Full Transcript for Staying Hands On In Retirement: An 8-6-1-7 Kolbe A Index Result Unpacked | Private Sessions

what works well and sticking with it. 00:05:05.778 --> 00:05:07.089 It's not experimenting. 00:05:07.089 --> 00:05:08.949 It's not trying out new things. 00:05:08.949 --> 00:05:12.369 You know, that's not you. 00:05:12.369 --> 00:05:23.598 And also, you know, what we've seen, and we've-- I don't have as much data on helicopter pilots per se, but we have more data on fixed wing, both military and civilian pilots. 00:05:23.598 --> 00:05:29.269 Generally speaking, they're like you, where they initiate in Fact Finder. 00:05:29.269 --> 00:05:31.468 They don't initiate in Quick Start. 00:05:31.468 --> 00:05:55.889 They're more like you in Quick Start, where it's, it is really all about stability and, you know, with the Fact Finder, analyzing the risk, and then with the Quick Start, essentially avoiding the risk to the greatest extent possible and keeping in mind, like if it's especially maybe, well, in kind of all flying activities, but I think maybe especially in most military, you can't eliminate the risk. 00:05:55.889 --> 00:06:07.500 It's just, it comes with the territory, which is why so much of the time the job really requires eliminating the risk that you can eliminate so that you're dealing with as little as possible. 00:06:07.500 --> 00:06:18.925 So you've got a Kolbe result, or as we call it, you've got a conative MO that is well-suited for, I think, most of the kinds of jobs you were doing. 00:06:18.925 --> 00:06:24.105 One of the questions I have is how do you think that's transitioned into your retired life? 00:06:24.105 --> 00:06:29.894 Have you been able to do things that you're interested in that keep using those strengths? 00:06:30.475 --> 00:06:41.925 Probably I would say that my biggest focus now, or the mo- most important focus for me, is the fact that we are traveling. 00:06:41.925 --> 00:06:48.985 You know, this motor home is 41 feet, and we tow a vehicle behind us that's another 15 feet long. 00:06:48.985 --> 00:06:58.355 So I've got 60, 61 feet to think about when I'm going down the road and going through traffic, you know, stopping distances. 00:06:58.355 --> 00:07:03.115 And of course, I still think about the weather a lot, the road conditions. 00:07:03.115 --> 00:07:17.985 So I'm still using a lot of the same decision-making processes and, you know, looking at as many of the different variables as I can just to keep us safe while we're out and about and going down the road. 00:07:17.985 --> 00:07:30.947 Because again, there's only so much that I can Try to control, but when, when you've got a lot of other people out on the road at the same time and- 00:07:31.028 --> 00:07:32.137 You don't control them 00:07:32.327 --> 00:07:33.216 No. 00:07:33.216 --> 00:07:40.476 It's i- again, what we were basically taught years and years ago, you know, defensive driving, it's all about that. 00:07:40.476 --> 00:07:51.567 And, but again, I try to apply the same principles or the same requirements, criteria, parameters, whatever you wanna call them. 00:07:51.567 --> 00:08:04.747 And in our travels, you know, planning going from point A to point B, you know, you still think about fuel, and weight, and weather, and all of these things, so. 00:08:05.067 --> 00:08:12.076 Well, you know what I love in listening to you, again, you're… What I'm hearing is some- look, I live the conative stuff all the time. 00:08:12.076 --> 00:08:21.468 You're clearly bringing that initiating, Fact Finder strength of research, data gathering, knowing the information. 00:08:21.468 --> 00:08:29.576 I mean, just to hear your description of you know exactly how long, you know, 41 feet plus I'm towing 15 feet behind me, and I may have gotten one of those wrong, 00:08:29.588 --> 00:08:31.526 but- No, you're, you're, you're right on. 00:08:31.526 --> 00:08:34.177 I love that you know all those things. 00:08:34.177 --> 00:08:45.706 Somebody who is just as safety-conscious, 'cause let's… Look, being thoughtful about safety, any, somebody with any Kolbe result or conative strengths can care about safety. 00:08:45.706 --> 00:08:52.337 What you bring to it is this specific talent of getting the information and knowing it. 00:08:52.337 --> 00:09:04.197 Somebody with maybe a three in Fact Finder would know, "Look, I have a really long profile, and I need to do the right things, and here, you know, here's the kinda broad picture." They may not know exactly the length. 00:09:04.197 --> 00:09:09.746 Hopefully, they know exactly the height, 'cause it's not enough to know what your clearance is more or less. 00:09:09.746 --> 00:09:16.947 If you're four feet over your clearance height going on a bridge, that's a pretty crucial, or four inches, that's a crucial four inches. 00:09:16.947 --> 00:09:30.357 But no, I love that you're doing that, and I'd really encourage you, and one of the reasons I asked is talking to people who have transitioned into retirement, a lot of times what they find is they lose that sense of purpose sometimes. 00:09:30.357 --> 00:09:39.586 And it's really important for people to not lose that sense of purpose, and part of that is applying their conative strengths. 