ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Frank Labudda, the third musketeer was finally able to join the conversation. What a conversation it was. We discussed the recent mass shooting in Orlando, FL and the implications it has for what it means to be an authentic man.
English
United States

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00Harry buddy Brian King here again welcome to the on purpose man we're doing a little differently this time on the previous shows we had live on blab but unfortunately internet bandwidth in the Canary Islands where Frank lives was not cooperating with us so we're doing it for us today and he no doubt is a wealth of wisdom and energy to our Dynamic here so the way today's episode of saniflo friend talk about his history his memory is a bad relationship with his father and he's also going to share how she came up with the idea that brought three of us together to begin with and then we're going to segue into the topic for so let's begin with Frank password of this idea of yours come from
00:00:55will an initial start point because we talked about like a cheap apartments and we talked about maybe I should do something for you
00:01:27just on that I'm on the way we started to to discuss and I made each other again but I never get it online
00:01:56it is funny how many interesting things come from just stay in the moment conversation with another lady at a week later in the end she said some days before he on that line and so I'm at okstate on the same Mission so so electric or working with women you know me trying to apply by putting three of our heads together and you had a term the new man
00:02:51when did the term I came up with was the unconditional man but all really boils down to the fact that we think that what it means to be a man especially in Western Society is on an evolutionary Trend towards increase volume bility inauthenticity
00:03:10exactly another men that are seeking to do this. Just don't have the role models around them to show them how it's done so we decided to come together and how to create this momentum or create a program eventually showman the way to do this anymore if everybody really an end in itself and it's no need for that so much for our self if we if we relate I am our purpose in life our our dinner lineman for the perfect with our higher
00:04:11I think also this is there a spiritual into the flu what we need
00:04:39if we show them that there are new paradigms but then new
00:04:47it's meant to be a man or what is meant to be a businessman
00:04:54oh we doing business today
00:04:59it's go into the flow
00:05:01absolutely almost melted down you don't half a decade ago because of that old competitive Doggy Dogg Paradigm and now the Next Generation the Millennials is demanding more they want more purpose they want more accountability now they want something else and that's when did clarify what I meant by role-modeling I have no role models of men that I saw that I thought were genuine that were heartfelt I have no desire to be them I just have a desire to walk a similar path But ultimately ultimately it's my journey it's going to be me doing the walking so I think that's why we're trying to do here what are the things I did in our first episode was our relationship with our own fathers and Frank is that anything that you want to share about that
00:05:56well my father was a real
00:06:00are you working hard for the company he's working and I'm bringing the The Province to the title loan so not that normal social like
00:06:31it was my bad for us
00:06:35and of course I have been stuttering for 30 years and he didn't understand what is Arc
00:06:44well I'm making coaching he don't understand even
00:06:52and I feel I still I still want to understand me
00:07:05roller only doing something there and and losing your money and losing your time
00:07:13I think we all
00:07:20I'm looking for the
00:07:22what is it called in English
00:07:39how are things sometimes depending on how about that because they don't get yeah and one thing I think Steve and I talked about it remember which which episode of disgusting and is sometimes you need to let go of that because it's just not there especially when you see how quickly Society is evolving the generational Gap gets wider so quickly that it can be harder and harder for you to ask your for beerus to embrace accept the load understand what the heck you're doing
00:08:24and I saw it it was really liberating I was able to make peace with not getting my father's validation in realizing that I didn't mean it
00:08:37and spread my wings after that one year olds because her father was my best friend
00:08:55the same what you said to me
00:08:58Electro that
00:09:02ESO soul
00:09:06conscious now that that Young Generation
00:09:23oh it's really
00:09:26really nice to see that that that new generation, what about
00:09:40in that consciousness
00:09:47yeah the younger kids don't can't grow up with the privilege of denial like we did when we were kids because they grew up in the 24-hour news cycle and everything in their face
00:09:59so they're very aware of this world that we live in Shrewsbury very young the news that I'll suggest how free information is I don't mean just you know cost-wise I mean that's available all the time. That you see how much more global environment and then when I saw when I was when I was a kid I remember two things when I was young there were two countries in the world that was the United States and Russia and let you know that wasn't a whole lot of other than that
00:10:46Spanx on
00:10:49black and white the good ones and the bad ones right
00:11:01campaigning going on right now this year but there's so much more available Brian was you Frank for saying about Role Models is that I take when when we are ecstatic when we're vulnerable and when we are by ourselves our purpose when we look to find that that each one of us is going to have our own individual roll you know I look at the pictures that each one of us run the type of person that we do and we're all very unique but we also kind of have the same
00:11:46commitment to being a FedEx in being vulnerable and being real you know and I think that's that's a new Dynamic instead of there being one way there are many ways not one way is necessarily better than another
00:12:04I think I even though it's important to see that this is where I have to be embedded in the society
