Full Transcript for S7 EP8: Joel Dommett

days for Hold 41 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:44.159 the Front Page Series 2. But let's remember, Hold the 42 00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:46.489 Front Page Series 1 is the thing that started the 43 00:01:46.510 --> 00:01:47.430 whole thing in the first place. 44 00:01:48.510 --> 00:01:50.310 So you're also going to be triggered a little by 45 00:01:50.329 --> 00:01:52.269 that because you're going back to a thing that sort 46 00:01:52.310 --> 00:01:55.349 of stressed you out. Thoroughly enjoyed it during the filming. 47 00:01:55.909 --> 00:01:56.349 Got home. 48 00:01:56.689 --> 00:01:59.120 Oh, I had done Last Leg the night before, so 49 00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:00.620 I had to get the car straight from Last Leg 50 00:02:00.980 --> 00:02:03.359 to Southampton, then get the ferry to the Isle of 51 00:02:03.420 --> 00:02:07.459 Wight the first thing in the morning before filming 12-hour days. 52 00:02:08.710 --> 00:02:10.490 I thought I've dealt with this very well. Got on 53 00:02:10.509 --> 00:02:14.800 the boat back. I was a little manic. Started doing 54 00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:17.379 some work on the boat home. Don't know why I 55 00:02:17.439 --> 00:02:18.800 needed to do that. Just felt like. 56 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:21.139 Just rest. Just relax. Just rest. But no. 57 00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:23.599 Bit of an exciting moment on the boat, Rob. Got 58 00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:25.840 asked whether I was on the ferry. Got asked whether 59 00:02:25.860 --> 00:02:27.759 I wanted to come up and steer the boat with 60 00:02:27.780 --> 00:02:28.259 the captain. 61 00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:30.180 He's like, I've already got enough work on, mate. Done 62 00:02:30.219 --> 00:02:31.580 another job. I was up there like a. 63 00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:34.080 Fucking shock because I was so manic. Let's get this 64 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:34.979 boat fucking. 65 00:02:34.699 --> 00:02:37.340 Steering, mate. Before I actually ask to think about how 66 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:39.659 I feel about it, let's get on there. Let's drive 67 00:02:39.699 --> 00:02:42.629 the boat. Got in the car, home, carried on doing 68 00:02:42.669 --> 00:02:46.189 work for another hour. Absolutely insane. What was I thinking? 69 00:02:46.210 --> 00:02:46.789 What are you doing? 70 00:02:46.830 --> 00:02:51.069 What work is this? Writing jokes or organising admin stuff? 71 00:02:51.090 --> 00:02:54.009 What are you doing? Just thinking about going back to stand-up, 72 00:02:54.030 --> 00:02:55.409 stuff like that. Right, yeah. 73 00:02:55.469 --> 00:02:59.469 Organising stuff like that. I went mental, Rob. I went 74 00:02:59.509 --> 00:03:01.129 mental last week for a day. 75 00:03:01.159 --> 00:03:03.180 Yeah. 76 00:03:03.319 --> 00:03:03.840 Got home. 77 00:03:04.560 --> 00:03:06.520 Tried to read my book for an hour in the car, home, 78 00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:07.539 couldn't read, I was too manic. 79 00:03:07.900 --> 00:03:08.500 Yeah. 80 00:03:08.939 --> 00:03:12.000 Got home, too manic to sleep. Next day, the anxiety 81 00:03:12.099 --> 00:03:12.939 through the roof again. 82 00:03:13.219 --> 00:03:15.879 So you didn't sleep at all, basically, that night? Ten pints, 83 00:03:15.979 --> 00:03:18.780 blur dock, straight to sleep. Well, no, this is the thing. 84 00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:22.729 Yeah. I realised a year ago, I used to, when 85 00:03:22.750 --> 00:03:27.189 I was feeling anxiety, I'd get drunk. No, not in 86 00:03:27.229 --> 00:03:28.210 my locker anymore, Rob. 87 00:03:28.590 --> 00:03:29.020 So what do you do now? 88 00:03:29.030 --> 00:03:31.550 I haven't got that weapon. Just suck it up. 89 00:03:31.930 --> 00:03:32.050 Work. 90 00:03:32.090 --> 00:03:32.310 Work. 91 00:03:33.069 --> 00:03:34.210 Just, no. 92 00:03:34.270 --> 00:03:37.150 So then I, then the next day it calmed down 93 00:03:37.169 --> 00:03:38.870 and it went away because I knew what it was. 94 00:03:39.030 --> 00:03:41.669 I knew I wasn't blaming the sleeping pills. I wasn't thinking, 95 00:03:41.710 --> 00:03:44.330 what is this? I wasn't thinking I've got insomnia. I 96 00:03:44.370 --> 00:03:45.909 just knew this shall pass. 97 00:03:46.189 --> 00:03:48.590 Because I knew your work schedule was quite intense because 98 00:03:48.620 --> 00:03:51.580 you're basically like, you worked... 10 days in a row, essentially, 99 00:03:51.620 --> 00:03:53.349 no days off, and then back to looking after the 100 00:03:53.370 --> 00:03:56.110 kids and still working. So I knew you was under 101 00:03:56.129 --> 00:03:57.750 the cosh a bit, especially from doing this. And then 102 00:03:57.789 --> 00:04:00.289 I saw you post on Instagram, writing some new ideas 103 00:04:00.330 --> 00:04:01.969 for stand-up. And I was like, he's lost his head. 104 00:04:02.330 --> 00:04:05.340 His head's gone. I've gone, I've gone, I've gone. I 105 00:04:05.379 --> 00:04:07.199 messaged you just going, no, you don't need to do that. 106 00:04:07.219 --> 00:04:07.639 Stop writing. 107 00:04:07.659 --> 00:04:09.620 And I left the cafe because I do what I'm told. 108 00:04:12.430 --> 00:04:14.710 I was like, if I write in a cafe, I'm 109 00:04:14.750 --> 00:04:16.230 relaxing because I'm in a cafe, right? 110 00:04:16.250 --> 00:04:18.170 So I'm having a cup of tea in a cafe. 111 00:04:18.389 --> 00:04:20.350 So if I'm writing in a cafe, I'm just being 112 00:04:20.370 --> 00:04:21.269 a relaxing guy. 113 00:04:21.290 --> 00:04:28.870 I'm just chilling out. Did you write many jokes? 114 00:04:29.610 --> 00:04:29.870 No. 115 00:04:30.189 --> 00:04:34.490 No. Just sat there rocking. A little bit about ordering 116 00:04:34.509 --> 00:04:38.269 a curry and then left. Is it funny? We'll see 117 00:04:38.329 --> 00:04:40.399 when I finally get to gig. I've got a new 118 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:44.439 bit about curry. No, when you order a takeaway, right, 119 00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:47.230 they've just got to stop sending the little bag of salad. 120 00:04:47.750 --> 00:04:49.490 Oh, yeah, that is

funny. What is the little bag? 121 00:04:49.529 --> 00:04:50.529 No one's eating that, fuck it. 122 00:04:50.569 --> 00:04:53.569 No one's eating. Also, if I'm eating a bag of salad, 123 00:04:54.129 --> 00:04:55.449 if you're eating salad, I don't want it in a 124 00:04:55.470 --> 00:04:57.189 plastic bag that you'd use to pick up dog shit. 125 00:04:57.209 --> 00:04:59.370 It's so sweaty. Yeah, it's so sweaty. 126 00:04:59.629 --> 00:05:01.970 And it's so sweaty because it's been in a bag 127 00:05:02.529 --> 00:05:04.980 on the back of a motorbike next to a curry. 128 00:05:07.089 --> 00:05:08.889 Who's putting a bag of salad next to a pie 129 00:05:08.910 --> 00:05:10.850 but not carry? So I'll turn that into a bit probably. 130 00:05:10.870 --> 00:05:12.269 So if you come and see me in about three 131 00:05:12.300 --> 00:05:14.439 years time, I'll be smashing that out. Yeah, you'll enjoy that. 132 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:17.319 Crunching that out, Carlisle Sands Theatre, which is basically a 133 00:05:17.339 --> 00:05:17.759 sports hall. 134 00:05:18.199 --> 00:05:20.079 Oh yeah, I've been there. I'm quite looking forward to 135 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:22.339 it though. I've got, I've got, but I don't know 136 00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:23.870 whether I'm looking forward to it or whether I'm just 137 00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:26.129 manic still. But I think I'm chilled now. I'm pretty 138 00:05:26.189 --> 00:05:26.629 chilled now. 139 00:05:26.990 --> 00:05:28.810 And how's your weekend looking? Are you working this weekend? 140 00:05:28.870 --> 00:05:29.129 Are you off? 141 00:05:29.810 --> 00:05:33.370 Uh, It's my friend's birthday, but Plymouth are away at Watford, 142 00:05:33.430 --> 00:05:35.889 so it's a difficult choice on the Saturday afternoon. No, Plymouth. 143 00:05:35.930 --> 00:05:37.069 You've got to go Plymouth-Watford. 144 00:05:37.790 --> 00:05:38.389 Wow. 145 00:05:38.410 --> 00:05:40.269 You spend too much time with your friends, and I 146 00:05:40.310 --> 00:05:41.149 reckon you've got too many. 147 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:45.920 No, because they've... It's a kid... They've got kids... So, basically, 148 00:05:45.959 --> 00:05:47.399 I've got to go to Rose. You know that birthday 149 00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:49.860 we were going to? Yeah, yeah. Well, I can no 150 00:05:49.899 --> 00:05:51.779 longer drive you to South East London. You're left with 151 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:53.259 the two kids, and I'm going to go to Watford 152 00:05:53.279 --> 00:05:53.959 versus Plymouth. 153 00:05:54.430 --> 00:05:54.959 I respect that. 154 00:05:54.990 --> 00:05:56.089 LAUGHTER My man. 155 00:05:56.149 --> 00:06:02.730 LAUGHTER But if Rose drove, you could just, that would 156 00:06:02.750 --> 00:06:05.209 be fine. Because the issue there is not really going, 157 00:06:05.269 --> 00:06:07.810 so when she passes, that'll be, you'll be away. 158 00:06:07.970 --> 00:06:12.180 That's a difficult argument, Rob. Just so you know, when 159 00:06:12.189 --> 00:06:14.180 you pass, this will be fine, but you haven't passed, 160 00:06:14.189 --> 00:06:14.939 so see you later. 161 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:18.699 Yes, I understand that doesn't help you now. But what 162 00:06:18.740 --> 00:06:22.759 time's the party? Can't you drop them off at the party, 163 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:24.579 drive up to Watford, watch the game, drive back and 164 00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:24.980 pick them up? 165 00:06:25.800 --> 00:06:28.740 No, Watford's a long way from South East London. 166 00:06:28.980 --> 00:06:30.120 No, we're in South East London. 167 00:06:30.490 --> 00:06:33.170 Crystal Palace Park. This is, should we just bring on 168 00:06:33.189 --> 00:06:35.180 Joel Dommett? This is bad. This is bad, right? 169 00:06:35.209 --> 00:06:36.740 Do you want to ask Joel Dommett? I want to 170 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:38.660 ask him because this is, he hasn't had the baby yet. 171 00:06:38.680 --> 00:06:40.500 This is the pre-baby chat. Then we're getting back on 172 00:06:40.620 --> 00:06:43.860 for the chat once I've had the baby. What is his, 173 00:06:44.259 --> 00:06:46.160 his body is unbelievable, Josh. Yeah, what's he going to 174 00:06:46.180 --> 00:06:47.459 do about his body? He's sitting on Instagram with his 175 00:06:47.519 --> 00:06:50.189 phone in his mouth and his neck and muscles. 176 00:06:50.750 --> 00:06:50.889 Yeah. 177 00:06:51.029 --> 00:06:53.889 And I want to know what his current workout schedule is. 178 00:06:54.589 --> 00:06:54.769 Yeah. 179 00:06:55.189 --> 00:06:56.870 And then we can ask him when he comes back on, 180 00:06:56.910 --> 00:06:59.930 what is he doing now? Okay, well, let's segue into 181 00:06:59.949 --> 00:07:01.970 the interview and you'll hear us asking that. I'm asking 182 00:07:01.990 --> 00:07:05.740 that immediately. We're literally doing that interview in a minute. Yeah, 183 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:07.839 I would just go watch Watford Plymouth, mate. You're not 184 00:07:07.860 --> 00:07:09.560 going to get many chances to see Plymouth that close 185 00:07:09.579 --> 00:07:11.220 to your house this season. 186 00:07:11.810 --> 00:07:13.949 Well, I'll let you know what I did. This is 187 00:07:13.990 --> 00:07:14.430 Joel Dormitt. 188 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.819 Joel Domet, welcome to the show. We are buzzing to 189 00:07:19.860 --> 00:07:22.629 have you on because we've been waiting a little while 190 00:07:22.670 --> 00:07:23.209 for this now. 191 00:07:23.370 --> 00:07:25.649 Rose is very excited. She said, when are you going 192 00:07:25.670 --> 00:07:28.430 to get Joel on? People are talking about this. 193 00:07:28.949 --> 00:07:33.209 Exactly. Well, you are expecting a child. Hannah is pregnant. 194 00:07:33.250 --> 00:07:34.129 How pregnant is Hannah? 195 00:07:35.189 --> 00:07:39.379 She is 35 weeks now. 196 00:07:39.379 --> 00:07:42.180 35 weeks. She can't fly. She can't fly. 197 00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:46.819 She can't fly, is that? No, she

