Full Transcript for Trust Joy

00:03:41.360 No say the day. 00:03:41.520 --> 00:03:41.680 No one's not a little bit of a little bit. 00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:42.319 No invitations. 00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:43.520 Literally, no one's invited. 00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:44.319 No one is invited. 00:03:44.479 --> 00:03:46.560 It's just me and literally. 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:48.719 Like, but it's fine. 00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:49.360 It's fine. 00:03:49.680 --> 00:03:50.479 We're gonna get there. 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:52.960 Because what really matters is the joy. 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:53.919 The joy. 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:54.960 The joy. 00:03:57.120 --> 00:04:03.759 I do feel like there is something beautiful that happens when you know your future's not your own, anyways. 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:06.960 Like you can plan and we will like to be prepared. 00:04:07.039 --> 00:04:10.719 And obviously, like you and I are both perfectionists in one way or another. 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:12.479 We do balance each other out in that way. 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:12.719 Yeah. 00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:14.560 You really care about how things look. 00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:16.319 I really care about how things are said. 00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:24.000 But uh, you know, and so we complete each other in that way, but also we're just like, we're gonna do our best, and then the results are not really up to us. 00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:25.120 It just kind of is what it is. 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:36.399 Well, and I think in the grand scheme of things, in general, everybody, us, all the other stage wives, our husbands, our parents, whatever, everybody puts too much value on what other people think when it really doesn't matter. 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:38.160 Oh, first in the end game. 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:46.560 So, like every week I meet with my, you know, business consultant for my business, and he's like, Okay, so where's this hit on the high on the priority list, high, medium, or low? 00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:49.360 I feel like every item I give him is high or medium. 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:51.680 And in reality, it's really not. 00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:52.240 Yeah. 00:04:52.399 --> 00:04:54.560 Like deadlines come, yes, those are important. 00:04:54.720 --> 00:05:08.879 But in the grand scheme of things, getting a social media post out and like spending three hours on what it looks like is not worth it in the end because nobody's really gonna look at that and be like, man, looks like she only spent like two minutes on that. 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:10.720 Bringing this back into stage wife life. 00:05:10.879 --> 00:05:11.040 Yeah. 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:14.800 Does the house need to be pristine by the end of the day? 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:19.920 Or do you need to, um, because a couple of stagewives have commented this, a lot of people do this. 00:05:20.079 --> 00:05:25.279 Uh, do you need to clean the house and have the house a hundred percent perfect before your husband comes home? 00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:29.519

I have the desire to do that, but I have resigned myself that that's just not gonna happen. 00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:29.920 Yeah. 00:05:30.079 --> 00:05:30.639 Thankfully. 00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:33.519 But like we have a lot of stagewives who talk about that. 00:05:33.920 --> 00:05:34.319 I do that. 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:34.879 You do that. 00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:35.120 Yeah. 00:05:35.519 --> 00:05:39.040 It's like, do we not feel comfortable showing them that it's been tough? 00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:41.120 Oh interesting. 00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:41.680 Yeah. 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:42.319 What? 00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:42.879 I know. 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:44.800 Also, what's their reaction going to be? 00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:46.800 Are they gonna be like, yeah. 00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:48.560 Well, I guess we're gonna be leaving the house. 00:05:50.240 --> 00:05:50.959 Yeah, that's true. 00:05:51.199 --> 00:05:51.600 That's true. 00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:52.480 Every relationship is different. 00:05:52.720 --> 00:06:03.199 We we we have really good relationships where you know, our men come home and then they like see a problem, they want to jump in and fix it and help instead of like expecting that that's all on us to do. 00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:04.240 Right, for sure. 00:06:04.639 --> 00:06:05.360 There's a difference there. 00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:07.040 So I have to get, you know. 00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:16.000 And it is weird because I always feel guilty too, whenever whenever like Bench cleans the house or whenever he does dishes and laundry, which he so freaking amazing. 00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:19.360 Like he does so much housework, and I always feel so guilty. 00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:21.920 Because I'm just like, I didn't get to it quick enough. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:23.759 And I'm like, what is that? 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:25.680 Yeah, where is that coming from? 00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:28.319 Is it like a social expectation? 00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:29.839 Is it a personal expectation? 00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:32.639 Is it a societal expectation? 00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:36.879 I was raised in the South, so like is that that is it my heritage? 00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:43.040 Like what with like we do child rearing, and you and I both have our own businesses and stuff like that. 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:52.079 And like, even with that, like the fact that we do all of that, there's still that expectation that we hold on ourselves of like, oh, but you're supposed to be the stay-at-home mom, too. 00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:55.279 You're supposed to be the house cleaner and the cook for everything. 00:06:55.439 --> 00:06:59.680 Yeah, and because I know I carry that, and every time that I'm not doing that, I'm not a great cook. 00:06:59.839 --> 00:07:01.360 I can be, I just am not patient. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:02.560 You make great enchiladas. 00:07:02.720 --> 00:07:03.600 I make great enchiladas. 