could even have that for 4
00:30:1044 three years clean putting that visited right Cena's crazy so because you know they're not just accountable to their you know the person who's helping them you know trying to get back in touch with her kids are there so that their you know accountable because they're posting stuff for you no talking about what they're going through after going through it you know and I'm saying you know how I fell back in or you know I'm trying to work through this or I'm having I'm struggling you know how do I do this and then you know everybody kind of talks on there's a family you know when everybody can bounce off of each other they're not you know alone in it and so many times regardless of how many quote-unquote friends or your family or whatever you have you know it's 3 in the morning its 4 in the morning whatever and you know you don't have anybody to talk to you know there's people on there that can talk to you yeah it comes along with that is a lot of the hours that we found is because
00:31:10since we start on Tumblr like that's where a lot of our impact assessment it's like Anonymous you can send them anonymous messages and some of our longest longest like biggest contributors cuz we have we launched in thing called are attics right now where people donate their arts and we saw it on Warped Tour and then we we bring along their business cards with us so don't he will come by and look at their art they can help their business card and buy there are offline or they can buy the donated pieces and all the donated pieces of art go towards us will that whole program was started from this person who just like she was cutting a lot and I was like you know instead of doing something destructive what I should draw and then she ended up donating those drawings to us and we not selling them and then I turn into this whole program like yeah so I mean like there's a community out there where people can like
00:32:04why is DNA mutually beneficial you know yeah quid pro quid pro quo you know
00:32:11and I just so much of that in the music industry and the music industry in the in the concert white like at all of that man like it's it's
00:32:20that's what I like about heart heart support is there slogan you know United scene which heart support you no heart support I don't actually it's another nonprofit started by Jake luhrs which is the singer for August Burns Red or the guitarist on the other so I somewhat similar but
00:32:45yeah man like
00:32:49I don't know this is that some of the stuff that's been going on with us our podcast is pretty separate from our podcast audience has a pretty separate
00:33:01connection to us then either our nonprofit organization if I don't separate or block or anything like that so this is the first time we've been on a podcast really see any of that news so that anybody that you know started with us you're on the podcast and stuff like that
00:33:18I guess I've just been kind of waiting to it's been a long two months Along 2 months, I'm sorry to hear about that
00:33:28appreciate it man but it's not not going to be about that obviously it hasn't been because you know so much so much I got this i got this he had this on his hand showing my tattoo right now you guys can't see but it's a it's a rose with the La Dispute symbol through it and it's the same tattoo on his hand and I got to buy the same tattoo artist that did his and and ever since everything happened like I've always told like there's been a bunch of shit going down a bunch of drama bunch of crazy stuff and ever since everything happened I've always been like you guys don't stop Stevens beautiful flower don't stop is flower like he had so many like so much of what he did like right before everything happen like he was bring this family back together dude like he was he was working all sorts of working on all sorts of shit you doing a lot with the organization we're doing a bunch of stuff to do tonight
00:34:28he was doing so good and like at the same time when I met him dude like we stopped each other from suicide like three times each a piece like both me and him have had this world for a long time and I can't say that I hate it right now I don't I don't even though after all this went down I don't hate it right now like I'm I'm actually like
00:34:47I have I feel like I'm more of a purpose right now and I'm in the same boat as here now I grew up hating the world honestly most of my life but like you said you feel like you can actually serve a purpose here now and I mean I even the organization before this to Mike I thought I got a purpose but like
00:35:15not the purpose that I have now like not the purpose for a best friend and its Legacy that I have to and honestly like I said like he was still struggling with depression through all this and like
00:35:30I mean this might sound terrible to a lot of people that I'm kind of jealous that he got to go out of hero and cuz he was so done you know like even though he was doing such great things and I can't I wish I could have seen everywhere that he went like I'm kind of jealous the same time because he would he's been done for a while you know what I'm saying like he's been he's been kind of just like
00:35:52is there still hope there I mean don't get me wrong it's not like he's been completely depressed but I mean like at the same time we both we both come through a lot so
00:36:02I don't know I'm happy for him and I wish
00:36:08I don't know I don't know I mean I'm going to carry on his legacy but shit like I'm just I'm happy for him I guess it's just weird to say that's a cool way to look at it though