00:09:39.586 --> 00:09:42.206 So yeah, use that Fact Finder. 00:09:42.206 --> 00:09:44.687 Do the research, you know, dig into things. 00:09:44.687 --> 00:09:56.917 And what I would say for you, especially with your one in Quick Start, you won't necessarily intentionally put yourself in novel situations because you, that's just not how you operate. 00:09:56.917 --> 00:10:02.017 You are, again, a find what works, drill down on those things, and keep doing them. 00:10:02.017 --> 00:10:03.897 And that's great. 00:10:03.897 --> 00:10:05.827 Like, I'd encourage you to keep doing it that way. 00:10:05.827 --> 00:10:16.977 But don't let that, Don't get stuck in a rut of, "Yeah, I've done this enough times, I don't need to get the information and do the research because I've done it so many times." It's like on autopilot. 00:10:16.977 -->

00:10:23.567 You need to engage that, data-gathering, information-gathering part of you. 00:10:23.567 --> 00:10:30.136 So, you know, it could just be finding another hobby or interest where you can do that. 00:10:30.136 --> 00:10:39.798 you know, and at least for a while, maybe it was, you know, when the RV was new, it was becoming an expert, really throwing yourself into learning all about that stuff. 00:10:39.798 --> 00:10:59.376 another part of the systems, and I, after I tell you this part, I want to hear how you do it, getting back to that hands-on hero Natural Advantage of really using your hands and physically doing stuff, you need to be the one who's doing all the physical system stuff. 00:10:59.376 --> 00:11:07.527 Not just repairing it, but maybe installing them from scratch and combining your research-oriented part with doing the physical stuff. 00:11:07.527 --> 00:11:17.486 So I love that part of what you're doing is, constructing this physical environment for yourself that is gonna demand some of that of you. 00:11:17.486 --> 00:11:19.486 It kind of won't let you off the hook. 00:11:19.486 --> 00:11:30.783 Like if you had just said, "Oh, well, you know, I have, we bought a cabin and we just go to the cabin and it's really lock it and forget it when I'm gone, and I just show up-" That wouldn't be enough of a challenge for you. 00:11:30.783 --> 00:11:35.293 If you had the little cabin, it'd be, you know, I'd wanna think, are you adding on to the cabin? 00:11:35.293 --> 00:11:37.514 Did you buy a cabin that was a fixer-upper? 00:11:37.514 --> 00:11:41.493 not just a, "Ah, it's on autopilot," kind of thing. 00:11:41.493 --> 00:11:44.394 So what are you doing along those lines? 00:11:44.394 --> 00:11:51.094 Or is the RV and stuff you're towing new enough that you're really needing to get into those physical systems? 00:11:51.974 --> 00:11:53.923 It's, it's a day-to-day thing. 00:11:53.923 --> 00:11:57.774 I mean, as far as, again, getting your hands dirty. 00:11:57.774 --> 00:12:05.113 Fortunately, the chassis is usually, a dependable part of the machinery. 00:12:05.113 --> 00:12:15.613 But the house part, the coach part, the plumbing, the electrical, the appliances, all of those things, going down the road, they get beat up big time. 00:12:15.613 --> 00:12:35.123 it's kind of, some people equate it to you're living in your sticks-and-bricks, as they say, house, but you're experiencing a 5.7 or a 6.0 magnitude earthquake every day, and that's kind of what this is all about when you're going down the road in one of these. 00:12:35.123 --> 00:12:43.302 Whether it's a fifth-wheel RV or a travel trailer or a motor home like this, they get beat up big time. 00:12:43.302 --> 00:12:49.974 So you're constantly, you know, looking at little repair jobs. 00:12:49.974 --> 00:13:04.322 I mean, occasionally there's a job that, or something that needs to be repaired that I know my limitations, and I know that if I get into this, that I may make things worse, and that's when I call for outside help. 00:13:04.322 --> 00:13:11.842 But usually I can resolve the issue, again, by getting into, finding a manual. 00:13:11.842 --> 00:13:25.572 When it comes to all these different pieces, parts, usually, you know, you can find a resource on the internet, thankfully, and, go to that resource and do some digging and find your answers there. 00:13:25.572 --> 00:13:31.932 The people that built this coach, you know, I think I've got their technical support people on speed dial. 00:13:31.932 --> 00:13:44.923 So I'm, I'm I'm, … I relate it to my aviation career in that thankfully I never stopped learning, and this is the same, this is the same thing. 00:13:44.923 --> 00:13:49.645 I do not Want to get, become complacent. 00:13:49.645 --> 00:13:58.154 Like a little earlier you were talking about getting into this routine, you know, and, I certainly don't wanna go there. 