Full Transcript for Lessons in Bridge Burning: Sharon Osbourne

the bow movement. 00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:24.159 Uh I was at MTV. 00:03:24.719 --> 00:03:30.479 Working at MTV News with Kurt Loader and John Norris, though all those guys. 00:03:31.439 --> 00:03:34.560 And I was the metal guy. 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:48.240 If it was Marilyn Manson, if it was Disturbed, if it was Metallica, if it was OPath, if it was any band that was, you know, some a little heavy, deftones. 00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:51.759 Soundgarden. 00:03:52.319 --> 00:03:54.560 These were the bands that I covered. 00:03:55.120 --> 00:04:04.159 It was Height of Emo, so, you know, we had bands like Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance coming into the studio all the time to have interviews. 00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:15.520 Anyway, so I started working there in 2005, March of 2005, and you know, one of the biggest tours every summer at that time was the Ozfest. 00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:20.720 The the tour that's named after, you know, the Ozman himself. 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:31.199 I remember that year leading up to the announcement of who was going to be on the lineup. 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:35.040 I had heard some rumors, but I didn't really push. 00:04:35.199 --> 00:04:37.680 I wasn't pushing for information. 00:04:38.240 --> 00:04:41.920 Or maybe I was pushing, but everyone pushed back. 00:04:45.199 --> 00:05:00.879 I wasn't trying to figure out who the lineup was before it was announced, and I wasn't going to run an article on MTVnews.com without having confirmation of this lineup, but I was gonna wait. 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:03.040 I was gonna wait until it was official. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:05.680 That year comes and goes. 00:05:05.759 --> 00:05:13.199 I know I covered OzFest, I think it kicked off in Seattle that year, either Seattle or Massachusetts. 00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:37.360 Um and you know, I I was tight with some of these bands, so uh you know, I was hanging out backstage, I was uh, you know, on the tour buses with some of these guys, hanging out, smoking weed, drinking rock star energy, uh, and and and and warm beer. 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:43.920 I remember I was backstage and I think it was the red chord was playing. 00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:51.759 I mean, that's that's where my mind is going, the red chord, but it might have been a different band. 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:55.279 Um I'm backstage, I see Sharon Osborne. 00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:56.079 There she is. 00:05:56.240 --> 00:06:02.560 Oh my god, it's the it's the chick who popped out Jack and and what's her name? 00:06:02.879 --> 00:06:04.639 Oh god, what is her fucking name? 00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:10.560 Wow, I can't remember her name. 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:11.199 Wow. 00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:13.839 Oh, Kelly, Kelly, sorry, Kelly Osborne. 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:30.160 Kelly Osborne and Jack, this is the woman who's from from whose loins spurred these these two children, who are completely talented and and and and deserve all the success that they have in their own right, on their

own merit. 00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:37.279 Um so yeah, I see Sharon Osborne. 00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:39.279 Bow movement. 00:06:41.120 --> 00:06:46.160 I recall thinking she's tiny, oh my god, like maybe 5'2. 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:50.399 Shorter than my mom, and my mom's short. 00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:53.439 So I remember introducing myself. 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:58.399 I I said, hello, I, you know, I'm Chris Harris, I'm the metal guy at MTV News. 00:06:58.720 --> 00:07:06.720 You know, I I work with Jamie Jostaff or Headbanger's Ball, and and you know Jamie, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. 00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:08.959 Small talk. 00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:10.879 That went down like a non-snickers. 00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:14.399 Everything went fine. 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:20.879 She said, It was a pleasure meeting you, and off she went. 00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:25.920 The pleasure was all mine, mate. 00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:28.800 What are you doing, man? 00:07:29.439 --> 00:07:30.079 So yeah. 00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:42.000 Sharon Osborne goes away, she's surrounded by like five people who are like, you know, I don't know if they were bodyguards, but they were definitely handlers of some sort, and they leave the backstage area, and I'm feeling pretty good about myself. 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:54.319 I remember that night I wrote up uh an article for MTV News about Ozfest and how how it was a successful kickoff, and uh and yeah, I moved on with my life. 00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:55.839 Year goes by. 00:07:57.120 --> 00:07:59.439 Sorry, one Osfest goes by. 00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:17.439 It was my third OzFest that I was maybe around March, kind of needling some of the heavy metal PR people about, you know, if their bands were gonna be on the on the on the lineup. 