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:04.399 Those are so good. 00:07:04.720 --> 00:07:06.480 I have cooked great meals in the past. 00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:09.199 I just do not have the patience for it, and I don't like doing it. 00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:12.240 So it's more of a don't don't like versus can't do. 00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:12.720 Yes. 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:13.199 Yeah. 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:24.879 So for me, it's like I still, even though the Averizine, like, hey, I know that I'm not good at this or don't want to do this and not the best, uh, even though Hunter loves it and he would be glad to do it, I still feel guilty every time he has to cook. 00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:28.480 My brain, my primordial brain is like, I must be cook. 00:07:28.720 --> 00:07:29.519 I must be cook. 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:30.399 That's so interesting. 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:31.040 I hate it. 00:07:31.199 --> 00:07:33.600 I hate that that's there and ingrained in our heads. 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:39.199 And I wonder, you know, stage-wise, if you feel this too, like what things are ingrained in your head that aren't really reality. 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:40.319 Food for thought. 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:41.360 Pun intended. 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:41.759 Yep. 00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:43.199 But I'm bumped. 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:51.680 Well, honestly, though, that's a really good point because I feel like a part of our own primordial primordial doesn't matter. 00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:52.079 Doesn't matter. 00:07:52.959 --> 00:08:00.240 Part of our lizard brains, especially as stage wives, is the expectation to be flexible in this lifestyle because you have to be. 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:05.920 Like it is one of those things where you actually do have to be really flexible in order to make this a successful lifestyle. 00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:07.680 If you don't like flexibility, yeah. 00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:08.879 Sorry, babe. 00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:09.920 It yeah, it is. 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:11.600 It's so much pivot. 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:12.399 It really is. 00:08:12.639 --> 00:08:30.959 But a part of flexibility is almost expecting disappointment and like setting yourself up for that because you can make plans, but you need to be flexible, which means like, okay, we've made plans to go on this really nice dinner date, and then bus call gets moved up for four or five hours. 00:08:31.199 --> 00:08:42.320 Or you are making plans to go to the park, but then there's this one-off that the band that he is on salary with puts on the calendar, and now you can't go to the park. 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:49.519 It's almost like we have the strength in us to be flexible, but then there's also this disappointment ingrained in it as well. 00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:50.080 Yeah. 00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:51.120 Wow. 00:08:51.279 --> 00:09:06.000 That's a really good thing to think about because I I can I can't like pin out exactly what situation it was, but I just know I know that I have experienced a lot of this because I will say, like, oh, I want to do this, I

want to do this, I'm super excited to do this. 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:14.240 But then at the same time, I literally have told Hunter, like, yeah, I'm excited to do this, but I'm I'm holding back my excitement because it might not happen. 00:09:14.480 --> 00:09:20.320 So I'm like, I literally would shove away my excitement so that it would be less disappointing when it changed. 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:20.799 Yeah. 00:09:20.960 --> 00:09:22.720 And it's a way of protecting ourselves. 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:26.720 I think therapists call it anticipatory disappointment. 00:09:27.679 --> 00:09:33.600 And it's basically like when you've been disappointed enough that your brain starts preparing for disappointment even before it happens. 00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:36.159 I think one of the times was I was super excited. 00:09:36.399 --> 00:09:37.519 Oh, oh, I remember. 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:43.600 It was a big art event that I was going to, and I was really, really excited for him to be there. 00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:45.360 And then he ended up not being able to go. 00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:47.759 And it was a very big pivotal moment for me. 00:09:47.840 --> 00:09:52.559 But I knew deep down in accepting, like, oh my goodness, he's gonna be there. 00:09:52.720 --> 00:09:57.039 I kept saying to myself in my head, he's most likely not gonna be able to come. 00:09:57.600 --> 00:09:58.879 He's probably not gonna be able to come. 00:09:58.960 --> 00:10:00.000 He's not gonna be able to come. 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:08.080 And so I had this like underlying level of disappointment that just that shadowed so much of that interaction. 00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:10.720 And then unfortunately, that time it ended up being true. 00:10:10.879 --> 00:10:11.200 Yeah. 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:16.720 But then I unintentionally then put all that pressure on him and made him feel real bad afterwards. 00:10:16.879 --> 00:10:19.200 Cause I was he was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:20.000 I was like, it's okay. 00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.480 I kind of prepared for you not being able to go anyway. 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:22.960 Yeah. 00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:24.399 As like a, oh, it's fine. 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:28.960 But then in reality, he was like, Do you really just anticipate that I'm not gonna be there? 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:29.279 Yeah. 00:10:29.519 --> 00:10:31.600 And I was like, Kind of, kinda, yeah. 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:33.840 Yeah, we have to in a way. 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:39.679 I mean, we don't have to, I suppose, but it is a way of protecting our so is that good or bad? 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:40.960 Don't know. 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:41.600 Sam. 00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:42.080 Sam. 00:10:43.279 --> 00:10:46.240 But uh but yeah, I don't know if that's good or bad. 00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:50.159 I think if it gets in the way of us having joy, then it's bad. 00:10:50.799 --> 00:10:52.639 Two things can be true at the same time, right? 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:59.360 Like you can, you're allowed to expect disappointment, but also there needs to be joy on the other side of it as well. 00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:03.840 I think maybe in that situation, you know, expecting him to not be there and then he wasn't. 