Full Transcript for Do This BEFORE Writing Your Birth Plan or It Won't Matter As A First Time Mom! | Ep. 87

a review? 00:05:39.299 --> 00:05:50.250 It takes about 30 seconds and it's genuinely the most impactful thing that puts this show in front of other Catholic moms who are looking for something exactly like this but don't know how to find it. 00:05:50.589 --> 00:05:52.060 It also just means the world to me. 00:05:52.060 --> 00:05:53.649 I read every single review. 00:05:53.649 --> 00:05:56.019 If this is your first episode though, don't even worry about it. 00:05:56.019 --> 00:05:57.909 I definitely want your review to be earnest. 00:05:58.149 --> 00:06:01.000 So listen to a few more episodes first and see if you like me. 00:06:01.049 --> 00:06:05.079 But it, yes, a review and a rating would mean so, so much if you're willing to do that. 00:06:05.379 --> 00:06:08.709 Okay, friends, with that out of the way, let's get into today's episode. 00:06:10.316 --> 00:06:15.836 Okay, so first I want to say something about birth plans because I am for sure not about to tell you to throw your birth plan away. 00:06:16.045 --> 00:06:18.895 Like I said in the intro, I do think they are very important. 00:06:18.895 --> 00:06:24.206 You should absolutely be thinking through your birth preferences, ideally before you're ever even pregnant. 00:06:24.206 --> 00:06:31.946 Like honestly, that is what's likely to set you up for the best experience is when you know what you want before you ever even have to think about it. 00:06:32.245 --> 00:06:41.545 Your birth plan totally has a job, okay, and a very, very real job at that, but oftentimes we get the job very wrong, the job is actually this. 00:06:41.816 --> 00:06:55.435 It is supposed to be a conversation starter, and that conversation should ideally happen in an office, at a prenatal appointment, kind of near the beginning of your pregnancy while you are dressed and sitting up and thinking clearly, okay? 00:06:55.495 --> 00:06:56.875 Not when you are already in labor. 00:06:57.175 --> 00:07:02.905 That is when a birth plan does its best work, is during your pregnancy, early on in your pregnancy. 00:07:03.206 --> 00:07:18.865 You bring it in to your provider and you say,"Hey, I put some of my preferences on paper and I wanted to talk through them with you." And then from that place, you watch what happens next, because what happens next is worth way more than anything that's actually written on your birth plan itself. 00:07:19.165 --> 00:07:22.675 You should be looking out to see, like, does your provider get curious? 00:07:22.675 --> 00:07:38.855 Do they ask you why do they say,"Oh, good, let's talk about this one," or like,"Yes, this is already how we practice." Or does your provider kind of get a little tight around the eyes and say like,"Sure, as long as everything's fine." Or, you know, like I said in the intro, we'll see how things go. 00:07:38.855 --> 00:07:41.255 That's a very common response to birth plans, okay? 00:07:41.255 --> 00:07:43.415 And friend, that right there is your answer. 00:07:43.415 --> 00:07:44.346 That's the whole thing. 00:07:44.646 --> 00:07:52.086 To see how your provider responds to your birth plan is almost the entire job of the birth plan, all right? 00:07:52.385 --> 00:07:54.365 Here's what a birth plan cannot do. 00:07:54.455 --> 00:07:57.995 It cannot change how a person practices medicine, okay? 00:07:58.295 --> 00:08:03.875 I wanna say that again because it took me so much time inside the hospital to really believe that. 00:08:04.175 --> 00:08:12.276 A piece of paper handed to somebody when you are already in labor at four centimeters or five centimeters cannot change 15 years of habit, all right? 00:08:12.276 --> 00:08:14.466 It does not have the capacity to do that. 00:08:14.765 --> 00:08:24.515 And if you go into birth believing that your birth plan has the capacity to do that, you are going to be fighting an uphill battle that you do not want to be fighting while you are in labor, okay? 00:08:24.515 --> 00:08:27.005 It will not be, ideal. 00:08:27.305 --> 00:08:32.475 You can kind of think about it like hiring a wedding photographer or just like a photographer in general, right? 00:08:32.625 --> 00:08:47.685 So like say you find somebody whose entire portfolio is dark and moody, like our wedding photographer was amazing, very dark and moody vibes, right, with like deep shadows and like kind of muted colors and everything is just like a little bit brooding, super beautiful. 