TRANSCRIPT 🔗
Megan Devito: Time travel with me for a minute. It's a little over three weeks until the end of the year. You walk down the hall and you see a closed door. And through the window, there's a handful of people all sitting around a table, and you hear your name come up in their conversation, but no specifics because you're not in the room. What do you think they're saying about you? It's not just about what you've done. It's about what they remember about how you showed up. Welcome to Peak Performance Mindset. I'm Megan DeVito. I'm a performance mindset coach, a swim coach, and somebody who believes that your mental game drives everything. And before I continue, can I ask a quick favor? If you're on Spotify or Apple, hit follow so you don't miss the rest of this November series. And if you're on YouTube, subscribe now because there is so much good stuff coming up. Last week we talked about finishing the year strong, how to choose one goal to finish, one thing to release, and leading your team with intention and decisive action to help relieve stress, give you more time, and make you the most effective leader in the room. Today I want to talk about what's happening underneath all of that, how you are seen. If you're listening right now, I think I might know a little bit about you. You're really good at what you do. You are the person that people count on because you show up and you deliver. And you want the next level, not just for yourself, but for the people that you care about. A bigger impact, a seat at the table, a bigger role, but without giving up your life outside of your career. But here's the part that keeps you frustrated and stuck. You're doing the work and you're not seeing the results that you want yet. Let's name what's going on because naming it takes some of the power out of it. Psychology says that naming a problem or a feeling is important because it makes that vague, overwhelming, stressful situation more concrete. It gives you a focused pinpoint that you can manage, that you can create structure around, and it gives you an action to something that you can actually handle. It makes it tangible. So we have two kinds of problems in this situation. One is external and one is internal. You're going to hear this theme repeat over and over and over through November with different situations. Let's start with the external problems. These are problems or decisions about you that get made when you're not in the room. They're reviews or promotions or who gets the next big project. Those conversations happen without you and you can't really do anything about them. The internal problems are the things that you've told yourself, my work should speak for itself. People should just know how valuable I am to this company or this project or this problem. Internal problems also include thoughts I don't really know what I'm doing. Or she's just so much better at this than I am. Or they don't like me. Here is the unfortunate truth, my friends. Your work doesn't speak for itself and it can't. It doesn't have a voice, but you do. And there's a bigger problem hiding underneath both the internal and the external problems. A lot of leaders think that their presence is their personality, that you've either got it or you don't. Charismatic people get ahead, and the rest of us should just work harder or figure out how to fake it. I don't buy any of that though, because presence isn't about your personality. It's the signal that you put out, it's your vibe, it's your posture, it's your voice, it's your pace. And signals can be trained and you can fine-tune those into new habits. You can check out my previous episode on executive presence on YouTube or wherever you listen. I've linked both in the descriptions. Here's the truth. I'm not an executive. I'm a former teacher. I am a certified coach. I am a competitive swim coach for over 15 years. Before a swimmer ever even touches the water, I can read a lot about how they're going to swim from how they're standing behind the blocks. I can look at their shoulders. I can see their routine. I can see how they're breathing or where their eyes are focused. And I've had more than 800 hours of one-on-one coaching conversations with executives, entrepreneurs, leaders, and athletes off of the pool deck. So whether you're in the boardroom or on a starting block, what you think and if you succeed is decided before you open your mouth or before you dive into a pool. The good news is that you get to influence what they think about you and how you make an impact. And here are the three steps that you can control and start practicing today. Step one, you have to get calm first. The rule I come back to over and over is calm first, then execute, not the other way around. So before a big meeting, before a big review or a hard conversation, take 60 seconds or whatever time you've got and center yourself. Feet on the floor, a long slow inhale, and a longer exhale. That's important. Exhale longer than you inhale. Drop your shoulders, lift your chin a little bit, slow down your pace, slower than feels natural. Move slowly, breathe slowly, be slow on purpose. When your nervous system is calm, your voice is steady, your thinking opens up and you stop over explaining yourself. The steadiness is what people read as confidence and presence. If you try to execute when you're anxious and you're a big bundle of nerves and you try to calm down later, It's too late you've already blown it. Step two, once a week, send your boss three things. One, what'd you do this week? What did you complete? Do this as a responsible casual update, not as some sort of scorecard. Next, what are you focused on? What's coming up next week or by the end of the month? Keep them in the loop. And finally, what do you need? What's one thing you need from them or from your team to help you succeed and help them achieve their goal? Which likely, probably aligns with your goal and your aspirations to level up. That's it. It's two minutes. This is not bragging. It's making sure that the people deciding about you have the information that they need to make an informed decision about what you're up to. If you don't tell the story of your work, somebody else will or nobody will. and you probably won't like how those situations turn out. If you're thinking, Megan, this is exactly where I get stuck. This is what I work on with my one-on-one coaching clients. There's a free performance audit linked in the show notes and in the description. Book one or leave me a comment or send me a DM on LinkedIn and we can set something up so that I can help you feel confident and make that big ask in the end of year of review. And finally, step three, you have to name what's missing. And this takes courage. You need to pick one person that you trust and respect at your job. And you need to ask them two questions. The first one is, what do you see me doing really well? Let them tell you. And then what's one thing that I need to focus on or improve? Just listen. Don't defend yourself. Don't explain. You're not guessing at that gap between how you're performing and how you're perceived anymore. You're being told in real time and you can start making new choices and decisions that help you improve. Plus, you get to hear some great things about what you're doing and know exactly what you need to do. So here are the two versions of you that could show up in December. One walks in tired and invisible, just hoping that their work will speak for themselves. The other walks in steady and confident with a clear story, and everyone in the room already knows what you've done because they've watched you do it. Same person, same skills, different results, different signals. Let's sum this whole thing up. First, you have to get calm. Take 60 seconds before you go into the room to breathe, get centered, maybe turn yourself into a dragon. Second, say exactly how you're feeling, exactly where you're headed, state it clearly. And next, name the gap by asking one person two questions. If your work is strong, but your presence isn't landing the way it should be, we can work on that. You can burk. You can book a performance audit at MeganDevito.com forward slash audit. The link is in the show notes. And if this helped you, share it with one leader who needs it. Until next time, remember, pressure isn't the problem. The old habits you bring into it are. I'll see you next week.