Full Transcript for 104 | Finding Your Style and Confidence After 50 with Sherrie Fisher

we get too practical, You said that you have been reading my book. What are your thoughts? Sherrie (01:49) Mm, it's okay. Michelle (01:50) I just want to hear real quickly and then we'll get into all the fashion stuff. Sherrie (01:54) Well, I have a lot of thoughts about it. First of all, I wrote you as soon as I, finished doing it, I wrote that the words that you wrote didn't just put imagery in my head, but they've touched my soul and put imagery in my soul. And it was, Michelle, I can't even tell you, like reading it, I really felt your words, your heart, and God's grace through the book. You know, it was just something so beautiful and It's not like anything I've ever read before because it has this the passages and it has Esther's story told in the most sweet, compassionate, relatable way. And I think that's really important. And one of the things I took out, and I'm gonna read this, you had written, and I think this was in the first chapter, we questioned it was Esther struggling with her identity. And don't we all feel like that? Like, don't we feel that we're struggling with our identity? I mean, when we were a teenager, we kind of had dreams of who we would be. Then we became a mother, that was my identity. I'm so and so's mother or I'm so and so's wife. I was a teacher for 32 years. That was my identity. So I left those labels of my identity To kind of put me to who I had to be or who I thought I had to be, you know, and that's so much of Esther's story too. who was she? She had to leave behind who she thought she was or who she really was. But you had said something in your book, and it said, to be the woman you are, meant to be in this season. And in order to do that, you're gonna have to remember. The woman who you were always meant to be. Hmm. And I paused And I'm gonna tell you that I'm not sure I really knew or know who I was meant to be. Because I was a woman who spent my life surviving hard things. so I always kind of wondered could life be different for me than what happened in my past? And so when it says to remember who I was always meant to be, at 63, I'm still discovering who it is God has placed me on this earth to be. And so I I took those words and I like internalized them and almost took it as a challenge. Like, yes, yes, I am finding out who that woman I'm supposed to be is. So I thank you for that challenge. And even right in the first chapter of your book. Michelle (04:27) Thank you. Sherrie (04:28) But So with with all that said, I first want to say I did bring a crown here and it's rose gold. I know. And a little woohoo to you, my friend, woohoo to you. So I Michelle (04:40) Yeah. Sherrie (04:41) don't want to forget that. but I I I want to talk about being that woman, the woman who knows who she is, and how much many of us struggle with that. And yes, it's fashion that we struggle with sometimes. It's just our outward appearance. It's wearing the big chunky jewelry, earrings to match, an extra bracelet just because. You know, I want you to think about how many times have you looked at somebody and you've said, I could never be like that Somebody who is showing up in their real self, in their authentic self, and you're taken back a little bit and you're like, I don't think I could ever wear a chunky necklace or I could never wear polka dot pants. I have polka dot pants on today. You know, you might look at somebody and say, I love that, but I could never do it. And I challenge you to say, why? Why can't you do it? Who told you you can't do it? But the thing is, is like I w I was at the beach a couple of weeks ago and I was all by myself, which if you've never been to the beach by yourself as an adult woman, I highly recommend it. I didn't have to worry if anybody was with me, I didn't have to worry about anything. It was just me, the water, the sunshine. But looking around, you can see everything. You see people who are in teeny teeny bathing suits that maybe I judge shouldn't be, or people who are so covered up and I think, honey, I'm so sorry you came to the beach so covered up because you didn't believe that you could not be covered up. And that's the freedom. And I I want to offer you the courage that God, never asks us to be confident. He asks us to be courageous. And so being courageous is following what's in your heart and saying, you know what? I really like this shirt. There's something about this shirt that speaks to me. Maybe it's a really bold color, and I'm not used to wearing a bold color. Wear it. Be courageous. And every time you take a courageous step, it's gonna build your confidence a little bit more every time. I promise. and if somebody says something, just laugh. Okay, great. Maybe, maybe they're uncomfortable, but that's your that's their thoughts. And you know, and as a coach, we really get into the thought practice of that's their thought. It doesn't have to be your thought. But I I did the what the Walmart as a courageous