00:08:47.875 --> 00:08:57.056 But you book her, you book this photographer, and then two weeks before your session or before your wedding, you send her over like a Pinterest mood board that is totally light and airy. 00:08:57.355 --> 00:09:02.355 And, she's gonna be like,"What the heck, bro?" Like, This is not what I do. 00:09:02.385 --> 00:09:05.175 This is not how I photograph people. 00:09:05.175 --> 00:09:11.655 This is, this is not, like, this is not me." And do I think that there are issues with that in the medical field? 00:09:11.655 --> 00:09:16.576 Do I think that OB-GYNs and all types of providers should be able to support hands-off birth? 00:09:16.605 --> 00:09:19.096 Absolutely, but that's kinda not the reality, right? 00:09:19.096 --> 00:09:21.645 That's not, that's not how things currently are. 00:09:21.645 --> 00:09:43.066 And I think if you put yourself in a situation like this where you book your provider and you go through your whole pregnancy never asking questions about how they practice medicine, and then at the very end, a couple of weeks before you're about to give birth, you say,"By the way, I want this, this, that, and the other thing." And they're like,"That is not how I do things." Do I think that's right? 00:09:43.096 --> 00:09:45.885 No, but it is extremely common. 00:09:45.945 --> 00:09:48.586 And you're gonna be in an uncomfortable situation. 00:09:48.586 --> 00:09:54.015 And, you know, hopefully she's, she or he, your birth provider, is going to try to accommodate that. 00:09:54.135 --> 00:09:57.316 They are

professional and they should absolutely try. 00:09:57.536 --> 00:10:13.855 Just like if you hire a dark and moody photographer and then you send them a light and airy mood board, like they should try to accommodate that or they should tell you, you know, you need to find somebody else, but when you're in, you're pinched for time, that's not always as practical or as easy, right? 00:10:13.855 --> 00:10:22.005 So, when you hire a photographer that looks dark and moody, you're gonna get photos that look like that dark and moody style, and that's not necessarily a knock on that photographer. 00:10:22.306 --> 00:11:17.545 It's just that that's what they are good at. 00:11:17.545 --> 00:11:18.325 That is their niche. 00:11:18.325 --> 00:11:19.375 That's their area. 00:11:19.625 --> 00:11:21.995 You develop a way of doing it, right? 00:11:21.995 --> 00:11:26.735 Of doing your thing, of whatever that profession is, you develop your own way of doing that. 00:11:26.825 --> 00:11:37.895 And under pressure at 2:00 in the morning, when the room gets tense and a decision has to be made fast, people kind of just default to the thing that they have always done. 00:11:38.165 --> 00:11:43.835 so think about your birth plan like the mood board and your provider, like the photographer. 00:11:44.135 --> 00:12:02.775 If what you want is a really low intervention, hands-off, physiologic birth, you wanna labor, maybe like birth in the tub, you want intermittent monitoring, you want no IV, you wanna be able to eat and drink however you want, but then you choose a provider who is surgically trained, right? 00:12:02.775 --> 00:12:15.015 Like they're, they're a surgical OBGYN, surgery is their area, maybe they have a high C-section rate, they don't support VBAC, they don't support breach, they want you to push flat on your back with your legs up in stirrups. 00:12:15.015 --> 00:12:16.785 They would highly prefer that you get an epidural. 00:12:16.905 --> 00:12:23.446 Like that's an entirely different mood board and you did not pick the professional that is going to help you get the outcome that you want to get. 00:12:23.686 --> 00:12:25.696 I think I just see this happen all the time. 00:12:25.696 --> 00:12:36.645 When we're hiring out for a service in other areas, it's super common for us to vet the person that we wanna hire and make sure that they can actually support us in getting the outcome that we want. 00:12:36.885 --> 00:12:49.095 If you were hiring a contractor to come in and do your floors, you would vet that contractor first before inviting them into your house to rip up all of the carpet and redo it to make sure that they could actually give you the outcome that you want. 00:12:49.186 --> 00:13:04.666 And that's not me saying that providers are responsible ultimately for the outcome of your birth because that's not true either, but it's highly important that you hire a professional to attend your birth that is going to help you get to the outcome that you want.