can't leave me 198 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:48.680 to another country. Thank God. 199 00:07:48.819 --> 00:07:53.560 She can't abscond. So, is it 40 weeks when it's over? 200 00:07:54.199 --> 00:07:57.699 Yeah, I think so. We're such a group of men. 201 00:07:57.879 --> 00:08:00.579 Well, no, but we are such a group of men. But, 202 00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:03.839 you know, you will have a more, if something's happening 203 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:06.699 inside you, you'll be slightly more on top of the details. 204 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:09.019 Well, I've been reading all the books, Rob. 205 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:11.589 Have you? That's classic, Joel. 206 00:08:11.689 --> 00:08:14.490 And I found out that in France, they let it 207 00:08:14.529 --> 00:08:15.730 go to 42 weeks. 208 00:08:16.290 --> 00:08:16.769 Really? 209 00:08:17.029 --> 00:08:18.370 What do they do? Just cross their legs? 210 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:21.149 I don't, I don't know. I've not, I don't, I 211 00:08:21.170 --> 00:08:22.129 didn't read that far. 212 00:08:22.329 --> 00:08:25.110 Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. But yeah, so they 213 00:08:25.129 --> 00:08:27.990 normally go over though, the first, the first two. 214 00:08:28.069 --> 00:08:28.470 Exactly. 215 00:08:28.490 --> 00:08:28.730 Yeah. 216 00:08:28.750 --> 00:08:31.990 I'm hoping so. I've got the NTAs. So I want 217 00:08:32.009 --> 00:08:33.149 to sort of get that done. 218 00:08:33.289 --> 00:08:36.169 When are the NTAs? 219 00:08:36.429 --> 00:08:39.470 Fairly soon to the, to the due date. 220 00:08:39.789 --> 00:08:40.309 Right. 221 00:08:40.590 --> 00:08:40.909 Okay. 222 00:08:40.929 --> 00:08:43.620 So what is, if she goes into labor on the 223 00:08:43.649 --> 00:08:45.889 day of the NTAs, which is live from the O2. 224 00:08:47.529 --> 00:08:49.340 just let me know what time I'll get there and 225 00:08:49.379 --> 00:08:50.840 I'll host it. Who's the backup? 226 00:08:51.159 --> 00:08:52.860 I feel like that's the dream. Well, they say they've 227 00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:54.580 got a contingency, but they won't tell me who it is. 228 00:08:54.779 --> 00:08:56.480 I know who it is. Oh, yeah, so do I. 229 00:08:56.480 --> 00:09:02.570 That Craig geezer that does this morning. He is ITV's 230 00:09:02.769 --> 00:09:05.330 president of murder. Good guy. Great guy. Does the rugby. 231 00:09:05.409 --> 00:09:05.909 Great guy. 232 00:09:06.070 --> 00:09:10.409 Craig Doyle. Craig Doyle. Good looking. Good looking. Great guy. 233 00:09:10.470 --> 00:09:11.309 Loves a bit of rugby. 234 00:09:11.769 --> 00:09:14.879 He will be there. The dream scenario is like that night, 235 00:09:15.450 --> 00:09:19.149 It happens, the waters break or whatever, you know, the cliche. 236 00:09:19.700 --> 00:09:23.500 And then there's all of the presenters there in the country. 237 00:09:23.960 --> 00:09:26.299 So then they can each do a section or something 238 00:09:26.320 --> 00:09:26.620 like that. 239 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:28.059 I thought you were going to say they could fight 240 00:09:28.100 --> 00:09:28.639 to the death. 241 00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.299 Yeah, they all fight, run to the front. 242 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:34.940 Have you discussed what the communication will be? Like, are 243 00:09:34.960 --> 00:09:36.279 you going to keep your phone on? 244 00:09:36.899 --> 00:09:40.080 That's what I'm thinking. Because, you know, it's live and 245 00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:42.549 so there's breaks everywhere. And so I'm thinking I'm just 246 00:09:42.570 --> 00:09:44.289 going to keep my phone on me and then just 247 00:09:44.370 --> 00:09:47.049 check during the breaks. Then I can come back from 248 00:09:47.110 --> 00:09:49.460 a break and then suddenly it's Craig Doyle. 249 00:09:49.860 --> 00:09:51.299 Craig Doyle's going to be stood there in the room. 250 00:09:51.539 --> 00:09:54.000 So the contingency is going to need to be someone 251 00:09:54.100 --> 00:09:54.990 there on the night. 252 00:09:55.230 --> 00:09:56.690 Yeah. And they won't tell me who it is. So 253 00:09:56.730 --> 00:09:59.659 I've got to keep guessing. It's like the fucking traitors. 254 00:09:59.799 --> 00:10:02.360 All you know is that Craig Doyle's going to send 255 00:10:02.399 --> 00:10:04.139 a curry to your house for. 256 00:10:04.080 --> 00:10:07.379 Hannah to eat. 257 00:10:07.700 --> 00:10:11.539 On the afternoon of the NTAs. Because Lou went into 258 00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:13.899 labour the day before I was doing 8 Out of 259 00:10:13.899 --> 00:10:17.139 10 Cats Christmas special, so I missed it. And someone 260 00:10:17.159 --> 00:10:20.070 else took the spot, so You may have to miss it, Joel, 261 00:10:20.090 --> 00:10:20.450 but yeah. 262 00:10:20.870 --> 00:10:24.389 I'll put you 10 counts for the birth. Don't fuck the. 263 00:10:24.250 --> 00:10:26.860 Telly for that. I was going to say. You missed 264 00:10:26.879 --> 00:10:28.820 the birth. Lou was having contractions while I was trying 265 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:30.639 to write for it. And halfway through a joke, I thought, 266 00:10:30.659 --> 00:10:32.159 I don't need to write a punchline here. She's going 267 00:10:32.179 --> 00:10:35.460 for it. This baby's coming out quicker than this joke. 268 00:10:37.590 --> 00:10:39.250 So how is Hannah, though? Is she all right? Is 269 00:10:39.269 --> 00:10:41.490 she having a good pregnancy? Is she feeling good? 270 00:10:41.899 --> 00:10:44.679 Yeah, she's doing very well. Like, you know, you kind 271 00:10:44.720 --> 00:10:47.539 of hear all these... This is the problem with... People 272 00:10:47.580 --> 00:10:50.700 just sort of put this horrible thing in your head 273 00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:52.139 that it's, like, awful. 274 00:10:52.460 --> 00:10:52.919 Yeah. 275 00:10:53.019 --> 00:10:55.419 Remember the podcast you're on, Joel. Remember what me and 276 00:10:55.470 --> 00:10:56.889 Rob are making our living from here. 277 00:10:56.909 --> 00:10:58.370 We talk

about the good bits as well. 278 00:10:58.929 --> 00:11:02.750 Honestly, I cannot tell you... I genuinely think this podcast 279 00:11:02.809 --> 00:11:06.009 is the reason that we're pregnant. Oh, my God. 280 00:11:06.029 --> 00:11:06.470 Really? 281 00:11:06.529 --> 00:11:09.029 I know it's a lot of pressure on you boys, but, like... 282 00:11:09.580 --> 00:11:12.899 I love this podcast. I genuinely love it a lot. 283 00:11:13.940 --> 00:11:16.639 Too much. Like, I listen to this podcast all the time. 284 00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:20.230 I read the book. I've watched you live twice. Yeah, 285 00:11:20.279 --> 00:11:21.620 you have. 286 00:11:21.659 --> 00:11:22.370 You came along. 287 00:11:22.779 --> 00:11:25.009 We went to watch you live, and then we listened 288 00:11:25.029 --> 00:11:27.250 to the podcast in the car, and then we got 289 00:11:27.289 --> 00:11:30.730 back from watching you live. And then, this is the 290 00:11:30.769 --> 00:11:34.639 worst part, Hannah can't fall asleep, right? Because she's pregnant. 291 00:11:34.940 --> 00:11:37.639 So she likes for me to read to her so 292 00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:41.039 she falls asleep easily. And so I read your book 293 00:11:41.100 --> 00:11:43.059 to her and she falls asleep. 294 00:11:43.539 --> 00:11:46.480 Oh, my word. But also, you've said pregnancy's going well. 295 00:11:46.710 --> 00:11:48.460 She can't go to sleep unless you read to her. 296 00:11:48.470 --> 00:11:49.539 Sounds like fucking hell. 297 00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:52.549 It's quite good, actually, because she then goes to sleep 298 00:11:52.610 --> 00:11:55.169 and I also get autocue practice. So it's a bit 299 00:11:55.190 --> 00:11:55.610 of both. 300 00:11:55.669 --> 00:11:59.899 LAUGHTER Absolute professional. What else do you read to her, Joel? 301 00:12:00.059 --> 00:12:02.659 Well, I do like reading the, at the moment I'm 302 00:12:02.679 --> 00:12:05.789 reading this, again, baby books. I know some people read 303 00:12:05.830 --> 00:12:08.970 loads and some people don't read loads. I'm reading this 304 00:12:09.029 --> 00:12:11.529 one called Cribsheet at the moment, which is very complicated. 305 00:12:11.570 --> 00:12:14.269 It's very good. But the writing is too small, man. 306 00:12:14.490 --> 00:12:15.309 It's like the Bible. 307 00:12:15.330 --> 00:12:16.049 Oof. 308 00:12:17.080 --> 00:12:18.740 I tap out of that. It could be the greatest 309 00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:20.720 book of all time that just speaks to me directly. 310 00:12:20.779 --> 00:12:21.440 It's too small. 311 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:24.340 It's too small, but it's because they're tricking you. Because 312 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:27.529 they're making, you look at it in the bookshop and 313 00:12:27.549 --> 00:12:29.450 you think, oh, that's a small book. I can absolutely 314 00:12:29.509 --> 00:12:32.370 smash that, you know? And then you get it home 315 00:12:32.470 --> 00:12:33.870 in small font. It's like, that's supposed to be a 316 00:12:33.889 --> 00:12:34.409 bigger book. 317 00:12:37.889 --> 00:12:41.820 I'm going to tell you, Rob, this is not for you, Cribsheet. Cribsheet, 318 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:42.539 what's it about? 319 00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:46.090 It is a data-driven guide to better parenting. 320 00:12:46.570 --> 00:12:52.870 Oh, fuck data. I can't think of anything. Oh, Excel. 321 00:12:53.029 --> 00:12:53.590 I'd enjoy this. 322 00:12:53.750 --> 00:12:54.649 I'd enjoy this. 323 00:12:54.690 --> 00:12:57.320 I proudly have never used Excel. 324 00:12:57.659 --> 00:12:58.860 Is this the kind of stuff that you do at 325 00:12:58.899 --> 00:13:02.000 a corporate? This sort of material. 326 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:04.840 Are you looking forward to the birth, Joel? 327 00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:09.419 I don't know. It's scary because it's so unknown. You 328 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:11.600 don't know what's going to happen. You hope that it's 329 00:13:11.620 --> 00:13:14.620 going to go a certain way, and we're trying our 330 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:17.179 best to make it go as planned. 331 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:19.820 What plans have you got, Joel? What's the setup at 332 00:13:19.860 --> 00:13:20.259 the moment? 333 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:23.549 We're hoping for, and it sounds very weird saying this, 334 00:13:23.970 --> 00:13:26.730 three boys, vaginal. 335 00:13:26.769 --> 00:13:33.409 Well, yeah, as opposed to anus. Mouth. 336 00:13:33.669 --> 00:13:34.090 Out the mouth. 337 00:13:35.220 --> 00:13:37.470 A pipe has got twisted somewhere and unfortunately it came 338 00:13:37.549 --> 00:13:39.970 out of your butthole. 339 00:13:39.990 --> 00:13:42.250 So you're hoping vaginal, a home, hospital, birthing unit. Hospital. 340 00:13:44.330 --> 00:13:47.830 Right uh we've been doing lots of hypnobirthing oh here we. 341 00:13:47.710 --> 00:13:49.590 Go have you been listening to the uh the tapes 342 00:13:49.610 --> 00:13:50.610 while you go to sleep. 343 00:13:50.389 --> 00:13:53.389 Yeah yeah yeah i listen to them we've been doing 344 00:13:53.409 --> 00:13:56.490 a breakfast this morning i was trying to enjoy porridge 345 00:13:56.509 --> 00:13:57.149 and there was. 346 00:13:57.110 --> 00:14:01.090 A video about porridge josh fucking loves porridge every day 347 00:14:01.590 --> 00:14:03.230 dirty gobbler he gobbles it up he has it. 348 00:14:03.190 --> 00:14:06.009 With water though i don't have it with water. 349 00:14:05.809 --> 00:14:08.470 Um so the hospital you're going to hospital so we're 350 00:14:08.490 --> 00:14:13.279 going to hospital how near is the hospital It's not like, again, 351 00:14:13.299 --> 00:14:15.490 this is stuff that you, I'm really glad we're having 352 00:14:15.509 --> 00:14:17.210 this chat because I feel like I've not talked to 353 00:14:17.250 --> 00:14:19.330 anyone about it. Okay. 354 00:14:19.370 --> 00:14:20.429 How close was your hospital? 355 00:14:21.570 --> 00:14:24.070 It was a drive. Yeah, 10, 15 minute. One, the 356