00:13:58.154 --> 00:14:06.306 In aviation, you know, we had a saying about, "Complacency kills," and, there's a lot of, truth to that. 00:14:06.306 --> 00:14:13.025 So but again, I try to apply a lot of what I'd learned there to what we're doing now. 00:14:13.025 --> 00:14:19.034 And, at times I get a little… I'll hear a sound or something, it's like, "What's that?" You know? 00:14:19.034 --> 00:14:39.865 And my better half has to remind me that, "Hey, you know, we're not gonna fall out of the sky." You know, "It's just when we get to the next stop or we, quit for the day and get set up, you can check it out. But you know, it's not… You don't have to break out the emergency procedures book and," you know, so. 00:14:40.015 --> 00:14:42.596 So you mention your wife, your better half. 00:14:42.596 --> 00:14:45.225 I assume you've seen her Kolbe results too. 00:14:45.225 --> 00:14:46.265 I know she's taken them. 00:14:46.294 --> 00:14:46.875 Yes. 00:14:46.875 --> 00:14:47.605 Yes. 00:14:47.865 --> 00:14:57.125 Any surp- And maybe describe h- how you, what they were and any surprises for you, or was it, "Yeah, I know this about her. 00:14:57.125 --> 00:14:57.125 We've been together for so long"? 00:14:57.544 --> 00:15:06.894 You know, after 58 years being, Well, we just celebrated our 58th anniversary and well, thank you. 00:15:06.894 --> 00:15:08.806 She's a very patient woman, believe me. 00:15:08.806 --> 00:15:20.485 I'm not, I was not surprised by her results and, thankfully she can, I think she's the anchor, okay? 00:15:20.485 --> 00:15:24.945 In the s- in places where I, where I need help, she's there. 00:15:24.945 --> 00:15:43.062 So, no, I w- I was not… I'm looking over there 'cause her- Her results are over, you know, a couple feet away there, and because we had both of our documents together, no, I was not surprised by her strengths and 00:15:43.432 --> 00:15:43.682 Yeah. 00:15:43.682 --> 00:15:48.191 Well, as you were saying, when you've been around somebody for 58 years, you get to know them pretty well. 00:15:48.191 --> 00:15:52.932 I-

that said, I definitely see times when spouses are a little surprised. 00:15:52.932 --> 00:15:58.471 I think it's probably less common when they've spent time together retired. 00:15:58.471 --> 00:16:18.912 It's more common when they've been together for a long time, but there's kind of the work part of the person, and then there's the home part of the person, and those things… Because you, like a lot of people, use up their strengths, their conative strengths at, in their professional lives, and then they get home, and the spouse doesn't necessarily see that all the time. 00:16:18.912 --> 00:16:27.551 But with you guys, you've been together a long time, A, and you've been together now when you are both… I'm assuming she's not working outside the house these days either. 00:16:27.551 --> 00:16:28.892 You guys are retired together. 00:16:28.892 --> 00:16:34.490 One of the things that I noticed is you guys have… And I'm looking down 'cause I have her result here, too. 00:16:34.490 --> 00:16:40.100 you're, you're not that far off in any of the four Kolbe Action Modes®. 00:16:40.100 --> 00:16:44.471 So we've talked about three of them kind of without, or two of them, Quick Start and Fact Finder. 00:16:44.471 --> 00:16:46.591 Oh, no, three, 'cause Implementor, we started with that. 00:16:46.591 --> 00:16:48.061 We haven't talked Follow Thru. 00:16:48.061 --> 00:16:51.610 But your four numbers, you're an 8.6.1.7. 00:16:51.610 --> 00:17:00.841 So as I mentioned with your Fact Finder, you really lead with, you know, delving in, getting information, asking questions, very, information and data-intensive person. 00:17:00.841 --> 00:17:02.280 you're a Quick Start. 00:17:02.280 --> 00:17:03.301 You stabilize. 00:17:03.301 --> 00:17:04.751 You figure out what works well. 00:17:04.751 --> 00:17:05.760 You stick with that. 00:17:05.760 --> 00:17:07.080 You're Implementor. 00:17:07.080 --> 00:17:10.971 That's that hands-on hero, the physical part that you really need to do. 00:17:10.971 --> 00:17:16.080 It's not just learning about it and then hopefully handing it over to somebody else to get their hands dirty. 00:17:16.080 --> 00:17:22.761 You actually need to fix the stuff, repair the stuff, build it from the ground up when possible even. 00:17:22.761 --> 00:17:27.871 And then the one we haven't talked about as much yet is the Follow Thru, which is where you're the, where you're a six. 00:17:27.871 --> 00:17:29.171 That's that second number. 00:17:29.171 --> 00:17:33.641 So you're in the mid-range, so you accommodate in Follow Thru. 00:17:33.641 --> 00:17:36.971 So Follow Thru is about system, structure, organization. 00:17:36.971 --> 00:17:47.211 So you don't start the problem-solving process with, creating a plan and a system and a structure, but you live within that. 00:17:47.211 --> 00:17:50.621 I mean, you will do that when it's clear that it's necessary. 00:17:50.621 --> 00:17:52.260 Hey, we don't have a plan yet. 00:17:52.260 --> 00:17:53.321 Somebody needs to build it. 00:17:53.321 --> 00:17:54.102 You will do that. 00:17:54.102 --> 00:17:58.601 But what's most natural for you is, oh yeah, there's a plan and a system in place. 00:17:58.601 --> 00:18:00.481 I'm gonna go along with that. 00:18:00.481 --> 00:18:02.351 I'll follow the steps. 00:18:02.351 --> 00:18:05.451 So that's kind of you. 00:18:05.451 --> 00:18:10.412 What I was saying was with you and your wife, she's a 7-4-4-4. 00:18:10.412 --> 00:18:20.290 So you- the two places where you're furthest apart are Quick Start and Implementor, where you're, three units or three numbers apart in each of those. 00:18:20.290 --> 00:18:22.641 but that's not a huge difference. 