gesture to me. I love Walmart. I'm a t I was a teacher. I could go into Walmart and find something and it was cheap. And you know it's okay if it got glue on it or dry erase on it. It really wasn't that pricey. If I went to the loft and bought like a $60 shirt, I'd be really upset if I got dry erase on it. But here I have a $12 Walmart vest on. you know, it's gonna be okay. And Walmart has really come around girls because They have a hundred percent linen, cotton, all those things. Michelle (07:55) And for those who who are just listening to the podcast and cannot see, she's got this beautiful yellow sweater, like sleeveless, Sherrie (08:04) Sweater vest. Michelle (08:05) yes, and and it with this wonderful teal or it with the polka dot. Yes, Sherrie (08:09) And polka dot brown. Michelle (08:12) yes. And Sherry just always it looks so put together. And I had I guess I had judged Walmart because When I go in there I see simple things. I don't for some reason I don't see things that I can put layers and

things together. And so I know you have this wonderful way of how you just kind of accessorize and put it together so that it looks leveled up. But even the the quality of that shirt, it doesn't even look simple. It looks very polished, you know? Sherrie (08:42) Right. Now I will tell you, and this is your permission to even if you have flabby arms, wear the sleeveless shirts, people. We don't need to not wear them just because our arms are flabby. Our arms are probably not gonna be any less flabby than they are right now unless we're working out on them, okay? And I'm trying, I mean, I'm doing my little workouts, but you know, whatever. But I'm I want you to have the freedom. Now I will tell you one thing. That a lot of shirts, I'm I'm a big chest it kind of gal. so a lot of shirts I have to get a little bit bigger. I always wear a cami under my shirts because I don't like my bra to show. So you can get camis that even will suck in a little bit, but I always wear a cami under anything. And it's helpful to me because I don't like to expose myself anywhere. If I reach up and my shirt comes up, it's my cami, not my tummy. And that gives me some security. you know, other people might feel okay, but right now some of the shirts are really kind of short ish, you know, so a little cami underneath there is really helpful. And even if you find a cami that's a coordinated color, you can put the cami on the outside and it just acts like a layer and it looks cute. And so you can wear the shorter kind of shirts but they're making you feel comfortable. But I also want to encourage you to not be afraid to pattern mix. You know, go ahead and find something that's unusual. Like today, I have polka dotted pants on. And I just put them on with yellow and turquoise. and then something like this piece here. You can even find these pieces now because they're like summer pieces. If you go into the clearance rack, they're really cheap, like $7, $5. I saw things for $3. But I can throw a short sleeve shirt underneath this, a long sleeve shirt underneath this, and then that brings this one piece into different seasons. And I do that a lot. I'll buy those little tank top dresses that are in the summertime, and I can wear that and have like a little like a shawl or a little like. breezy kind of sweater, you know, a little sweater with that. But then in the wintertime, I put a t-shirt over top of it that's a little bit bigger and tie like a little knot in the side. And it just looks so cute. Where I had sandals on with it, now I put boots on with it. So you're just seeing the skirt part of it, but I've gotten so much more wear out of it. So for like a $15 tank top, I've extended it throughout all the seasons. Michelle (11:17) So, so let me make sure I understand what you're saying. You're basically saying don't necessarily cycle out your closet and store away your summer clothes in the wintertime. Find ways to just wear it but layering with all the other things. I mean, that makes so much sense because I remembered as a little girl my closet, you know, the closets have gotten so much bigger. But yeah, it was the little closet. And and thankfully Sherrie (11:38) Yeah. The little closets. Yeah, they were like this neat, right? Michelle (11:42) it was practice for my life now because my closet's only about 12 inches. But you know, I hated when it was time to pack up all your clothes and put them all away. So pull out the next bin, you know, because it's and especially fall and spring, right? Some days are hot, some days are cold. Morning could be hot and then it's cold. And so I love what you're presenting here is that you're pretty much having an all season closet just finding ways to make it all work. So tell us a little bit though, like Cause you said it just takes courage. And so obviously you have practiced that courage to get to where you're at. When it does come to pattern mixing, because you mentioned pattern mixing, what is practicing that look like to build up your tolerance and