00:36:23yeah I mean like I said started a bunch of stuff right before you left to keep us all busy lasell and things like that but you know I don't know
00:36:40it seems like you know
00:36:44it's you know the destiny of Great Men to see their goals on fulfilled he know he was
00:36:51coming out of everything and you know he was on medication things like that he cut way back and was doing grain connecting with his family again and you know his friends and stuff and I mean even when he was at his in his darkest moments he's always been the kind of person that you know you're going through stuff and you can say something or not say something and he'll be there I mean he was there for everybody everybody knew him you know and it's he's just I don't know
00:37:24it was a good Soul. Some people are just like that man
00:37:35I don't know what to say you know we went to let you know we went to work at the same place you know we drove everywhere we you know we're roommates all that kind of stuff you know really good friends and everything and as much as I knew him you know I would hear him on podcast or hear him talk to other people or in he would I don't know if you change you know and it was like
00:38:11he's like this 80 year old man with all this wisdom and I'm just like who are you I feel like I don't know you right now I had to and I know secretly I stood up and talked like you know the viewing and stuff like that I was like dude since day one I had to drag him along behind me so hard because of his anxiety he did not want to do war. And I want to stop by so what he did not want this podcast but like I drug him and I would like you to always trying to bail him that's even do not be a little bitch come over we're doing the podcast and you would shove and I got to know about this I'm like two beers I promise you going to be through it more be okay and then if you listen to podcast 1 and 2 with M on it like you could never tell Dude like he's so uncomfortable am I giving all his wisdom and shit and I'm like I wish everybody knew how hard I had to like like pull him around the neck to be like make him do this shit
00:39:11Tim in Windsor you know the ones have anxiety that are like performers you know it you know he was that way and I but I mean when he came on the scene just like you know just like you but when you go out there and you do something you say something to your make music and things like that you shine so bright you know and it's just like it's it's incredible
00:39:36assassin bug anyway too happy over here
00:39:46all right for the same reasons you know and like I mean I think we leave you you dabble in what we do and I dab now I double and what you do I got that. Just dabbling music nowadays now I'm basically wanted or the organization and you're over there like keeping that like going to the same time but doing the music thing also like we're all connected dude good people like this good-hearted people we know yeah
00:40:15hell yeah.
00:40:18hey do you mind taking like I said we start on the Tumblr usually always throw one of the questions at the beginning onimus and like we will just talk about it and we gotten some new ones actually I just looked and felt like dude I usually answer to a day when it's first started and we've still got 242 sitting in here so like it's just easier sometimes we talk because I'll write it for days and Cesar just talked about him so I'm going to read one off and we can talk about it is that cool with you I would love to all right I've been cutting a lot and I lost one of my best guy friends over it it made me very depressed and I feel like I'm worthless I don't deserve anyone I lost the best person I could ever have he would text me when I try to talk to him should I just move on or try to get back to him
00:41:11I want to go with this one first
00:41:16does that all cuz it seem to you is the person she's talking about that has left their life because they don't understand they're cutting yeah it's it's over it's over the cutting fact I'm also my best guy friends over it so it's over the fact that she's cutting and that I think that's that's where we need to draw attention not so much the cuz I I don't I don't know if you know who knows if you should try to get it back or not we don't know the guy but it's not like either way I think it's over the fact that somebody doesn't understand her cutting and she lost a friend over that type of stuff in that it's somewhat of a release for people you know he's looking at it all wrong you know he's looking at like you know the issue itself like you know if somebody is smoking weed or you know math or doing cocaine or whatever you know or self-harming or whatever it's you know it's all pretty much in the same boat even though it's not and it's like they look at that in there like you know that's what
00:42:16you are that's what you're going to be you know your self-destructive you're a drug head and this and that and you know for somebody who really cares about you if they really love you being a relationship or friendship or whatever they're going to stick by you regardless through all of that they're going to be there you know when you're doing great they're going to be there when you're in the hospital they're going to be there you know if you lock yourself in a closet don't want to see anybody that you know at any point and for somebody like him to do that I don't know the guy but regardless if he's good or bad that was a wrong move and unfortunately there's one thing I've learned throughout my life personally that you can't you can't make somebody do anything they don't want to do and people to do what they want when they want no matter who it affects it if they feel that way strong enough so as far as trying I mean you can try to make them understand but you can't force them to you know