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:04.960 Okay, well, good. 00:11:05.120 --> 00:11:06.159 You prepared for it. 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:09.120 You know, you weren't like blindsided, which would have been terrible. 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:15.679 But also you got to like drink in that moment by yourself and like get to soak in this thing of like, I did this. 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:16.879 Yeah, here I am. 00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:18.639 Flexibility without resentment. 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:21.200 Yeah, that's the key, dude. 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:25.440 Ooh, she hit a nerve. 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:27.759 Because that is so true. 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:41.039 Like having the flexibility as a stage wife and not carrying the resentment that can come along with that is such a skill and a dance and a balance and a necessity if you're gonna have a successful marriage. 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:47.519 Well, and I think all of us, like everybody, kids especially, crave structure and crave routine. 00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:48.320 Yep, yep, yep, yep. 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:51.279 But in this lifestyle, you just you just can't get that. 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:52.480 That's not guaranteed. 00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:59.679 And so it is really easy to tag on resentment with that because of course, what is the thing that is causing you to have to be flexible? 00:11:59.840 --> 00:12:00.399 His career. 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:00.720 Yeah. 00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:03.679 And so, like, it is so easy to pin that on him. 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:10.639 But yeah, if you do, it will like pile up and lead to so many other problems in your relationship and just keep compounding. 00:12:10.960 --> 00:12:14.480 Well, and there's a cost to being the strong one. 00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:16.159 You know what I mean? 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:24.720 And there is a cost to being the one who is carrying the at-home weight a lot of the time. 00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:26.080 We hear that all the time. 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:31.200 I hear that every single time I try to explain what this career and this lifestyle is. 00:12:31.519 --> 00:12:32.240 So annoying, dude. 00:12:32.399 --> 00:12:34.159 It's like it gets so old so fast. 00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:36.559 Oh my gosh, she's gone so long. 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:37.519 You're so strong. 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:38.399 I could never do it. 00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:39.919 I could never do that. 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:41.759 How could you, how could you do that? 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:44.080 How are you, how are you alive right now? 00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.679 How are you surviving? 00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:46.000 Yeah. 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:51.600 And I'm like, like the whole you're so strong, and you know, they're trying to

validate, they're trying to make it. 00:12:52.559 --> 00:12:53.519 It's meant to be a compliment. 00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:53.759 Yeah. 00:12:53.919 --> 00:12:57.600 But like in reality, like it just kind of like puts you in a cage. 00:12:57.840 --> 00:12:58.000 Yeah. 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:01.360 And it almost like triggers something in your brain of like, are you okay? 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:02.879 And you're just like, Am I okay? 00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:04.080 Yeah, am I? 00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:04.960 Am I okay? 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:06.639 Should I be falling apart? 00:13:06.879 --> 00:13:11.679 It's like, yeah, it's a weird thing of shifting your perspective almost in a negative way. 00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:16.639 Like you said, it's meant to be a compliment, it's meant to build you up, but actually it just triggers something. 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:21.360 It's like it's like almost puts you in a space where you're like, oh, this is a season that I need to get out of. 00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:22.240 Yeah. 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:25.200 And not like a season that this is my life. 00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:25.519 Yeah. 00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:32.399 Which we don't want to, we don't want to put ourselves in a position where we have a light at the end of the tunnel that we're constantly straining for. 00:13:32.639 --> 00:13:33.840 What was it that Sam said? 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:40.159 She was like, My family doesn't need a finish line to find joy or to be successful. 00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:41.039 Yes. 00:13:41.279 --> 00:13:42.080 Which I love that. 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:42.720 I love that. 00:13:42.879 --> 00:13:49.360 I feel like it also puts you into a headspace of I can't fall apart and I can't need help. 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:51.039 Like, I have to look strong. 00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:51.679 Yeah. 00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:55.279 Like they're they're reminding me that I'm strong for going through this. 00:13:55.360 --> 00:13:55.919 And you are. 00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:56.320 Yeah. 00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:56.879 We are. 00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:58.559 But yo, you are. 00:13:58.720 --> 00:13:59.360 You are. 00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:00.399 You are. 00:14:00.879 --> 00:14:01.519 Listen to it. 00:14:01.679 --> 00:14:03.279 That can also lead to isolation, though. 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:03.759 Yeah. 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:05.279 Like, oh, I'm strong. 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:06.960 This is what I identify as now. 00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:14.480 If I show that I'm weak, then I lose my strength, I lose my identity, and I'm no longer a strong stage wife. 00:14:14.559 --> 00:14:16.639 I'm just that's really interesting. 00:14:16.879 --> 00:14:17.200 Yeah. 00:14:17.360 --> 00:14:17.519 Yeah. 00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:19.440 Hunter and I have been married for 10 years. 00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:23.039 And so the entire time of our marriage, we have he has been touring. 00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:23.519 Yeah. 00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:26.559 And so we have gone through, we have gone through it. 00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:34.159 But I feel like now we are at a really good, healthy spot, which is why I feel like Ryan and I are able to like pour out into the community and stuff. 