00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:21.199 I did this in several ways. 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:22.879 I asked about tour dates. 00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:26.560 I said, you know, is this band gonna be on tour in July? 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:31.120 Because that's when Ozfest generally uh kicked off. 00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:41.440 Um also a lot of these bands would book shows like off-show, off-day shows around Ozfest. 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:49.200 So you'd see like the same three bands playing uh in Seattle the day after OzFest leaves. 00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:56.000 Uh you'd see those same three bands playing in San Diego uh like a week later. 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:08.320 Um and if you if you're a good tour manager, you're going to try to make every trip to every venue as as tight as possible. 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:18.320 So, you know, Seattle, Sacramento, uh, probably San Francisco, LA, San Diego. 00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:42.240 Um so yeah, you figure if the band's playing, if these three bands are playing in Seattle uh the day after OzFest, it's supposed to kick off, and then they're playing no other shows until a show in San Diego the day after OzFest uh passes

through, it was a safe assumption. 00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:44.399 So then I would I would call their publicists. 00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:48.960 I would call these bands publicists and be like, hey, is Job for a cowboy gonna be on the lineup? 00:09:49.039 --> 00:09:54.159 I remember they were heavily rumored as one of the bands that was gonna be in the lineup. 00:09:54.480 --> 00:10:02.879 Uh is uh five-finger death punch gonna be on the fucking lineup. 00:10:03.759 --> 00:10:11.919 I was trying to get the I was trying to get the Ozfest lineup before it was official, and I was going to report it if I had it tightly. 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:15.440 If, you know, if I had it basically on lockdown. 00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:27.440 If I thought that I had the actual lineup and that all these publicists had basically told me the truth and gave me legitimate information without citing any of them, I would have run with this information. 00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:29.360 I don't I don't recommend that to anybody. 00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:44.240 Well, I guess some of these publicists were a little annoyed by my needling and my my my intrusive questions, so they contacted Sharon Osborne's office. 00:10:44.639 --> 00:10:47.759 Alliance Ball should be in my mouth. 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:53.279 Now at the time, uh we're gonna say 2006. 00:10:53.759 --> 00:10:55.519 No, sorry, 2007. 00:10:56.480 --> 00:11:06.080 2007, uh, when this all was going down, the company Viacom, which owned MTV, was run by a woman named Van Toffler. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:13.200 Van Toffler. 00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:16.799 It's quite a fucking name. 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:35.120 So I get into work one day, and my boss Robert is like he calls me into his office and he goes, why is Van Toffler asking me about you? 00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:40.639 And I said, I don't know. 00:11:41.279 --> 00:11:43.679 Cause I'm awesome, maybe? 00:11:43.919 --> 00:11:46.399 Cause I fucking rule, maybe? 00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:48.639 Um, I don't know. 00:11:48.799 --> 00:11:50.639 I couldn't I couldn't think of an answer. 00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:52.159 Uh I was just doing my job. 00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:55.519 I was trying to get information to report to the people. 00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:57.519 That's what I do. 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:00.399 I uncover shit. 00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:20.559 Prior to this, I could go to any show that any Ozfest show I could I was getting a ticket to very easily. 00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:24.559 They were giving me backstage passes, they were giving me free stuff. 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:50.559 Uh and then, you know, if there was uh, you know, if if some Aussie related act was going on tour, say Zach Wilde or something, I could get tickets to those shows too, because I was tight with, you know, uh Sharon Osborne and that management company, and uh because, you know, I had done some good uh stories about uh what they were up to and what they were doing. 00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:58.320 And there was always then there was that lovely interaction that I had with her in 2005, during the summer of 2005. 00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:06.320 So I didn't think Van Toffler was getting calls from fucking Sharon Osborne about me. 00:13:06.720 --> 00:13:10.879 I mean, yeah. 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:12.799 What the fuck? 00:13:13.600 --> 00:13:14.399 But you know what? 00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:18.960 Sharon Osborne has gotten to where she is because she goes to the fucking top. 00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:26.320 She doesn't fuck around with the middlemen, she doesn't fuck around with the people on the bottom, she goes right to the top when she wants something. 00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:30.559 And that's a lesson we should all learn from uh Miss Sharon Osborne. 