Full Transcript for Things I Don't Post About 🔥 Daegan Coyne

train smarter, eat smarter, whatever it might be. 00:04:51.040 --> 00:05:01.279 So for my personality, if anything, I think it actually really assisted me in understanding my own body and understanding its needs in terms of nutrition and training and all that. 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:07.680 But I got to keep my discipline and my control and everything in line so my mind wasn't going completely crazy over it. 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:24.000 Whereas I know a lot of friends and um, you know, family that have done competitions, they have the opposite effect because they found the control and the discipline and the constant thought about, you know, weighing your food or anything like that, they just couldn't do and you know it was quite detrimental for them. 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:27.600 But I did somewhat have the opposite effect, actually. 00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:28.879 I think it kind of saved me. 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:38.399 I was going to mention that because I know that it can be, for lack lack of a better word, toxic to people when they get really fixated. 00:05:38.639 --> 00:05:51.439 And, you know, if you step out of line or you have a, you know, quote unquote bad meal, a bad day, that it just throws uh, you know, people into mental spiral. 00:05:51.920 --> 00:06:02.959 Uh so to hear that it was actually the opposite for you, that it it improved your awareness around fueling yourself and uh, you know, it is very rewards-based too, right? 00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:07.439 So you put in on the hard work and then you can see the the results happen. 00:06:07.519 --> 00:06:14.879 Yeah, I think that for someone with probably a similar me being a similar personality to you, it's very validating too. 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:15.279 It is. 00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:16.399 It's like I'm gonna keep going. 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:16.879 This is great. 00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:17.439 100%. 00:06:17.759 --> 00:06:23.439 You see the progress, you see the results, and then it just fuels the fire and you want to keep going and getting better and better. 00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:28.079 And you know, I did it for quite a few years, probably six, seven years of competing. 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:32.240 And every year, you know, you're eating more, your diet's always increasing. 00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:36.800 And your training isn't necessarily getting more, it's just getting better. 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:45.120 So you're not just endless hours of cardio or anything like that, all the unhealthy habits you had as a you know, early teen or 20-year-old or whatever it might be. 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:48.879 I don't know, it just really taught me a lot about my own body and nutrition health. 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:51.120 And I think it was, yeah, I loved it. 00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:52.319 I loved that period of time. 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:53.920 Would I do it again now? 00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:55.600 Probably not as a mom of two. 00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:58.480 I think it's somewhat of a

selfish sport. 00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:03.600 Sorry to anyone that does it, and um with kids and family, but it is it's time consuming. 00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:03.839 Yeah. 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:05.439 Like you have to be in the gym for a while. 00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:14.480 You have to have those breaks in between each set, you need to be fueling properly, and you you do need to, you know, weigh out your foods, and you need to eat really healthy, know what's in it. 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:16.800 So you can't just go sporadically eat out all the time. 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:17.279 Yeah. 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:18.800 So it is a bit selfish. 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:19.120 Yeah. 00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:19.839 Yeah. 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:32.000 And then I know that when I had children, it really threw a spanner for me because, like you, I enjoyed uh having my routine, having that element of control. 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:38.879 I had this baby and was like, why aren't you doing what the books are telling me that you should be doing, baby? 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:52.480 Um and so I really struggled with uh yeah, being a mom and you know, going with the flow when I'm such a routine oriented person. 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:57.680 Were you competing uh when you had the babies, or was that kind of like a stopping point for you? 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:00.079 It was quite actually, it's a funny story. 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:04.319 So I went home for Christmas in Canada. 00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:06.959 So it would have been Harlem was 2016. 00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:10.399 So it must have been 2015, 16, Christmas. 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:15.600 And I went home and I was just having like a little month break off training in prep. 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:16.720 And then I was going back. 00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:21.040 I had a big, I can't even remember what comp was coming up, but in like four months I had a big comp. 00:08:21.120 --> 00:08:27.199 And I was like, I'll just have Christmas off, get back into prep, training, go hard, you know, enjoy time with my family. 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:31.279 And then at the time, my husband was living in Beijing. 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:35.840 So I'd flown from Canada back to Beijing to go see him, and I was so sick. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:37.279 The entire flight. 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:42.799 And the the crazy part was my husband had only flown from China to Canada to see me for like a few days. 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:44.799 There was like a very small window. 