00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:42.080 But with that, there's a catch 22 because it's like, oh, I'm a strong, I'm succeeding, which means that I can't acknowledge when it is hard. 00:14:42.559 --> 00:14:44.480 Because I'm like, oh, well, no, that was the past. 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:45.759 I got through that hard time. 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:48.480 I can't actively be struggling. 00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:49.200 Hmm. 00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:50.639 That feels dirty to me. 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:51.120 It does. 00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:55.919 Well, it feels like if I let myself be weak now, then coming out of the hard season didn't happen. 00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:56.960 And like I didn't succeed. 00:14:57.120 --> 00:14:59.200 So it's like you're not like backsliding. 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:01.039 Oh, I know. 00:15:01.279 --> 00:15:01.600 Brother. 00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:02.480 Brother. 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:05.120 So I don't know. 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:12.320 At least in my brain, that's kind of what I feel like is if I admit that I'm really in a really rough spot, even when I've come out of that seasons. 00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:13.360 That's very interesting. 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:15.919 Like now I'm like, well, now, no, I've succeeded. 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:18.240 I cannot admit that I am currently so interested. 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:18.799 Struggling. 00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:25.600 Yeah, I think my I've just gone over the cycle of healing so many times that it just makes sense. 00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:27.919 Like, oh no, yeah, healing's not linear. 00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:30.639 Like you're gonna have good days, you're gonna have bad days. 00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:33.840 You're gonna have, you know, and it just uh is a part of being human. 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:34.240 Yeah. 00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:43.360 Like you're still climbing up the mountain of where you would like to eventually be, and you've made progress, but slow progress sometimes it doesn't feel like you're moving at all. 00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:48.720 At least for for Hunter and I, we went through a season of like two or three years where it was really, really rough. 00:15:48.879 --> 00:15:50.960 Like we were not in a good space. 00:15:51.200 --> 00:15:54.240 And so for us, that was like that was our bad time. 00:15:54.559 --> 00:15:58.639 And so thankfully, you know, it is good that we haven't had anything like that since then. 00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:03.519 And it's like small tiffs, but I do I do find myself putting myself in that cage. 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:04.080 Yeah. 00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:10.559 Something that I've noticed too is that sometimes touring isn't the problem, sometimes it exposes the problem. 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:11.360 Ooh. 00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:25.440 Like, what if when he I know don't

like what if what if his being gone is exposing a childhood trauma, fear of abandonment? 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:32.080 What if the anxiety comes from like your instability from when you were growing up? 00:16:32.240 --> 00:16:32.799 You know what I mean? 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:42.720 Or struggle with flexibility being the because like maybe you were raised in a military family and like structure was the thing and structure was key, and structure was the key to success. 00:16:42.960 --> 00:16:43.840 And now there's not. 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:44.559 Yeah. 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:45.519 I don't know. 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:46.240 I don't know. 00:16:46.399 --> 00:16:50.080 I mean we don't we don't have we don't have a the we're not Sam. 00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:54.559 We don't have a degree in this, we don't have a we don't have a sort of asking questions, you know? 00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:56.720 That is so interesting. 00:16:57.039 --> 00:16:57.519 What if? 00:16:57.600 --> 00:17:07.119 Because I feel like as we're talking about this, and we haven't even gotten to the trusting joy again part, like we're still muddling through all of the things that lead us to distrust of joy. 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:10.480 But what if it's not as simple as him being gone? 00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:21.839 Because we love to point fingers and we love to blame and we love to do all the things, and it is easier to be angry than to deal with the issue at hand, especially when the issue is within ourselves. 00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:29.359 And it's easier to blame his schedule, his tour, his timing, his career on why we are not happy. 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:31.599 Oh wow, that is such an interesting thought. 00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:31.839 Yeah. 00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:36.160 Like it makes a lot of sense though, because we carry all that internally. 00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:41.359 And when you are in seasons of high stress, that kind of stuff exhibits itself. 00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:46.240 Like I have had trauma of not feeling like I'm good enough for XYZ. 00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:59.359 And so maybe the reason why I'm so stressed to make sure that he's not having to do so many chores when he gets home and that he doesn't see that I'm struggling is because I I want him to see that I'm good enough to be in this lifestyle. 00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:00.160 Ooh. 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:05.519 Oh my. 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:10.079 If I say I'm struggling, does that mean I'm not a good enough stage wife? 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:10.559 Ooh. 00:18:10.799 --> 00:18:12.000 Or just good enough in general. 00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:13.039 Or just good enough. 00:18:13.119 --> 00:18:13.440 Yeah. 00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:13.839 Yeah. 00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:15.279 So that's our podcast. 00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:17.119 We're gonna go cry now. 00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:18.319 We're gonna go cry. 00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:19.599 See you later, everybody. 00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:23.599 Welcome to Oh no, Ray and Rise existential crisis. 