00:14:24.110 --> 00:14:26.009 first one was quite about a 10 minute drive. Second 357 00:14:26.049 --> 00:14:27.830 was about 15 minutes. Yeah, 10, 15 minute drive. 358 00:14:27.850 --> 00:14:28.490 Right. 359 00:14:28.509 --> 00:14:30.649 I was like half an hour. Is that okay? 360 00:14:30.669 --> 00:14:34.440 Yeah, it's fine. You've got fucking hours. 361 00:14:34.500 --> 00:14:34.860 Really? 362 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:37.220 Yeah. You've got plenty of time. 363 00:14:37.490 --> 00:14:38.769 Yeah, and also as well, if you get there a 364 00:14:38.870 --> 00:14:41.090 bit early, you can always go for like food nearby. 365 00:14:41.110 --> 00:14:45.190 Yeah, we were having breakfast after we'd been there. You know, 366 00:14:45.230 --> 00:14:46.389 you're just dispatched out. 367 00:14:46.350 --> 00:14:47.789 To do stuff. They will try and send you home 368 00:14:47.889 --> 00:14:50.590 quite quickly though. So you sometimes have to fight your 369 00:14:50.610 --> 00:14:51.230 corner slightly. 370 00:14:51.690 --> 00:14:51.970 Right. 371 00:14:51.990 --> 00:14:54.330 Because they will push it to the absolute nth degree. 372 00:14:54.590 --> 00:14:56.789 You know, because you know when you like hurt your hand. 373 00:14:56.889 --> 00:14:58.490 If you're as annoying as Rob, they try and get 374 00:14:58.509 --> 00:15:00.190 you out of the building. If you're charming and good 375 00:15:00.230 --> 00:15:01.450 looking like Joel and Hannah. 376 00:15:02.210 --> 00:15:06.389 They're going to go. you guys stay because they're doing 377 00:15:06.409 --> 00:15:08.250 it every day so you know if you cut like 378 00:15:08.269 --> 00:15:09.820 a if you've got like a three inch cut on 379 00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:11.460 your arm from doing something in the garden it's all 380 00:15:11.480 --> 00:15:13.220 bleeding and it's like blood everywhere you go in like 381 00:15:13.500 --> 00:15:15.299 oh my god my arm my arm they go yeah 382 00:15:15.340 --> 00:15:17.299 sit there we'll see in an hour you're like yeah 383 00:15:17.320 --> 00:15:19.440 but my arm's cut open like yeah it's the hospital 384 00:15:19.460 --> 00:15:22.899 they are that's what they're like so you can just 385 00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:24.559 sit there but yeah i think that'll be fine and 386 00:15:24.580 --> 00:15:26.330 you gotta remember the red book what's the red book 387 00:15:26.529 --> 00:15:28.090 you must know about the red book or is it 388 00:15:28.129 --> 00:15:30.230 all online these days No, just the red book. 389 00:15:30.269 --> 00:15:32.490 Do you not get the red book when you get 390 00:15:32.509 --> 00:15:32.970 the baby? 391 00:15:33.389 --> 00:15:35.470 No, you get the red book from the midwife appointments. 392 00:15:35.990 --> 00:15:36.470 Do you? 393 00:15:36.629 --> 00:15:38.169 And it's all written in there by hand. 394 00:15:38.529 --> 00:15:40.039 Are we talking about that thing you get in school? 395 00:15:40.440 --> 00:15:42.220 No, there's a bit. It's Hannah in the house. 396 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:44.539 Oh, is that the National Record of Achievement? 397 00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:47.259 No, that's the National Record of Achievement. Look at it. 398 00:15:47.740 --> 00:15:48.379 I haven't got that book. 399 00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:51.360 Well, you haven't got a trial back. Or maybe it's 400 00:15:51.399 --> 00:15:52.200 all on an app now. 401 00:15:52.340 --> 00:15:54.840 I've got like a bigger book that's like an A4 402 00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:56.120 book that we've got to hold on to. 403 00:15:56.139 --> 00:15:57.179 Right, maybe that's it then. 404 00:15:57.230 --> 00:15:58.210 Maybe it's that, yeah. 405 00:15:58.330 --> 00:16:00.570 And we were petrified because we kept on forgetting it. 406 00:16:01.070 --> 00:16:02.690 I thought about putting it, you know, like one of 407 00:16:02.710 --> 00:16:04.370 those things that you put on your keys to make 408 00:16:04.389 --> 00:16:06.450 sure you don't forget your keys, where it like bleeps 409 00:16:06.509 --> 00:16:07.850 and you can put on your phone. I really want 410 00:16:07.870 --> 00:16:09.190 to put one of those on it because I'm just 411 00:16:09.210 --> 00:16:09.909 petrified we're going to lose it. 412 00:16:09.909 --> 00:16:12.669 See, that's the thing is I think you're going to 413 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:15.120 be a great dad whatever because you're a brilliant person, but... 414 00:16:15.340 --> 00:16:18.179 you're very much a details person that gets a bit 415 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:21.039 obsessed with stuff. So have you found that you've become 416 00:16:21.059 --> 00:16:23.720 a bit obsessed with like learning how to be a 417 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:26.460 dad or knowing what to expect and like read everything? 418 00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:28.320 Are you finding that a bit overwhelming or are you 419 00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:30.320 quite enjoying it? Because you are a man that taught 420 00:16:30.340 --> 00:16:31.139 himself nunchucks. 421 00:16:31.620 --> 00:16:35.039 Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yesterday I taught myself how to surf 422 00:16:35.539 --> 00:16:38.590 just because I thought I would. I'd never surfed before. 423 00:16:38.950 --> 00:16:40.120 Yeah, yesterday. Where are you? 424 00:16:40.629 --> 00:16:42.470 I went down to this place in Bristol that has 425 00:16:42.490 --> 00:16:43.509 like fake waves. 426 00:16:44.230 --> 00:16:47.269 Oh, wow. And it was mad. 427 00:16:47.330 --> 00:16:51.570 And I looked around in this class. Everyone else was 12. 428 00:16:51.730 --> 00:16:54.840 It's summer holidays. Unbelievable. 429 00:16:55.259 --> 00:16:58.299 But yeah, so I'm hoping that sort of skill will 430 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:02.259 help me with the birth. But I like, like you say, 431 00:17:02.299 --> 00:17:06.099 details and all this stuff. I'm trying my best. but 432 00:17:06.119 --> 00:17:07.839 the problem is there's all these books you read, all 433 00:17:07.859 --> 00:17:11.539 these videos you do. There's just so much