00:13:04.666 --> 00:13:11.055 Even if they can't ultimately control the outcome, they can influence the outcome for the better or for the worse. 00:13:11.355 --> 00:13:20.446 if what you want is something more along the lines of a home birth, a really low intervention birth, hire a midwife who is skilled in helping you get there. 00:13:20.635 --> 00:13:33.176 you know, I'm not saying that all OB-GYNs are like this and you can never have a great birth with an OBGYN.That's not what I'm saying, but look for somebody who's gonna support you and be able to help you get to the outcome that you actually want. 00:13:33.416 --> 00:13:38.015 I think that most women, pick their provider kind of by accident, right? 00:13:38.015 --> 00:13:39.936 Like think about how it actually happened for you. 00:13:40.166 --> 00:13:56.855 Maybe you got a positive test and you were totally thrilled, but somewhere in the first week or two you realized you needed to get a provider so you call somebody and maybe you just kind of called the practice that your sister goes to or the one that your insurance listed first or kind of, maybe it's the hospital that you drive past on your way to mass or your way to work. 00:13:56.855 --> 00:13:59.225 That's a very common way to choose a birth provider. 00:13:59.525 --> 00:14:08.795 And don't hear me wrong that like I'm trying to shame you for that if that was your experience, because I think that's a totally reasonable way to make that phone call, right? 00:14:08.795 --> 00:14:16.860 Like when you are eight weeks pregnant and you need a first appointment, and, and maybe you don't have experience in, choosing a birth provider. 00:14:16.860 --> 00:14:20.370 That's a totally reasonable first step to take. 00:14:20.620 --> 00:14:32.270 But the problem is that nobody ever tends to circle back around and tell you that the call you made at eight weeks pregnant was probably one of the most consequential decisions of your entire pregnancy and that you're totally allowed to revisit it. 00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:36.020 All right, so I'm telling you now, you are allowed to revisit it. 00:14:36.321 --> 00:14:37.940 And hear this too, okay? 00:14:37.940 --> 00:14:43.791 If you have already had a birth that did not go the way that you hoped, nothing I just said is about you specifically. 00:14:43.791 --> 00:14:51.440 It's not about your plan or your effort or even like that you really should have just like chosen a different provider or how much you wanted it, whatever. 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:55.760 Like this is a very complex thing that women get handed, right? 00:14:55.760 --> 00:15:06.450 It seems natural and normal to, call up a provider that you're just familiar with, but what you don't know that's underneath all of that is a system with a lot of complexity. 00:15:06.600 --> 00:15:21.250 We have to think about all of the things underneath of that, like insurance and provider bias and unit staffing and, the labor and delivery nurse that you're gonna

get handed that you have no idea who they are, and then you get quietly left like holding the outcome on the other end of that. 00:15:21.551 --> 00:15:29.350 So hiring a provider, while it might seem straightforward in the beginning, it's actually super consequential to how your birth is gonna go. 00:15:29.350 --> 00:15:30.940 It's really gonna impact things. 00:15:30.940 --> 00:15:35.440 And so I want you to be thinking about who is actually walking into that room with you. 00:15:35.740 --> 00:15:46.660 Ideally, you should write up a birth plan and be thinking about a birth plan as soon as you find out you're pregnant and then choose a provider that is gonna help you achieve that outcome, okay? 00:15:46.870 --> 00:15:54.730 So three things I want you to be thinking about when you are going to hire a provider, and they're separate, you can find out about all of these three things before you are in labor. 00:15:55.031 --> 00:15:57.670 The first one is your provider's practice pattern. 00:15:57.670 --> 00:16:10.821 So when you go shopping around for a provider, and yes, you should be shopping around, you should write up your birth plan, think about the things you want for birth, and then you should look around at different providers and different options, and then you should vet their practice patterns. 00:16:10.821 --> 00:16:11.571 This is a big one. 00:16:11.571 --> 00:16:16.940 So practice patterns are just like the accumulated habits of how someone does this work. 00:16:17.210 --> 00:16:20.510 When do they start typically talking about an induction? 00:16:20.811 --> 00:16:27.561 are they comfortable with a first time mom going to 42 weeks, or do they start talking about, you know, induction at 40 or 41 weeks? 