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:27.920 I love these kinds of podcasts though, and like things just naturally get done. 00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:28.240 Yeah. 00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:30.960 Because like, yeah, that is yeah. 00:18:36.559 --> 00:18:38.079 Trauma, trauma, trauma. 00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:39.519 It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. 00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:40.480 It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. 00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:41.759 Just immediately laugh about it. 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:42.240 It's great. 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:43.279 That's so true though. 00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:47.359 Oh, if you guys resonate with this, feel free to put it whatever you want to in the comments. 00:18:48.160 --> 00:18:48.640 You know. 00:18:48.960 --> 00:18:55.200 I'm laughing because the next part of our segment is called minim minimizing our own pain. 00:18:56.799 --> 00:19:02.079 God, anyways. 00:19:02.319 --> 00:19:04.880 Okay, so I'm gonna let y'all in on a little secret. 00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:13.599 So we do have like obviously outlines for our podcast because we like to stay on track because rabbit trails, ADD, all the things. 00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:14.000 Yeah. 00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:18.799 And I'm not kidding, the next outlines are things that I have said out loud. 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:19.200 Yeah. 00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:29.839 So, like the next excuses that we make for our minimizing our own pain are military wives have it harder, single moms have it harder, uh, other people have real problems. 00:19:30.079 --> 00:19:36.480 So literally, there's been moments where we've talked about this statistic for military wives. 00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:45.599 And Ray has been like, no, but there is real statistics out there that say that the what military wives and what stage wives go through is exactly the same. 00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:49.519 And I'm just like, yeah, but our husbands aren't out there risking their lives. 00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:50.960 Yeah, they're not fighting for their country. 00:19:51.759 --> 00:19:52.720 It's not as long. 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:53.599 Yeah, exactly. 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:57.839 When they go on tour, like we're not afraid of them dying for the most part. 00:19:58.079 --> 00:20:02.640 But I think one of the things that we I've heard this from multiple stagewives too. 00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:17.359 Of like, because we we compare it and we say, like, no, if if your husbands are traveling and you are feeling that separation, doesn't matter if they're in the music industry, doesn't matter if they're a tour bus driver or if they're a salesperson or if they're in the military, you're welcome to join this group. 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:20.000 Like they just have to be traveling spouse. 00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:27.519 You can still join, just bear with the music puns, but I've heard that from multiple stage wives of like, oh, well, military wives have it so much harder. 00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:31.200 And well, it doesn't really compare

to that, but it really, it really truly does. 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:40.480 And I think what we could gain from partnering with military wives is that there have been structures put in place for military wives. 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:43.680 And so I want to open this up to more military wives as well. 00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:46.079 And like, maybe we'll get a military wife on the podcast. 00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:47.119 I was literally just thinking that. 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:52.000 I think I think they have so much to be able to give to us. 00:20:52.079 --> 00:21:00.000 There are people in our stage wife group who have husbands who uh left two months ago and won't be back until October. 00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:00.720 Yeah. 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:10.240 Like there are spouses that go out on pop tours that are six months long, and a lot of military tour schedules are around six months. 00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:10.960 To a year, yeah. 00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:11.359 To a year. 00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:12.319 Amber Health. 00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:12.559 Yeah. 00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:30.799 Um, they were on the Gigs podcast, and hopefully I don't butcher this, but they talked about how touring individuals, like men, women on the road, have the same amount of anxiety and stress as military and as paramedics that are constantly in those high stress situations. 00:21:31.039 --> 00:21:36.400 And um, I I want to dig more into that on a completely different podcast because I think it's such an interesting fact. 00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:45.279 And it did shock me a little bit because I naturally expected it to be less, but it's based on all their stats and stuff, it is it is just as high. 00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:58.720 The next one, the single mom salad heart, that's something that like I've said, and I've just been like, Well, you know, I I can't I live like a single parent, but you're not technically a single, so I don't count, and it's but let me speak into this. 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:07.599 So I remember sitting in multiple church services where they would have like single moms stand up or single spouses. 00:22:07.839 --> 00:22:15.680 And I'm just like, on the inside, I'm wanting to stand up, but I can't because I'm technically married and you know, all of the things. 00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:17.599 But let me tell you, stage wife. 00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:18.960 Look into my eyes. 00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:19.759 Look into her eyes. 00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:21.119 Look it up. 00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:24.079 So everyone knows that I am divorced. 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:35.200 And I will tell you as a straight up fact, going from being married as a stage wife to being a full-time, no holds bar single mom, there is no difference. 00:22:35.359 --> 00:22:37.680 To be fair, every single situation is different. 00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:40.640 Every marriage is different, every relationship is different. 00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:55.279 But from the amount that my ex toured, which was on