information. And 434 00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:12.920 then it could all just go out the window and what's, 435 00:17:13.180 --> 00:17:15.460 you know, it's like one little thing happens and it 436 00:17:15.500 --> 00:17:16.380 just doesn't go. 437 00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:18.000 The way you think it's going to. 438 00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:19.460 And it goes down a different route or whatever. 439 00:17:19.789 --> 00:17:22.170 The baby hasn't read the book, Joel. That's what people say. 440 00:17:22.190 --> 00:17:23.589 The baby hasn't read the book. 441 00:17:24.130 --> 00:17:27.269 I love that phrase. I love that phrase. 442 00:17:27.670 --> 00:17:29.170 I think you've got to go over your gut a 443 00:17:29.190 --> 00:17:31.490 bit more than the books. I didn't read any books 444 00:17:31.549 --> 00:17:34.509 and mine are all right. That's the story of Rob's career. 445 00:17:38.210 --> 00:17:42.289 I think that I don't mind reading because then I'm like, 446 00:17:42.349 --> 00:17:43.910 I get better at reading. And if I get better, 447 00:17:44.069 --> 00:17:45.289 literally reading is my job. 448 00:17:45.829 --> 00:17:48.750 So you put a positive spin on everything. I think 449 00:17:48.769 --> 00:17:50.670 you're one of the most mentally sound people. I'm one 450 00:17:50.690 --> 00:17:53.230 of the nicest people, not just I've met in comedy, 451 00:17:53.250 --> 00:17:56.589 but in life. Cause really your success in your face, 452 00:17:56.710 --> 00:17:59.529 you should be an absolute asshole, but you're so kind 453 00:17:59.730 --> 00:18:03.269 and generous and a good person. So it's going to 454 00:18:03.289 --> 00:18:05.380 be interesting to see if being a parent will break 455 00:18:05.410 --> 00:18:08.160 that because you can put a positive spin on most things. 456 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:09.859 How are you with tiredness? 457 00:18:10.440 --> 00:18:13.599 I'm scared about it, to be honest. I am scared 458 00:18:13.619 --> 00:18:17.569 about it because I love sleep. Like I really love 459 00:18:17.670 --> 00:18:20.750 it because I'm really aware about recovery and what sort 460 00:18:20.789 --> 00:18:23.190 of sleep does to you. And I literally read it. 461 00:18:23.230 --> 00:18:25.329 This is the worst book to read. I read this 462 00:18:25.369 --> 00:18:28.650 book about sleep. which basically the whole book, it just 463 00:18:28.710 --> 00:18:30.970 tells you that like, you need to have at least 464 00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:33.890 sort of seven hours. Definitely you should be having eight. 465 00:18:34.029 --> 00:18:36.569 Otherwise you just fall apart and die. That's basically what 466 00:18:36.589 --> 00:18:36.970 the book says. 467 00:18:37.009 --> 00:18:37.910 It's true as well. 468 00:18:38.529 --> 00:18:40.670 And so I'm so, I'm genuinely scared. I've got things 469 00:18:40.710 --> 00:18:43.980 that I've bought in my life to maybe have a 470 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:46.099 better night's sleep. I've got an ice bath. I do 471 00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:48.359 an ice bath. And then, so that makes me sleep better. 472 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:52.799 I bought this mattress. This was last year, like a 473 00:18:52.859 --> 00:18:58.069 mattress that has, it cools you. The mattress reads what 474 00:18:58.150 --> 00:19:00.210 heat you are in your body. It has like sensors 475 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:03.220 on it. And then it changes the heat of the mattress. 476 00:19:03.819 --> 00:19:07.059 mattress depending on my god what what what heat you 477 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:09.359 are and so it cools you down because you're supposed 478 00:19:09.380 --> 00:19:10.880 to be cool when you sleep you're supposed to be 479 00:19:10.900 --> 00:19:14.450 like really cool and that costs so i cannot tell 480 00:19:14.470 --> 00:19:16.150 you how much right i'm gonna tell you how much 481 00:19:16.190 --> 00:19:19.650 money it was yeah can we believe it out right 482 00:19:19.690 --> 00:19:22.230 very much mattress cover so it's just a cover it's 483 00:19:22.269 --> 00:19:25.200 not the mattress mattress cover that's next and then next 484 00:19:25.220 --> 00:19:27.500 to the bed it has this like thing like that 485 00:19:27.539 --> 00:19:31.069 powers it Fucking yeah. 486 00:19:31.609 --> 00:19:33.569 But you can't put a price on sleep, Joel. 487 00:19:34.029 --> 00:19:36.789 No. This was the problem. I got it. I was like, 488 00:19:36.829 --> 00:19:38.289 said to Hannah, I was like, this is a thing 489 00:19:38.349 --> 00:19:40.650 I need and the sleep is going to improve. I 490 00:19:40.690 --> 00:19:42.990 can't wait. My recovery is going to be amazing. We're 491 00:19:43.009 --> 00:19:45.789 going to love it. Got it. Spend the money. And 492 00:19:45.829 --> 00:19:48.049 then it was too loud. And so it's in the loft. 493 00:19:48.250 --> 00:19:58.039 LAUGHTER you know what those pre-baby purchases where you've got 494 00:19:58.279 --> 00:20:00.160 extra money knocking about because you don't have to waste 495 00:20:00.200 --> 00:20:02.289 it on kids shoes and stuff like that some of 496 00:20:02.309 --> 00:20:04.430 the stuff people buy is wild but so that's in 497 00:20:04.450 --> 00:20:05.769 the loft now is it that is. 498 00:20:05.730 --> 00:20:09.819 In the loft now And so, yeah, I'm enjoying all 499 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:12.519 the babies. I'm enjoying buying all the baby stuff. 500 00:20:12.759 --> 00:20:14.599 So how much sleep are you getting at the moment then, Joel? 501 00:20:14.940 --> 00:20:17.009 Tell me through your bedtime routine. Tell me through your 502 00:20:17.069 --> 00:20:19.789 nightly routine. And then what we'll do is we'll ask 503 00:20:19.809 --> 00:20:22.250 you about your nightly routine when the baby's a bit older. 504 00:20:22.269 --> 00:20:23.690 We won't get you back straight away. Maybe give it 505 00:20:23.730 --> 00:20:25.349 a year or two. Why don't you get you properly 506 00:20:25.390 --> 00:20:25.809 into it? 507 00:20:26.190 --> 00:20:27.910 Okay.

So right now. 508 00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:33.400 I, uh, I really like, I really like doing, uh, 509 00:20:33.460 --> 00:20:35.359 I do, I do a sauna in the morning and 510 00:20:35.400 --> 00:20:38.000 then in the evening I like doing an ice bath. 511 00:20:38.339 --> 00:20:38.500 Yeah. 512 00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:40.029 I know it's weird. Most people do in the morning, 513 00:20:40.049 --> 00:20:42.119 but it really cools me down. Cause I get really hot. 514 00:20:42.180 --> 00:20:43.769 I wouldn't say most people have an ice bath in 515 00:20:43.789 --> 00:20:45.390 the morning. Sorry. 516 00:20:46.049 --> 00:20:49.410 Sorry. Both psychopaths. So what time's your ice bath? We 517 00:20:49.430 --> 00:20:51.809 don't actually go to bed that late. Like unless I've 518 00:20:51.829 --> 00:20:55.150 got like a gig or something. Um, so we're trying 519 00:20:55.190 --> 00:20:57.640 to like not, Watch TV until, like, midnight. Do you 520 00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:00.240 know what I mean? Just go to bed early. Especially 521 00:21:00.279 --> 00:21:03.079 when she's pregnant right now. She gets tired. So we 522 00:21:03.099 --> 00:21:04.779 go to bed about 10. Yep. 523 00:21:05.079 --> 00:21:05.279 Yep. 524 00:21:05.779 --> 00:21:09.289 And then I probably fall asleep about midnight by the 525 00:21:09.309 --> 00:21:13.670 time I've read to her for absolutely ages. Which I'm 526 00:21:13.690 --> 00:21:16.309 going to be good at when the child arrives. Yeah. Yeah. 527 00:21:16.329 --> 00:21:19.369 You know? I'm looking forward to do an autocue practice 528 00:21:19.410 --> 00:21:20.069 on the Gruffalo. 529 00:21:20.730 --> 00:21:21.470 Yeah. 530 00:21:22.150 --> 00:21:25.200 Because you can really sell those books as well. There's more... 531 00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:27.940 fun to be had reading the Gruffalo than there is 532 00:21:27.960 --> 00:21:28.599 to be reading. 533 00:21:28.740 --> 00:21:31.829 Donaldson knows the way around a rhyme. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 534 00:21:31.869 --> 00:21:34.069 You can really throw yourself into it. She don't miss 535 00:21:34.089 --> 00:21:34.329 it out. 536 00:21:34.710 --> 00:21:39.130 Really mass singer it, do you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. 537 00:21:39.190 --> 00:21:42.190 Like, I'm the Gruffalo! And what time are you waking up, Joel? 538 00:21:42.670 --> 00:21:49.349 About 8.30, maybe 9. Honestly, some days. Before the pregnancy, 539 00:21:49.809 --> 00:21:52.450 some days, I mean, I was definitely getting eight. 540 00:21:52.650 --> 00:21:54.380 I used to go up at 10am, really. That was 541 00:21:54.410 --> 00:21:57.819 my sort of... I'll wake up about nine-ish and just 542 00:21:57.970 --> 00:21:58.869 chill till 10. 543 00:21:58.859 --> 00:21:59.789 Look at my phone, work up. 544 00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:02.720 Because normally we work a bit later on because it's evenings. 545 00:22:03.619 --> 00:22:04.559 Yeah. 546 00:22:04.660 --> 00:22:05.579 Sometimes I just get 10 hours sleep. 547 00:22:05.579 --> 00:22:08.759 10 hours sleep. Do you know what I mean? And 548 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:09.539 just enjoy that. 549 00:22:09.640 --> 00:22:11.849 The key is being cold in bed, isn't it? We're 550 00:22:11.869 --> 00:22:13.710 talking about a comfy thing, but the colder you are, 551 00:22:13.730 --> 00:22:16.390 the easier it is to sleep. Hotel rooms, air con, 552 00:22:16.430 --> 00:22:19.490 lowest as it goes. I sleep like a fucking, what's 553 00:22:19.509 --> 00:22:22.259 something that sleeps good? I still wake up at 6am 554 00:22:22.299 --> 00:22:23.259 in a hotel now, though. 555 00:22:23.359 --> 00:22:24.200 I'm pre-programmed. 556 00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:24.640 That's it. 557 00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:27.039 No, not me. 558 00:22:27.059 --> 00:22:27.859 No. No, Joel. 559 00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:30.299 Just you wait, Joel. Just you wait. This is what 560 00:22:30.339 --> 00:22:30.799 I'm scared. 561 00:22:30.839 --> 00:22:33.059 I'm scared. I'm scared of the sleep. I really am 562 00:22:33.079 --> 00:22:35.640 scared of the sleep. But I think I'm going to get, 563 00:22:36.119 --> 00:22:38.750 you know, classic me. I'm going to figure out a 564 00:22:38.750 --> 00:22:40.220 way of putting a positive spin on it. 565 00:22:40.430 --> 00:22:40.609 Yeah. 566 00:22:41.089 --> 00:22:43.089 Do you two argue when you're like. 567 00:22:44.369 --> 00:22:47.170 Have you seen the podcast? No, I just mean, do 568 00:22:47.210 --> 00:22:49.230 you argue? Hannah's eyes in one of those. I can't 569 00:22:49.269 --> 00:22:51.880 remember what you were arguing about. The anger in her 570 00:22:51.970 --> 00:22:54.119 eyes towards you. It was literally like, oh my God, 571 00:22:54.140 --> 00:22:55.539 I think Hannah and Lou are the same person. The 572 00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:57.980 way Hannah was looking at Joel. I can't remember what 573 00:22:58.000 --> 00:22:58.579 clip it was. 574 00:22:59.019 --> 00:23:01.240 It was this one where, it was the one where literally, 575 00:23:01.259 --> 00:23:03.099 I think, didn't you text me, Rob, and go like, 576 00:23:03.160 --> 00:23:05.029 is Hannah pregnant? Because I think that. 577 00:23:05.049 --> 00:23:05.309 Yes. 578 00:23:05.740 --> 00:23:08.230 So before Hannah was pregnant, you two were having a 579 00:23:08.549 --> 00:23:10.630 little argument about something and her eyes changed and she 580 00:23:10.670 --> 00:23:12.980 told you off about something. And she had the exact 581 00:23:13.019 --> 00:23:14.519 same look in her eye that Lou did when she 582 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:16.440 was pregnant. And the hormones were all over the place. 583 00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:18.059 So they actually hate you with their eyes. 584 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:20.160 That's amazing. You should become a doctor. 585 00:23:20.440 --> 00:23:23.019 I went, Hannah's pregnant. You don't have to say yes 586 00:23:23.079 --> 00:23:24.920 or no. Because I know it's not nice when it's 587 00:23:24.940 --> 00:23:26.960 early days. But I called it