00:16:27.821 --> 00:16:33.190 Do they say things like,"I will allow you to," or,"I will not allow you to." What do they do when labor slows down? 00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:34.510 What do they do during pushing? 00:16:34.630 --> 00:16:40.390 Do they see a long early labor as normal or do they feel like you need to augment that with Pitocin? 00:16:40.690 --> 00:16:43.240 None of that is gonna be written down anywhere, okay? 00:16:43.470 --> 00:16:48.360 But all of that is gonna be reflected in your labor and birth when your provider's in the room. 00:16:48.460 --> 00:16:51.430 So it's totally appropriate to ask them. 00:16:51.640 --> 00:17:08.171 I have another episode on questions that you should ask your birth provider before deciding to hire them, and that's really helpful, you know, like take that into your prenatal appointments, ideally towards the beginning of your pregnancy and start asking these questions to see what your provider's practice patterns are actually like. 00:17:08.471 --> 00:17:10.091 And I also want to be careful here. 00:17:10.091 --> 00:17:12.221 I'm not saying that providers are the enemy, right? 00:17:12.221 --> 00:17:13.480 Like I just wanna make that clear. 00:17:13.691 --> 00:17:15.371 I've worked alongside these people. 00:17:15.520 --> 00:17:18.101 I've seen some great OBs and some not so great OBs. 00:17:18.311 --> 00:17:30.941 I have watched OBs stay past the end of a 24-hour call shift because she promised a woman be there, she would be there because she wanted to see it through with the client or patient that she was with and she was. 00:17:30.941 --> 00:17:35.171 Like there are some really awesome OBs, but there's, like I said, a lot of complexity. 00:17:35.351 --> 00:17:48.941 A provider who spends most of their week managing high-risk pregnancies, running an induction schedule, you know, running to the OR really super quickly when something goes sideways, kinda develops the reflexes that work for that. 00:17:49.061 --> 00:17:53.141 And those reflexes can be genuinely lifesaving, genuinely helpful. 00:17:53.141 --> 00:17:56.201 I'm glad they're available when they're needed, but they're just not neutral. 00:17:56.201 --> 00:18:02.801 They do come into your labor space and your birth room with that person, with the provider. 00:18:02.831 --> 00:18:08.471 And those habits matter more than it seems like they should because the decisions in labor stack. 00:18:08.770 --> 00:18:12.281 Okay, the second thing that comes in the room with you, friend, is hospital policy. 00:18:12.551 --> 00:18:23.531 If you are birthing at a hospital or really anywhere, everywhere is gonna have their different set of like things that they abide by, even birth centers a lot of the time, especially if they're accredited, they have specific policies that they need to follow. 00:18:23.531 --> 00:18:24.490 It just looks different. 00:18:24.770 --> 00:18:32.461 But This is actually different from your particular provider, unless you're going with a home birth, then that, that whole situation looks a little bit different. 00:18:32.461 --> 00:18:40.681 But I think actually a lot of women who listen to this podcast do not do home birth, so I'd say probably the majority are giving birth at a hospital, or a birth center. 00:18:40.980 --> 00:18:48.750 And so this is gonna be different from like your doctor or your midwife when you were looking at birthing at a facility of some sort, right? 00:18:48.750 --> 00:18:50.881 And people mix those two things up a lot. 00:18:51.131 --> 00:19:02.331 Hospital policy is the stuff that the building decides, like, the hospital system decides that your provider has to abide by to keep their job. 00:19:02.541 --> 00:19:18.881 So things like whether or not you can eat in labor or whether you can have continuous monitoring, whether they have a tub and whether you can birth in the tub or not, things like that are hospital policy, and it is like way more systemic than necessarily just your individual provider. 00:19:18.881 --> 00:19:19.961 Policy is very real. 00:19:20.250 --> 00:19:22.561 Policy is also more flexible than it sounds. 00:19:22.561 --> 00:19:28.531 I do wanna say that because a lot of what gets presented to you as a rule is not really a