and the style that you see the patterns working together? Like how did you do that? Sherrie (12:32) Well Pattern mixing to me would be taking maybe something that has polka dots and putting stripes with it, but the colors work. So you have to find something that's common in them. So if I was to wear, like I have these camo pants that I really like. And maybe, you know, you're thinking, camo, okay, well, they're like that green and the brownish colors. And then I can put a pink with that and really brighten it up. I could put a brown polka dot with that. I could put a denim with that. So the things that you might not think of just automatically, you just pull them together. And if they don't go, They're good. And what I mean by that, you know, if you if you took out something that was really flowerful, flowerful, flowerful, and then mixed it with another really flowerful thing, that would be too clashing. But if you pulled out the colors of one thing and added it with another similar color or a complementary color, the patterns will mix and they'll be fine. And you could like put something like a piece of jewelry on and find something that matches that in the outfit and it will pull it together too. yesterday I had on a Kelly green shirt on and then I put a pink scarf on that had lots of different colors in it. And so it just even though you might not think like, my gosh, pink and green, but I think it worked because in the scarf there were some colors. So scarves are great accessories, really easy to find right now. And it's really fun. It's a little rabbit hole on the internet to start looking at all the ways you can tie scarves now. But yeah, so pattern mixing is looking for something common in between them. Some kind of either the color or even the tone of the color, you know, like you want to have muted shades all will go together or really bright shades might go together. Michelle (14:25) It's funny because you're you're

making me remember a time when I used to be caught up into the traditional fashion story that we're told where your skin type determines the colors you can wear, right? And and I discovered that that can be Sherrie (14:36) Right, right, right, right. Michelle (14:41) true, but it isn't the whole story, right? And so someone Sherrie (14:44) Mm, good point. Michelle (14:45) said to me. you know, when you look out at nature, what God designed and created. And if you see those two colors together in a flower or in an animal or in a something, that's that means that God says those those two colors belong together. Right. And so Sherrie (15:01) Sure. Michelle (15:01) I think, okay, that really opens up the the spectrum of options that I used to limit myself to based on what people had said, right? I'm always Sherrie (15:12) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Michelle (15:13) told that I'm what a winter a cold winter. That I'm an icy girl, you know? And so they're Sherrie (15:17) yeah. Michelle (15:19) kind of like, you you wear those dark colors, and you know, but once I started playing with like those bold bright colors, it terrified me. I don't get me wrong, it terrified me when I Sherrie (15:30) So you had to have courage. Michelle (15:32) I had to have courage. And the first time I wore something that took courage, I went to church that day and I received so many compliments. That I went home and thrift stored that dress. It just terrified me, you know, because I like to hide. But I kept practicing, right? So like a little at a time, Michelle came out of her shell, and then I discovered what was true for me. So I took what they said and I practiced it. And Sherrie (15:57) Right? Mm-hmm. Michelle (15:59) then I said, You know, that's cool that they said that, but this is what really makes me come out of my shell when I show up in it, right? And and so that's the whole point is when you Sherrie (16:07) Right, right. Absolutely. Michelle (16:10) can put on clothes that make you feel like you can be 100% yourself, no need to hide behind anything. Cause I used to hide behind gray, right? A lot of people hide behind beige. Now, gray and beige belong on people's bodies for sure. They look fantastic in them. A lot of people do. But I I discovered that I was hiding behind it. And Sherrie (16:31) It's a safe, right, right. Mm-hmm. Michelle (16:33) so that's when I had to go, ugh, I don't love that, and have to shift away from the grays and those blended muted colors to become the Michelle that you see today. So because I can wear these bold colors, it helps me literally sometimes to put on a bold outfit so that I can show up bold for the day, because I know the day's gonna require me to be bold. So sometimes I will put on bold for me. I don't care what you guys need, right? That's right. Sherrie (17:01) Right, right, right. But it's like your power suit, you know, it like gives you that feeling. But you want to listen. I think it's really important to say that you want to listen to that inner voice and not get stuck in a