00:18:22.641 --> 00:18:29.932 Where you'll see that maybe is she's the one who's most likely to say, "Hey, let's just try something different. 00:18:29.932 --> 00:18:31.840 Let's go to a place we've never been. 00:18:31.840 --> 00:18:40.730 You know, let's throw a dart at the map, and wherever it hits, that's where we're going." She's not way out on the end of the spectrum on that, but she's more likely to do that than you are. 00:18:40.730 --> 00:18:41.800 Does that sound true? 00:18:42.412 --> 00:18:43.501 Oh, definitely. 00:18:43.501 --> 00:18:46.211 She is the, adventurous one. 00:18:46.211 --> 00:18:46.601 Yeah. 00:18:46.601 --> 00:18:54.441 She's, definitely where I'm kind of… I'm just not as adventuresome in the same way. 00:18:54.441 --> 00:19:02.830 You know, I mean, again, I spent a good part of my life, aviating, and there's a certain amount of adventure to that. 00:19:02.830 --> 00:19:07.951 But, even in retirement, you know, she's, she's all about that. 00:19:07.951 --> 00:19:19.951 she's, I accuse her of having a fair amount of, gypsy, DNA, in herself, 'cause, but that- 00:19:19.951 --> 00:19:23.662 Yeah, and what's interesting is that would be more true. 00:19:23.662 --> 00:19:34.071 Like, you would see the difference more than most people because you are at the end of the spectrum where it is about what works, let's stick with it, rather than the kind of wanderlust. 00:19:34.071 --> 00:19:37.020 And look, some of that's affective. 00:19:37.020 --> 00:19:50.580 Like, there are times where it might be something that appeals just at a, like an emotional level, but you are really about, "No, let's stick with the tried and true." You're the kind of person who's more like, "Hey, we've done this vacation before. 00:19:50.580 --> 00:19:51.801 I love that vacation. 00:19:51.801 --> 00:20:02.946 Let's do it again And I caution people, and it sounds like you guys have worked this out, but sometimes there's, again, it's the romantic appeal almost. 00:20:02.946 --> 00:20:11.116 And there then is this stereotype, and I think sometimes people who have a result like yours almost feel bad about themselves. 00:20:11.116 --> 00:20:18.468 Like, "Well, I'm not, you know, adventurous enough," or, "I'm not enough like that." Like, you are who you are. 00:20:18.468 --> 00:20:19.686

There's nothing wrong with that. 00:20:19.686 --> 00:20:24.596 Now, if your wife is very different, then that's something that you've gotta figure out. 00:20:24.596 --> 00:20:27.688 Like, okay, how can we both make this work? 00:20:27.688 --> 00:20:35.967 but yeah, a lot- my guess is a lot of people would look at your wife and go, no, that's totally… She's kinda in the middle on that, not way out there. 00:20:35.967 --> 00:20:39.277 But because you're more toward one end, you'd see that difference more. 00:20:39.757 --> 00:20:40.288 I do. 00:20:40.288 --> 00:20:41.426 Yeah, for sure. 00:20:41.426 --> 00:20:43.407 And I'm thankful for that. 00:20:43.407 --> 00:20:51.446 And, you know, her mantra is kind of, "The mountains are calling me, I gotta go," type of thing, you know? 00:20:51.446 --> 00:20:54.326 So, and so, and I just follow her lead. 00:20:54.326 --> 00:21:00.698 I try to go with following her lead because she hasn't s- steered me wrong yet, I will put it that way. 00:21:00.698 --> 00:21:02.597 And it's all been good. 00:21:02.597 --> 00:21:06.477 So, navigating sometimes can be an issue. 00:21:06.477 --> 00:21:25.880 The problem there being that, you know, even with the modern or the high-tech GPS and some of the programs, they don't know if you're riding a bicycle or a skateboard or if you're in a, you know- 40 feet, 11 inch motor home, so I just call it 41 feet. 00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:28.769 But anyway, yeah, it doesn't know, so- 00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:32.058 That's such an Eight and Fact Finder little distinction there. 00:21:32.058 --> 00:21:34.088 I love it, 'cause I'm an Eight and Fact Finder, too 00:21:34.220 --> 00:21:42.579 So sometimes navigat- and it, during our adventures, navigating can be, a little challenging sometimes. 00:21:42.579 --> 00:22:01.529 And we found ourselves in a few spots where, you know, we've, we've had to stop, and I'll knock on somebody's door and say, "Hey, can we use your driveway to get turned?" Because first we gotta disconnect the car from the coach, 'cause you can't back it up. 00:22:01.529 --> 00:22:11.170 And so sometimes it can be kind of, challenging and, But hey, we're still married, so that's, that's a good thing. 00:22:13.369 --> 00:22:26.269 Well, one of the things, a- another one of the areas where you're very similar is, in Fact Finder, you are both, she- she m- maybe not quite as much as you, but she's also a researcher, data, information person. 00:22:26.269 --> 00:22:32.159 So, you know, you can count on she's not just coming up with some wild hair she hasn't thought about and looked into. 00:22:32.159 --> 00:22:46.719 and that probably makes it easier for you to go with the flow when she's saying, "Let's… Hey, the mountains are calling. H- here's this idea." 'Cause she's, she will have also looked into it before you even need to. 00:22:46.719 --> 00:22:57.699 Now, you're gonna, as you've described before, you're gonna need to do some of that on your own, but it's easier for you to know, hey, she's suggesting we go to, I don't know, Estes Park, Colorado. 