Full Transcript for Episode 5: Unlocking Your Inner Authority

our kids away from their inner authority continually because probably we're uncomfortable with making mistakes, with potentially painful experiences, whatever. So we're like no, I just know better, just listen to me. Or we like, and the one example that comes to mind is like when parents are fighting and then kids can see it and feel it. We're like no, no, no, it's fine, we're not fighting. They can feel something and we're telling them they're not right. So there's all of these little ways where we turn our littles away from their own inner authority and we send them to school. Listen to your teachers, they know best. Go to work. Listen to your boss, listen to your government or your, you know, the authorities listen to God in religious circles and that God is a religious God, right, not God like the God that is you. Jamy: 3:54 So think about this we are literally from the get go navigated away from our yes and our no, ultimately Deep inner knowing right, Like there is a thing in us that knows. Keri: 4:07 I think it even starts and I mean, I raised my kids with baby led weaning I think it even starts when we start to feed them mashed up food that has no shape. They have no idea what they're eating. And then you go, you have to eat this. And when they spit it out and they're at you and you're like what if they're full? They're at you and you're like what if they're full? Well, it's not the amount that the doctor said you have to eat, so I'm going to try and force this into your mouth. They know they're no and we don't trust them. Yeah. Jamy: 4:28 What if they don't like the taste of it? There's so many like whatever they're saying. No, give them their no Right. Keri: 4:41 Right, which is so like with baby led, didn't? They didn't die, and then I didn't have to transition them to be like hey, you really liked this broccoli when it was mashed up. Right now, you don't know what it is Right. And so we're actually, even in those points, stopping our children from understanding their own yes and no and not trusting them. And I have watched so many parents, even from this point, not allow a child to trust their yes or no. Keri: 5:02 And I know for me and I know both of us have done this in our own ways, but I know for me as well, like I set up my house and not only if we go, if we're going to deep into this like I knew human design back when Robbie was born, and Robbie, my oldest one, is a manifester. So when you understand human design and you sit there and you know that you're raising a manifester, that kid is not going to ever want to ask for permission. No, to ask for permission, no. And so in order to do that like when you like it's a beautiful, beautiful way to understand human like your, your inner authority is to actually understand your design and understand your kids' designs, because then you can actually lead them into their own yeses and their nos and their own strategy for their own strategies, and then they're raised into that and there's no like. You never have to decondition them. Keri: 5:39 Robbie is 15 years old and he is a manifester true and true. And I swear to God, watching him, at 15 years old, be a manifester is one of the most beautiful things in the world, because he initiates people and he's not afraid to and he doesn't ask. Yet he doesn't ask permission half the time, but it set up because when he was little, I put food in the house. That was like if you want to go and find the food that you want to eat, go ahead, you are you are capable to do any of this. Jamy: 6:09 Think about that. I mean, like I'm curious in the audience, like how many people are triggered by Carrie saying my kid does not have to ask permission to do things like this is a deeply conditioned. Kids do not know. We need to guide them. There's a difference between guiding and controlling you know, I mean like and it is uncomfortable, I get it Like they may fall and break an arm, they may eat something that is bad for them, they may you know what I mean. Like. There is this whole range. Keri: 6:32 And Robbie has definitely done things where he's eaten too much sugar and he's vomited and he hated it and he guess what he? Jamy: 6:37 didn't do it again. Keri: 6:39 Right. Jamy: 6:39 Next year at. Keri: 6:40 Halloween. He's like mom, I'm not doing that again. Jamy: 6:42 I'm like good choice then. Say my kids I had. They had unlimited sugar and they were like yeah, no, thanks, Right. Keri: 6:48 Right, yeah, and I like I want to preface, by the way, robbie, when I say this because it's a little child like there is definitely ways that we can expand what they're allowed to and not allowed to do with with and without permission. And raising a manifestor Is this safe for you, is this safe for others and is this safe for the world? This is one of my biggest rules in my home Is this safe for you, safe for others and safe for the world? If it is okay. But if this is going to be something where you're going to leave, like I'd say to Robbie, if you need to leave the house, you need to do something that I need to be informed. This is part of understanding, being a manifest friends. Keri: 7:24 He's like mom, I want to go see this person if he needs my support or if it's going to be something I need to do. Mom, I really want to go and see this friend. I've made the plans. Can you take me? Are you available at this time? What time are you available? Can you do that? It's not a hey, mom. Do I have permission to go hang out with my friends? Jamy: 7:45 ask permission. I don't have manifestors, but my kids also do not. I mean that's a part of his strategy. But if you don't know human design, if you don't appreciate human design, this conversation goes beyond that because, beyond understanding your strategy and this isn't even a parenting I mean like it starts there because this is where most of us stop