00:08:45.039 --> 00:08:48.240 But anyway, I flew to you don't need much. 00:08:48.559 --> 00:08:55.360 But anyway, I flew back to China and we lived with two, two other like doctors and um pharmacists. 00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:56.879 So I was just getting like, hit me. 00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:57.360 I'm sick. 00:08:57.440 --> 00:08:58.399 What other drugs you got? 00:08:58.480 --> 00:08:59.440 Like, fix this. 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:00.960 It's not making me feel better. 00:09:01.039 --> 00:09:04.480 And they just kept, I was popping like Corney's like, you can't have that many neurofin in a day. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:05.919 I'm like, it's not working. 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:08.159 I am so sick, I'm dying. 00:09:08.399 --> 00:09:10.639 And then it was, I don't even know, it was March. 00:09:10.799 --> 00:09:12.879 This is like three months after Christmas. 00:09:13.039 --> 00:09:16.080 And then Corney's like, Do you think we need to get a pregnancy test? 00:09:16.159 --> 00:09:18.240 I'm like, there's no way I'm pregnant. 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:19.279 I've never seen you. 00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:20.320 Like, you're never around. 00:09:20.399 --> 00:09:22.639 I saw you once at Christmas, like as if. 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:26.879 And in fairness, like we've never, we've been together for how many years? 00:09:27.039 --> 00:09:29.919 Never fell pregnant before, so just didn't think it was on the cards. 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:36.559 Anyway, got a pregnancy test, took it, and I was either definitely pregnant or definitely not, but it was in Chinese, so we couldn't understand it. 00:09:36.799 --> 00:09:40.320 And it was a time where you couldn't just chat GPT or like screen grab it. 00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:41.360 So we're like, I don't know. 00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:44.559 So anyway, flew back home to Australia. 00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:48.159 Um, I usually went six weeks here, six weeks in China. 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:52.240 And when I was in Australia, I went to the doctor and they did a pregnancy test and it was positive. 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:54.080 And I almost had a heart attack. 00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:57.360 And then they did the skin, and I was like 16 weeks. 00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:58.159 I'm like, stop. 00:09:58.720 --> 00:09:59.759 16 weeks. 00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:00.320 Yeah. 00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:04.240 And then so I didn't get to train at all for that four-month period. 00:10:04.320 --> 00:10:05.440 And then that was that was it. 00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:11.919 I never went back to comp after that because it was kids and we moved overseas again, and too much. 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:14.240 And yeah, I've thought about like, would I go back now? 00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:14.960 And I'm like, you know what? 00:10:15.039 --> 00:10:17.039 I'm too old and I don't have energy for that. 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:19.440 I just, yeah, it's not on my bingo card. 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:19.919 Yeah. 00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:22.720 So that's when that finished. 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:23.279 Yeah. 00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:30.720 You've always been such a go-a, though, that you've always been someone that has that's working towards something. 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:34.240 What was then the next goal? 00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:34.799 Oh. 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:36.080 Good questions. 00:10:36.159 --> 00:10:38.080 I always have to have something, definitely. 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:45.039 Whether it's my career or in fitness or even financial

goals, I always have things. 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:46.720 And it's like our New Year's resolutions. 00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:50.559 I've got my gratitude book, so I have all my goals that I'm trying to aim to get. 00:10:50.720 --> 00:10:54.960 Um, this year was I always did long distance running, so like full marathons. 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:58.240 Um, and then this year I was like, I want to do a really fast 10K. 00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:00.240 So my goal was fast 10K. 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:07.679 So I was doing lots of sprint training, and I just have to have something in my head to work for, otherwise, I find like going for a run in the morning kind of boring. 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:09.840 Like, what's the point if I'm not training for something? 00:11:10.159 --> 00:11:11.759 So just little things like that are good. 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:18.240 And then even like personally, just for fun, is I wanted to be able to do tumbling with my daughter. 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:19.679 So she's a really good little gymnast. 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:25.519 So I'm like, I'm gonna go training every week, go to gymnastics, learn to do, you know, round off back flips or whatever it might be. 00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:27.519 So those are always random goals. 00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:30.639 And I'm like, at 40, I'm kind of paying for it now. 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:35.039 It's not nearly as easy as it was like 10, 15 years ago, but that's fun. 00:11:35.679 --> 00:11:38.320 But I think we moved back from Shanghai. 00:11:38.399 --> 00:11:41.120 We were in Shanghai for a couple years when the kids were little. 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:45.840 When we moved back, um, we had built our new house, so that was a big goal of ours. 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:59.360 But then career has definitely been a real focus the last four or five years was just getting back into law because I had to take a break when I was overseas and with the kids and building up my area in a place that I really enjoy. 00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:03.120 And yeah, that's been a focus of mine lately. 