rule. 00:19:28.531 --> 00:19:29.791 Like there. 00:19:29.791 --> 00:19:31.801 It's not a legality, right? 00:19:31.881 --> 00:19:38.031 It matters for your provider and their job, but they can't make you or not make you do anything. 00:19:38.031 --> 00:19:40.581 Like that would go completely against medical ethics. 00:19:40.861 --> 00:19:47.311 And defaults can a lot of the time be changed by the person with prescribing privileges, which is to say like by your provider. 00:19:47.311 --> 00:20:01.951 So there is kind of a relationship here, but, but on average, your provider has to technically abide by hospital policy or the birth center policy, Which is exactly kind of why the policy question sits underneath the provider question. 00:20:02.230 --> 00:20:16.091 And then the third thing that comes into the room with you in a lot of situations, not every situation, but a lot of them, and honestly, this is one that like just, I wanna shout this from the rooftops because a lot of people do not consider this, is the call group. 00:20:16.391 --> 00:20:17.621 Here's what I mean by that, okay? 00:20:17.621 --> 00:20:23.591 in most, not all, but in most practices, you are not guaranteed the person that you have been seeing for nine months, all right? 00:20:23.591 --> 00:20:31.201 A lot of the time there's a rotation, and whoever is on call when you go into labor is who you get, and that very well may be somebody that you've already met. 00:20:31.500 --> 00:20:38.671 Some practices rotate you through all the people, and then you get to meet all the people, and then you get to be in labor with one of them. 00:20:38.971 --> 00:20:48.601 Some practices do not do that, and you've been seeing somebody for your whole pregnancy, and then you go into labor and you meet a total stranger who may be awesome and they may be terrible. 00:20:48.901 --> 00:20:54.191 It's kinda hard to take a gamble, for something that's that intimate and vulnerable, right? 00:20:54.191 --> 00:21:01.051 Especially when we know that our primal brain does not favor strangers, and strange, unfamiliar situations. 00:21:01.051 --> 00:21:01.921 We need to feel safe. 00:21:01.921 --> 00:21:04.181 So, you could totally do everything right. 00:21:04.181 --> 00:21:10.760 You could find a wonderful, aligned, curious provider who supports physiological birth, and thinks that your plan is great. 00:21:10.851 --> 00:21:29.541 And then if you're, like, at a hospital practice, for example, say that you go into labor on a Thursday night, and you're totally, like, ready to do this thing, and your provider has been like,"Yes, we can do this, that, and the other thing that are on your birth plan." And then you come face to face with a total stranger that you have never met before, that does these aforementioned things totally differently. 00:21:29.541 --> 00:21:45.451 Like, they follow policy way more to the book, and they have a totally different 15 years of bias and, way of practicing medicine under their belt, and they're not so kosher with the things that you had on your birth plan. 00:21:45.601 --> 00:21:47.071 I've totally watched this happen. 00:21:47.101 --> 00:21:56.701 I've heard birth stories of this happening, and I've also, like, watched a woman's face when she opened the door and it's just, like, somebody, she has no idea who it is, it's not who she expected. 00:21:56.941 --> 00:21:58.861 A lot of the time, it's not even explained. 00:21:59.051 --> 00:22:05.141 Some providers are really great about walking into the room and being like,"Hi, I am so-and-so. 00:22:05.141 --> 00:22:10.091 I'm gonna be the doctor taking care of you for the next 12, 24 hours. 00:22:10.271 --> 00:22:17.601 I know that I'm not the one that you saw during your pregnancy, but, like, you know, are very friendly and warm." And that's great when they're like that, but that's not always. 00:22:17.661 --> 00:22:22.551 And sometimes providers just walk into the room and they're like,"Hey, I'm gonna check you." And you're like,"Who are you? 00:22:22.551 --> 00:22:31.191 I've never seen your face before." So just something that you wanna be aware of, right, that could happen, and these are questions you wanna be asking when you are pregnant. 00:22:31.491 --> 00:22:34.371 So here is your homework, and here's what I want you to do this week, all right? 00:22:34.371 --> 00:22:36.471 So call the office. 00:22:36.471 --> 00:22:55.611 If you are not super early in your pregnancy, if you've already decided on a provider, call your office, and ask them straight out, like, who is in the call group, how many providers, what that rotation looks like, and whether you can schedule an appointment with each of them over the next couple of months, so that nobody in that group is a total stranger to you. 00:22:55.911 --> 00:23:08.291 If you are in a situation where there is a call group and where you don't know them yet, Or maybe if, like, you're not already familiar with the call structure, you should find out this information. 00:23:08.291 --> 00:23:18.781 You should find out if you were going to be working within a call structure and if you're not gonna switch providers at that point, you should find out how to familiarize yourself with all those providers. 00:23:18.981 --> 00:23:26.931 Ask what percentage of the time your provider actually attends her own patient's births, because sometimes this is a question we don't even know, like, to ask. 00:23:27.231 --> 00:23:35.391 Some providers will know how often they attend their own patients' births, and some practices are, are set up so that you truly get to know your person. 00:23:35.391 --> 00:23:39.941 And if that's the case, that's, like, genuinely a huge point in their favor, and you should keep that in mind. 00:23:40.241 --> 00:23:55.661 And then if the answer is like,"Well, there's, like, 12 of us and it kinda just depends," then you know something, like, either way, you know something very important about what you're planning