00:22:57.699 --> 00:22:58.858 You've probably been there. 00:22:58.858 --> 00:23:00.209 It's a popular spot. 00:23:00.209 --> 00:23:11.909 but she, if it's someplace you've never been, she probably did enough research to know, oh yeah, they've got campgrounds that are, will accommodate a 40 foot 11 inch h- motor home. 00:23:11.909 --> 00:23:16.719 and then you'll still do it and double check it, 'cause that's who you are. 00:23:16.719 --> 00:23:26.021 One thing, and I, it sounds like you guys have worked this out, but I, I say it to couples a lot who match your strengths in Fact Finder here. 00:23:26.021 --> 00:23:36.781 you each need to understand that when you are doing the research that she's already done, it's not because you don't trust her or don't think she's good at it or smart enough. 00:23:36.781 --> 00:23:39.240 It's just 'cause that's who you are. 00:23:39.240 --> 00:23:41.911 and the same thing in reverse. 00:23:41.911 --> 00:23:56.810 You do that stuff, and when you tell her, "Oh, here's the information I've gotten," if she either starts peppering you with questions or she then redoes the research that you've already done, if you find yourself getting frustrated like, "Hey, she should know. 00:23:56.810 --> 00:23:59.611 She should trust me on this stuff," it's not that she doesn't trust you. 00:23:59.611 --> 00:24:02.441 It's she just needs to get the answers herself. 00:24:02.441 --> 00:24:08.990 So I don't know, have you ever, either now or earlier in your relationship, were there times when that was frustrating for you? 00:24:09.540 --> 00:24:21.310 Frustrating for her because it's, because again, it's, it's just that inherent, I gotta, I gotta double-check this, you know? 00:24:21.310 --> 00:24:30.290 And s- and it's again, I try to emphasize to her that it's not a trust issue. 00:24:30.290 --> 00:24:47.682 It's just I just- I'm trying to, you know, look at all the variables and everything and make sure all the pieces fit together and, before we, you know, before we, start the journey. 00:24:47.682 --> 00:25:06.413 And, as far as… Yeah, I think that's been, well, I know that's been frustrating for her because I just, I have to go back in there and look at things and, s- it can, it can create some friction that way, yeah. 00:25:06.614 --> 00:25:07.673 Yeah, no, I get that. 00:25:07.673 --> 00:25:17.903 which is why I mentioned it 'cause I've seen it before, so I hope she's watching the podcast so she can hear me say, without you even prompting me, it's not about her. 00:25:17.903 --> 00:25:21.462 It's about your need to get that information for yourself. 00:25:21.462 --> 00:25:25.473 now having said that, you don't get a free pass. 00:25:25.473 --> 00:25:28.643 So, you know, this is the flip side. 00:25:28.643 --> 00:25:34.343 So yes, she needs to take a deep breath and remind herself, "Hey, it's just what Jim needs. 00:25:34.343 --> 00:25:35.134 It's about

him. 00:25:35.134 --> 00:25:55.792 It's not that he doesn't trust me or think I'm smart enough." The, but the part for you about not getting a free pass is you've r- already recognized that it can frustrate her, so ask for forgiveness sometimes ahead of time, and just tell her you know you're gonna research it and let her know, "Hey honey, just a reminder, I've got some questions. 00:25:55.792 --> 00:25:59.183 It's not about you, it's just about me. 00:25:59.183 --> 00:26:00.493 I'm sure you've done the research. 00:26:00.493 --> 00:26:21.103 Frankly, it's me showing you that I actually do trust the research and I do think you're smart, but I'm gonna show you the respect of asking the questions because I know you'll give me good information." Or if you're gonna go out and get it on your own, it's like, "I know I'm not gonna take your time 'cause I respect your time, but just for me, I'm gonna go do the same stuff you've already done. 00:26:21.103 --> 00:26:22.383 It's not 'cause I don't trust you. 00:26:22.383 --> 00:26:36.973 It's about me, honey." When you take that extra 30 seconds before she's frustrated to tell her why you're doing it is a sign of respect. Honestly, it's I, "I know this about you, I know this about me. 00:26:36.973 --> 00:26:41.782 I wanna make sure you understand why I'm doing it." And again, you've been together for 58 years. 00:26:41.782 --> 00:27:00.258 She knows it, but I don't care how long you've been together, it's still nice to hear from your partner that they care about you enough that they're taking the time to tell you, "I know this could be annoying, but it's not about what you might think." So, and my wife and I do this pretty often. 00:27:00.258 --> 00:27:02.607 I'm, I had mentioned I'm an eight in Fact Finder. 00:27:02.607 --> 00:27:09.518 I've had to learn that I'm not so good and patient when people ask me questions and wanna go deeper. 00:27:09.518 --> 00:27:17.926 Sometimes I do take it as, "Are you kidding? I've already done this. Why are you making me h- rehash it?" But it's okay. 00:27:17.926 --> 00:27:22.176 Like, they deserve to be able to ask the questions. 00:27:22.176 --> 00:27:25.876 So really for me, that's telling myself, "David, take a deep breath. 