comparison. well, so-and-so wears this so beautifully. maybe I can do it, or I don't know. I don't you have to listen. You know, I had my colors done a couple of months ago, and you know, I was like, okay, huh. But I still there's still colors on there that she said aren't my best colors that I love and that I feel comfortable in. So what am I gonna do? Am I gonna abandon that? No, I'm gonna follow what I feel because that's when you have your confidence. When you're wearing something, not as a security wear, like you were saying with your gray, you're not gonna wear it like, this is my safe outfit. I'm gonna wear this and I feel safe. No, but wear something that's going to give you some kind of confidence and give you that. I'm gonna feel good in this. I do feel good in this, Michelle (18:00) Isn't that interesting how there Sherrie (18:00) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Michelle (18:01) is a color that you'll find in your palette that makes you feel Sherrie (18:06) Exactly. Michelle (18:06) safe, but also bold. because sometimes you just have to show up and do the hard thing, speak to whoever on the other line or whatever it is that you know you're you've been holding off. And you just have to be bold, but you also want to feel comforted in who God is in your life and in who you are in your life, and just know. You're gonna be okay. And Sherrie (18:25) Yeah. And like you said with the colors, you also want to explore. So maybe wear your black but put on a turquoise necklace or put on Michelle (18:33) That's right. Sherrie (18:33) a scarf. So you've got that black that's giving you a little bit, but then give it a little punch. Give something that's gonna build that confidence in you. Michelle (18:41) That's right. And and the days I need to show up playful, like when I'm gonna go play with my grandbabies, I do. I make sure I put on those fun colors and we're gonna, although ones that they Sherrie (18:51) That's so sweet. Michelle (18:52) can throw up on, you know, because we're still giving bottles to the baby. But you know, it's like Sherrie (18:57) No. Michelle (18:58) you just show up wearing what you need for that day, right? Sherrie (19:03) Yeah, yeah. Michelle (19:04) if I'm tired but I need to energize myself, I'll put on an energy color so that I can say, okay, Michelle, we're gonna do this. We're gonna, you know. And and I love that color has that effect on on people. The Lord designed us to respond to color that way. Isn't Sherrie (19:19) Absolutely. Michelle (19:20) it amazing? And and color, it connects to emotions, which connects to how you show up confidently or or not confidently. And so that's why. Sherrie (19:24) Mm-hmm. Everything. Mm-hmm. The vibrations of the colors are, you know, like think about fall. Right now it's turning fall where I live, and the leaves are just starting to change, just starting. And it just like makes you gasp sometimes at how beautiful it is, or the sky when it

changes colors. Like color really gives you a feeling. You're right. Michelle (19:45) And so that's why I love, you know, Sherry, she's she's a life coach, but she's also this fashion piece and how it just makes the connections happen because often when we go see a life coach, we're we're in an emotionally stuck place, right? And so then you you may need laughter or you may need to cry or you may need to whatever it is to get that unstuck place. And then you have someone like Sherry who can help you do all the things with the colors, with the fashion, with the things, you know. along with all that mindset where her her podcast, you guys, it's like a breath of fresh air. If you are living a tense life, you just need to exhale a minute, just like put on Sherry's podcast. You can you you just feel this exhale because she helps you Sherrie (20:29) Thank you. Michelle (20:29) slow down, right? You can you can just do that. And then she talks about essential oils. I mean it's Sherrie (20:35) Well, I have a breath prayer for us if you want. At the end we can do a little breath prayer together to end our time. Yeah. But Michelle (20:39) I would love that. I would love it. So, okay, Where can they find you? Because they're gonna wanna find you. Sherrie (20:45) Okay, so the best way to find me is on Instagram. Okay, and I'm at the Soul Journey Collective because it's a little bit of a collection of everything that's in my soul. and then if you check out the show notes where I have some freebies on Penn site, and I'm venturing into Substack. I know a lot of people, and I'm gonna be doing a little program on Substack. where I'm going to be walking alongside of women who are ready to take the next steps in their lives. Maybe you've been through trauma or maybe you're just at a changing point. So I'm going to start a little program on Substack. And my podcast is the Soul Journey Podcast. Michelle (21:28) Yeah. Okay, so Sherry, what is what is a practical tip or thing that women who are listening today could literally turn around and do right now and have that easy