00:12:20accept and respect you know
00:12:43how to be single soldier and and or about 7 or something like that and whether Stella TV is a city
00:13:08you know that's that's no mechanic who don't like to be mechanic
00:13:14iconic like a one-man told me he was in the car I don't know what is it called
00:13:29yeah and he knew exactly where to give a hit
00:13:37show me what the clients because I look for it in 2 days
00:14:10it'll be paid me for two debts
00:14:13you don't you don't know how to write
00:14:18Fallout who was it that said I think there is I don't remember which artist it was but they sold the painting for whatever it was chunk of change the
00:14:33comment was no you didn't pay me for this painting paid me for the lifetime that that led to be able to do this painting and I like that
00:14:45even even find a washing machine
00:14:52like an hours because you are using now is your not paying me for the advice you're paying me to save you all the pain and anguish it takes to learn that right right yeah I had to go through in order to get yeah yeah not have to go through it but I having to go to the
00:15:28hell that I went through it it's unfortunate but we're talking about pain and Agony and you know before we jumped on the call today Steve was reflecting upon the the mass shooting that just took place in Orlando where is anybody's guess a young man of Middle Eastern descent decided to take a semi-automatic rifle went to a gay nightclub and killed upwards of 50 people
00:16:02and be the aftershocks of that are still being felt
00:16:07and because it was a gay club it again raises that question of what does it mean to be a man as there's this
00:16:20one of the many insults that before about as the girly man you know you're too sensitive or you're too weak and you know the reality is you know what we've been talking about in all of our episodes and just amongst ourselves in general is the idea that what it means to be human and also what it means to be a man exist on I can tell you it's not your man or you're not
00:16:43it's as Frank was saying you're the individual but you're also part of the community you know there's some saying this but there's also some difference
00:16:52so where would you like to take that topic Steve
00:16:57what is a couple things to go off of that first of all
00:17:01directions a couple of things that an article two articles that I read yesterday as well as the video and and to Gossage kind of the Middle Eastern thing
00:17:13and some that we talked about earlier with the United States versus Russia is only have those M&T thing going on that you know that we see people as black or white and I'm not talking race but that you know
00:17:30there are a lot of people who are really upset about everybody and I mean literally everybody that's in the Middle East or from the Middle East that's completely unfair and the video that I watched yesterday was a series of maybe 12 different Muslims in this case they all talked about how different and unique each of them was that there was a position in there there was a Muslim
00:18:05it was just a lot of variety within that culture in and we tend to think of of the margin of the groups that they're all the same which is completely not true and I think you know he said the same thing with the shooting in the nightclub is that we
00:18:24have a tendency to group all these people together that we think you know what a gay or homosexual her or whatever but there is a long that continue on and off a lot of variety and I think that personally I think that Variety in that diversity and the different perspective and that we really miss out when we need to limit it to just be black and white and I think it's an opportunity for us to look within and to see where we stand on the matter and you know how do we react to it
00:19:05a friend of mine on on Facebook asks you know when we heard the news that there was a shooting in his nightclub in that 5049 people technically got were killed on that
00:19:22you know what one way and then on the way heard them that it was a gay nightclub and I did Lea react differently and change and
00:19:36to be honest it did change for me and Amanda made it even more sad because it was you know that it wasn't just kind of random thing but it was at Target in Peru
00:19:47I just think that kind of enmity in that that uncomfortableness that we have with people that are different from us you know there's really a bad thing I think we can really start to open her eyes in to see the humanity in the Common Thread that goes through each of us here also for your time and Island which is worried I'm enough holidays are coming football
00:20:33when to use literally have a Howitzer build up and I know those things and they really can can
00:20:44dancing experience in in Germany with the time State they don't contact
00:21:17what do people with that weather
00:21:23Village witches which it where are they are they singing instead of trying to reach out and connect with the larger Community is what you have some of the major cities that have no Chinatown and Little Italy and you have you have people that have lived there their entire lives and some of these areas are so big and you have everything you need there's no real need to go beyond that and they don't learn the language of the large population because they've managed to make a small world for themselves but they don't eat you
00:22:04I mean regardless of nationality we go back to high school you know you had that for me that they kind of new wavers of the punks or whatever and you know where the artists in Yonder there's not a whole lot of them in a mixing between different kind of devise
00:22:50ways of being and I think that you know I can probably look at that and just about any
00:22:56grouping a class ring that that goes on but we see the world through our own lens and we're comfortable with people that see they have the same ones as if they're using
00:23:09show me to. Normal again which we talked in the beginning the Norms of the group or rain during favoring safety at the expense of growth you want to keep things so familiar
00:23:35that you don't have to risk your ideas being question you know these things that you latched on to all these years you get into your own little group thing you know which is basically I don't hang around people that agree with me and any pay Outsiders are dangerous weed a lot them away every single day