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:33.519 Which now she's available. 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:40.879 Uh give me a call, Sharon, if you're uh if you're looking for dinner and and some dancing. 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:42.399 I'll take you out. 00:13:42.639 --> 00:13:44.240 We'll do the two-step. 00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:59.120 So it turned out that uh, you know, yeah, Sharon Osborne had called Van Toffler's uh personal line and uh was demanding my head. 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:09.519 And uh demanding that I be fired and uh that I be shut down before I ruined their big announcement. 00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:11.120 Which made me know. 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:13.200 I knew at that point I was close. 00:14:13.360 --> 00:14:15.279 I was close to getting the actual lineup. 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:17.440 I knew they were fucking worried. 00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:21.200 Uh so yeah. 00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:24.399 Uh my boss backed me, obviously. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:34.720 Um you know, he told Vantoffler that I was a good reporter, that I was doing my job, that I was, you know, sometimes uh a little uh zealous with my coverage. 00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:39.600 And uh I avoided getting the axe. 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:55.919 It wouldn't be long before I'd be laid off by MTV News, but uh I think it was yeah, I think it was probably eight months after that I was laid off. 00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:57.200 Uh man. 00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:00.480 Talk about losing your dream job. 00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:05.360 Yeah, so when I was laid off, I didn't blame Sharon Osborne, layoffs happen. 00:15:05.759 --> 00:15:09.039 Even my boss was laid off, this guy Robert that I mentioned. 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:20.480 But yeah, Sharon Osborne did make telephone calls to try to try to silence my voice. 00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:27.200 And I remember that summer when I did cover OzFest, I had to sneak in because they didn't want me in. 00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:28.399 I burned a bridge. 00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:30.240 I burned a bridge with Sharon Osborne. 00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:35.759 I I was fucking around too much, I was digging into her fucking business and I burned a bridge. 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:49.200 I remember one of the bands, I think it was It Dies Today, had to like sneak me

in as like one of their fucking crew members, and they gave me a pass so I could walk around all day, but I had to hide my notebook in my back pocket. 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:53.279 Luckily, I had a long shirt on, so uh, you know, I could do that. 00:15:53.440 --> 00:16:08.240 But half the time I was running into the uh porta potty so I could actually take notes on what I'd just seen in the pit and and just the whole environment, the whole uh scenario, the whole like even the merchants there, everything was interesting about Ozfest. 00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:08.799 I will say that. 00:16:09.039 --> 00:16:10.879 Ozfest was always a good time. 00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:13.840 I never did, I never had a bad time at Ozfest. 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:16.720 So yeah. 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:19.279 I have no problem with Sharon Osborne. 00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:21.120 I have no problem with Ozzie Osborne. 00:16:21.200 --> 00:16:29.519 Obviously, Ozzy Osborne uh was integral to the creation of uh a genre of music that I fucking happen to love. 00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:34.559 I do have a problem with Jack Osborne though. 00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:39.279 And uh that's where this story takes a little bit of a turn. 00:16:46.559 --> 00:16:47.600 Let me try a time! 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:59.679 If anyone I'm ever talking about disputes anything that I'm saying, come forward. 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:02.799 Come forward and say this didn't happen. 00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:07.039 I'm telling you, none of them will, because this is all true. 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:08.720 This is my life. 00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:10.240 This happened to me. 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:20.240 Happened because of the stupid decisions I made to try to get the Osvest lineup before uh before it was actually finalized. 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:25.839 So yeah, that was my uh that was my fuck up. 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:36.799 Did I think at all that Sharon Osborne was gonna try to have me fired just because I was trying to figure out what bands were gonna be playing or stupid tour? 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:40.160 No! I had no idea that was gonna happen. 00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:42.880 You think I would have fucking done that? 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:45.359 I had no idea. 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:57.039 I came dangerously close to losing my job, and and and and and my that's probably where my disdain for the Osborne family started. 