average 300 days a year, to being a full-time single parent, I would like to remove that excuse from your brain that single moms have it harder because I have been both. 00:22:55.759 --> 00:22:57.200 And I can tell you that there's no difference. 00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:00.480 And hopefully that like equally shocks and relieves you. 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:02.079 Yeah, because it empowers you. 00:23:02.160 --> 00:23:02.799 It empowered me. 00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:08.240 It empowered me when she was telling me that when she had that realization, I was like, oh, yeah. 00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:08.799 Okay. 00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:09.920 It is hard. 00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:11.279 It is freaking hard. 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:12.240 Okay. 00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:13.680 This is this is great. 00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:14.079 Okay. 00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:15.119 Now I feel better. 00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:22.240 Hopefully that doesn't discourage you, but empowers you to know that you are doing something incredibly difficult. 00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:29.440 There's no benefit to downplaying pain or downplaying your situation. 00:23:29.759 --> 00:23:30.720 It's a balance, right? 00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:35.920 Because there is nothing good about downplaying it, but there is something terrible about inflating it. 00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:41.119 So, like we don't want to be a victim and we don't want to say, like, woe is me. 00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:47.680 But then also you don't want to dismiss what you're going through because it is hard. 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:49.839 And those tears are valid. 00:23:50.160 --> 00:24:00.319 And you are incredibly strong for going through what you're going through and supporting your husband and being the like anchor at home. 00:24:00.720 --> 00:24:02.319 That's really tough. 00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:03.440 And you're doing it. 00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:07.279 We can acknowledge the pain, but we don't want to identify with it. 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:07.680 Yep. 00:24:07.839 --> 00:24:08.319 1000%. 00:24:08.799 --> 00:24:14.559 If you identify with the pain and you identify with like this is just my life, like I'm this is miserable. 00:24:14.720 --> 00:24:15.359 I'm miserable. 00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:16.559 I will always be miserable. 00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:17.359 Everything like that. 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:22.319 Like that is where you're identifying with that pain and you're identifying with that situation. 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:23.440 Like, no, no, no, no. 00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:24.000 No, no, no. 00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:24.240 Yeah. 00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:25.119 You're strong. 00:24:25.279 --> 00:24:25.680 Yeah. 00:24:26.079 --> 00:24:27.839 There is like. 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:30.960 Well, it's just it's funny because pain's not a competition. 00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:31.680 It's not. 00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:32.480 You know what I mean? 00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:35.039 It's like, oh, well, they they're doing that and they're doing that. 00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:35.839 Pain is pain. 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:36.720 Pain is pain. 00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:38.720 And tough is tough. 00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:40.799 And Moxie is Moxie. 00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:41.599 You know what I'm saying? 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:47.200 But I would also like to challenge you to think about like who are you outside of your roles? 00:24:47.759 --> 00:25:03.599 Outside of being a stage wife, outside of whether it be stay-at-home mom, whether it be a career artist, manager, HR representative, regardless of stage wife, what you do for work or where you find yourself. 00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:04.880 Your role, your identity. 00:25:05.119 --> 00:25:06.240 Yeah, whatever it is. 00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:16.240 I think it's really important to identify what brings you joy, what excites you, what dreams have you put down, and what parts of yourself need revisiting. 00:25:16.880 --> 00:25:20.960 Because the entire point of this podcast today is learning to trust joy. 00:25:21.119 --> 00:25:25.119 And we can't exactly do that if we don't even know what brings us joy. 00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:26.000 You know what I mean? 00:25:26.079 --> 00:25:26.240 Yeah. 00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:30.079 Because I think many of us aren't actually struggling with joy. 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:31.680 We're struggling with vulnerability. 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:32.640 Ooh. 00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:33.839 Say that again. 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:35.680 Say that again. 00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:39.359 Learning to trust joy, right? 00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:42.319 I don't think we're actually struggling with joy. 00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:44.559 I think we're struggling with vulnerability. 00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:51.359 Allowing ourselves to hope and giving ourselves permission to say, I deserve happiness. 00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:58.640 You know, or even just allowing ourselves to find the things that fill us up. 00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:08.000 Like we don't have to be so strong, so put together this entire time, even though it's hard that we can't allow ourselves time to have joy. 00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:08.400 Yeah. 00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:10.720 And find things to bring in joy. 00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:12.799 Even if it means the house is dirtier. 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:13.279 Yeah. 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:14.480 The dishes don't get done. 00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:17.119 Maybe we skip bath for the third night in a row. 00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:17.599 Yeah. 00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:23.279 Like well, dude, and like what you said, it's the level of importance in life, right? 00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:25.599 Like, what's more important right now? 00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:28.480 A good night's sleep starting at 9 p.m. 00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:34.960 after the kids go down, or staying up until 10:30 doing dishes and having a clean house. 00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:41.279 Your answers might be different from day to day because having a clean house for me does give me peace and it does help my mental health.