for, you know, whether that means you switch or you decide you're comfortable with that option, it's just something to know. 00:23:55.761 --> 00:23:58.431 you could end up with a stranger when you're in labor, right? 00:23:58.431 --> 00:23:59.661 And you should, you should be aware of that. 00:23:59.961 --> 00:24:18.161 All that to say, friends, I would highly recommend, when looking at this decision overall, that you just, like, know that those things are going to be present in the room with you, and that you decide what kind of birth you want before choosing a provider, with the understanding that this choice can be complex and it is, it's not the end all be all. 00:24:18.161 --> 00:24:18.911 Don't get me wrong. 00:24:18.911 --> 00:24:26.741 I have totally seen women have amazing births with a less than ideal provider situation, but you don't wanna be climbing an uphill battle. 00:24:26.931 --> 00:24:33.771 You do want to feel supported and safe and seen, and it's one of the, like, biggest differences in your pregnancy when you do. 00:24:34.071 --> 00:24:59.301 So, I would just highly encourage you to not take the decision lightly and to be thinking about a birth plan before you choose your provider, not the other way around, because if you don't choose a provider that's gonna support you in your birth plan, then I am so sorry to say it, friend, but chances are your birth plan is not gonna matter that much, or it is going to at least be a lot more challenging to execute, okay? 00:24:59.541 --> 00:25:01.911 That is it for this week's episode. 00:25:01.921 --> 00:25:08.591 I also just wanna encourage you, before we end this episode, that you can't always switch, okay? 00:25:08.591 --> 00:25:10.721 It's never too late to switch providers. 00:25:10.991 --> 00:25:24.671 I know that some of you are in very unique situations where you live somewhere really rural or you financially just, like, only you, you have insurance that covers exactly, like, one practice and you can't pay out of pocket for something like a home birth or a birth center. 00:25:24.881 --> 00:25:29.231 And if that's the situation you're in, like, I totally wanna be sensitive to that, okay? 00:25:29.471 --> 00:25:32.951 I know that I can kind of flippantly always say, like, it's never too late to switch. 00:25:32.981 --> 00:25:43.191 And as a general rule, I do think that's true, but I know that for, like, a minority of you, that isn't true, and it's actually way more challenging, way more complicated to switch. 00:25:43.491 --> 00:25:50.721 I do want to, like, encourage you, okay, I don't want you to walk away from this episode feeling totally discouraged because you're like,"Dang it, I don't have a great provider. 00:25:50.931 --> 00:25:52.011 My birth is ruined. 00:25:52.011 --> 00:25:59.411 That's, like, totally not what I'm saying." If the provider is fixed and something that you cannot change, everything else, surrounding your birth is still yours. 00:25:59.411 --> 00:26:01.421

Like, do still make a birth plan. 00:26:01.581 --> 00:26:03.831 Who else is in the room with you is your decision. 00:26:03.861 --> 00:26:18.681 I would highly recommend a doula if that's the situation that you're in, your husband knowing his job, when he goes into that room, knowing that hospital's actual written policies, what those are, so you can tell the difference between, like, a rule and a provider habit, that is yours. 00:26:18.891 --> 00:26:26.781 There are a lot of things that you can do, like how you labor at home before you go into the hospital, that might be, like, the single biggest advantage that you have. 00:26:26.781 --> 00:26:32.121 There are still several things that you can do, so I don't want you to walk away from this episode feeling discouraged. 00:26:32.261 --> 00:26:39.911 You can still do a lot in your favor to get you the birth that you want, even if the provider isn't optimal. 00:26:40.181 --> 00:26:52.011 But taking away that resistance, and, like, making sure that it's really an aligned fit is gonna be, like, the single most important thing that you can do, is having a great provider on your side, okay? 00:26:52.231 --> 00:26:57.721 And for most of you, even if you're late in your pregnancy, it is not too late to switch. 