00:27:25.876 --> 00:27:27.196 They're not challenging you. 00:27:27.196 --> 00:27:44.117 It's okay." Now, what I've also learned, my wife's different than yours. She's, she's not an initiating Fact Finder, so I will stop and I will ask her, "Well, honey, I could give you 15 minutes on this answer, which is what I'm about to do if you really wanna know the answer. 00:27:44.117 --> 00:27:58.277 So tell me how much information you really want." Because I also don't… And sometimes if I haven't taken the time to take a deep breath and I just react 'cause I'm triggered, like, why isn't she just okay with the two things I've already told her? 00:27:58.277 --> 00:28:03.656 I can kind of childishly go into, "Oh, fine, you want all the information? 00:28:03.656 --> 00:28:13.367 I'm gonna waste your time, and I'm gonna give you all the information that I don't think you need or want." That's not helpful either, and that's more about me not being good at self-regulation. 00:28:13.367 --> 00:28:19.267 So, but then when I stop and ask her, then she can tell me, "Honey, look, I just want three more things. 00:28:19.267 --> 00:28:21.946 Can you just tell me three more?" And I'm like, "Perfect. 00:28:21.946 --> 00:28:22.557 I hear you. 00:28:22.557 --> 00:28:25.592 Thanks." And you know- I'm fine. 00:28:26.761 --> 00:28:27.041 Yeah. 00:28:27.041 --> 00:28:28.172 Communication. 00:28:28.172 --> 00:28:30.551 Yeah, it's, yeah. 00:28:30.551 --> 00:28:31.842 And, 00:28:31.842 --> 00:28:33.261 That's one of those basic things. 00:28:33.261 --> 00:28:37.351 Everybody knows it, but it's sometimes hard to keep in mind and practice. 00:28:37.351 --> 00:28:38.632 Communication is key. 00:28:38.632 --> 00:28:45.152 Whether it's a personal relationship, a professional one, a little bit of extra time communicating goes a long way. 00:28:45.570 --> 00:28:45.881 Yeah. 00:28:45.881 --> 00:28:47.451 Sure does. 00:28:47.451 --> 00:28:48.021 Yeah. 00:28:48.290 --> 00:28:56.281 So what things day to day do you wanna talk about or do you have questions about now that you've gotten your Kolbe results? 00:28:56.281 --> 00:28:58.691 How can you apply them day to day? 00:28:58.990 --> 00:29:06.311 Being able to, stay focused and, on track, not getting distracted. 00:29:06.311 --> 00:29:10.631 At level eight, being a, procrastinating. 00:29:10.631 --> 00:29:15.101 That has become a- an issue with me is procrastinating. 00:29:15.101 --> 00:29:17.270 And, when I- So 00:29:17.290 --> 00:29:21.711 let- let's take that one, and then we can kinda maybe work backward on the focused and stuff. 00:29:21.711 --> 00:29:37.340 But with procrastinating, I think with somebody with your result, one thing that can happen is because of your high need for data and information and doing analysis with that data and information, that can make things take a long time. 00:29:37.340 --> 00:29:41.230 It can also sometimes combine with your one in Quick Start. 00:29:41.230 --> 00:29:47.201 Sometimes you are hesitant to pull the trigger on something, you know, to just take that next step. 00:29:47.201 --> 00:30:07.832 So I think a technique for you would be identify for yourself how much time is there for that data-gathering information analysis phase of things before you just need to say, "Nope, that's it." And then finding a way, and maybe it is with your wife, she can maybe hold you accountable. 00:30:07.832 --> 00:30:12.540 Like, "Hey, you've got a day," or, "You've got four hours," or whatever the length of time is. 00:30:12.540 --> 00:30:20.000 and then after that length of time, there's a decision point where there's a- an action necessary. 00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:26.371 And you can even identify whatever that is, and sometimes what's good is

pick a small action that you know you can do. 00:30:26.371 --> 00:30:41.611 So sometimes the decision point, you know, you might think, "Well, it's too early to make the big decision on something." And that's what can get you held up is, "Ugh, can I really make the- that big decision?" It's easy to put that one off 'cause, oh, I don't know, there's still these six things I'd like to know. 00:30:41.611 --> 00:30:46.451 But if you then make it an action point rather than… or a smaller decision. 00:30:46.451 --> 00:30:48.260 Like, it's not the entire thing. 00:30:48.260 --> 00:30:54.111 It's either a smaller action point or a smaller decision point, not the big decision. 00:30:54.111 --> 00:30:56.162 It gets you moving. 00:30:56.162 --> 00:31:03.412 So okay, look, I've got four hours of research, and at the end of that four hours, I have to take a certain action, the next step. 00:31:03.412 --> 00:31:05.971 And the next step is less daunting. 00:31:05.971 --> 00:31:21.371 and I think particularly with the transition into retirement, what happens sometimes is there are… When you're working professionally, there's an outside actor that's forcing that either decision point or action. 00:31:21.371 --> 00:31:25.933 And you can't get away from the outside, so it's like an accountability person. 00:31:25.933 --> 00:31:29.253 And that's why I'm saying maybe bring your wife into it so it's not just you. 00:31:29.253 --> 00:31:32.183 But in your job, it's like, well, sure, I could. 