00:12:03.519 --> 00:12:17.120 Do you ever like hit something that you've aimed for and gone, yes, I can actually sit and be proud of what I've achieved, or is it just a new goalpost? 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:18.960 Like you just move it to the next thing. 00:12:19.919 --> 00:12:21.039 It's funny, isn't it? 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:25.840 Like, I don't know if it's a my personality thing or a woman thing, or it could be men too. 00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:27.840 I'm just speaking from my own experience. 00:12:28.080 --> 00:12:47.759 But you know, you always have these goals, and I am like a high achiever, a a go-getter, and you have these big goals, and sometimes it takes a lot, and I think it's my husband, he's really good at being grounded and just sitting with, you know, where we're at and what we've done, whereas I'm kind of like, okay, I don't see the goal being hit. 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:49.600 I'm just like, okay, we got the

house now. 00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:52.000 Now I'm like, I'm already on the hunt to the next house. 00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:55.600 I'm like, okay, now we need the beachfront one, and like just silly things. 00:12:55.679 --> 00:13:04.720 But when you sit back and I'll go through old diaries or my gratitude books, and you look at everything that you I used to write it on two sides. 00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:10.399 My husband had taught me so you had, you know, what you're grateful for as in right now, like what you have in your life. 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:17.759 And then the other page you'd write it as in you were speaking to yourself on the future, being like what you're hopeful for, but you're writing as if you have it now. 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:22.799 And you go through it and everything that that I've asked for, you've you can tick off. 00:13:23.120 --> 00:13:27.120 But I don't think you ever appreciate it as much as you should. 00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:35.440 And I think it's because I don't know if there's this misconception or thought that you know, once once you've achieved this, it's gonna just be happiness, and that's all it is. 00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:40.480 It's just everyone's gonna be happy, it's gonna be perfect, and that's just not life. 00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:47.120 Like life is beautiful, crazy, messy, wild, like you know, depressing. 00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:50.080 It's so many different things, and sometimes in the same day. 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:55.919 So I think it's really hard to sometimes just stop yourself and sit back and be like, hey, you know what? 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:57.360 I did really good today. 00:13:57.600 --> 00:13:59.600 Or I have reached the school. 00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:00.799 Like, this is what we wanted. 00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:02.639 Let's embrace and enjoy it. 00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:09.120 And yeah, I have to sit back to really be grateful and understand where I'm at and enjoy it. 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:20.480 I would imagine that a lot of your audience that follows you on social media would see this version of you and go, oh my gosh, like she's just crushing it. 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:25.840 She's fit, she's spending time with her kids, she's back doing law. 00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:29.679 But do you think that that's the actual truth? 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:31.759 Oh, it's a funny one. 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:33.679 Like on paper, it does sound pretty good, right? 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:40.480 Like you're like, oh yeah, she's lawyer, she's got the two kids, got the house, and I'm like, and I I see that with everyone's life, you know, on paper. 00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:45.679 But behind the scenes, I think it comes down to that question, can you ever have it all? 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:48.639 And I think the answer is definitely not. 00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:52.720 Like you can't, you can have it all, at least not at the same time. 00:14:52.879 --> 00:14:54.240 So everything comes at a cost. 00:14:54.399 --> 00:14:56.720 And I think that's my week to week too. 00:14:56.799 --> 00:14:57.759 And I'm so fortunate. 00:14:57.840 --> 00:15:01.759 Like I work from home, I get to be with my children, I get to go to all their activities. 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:03.519 But that comes out of a cost as well. 00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:11.919 So if I want to be at their assembly or see them get their award or go to their sports presentation, that means I'm working until 11:30 midnight, you know, that night. 00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:14.559 Or and then that costs the next day too. 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:17.679 You're exhausted and maybe not as patient as you should be. 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:32.159 Um so there's long hours, there's um yeah, there's a lot that goes into it, and I think everything comes at a cost, and it's just coming at working out what you value and how you can make that work. 00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:35.600 But I don't think you can ever have have it all. 00:15:35.919 --> 00:15:39.200 Like there's there's a lot of stress in everything that goes behind it. 00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:54.879 Yeah, I think I find it hard to again, social media, people really um resonate and f and connect with people when they show up in their vulnerability. 00:15:55.200 --> 00:16:01.039 Do you feel that that does something that you that you do or that it's kind of more hidden? 00:16:01.120 --> 00:16:05.919 Like that people aren't really seeing what Dagan actually does struggle with. 00:16:06.159 --> 00:16:09.440 I think the 40-year-old me, I probably don't share as much as I used to. 00:16:09.519 --> 00:16:13.039 I and it's simply because I just I don't have the time that I used to. 00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:19.039 And I'm kind of like, oh, you want to see me sitting at my desk for 40 hours straight being stressed out of my mind? 00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:20.639 Like, because that's where I'm at right now. 00:16:20.879 --> 00:16:24.159 Like I've shared a photo before being like, as you can see, I have not moved. 