recognizing our inner authority, but it goes throughout life. I mean like I think about now how quickly we outsource to science or to medical authority, but they must know what's right. Jamy: 8:13 I didn't think this was quite right but my doctor said I should whatever right, like how often we see what we perceive as experts for a very generalized public and we outsource to their opinion or to their professional, educated whatever they are not more educated on you and you. This is like a big conversation of learning to come back to your inner knowing and this is not an over. None of the things we talk about here are just these. Overnight, all of a sudden, I just listened to myself. Right, but what we're trying to do is plant seeds for these, these things that we can do differently that create big changes in the way we experience life. Keri: 9:00 Yes. So, for example, when I start to talk to clients about this type of work and really starting to understand your inner authority, one of the things that I will say because I also teach muscle testing, right, like when we can actually start to learn muscle testing and this type of a thing and I know you do as well and so I'll say, like, don't try and do this like for your big decisions in life right away, right, but start with like, hey, what do I want to eat right now? And listen to that. Do I actually want this chocolate, yes or no? No, don't eat it. Listen to that, because then you're building trust, or don't. Jamy: 9:31 And recognize the discomfort right Like. This is how we learn. You're going to make like I. Have people that are like what if I? Keri: 9:38 do it wrong. Jamy: 9:40 And it's like you will, you a hundred percent will, but that's going to give you information on how to refine and get it more right. You know, like Carrie and I've been doing this for years, we still get it wrong. We're still like oh yeah, I misread that one. But we don't interpret it as negative. We interpret it as data to refine our process, to refine the communication with our bodies, with our inner knowing, and you do start to trust it more. You're like I'm. I mean like I trust that this is happening for a reason. So I'm going to follow it. Even if it blows up in my face, I'm going to learn something from it, you know. So this, this is a big deal, because when we are outsourcing to others, because when we are outsourcing to others, we are not free. Keri: 10:26 Yeah, we are limited and we are trapped, you know, in a dynamic or a story that is not ours. I'm like, I'm like wondering what other negative effects come from outsourcing our authority. I would say disease, dis-ease in our bodies, disharmony in our relationships. Jamy: 10:52 I'm thinking about how many people are in marriages, are parenting, are in schools, are in what in some place in their life that they do not? How many of you listening are like I am in my job because I went to college because at 18, somebody

my parents or teacher, somebody told me I need to decide what I want to do. Forever, got a degree, got the job. I fucking hate it. Like I have no joy in what I'm doing. I actually want to be an artist. I actually want to. I skate, I want to. It is Right. Like, how many people are in a story that is not theirs? Right, because they listen to somebody else's authority, right? Keri: 11:33 And oftentimes it is like it is the conditioning from the teachers, the parents, the world prior to having anything to do with us. Yeah, yeah, like it's interesting, because when I had my tooth pulled a few weeks ago, this tooth, this tooth was related to intuition and I was like I don't get it. I listened to my intuition all the time, like I live my life by intuition. Why would I want to pull my intuition? Why would I want to pull a tooth by my intuition? And when I really sat with it for a moment and I think this is like a huge moment here in this inner authority it was like actually, carrie, you knew years before you separated and divorced your husband by the way, we're almost done with divorce, we're going to have to have a party and a celebration on here, right. But you knew years prior, years prior, that this was not the right person anymore for you and I didn't listen and I didn't listen to my inner authority and I made it because the world says I'm supposed to have it this way and how am I going to do it otherwise? And I'm not safe enough. Keri: 12:33 And really the voice in my mind was I can't survive without a man and I am, I