00:31:32.183 --> 00:31:37.564 I maybe would normally take another two days to take that next action or make a decision. 00:31:37.564 --> 00:31:39.044 I don't have that luxury. 00:31:39.044 --> 00:31:40.554 Somebody is forcing me to do it. 00:31:40.554 --> 00:31:47.932 So if you can't impose that yourself, and so- and I would challenge you, sometimes you don't think you can, but you can. 00:31:47.932 --> 00:31:49.673 Like with you would be a checklist. 00:31:49.673 --> 00:31:55.733 You're not, You know, with your six in Follow Thru, you will follow a plan and a system. 00:31:55.733 --> 00:32:02.702 so you can do some of that stuff, and you can show yourself, oh, look, here's the next, point on that flowchart. 00:32:02.702 --> 00:32:07.243 So maybe that's the next, as I'm saying, the branch in the flowchart or something. 00:32:07.243 --> 00:32:09.864 And when you're at that stage, you can do it. 00:32:09.864 --> 00:32:12.913 But it's also with your eight in Fact Finder, it's like a checklist. 00:32:12.913 --> 00:32:15.542 Like, oh, I've done these three checks. 00:32:16.202 --> 00:32:19.883 00, I've got to do- check off that next one. 00:32:19.883 --> 00:32:26.053 That's the kind of thing that you can do either as a self-imposed discipline or your wife can do it. 00:32:26.053 --> 00:32:27.863 Like you can come up with a checklist. 00:32:27.863 --> 00:32:31.633 You post it on the fridge or, you know, wherever. 00:32:31.633 --> 00:32:35.123 Just hand it to your wife and say, "Honey, will you make sure that I 00:32:35.123 --> 00:32:43.493 00 PM tomorrow?" She'd be like, "Yeah, I would be happy to hold you to account on that." It's kind of a fun game. 00:32:43.493 --> 00:32:50.702 but yeah, that outside actor from work isn't there anymore, so find a way to recreate it. 00:32:51.212 --> 00:32:51.682 Yeah. 00:32:51.682 --> 00:32:58.493 No, that's, that's, that's an excellent, approach, suggestion. 00:32:58.493 --> 00:33:18.923 because I'm, I'm, I'm reminded on a fairly often basis to prioritize and, to establish the priorities and that's the iss- Again, when I was aviating, no problem. 00:33:18.923 --> 00:33:19.723 You know? 00:33:19.723 --> 00:33:21.163 I had the focus. 00:33:21.163 --> 00:33:22.563 I could multitask. 00:33:22.563 --> 00:33:24.303 I knew the priorities. 00:33:24.303 --> 00:33:26.742 All of that fell in line. 00:33:26.742 --> 00:33:36.762 But here, again, I'm, I'm being reminded, not on a daily basis, but, prioritize. 00:33:36.762 --> 00:33:44.113 And that's where I have, challenges because again, the distractions. 00:33:44.113 --> 00:33:50.824 You know, I'll, I'll start over here and then it, as she calls it, I have an ice cream moment or a squirrel moment. 00:33:50.824 --> 00:33:51.094 You know? 00:33:51.094 --> 00:33:55.064 As I'm focusing in, oh, squirrel or ice cream or, you know. 00:33:55.064 --> 00:34:01.003 So now I'm over there, and then I'm over here, and then consequently nothing gets done. 00:34:01.003 --> 00:34:01.884 You know? 00:34:01.884 --> 00:34:02.363 So- 00:34:03.053 --> 00:34:03.323 Yeah. 00:34:03.323 --> 00:34:09.762 So- Figure out what both of you, and this sounds like it's a together, this is a team thing. 00:34:09.762 --> 00:34:17.981 So if she has her priorities and it's important to her that you knock some of those things off, then come to an agreement. 00:34:17.981 --> 00:34:30.731 Again, the communication part is, "Honey, look, which are your priorities? And to some extent, since we're a team and a couple, yeah, I will take those on and they're my priorities too." But then there's a, then there's a negotiation. 00:34:30.731 --> 00:34:31.960 So which are hers? 00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:34.510 Does she get all of hers and none of your own? 00:34:34.510 --> 00:34:42.733 And another thing is build in time for ice cream and squirrel moments Like, that's perfectly… Well, two things. 00:34:42.733 --> 00:34:44.373 Number one, it's perfectly all right. 00:34:44.373 --> 00:34:46.204 It's also realistic. 00:34:46.204 --> 00:34:54.543 Like, so, you know, systems don't work well when they don't take reality into place, and you know that from, you know, your days as an aviator. 00:34:54.543 --> 00:35:05.083 If you just think, "Well, it's always gonna go by the book, and it's never gonna deviate," and we have a really brittle system that only works when things go to plan, that's a bad system. 00:35:05.083 --> 00:35:07.552 It needs to have some flexibility. 00:35:07.552 --> 00:35:14.014 It needs to be