00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:25.519 I've got two coffee cups. 00:16:25.679 --> 00:16:27.919 I had a a vodka shot glass. 00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:31.120 Like, I know, I was like, this is the day as it progressed. 00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:33.840 This is my my raid of beverages. 00:16:34.240 --> 00:16:35.519 This is where we went through the day. 00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:36.799 And I haven't eaten. 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:40.639 Yeah, I've had crackers and hummus in the last 24 hours, and that's it. 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:44.799 So there's um, you know, you don't share that because you don't have the time. 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:53.519 So when you're in that moment, and I think whether it's perfectionism or a high achiever, you really put a focus on what needs to be done in that moment. 00:16:53.600 --> 00:17:03.679 And it's I it's like this funny irony in that, you know, you might be really disciplined and you master that task at hand if that's a priority, but you often then let other things

go. 00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:14.160 And so when I'm in that work mode and I do have deadlines and the pressure with work, I find I can get really anxious and start, you know, second guessing myself. 00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:17.279 Maybe it's a female with a bit of the imposter syndrome as well. 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:17.759 Yeah. 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:21.839 But I can get let anxiety creep in most definitely. 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.000 And it's probably something I don't share a lot of. 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:29.279 I'll joke around about it on socials, being like, you know, the odd little meme that you'll reshare and whatnot. 00:17:29.519 --> 00:17:29.680 Yeah. 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:31.920 But it's almost like you make it a light-hearted motion. 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:32.880 It's low-hearted mode. 00:17:33.119 --> 00:17:33.680 It's a light-hearted. 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:39.759 I don't just sit there and yeah, go through and explain it all, which maybe at times I should, but it's also the timing of it. 00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:43.359 It's like, how when do you have the time to stop and share that? 00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:46.880 Because in that moment, you're not wanting to see anyone do anything. 00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:49.759 I kind of like close myself off to everyone. 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:52.720 So my close friends will know Odegan's having a moment. 00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:58.079 She has, she's not responding to my texts, she's not responding to my calls, she's in pure work mode. 00:17:58.240 --> 00:18:02.160 Three months later, I'll come back and be like, hey, let's play, let's have fun. 00:18:02.480 --> 00:18:09.440 I was gonna say, when you were at your most anxious self, like what would that look like? 00:18:09.759 --> 00:18:16.480 Look, I I think all my life I've suffered with a bit of anxiety, and it is something that I believe runs in our family. 00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:27.599 And I think it comes from being high achievers, perfectionists, liking that control and having that imposter syndrome as well, just being like I feel like you always have something to prove. 00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:36.240 I think being a female in a male-dominated career or position to, I feel like I'm never quite good enough. 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:40.559 And you know, it's I remember the first time going into court and just being terrified. 00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:54.240 Like the counsel on the other side is playing golf with the judge, and there's me, 24 years old, blonde hair, all of you know, 50 some kgs, like coming in, being like, it's scary. 00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:59.519 And it's just being like, they're joking around, they're you know, in their 40s or 50s at the time. 00:18:59.680 --> 00:19:04.319 So I still go back to those years being like, how can I prove myself? 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:07.680 And I'm like had to keep working to prove myself, be better than I was. 00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:11.759 But then I'm also always second-guessing myself because I do really care. 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:14.480 I care about my clients, I care what I'm doing. 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:22.319 And I was talking about with my husband about this the other day, and I was saying, Oh, a couple of years ago I had to pick up like an old contract I had done. 00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:25.519 I'm like, some of my word choices are like, what was I even saying? 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:26.880 And my husband was laughing. 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.960 It's like, but everyone would do that. 00:19:29.119 --> 00:19:36.240 If you, you know, you do your best with what you know and what you have at that time, and that's all you can do. 00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:41.920 And so there's no point reminiscing on the past and what you should have done because you can't control it. 00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:44.720 But it's telling my brain to stop doing that. 00:19:44.799 --> 00:19:45.599 That's the hard part. 00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:50.960 So the beauty in getting older, I think you start to realize that everyone is fucking winging it. 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:59.359 Like everyone, like even the lawyers that I'm up against is quite often the cockiest of the cocky ones that I'm like, they've got no clue what they're talking about here. 00:19:59.519 --> 00:20:02.240 Or they're truly just, you know, fake it till you make it. 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:07.920 And um, so I've really learned that we're all in the same boat, and it does like help me. 00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:26.880 It's not always calming me in the middle of the night when you wake up having a dream about it, but I've ha I have been able to sit back now and really reflect and be like, no, I'm I know I'm doing the best that I can, and I know I'm, you know, assisting the clients I can in the best way possible, and it is helping with my anxiety. 