00:43:16you know it's just something you know she does that she's trying not to do or something she's trying to work through or maybe me and something that she doesn't even want to fix maybe it's just something she wants to do but she could tell him hey you know stop eating meat or you know if stop stop eating sugar or something like that it's like he's like no I can't do that then it's like then you're in that you have no right to tell her say that to her you know right I can't tell somebody you like oh you cutting is wrong I can't say that to somebody all I can try to offer them as advice of
00:43:50why that's not going to fix the problem you know if you how many times have you cut and they may say or eight times I'm like wall when you did it after the first time and nothing changed that's that that's proof enough that every time you do it it's not going to change the situation you know I think I've got a pretty controversial view on cutting but first of all I think it's usually almost from what I've seen and not accustomed the Tumblr and then my younger years I usually always a creative mind that cuts I saw someone is very artistic or something like that the same thing that I believe is that not I understand that you can cut your wrists and stuff like that and suicide but that's different but just from the inflicting pain and feeling that I honestly like I think it's definitely a cry for help but it gets way too much hype from parents and hospitals and stuff like that like are you really in any danger by I mean now I'm back I'm saying if these are like suicide self-harm marks that's different
00:44:50these are just cutting marks I think it's hyped up way too much yes it's and I think that should be addressed and I think I should be addressing a big way it's definitely a giant call for help and it should not be taken lightly but now as far as we need to get them to a hospital tonight the emergency room like like they are self-harming and like no cut that not like the self that is just like like a a release from pain at the same time depending on I mean even if it's just a way to release the pain and it's usually artistic people that do it because it's Not That Into You know because it's just like you know if it's something mild like that or something it's just like getting a tattoo or getting a piercing or getting scarring or as soon as I say that
00:45:50because if you don't want to talk but I'm like okay well you know I'm not I don't know I don't know what you want me to tell you I got it from head to toe piercing you know like 150 piercings and you know gauges and Mike you know what he called like girls like everything else in computers than anything on them and you know they're the same people are you know it doesn't make it doesn't change between actually tell yourself in a way but you are trying to take your life that's that's that's definitely a different and I actually have a question online and get scarification
00:46:50obviously because I love the art that is that that pain it is like I said I agree with you 100% there and there's totally a fine line between cutting because you want to die and cutting
00:47:10because the release because I know as a high percentage of people who cut their thighs and anything that's not meant for suicide and they don't want to die I want to die but they're not trying to kill himself yeah they're not like doing this like I hope this goes really deep or anywhere else like there are so many more productive things you can do rather than cut yourself and release the pain I knew up for us tattooing that's a great one I love my tattoos and like all my tattoos of a message for me that's positive and I still get the same pain as other things like art like I said most of the time people that cut are very artistic they're very like they want to let it out somehow like if you practice on your art as much as you spend
00:48:10I'm thinking about the the need to cut and stuff like that you're going to see yourself growing to new things like it's like there's so much for productivity they can come out of not doing something constructive and like I said we've got a new project with an organization that I've been watching over the last two days call the art attics because of a girl who cut who said you should be working on your art and that changed my life the fact that she stopped cutting it started working on something productive it wasn't me telling her to do that it was her choosing I don't want to you know rather than cut on my draws picture and that picture sold for $10 and she donated 15 more than household for ten fifteen dollars $20 and that start a whole project called you know the are attics like
00:48:53so sick
00:49:05I did it really is like roughing in the hospital like things are not really in danger of actually dying from it like they're crying out
00:49:14for some type of release from the emotions are having like them in that way but don't like
00:49:20I guess I did it just gets taken over board a lot of times in the wrong places generational Gap thing to self harm scars and I'm not saying that we shouldn't freak out that we shouldn't address it but I'm just saying like
