TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Lows, highs, and the rough stuff.
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The impact that impacts trust.
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Carrying the load, manipulation, boundaries, and covert contracts.
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The emergency poop story, the erectile dysfunction, lows, highs, and the rough stuff.
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Welcome to the Mormage podcast, guys.
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And I think that you all need to hear something very, very valuable.
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I was on the phone.
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Everything you say is valuable, baby.
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Thank you, baby.
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I was on the phone with a man today, and uh, this is not uncommon to hear something like do you hear this a lot, baby?
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Where people are saying, I mean, and I know it won't always be perfect, or I know we'll go through things, or I know life is gonna happen, and I know we're gonna fight.
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You ever hear things like that?
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Oh, all the time.
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You guys are wrong.
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This is what society's conditioned you to believe.
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And you know, I believe even on this podcast, I think we've probably said something along those lines at some point in this journey.
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Um, but well, and like in the grand scheme of things, all of that is true.
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But the the way that people say it is like it's gonna happen all the time.
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I know couples fight.
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No, we don't fight.
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When we fight, we fight, but it's only like once a year, and it doesn't last very long, and then we're friends again two hours later.
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More minutes.
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Like the the whole point is though, that you you guys are speaking the way that the world has conditioned you to believe that you're going to have problems.
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You're accepting the in other words, something that we teach.
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I said this on a coaching call yesterday, like normal.
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I say this all the time.
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Stop breathing death into your marriage.
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Stop breathing death into your life.
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The way you speak matters.
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And you know, think about the context of this person that I'm on the phone with.
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He's wanting to learn more.
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He's read my book, he wants to join the program, and he says, you know, I want so much more.
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I want to be this new man, I want to create this new marriage, I want to create this life, but I know we'll have problems.
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What are you doing, you guys?
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When you talk like this, you create the problems in your mind, like you essentially enable or allow them to happen.
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We see this with all kinds of things, guys.
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When you're talking about uh, you know, your insecurities and the fears that you have, the way that you speak matters.
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That's why they come out as accusations when you just need to feel loved.
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The way that you speak matters.
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Think about that.
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I like I said to Catherine today, actually, I just I really miss you today.
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Okay.
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If I would have said, you're not here, we don't spend another.
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You're never here, you never talk to me, you always ignore me.
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Yeah, would I be getting what I want?
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No.
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She finishes creating more space, actually, if you talk to somebody like that.
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Correct.
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So you know, essentially she went and finished her meal.
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She didn't rush to meet me.
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So you need does my baby need a hug?
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And couldn't give him a big hug after.
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Actually, I had like five bites and like chugged a protein drink so that I could go hug my husband, just so you're aware, baby.
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I didn't, I didn't even know.
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She did tell, you did tell me.
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I needed to take the edge off, or I wasn't gonna give a hug.
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I was starving.
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I was at the point of almost passing out.
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But I like scarfed down my food, chugged a protein drink, and then I came straight to you.
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That's right.
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You guys, this this matters in I can't even tell you how many aspects of life.
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There are some of you that are also doing this a little bit backwards.
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You know, I was speaking to a man uh, I think two weeks ago on a coaching call, talking about um he's having a hard time connecting with his wife.
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And I and I actually went round about a few questions and got to the fact that, okay, cool.
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So you're dating your kids, and what could what does that look like?
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And what kind of time could you be spending?
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And he went on to talk about how great he is with his kids.
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So I understand the breathing
Load full transcript
life there, okay, except for you're not allowing life in when somebody else is talking to you, breathing life.
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And we had to walk him through that, how you could be another level with that.
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Here's the other thing he actually breathed death into it after, and it won't matter.
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I'm so connected with my kids already.
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We have such a great relationship, but my wife, boom, right there again, you're pushing her away with you're not talking to her in this moment, but you're talking to yourself like this is the problem I'm going to face, even if you are facing a real problem.
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Okay.
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We were just talking about something uh a minute ago with Gasp, and I said, This is what's going on.
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And that's that's we're not talking about death here, where it's like facts, okay, we got to make a plan.
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That's it.
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Like the way that you talk matters.
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If you start complaining and sitting in it, you start becoming that victim again, you're preparing yourself to be the victim.
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In other words, you're preparing yourself to have the exact thing you don't want.
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Or another thing that we used to say, I don't know if we said in a while, is you're creating your own chaos, right?
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Most of these things, uh they're not even really happening in your life.
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You know, like you want so much more, but your mindset matters.
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The what was the book, The Secret, way back when?
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I used to think that was like hocus pocus bullshit.