early doors. 588 00:23:27.809 --> 00:23:29.589 You really did. You knew before I did. 589 00:23:31.190 --> 00:23:33.750 And if it comes out with blonde hair and massive teeth, 590 00:23:34.049 --> 00:23:36.769 then you know why Rob knew that Hannah was pregnant. 591 00:23:37.859 --> 00:23:40.480 Rob did want to ask something. They should discuss this 592 00:23:40.519 --> 00:23:41.720 in the pre chat. 593 00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:44.299 I wanted to know what your current sort of fitness 594 00:23:44.339 --> 00:23:46.480 schedule is. Cause you look unbelievable at the moment. I 595 00:23:46.500 --> 00:23:48.259 think being away filming for six weeks, you were sort 596 00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:50.720 of really focusing on that and you look unbelievable, almost 597 00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.160 like an athlete sort of approach to fitness that you have. 598 00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:55.839 You've got your own gym and stuff like that. What's 599 00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:59.069 your routine now. And then once you've had the baby, 600 00:23:59.089 --> 00:24:00.309 we're going to try and find out what you're up 601 00:24:00.349 --> 00:24:03.569 to when the baby comes, because obviously it takes time 602 00:24:04.230 --> 00:24:05.950 and effort, but what are you, what are you doing 603 00:24:05.970 --> 00:24:06.349 at the moment? 604 00:24:07.349 --> 00:24:11.910 At the moment, I'm trying to get it down because 605 00:24:11.930 --> 00:24:13.690 I'm aware that I'm not going to have this much time. 606 00:24:13.710 --> 00:24:17.230 But at the moment, I'm doing an hour and a 607 00:24:17.289 --> 00:24:18.009 half a day. 608 00:24:19.119 --> 00:24:19.650 Every day? 609 00:24:20.059 --> 00:24:20.519 Every day. 610 00:24:20.539 --> 00:24:21.720 In your house? 611 00:24:22.460 --> 00:24:23.000 In my house. 612 00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:28.940 If I go out to the gym, it'll probably take two. Also, again, 613 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:30.720 to help sleep, I put a sauna in. 614 00:24:30.740 --> 00:24:33.180 How long are you in the sauna for? 615 00:24:33.720 --> 00:24:35.819 It's because there's a good 35, 40 mins. 616 00:24:35.859 --> 00:24:37.589 And that's not included in the hour and a half 617 00:24:37.609 --> 00:24:37.839 working out? 618 00:24:37.849 --> 00:24:39.430 And that's not included in the hour and a half. 619 00:24:39.549 --> 00:24:40.109 Okay. 620 00:24:40.230 --> 00:24:42.829 And then the ice bath, that's an extra 15 mins. 621 00:24:42.869 --> 00:24:44.369 You're not in there for 15, are you? 622 00:24:45.029 --> 00:24:47.140 It's like, you know, just including getting in and getting 623 00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:49.200 out time. Yeah, of course. And just psyching yourself up. Yeah, yeah. 624 00:24:49.859 --> 00:24:52.079 Psyching yourself up. 625 00:24:52.500 --> 00:24:54.079 That's about seven and a half, eight minutes each side 626 00:24:54.099 --> 00:24:58.799 of it. Yeah. How long are you in there, Joel? 627 00:24:58.839 --> 00:25:02.259 Because I tried to do

the Wim Hof cold shower 628 00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:04.460 thing at the end of a shower, and I can 629 00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:06.150 do a maximum of 10 seconds. 630 00:25:07.369 --> 00:25:10.490 You've just got to build yourself up. It's honestly life-changing. 631 00:25:10.529 --> 00:25:10.690 Is it? 632 00:25:10.930 --> 00:25:13.690 And I know everyone goes on about it and all 633 00:25:13.750 --> 00:25:16.230 that stuff, but it really wakes you up. If you 634 00:25:16.250 --> 00:25:18.730 start doing it in the morning, I then don't have 635 00:25:18.789 --> 00:25:21.079 coffee because you don't need it. 636 00:25:21.130 --> 00:25:22.980 And how long do you do? 637 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:27.559 It depends how cold it is, but the colder it is, 638 00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:30.359 the less time you have to do. So if you're 639 00:25:30.380 --> 00:25:33.900 doing it when it's like six degrees or something like that, 640 00:25:34.539 --> 00:25:36.579 then you only need to stay in for like five minutes. 641 00:25:36.839 --> 00:25:37.680 Five minutes? 642 00:25:37.809 --> 00:25:40.549 Four minutes, you know? It's like really like not long 643 00:25:40.589 --> 00:25:42.769 at all. And that's why I like it. And that's 644 00:25:42.789 --> 00:25:45.390 why I'm thinking I'm going to continue that. Yeah. 645 00:25:45.609 --> 00:25:47.400 Have you got space for the storage of all the 646 00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:48.000 baby stuff? 647 00:25:48.750 --> 00:25:49.329 It's, well. 648 00:25:49.349 --> 00:25:51.079 Because your garage is the gym, isn't it? 649 00:25:51.250 --> 00:25:54.359 I don't know whether it says anything, but I, my 650 00:25:54.390 --> 00:25:58.700 laptop is currently on top of a car seat box. 651 00:25:59.259 --> 00:26:00.339 So no. 652 00:26:00.359 --> 00:26:02.640 So you're working off the box with the car seat in. 653 00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:03.740 Have you got a pram? 654 00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:06.740 I have got a pram. I really enjoyed the logistics 655 00:26:06.779 --> 00:26:07.480 of the pram scenario. 656 00:26:07.500 --> 00:26:07.769 I bet you did. 657 00:26:07.779 --> 00:26:09.210 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, just finding out. 658 00:26:09.220 --> 00:26:10.299 What have you gone for? 659 00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:12.740 We've gone for a Nuna. Ooh. 660 00:26:13.319 --> 00:26:13.859 Nuna? 661 00:26:14.299 --> 00:26:14.960 I don't know. 662 00:26:15.059 --> 00:26:16.420 Not too late to send that back, Joel. 663 00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:16.849 Yeah. 664 00:26:17.710 --> 00:26:18.109 It's great. 665 00:26:18.150 --> 00:26:22.809 It feels good. Again, you don't know, do you? No. 666 00:26:22.849 --> 00:26:25.809 It's so true. It feels good. Definitely could get a 667 00:26:25.809 --> 00:26:26.269 baby in it. 668 00:26:26.910 --> 00:26:29.029 Yeah, you just sort of wheel it around and you're like, yeah, 669 00:26:29.049 --> 00:26:30.079 I suppose that works. 670 00:26:30.190 --> 00:26:31.160 A doona or a noona? 671 00:26:31.180 --> 00:26:31.559 A noona. 672 00:26:31.900 --> 00:26:34.599 N-U-N-A. Car seat goes in and it's got the car 673 00:26:34.619 --> 00:26:37.819 seat with the bit and it twists around so they 674 00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:38.440 face you. 675 00:26:38.539 --> 00:26:39.900 Oh, yeah, yeah, this is good. 676 00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:43.640 I didn't even know that was a fucking thing. I 677 00:26:43.660 --> 00:26:46.720 got so excited in the shop. And then I love 678 00:26:46.740 --> 00:26:48.660 all the things that like, oh, you've got to get that. 679 00:26:48.859 --> 00:26:50.700 And you've got to get these brackets that fit on that. 680 00:26:50.900 --> 00:26:52.900 And the bracket that goes on that. And it just. 681 00:26:53.220 --> 00:26:55.420 It's exciting, isn't it? It's so exciting. 682 00:26:55.480 --> 00:26:57.480 It feels like the closest I'm ever going to be 683 00:26:57.529 --> 00:26:58.200 to a mechanic. 684 00:27:02.450 --> 00:27:05.109 And so to go back on it, what are you 685 00:27:05.190 --> 00:27:08.170 planning exercise wise once you have the baby? 686 00:27:08.930 --> 00:27:11.609 Yeah, I'm planning on, I'm trying, going to try and 687 00:27:11.650 --> 00:27:15.589 take it down a bit. Like how realistic is it 688 00:27:16.190 --> 00:27:20.059 that I could do 40 minutes a day? 689 00:27:20.700 --> 00:27:22.039 Easy. Yeah, that's realistic. 690 00:27:22.059 --> 00:27:22.640 I think that's fine. 691 00:27:22.839 --> 00:27:25.289 The truth is a lot of, I think you'll be 692 00:27:25.309 --> 00:27:28.109 absolutely fine because you're already into that routine and you 693 00:27:28.150 --> 00:27:30.549 love it and you enjoy the process of it and 694 00:27:30.569 --> 00:27:32.150 you'll just have to lower it down and then build 695 00:27:32.190 --> 00:27:34.609 it back up. But yeah, especially if you've got that 696 00:27:34.650 --> 00:27:36.230 gym in your house, I think you'll be fine to 697 00:27:36.250 --> 00:27:39.150 do that. What I would say is when they're little, little, 698 00:27:39.289 --> 00:27:42.009 you can put them in a little holster thing or 699 00:27:42.109 --> 00:27:44.490 in a pram with decent wheels. You can walk for 700 00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:46.440 miles with them and they love that or go for 701 00:27:46.460 --> 00:27:48.180 a run or a jog if you get the right 702 00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:50.259 pram and stuff like that. It's something you can do. 703 00:27:50.539 --> 00:27:53.319 If Rob, a walk doesn't make a chest like this. 704 00:27:58.400 --> 00:27:59.380 Don't I know, baby. 705 00:28:02.660 --> 00:28:06.509 Can you do this? Can you put them in a chair, bassinet, whatever, 706 00:28:06.849 --> 00:28:09.190 and just make them watch you? No. 707 00:28:09.710 --> 00:28:10.509 They'll get bored. 708 00:28:10.549 --> 00:28:14.049 Well, they might. For a bit, but you might be 709 00:28:14.089 --> 00:28:15.990 able to... But there'll be naps. What's going to happen? 710 00:28:16.069 --> 00:28:18.789 Not when he's fucking clean and jerking in

the garage. What? 711 00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:25.140 Keep it down, Joel. I've got the NTAs in a week. 712 00:28:25.180 --> 00:28:30.490 Cloak of metal. 713 00:28:30.890 --> 00:28:32.230 What you're going to need to do, Joel, is you're 714 00:28:32.250 --> 00:28:35.670 going to need to decide, I think, between your baby 715 00:28:35.829 --> 00:28:39.029 early on is going to nap and that's going to 716 00:28:39.049 --> 00:28:41.690 be your little break and your choice is going to be, 717 00:28:41.809 --> 00:28:44.079 do I nap as well or do I work out? 718 00:28:44.660 --> 00:28:46.799 Or do your actual job and do all your emails 719 00:28:47.180 --> 00:28:50.720 and your tax and you're writing new jokes and... Getting 720 00:28:50.740 --> 00:28:52.759 in a car, going to do what you do. 721 00:28:52.859 --> 00:28:56.579 Have you got anything booked in work-wise after the birth? 722 00:28:57.000 --> 00:28:57.519 Not great. 723 00:28:57.539 --> 00:28:58.339 It's actually not too bad. 724 00:28:58.380 --> 00:29:00.119 That will be a blessed relief, Joel. 725 00:29:00.200 --> 00:29:00.759 Oh, really? 726 00:29:01.140 --> 00:29:03.539 Yeah, because you'll be able to sleep in the car. 727 00:29:04.039 --> 00:29:06.869 This is the advantage of our job. But you will 728 00:29:06.900 --> 00:29:09.329 be that sleep. Say you're getting picked up and it's 729 00:29:09.349 --> 00:29:11.730 an hour drive into town to go to work. Hannah 730 00:29:11.750 --> 00:29:14.069 will treat that, and quite rightly, like you've been on 731 00:29:14.109 --> 00:29:17.630 a mini break. So when me and Lou would argue 732 00:29:17.670 --> 00:29:19.109 over sleep, she went, yeah, but you get to go 733 00:29:19.150 --> 00:29:21.109 in the car. And I'm like, I don't think being 734 00:29:21.150 --> 00:29:24.890 driven for an hour to Twickenham at 6am should be 735 00:29:24.950 --> 00:29:26.400 counted in my sleep. 736 00:29:27.019 --> 00:29:27.259 Yeah. 737 00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:29.160 Because it's not a guaranteed out. Even if I get 738 00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:30.900 20 minutes out of that, it's like, it's not on 739 00:29:30.940 --> 00:29:33.400 the motorway. It's windy roads. You're getting knocked about. 740 00:29:33.700 --> 00:29:37.730 Yeah. On this podcast, I've learned a lot from listening 741 00:29:37.750 --> 00:29:41.069 to you both because like, me and Hannah were saying, 742 00:29:41.130 --> 00:29:44.130 it's like, Rob, I feel like you're quite good at 743 00:29:44.210 --> 00:29:46.349 like the sort of level of support that you give 744 00:29:46.849 --> 00:29:49.130 your partner in a way. Like when you go away, 745 00:29:49.150 --> 00:29:52.109 when you're away on tour, you then come back and 746 00:29:52.130 --> 00:29:54.750 then you allow her to go away and you're like 747 00:29:54.890 --> 00:29:55.630 that time that. 748 00:29:55.569 --> 00:29:57.829 She could be- Yeah, not allow her, that's actually what 749 00:29:57.890 --> 00:29:58.210 I meant. 750 00:29:58.230 -->