am, I'm not successful if I don't have a man by my side, right, and those inner voices that were so deep underneath me were bypassing my own inner authority and I ended up in a marriage that I look back and I'm like man. Keri: 12:50 That was a lot of years in my life that I went like, huh, that sucked, I'll embrace that suck, right, right. And I had to go through the grieving process, because I did have a grieving process of thinking, wow, I wasted so many years of my life, I'm not there anymore. I think everything is absolutely fucking divinely timed and perfect and I'm grateful for every moment of everything that happened to get me to this place. But, yes and yes, and I did not listen to my inner authority, and I know, I'm sure I'm sure there are some of you out there listening right now who are in the same exact place, wondering, wondering, like my inner authority says get the fuck out. Where is it saying to you Get the fuck out? Is it your job or the? Jamy: 13:34 flip side of stay. Work this out Right. Everything in your mind is like no, fuck this, I don't want to do it anymore. It's so subtle and it's about trusting the next action, right? Yes, it can't be. I'm going to do this now because, 15 years down the road, it's like in this moment what is true for me. And practice listening to it, even if it blows up in your face. Just listening. Keri: 14:06 Yeah, actually, I think I think what's really

cool actually about what you said is that in like what I said about get out, and I want to honor you, jamie, because what you did both of us like we've said this before, but both of us came to this place in our marriages where we're both like this doesn't feel good anymore. Yeah, and what I really love and honor about what you did, jamie, is that yours was stay and change it. And how can we open things to a way that makes me happy in here, right? And so you've also had things that have happened in your marriage that are outside the box, that the world would say, no, that's fucked up, you're not allowed to do. That you guys couldn't possibly do what you've done. You couldn't possibly, you know, and you did. Keri: 14:49 And because you did and because you listened to the inner authority when the world said this would be a crazy ass idea, when even your own heart and soul was like I don't know how this is going to go, I don't know if this is going to work, I don't know if I'm going to like it. He doesn't know if he's going to like it, we don't know if we're going to end up together, but you both listened and you dug in and you went. You know what my, my higher self, myself, says this is the way for right now. Yeah, in this moment. Jamy: 15:13 this is what it is, yeah. Keri: 15:15 And so I think it is really important to bring that to. Like I said, it was the right thing to end, but it might be the right thing to stay and completely remove a box and go. How can we do this in a different box? Jamy: 15:24 Yeah, and it is not. Has nothing to do with, um, like, I don't stay for 20 years down the road. I don't stay because I want this future thing. It's like in this moment, what does my inner authority say? And that's what I listened to, cause I think it's so easy to create a future story staying or not staying, doing the thing, quitting the job, whatever it is right. It's like that that decision hinges on all these things that could or could not be created from. It has nothing to do with those things. It has to do with the moment right now. And what is it? And learning, like I have to fully acknowledge, I don't always hear my own inner authority correctly. I am much better at it than I was a decade ago, but this is the human experience. I'm continually learning and there is no. This is another episode. Actually is like reframing mistakes and understanding what they are, but there are no mistakes, right, it's all data, it's all learning. Keri: 16:30 And it's like choosing to be free learn right Like make the mistake. And choosing today, choosing to listen today, and also, I think this is really important. What you just said is that in our inner authority it can change. Like I was talking to Tom yesterday and I said I'm a woman, I reserve the right to change my mind In this moment actually. In this moment I want this, but if you ask me tomorrow, I might not. Jamy: 16:54 Yeah, no, we've been going to dinner heading

to a restaurant. I'm like I don't want that anymore. I think I want something else. Keri: 17:01 Right. So I think this is also really important that our intuition and our inner authority can change. Yes, and just because it was right yesterday doesn't mean that you have to be like I'm stuck in that place. It's like, well, no, today it wants this, no, right, today it wants this. And we are allowed to change, and we are allowed to change our minds and we are allowed to, and there's nothing right and there's nothing wrong with that. You're not a bad person for that and you're not like, oh my God, but yesterday you said this, so now you said this today, and now you're there's no obligation to maintain some past version of yourself. Jamy: 17:31 Every day you are new and that's scary right In a lot of ways, this unknown, unknown