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:35.039 But there has been moments where, like I'd say two to three times a year, it can be quite debilitating where it just gets to me. 00:20:35.119 --> 00:20:41.440 And even if I work through it in my brain that I'm like, no, I'm fine, like there's no lions chasing you, Dagan, you're okay. 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:45.680 But you could just like, I can't eat, I can't sleep, yep. 00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.000 Literally cannot keep anything down. 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:49.119 Your training stops. 00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:58.319 I've had like muscle sease, like just being so worked up, and then I'll just take some time for me, a couple days, and then finally I'm like, okay, I come through, I'm good. 00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:00.559 My husband's like, you really need to get help for this. 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:02.240 So I do get help for that. 00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:12.960 We are there now, but um, it's taken me a really long time to come to terms with being like, okay, this isn't normal, and it's okay to get outside assistance where needed. 00:21:13.200 --> 00:21:14.160 Yeah, yeah. 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:18.000 I have two threads of thought of

everything that you were just saying. 00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:24.480 One, my very first podcast intro episode that I recorded was so bad. 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:27.039 So I look back and go, What was I doing? 00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:28.160 It's embarrassing, right? 00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:28.559 Yeah. 00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:36.559 So when you said I was looking back and reading, you know, what I wrote and the words that I use, and you're going, Oh my gosh, what was I thinking? 00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:37.839 I agree with you. 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:41.599 You just kind of wing it and you just get better with experience. 00:21:41.839 --> 00:21:45.119 Um, I always say, you're not gonna start perfect. 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:46.640 You just have to start. 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:59.759 My other question or my other uh thought that I was just like ruminating on just then was you mentioned being, you know, again, this 24 year old beautiful, petite woman. 00:22:01.119 --> 00:22:04.960 In the courtroom up against these, you know, middle-aged white men. 00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:05.519 Yeah. 00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:19.200 Was there, did you ever experience like negative comments or any misogyny in your career because you were a woman and beautiful? 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:19.680 Yeah. 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:21.680 I think, you know what? 00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:25.759 I've actually had a pretty good experience, a pretty positive experience for the most part. 00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:28.480 But I would say in the first three, four years. 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:32.000 So probably when I was at my youngest in my career, like I graduated, I was 24. 00:22:32.400 --> 00:22:35.359 I think I was in the court time court book at 24. 00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:35.759 Yeah. 00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:37.680 24, 25, 26. 00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:45.200 There was definitely a few moments where you knew the counsel on the other side, the solicitors on the other side, they're playing you. 00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:46.799 And they're like, they're having fun. 00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:49.599 They see this junior solicitor come in. 00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:52.400 And I mean, it would be entertaining, right? 00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:54.559 Being like, you can see how nervous they are. 00:22:54.640 --> 00:23:00.720 And I don't think they're necessarily intending to make you feel horrible by any means. 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:07.039 But yeah, there was a few moments where you could tell that they were trying to make life very difficult for you in that moment. 00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:07.440 Yeah. 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:15.200 Um, but in the same breath, having those experiences, it taught you that it's like, okay, I just gotta prove myself. 00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:17.279 I gotta be better than I was yesterday. 00:23:17.359 --> 00:23:22.559 I gotta go in there and own it and be confident and just yeah, really prepare, be ready for it. 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.160 And I think that's what made me good at what I do as well. 00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:28.319 So today I'm really fortunate. 00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:30.720 I've got like such a beautiful work environment. 00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:35.680 I we work from home, got an amazing team, everyone has the same values. 00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:38.640 We've got a great mentor leader in the firm. 00:23:38.720 --> 00:23:39.839 He's just fabulous. 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:42.000 So, you know, everything worked out. 00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:42.640 So that's good. 00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:48.880 For the people that are listening in there, you know, might be experiencing these same symptoms. 00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:55.599 What could we tell them or what could you give them in terms of advice around what you're doing? 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:58.319 I think you have to do what works for you. 00:23:58.480 --> 00:24:02.799 So there's no set game plan for anyone in particular. 00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:05.119 Um, I've tried a number of things, most definitely. 