00:29:59.509 Not allow her, that's fine. 751 00:29:59.569 --> 00:30:02.359 But we arrange time for, we separate a bit more. 752 00:30:02.730 --> 00:30:04.940 But we've got, that's easier now that mine are a 753 00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:08.200 bit older. I feel like there's a where is Josh, you. 754 00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:11.039 Where is Josh? I've learned from you not to live 755 00:30:11.059 --> 00:30:11.660 in East London. 756 00:30:12.039 --> 00:30:19.880 LAUGHTER Well, Josh's youngest is still quite young, so it's 757 00:30:19.890 --> 00:30:21.339 a bit tricky to do that, but especially when they 758 00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:25.000 get older. But we found rather than, I think, to 759 00:30:25.019 --> 00:30:27.160 be fair, I think Joshua says himself, you and Rose, 760 00:30:27.220 --> 00:30:29.440 especially in lockdown, sort of did it all together, which 761 00:30:29.500 --> 00:30:30.869 works for some people. But for me and Luke, it 762 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:33.150 was very much, you get on with it and then 763 00:30:33.190 --> 00:30:35.309 I'll sleep, then I'll get on with it and then 764 00:30:35.349 --> 00:30:39.329 you sleep. But it all depends on the individuals and 765 00:30:39.349 --> 00:30:40.569 the couples and how it all works. 766 00:30:40.630 --> 00:30:41.710 I'm ridden with guilt. 767 00:30:42.279 --> 00:30:46.220 I'm full of guilt. So, at night time. So if 768 00:30:46.279 --> 00:30:47.759 Rose was up, you'd just feel like you'd have to 769 00:30:47.779 --> 00:30:49.200 be up watching her and helping her, but. 770 00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:52.500 Yeah, just staring into the distance, resenting her. 771 00:30:52.819 --> 00:30:53.859 You should try reading to her. 772 00:30:54.579 --> 00:31:01.059 I should try reading to her. With his voice. But 773 00:31:01.099 --> 00:31:03.940 I think you'll both find your way through it and 774 00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:06.339 it's all different for all different sorts of people. So 775 00:31:06.759 --> 00:31:08.140 if it's working for both of you, just sort of 776 00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:09.539 stick with that. But it is a bit more a 777 00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:10.359 trial and error. 778 00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:16.529 Honestly, I think... I think you underestimate probably how brilliant 779 00:31:16.569 --> 00:31:17.329 this podcast is. 780 00:31:17.349 --> 00:31:19.869 No, I don't think we do. No, I don't think 781 00:31:19.910 --> 00:31:24.519 it gets enough credit. 782 00:31:24.619 --> 00:31:28.640 Livid. I just think it's great. And I think it 783 00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:31.859 gives people, I mean, it's certainly given me something to 784 00:31:31.900 --> 00:31:34.720 listen to that I feel like I kind of, I'm 785 00:31:34.779 --> 00:31:38.099 learning stuff without it being too learny. And I feel 786 00:31:38.119 --> 00:31:42.130 like it's real life learning almost. Like it's just, sometimes 787 00:31:42.150 --> 00:31:44.369 all of the stats and the statistics and you've got 788 00:31:44.390 --> 00:31:45.509 to do this and you've got to do that and 789 00:31:45.529 --> 00:31:46.589 you've got to, and you're like, you're never going to 790 00:31:46.609 --> 00:31:47.910 remember it. But like. 791 00:31:48.109 --> 00:31:48.670 Data. 792 00:31:48.970 --> 00:31:50.269 Imagine having data on children. 793 00:31:50.990 --> 00:31:54.019 Unbelievable. But like, I like, I just, I think you, 794 00:31:54.160 --> 00:31:55.519 I just think this podcast is great. This is a 795 00:31:55.539 --> 00:31:57.099 dream for me to be on this podcast. Well, we're 796 00:31:57.119 --> 00:31:58.559 very happy to have you on job. 797 00:31:58.579 --> 00:32:01.180 When you say about data, when I was reading the 798 00:32:01.220 --> 00:32:03.190 books beforehand, Did I say that? 799 00:32:03.269 --> 00:32:03.789 I almost. 800 00:32:03.809 --> 00:32:06.569 Oh, did I do it? I can't even remember. I 801 00:32:06.609 --> 00:32:09.329 had plans to distill it down into a fact sheet 802 00:32:09.410 --> 00:32:12.609 that was easy for me to reference once the baby 803 00:32:12.670 --> 00:32:13.210 was born. 804 00:32:13.309 --> 00:32:18.400 Really? Have you got that still now? I don't know 805 00:32:18.460 --> 00:32:19.150 if I did it. 806 00:32:19.619 --> 00:32:21.599 You know when you're like, I either did it on 807 00:32:21.619 --> 00:32:23.519 a computer and it never saw the light of day 808 00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:25.039 or I just thought about it. Do you know when 809 00:32:25.059 --> 00:32:27.920 it's like, there was no point when at 3am I 810 00:32:27.940 --> 00:32:30.069 was like, let's just check the fact sheet. It needs 811 00:32:30.309 --> 00:32:31.170 one ounce of milk. 812 00:32:31.190 --> 00:32:35.349 LAUGHTER It's so funny when you say the word fact 813 00:32:35.420 --> 00:32:38.329 sheet and like date, when you say the word data, 814 00:32:39.049 --> 00:32:42.529 it sounds, it just makes so much more sense than 815 00:32:42.630 --> 00:32:49.930 you doing comedy. Have you been to NCT? 816 00:32:50.230 --> 00:32:51.019 No, no. 817 00:32:51.059 --> 00:32:55.119 We've done sort of like an online course a bit, 818 00:32:55.619 --> 00:32:59.880 but I don't, I'm not a very sociable person really. 819 00:33:00.460 --> 00:33:01.980 And so I don't know, did you do it? 820 00:33:02.539 --> 00:33:04.359 Yeah, but we did it in a weekend, so it 821 00:33:04.420 --> 00:33:07.640 wasn't that social. We almost just blasted it out, if 822 00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:08.299 you know what I mean. 823 00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:08.940 Right. 824 00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.660 And the people that get long-term friends are the ones 825 00:33:11.700 --> 00:33:15.279 that do, like, every Tuesday night for two months kind 826 00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:16.339 of thing. Do you know what I mean? 827 00:33:16.420 --> 00:33:18.940 We did every Saturday for, like, three or four weeks, 828 00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:20.880 and it was good because it was our WhatsApp group, 829 00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:23.140

and it was good to have a support group where 830 00:33:23.220 --> 00:33:25.680 you know you could message someone and they're going through 831 00:33:25.720 --> 00:33:28.940 exactly the same kind of thing, where you message your 832 00:33:28.960 --> 00:33:31.369 mates who've got a fiver on and go, oh, because 833 00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:33.450 it's so weird. Something will be so important to you 834 00:33:33.470 --> 00:33:37.690 at the time. It's like teething or colic. The word colic, 835 00:33:37.730 --> 00:33:40.509 I've not thought about for five years. But at the time, 836 00:33:40.549 --> 00:33:42.109 it will dominate your entire life. And you'll be like, yeah, 837 00:33:42.130 --> 00:33:44.750 because of the colic, obviously. You know what colic's like. 838 00:33:45.250 --> 00:33:46.630 And at the time, it feels like the most important 839 00:33:46.650 --> 00:33:48.190 thing in the world because it is. Because it's the 840 00:33:48.230 --> 00:33:51.029 thing that your little precious baby's going through. But you'll 841 00:33:51.049 --> 00:33:52.759 text me and I'll go, no, I literally don't even 842 00:33:52.779 --> 00:33:54.319 know what it is anymore, Joel, and I'll have to, like, 843 00:33:54.359 --> 00:33:56.460 Google it. But so what's good about the NCT is 844 00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:58.740 there's someone near your house that's going through the same 845 00:33:58.759 --> 00:33:59.559 thing that you can go, do you want to get 846 00:33:59.579 --> 00:34:00.180 a coffee tomorrow? 847 00:34:00.500 --> 00:34:00.920 Right. 848 00:34:01.440 --> 00:34:03.619 Have you got any kid friends near your house? 849 00:34:04.579 --> 00:34:06.460 As in people with kids, not children that you like. 850 00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:07.220 I say. 851 00:34:09.170 --> 00:34:10.929 They've got colic and I've just, I've called up a 852 00:34:10.929 --> 00:34:18.769 seven-year-old and we're just hanging out. This has been the 853 00:34:18.809 --> 00:34:21.969 profound thing that's happened to me, I think, because suddenly 854 00:34:21.989 --> 00:34:26.219 you're sort of having to assess who your friends are, 855 00:34:26.579 --> 00:34:30.000 where they live, you know, and it hasn't just made 856 00:34:30.039 --> 00:34:31.980 me think like, oh, have I got any friends with 857 00:34:32.039 --> 00:34:34.820 kids nearby? I just don't think I've got any friends. 858 00:34:35.340 --> 00:34:35.960 Oh, Joe. 859 00:34:36.699 --> 00:34:37.420 Oh, man. 860 00:34:37.800 --> 00:34:40.760 I'd like, it's, I'll be honest, when I said that 861 00:34:40.800 --> 00:34:42.199 out of my mouth, I thought I was going to 862 00:34:42.260 --> 00:34:46.969 elicit a laugh, but instead it just was your sympathy. 863 00:34:47.619 --> 00:34:49.550 Well, no, you're a dad now. 864 00:34:50.250 --> 00:34:50.510 Yeah. 865 00:34:50.530 --> 00:34:52.190 Because you've got no mates. Yeah. 866 00:34:53.159 --> 00:34:53.840 That's what happens. 867 00:34:54.900 --> 00:34:56.239 You've made a friend. 868 00:34:56.280 --> 00:34:57.400 Well, I think, do you know what it is? I 869 00:34:57.780 --> 00:35:00.630 felt the same as you when the baby come because 870 00:35:00.929 --> 00:35:03.610 as a comic, your own little world, you go off, 871 00:35:03.630 --> 00:35:06.210 you work alone, you travel alone, you go and do 872 00:35:06.250 --> 00:35:09.690 your own little island. And then also because your social, 873 00:35:10.570 --> 00:35:13.590 your schedule's off, you're never about Saturday, Sundays. You're like, 874 00:35:13.650 --> 00:35:15.659 you know, and I think, you know, Tuesday afternoon is 875 00:35:15.679 --> 00:35:17.340 when you and Hannah might go for dinner or meal 876 00:35:17.360 --> 00:35:19.780 or whatever. So it's like you are doing your own 877 00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:23.110 little thing. But what will happen is, you will build 878 00:35:23.190 --> 00:35:26.610 those networks and friends over time through your kids because 879 00:35:26.630 --> 00:35:28.349 you'll end up going to the same swimming lessons and 880 00:35:28.369 --> 00:35:30.789 then they start school and nursery. And then you meet 881 00:35:30.829 --> 00:35:32.010 a couple of the other dads and stuff. And then 882 00:35:32.250 --> 00:35:34.449 you end up just being friends with people that just 883 00:35:34.469 --> 00:35:37.409 live near your house. And it feels so alien, but 884 00:35:37.469 --> 00:35:37.849 it does happen. 885 00:35:37.869 --> 00:35:39.730 Hannah said she was like, oh, you just, it'll be fine. 886 00:35:39.769 --> 00:35:41.929 You'll just like meet people. I'm like, where? She's like, 887 00:35:41.969 --> 00:35:43.820 when you like, you'll meet them when you've got a 888 00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:46.239 pram in the park. I'm like, that sounds like dogging. 889 00:35:47.380 --> 00:35:52.750 LAUGHTER Well, that's what the NCT is quite good, it's 890 00:35:52.769 --> 00:35:56.050 sort of entry level. But you live over in West London, 891 00:35:56.090 --> 00:35:56.389 don't you? 892 00:35:56.409 --> 00:35:58.840 Yeah, South West London, yeah. So it's like, couldn't be 893 00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:00.000 further from both of you. 894 00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:03.139 Yeah, I know. Well, come round anyway. Come round and just, 895 00:36:03.219 --> 00:36:04.909 you know, I'll be your friend, Joel. 896 00:36:05.110 --> 00:36:05.610 I'd love that. 897 00:36:05.710 --> 00:36:06.150 It's like. 898 00:36:07.059 --> 00:36:08.800 So, like, now, like, we've got a lot of friends 899 00:36:08.820 --> 00:36:11.010 that come round that we... So, two of our good 900 00:36:11.070 --> 00:36:13.429 friends we met on holiday just because all our kids played. 901 00:36:13.449 --> 00:36:15.469 Because that's the thing. If you find ones when your kids. 902 00:36:15.489 --> 00:36:18.269 Yeah, two of our good friends are, like, their daughter's 903 00:36:18.309 --> 00:36:20.710 best friends with my daughter. And we're still... We're friends 904 00:36:20.730 --> 00:36:21.150 with