00:26:41.599 --> 00:26:46.400 But sleep is so vital for balancing your brain. 00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:55.200 That's the only way you get rid of stress hormones, or one of the only ways that you get rid of stress hormones is you sleep them away and they just melt. 00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:56.880 Yeah. 00:26:57.200 --> 00:26:58.880 That's how I imagine it, anyways. 00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:04.640 Just imagine her laying there and just internally ASMRing. 00:27:05.920 --> 00:27:10.000 That's something I need to get better at because sleep is the first thing for that goes for me. 00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:10.319 Yeah. 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:11.759 But that compounds the issues. 00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:12.240 For sure. 00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:12.720 1000%. 00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:13.279 Yeah. 00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:16.480 Makes you work less hard, makes you tired more often. 00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:18.240 Metabolism goes bye-bye. 00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:18.559 Yeah. 00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:19.279 That's true. 00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:20.480 It impacts everything. 00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:20.960 Yeah. 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:22.640 So choose sleep if you can't. 00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:24.160 Choose sleep. 00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:25.359 Choose joy. 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:27.119 First, you need to figure out what it is. 00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:31.359 You need to be vulnerable enough to accept it and to find it. 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:32.880 To say that you're deserving of it. 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:34.000 Yeah, exactly. 00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:40.319 And what are the things that we can find joy in that don't depend on your husband's schedule? 00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:40.799 Mm-hmm. 00:27:40.960 --> 00:27:44.960 Oh, don't depend on the kids' schedule as well. 00:27:45.119 --> 00:27:49.440 It's like, okay, a little cup of coffee, that brings me so much joy. 00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:51.680 And I'm going to enjoy this moment. 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:59.519 I have a Keureg in my bedroom because I don't want to walk all the way downstairs to enjoy my coffee. 00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:01.680 I just want to have it whenever I wake up in the morning. 00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:04.000 So I wake up and I put it in there and then it's done. 00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:05.119 And that brings me joy. 00:28:05.279 --> 00:28:10.240 Like, what are the little things that we can do that are not dependent on anyone else? 00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:10.720 Mm-hmm. 00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:13.839 And that we can just learn to enjoy again. 00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:14.319 Yeah. 00:28:14.480 --> 00:28:20.319 And like finding those little steps towards having a life just so fulfilled. 00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:21.680 That's your challenge for the day. 00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:22.480 Find your joy. 00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:24.000 For this week, actually. 00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:25.359 For this lifetime. 00:28:25.680 --> 00:28:26.640 For this lifetime. 00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:27.680 Don't stop. 00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:28.960 Believe in. 00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:30.319 Hold on to that. 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:31.200 To that feeling. 00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:35.119 I feel like this lifestyle is so multifaceted. 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:40.400 And there's so many moving parts of it at all times. 00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:43.440 But if no one's told you today, you're doing a great job. 00:28:43.599 --> 00:28:44.240 You're doing great. 00:28:44.640 --> 00:28:45.839 You're so strong. 00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:48.000 But you are strong. 00:28:48.160 --> 00:28:48.640 But you're strong. 00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:49.440 But it sucks. 00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:50.720 But you know, joy. 00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:58.079 Hopefully, we have communicated this in a way that does not feel like we're putting a band-aid over real pain or a bumper sticker over real pain. 00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:08.319 But genuinely, once you are out of victim mentality, and once you are out of survival mode, which is the hardest part, that is the biggest mountain you have to conquer. 00:29:08.400 --> 00:29:12.559 But once you're out of that and the healing can begin, there is so much light and beauty. 00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:16.640 Like finding joy could also be a in your walk to go get the mail. 00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:18.400 I don't know if you're religious, but have some time with God. 00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:19.200 Have a prayer with God. 00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:21.039 Have enjoy the birds. 00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:21.680 The bird. 00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:23.680 Take your coffee somewhere new. 00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:24.319 Yeah. 00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:31.119 Look at something around your backyard or your house or your apartment or wherever you are and say, what around here is beautiful. 00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:31.759 You know what? 00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:32.960 That is very, very true. 00:29:33.119 --> 00:29:42.400 Cause whenever I was in survival mode and just like white knuckling it, having those little moments of gratitude was really pivotal. 00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:52.240 One of the things that, and I know we're we're kind of ending and don't want to go on too much of a tangent here, but um, Hunter and I just got back from our 10-year anniversary and we went to Paris. 00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:56.880 We don't like ever vacation, so we wanted to do something super special for 10 years. 00:29:57.119 --> 00:30:01.519 When we went there though, the pace of the lifestyle was so different. 00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:09.519 And so when I was there, I took my sketchbook and we would just sit somewhere for like 15 minutes and I would sketch. 00:30:09.599 --> 00:30:11.519 And that was so peaceful. 00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:22.960 And so for me, like I one of the things that I'm taking away from that is I have a tiny sketchbook with me wherever I go, and I'm gonna find something beautiful each day and try to sketch a little quick five-minute sketch in that. 00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:23.599 I love that. 00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:32.559 And it it is something that