expression of self in a world where it's like but I know you through your personality, so you need to like be consistent, so I know who I'm talking to. I say fuck that, like be who you are in this moment. That's, that's authentic expression and that's how you understand what your inner, your higher self, your inner authority, your understand what your inner, your higher self, your inner authority, your, you, your voice, your soul, whatever you want to call it is even saying it will not make sense to people around you all the time. Keri: 18:06 It won't. So, on that note, I'm curious to like dive deeper into for a moment what happens in life when we actually start to listen, like when we actually start to really deeply, even when we make the mistakes, even when we mess this up. What happens in life when we start to really listen to our inner authority? What do you see happen? Jamy: 18:24 with your self-inclusion. Jamy: 18:27 I call it magic, I call it alignment. So I don't know if you've ever read the. I think it's called, like this surrender experiment or something, but it's a good book. He talks about how, like there is a current of life, right, like there is a current that's happening. It was happening before you were born, it is going to continue after you pass away. Jamy: 18:51 And then we drop in and think that we're going to like, manage it and control it and direct it and make it work for us, versus how do I get out of my own way and follow the current of life? And to me, that's what happens when we start to listen to our inner authority. It isn't like our mind, it isn't our preference, it isn't what we think it should look like. Our deepest truth, our deepest truth, our deepest inner knowing will align us with life. So we find less conflict, we find less like. It's almost like to me, because I have a. I have a like aversion to right and wrong like, but there is a place and time for these. But we find ourselves in less wrong places and even if it's uncomfortable, even if it's messy, even if it is a quote unquote mistake, it's not the wrong place, it's still right for exactly what

I need to understand and learn and experience right now, and it teaches me something that I need as a foundation for the next thing I'm here to do, because I definitely and I know you do too believe that we are not just physical beings, that we are source, incarnate, and we are here to experience our unique vibration. Jamy: 20:13 And so, to me, the reason that inner authority is so big is because we actually need individuation. We need everybody to be occupying their unique vibration in order to create the beautiful symphony that is humanness, that is life itself, and what we have is a lot of conformity, is a lot of homogenous expression that is like well, this is how everybody else is doing it, so I'm going to craft myself to be acceptable, even though I'm dying inside, because I really want to sing in this different tune. Yeah, it's liberation, and it is like I think that if we don't do it, we keep doing it, we keep coming back to learn the fricking lesson until we learn it, and so, just you know like, lean in for humanity's sake, because we're interconnected in a way too. So it's like, as we all honor our unique expression, we are creating a new harmony, a new reality, a new experience a new vibration on this planet. Keri: 21:21 Quite literally, yeah, exactly yeah. I think everything you said and to add to that I would say what happens when we live by our own authority is more pleasure. Yeah, plain, and simply like yeah, you will find more pleasure, and like I love that you said magic, but more pleasure in your life Like pleasure, yes, Not like the surface, shit Not like, like you know, tom asked me yesterday when we were talking about like life and pleasure and feeling turned on, and he's like well, what turned you on? Keri: 21:51 What do you mean? I'm like what do you mean? What do I need to have turned me on? Yeah, like life turns me on Right Like yeah, everything I don't like. I could go and smell the flowers and the flowers, the roses and the rose garden, and that was right. Jamy: 22:03 Right. Keri: 22:04 Yeah, like because I'm so aligned to my yes and I'm doing the things that bring me joy, because, yeah, I listened to my heart and soul and it took. And again, like, if you know, throughout these, you know episodes, you'll hear it took me years to get to this place. Keri: 22:20 Like, this isn't an overnight thing, but last year I spent a lot of time like I took everything off my plate because I couldn't even hear it. You guys, when I came out of divorce, I could not hear my voice and I didn't trust it to save my soul, right. And so I did nothing. I just sat until there was a yes because I couldn't hear any of it, and in those times it was like, well, there's nothing, so I'm just going to sit here until I have a yes, until I have a full yes. Keri: 22:43 And then, the more that I've walked towards my yeses, the more that I'm like my life is one lit up thing after another, and, like today, I have meetings from 8.30 AM to 7 PM, which I've not done in a long ass time. And I look at it though, I'm like every single one of them is a yes. Like