them now. 905 00:36:21.409 --> 00:36:26.050 Is that what happens? So, basically, who your kids become 906 00:36:26.110 --> 00:36:27.739 friends with, you then become friends with their. 907 00:36:27.949 --> 00:36:28.739 I prefer. 908 00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:32.219 Because I'm better... You know, I'm an adult. I've got 909 00:36:32.500 --> 00:36:34.159 better social skills than a child. 910 00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:35.320 I prefer. 911 00:36:36.030 --> 00:36:37.909 that I have to make the effort with the parent 912 00:36:38.050 --> 00:36:40.050 rather than to meet up with the parent and then 913 00:36:40.090 --> 00:36:43.219 the kids to have to make together, make the effort together. 914 00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:43.679 That would be. 915 00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:47.719 I mean, I'm happy both ways, but that is, I find, easier. Yeah, 916 00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:50.010 so we stumbled on a very lucky one. We're on holiday. 917 00:36:50.030 --> 00:36:53.449 It was in holiday and... our two kids were playing 918 00:36:53.469 --> 00:36:55.809 with these two kids in the pool. And then you 919 00:36:55.889 --> 00:36:58.190 end up chatting to the other parents literally because, oh, 920 00:36:58.210 --> 00:37:00.050 I think we've got one of your toys. Oh, what's 921 00:37:00.070 --> 00:37:02.110 your kid call? You know, because it's just, you know, 922 00:37:02.309 --> 00:37:04.739 you just will. And then they got on really well. 923 00:37:04.780 --> 00:37:06.059 Then we got on really well with them and then 924 00:37:06.420 --> 00:37:07.940 ended up going back to the same place on holiday 925 00:37:07.980 --> 00:37:10.320 with them. But that's quite rare. What you sometimes get 926 00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:13.199 is like, your kid will love their kid and their 927 00:37:13.239 --> 00:37:16.070 parents are awful. You're like, oh my God, I've got, 928 00:37:16.090 --> 00:37:17.650 or one parent will be right, but you don't like 929 00:37:17.670 --> 00:37:19.849 the other one. Or you love both parents, but the 930 00:37:19.869 --> 00:37:21.570 kid's a dick and you're sort of forcing it. But 931 00:37:21.590 --> 00:37:23.309 then your kid's like, I don't want to play with 932 00:37:23.349 --> 00:37:25.250 that kid. So you sort of let, we sort of 933 00:37:25.289 --> 00:37:27.590 led by what the kids do. But for the first 934 00:37:27.630 --> 00:37:30.760 year or two, it's basically just an ornament that needs feeding. 935 00:37:31.179 --> 00:37:34.800 So all this will come over time. But, you know, 936 00:37:34.820 --> 00:37:38.710 you can just take the baby anywhere, really, especially up 937 00:37:38.730 --> 00:37:41.389 to about six, seven, eight months before they start crawling 938 00:37:41.409 --> 00:37:43.570 and walking. And you just push them around and feed 939 00:37:43.590 --> 00:37:44.889 them and they'll sleep. 940 00:37:45.230 --> 00:37:47.369 It's absolutely mental. 941 00:37:48.030 --> 00:37:51.139 I know. 942 00:37:51.199 --> 00:37:55.159 Like, the whole thing is absolutely wild. Like, the whole 943 00:37:55.199 --> 00:38:00.699 thing is ridiculous. Like, I can't believe this. It's a thing. 944 00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:03.829 And it's going to be your life now forever. And 945 00:38:03.849 --> 00:38:05.650 you have this thing that's just going to be part 946 00:38:05.690 --> 00:38:07.690 of you. Because at the moment, you sell your house, 947 00:38:07.710 --> 00:38:10.309 you sell your car, you change your job. It doesn't 948 00:38:10.389 --> 00:38:12.530 really matter. At the time, you might feel like, oh, 949 00:38:12.570 --> 00:38:14.250 it's a bit annoying. But there's going to be this 950 00:38:14.349 --> 00:38:17.929 thing now that orbits you forever, that matters more than 951 00:38:18.010 --> 00:38:20.750 anything you've ever known. And not to be scary, but 952 00:38:20.789 --> 00:38:21.929 it's lovely to have that. 953 00:38:21.989 --> 00:38:25.409 I remember two weeks in, I was exhausted. And I 954 00:38:25.489 --> 00:38:27.719 just came back. I think I'd been doing a day 955 00:38:27.739 --> 00:38:30.219 on the last leg or something in town. Came back, 956 00:38:31.559 --> 00:38:35.929 and I was like, oh, my God, the evening begins now. Like, 957 00:38:35.989 --> 00:38:38.570 this isn't a relaxer. I remember sitting on my sofa 958 00:38:38.590 --> 00:38:41.889 with my head in my hands, and my mother-in-law said, 959 00:38:44.429 --> 00:38:47.190 the thing is, you're only ever as happy as your 960 00:38:47.230 --> 00:38:51.769 unhappiest kid. And at that point, I thought, I've made 961 00:38:51.789 --> 00:38:54.989 a mistake. This was an error. 962 00:38:55.650 --> 00:38:56.849 I can't do this. 963 00:38:57.590 --> 00:38:59.469 Did you still have the face paint on from Kermit 964 00:38:59.489 --> 00:38:59.920 the Frog? 965 00:39:01.460 --> 00:39:04.159 Yeah, it was one of those moments. Oh, wow. 966 00:39:04.199 --> 00:39:08.860 But I would say anyone that says it doesn't get easier, 967 00:39:08.880 --> 00:39:12.320 it just gets difficult in different ways is fucking bullshitting. 968 00:39:13.110 --> 00:39:16.110 It is the first year or two is the tough bit. 969 00:39:16.550 --> 00:39:16.869 Really? 970 00:39:16.889 --> 00:39:17.929 Those are really tough. 971 00:39:18.030 --> 00:39:20.800 And it gets really, like, that bit's fun and they're cute, 972 00:39:21.099 --> 00:39:23.219 but it's graft because it's constantly like, they need this, 973 00:39:23.239 --> 00:39:25.349 they need that, and they don't know anything but now 974 00:39:25.449 --> 00:39:27.170 like my kids are seven and five and even and 975 00:39:27.190 --> 00:39:29.110 this is it's been like this way since the youngest 976 00:39:29.159 --> 00:39:31.559 was about three or four it's just fun and like 977 00:39:31.579 --> 00:39:33.219 you know you say you haven't got any friends you 978 00:39:33.239 --> 00:39:34.940 don't really need friends you just go out in your 979 00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:36.500 gang and go right