00:17:57.519 --> 00:17:59.200 Again, love Ozzie. 00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:05.519 Sharon's okay, but Jack, me and Jack have shit. 00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:20.400 Again. 00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:27.920 After MTV, it was a couple of years where I worked for AOL on a website called Noise Creep. 00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:30.480 It was a metal-based website. 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:35.440 I was part of a podcast that uh oh, what was it called? 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:36.240 The creep show. 00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:36.640 Yeah. 00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:43.119 It's part of a podcast on AOL called The Creep Show, which was a you know, part of Noise Creep. 00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:53.119 And uh, so yeah, uh that the way I parted ways with AOL is another bridge-burning story that I'll have to say for another time. 00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:57.519 But after AOL, I didn't know what to do really. 00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:01.200 I had some book ideas and proposals I was working on. 00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:05.039 But in 2010, I decided to launch my own website. 00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:08.640 It was a heavy metal website called Gunshy Assassin. 00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:15.119 It was up for five years, and long story short, uh, the juice wasn't worth the squeeze for me. 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:22.000 I maybe made$1.50 an hour uh with the the amount of work I put into it. 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:25.359 And I tried to sell t-shirts, that didn't really work. 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:31.200 Uh, I couldn't even really get people to fucking suggest their friends follow me on Facebook. 00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:32.240 It was fucking weird. 00:19:32.319 --> 00:19:36.400 Like people really love the website, but they didn't want to fucking do anything for it. 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:38.240 They didn't want to like fight for it. 00:19:38.559 --> 00:19:48.160 On August 28th, 2013, I ran an article on uh Gunshi SS and I found it through the Wayback Machine. 00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:52.880 And this this, by the way, is three days after my birthday. 00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:58.160 This would have made me 3000. 00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:00.960 I s I I happen to suck at math. 00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:04.319 We're in two right now we're in 2026, okay? 00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:08.400 So what you gotta do is you gotta you gotta go backwards. 00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:14.480 Minus 10 from 2026, that's 2016. 00:20:14.799 --> 00:20:15.119 Okay. 00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:21.440 So from there, you gotta go, how many is it from 16 to 13? 00:20:21.519 --> 00:20:22.400 That would be three. 00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:24.559 So 13 years ago. 00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:32.319 And uh that would have made me 37. 00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:36.160 Yahtzee! Okay, see, that's how long it takes. 00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:39.279 Like, you should see me at the fucking grocery store trying to figure shit out. 00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:42.319 So, yeah, so I had Gunshi Assassin going on. 00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:44.160 People used to email me all the time. 00:20:44.319 --> 00:20:49.039 Sometimes bands, if I hated on them, they'd they'd they'd send me messages of hate. 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:51.759 Uh, I'd get death threats from people sometimes. 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:52.880 It was fun. 00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:59.200 And one day Jack Osborne decided to send me a little email. 00:20:59.519 --> 00:21:06.880 Now, this came after several years of me basically calling him out for being a Nepo baby. 00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:18.960 I thought it was funny that basically every project that Jack Osborne had anything to do with ultimately came back to his dad and his mom.

00:21:19.680 --> 00:21:35.359 And and so, you know, when you're on social media bragging about this new show that you've got and it's about your dad, like, well, duh, of course you got that fucking job, you Nepo baby son of a bitch. 00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:48.640 Apparently it took Jack three years of Google alerts to figure out that I was, you know, ripping him a new asshole online, let's say. 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:56.240 So he decided to write me an email, and I shared that with my uh my readers. 00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:59.839 I'm gonna share this on uh on social media. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:06.720 Social media, so you guys could read the whole thing, because I'm not gonna read uh the entire email that he sent me. 00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:07.920 It was very long. 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:12.559 He was very, very upset. 00:22:13.039 --> 00:22:20.079 Uh goddamn motherfucking shady cocksucking son of a bee, can I get a fucking A. 00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:30.480 He wrote, uh, as far as you thinking I'm talentless, well, that's purely a matter of perspective and opinion. 