I'm not busy for the sake of busy. I'm like I am in a fully aligned fuck yes day, and by the end of this day I'm like I'm sure I'll be tired, but I'm going to probably be so turned on that it'll actually be hard for me to actually wind down because I get to do so much that I love yes, right. And that's what happens when we start to say yes to our authority and not do the things that we don't really want to do, again, remembering that sometimes we have to do things that are a little bit sucky, but but it's still what we want, it's still in alignment with what we want, right? Jamy: 23:28 And so we just get to have a life of pleasure, and I do want to note pleasure, um, collectively, is associated with sex, um, and this, like physicality, pleasure goes so far beyond what we, what we normally associate it with. It is the sensation of feeling good and full and alive in your own body, so far beyond any like sexual connotation that we've been fed right, like just to know, sitting and eating a peach or a mango can be the most pleasurable experience. Keri: 24:02 And, like people, when they watch me, they're like here, you're like having mouthgasms and I'm like yes, yes, why not? It feels good. I love this. This is so pleasurable, like. Let's enjoy it and let's stop and embrace these moments, because that's what life is like. What are we here for otherwise? Jamy: 24:16 What are we here for otherwise? What are we here for Right, exactly. Keri: 24:18 So I know we've got to wrap this and I have one more thing here, that's we're supposed to say, which is around tips, but we've just given one. Keri: 24:24 So are there any other tips that you would say, besides really sitting here and being like, okay, say your yeses, listen to them, say your no's, listen to them, really feel into the pleasure and allowing ourselves to embrace these moments that are like yes, and again, sometimes it might just be a moment and then there might be something else that comes up that you've got to go and deal with but like really embracing those moments when you're in your yes and you're in your pleasure, and allow yourself to feel that pleasure. And it feels good. Right, we are here having a human experience, and if you've got to have the suck, you're going to have the pleasure. We can't have one without the other, right? And so when we're in all of it, like yes to it, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. What other things do you have to think about or tips that you could add in here that are ways that we can stop outsourcing our authority and bring our authority back to ourselves. Jamy: 25:09 Well, we mentioned human design. I think that, if you're open to it, explore that, because Reach out to either of us, because we both do. Jamy: 25:17 It changed my parenting, it changed my marriage. Marriage

it changed my relationship to self, to understand, kind of the mechanics of the way my auric field works and carries and my kids and the way we work together, like all of these things are really powerful. Um, if you're not open to that, I my biggest tip that I give clients is to set aside time to just even listen, like you said after your divorce, like do I even have an inner voice? Like what you know? It is not normal. It is natural. It is our innate state. It is not normal in today's current society existence collective kind of conditioning, society existence collective kind of conditioning. Jamy: 25:56 So you have to intentionally set aside time to ask, to tune in, to start to explore your own yes and no and what it feels like in your body, seek help, keep listening here, because this is a big thing for both of us and the way we navigate life Ask questions and then the thing I mentioned before is experiment, like stop being afraid of getting it wrong. You 100%, if you are living life in this human existence, you will get it wrong over and over again. There is nothing bad about that. There is like utilize it to refine and improve. Just accept that, yeah, like sometimes you're going to follow and it's not going to have the outcome that you thought, and use that information. Keri: 26:42 Yes, but do it do something right, Right. Keri: 26:45 And I will add to that, actually, because everything that you said is a yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And in addition, I will say, especially coming out of marriage, for me, um, one of the things that I really noticed and I've worked really, really diligently about over these last few years is when we are conditioned to believe that. I will say for me that my nervous system was conditioned to believe that some really shitty things were love, right, some really uncomfortable things and the ways that people treated me were love, and I cannot tell you the amount of times that Jamie would say, carrie, that's not it, Come back, he's just this, we're love. And I cannot tell you the amount of times that Jamie would say, carrie, that's not it, come back, he's just this. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Keri: 27:20 But my body and my yes was a yes to things that were not okay for me, and so it took me a while and this is really important because, like she said, like I messed this up a lot, right, because my body was conditioned, my mind was conditioned, my conditioning was conditioned to think that things were not good for me were good for me, and what we have to start to look at is okay. Is this serving me, is this way that my yes is coming into me, serving me? And when I started to see no, these are not okay for me, I would sometimes literally I'd have to come to my friends because my inner authority was not being kind to me. It was still treating me like in the conditioning of what wasn't okay, and so we have to start again. This is the awareness in ourselves, right, hey, this is what my old self