kids should we go here and 980 00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:38.440 they'll love it go oh you could take them to 981 00:39:38.460 --> 00:39:40.880 the surf lessons teach them nunchucks all those fun things 982 00:39:40.900 --> 00:39:43.809 that you like doing you could incorporate into going out 983 00:39:43.829 --> 00:39:46.389 of them. And I think you'll absolutely love it and 984 00:39:46.409 --> 00:39:49.309 you'll take to it like Dr. Walter, both of you. 985 00:39:49.510 --> 00:39:50.730 I'm really excited. 986 00:39:50.769 --> 00:39:51.750 I'm really excited. 987 00:39:52.170 --> 00:39:54.530 I feel very lucky. I feel like it's come at 988 00:39:54.849 --> 00:39:57.730 a lovely time in my life and sort of my career. 989 00:39:57.789 --> 00:40:01.630 And I feel like it's a lovely point in our relationship. 990 00:40:01.690 --> 00:40:03.170 And I just feel like so. 991 00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:06.489 Lucky. You mean you didn't want this to happen when 992 00:40:06.510 --> 00:40:08.590 me and you were playing Party Piece every Tuesday night 993 00:40:08.650 --> 00:40:09.349 in Stoke Nearington? 994 00:40:09.510 --> 00:40:10.670 I'm in the Party Piece. 995 00:40:11.309 --> 00:40:13.050 It's like a little open mic gig that we all 996 00:40:13.090 --> 00:40:15.210 used to do on a Tuesday. I once went on 997 00:40:15.349 --> 00:40:18.170 stage at Party Piece and when I got off stage, 998 00:40:18.190 --> 00:40:19.210 someone had nicked my coat. 999 00:40:19.090 --> 00:40:21.309 And my bag. Oh, my God. 1000 00:40:22.570 --> 00:40:24.329 Sorry about that. It was an early part of my career. 1001 00:40:24.690 --> 00:40:28.989 It's been an absolute joy, as we expected. Genuinely, when 1002 00:40:29.030 --> 00:40:31.579 you came to the Cardiff show because you were in 1003 00:40:31.639 --> 00:40:34.679 town doing a corporate... That was, it sounds a bit, 1004 00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:37.219 but that was a real moment for me because it 1005 00:40:37.619 --> 00:40:41.489 just felt like, it felt really weird. Like we'd all done, 1006 00:40:41.969 --> 00:40:43.949 grown up and done really well and we were all 1007 00:40:43.989 --> 00:40:46.809 really enjoying ourselves. And that was, that was one of 1008 00:40:46.829 --> 00:40:49.489 the highlights of the tour for me where I felt like, 1009 00:40:49.849 --> 00:40:50.429 fucking hell. 1010 00:40:51.159 --> 00:40:53.139 We did used to do Party Peace. Well, yeah, we 1011 00:40:53.199 --> 00:40:56.380 all worked in doing shitty little gigs for no money 1012 00:40:56.429 --> 00:40:58.590 when we were all like 22, 23, and now we're 1013 00:40:58.610 --> 00:41:02.329 all grown-ups with children. It's quite odd, isn't it? 1014 00:41:02.489 --> 00:41:03.150 It's so bizarre. 1015 00:41:03.170 --> 00:41:04.829 Do you know what's sad is I still in my 1016 00:41:04.869 --> 00:41:07.070 head think of myself as like the Latin American pie, 1017 00:41:07.110 --> 00:41:08.849 but now I know that I'm the dad. 1018 00:41:11.570 --> 00:41:12.730 LAUGHTER I'm Eugene Levy. 1019 00:41:12.969 --> 00:41:20.800 I'm Eugene Levy. And Joel's Stifler's mum. LAUGHTER But Joel, 1020 00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:23.000 we'll get you on and probably Hannah as well once 1021 00:41:23.019 --> 00:41:25.309 the baby's out. Once it's there, that'd be great. 1022 00:41:25.550 --> 00:41:27.670 I'd love that. I've said it to you when I 1023 00:41:27.690 --> 00:41:29.090 came to see you live, but I'm so proud of 1024 00:41:29.110 --> 00:41:31.650 you boys. And I'm so excited you're doing so well. 1025 00:41:32.110 --> 00:41:34.780 And it's stood absolute dream. And I listen to you 1026 00:41:34.820 --> 00:41:36.699 all the time and I read your words to my 1027 00:41:36.739 --> 00:41:37.320 wife in bed. 1028 00:41:38.579 --> 00:41:41.139 Yeah, that's creepy. So that's actually got a bit creepy now. 1029 00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:44.500 The funny part was when, you know, in like some 1030 00:41:44.539 --> 00:41:46.679 points in the book, you would do like the question 1031 00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:49.670 and answer things. So like Rose and Lou would ask 1032 00:41:49.690 --> 00:41:52.030 you questions. So that was like a really hard bit 1033 00:41:52.090 --> 00:41:55.570 to read because then you've got to differentiate between the voices. 1034 00:41:55.650 --> 00:41:56.670 Were you doing the voices? 1035 00:41:56.809 --> 00:41:58.329 I then had to sort of get into it a 1036 00:41:58.409 --> 00:42:00.429 bit because then you've got to know who's speaking. 1037 00:42:00.449 --> 00:42:02.030 Oh, can we have a little blast of your voices 1038 00:42:02.070 --> 00:42:04.469 for each of us and for Lou and Rose? And 1039 00:42:04.530 --> 00:42:05.650 then you had to do my mum and dad. 1040 00:42:06.360 --> 00:42:08.570 They have to do your mum and dad at one point, 1041 00:42:08.610 --> 00:42:11.289 where I'm going like, oh, so anyway, I'm going again. 1042 00:42:11.670 --> 00:42:12.730 I'm getting into my cab. 1043 00:42:13.030 --> 00:42:14.469 Yeah, what did my dad pull some pairs? 1044 00:42:14.949 --> 00:42:17.550 He pulled back some pairs. And then, you know, it's, 1045 00:42:17.750 --> 00:42:20.280 and then I was doing Josh. He was just like, oh, 1046 00:42:20.340 --> 00:42:21.119 you know. 1047 00:42:21.159 --> 00:42:23.099 That's an easy one. That's an easy one. That's an 1048 00:42:23.119 --> 00:42:23.420 easy one. 1049 00:42:23.500 --> 00:42:26.019 Madame Tussauds. I loved all the bits in the book. 1050 00:42:26.519 --> 00:42:28.119 Everyone go and buy the book. It's a really good book. 1051 00:42:28.500 --> 00:42:29.059 But it's, um. 1052 00:42:29.079 --> 00:42:31.050 You sound like you've been on gas and air already. 1053 00:42:31.269 --> 00:42:32.050 He's loving that. 1054 00:42:32.150 --> 00:42:32.369 Yeah. 1055 00:42:35.210 --> 00:42:36.619 Have you got anything to plug, Joe? You got a 1056 00:42:36.619 --> 00:42:38.019 tour on or is it more mastering? 1057 00:42:38.039 --> 00:42:41.539 Yeah, you should

plug something. So our podcast is, we 1058 00:42:42.139 --> 00:42:44.469 do a new thing every week that we've never done 1059 00:42:44.590 --> 00:42:48.150 together before. And genuinely, we started it as a thing 1060 00:42:48.210 --> 00:42:51.010 where we kind of thought we'd possibly maybe have a 1061 00:42:51.070 --> 00:42:53.769 child at some point. And so we thought like, oh, 1062 00:42:53.840 --> 00:42:57.340 let's just do everything we can like before we have children. 1063 00:42:57.380 --> 00:42:59.420 So we know what's fun to do with the children. 1064 00:42:59.440 --> 00:43:00.059 Do you know what I mean? 1065 00:43:00.340 --> 00:43:00.599 Yeah. 1066 00:43:00.619 --> 00:43:03.139 And, um, and then, and also like other stuff, just 1067 00:43:03.159 --> 00:43:05.099 try and get everything out of the way basically. And 1068 00:43:05.159 --> 00:43:07.679 now obviously Hannah's pregnant. So there's some stuff that she 1069 00:43:07.719 --> 00:43:10.119 can't do, but we're now doing more. Like we did 1070 00:43:10.159 --> 00:43:12.119 a baby first aid thing the other day. That was 1071 00:43:12.139 --> 00:43:12.909 so great. 1072 00:43:12.989 --> 00:43:14.590 Also as well, you never like, you can do an 1073 00:43:14.610 --> 00:43:16.210 episode on breastfeeding when the baby arrives. 1074 00:43:16.329 --> 00:43:16.570 Yeah. 1075 00:43:16.809 --> 00:43:18.889 That's the first week. Yeah, exactly. 1076 00:43:18.909 --> 00:43:19.320 And everything's new. 1077 00:43:19.329 --> 00:43:20.230 And you can talk about your surfing. 1078 00:43:20.489 --> 00:43:20.710 Yeah. 1079 00:43:20.750 --> 00:43:21.489 That's an episode. 1080 00:43:21.530 --> 00:43:21.650 Yeah. 1081 00:43:23.349 --> 00:43:26.329 I tell you what, it's a weird thing, surfing. I, like, 1082 00:43:26.489 --> 00:43:29.190 kind of enjoyed it, but it also, it's kind of 1083 00:43:29.230 --> 00:43:33.289 like just queuing in the sea. You're just waiting for 1084 00:43:33.309 --> 00:43:33.809 other people. 1085 00:43:33.929 --> 00:43:35.789 Well, I've got good news for you, Joel. I've got 1086 00:43:35.829 --> 00:43:38.679 good news. You're not going surfing for another five years 1087 00:43:38.739 --> 00:43:40.590 at least. 1088 00:43:41.840 --> 00:43:43.500 Joel, thanks so much, mate. Good luck with the podcast 1089 00:43:43.539 --> 00:43:45.619 and obviously the birth and send our love to Hannah. 1090 00:43:45.840 --> 00:43:46.599 Thank you so much. 1091 00:43:46.619 --> 00:43:47.480 It's been a joy. 1092 00:43:47.500 --> 00:43:49.019 Cheers, mate. I love you both. Bye, bye, bye. 1093 00:43:51.900 --> 00:43:55.059 That was Joel Domet. Love Joel. Do you know what 1094 00:43:55.099 --> 00:43:57.579 got me, though? That hurt really deep. Because I've been 1095 00:43:57.599 --> 00:43:59.820 sort of doing a lot of walking, like I've mentioned. 1096 00:43:59.920 --> 00:44:03.639 You don't get a chest like this from walking? Yeah. 1097 00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:06.190 I feel like he's got that written on his wall. 1098 00:44:06.530 --> 00:44:08.670 When he was like, I won't have time to do 1099 00:44:08.690 --> 00:44:11.309 my exercise. And then I said, oh, you can do 1100 00:44:11.349 --> 00:44:14.449 some walking. I just realised, oh, there's levels to this. 1101 00:44:15.309 --> 00:44:19.820 And getting your 10,000 steps a day basically just maintains 1102 00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:20.519 whatever weight you are. 1103 00:44:21.099 --> 00:44:23.969 You're 10,000 steps a day, which I'm big into. 1104 00:44:24.530 --> 00:44:26.710 I'm a huge fan of Hawkins. 1105 00:44:26.769 --> 00:44:30.090 It's basically 200 cows. Yeah, it's nothing. 1106 00:44:30.269 --> 00:44:37.260 And he has got tits that are rock hard. All right, 1107 00:44:37.300 --> 00:44:38.320 I think that's enough, isn't it? Bye. 1108 00:44:38.500 --> 00:44:38.760 Bye. 1109 00:44:38.980 --> 00:44:39.219 Bye. 1110 00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:44.940 What a time to be alive. And not in a 1111 00:44:44.960 --> 00:44:45.360 good way. 1112 00:44:45.500 --> 00:44:48.840 Pringles are £ 3. 99. You have to scan a barcode to 1113 00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:50.119 see the menu at a restaurant. 1114 00:44:50.260 --> 00:44:51.960 Why are there so many parking apps? 1115 00:44:52.059 --> 00:44:53.219 Why are there so many apps? 1116 00:44:53.409 --> 00:44:55.670 Why is everyone filming everything? 1117 00:44:55.869 --> 00:44:59.230 You've now got to pay £ 5 just to drop someone 1118 00:44:59.250 --> 00:45:00.070 off at the airport. 1119 00:45:00.210 --> 00:45:01.349 Piers Morgan. 1120 00:45:01.469 --> 00:45:03.949 I drive home in a car I can't afford to run, 1121 00:45:04.300 --> 00:45:06.239 to cook food I can't afford to eat, in a 1122 00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:07.960 house I can't afford to live in. 1123 00:45:08.199 --> 00:45:10.159 I'm Sean Walsh. And I'm Paul McCaffrey. 1124 00:45:10.280 --> 00:45:12.320 And if you've been annoyed by anything that you've heard 1125 00:45:12.360 --> 00:45:14.320 in this advert, then why not listen to the brand 1126 00:45:14.340 --> 00:45:16.860 new series of our hit podcast, What's Upset You Now? 1127 00:45:17.050 --> 00:45:19.750 Here's another thing, podcasts that are three hours long. 1128 00:45:19.849 --> 00:45:20.389 Not this one. 1129 00:45:20.530 --> 00:45:23.750 No, this is two 15-minute episodes a week, one with 1130 00:45:23.789 --> 00:45:26.590 me and Paul, and one with guests like Romesh. 1131 00:45:26.369 --> 00:45:31.159 Ranganathan, Rob Beckett, Pete Docherty, Emily Atack, Josh Whittaker, and 1132 00:45:31.219 --> 00:45:32.039 Catherine Ryan. 1133 00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:34.800 So go to wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe 1134 00:45:35.260 --> 00:45:36.340 to What's Upset You Now? 1135 00:45:37.650 --> 00:45:38.650 It's me, Alan. 1136 00:45:38.829 --> 00:45:42.570 There's no place like London's Hackney Empire this September, or 1137 00:45:42.630 --> 00:45:45.530 so I'm told. With shows from three of the UK's 1138 00:45:45.570 --> 00:45:48.559 top comedians. Join team captain of 8 Out of 10 1139 00:45:48.559 --> 00:45:52.460 Catsters Countdown, John Richardson. Recent I'm a Celebrity Get Me 1140 00:45:52.639 --> 00:45:53.300 Out of Here. 1141 00:45:53.119 --> 00:45:55.980 Star, Sean Walsh. And me, Alan Carr. 1142 00:45:56.320 --> 00:45:59.619 We're all visiting Hackney Empire this September with our critically 1143 00:45:59.639 --> 00:46:00.739 acclaimed tour shows. 1144 00:46:01.139 --> 00:46:02.159 Ooh, la-di-da. 1145 00:46:02.340 --> 00:46:06.440 Tickets available from hackneyempire.co.uk. See you there, my loves.