Full Transcript for What Makes a Client Think, “You’re the One”?

so the idea was that now people weren't just simply seeing an attorney or a law practice, they were seeing the human being behind it. 00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:58.240 And I thought, okay, I get that, right? 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:03.360 I can absolutely see the value in that, especially in legal services. 00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:06.240 I mean, think about a typical law firm website. 00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:10.719 What you're seeing is their practice areas, professional headshots. 00:03:11.120 --> 00:03:14.400 Everything has this very formal feel and look to it. 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:22.000 And so, yes, seeing this attorney outside that traditional professional context might make her feel more approachable. 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:26.960 And if I happen to love flying too, maybe we immediately have something in common. 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:35.840 But the thing that I kept coming back to was this Does knowing that she flies planes tell me whether she's the attorney that I want representing me? 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:42.479 Because there are really two different layers to the decisions that we make when we hire an expert. 00:03:42.719 --> 00:03:44.800 The first one is capability. 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:47.840 And that is like, can this person actually do the job? 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:53.039 That's where we look at expertise, credentials, results, testimonials, case studies. 00:03:53.280 --> 00:04:00.080 We read their content, we scan through their websites, we're on their social media scanning for evidence of that. 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:10.719 We might even eventually go on a consultation and try to decide or reach a conclusion of is this the person that I want to be doing work with? 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:17.759 But the thing that we need to also think about is our ideal buyers, they're very well informed. 00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:19.439 They're going to do their due diligence. 00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:24.240 They're not just looking at you, they're also looking at three or four other people. 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:29.439 And this is where the second layer also starts to matter. 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:34.399 The second layer that we use to make a buying decision is fit. 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:36.639 Is this the right person for me? 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:38.639 Do I trust their approach? 00:04:38.879 --> 00:04:40.959 Does their approach feel right for me? 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:43.199 Do I feel like I'm in good hands, right? 00:04:43.279 --> 00:04:50.560 Is this someone that I can actually see having by my side, reaching that result or that solution or removing that problem? 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:56.319 And of course, we're not going to sit down with a checklist and consciously answer these questions. 00:04:56.639 --> 00:05:03.600 But what we do, and more specifically, what our brain does is pick up on a bunch of signals. 00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:14.000 As we are reading or scanning their website or reading their emails, and maybe even during that consultation, we are scanning for fit. 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:23.759 And little by little, or sometimes very quickly, we form this feeling, this opinion, or this impression about whether this is the right person for us. 00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:26.399 I experienced this myself years ago. 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:30.480 My husband and I were trying to buy a house back in 2021. 00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:35.360 And this was in a housing market where everything was really, really crazy. 00:05:35.600 --> 00:05:39.600 Homes were disappearing almost as quickly as they were being listed. 00:05:39.759 --> 00:05:45.839 Multiple offers were being placed on a house on the same day that the house was listed. 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:52.399 And the house that we ended up buying actually, people had left an offer before even seeing the house. 00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:55.759 That was like the normal thing that was happening back in 2021. 00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:07.759 So we started talking to several realtors, and one of them actually came to our house, sat down with us, and he started asking questions outside of like what kind of house you're looking for. 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.600 He was asking us questions like, Why are you even moving? 00:06:11.759 --> 00:06:14.639 And why are you moving to this particular neighborhood? 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:16.560 And why are you moving now? 00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:22.319 So during that conversation, I told him that I had lived in the area that I'm trying to move back to. 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:32.720 And part of the reasons that I wanted to move back was because my parents were there and my mom at the time was battling stage four cancer, and I wanted to be closer to her. 00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:38.480 And from there, after that conversation, he started explaining how he works with clients. 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:41.360 He talked about his approach to finding the right home. 00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:54.319 He explained that sometimes, especially in a competitive market that we were in, he would encourage his clients to include a letter with their offer explaining why they were interested in that particular house. 00:06:54.480 --> 00:07:00.240 Now, by the end of that conversation, my husband and I both knew that this is our guy. 