00:26:57.941 --> 00:27:05.241 I have had doula clients switch at, like, 39 and four, like, days before they gave birth, literally. 00:27:05.241 --> 00:27:12.471 I've also had a lot of women that I've encountered who are way, way nervous to switch late in their pregnancy, even if they know the provider's not a good choice. 00:27:12.771 --> 00:27:15.831 But then when they finally do switch to a better fit, like, they never regret it. 00:27:15.831 --> 00:27:27.791 It's kind of almost like that, like, when you don't wanna go to the gym because, like it feels really complicated, to, like, find childcare and, like, put all the pieces into place and then, like, actually get yourself to go. 00:27:27.791 --> 00:27:41.101 Like, it just, it feels intimidating or it feels like a lot, obviously, on a different scale for this type of a decision, but you finally get there and you work out and you're like,"I never regret that." That's kind of how I feel like switching providers to, to a good fit is. 00:27:41.101 --> 00:27:44.131 Like, I've never seen somebody regret that, even if it's late in pregnancy. 00:27:44.431 --> 00:27:48.181 Okay, friends, that is it for today's episode. 00:27:48.411 --> 00:27:54.711 Before we go, I do want to tell you about Wholly Confident Birth Course. 00:27:54.721 --> 00:28:13.861 my signature birth course that I teach, it's an online, self-paced birth course where, like, all of those things that you do have in your control that I just talked about, like hiring a doula, and your husband knowing his job, and knowing hospital policy, and how to advocate for yourself, you will learn all of those things inside of this birth course. 00:28:14.061 --> 00:28:22.941 It's over 10 hours of birth education spaced out in little micro lessons, so it's really easy to watch while you're driving or doing the dishes. 00:28:23.091 --> 00:28:30.171 Plus it also has like 130 plus page ebook that walks you through everything you need to know. 00:28:30.331 --> 00:28:40.751 And it has like actual tools that you can bring with you into your birth rooms, like how labor actually works, the hormones, the physiology, comfort measures in labor positions, how to choose a provider. 00:28:40.751 --> 00:28:46.221 It will walk you through, all the things, that will go way deeper than this one episode can. 00:28:46.521 --> 00:28:52.641 I built this birth course because when I was pregnant with my first daughter, Avila, I felt so stuck between worlds. 00:28:52.641 --> 00:29:05.451 As a Catholic woman trying to prepare for like a holistic natural birth experience, I felt like the Catholic world was totally silent about birth and the birth world was totally silent about Jesus. 00:29:05.451 --> 00:29:12.951 Everything that I found that was going to help me have the birth that I was envisioning had some kind of like new age spirituality attached to it. 00:29:12.951 --> 00:29:20.301 Or it was just like very bland and totally left out the spiritual side of birth, which is such a huge component of it, right? 00:29:20.301 --> 00:29:25.461 So this course is evidence-based and it's rooted in the Catholic faith all the way through. 00:29:25.761 --> 00:29:32.211 I have supported over 200 moms through this course now, which is just like mind blowing and amazing. 00:29:32.211 --> 00:29:34.221 And I'm so grateful for that. 00:29:34.321 --> 00:29:41.371 You know, all types of women planning hospital births and birth centers, home births, first babies, fifth babies, like all types of different situations. 00:29:41.641 --> 00:29:45.461 And I'm just grateful, to be able to say that now. 00:29:45.701 --> 00:29:51.191 It's so surreal to me and such an honor to me to have been able to walk people through birth preparation like that. 00:29:51.491 --> 00:29:56.456 If you have been circling the birth course for a while, let me just say now is a really good time to jump in. 00:29:56.726 --> 00:30:02.166 It is going to be discounted from 297 to 247, for the next week. 00:30:02.166 --> 00:30:07.566 And then we are going to close it off to the public and be making some updates. 00:30:07.746 --> 00:30:14.376 And we will be reopening it next month at probably a little bit of a higher price tag with all the updates included. 00:30:14.376 --> 00:30:20.106 And if you jump in now, you'll get all of those updates that are soon to come at a little bit of a lower price. 00:30:20.156 --> 00:30:26.066 So shameless plug, I do think it's a useful resource and it's, you know, less than most people spend on a stroller. 00:30:26.136 --> 00:30:34.516 If you're anything like me and you were like certain you needed a bougie$1,000 stroller for your first kid, which you have since gone on to sell and not use.