00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:10.160 Like I've, you know, done all the books and the reading and I take care of myself. 00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:19.119 I train, I eat well, I go in the sauna at night, I try not to have the phone on me before bed, all those little things to try and lessen anxiety. 00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:24.319 But some days I am working till midnight and you are at a screen, and that's all you can think about when you go to bed. 00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:26.640 Um, so I did resort to outside help. 00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:43.920 So I've gone to, you know, you go to the GP, I've gone to a psychologist working with them, and just helping with your ability to work through the things that go on in your brain that you can't quite control, and then learning to let go of it and you know, coping mechanisms as well. 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:46.640 So when things do come up, you're better able to handle it. 00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:47.440 Yeah, yeah. 00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:54.640 I really like all those like little, little day-to-day things uh that kind of accumulate to be a bigger help. 00:24:55.119 --> 00:24:55.519 And it does. 00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:01.599 Like I'm a such a firm believer in training good food, but also that downtime. 00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:12.799 And I think I find anyway, when I'm really anxious and I've got a lot on my plate, that's probably where I'm not the greatest of humans in terms of my patience with the children as well. 00:25:13.039 --> 00:25:21.119 Like, you know, when they're, Mom, I want this, and you're like trying to work through a hundred and some page contract and you're stressed because you got to get a response to the other side. 00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:27.440 And then, you know, your husband's like, Oh, you're not paying any attention to me and wants to have a conversation, you're kind of like, I'm busy. 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:34.640 Um, but I find if you do actually take a second and you like remembering work is work, it will be there tomorrow.

00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:36.960 And I found like my husband's really good. 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:40.160 He's one of those, he's very grounded, very level-headed. 00:25:40.400 --> 00:25:43.599 If he said he was stressed, I'd probably like the world is ending. 00:25:43.759 --> 00:25:45.599 If he is stressed, it's over. 00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:47.759 So fortunately, he doesn't get stressed. 00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:49.440 And um, it brings me back down. 00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:51.440 So he's really good for me in that sense too. 00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:56.079 But I do find when we escape, even when I don't want it and fight against it. 00:25:56.240 --> 00:26:02.319 But if he's like, let's just go get a dinner together, let's go go to the beach, go for a swim, just you and me. 00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:04.079 Those little things really help. 00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:07.200 And it's just like, you don't have to talk about it, we have to work through it all. 00:26:07.359 --> 00:26:10.240 He doesn't say you're right or wrong, you shouldn't feel like this. 00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:17.039 It's just like, get away from it, take a break, recharge, and then I feel so much better getting back into it. 00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:20.000 People that are listening and they're going, oh my gosh, this is me. 00:26:20.160 --> 00:26:21.599 I'm a high achiever. 00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:22.960 I don't like to sit still. 00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:25.200 I put so much pressure on myself. 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:29.200 Sometimes I'll go, you know, all day with not eating. 00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.960 Um, you know, what would you want her to know? 00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:46.240 Seeing as you have navigated through all those different phases in your life of, you know, the pressure and the control um and the anxiety and yeah, the achievement. 00:26:46.480 --> 00:26:50.000 Like what advice could you give to that person that's nodding along? 00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:56.079 In life, especially as women, we're always told, you know, you you want to be ambitious right now and but don't be too ambitious. 00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:58.960 And you wanna be, you know, you wanna be the best mom. 00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:01.519 You're gonna be totally present with them all the time. 00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:03.839 And then you're gonna be an amazing wife. 00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:08.960 Um, you're gonna eat super healthy, you're gonna cook these, you know, meals from scratch. 00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:10.799 You're gonna do all these things. 00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:16.240 And then we put so much pressure on ourselves to be and do it all. 00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:19.759 And I spent years trying. 00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:24.960 And do not too bad, I might admit, like until you don't. 00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:26.559 You burn out, and you will burn out. 00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:30.559 So if you honestly think that you can be and do all of that, you can't. 00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:32.720 There's it's physically impossible. 00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:34.240 And trust me, I've tried. 00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:40.000 You will burn out, and I I find I have a burnout like every three to six months, there'll be a crash. 00:27:40.240 --> 00:27:45.440 And so I've just kind of sat back and realized that it's like, okay, what are my values? 00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:50.319 And really looking at like, what do you value mine are time with my family, time with my children? 00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:59.119 And so if those are my values, then it's like, okay, well, maybe that does mean working a bit less because I don't need to go on, you know, I don't need to buy the next big thing. 