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:02.879 And here's what's really fascinating about this. 00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:12.399 Even though we both felt that he's very empathetic, he's trustworthy, and he really cares about his clients, of course, he never told us any of that. 00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:17.920 He never said, listen, I'm very empathetic towards my clients or I care about my clients. 00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:19.519 He didn't need to. 00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:24.319 Just having that half an hour with him was enough for us to experience those things. 00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:30.879 In fact, I remember walking away from that conversation, believing something really, really specific about him. 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:43.600 I

believe that even if we fell in love with a particular house that he thought was wrong for us, he would have kept us from putting an offer on that house, even if it meant he was going to lose that sale. 00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:46.079 Again, he never said any of that. 00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:53.120 That was the conclusion I had reached based on the conversation and the signals that he was giving us through that conversation. 00:07:53.360 --> 00:07:53.920 Right. 00:07:54.160 --> 00:07:59.360 So here's the other part of that story that I want to make sure that I don't forget to talk about. 00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:05.360 Someone else could have met that exact same realtor and thought, no, this guy's not for me. 00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:09.279 They might have found our realtor very soft and not for him. 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:11.040 And that's exactly the point. 00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:13.519 Fit is not universal. 00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:21.600 The very thing that makes one buyer think this is exactly who I want to work with can make another buyer think this person's not for me. 00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:24.240 And that is not necessarily a problem. 00:08:24.480 --> 00:08:27.759 In fact, that's what good positioning should help happen. 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:30.720 It should make fit easier to recognize. 00:08:30.959 --> 00:08:35.120 Which brings me back to the personal branding conversation. 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:44.240 Because I really do believe that when it comes to fit, because that's what we're trying to do, where we're trying to build a strong personal brand. 00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:47.840 We're not trying to communicate that we're capable. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:51.440 We're trying to communicate that I'm your type of person. 00:08:51.679 --> 00:09:01.440 But the way that we go about it is really backward because we've started assuming that creating human connection requires revealing more of our personal lives. 00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:08.240 But here's the thing: I can know almost nothing about your private life and still feel like I know you. 00:09:08.399 --> 00:09:15.759 And I can know a tremendous amount about your personal life and still have no idea whether I want to work with you. 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:27.200 And the reason is because the kind of personal, and I'm putting quotation around personal, that matters in a buying decision isn't necessarily how much of your life I've seen. 00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:32.159 It's whether I've seen enough of you to recognize whether there's fit. 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:34.559 And here's the good news. 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:39.279 Very often, the version of you is already embedded in work itself. 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:44.320 You just haven't recognized it as something worth marketing or worth talking about. 00:09:44.639 --> 00:09:49.600 I saw this in my own business when I started my training and consultation business. 00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:57.519 I intuitively this something that most of the marketing consultants and coaches that I knew at the time weren't doing. 00:09:57.840 --> 00:10:03.600 So if someone came to me wanting help growing their business, I would map everything out for them. 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:19.039 I would, after understanding what they're experiencing and understanding exactly what they're trying to achieve, I would tell them, okay, here's where you are, here's where you're trying to get to, and here's what I think it'll take to get you there. 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:21.600 And here's roughly how long it's gonna take. 00:10:21.759 --> 00:10:26.320 And these are the milestones that we need to hit along the way to be able to get you there. 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:32.960 So I didn't simply tell people trust the process and say, you know, here's my methodology. 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:36.639 It's gonna take us three months, and I promise I'm gonna get you there. 00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:38.480 I showed them the path. 00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:54.159 I showed them an actual visual path that was specific and personalized to where they were and where they wanted to go with all the milestones, all the dates attached, all the activities, all the higher level activities that we were gonna do. 00:10:54.399 --> 00:11:00.559 Now, at the time when I was doing this, I didn't think there was something particularly interesting about what I was doing. 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:02.799 It was simply how my brain worked. 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:09.840 And the reason is because before starting my consultation business, I had spent years as a project manager. 