stronger and a little flexible rather than super rigid but brittle. 00:35:14.014 --> 00:35:17.932 So same thing, you know, with your married and retired life. 00:35:17.932 --> 00:35:19.233 So what are the priorities? 00:35:19.233 --> 00:35:20.043 Which are yours? 00:35:20.043 --> 00:35:20.804 Which are mine? 00:35:20.804 --> 00:35:22.742 Where's the flexibility? 00:35:22.742 --> 00:35:35.552 So yeah, in the course of a day, there are six squirrel and ice cream moments, but it doesn't get us out of by the end of the day or the week, here are the top things that need to be done. 00:35:35.552 --> 00:35:45.012 But what's… I'm not… It's interesting to hear you say it because initiating factor- fact-finders set priorit- priorities. 00:35:45.012 --> 00:35:53.362 You don't always check 'em off the list, but it's very natural for you to have to prioritize things and come up with the checklist. 00:35:53.362 --> 00:36:02.393 That, the checklist and set of priorities are more natural for you than a really thorough plan for how that's all gonna happen with your follow-through. 00:36:02.393 --> 00:36:05.963 Again, you live within plans rather than create them from scratch. 00:36:05.963 --> 00:36:09.043 But you'll do those priorities as long as you set 'em out. 00:36:09.043 --> 00:36:10.853 But you guys can do that as a team. 00:36:10.853 --> 00:36:25.682 Again, she can do some of 'em rather than just saying, "Well, you have to come up with all of them." But as long as there's buy-in, like with your, you're gonna need to essentially ratify them and take them on as your own because with your eight and Fact Finder, that's gonna be important part of you getting 'em done. 00:36:26.052 --> 00:36:30.092 All good information, good, suggestions and- 00:36:30.342 --> 00:36:46.322 You know, you've gotta figure out what works for you, which is why I'm suggesting the checklists and the getting information and building in, you know, opportunities to get distracted if that's what happens, while still focusing on what needs to get done and what actually has to get done. 00:36:46.322 --> 00:36:51.422 But it's also giving yourself the grace, not all the things have to get done. 00:36:51.422 --> 00:36:53.922 So, you know, that's okay, too. 00:36:53.922 --> 00:37:02.182 If it's… And that's why is it really a priority or is it a, oh, you know, here are things that at some point can get done, but they don't have to be done today or this week. 00:37:02.182 --> 00:37:03.472 They could be put off for a while. 00:37:03.472 --> 00:37:08.242 It's like, okay, well, then you didn't miss a deadline if you put off something that doesn't need to be done. 00:37:08.242 --> 00:37:15.333 Just because it's the next one that happened to have been written down doesn't mean it necessarily is the one you're gonna do next. 00:37:15.632 --> 00:37:15.902 Yeah. 00:37:15.902 --> 00:37:17.123 Yeah. 00:37:17.123 --> 00:37:30.572 some of that is internal pressure, if you will, or my own expectations of what I

should, you know, be doing and a lot of that comes from inside. 00:37:30.842 --> 00:37:38.472 Well, and that's where if it's more of an internal should- I mean, I'll kind of ask you to challenge some of those things. 00:37:38.472 --> 00:37:41.472 So do you really need to? 00:37:41.472 --> 00:37:48.961 And if you… Look, if you want to, whether it's need or want, if you feel like you should, okay, after reflection. 00:37:48.961 --> 00:37:58.452 But I'd say there are things that maybe you don't actually need to get done, and if it's a self-imposed should, then that means you can let it go. 00:37:58.452 --> 00:38:06.161 Like should from a safety standpoint, yeah, look, I should check on these safety things with my vehicle before we go on a long drive. 00:38:06.161 --> 00:38:06.802 Yeah, you should. 00:38:06.802 --> 00:38:10.612 So make yourself do that, and I'm not, I'm not worried about that. 00:38:10.612 --> 00:38:15.811 You- between your learned behavior and your attention to detail with your fact finder, those things are gonna happen. 00:38:15.811 --> 00:38:29.740 But if it's other stuff that's more of a, "Ugh, I feel bad when I don't do all these things because that's the way I used to operate," yeah, but maybe you don't need to do some of those things anymore, and that's okay, and you can let it go. 00:38:29.740 --> 00:38:35.621 And that is a, that's a more internal one that takes longer to unlearn some of that learned behavior. 00:38:35.621 --> 00:38:40.590 And that's, again, giving yourself the grace of it's all right. 00:38:40.590 --> 00:38:41.391 You know? 00:38:41.391 --> 00:38:42.952 I've thought about it. 00:38:42.952 --> 00:38:46.012 It doesn't have to happen that way, and it actually suits me better. 00:38:46.012 --> 00:38:49.610 Yeah, I can give myself more time to look into stuff. 00:38:49.610 --> 00:38:54.851 You're not violating some actually important principle by not doing it today. 00:38:55.501 --> 00:38:56.831 No, that all sounds good. 00:38:56.831 --> 00:39:13.920 Now it's just implementing, you know, the ideas, the suggestions, and but it all sounds good to me because I… You know, you're on this, you know, like the o- the expression, you know, you're a work in progress, you know? 00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:23.541 So you're, you, you wanna get here, you know, wherever here is, but you try and minimize the bumps in the road, to get there. 00:39:23.541 --> 00:39:28.001 But so all the, all the outside help, I welcome that. 00:39:28.001 --> 00:39:44.380 So I welcome what you, I'm thankful what you've told me and suggestions and an approach that I can take or different approaches and, more communication, maybe more accountability on the part of my commander-in-chief there. 00:39:44.380 --> 00:39:49.822 but, no, it all sounds good, so I appreciate it. 00:39:49.891 --> 00:39:50.380 Well, good. 00:39:50.380 --> 00:39:53.231 I'm glad it's been helpful, and thank you so much for your time. 00:39:53.231 --> 00:39:54.762 I really appreciate you being on.