win Sherrie (21:38) Okay, so I I do want to point out one passage that came to mind when I was reading your book and then getting prepared, like writing some notes. And it's 1 Samuel, and it's man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. if you're if you're walking with the Lord, I want you to remember that He sees you and He sees you trying to be confident and He sees the courage that you're taking. So the one thing that I want to do is maybe if you're just starting out, is finding something, maybe finding a color that's a little different from what you're normally used to. And also finding maybe some signature pieces. For me, I always have earrings. I always have some kind of earring on. Usually they're bigger than this, but today I just wore the small ones because I have a big necklace on. But maybe find something that's exciting and new. Get a couple of new pairs of earrings and start adding those in. Cause that's just like a really subtle thing. You could be wearing the same thing, but then pop it with some jewelry that makes it a little bit bolder and a little bit different. And even A lipstick, you know, if I have a neutral on today, but I wear a red lip, I wear a pink lip. Do something a little bit different. And that goes even into your into your book, Michelle, about taking care of yourselves as far as your beauty regimen. It feels so good to wake up in the morning and wash your face and just like put your lo when you put your lotions on or your serums, don't just slap them on. Like really think about. I'm nurturing myself. I'm taking care of myself because those little things tell your brain that you matter, that you're taking care of yourself. And at night, I always take my makeup off. Take your makeup off. Cleanse off that day. And those are like little things that you can start. If you haven't gotten into a routine of your skincare, I highly recommend it because it really, it just makes you feel so simple that you're doing something for yourself. And I think that that's important because we, you know, we scroll through things and we see these people, and a lot of them have filters on, and a lot of them aren't showing up as their real self. but if you start taking care of yourself, that's one step that you start feeling confident, you know, one step that you're doing. Like I said, buy something that's a little bit different than you normally would buy and give it a try. Think about how do I feel with that? And if you're nervous, think about how will I feel if I back out? Like how will I feel that I didn't give myself the chance to try something new? Michelle (24:25) Right. I know. So going back to that day that I wore the I what it was was it was this green satiny leopard sheath dress that I wore to church that day. And I never wore animal patterns, right? The green I would have worn, but the animal pattern just felt too risque, you know. Sherrie (24:45) Ha ha ha ha. Michelle (24:46) But it was a sheath dress. There was nothing. And so I did I did thrift Sherrie (24:50) Right. Michelle (24:51) store it, but seeing people's response, it felt like I was finally seen for the first time. And it was like, okay, that's the my biggest complaint at the time was that nobody hears me, nobody sees me, nobody wants to hear, you know, be with me. And then all of a sudden I I was seen and then I was like, Well, is this really what I want? Do I really want to be seen? 'Cause it terrified me, but I realized, yeah, I kind of do. You know, like and it goes back to I was ready, Sherrie (25:20) You were ready. You were ready. Mm-hmm. Michelle (25:22) you know, you go back to that heart of a little girl. In the book, for those who haven't read it yet, first chapter, I talk about returning back to that little girl who you used to have to to twirl. And it it you may not have been a twirler, you might have loved swinging,

you might have loved roller skating, climbing trees, whatever it is, but there's a part of you that's alive that was created to delight, whether it's to delight yourself, delight your parents, delight your heavenly father, it is embreded into us as as women. God put it there. And so that's why beauty, I believe, is such a big deal for for women that he put into us. And so I think I got a little taste of of that and realized, ooh, I really do want it, but it's because God put it inside, right? He put it inside. All every woman wants to be complimented, right? So get out there and compliment the women in your life because everybody needs it. But anyway, it it does feel scary, but you're right. Ask yourself, if I back out, what am I missing out on? Like what what do I not get to experience if I back out on wearing this bold thing? Cause here's the thing. Everyone's gonna forget that you wore that dress. Nobody remembers that dress. So I don't have to worry about what people will think of me because they won't be thinking about it. But I I needed to know. Sherrie (26:38) And if you're not sure that test yourself, test yourself. Do you remember