00:22:30.640 --> 00:22:35.599 And as a citizen born into a free society, you are entitled to have such a privilege. 00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:38.480 It's made from a monkey gum. 00:22:38.640 --> 00:22:43.920 Yeah, no, I had to I had to correct this guy's like spelling mistakes and shit. 00:22:44.079 --> 00:22:46.960 He was he this guy can't write for shit. 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:50.400 He couldn't write his way out of a fucking paper bag. 00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:55.359 He's as sharp as a fucking wet bag of mice, you know what I mean? 00:22:55.599 --> 00:22:57.039 That's right fat stuff. 00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:09.920 So not only am I cut off from the world of Ozzy and Oz Fest and all that shit, I made it ten times worse by going after Jackie O. 00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:18.720 Now, Jack, Jack Osborne, as as he's known because of his last name. 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:22.400 The only reason why you fucking know who he is. 00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:26.799 So he uh I guess for years I was ripping him apart. 00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:40.160 He actually told me in an email that he never really responds to people, like 99.9% of the time, he he said, quote unquote, uh, he doesn't respond to people. 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:51.680 Uh he kind of lets the criticism roll off his back, but he felt, quote unquote, compelled to reach out to me, particularly uh because of how harsh I was. 00:23:53.039 --> 00:24:01.279 Jackie tried to uh 86 my take on him being a uh a Nepo baby, a privileged little Nepo baby. 00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:09.119 Uh and he tried comparing my middle class parents to Sharon Osbourne and Ozzie Osborne. 00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:21.839 He argued that, like my parents, Sharon and Ozzie did everything they could in their power to make sure that their kids succeeded and had great lives. 00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:28.640 The distinction, however, is that uh It's made from monkey gum. 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:31.680 My dad was a police detective. 00:24:33.839 --> 00:24:40.400 He wasn't, you know, one of the pioneering voices of uh a musical genre. 00:24:40.559 --> 00:24:51.680 He wasn't, you know, instantly recognizable the world over if you said his name and only his first name. 00:24:52.640 --> 00:24:54.559 My mom didn't even really work. 00:24:54.720 --> 00:25:01.039 I mean, my dad was pulling in enough when we were kids that my mom could stay home and watch out for us and take care of us. 00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:09.359 Uh it wasn't really until I was in college that she uh went back and joined the workforce, but you know, you know, I didn't become a cop. 00:25:10.799 --> 00:25:17.839 My parents wanted me to be a cop because you know the benefits are amazing and the pension that comes with it is pretty insane. 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:23.359 So they did push me to to try to become a cop, but uh, it just wasn't in my heart. 00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:31.359 And uh I kind of figured that uh you know, I have a tendency to overreact. 00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:49.680 So, you know, I could have been in Brooklyn in Cheeps at Bay responding to a domestic call, and and someone could have reached into their pocket to get their ID, and I I here I go shooting them 20 times, and I'm on the cover of every newspaper in the country. 00:25:49.839 --> 00:25:50.799 I don't need that. 00:25:51.119 --> 00:25:52.079 Don't need that. 00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:53.119 I know myself. 00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:55.279 I know, I know I would have been a horrible cop. 00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:58.480 I would have I would have been bad lieutenant times two. 00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:12.960 So yeah, despite what my parents wanted me to do, I branched out on my own, you know, and and then I made an I made an identity for myself that was separate from my parents. 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:21.279 And now, even with Ozzie gone, Jackie O's always gonna be Ozzie's son. 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:32.319 And uh his fame will always be tethered to the people who fornicated and and and gave life to him. 00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:39.200 The people who raised him, the people who put him on TV when he was fucking 15 years old. 00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:43.279 And and you know, I remember watching that show, The Osborne's. 00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:47.359 You could tell back then, those both both those kids are fucking brats. 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:51.680 Once you're a brat, it's really hard to go back. 00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:57.440 Um, it's really hard to sort of write the ship after you've been a fucking brat all your life. 00:26:57.680 --> 00:27:03.039 Oh but yeah. 00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:09.519 So yeah, even uh even Jack Osborne came after me, but I uh I had to put him in his place. 00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:16.640 The other thing, other Aussie-related beef that I had uh with my website, Gunshy Assassin, was Little Ozzie. 00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:22.720 Uh, there's a guy named uh, you know, a short-statured gentleman.