00:27:59.200 --> 00:28:00.079 I don't need to do all that. 00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:01.519 I need the time with the kids. 00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:07.519 So it's kind of just redirecting where you want your time spent and understanding where your values lie. 00:28:07.920 --> 00:28:11.359 And then where you can, outsourcing what is important to you. 00:28:11.519 --> 00:28:18.240 Like you can't cook the meals from scratch and be at the sporting event and have your career all at the same time. 00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:19.680 You you really can't. 00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:20.960 I wish that we could. 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:22.240 I know, I know. 00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:28.640 So I'm I've got really good at outsourcing and I know it's a luxury, but I'm I put a lot of focus now into my career. 00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:38.799 So then it's like I can get assistance with other things so I can be at my kids' events and be with them like wherever they need me, I'll be there. 00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:39.119 Yeah. 00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:44.240 Um, and I've redirected my life so I can work from home or work on the go. 00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:48.960 So like tonight I'll have hail at basketball for an hour and I'll have my laptop in hand. 00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:53.680 So it's just it's okay to pivot, it's okay to change pace, it's okay to redirect. 00:28:53.759 --> 00:29:02.559 And I think it's just seasons in life and figuring out, okay, at this moment in time, what works for us and what doesn't, and try to figure out solutions for those times. 00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:05.839 And then as I get older, all that changes as well. 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:10.079 Like what you can and cannot do, it changes, and your values might change as well. 00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:15.680 Um so any decision you make today doesn't mean that's where you're at for the rest of your life. 00:29:15.759 --> 00:29:17.519 It's just a season, point in time. 00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:18.480 Yeah. 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:25.759 With your law career now, you've mentioned that you're predominantly working with women now. 00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:26.559 Is that correct? 00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:28.240 I work with a lot of women. 00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:36.079 Well, I've worked with both sexes or all sexes, but um, I work with a lot of women which I've loved that have come from social media.

00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:48.640 And they're mums that are, you know, started new businesses, which has been really cool that I can assist them in their startups and their ventures and their new careers or their pivots that they've made. 00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:50.480 So yeah, it's been it's been really fun. 00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:54.640 And then to watch their brands online grow, and yeah, it's been great. 00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:56.160 I've I really enjoy that part. 00:29:56.559 --> 00:30:02.960 Yeah, so it's like now you're giving back to almost the women that you supported me in the beginning. 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:03.279 Yes. 00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:04.079 And it's been fun. 00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:11.440 And a lot of them have like, you know, I followed you for years when Helen was a baby, and this is my new baby, and like starting this project. 00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:15.200 And yeah, so previously I did have a couple businesses as well. 00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:21.119 So, you know, I know that space inside and out, just not from a legal point of view, but actually running a business. 00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:22.000 What does it take? 00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:24.640 What happens, and making those commercial decisions. 00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:30.160 So yeah, it's been it's been really neat to watch these ladies just like take a risk. 00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:31.359 They've same thing. 00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:32.559 They're like, this is my value. 00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:33.680 I want to be able to work from home. 00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:35.920 I want to work with have my children around. 00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:40.720 And they've started up their own businesses, and yeah, they've they've done really well. 00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:41.519 Amazing. 00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:42.079 Yeah. 00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:48.160 You're you mentioned that you're not as active on social media anymore. 00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:50.079 I go through ebbs and flows. 00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:52.240 There'll be days where you will not hear from me at all. 00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:59.200 And then next time I'm like excited, I have time or I'm on holidays, and then I love sharing it all, but definitely not. 00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:01.359 Yeah, definitely not that I was towards. 00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:02.720 What's your current audience? 00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:06.400 So at the beginning it was a lot of people that were following your fitness journey. 00:31:06.559 --> 00:31:06.720 Yeah. 00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:09.599 And now you're back doing your full-time lore. 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:12.880 I think my audience have stuck around. 00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:25.440 Like, I think it's the same, a lot of the same people, which is really neat because they're like, you know, I've been there since before you had Harlow, or since but when you were doing your first comps, or whatever it might be. 00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:34.160 And a lot of them are the young mums and they're still following me along because I've still that couple years younger, and yeah, it's been really neat. 