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:18.960 That experience had trained me to take something really big and complicated, and sometimes something that's very overwhelming, and turn it into something executable. 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:26.799 So naturally, I brought that, that way of thinking and that way of approach into my own consultation and coaching business. 00:11:27.120 --> 00:11:32.480 But eventually I realized that that was one of my biggest differentiators. 00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:36.480 This was partly the reason that people wanted to work with me. 00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:53.840 And so when I realized that, I started making it more visible in the conversations that I had on my website, on my sales page, trying to explain that this is the way that I'm going to treat your future vision, your future business, or the version of the business that you want to experience. 00:11:54.159 --> 00:12:01.679 And so for someone who's, let's say, analytical, organized, outcome-driven, that mattered a lot. 00:12:01.919 --> 00:12:12.480 And also for someone who was simply exhausted by working with different coaches and not getting results and being told to trust the process, it mattered even more. 00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:15.759 My project management background was a personal thing. 00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:17.919 It was a personal thing from my background. 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:23.279 But it was personal in a way that affected

the client's experience. 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:25.519 And that's the point that I'm trying to make here. 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:31.440 That distinction is where I think some of the richest parts of your personal brand are hiding. 00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:36.480 It might be a previous career that changed the way you approach your work today. 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:43.360 It might be the things that you've experienced that shaped what you value, what you believe, even your personality. 00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:47.840 It might be the problems that you face and how you went about solving them. 00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:52.799 It might also be just a natural strength that you bring into every client engagement. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:13:00.240 It might be 20 years of doing the work and developing a very strong belief about how the work should or shouldn't be done. 00:13:00.559 --> 00:13:06.559 It could be the value that you refuse to compromise on or the hills that you're willing to die on. 00:13:06.720 --> 00:13:08.080 It's about your judgment. 00:13:08.159 --> 00:13:10.480 It's about your decision-making process. 00:13:10.799 --> 00:13:12.399 On and on and on. 00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:24.720 And here is the interesting thing to pay attention to as well, which is all of these things are so normal, so natural to us that we've stopped noticing them. 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:26.240 We don't pay attention to them. 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:29.759 We end up chucking it up to this is how I do the work. 00:13:29.919 --> 00:13:40.399 But that may be exactly the thing that your ideal buyer needs, your ideal client needs to see, to understand that you're the right person, that the fit is there. 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:51.039 Because your marketing might already do an excellent job proving that you are capable, showing that your experience, that you understand how to go about solving the problem. 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:56.559 But does it also help your ideal buyers understand whether the fit is right as well? 00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:02.240 And this becomes increasingly important when your ideal buyers are doing their due diligence. 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:08.799 They are looking at several other options who are also demonstrating that they're capable, also. 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:09.519 Right? 00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:10.559 I mean, think about it. 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:19.440 Nobody is going to go to the market and say, I'm really not that experienced, or I don't know what I'm doing, or I probably am not very good at this. 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:23.519 Everyone's gonna tell their buyers some version of the same thing. 00:14:23.679 --> 00:14:30.960 They're gonna say, We're experienced, we know what we're doing, here's our results, here's our case studies, here's our testimonials. 00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:39.919 And again, when the buyer does their due diligence and see all the options that they're comparing, they're all experienced and capable of doing the job. 00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:43.039 Now the buyer is asking a different question. 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:49.919 And the question is, which of these experts do I really want by my side to do this work or to get me to that solution? 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:54.960 There's this idea from Seth Godin that captures part of this beautifully. 00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:58.559 His famous phrase, people like us do things like this. 00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:01.759 It's an idea about identity and belonging. 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:09.200 And I really believe that there is another question sitting right alongside it when we're choosing an expert, right? 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:12.399 And that question is, are you one of us? 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:17.120 Not necessarily in the literal sense, and probably not even consciously. 