00:49:41specifically open-minded approach
00:49:50as far as getting the guy back on the question I don't I don't know the guy but it seems like if it's a guy your age and he wants nothing to do with you over the self-harm stuff I would say take your time worry about yourself if that ever happens I don't know I don't know the guy but initially if he's rejecting you over the cutting and he doesn't want to talk to you about it doesn't seem like he's really great friend you anyway you should be trying to reach out and talk to you about it not just abandon you over that I want the best person I could ever have I highly doubt that people better out there who would actually through Trump
00:50:31you don't just abandon people if you care about enough yeah
00:50:37I don't know how old she is but I talk to a lot of people who are really young and they are so certain about
00:50:47you're you're going to grow a little older throughout these next year is an F find out what you were so certain about you weren't enough
00:50:58all right was there anything else you guys want to say before we move on to our our our funny new segment cuz we're at where we're at about 8:10 minutes left so
00:51:09maybe just the last thing would be that just kind of moment things subjective you know people were listening you know today sir you know friends you know family mom dad sisters brothers friends whatever you know if you have somebody who it is you know even just mildly cutting herself farming or you know addicted to drugs or you know whatever you need to
00:51:36you know without putting yourself in you know a bad position he don't be around then you know invest in the more pay attention and more and try to understand you know their mind stayed you know if you really do care you're going to be there regardless
00:51:53make it more about them and and less about yourself like somebody about it Sean people should not dictate how the situation is going to go it should probably be more concentrated on the fact is there's a problem how do we fix it not your you're worried that's get honestly when you look at it it's kind of selfish the fact that you're so bad you're willing to do something so drastic. Over-the-top make a point people over use the word love you know the love is unconditional that means anything so
00:52:37he love somebody truly than yeah you'll be there
00:52:41what's the definition
00:52:44alright I've got okay I kind of feel bad about this one because I didn't have time to research if it was
00:52:52I didn't have time to research if it was a true one or not so if it's true if it's true I kind of feel bad about laughing about this but I really don't all right here we go from dr., police say man with no hands and no legs is armed and On The Run authorities in Florida are searching for an arms quadruple amputee who's portable we've been on the Run since Tuesday hopefully question him about his involvement in a double murder Sean petrozzino 30 reported lost his hands and legs and part of his arms bacterial meningitis years ago we say he moved in with his parents last week after separating from his wife and has some serious Financial issues both of his parents were both found dead Tuesday morning after Sean's mother Nancy failed to show up for a job the school teacher Sean was last seen on ATM surveillance camera Tuesday
00:53:46and prosthetic experts told Orlando Sentinel you don't need a hand to shoot both your parents just the will that were taken in the context she's armed and on the run like I'm not laughing at the Shockers a real one or not because I'm going to be one up another one I don't know if you ever heard of this other 100 on we move on to this one I found out I thought you would appreciate this this is off cracked.com and it's the 16 most baffling insults and rap music history
00:54:26some of them are not that bad actually okay so this is from
00:54:32French Montana I'm never even heard of me
00:54:36if you're a star on the whole planet that's not that bad actually
00:54:41I'll be damned if I co-sign and old snitch that was gangbanged when Jaws was cold fish
00:54:51tell gangbanging job with goldfish Rick Ross
00:54:56I was just walked out Trayvon Martin I'm never missing my target what the fuck is that I can fuck your mama that's true
00:55:11there's a good one Kanye West what you think I rap for to push a RAV4
00:55:21okay this one Young Dro Young Dro what you know about shark meat perch and tilapia alligator Dogmeat caviar we Mafia I open up for him walk Jay-Z me give my heart to a woman not for nothing never happened I'll be forever Mackin right now
00:56:17hilarious from Pitbull me not working hard yeah right picture that with a Kodak and better yet go to Times Square Christmas picture of Dakota from Rapid this one I want to talk about Lil Wayne but it's usually actually think you got pretty great distances but I push T and anybody that love him his head up his ass Imma have to head butt him I don't did you think that one through or that sounds boring
00:57:08oh yeah this is just weird Busta Rhymes Rock to the beat and then turn it into a walrus you remain nameless my victory remains Flawless well it sounds like you just wonder where I was before I was cuz you want to savor for others to bet Rock to the beat and then turn into a walrus to your maiden name was Mike Wallace rocking to The Beat doesn't have much to do with a walrus all lost the extra that I can buy
00:57:55I don't know anybody that wouldn't duck from a drive-by like I'm pretty sure I would.