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:37.759 Like we've kind of grown up together in a weird way. 00:31:38.720 --> 00:31:40.960 What is your favorite exercise? 00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:46.720 Oh, everyone's going to make fun of me on this because everyone hates running, but I love running. 00:31:46.799 --> 00:31:47.440 I'm a runner. 00:31:47.599 --> 00:31:51.920 I've done long distance running since forever, to be honest. 00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:58.000 And there's nothing better, and I think it's my personality as well, than going for a run, de stress. 00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:00.079 What's your favorite meal? 00:32:00.319 --> 00:32:00.640 Oh. 00:32:01.680 --> 00:32:04.160 I am so not a foodie person. 00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:07.599 Like, you know, those people that love food and think about the next meals all the time. 00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:11.440 Like the last thing I I want to even think about is making dinner. 00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:13.359 I'm like, the kids come home, they're like, what's for dinner? 00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:15.359 I'm like, kill me. 00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:16.319 I hate food. 00:32:16.480 --> 00:32:20.559 Um but if I was to go out, I'm like, I am Thai. 00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:24.160 I love what is it, the hot chili chicken. 00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:25.119 Yum. 00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:26.160 I know, any Thai. 00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:27.759 Thai Vietnamese. 00:32:28.559 --> 00:32:31.680 But don't ask me to make it because I'll food poison everyone around me. 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:32.720 I am not a chef. 00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:36.240 I'm I literally food poisoned like my entire year 11. 00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:40.000 Like I'm not my husband keeps me out of the kitchen even. 00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:40.960 Like it's bad. 00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:41.759 Perfect. 00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:42.799 Was that planned? 00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:43.839 No, I know. 00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:45.680 Actually, it worked out well. 00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:48.079 Coffee order. 00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:50.400 Long black, like my soul. 00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:53.680 Snack on the go. 00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:55.279 Love a protein bar. 00:32:55.519 --> 00:32:56.799 But what is your favorite? 00:32:57.920 --> 00:32:58.480 Easy. 00:32:58.720 --> 00:32:59.359 Combat. 00:32:59.519 --> 00:33:01.119 They've got the vegan protein bars. 00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:02.480 You got the honeycomb one. 00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:04.000 It's my all-time favorite. 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:04.960 Full disclosure. 00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:06.640 Probably in it. 00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:08.160 But it's amazing. 00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:09.200 It is so good. 00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:14.000 Actually, um, Volk, he's one of the best UFC fighters at the moment. 00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:19.200 He's a part owner in as well, and he has his own Vulk bar at the moment, and it's in all the 7-Elevens. 00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:24.319 And it was like 7-Elevens highest-selling protein bar, which is really cool. 00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:25.599 Light it up with Dr. 00:33:25.680 --> 00:33:26.079 Larry Good. 00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:27.119 I should have got you some. 00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:28.640 I'm bringing you some next time. 00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:29.519 Yes, please. 00:33:29.759 --> 00:33:31.119 I was gonna say, light it up with Dr. 00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:33.119 Lara Good sponsored by Yeah, I know. 00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:35.119 Next time we will I'll make that happen. 00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:35.519 Yeah. 00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:39.200 Combat protein bars for all of the fast women out there. 00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:40.559 They are really good though. 00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:40.960 Yeah. 00:33:41.119 --> 00:33:44.319 I have to like stop my daughter from eating them because she'll eat them like they're going out of style. 00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:45.920 I'm like, please, no more. 00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:53.599 So light it up means something different to every guest that comes on. 00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:59.200 And so I'm gonna ask you when you think of the term light it up, what does it mean to you? 00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:08.159 I think being a true self, being the best you, it doesn't mean completely the opposite of the perfectionism part. 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:20.719 I'm just meaning authentically you, being happy in the present moment, being grateful for everything that's around you and what you currently have, and always striving, yeah, for to reach your own goals, whatever they may be. 00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:22.239 So I love it. 00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:26.239 To people, if they want to follow you, where can they find you? 00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:30.639 Instagram would be my most active, so just Degan underscore coin. 00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:35.199 If you want me on legal side, it's career legal.au. 00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:36.239 Amazing. 00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:37.360 Thank you so much for coming. 00:34:37.519 --> 00:34:38.400 Thanks for having me. 00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:39.519 That's it fun. 00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:40.239 Yay!