would have said yes to. Keri: 28:07 Yes, right, honesty with yourself Like it is brutal and it was brutal sometimes to hear my friends tell me Carrie, like oh, the amount of times that Carrie has wanted to flip me off or smack me or just completely ignore me Like damn it, fine, okay, but what I can say is, like you know and we'll get into probably some of those stories before but there was a moment in time where I knew like I knew wholeheartedly, like my body wanted to go as a yes to something that was so fucking wrong for me and I was like, but I couldn't, my body couldn't, like. Anytime I would come to the other side of it, I would get more anxious, yeah, and so it was in those moments that we had to actually choose. No, I'm going to reprogram this to a new way and if we have been designed and if we've been sorry, conditioned because we're not designed to, if we've been conditioned into suffering and struggle, your body will continue to choose it because that's what it knows is. It's yes and it's true. And it takes some time to rewire this. So you will mess this up and have faith and have trust and surround yourself with people, or work with people like Jamie and I, who this is our work to do is literally to help you rewire your patterning so that you don't do this anymore, so that you can actually start to rewire. Keri: 29:15 To what I said earlier today, which is, I now have a very different view and my yes is a very different yes, and it is so much more peaceful, it is so much more aligned to what my desires are, and when those other things that would have come up in the past now I have is like oh, that's a tingle. No, no, no, no, no, no. That is now a no, not a yes, and so it's been a huge shift for me, but it's work. I messed it up a lot. I surrounded myself with people who were like Carrie, I see your future self and I'm going to hold you into it, because you don't know how to do that yet. Keri: 29:48 And that's really important, because sometimes we do need that, sometimes we do need those people around me. We are built to live in community. Jamy: 29:53 We are not isolated individuals. We are interconnected, interdependent, and that is an important thing to acknowledge. And I love that question because it is like in a moment the feel could be yes, but the clarifying question really is so powerful that you offered of like is this does this take me to a better place? Is this good for me? Because you are going to make choices that put you in places that are not good for you. And that's not the end of the world. You have to mess it up. But if you can stop and ask and honestly answer yourself, is this really in service to me? That's where you get to see what is in deeper alignment and the nuance and the clues about where you can focus to create changes, subtle changes, brief, momentary changes that add up to create something of a new experience, a new life, a new reality. Keri: 30:50 A new timeline? Yeah, beautiful, I think. Do you have anything else you want to add to this? Jamy: 30:56 No, no, I'm, I am good I love these conversations, um, I think to just an invitation to the audience to to ask us questions, cause I know that these are deep, like nuanced, like wait a second. But how does this work then? Like, bring it on, we, I'm a generator, I love to respond to things. Does this work that? Like, bring it on, we, I'm a generator, I love to respond to things. Um, so, bring bring it. Like it adds to the conversation, it tells Carrie and I what we can be talking more deeply into and, of course, we'll start to share our personal stories and how we've navigated real life stuff that's brought us to this place, and you know, hopefully, their experiences that many of you can relate to. Keri: 31:36 So, yeah, and to add to that, like we did say, this isn't to be done alone. Truly, this work is not to be done alone. So if you're wanting support, we both have you know. We'd love to chat with you about supporting you as clients and doing this on so many levels that both of us do this on. So reach out to us if you're interested in support and shifting this experience and really learning your inner authority, because it will completely, totally and utterly change your life. Absolutely. Jamy: 32:03 Until next week, see you guys, if you enjoyed this show, let us know. We're all about authentic connections, so come chat with us on social media or email. Links are listed in the show notes. Keri: 32:15 And please make sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform and share the magic on your socials.