00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:24.159 It's not like again, we're sitting down with a checklist of do your values or beliefs or personality match mine? 00:15:24.559 --> 00:15:26.159 It's just we can't help it. 00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:29.279 Our brain is always scanning for fit. 00:15:29.440 --> 00:15:34.159 And our brain is looking for signals to see, do we see the world in a similar way? 00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:36.480 Do we believe some of the same things? 00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:39.200 Do we value some of the same things? 00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:40.399 Do I relate to you? 00:15:40.559 --> 00:15:42.240 Do I like the way that you think? 00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:46.960 Is there something in your background or experience that makes me feel like you understand people like me? 00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:56.480 You know, as our brain is scanning for those clues or those signals, and sometimes it happens over the period of maybe several months. 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:09.039 And this is another conversation that I have talked about on this podcast about how every part of your marketing, your messaging, and the way that you're positioning yourself is all about giving those signals. 00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:10.799 They all have to work together. 00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:24.720 So no matter which door the buyer enters your house, enters your business, or try to get to know your business, they're able to put the pieces together, not just on are you capable, but are we the right fit, right? 00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:29.200 But sometimes, and that's the beauty of it, it happens very, very quickly. 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:31.600 And I've talked about that on this podcast too. 00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:42.240 Examples of how someone just found me several days ago and now they're on a consultation, and 15 minutes later, they're ready to go in into an engagement with me, right? 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:45.759 I this happens to me on a regular basis in my business. 00:16:46.000 --> 00:17:06.799 And of course, a huge part of what contributes to this is for me because I've done my own due diligence, my own digging to understand myself and what I bring into my solutions and how I go about delivering the solution and make

sure those are communicated in my messaging and in my marketing. 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:13.680 And when you do that, this is where your messaging can start doing much more of the heavy lifting for you. 00:17:13.920 --> 00:17:16.000 I call this buyer alignment messaging. 00:17:16.160 --> 00:17:23.599 Buyer alignment messaging intentionally makes meaningful points of fit visible inside your marketing. 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:29.519 You're giving the right people enough information so they can recognize that fit for themselves. 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:38.480 And just as importantly as I said earlier, you're giving the wrong fit people enough information to also recognize that you may not be for them. 00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:43.680 And that is also extremely valuable, something that we don't talk about in marketing much at all. 00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:58.319 We always focus on how do we draw the right fit clients to us, but it's also very important to make that fit very visible so we don't spend our marketing resources and time on people who are not the right fit for us. 00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:13.039 And so the goal is when you make the fit visible, and when that person reaches your sales page, fills out an inquiry form, or gets on a sales call with your team, they can already know something beyond are you capable? 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:15.519 Is this firm capable of doing this job? 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:26.960 They can also arrive at that sales page or sales call, knowing that this is a person that I want behind this solution, and this is a person specifically that I want guiding me. 00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:35.119 And so again, that changes how we should approach personal part of personal branding. 00:18:35.440 --> 00:18:40.400 So I want us to go back to our attorney who flies planes. 00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:46.720 Maybe flying planes really is relevant to what she's doing and how she's practicing law. 00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:51.519 Maybe years of flying have shaped how she thinks about preparation and risk. 00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:57.200 Maybe flying has influenced the way she responds when something unexpected happens. 00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:03.839 Maybe there are lessons that she has picked up from flying that genuinely shows up in a way that she practices law. 00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:11.920 If any of those are true, now flying tells me something meaningful about the attorney who may eventually handle my case. 00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:19.759 And of course, if none of that is true, if she simply loves getting into a plane on a Sunday morning and fly, that's wonderful too. 00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:22.720 And if she wants to share it, that's fantastic. 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.640 And maybe as an ideal fit client, I love flying too. 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:28.559 And now we have something to talk about. 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:30.240 We have something in common. 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:39.359 But I wouldn't confuse learning another fact about her with understanding what makes her the attorney that I want representing me. 00:19:39.599 --> 00:19:48.799 And that's the opportunity that we miss when we reduce personal branding to show more of yourself, show more of the person behind the solution. 