00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:28.880 Um I don't know what the proper nomenclature is, so I'm just gonna say vertically challenged. 00:27:29.039 --> 00:27:32.720 Uh he was uh performing as little Ozzie. 00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:38.240 He would dress up as Ozzie, wear the glasses, the sunglasses, the put on a wig. 00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:40.319 He was horrible. 00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:42.880 Terrible impression uh of Ozzie. 00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:44.079 I mean, you know. 00:27:44.559 --> 00:27:57.759 So I would basically anytime he was in the news, I would point out that, you know, other than looking a little like Ozzie, and not really looking like Ozzie at all, uh, the dude couldn't hold a tune. 00:27:58.000 --> 00:27:58.960 He couldn't. 00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:00.480 He couldn't sing. 00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:03.279 And uh, and that's okay. 00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:05.920 A lot of people can't sing. 00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:09.680 There's a lot of shit I can't do, and I don't try to do it. 00:28:10.640 --> 00:28:17.839 Me and little Ozzie went back and forth for a while, and he definitely threatened to beat me up. 00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:18.640 I know that. 00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:19.599 That I can say. 00:28:19.680 --> 00:28:27.279 So I have had a small person, a smaller person, threaten to kick my ass. 00:28:27.519 --> 00:28:29.279 I wouldn't put it past him. 00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:32.000 I am not that good at fighting. 00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:37.440 The only moves I've ever learned from fighting were from taking hits. 00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:40.640 Like, oh, oh, thanks for popping me in the nose. 00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:45.839 I didn't know that would make my eyes water, and then you could punch me in the temple and knock me to the ground. 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:50.559 I'm gonna have to use those moves next time, uh, next time I'm in battle. 00:28:51.359 --> 00:28:53.519 We're in this situation again. 00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:55.680 The Osborns, they don't like me. 00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:58.079 I've never really had any interactions with Kelly. 00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:00.160 I interviewed Ozzy a bunch of times. 00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:04.880 Oddly enough, I understood every single word he said when I was in his presence. 00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:14.640 I remember they took me backstage at Ozfest one year to uh interview him, took me down this long, long hallway uh to his dressing room. 00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:21.039 And as I'm getting closer and closer, I can hear the familiar sounds of caddyshack. 00:29:21.279 --> 00:29:34.240 Wait up, girls, I got a salami, I gotta and uh as we approach the door, his security guard Big Dave opened opened the door, and there's Ozzie laying on the couch like uh like he's in you know posing for penthouse. 00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:42.880 Uh and he's got no shoes on, no, no socks on, and the TV's blaring because the dude can't fucking hear shit. 00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:46.480 I mean, he did ask me to repeat myself a bunch of times during our interview. 00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:56.559 The other thing you don't really know about Ozzie is he used to when he was performing, he'd take a bucket of water and he'd like do the ice bucket challenge on stage. 00:29:56.799 --> 00:30:01.599 Maybe he's the one who invented the ice bucket challenge, but he never had ice in the bucket. 00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:02.880 It was just water. 00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:13.599 The story that I heard from many people in the metal community was that Ozzie had to do that to cover up the fact that he has pissed himself. 00:30:13.920 --> 00:30:20.240 The older I get, the more I sympathize with what Ozzie had to go through. 00:30:21.599 --> 00:30:24.400 Your dick is gonna let you down at some point, guys. 00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:25.680 I'm telling you. 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:28.960 Um ask anybody over the age of 40. 00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:30.640 Your dick is gonna let you down. 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:36.240 Might let you down a lot, actually, but it's definitely gonna let you down a little. 00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:41.680 That article in 2013, that is when I sealed my fate with the Osbornes. 00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:47.039 Um, I was never able to get any interviews with uh Ozzy after that. 00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:50.000 Uh Oz Fest, I couldn't get any tickets to that. 00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:57.200 So basically, I was cut off from anything that had anything to do with Ozzy and his family, and and I was fine with that. 00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:06.880 You know, uh you don't want to burn a bridge, especially if, you know, if Sharon Osbourne kind of takes a liking to you. 00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:16.079 Um but dude, here's the thing is that a lot of times you burn bridges because you're honest, and people can't fucking deal with the truth. 00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:18.400 They don't want to fucking deal with the truth. 00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:21.920 They think the truth is something completely different. 00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:24.880 Um, you know, cognitive dissonance. 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:26.880 Uh they just don't realize it. 00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:30.960 Even even when faced with the fucking truth, they don't want to face the fucking truth. 00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:34.799 And that's uh that's it for this week's episode. 00:31:34.880 --> 00:31:37.039 Thank you very much for checking in and listening. 00:31:37.200 --> 00:31:40.480 And please uh tell all you tell all your friends about us. 00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:45.680 Tell them that lessons and bridge burning is uh is worth their time, worth a listen. 00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:51.680 And next week, with any luck, uh my friend Matt, Matt Potts will be here to co-host. 00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:53.039 We go way back. 00:31:53.279 --> 00:32:04.640 We grew up on Long Island, way out on the east end of Long Island, um, and we've known each other since we were about two inches tall, I'm gonna say. 00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:06.720 Are you fucking serious? 00:32:07.759 --> 00:32:08.400 Yeah. 00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:10.720 I only know this from pictures. 00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:19.759 I don't remember hanging out with him when when we were two inches tall, but uh you guys are awesome. 00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:21.680 I appreciate the support. 00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:24.400 And uh listen to Morphine. 00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:28.160 As long as the baby doesn't touch my stash.