what somebody wore? We have these big events in the life in my coaching school that I go to. And we have these big events. I don't remember what one person wore unless I go back in the pictures. I mean, I might think they looked great that day, but I can't like for the life of me wouldn't be able to recall. But you need to come out confident. I'll remember that that person seemed confident or that person had an energy about them. I'll remember that time and time again, but I won't remember the exact thing that they wore or that their arms were a little flabby. I don't remember that. Michelle (27:16) Right. So just try it, right? Like give yourself twenty four hours Sherrie (27:19) Yeah, right. Mm-hmm. Michelle (27:20) to try it. And you may find that you want to try it again. Sherrie (27:23) And even right, right. And even put yourself on a on a journey of looking and noticing other people for the next couple of days. What do you notice about somebody when they walk by? Do you notice that they have nice jewelry on? Do you notice that they have their hair up or done, their makeup, their lipstick, their their patterns? Like what are you noticing? Because what you're noticing is what's calling to you. And so that's a really great little Tool to say, look, I'm really noticing people with color. I need to put some color in my life. And I do want to say that leopard and tortoise are neutrals, so you can always add in any animal print because it's a neutral, just saying Michelle (28:10) Yeah. Well, I don't mind animal prints now, but I do like it on smaller sizes than a full size dress. boy. Okay. So I think for a lot of women we have given them a lot to think about. And Sherrie (28:25) I hope they they come away with some excitement to try something new. Michelle (28:30) Yes. So you said you had a breath prayer. Do you wanna walk us through that? Sherrie (28:34) I do. So, yes, I'm going to put some oil in my hand called acceptance because that's what we want to do. We want to accept ourselves as we are and how we're growing to be the best that we can be. We're shedding the labels of the past and creating our future. So, in a breath prayer, and I'm just going to make it quick because I know we're limited on time, we do two three things. We just are set kind of quiet, sitting up, taking a deep breath. We're going to inhale. We're going to hold and then we're going to exhale. On each one of those, I'm going to read something. And so when I give you the breath prayer, and you can get these, I have some free breath prayer cards. You can read these and just say them like four times and just get to feel them. But we'll just do it two times real quick. All right. So you're going to inhale and as you inhale, you're going to say these words to yourself as I'm saying them. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You're going to hold it. I am confident in who God created me to be. Now exhale. I release comparison and show up as myself. Let's do it one more time. Inhale. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Hold that. I am confident in who God created me to be. Exhale. I release comparison and show up as myself. There you go. Michelle (30:03) I love that. Okay. So one more time, tell everyone where they can find you. Because you you have special Walmart links, right? And you have special jewelry links that they could use to shop. Sherrie (30:16) Do I do? Yes. Yes. And so if you go to my Instagram, all the stuff is in the bio where you can like click in there to find things. But yeah, and then they'll be in the show notes too. But it's the Soul Journey Collective. So again, it's because it's collection of me. So you're gonna Michelle (30:37) Well and Sherrie (30:38) get all the craziness. Michelle (30:40) So I love that you use the word collective. Sherrie (30:43) And how good it is when we follow those nudges. You know, you you started to feel those nudges and you started to like, wait, okay, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling this. And then you collect them all and then created something beautiful from it. So great. Michelle (30:57) Yes. Well, guys, I want to say thank you for showing up today, for listening to Sherry. Go follow her because you will enjoy. She is active on Instagram and she does not disappoint because she does provide a lot of value every day when you show up with her. and I I just wanna say thanks to everyone who has already read the book, bought the book, left a review, celebrated, you know, all the things because this is not something that a person can do alone. I love that I get to share this day with you like this. So we'll see you guys next week. Hey beautiful! I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who wants to find a better way to live midlife!? Also, please leave a quick review for the show on Apple podcasts. It lights me up to know this podcast is helping you! Okay, time to go hang out with my grandson and live my best midlife adventure. I’ll meet you back on Saturday for another episode. Bye!