00:19:49.039 --> 00:19:52.559 You don't necessarily need to show people more of you. 00:19:52.799 --> 00:20:14.400 You need to make the parts that matter visible: your experiences, your judgment, your beliefs, your values, your way of approaching your solution, your personality that has led you to approach your solution that way, the things that have shaped your expertise and influence what someone actually experiences when they end up working with you. 00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:21.440 So before I wrap up this episode, I really love for you to sit down and try something. 00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:33.119 Imagine that your ideal client is sitting at their desk right now and they have your website open in one tab and three of your competitors open in three other tabs. 00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:36.960 Now, all of you are demonstrating expertise. 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:43.279 All four of you come across very credible, all of you seem capable of getting the job done. 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:48.799 And this buyer only has what you've put into the world to decide whether you're the right fit for them. 00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:52.480 Not just whether you're capable, but whether you're the right fit. 00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:59.519 Can they see your beliefs and values that shaped the way you approach solving the problem? 00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:06.640 Can they understand the judgment that goes into how you're going to guide them through the process of giving them that solution? 00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:11.519 Can they get a sense of what it would actually feel like to have you doing this work with them? 00:21:11.839 --> 00:21:17.279 Can they recognize whether you're the kind of person that is their kind of person? 00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:20.400 Because you might know what makes you different. 00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:27.759 Your existing clients probably know, most likely know what makes you different and why working with you is so amazing. 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:32.079 But someone who has never worked with you only has what you've made visible. 00:21:32.319 --> 00:21:38.480 And in most cases, based on experience, you might be giving them far less to go on than you realize. 00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:46.000 And by the way, if you're wondering how well your current marketing and messaging is doing that, I created something that can help you. 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:48.799 It's my free positioning and messaging audit. 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:57.279 You can bring your website, your social media profiles, even your recent content that you've shared on social or you're inside your newsletters. 00:21:57.599 --> 00:22:10.079 And this messaging and positioning audit walks you through 20 questions across five areas that helps you look at your marketing through the eyes of someone deciding whether they want to work with you. 00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:19.759 You'll be able to see where the real depth of what you do is coming through and where your messaging may be making you look far more interchangeable than you actually are. 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:25.599 You can get this audit for free at elinatoli.com slash authority. 00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:41.759 And if you want to go deeper, if you want my help uncovering what actually makes your expertise and approach different, and turning that into a buyer alignment messaging and authority-led marketing, that's exactly what we do inside my position to be chosen workshop. 00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:51.200 You'll leave knowing what makes your approach different, what matters to the people who want to work with you, and what you can build your authority around for years to come. 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:56.000 You can learn more about that at elinatoly.com slash position. 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:00.160 I will link both the audit and the workshop in the show notes. 00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:04.160 And before we wrap up, I want to leave you with one question. 00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:14.799 The next time somebody tells you that building a personal brand means showing people more of the person behind the business, don't just ask, what else can I share about myself? 00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:23.279 I want you to start thinking about what does someone need to see about me to understand what it would actually be like to working with me. 00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:33.839 Because the goal, again, isn't to make your marketing more personal just for the sake of being personal, it's to make the things that create meaningful alignment visible to them. 00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:39.920 So that when the right buyer finds you, they don't simply think, hmm, this person knows what they're doing. 00:23:40.079 --> 00:23:48.400 They also think this is exactly the person that I want by my side helping me with this problem or getting to that solution. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:51.920 Thank you for listening to Marketing Your Truth Podcast. 00:23:52.079 --> 00:24:04.000 If someone came to mind while you were listening to this, maybe an expert who's doing incredible work but struggling to communicate what really makes them different, do me a favor, could you share this episode with them? 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.440 And if this episode resonated with you, I love it. 00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:19.680 If you take a few minutes to leave a review, tell me what you find useful about the show, or even an idea from this episode or other episodes that change the way you think about your marketing or your personal branding. 00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:21.680 I would really appreciate that.