00:30:34.816 --> 00:30:39.016 But you get this birth course for life, including your next baby and the one after that. 00:30:39.116 --> 00:30:41.996 And so I think that it's, yeah, really valuable. 00:30:41.996 --> 00:30:43.796 I'm very proud of having this. 00:30:43.796 --> 00:30:46.046 So I just wanted to throw that out to you before the episode ended. 00:30:46.046 --> 00:30:46.346 Okay. 00:30:46.646 --> 00:30:49.226 Three things that I want you to actually do this week, okay? 00:30:49.526 --> 00:30:57.626 One, call your provider's office, find out who is in that call group, like I talked about, and how the rotation works if you are in a situation where there is a call group. 00:30:57.926 --> 00:31:08.116 That's just like a two minute phone call and it might be one of the highest value two minutes of your whole pregnancy if you are in a situation where you're in a practice where there is a call group, okay? 00:31:08.416 --> 00:31:13.216 Two, pick some questions that you're gonna take to your next appointment. 00:31:13.426 --> 00:31:19.336 Go listen to that 17 things to, ask your provider episode and pick a couple. 00:31:19.486 --> 00:31:25.386 My vote is asking for their primary cesarean rate and what, positions most of their patients push in. 00:31:25.386 --> 00:31:28.536 I think those are two really high impact things to ask your provider. 00:31:28.716 --> 00:31:30.246 Those two things are gonna tell you a lot. 00:31:30.366 --> 00:31:38.776 And then three, decide what you're gonna put on your birth plan and then take it to your next prenatal appointment and watch your provider's reaction. 00:31:38.986 --> 00:31:41.446 And then maybe even journal about how it felt afterwards. 00:31:41.446 --> 00:31:47.806 Like did you feel really at peace and really, accepted and even celebrated? 00:31:47.926 --> 00:31:53.026 Or did you feel maybe just like tolerated or made to feel like a little bit of an inconvenience? 00:31:53.026 --> 00:31:56.116 Did it feel like anything you said was disappointing to your provider? 00:31:56.356 --> 00:32:06.026 And do that while it's fresh, you know, not just what she said out loud, but also how it felt and how her reaction or his reaction was You'll want that note later. 00:32:06.266 --> 00:32:09.356 And then just sit with what you learned for a week before you even decide anything. 00:32:09.356 --> 00:32:18.246 You don't have to make a decision right away, but it's gonna be valuable information for you for the rest of your pregnancy and help you have the birth that you actually want to have, okay? 00:32:18.546 --> 00:32:30.786 Just a reminder that God did not mess up when he made your body okay, you were fearfully and wonderfully made, your body was made to give birth this baby and he didn't design this birth to be ruled by fear and anxiety. 00:32:31.086 --> 00:32:38.886 Half of getting fear out of that room is knowing ahead of time who is gonna be in that room with you and how they're gonna be supporting you, all right? 00:32:38.886 --> 00:32:42.156 So it's an important decision and I just wanna encourage you in it. 00:32:42.426 --> 00:32:55.466 Next week we're gonna be talking about the four things that you can actually control when it comes to birth because, provider choice is one of them, but there are also some other things that you can do while you are pregnant to help you have the birth outcome that you want. 00:32:55.716 --> 00:32:59.346 Once you see the other three things, I think that a lot is gonna click into place for you. 00:32:59.346 --> 00:33:01.206 So that is all for this week. 00:33:01.236 --> 00:33:03.336 Thank you so much for being here, my friend. 00:33:03.366 --> 00:33:04.956 Truly, you're the reason why I do this. 00:33:04.956 --> 00:33:05.766 I am praying for you. 00:33:05.976 --> 00:33:10.026 I'm praying for your motherhood, for your birth, and I will see you back here next week.