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And you know, not that I've reread the book or anything like that, but like at the end of the day, affirmation statements work.
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If we know that we can tear ourselves down and our life can go the way we don't want it to go, you know.
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For example, one that's very commonly known, if you don't know, is like talking about yourself like you're beautiful, right?
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A lot of people don't.
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You look in the mirror and you critique and you never feel good about yourself.
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Do you have issues that you need to change with your body or or whatever when you're looking in the mirror?
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Maybe.
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But that doesn't mean you're an ugly person just because of the way that you feel about yourself.
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And the way that you talk about yourself will make you feel worse about yourself.
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Well, I think so.
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I no longer believe
in the law of attraction, the secret, just for personal conviction reasons.
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However, I do believe that life and death is in the power of a tongue, and power of the tongue.
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That's biblical.
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And so even if you don't believe in manifesting, which I don't believe in any longer, um, you can still speak positively.
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It doesn't necessarily need to be like a positive affirmation statement that's gonna manifest something.
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But just think about what Cass said.
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Like the the way that you speak is gonna come from the way that you think.
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I I don't that's not exactly what you're saying, but it's just cyclical.
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Yeah.
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So if you feel or think a certain way and you speak that way, then it's gonna it's gonna affirm the way that you feel or think.
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Whereas if you if you think that you're ugly and you start telling yourself that you're beautiful, maybe you'll start to see the positive.
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Maybe you'll start to see because even if you are ugly, let's let's just let me validate that for a second.
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Look in the mirror and say you're ugly.
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Well, is everything ugly?
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Do you have so many men have beautiful eyelashes?
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I don't know where you guys get off getting those men's eyelashes.
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But like, do you have nice eyelashes?
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Do you have a beautiful color eyes?
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Do you have nice full lips?
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Do you like, I don't know, do you have a dimple?
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Like, what can you see on your face?
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So if you think you're ugly, okay, go ahead and think that.
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But then why don't you look at all of the things about you?
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There's no way that every single feature is ugly.
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And if you focus on the one that you think maybe isn't ugly, then you'll that will bleed into other things.
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You'll see your eyelashes and then you'll be like, wow, the color of my eyes really is beautiful.
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I've never actually looked because you think you're ugly.
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So you never actually looked at the color of your own eyes before to think about how beautiful those green flecks and the brown eyes or the blue, the bright blue, whatever it is.
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And that's all about the way that you think or feel, and then the way that you speak, and then going back to the way that you think or feel to compound that in a positive way.
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And your actions that go with.
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I mean, a lot of you could change your hair if you don't feel like you're pretty or handsome.
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Like, and I want to be clear about something.
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I don't believe that you can speak life and it will manifest.
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I don't believe in that.
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What I'm saying is this when you speak it, you think it.
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When you think it, you feel it.
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When you when you have all of this going on, your actions will usually follow suit.
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Okay.
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And that's why we see when people speak negatively, they stay in their pain and nothing changes.
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That's also why when you look for false, like if you look for the win and you try to take that praise.
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I'll say, for example, a man often in my program will say, you know, my wife started talking me.
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We she just opened up so much.
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And I'm like, Yeah, but now you're relying on her to have this new outcome that's exactly what you wanted, instead of what did you say, man?
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How did you act?
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How many times did you get rejected and not push her away?
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How many times did you show up as this new man that invited her in to talk to feel safe enough to open up to you?
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If you praise that man with announcing what the win is there, that man can do more of what was working and identify what was not working, and he can actually create more of the exact thing that he wanted her to open up.
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Okay?
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So you don't manifest shit, okay?
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Catherine talking biblical, sure, God can, but it's just like when we talk about in this prayer challenge I'm doing.
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If you if you pray, you're not gonna just change it.
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If God wills it, it will change.
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But in every one of those prayers, there's something else in your flesh, in your earthly uh body that you need to do something to go with.
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So we're going to breathe life with the prayer, and we're gonna speak to God with the prayer, but you better not just sit there and wait.
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You better do.
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Today's is really great when it's about change me first.
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That exact thing.
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Some of you guys pray to change your spouse's heart instead of saying, Can you look at mine too?
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Which is one of the lines in the prayer.
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While you're at it, will you look at mine?
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Guys, it matters all of it.
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Your thoughts, your words, your feelings, and most importantly, the actions that come from all of those.
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Because unfortunately, most of us, until we start to figure this out, we actually act in our feelings, backed up by the validation of the words, which is where anger would come from, just as one example.
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And we try to push all those things out that we don't actually mean or say things that we don't want, and we we do, we breathe death into our life.
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So I want you guys to think about that.
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See you next time.
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Bye.