00:58:07How to change but it's kind of hard to understand because you got to hear the song so he said he's trying to rhyme like nuts with everything so I put some dinner everything shorty you got some real good peanuts and that should think that you need a DD no rush that doesn't sound right at all
00:58:31didn't think that through her I don't think she's great okay so you better get some better beats and better rhymes
00:58:50Goodwin kid
00:58:53although I love him back in the day back in the day
00:59:02alright see you should we do one more what do you want to do you want to do one more
00:59:10I'm down definitely that one
00:59:18have you ever heard of the hard times bro
00:59:20I heard the name yeah the hard times was like you know what the onion is right then so the hard times is like the onion but for like music like found related shit fucking hilarious and on this one cuz we're done with this one and it's late but if you're ever bored go on the hard times if you're any sort of punk fan or like metal fan at all cuz then head there just like those satirical and so fucking funny alright hold on
00:59:59I'm going to be a long one but it's kind of funny
01:00:01I'm stopping to get supper done so the headline band makes up for shooting music with matching costumes motor Jessica Weber announce that they are now booked for the rest of the year playing mostly Art Gallery openings vegan cafes and tea shops always spot fresh snow was just bad said Weber but they look so much more professional with all those matching costumes I'm thinking the more experimental like actual artist or something they have something going on that I don't quite understand its innovative
01:00:35? 3 year career spend nearly University considered subpar at best sign editor and guy that buys everyone beer Hector Hill recalled I remember seeing them at a house show where the bass players amp wasn't plugged in for the entire set he didn't even know he's just got that change drummer to play softer so we can hear himself we've had some rough patches in Hamburg
01:01:04X letter
01:01:13we had some rough patches in Middle lead guitarist Andy Samberg this whole year we didn't are guitars have the wrong string in the wrong place and once we got the idea to dress in the back of the stage at all change the band spent several rehearsals that week scaring or local costume shot at Burlington Coat Factory outfits costumes at Sandburg certainly didn't help that we forgot to make a set list and our drummer left his snare on the trunk of a snare drum on the bus even the band tears harsh critics is coming around then you costumes I just remember thinking this isn't the band we all hate this is the family all hidden costumes that we will all of a sudden you know how to play their instruments it's like they found a new way to play them all together and costumes
01:02:06Fresno's currently in talks to release their debut album The rosta Meta records experimental label known for groups such as Angels ashes a trio of asexual heart players players and Boris orange llama percussionists using only the Bones from accredited out what the fuck I guarantee they don't exist they write it like about bands that they're thinking about you guys out there that are like that but the world needs now
01:02:51bird frosted beak beak
01:03:02play big little hatebeak and then we're going to end with one of your songs afterwards and post but I'm going to play you just a slight part of hatebeak and you got to look it up afterwards though because you kind of you have to get to see him he's a performer in visual visual but either way you got to hear his vocals like I'm going to be new for me too well this is on first podcast episodes of Steven so this is been done before on the podcast but
01:03:38for all those of you that don't know about that alright so
01:03:45this is a this is a bird
01:03:48this isn't this is actually commercial my bird
01:03:53Nexus 7 teardown
01:03:59Abilene, Texas
01:04:52there's no way they put shows anxiety too much anxiety and our front singer whatever so we can't do live shows well I think they've there like the controversy effects I'll be pretty impossible to be that on point
01:05:36alright man well I appreciate you getting on with us this is our first time come back since I can go out that's what it was on work directly so and I'm I'm psyched I think we should do more in the future did
01:06:11yeah right
01:06:14and then you hook me up with Heather Heather Heather absolutely hell yeah hell yeah be safe. Talk to you soon
01:06:58jet jet
01:07:04This Is Us
01:07:36sign the letters printed me your new beginnings but when you worked as hard you've grown to be one within winning
01:08:02we can run away from the light of day
01:08:25can you see me now
01:08:48Houston many way to ease your page cuz if I see you hurt I promise you I feel the same way with in my brother's eyes
01:09:03actors of the movie
01:09:16on the floor
01:10:11wish you were here for something

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