00:24:03yeah buddy for my teachers
00:24:08yeah right
00:24:12so what do we do with this gentleman made that the fact that we are living in a world where there are some people that really want to grow they really want to reach out they want to make a difference but then you have these other groups of people that are so
00:24:27caught up in her own world view so caught up and protecting the way they see things that they go out of their way to cause pain or the other people who I just saying hey I just want us to understand one another I just want us to to learn from one another and here you are telling me that I shouldn't have right now I should die I'm a wimp you know whatever else they come up with where do we go from here how do we address this now that I've given you over the years I've been given plenty of opportunity to to look within and it's a he and I do I do I see
00:25:14other nice however that other nurse may be as a threat to me or do I see it as an opportunity and to be honest I mean at times I definitely see it as a threat then I want to sing for me very frequently as is her or analytical or and honestly that part of me I'm much more comfortable I'm a creative person than I am around the the more rigid but there's an awful lot so that I can learn from you know
00:25:50the more straightened Arrow type of person my my father-in-law is very much that way and we don't see eye-to-eye I hardly ever there's an awful lot of wisdom that that's available there that when I do it out and then you know lyrics. Community unit our families and poor neighbors and go to church with her immediate circle event want to have an impact with people you don't have any interaction with
00:26:37please if we East do that you know can have a ripple effect that you know I'm starting out that's one of the reasons why we are in Greater ripple effect on on the culture and continue I've tried to understand what these guys do when they try to explain it to me I'll get it but here's the thing I still realize it Engineers have a purpose in society
00:27:14so if I were to say man that stuff sounds boring all that sounds stupid and I believe that my take on things was the way it is
00:27:25you know so there was a big sense of self-importance that we really need to unlearn
00:27:31sorry say I hate math but I am I glad for my account otherwise I'd be in trouble I don't understand understand medicine but I'm grateful for my doctor in all those things they serve a purpose get it or not and I can Embrace and support those people and what they do and I have no doubt that and I read this and it in an article someplace that you know all you guys that are in a gay bashing or whatever when your fancy suits why do the research and see how many gays were involved in designing that suit hey ya know maybe not maybe not but you know maybe it maybe somewhere but it's a very interesting question
00:28:18in all that you don't realize I was watching a you know after Orlando you saw this cap and said you know proud American or whatever the tag inside said made in China it really causes us to be constantly aware of where do our priorities actually lie you know how we pump our fists and giving you a false patriotism or we put my money where my mouth is
00:28:46right you know and I think one of the things that that brought the three of us together is that we're committed to walking or talk
00:28:55you know not just pointing our fingers and saying you should do this and these people should change but we're really looking to to be part of that change recognizing you know we individually in to get uncomfortable sometimes you know they are being isn't
00:29:16I like a man and you know you all you got to do is live like I do but the even that were all trying to grow in a while trying to expand our awareness and and
00:29:27we are on our way being interacting with people and with herself
00:29:34if it involves being sang absolutely track you were going to say
00:29:59Asphalt 8
00:30:04was an English sticking around and
00:30:18and one is pulling out
00:30:33people first real look at that guy's is
00:30:42what do you do with that
00:31:06it's going on so I said I think this thing what you said Brian before I will wear it
00:31:16how much Road models
00:31:36this moment
00:31:46the thing which is which is near what you see
00:31:57so that's the thing I think we have to
00:32:03I like also the speech of of Nelson Mandela when he got president let's see what it says if you do something special if you out into your greatness
00:32:17automatically get the loudest with the others to do the same to you speaking about that
00:32:35wow something more
00:32:44because the environment is also taking the information at this so we can make
00:32:55In This Moment 2
00:33:04good morning
00:33:12and she is Nelson Mandela was saying that when you stand out there in a very unique way you're giving others an invitation to do the same and I think that's what the three of us are looking to do as well not wear in the 90s
00:33:37I think it's a permission not only the invitation can this be okay this can work but you can be happy
00:33:54yeah you can live this way in the world will not come to an end
00:33:58and then you invite them to join you in that as well and the reason why we do these broadcast the reasons why we started the on purpose Man Group in Facebook is to invite other men to have this conversation was talking about then hopefully it will begin to Blossom and spread and before you know it this shift that we see checking place anyway that we are embracing set of resisting it can begin to 2 Shift Society in a much better way
00:34:33yeah I once had that had the guy he was a bricklayer
00:34:48criminal you made one question
00:34:53okay if we coming through the area of Ecuador Aquarius now
00:35:01I know what what was in the area of of of of PCS at what is making a break lighter
00:35:32ideas but then they hear it maybe on the radio arena in the podcast helping right and so it's spreading the word
00:35:49what form of spreading the word so let's continue to spread the word Steve thanks again Frank I'm so glad that you are finally able to find the right combination of technology and internet in the conversation and show us what it means to bring your unique man to the world
00:36:23itsakyo

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