just reminds you, like with the conversation I had with the stage wife earlier, of me feeling like I'm doing so much that I black out on the whole week. 00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:34.000 Yeah, I don't remember anything. 00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:37.839 Finding those moments of joy help you to define each day. 00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:41.759 It will help time to slow down so you don't feel like you're losing track of time. 00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:42.319 Yeah. 00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:46.799 And it will just make your life better and it will reflect in your kids. 00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:48.240 Your kids are gonna see you doing that. 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:50.160 Your kids are gonna see you choosing joy. 00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:53.440 You'll have a better relationship with them, a better relationship with your husband. 00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:55.759 So what can it hurt? 00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:56.720 What can it hurt? 00:30:56.799 --> 00:30:57.039 You know? 00:30:57.599 --> 00:30:58.000 Nothing. 00:30:58.240 --> 00:30:58.720 Nothing. 00:30:59.440 --> 00:31:02.559 Choose joy and trust that it's not gonna let you down. 00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:03.759 You know what I mean? 00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:07.279 Like it's not there, it's not gonna change its schedule on you. 00:31:07.519 --> 00:31:08.559 Joy is always present. 00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:09.519 You just have to find it. 00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:10.079 You know? 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:11.599 We love you, Stagewives. 00:31:11.759 --> 00:31:19.279 In the meantime, as you are choosing joy this week, don't forget to mark your calendars for July 28th for our book release party. 00:31:19.359 --> 00:31:20.720 It's gonna be so fun. 00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:26.880 And if if you're out of town and you can't come to the book release party, we have pre-sale orders out now. 00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:32.720 And the first hundred copies, which we don't have that many left of the first hundred pre-sales. 00:31:33.039 --> 00:31:34.160 Which is crazy to say out loud. 00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:34.720 Exciting. 00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:44.640 So if you want a signed copy by Ray and Rye, uh, please go on the website, order that now, and then that should get to you uh hopefully by the release date as well. 00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:52.720 Um, so it doesn't matter if you are in Tennessee and able to come to that or not, you will be able to get your signed copy if you go to the website. 00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:54.480 You might get it before everybody else. 00:31:54.799 --> 00:32:00.559 You might get it before everybody else, depending on who knows how uh shipping wants to handle things. 00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:10.720 But uh we are so excited to give this to you guys and cannot wait for the joy that it hopefully brings your families and ways that it can help your kids. 00:32:11.119 --> 00:32:13.519 Connectivity, reconnection, reconnect, all the things. 00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:14.880 So excited about this. 00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:21.359 And then uh the other thing is that if you go to our website, stagewives.com, you will see the shop button. 00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:23.519 That is where you'll be able to do your pre-order. 00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:26.640 Uh, you'll also see there's some merch now. 00:32:27.119 --> 00:32:29.359 Look at who's wrapping our merch. 00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:36.240 We have black baseball hats, uh, stage wife, all access pass, luggage tag. 00:32:36.559 --> 00:32:44.319 And then uh I'm also in the works with getting sweatshirts, tank tops, uh, some stage kids stuff. 00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:46.480 So be on the lookout for that as well. 00:32:46.640 --> 00:32:55.119 So we're gonna have merch available for you so that you can rep stage wives and be proud of your stage wife role in this lifestyle. 00:32:55.359 --> 00:32:55.680 Yeah. 00:32:55.920 --> 00:32:56.720 So we're excited. 00:32:56.880 --> 00:33:00.720 And if you're new to the podcast, thank you for listening to this whole thing. 00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:10.720 Um, what a treat for you to be here and just be on this crazy journey with Ray and I because I feel like these are always fun and hopefully entertaining for you. 00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:19.759 But if you're new, please go follow us on socials at Stagewives on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook. 00:33:19.920 --> 00:33:30.880 We also have a private Facebook group, which is where all the nitty-gritty happens and the community comes together and we get to discuss really hard things and good things and everything in between. 00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:37.920 At We Are Stagewives, uh, you do have to fill out a questionnaire just to make sure that you're a real person, you're not a robot. 00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:40.480 Um you do not have to be married. 00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:42.400 We've had that question quite a bit recently. 00:33:42.799 --> 00:33:48.000 You can be dating or engaged to someone who travels for work who's gonna be on one. 00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:56.160 So um, we've had athletes, wives, um had military wives, military wives, we've had salespeople, um, wives. 00:33:56.480 --> 00:34:02.720 If you are not in the music industry, you'll just have to deal with some music puns because you know fill out the questionnaire and ask if it applies to you and if you're good. 00:34:02.799 --> 00:34:08.639 And then, you know, I go through every single one of these personally to make sure that we have uh a safe group. 00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:10.639 And so uh I will see it. 00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:13.840 I will message you if I have any questions and we can get you in. 00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:14.800 Easy peasy. 00:34:15.039 --> 00:34:19.679 But uh yeah, we just we want to create a safe space for you guys, and all of you are welcome. 00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:20.639 We're so excited. 00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:23.039 Yeah, just to have this space growing for you. 00:34:23.599 --> 00:34:24.960 So glad you guys are here. 00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:29.119 Still crazy that it's been a year and this is where we're at. 00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:30.400 It's just wild. 00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:32.800 But we love you guys, love you so much. 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:34.000 Great week. 00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:38.239 We will see you next week with Backstage Huddle. 00:34:38.400 --> 00:34:41.280 But until then, we love you. 00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:43.280 Thank you for your presence. 00:34:43.519 --> 00:34:46.880 You are amazing, so proud of what you're doing. 00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:52.000 It is a niche lifestyle, but hopefully not so niche anymore because you have found your people. 00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:52.880 So we're here. 00:34:53.119 --> 00:34:53.679 We love you guys. 00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:54.480 Have a great week. 00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:55.360 Bye. 00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:56.000 Bye.