TRANSCRIPT 🔗
Holly Jean Jackson: Stop starting with your pitch. Today in this economy, in this market, more than ever, your relational equity matters the most. And if you are obsessed and focused on just the sales pitch and not building that relationship, you are missing out and leaving a ton of money and opportunity on the table. And most likely you are burning really important bridges that you don't want to be doing. so how do we fix this? Here's the problem. Most outreach begins with a stranger asking a stranger for time. Sound familiar? It's kind of like dating, right? And so if you're asking for that time, that money, or that attention right off the bat, that's not a go-giver mentality. Even a well crafted direct message can feel really transactional when there's no relationship and no intent for. Go give or gain in the messaging. People can feel that and sense that, and they can smell your sales strategy thousands, tens of thousands of miles away, continents away. So the better question to consider and ask yourself is instead, what have I done to build trust before I reach out for attention, money, or a sale? All right. So how does that look like? Well, if we pivot instead, we build relationship equity or relational equity first. That means showing up consistently where the people you want to work with are spending time. In other words, this could be building community, building your collaboration think tank for your business, creating a safe container, a sacred container for your strategic partners. It could be engaging with their ideas. It could be contributing something that's valuable and powerful. And of course, it's also about becoming familiar without immediately asking for anything. Learning about what's important to them. What are their values? What's their vision? What's their legacy? And is there a connection, an introduction, a resource you could offer? That would add tremendous value to that individual. Think about visibility before conversion. Visibility before asking for anything in return. The thing is, law of reciprocity is real. When you add value, you get tremendous value, exponential value. The third thing we're going to talk about today is the stranger to trusted advisor shift. How do you go from the stranger? Because after all, as one of my TEDx fellow speakers shared, we all begin as strangers, right? How do we make that less awkward, less burdensome, more about an opportunity to walk through that door and to shake hands and say, let's do this thing together? Move from who is this person? To I recognize their name and I value their perspective. That's the goal. We want to build that bridge in our outreach, in our strategies, and in the relationships that we're building. Genuine engagement with content, with community creates the context for an eventual one-on-one conversation to build a deeper, more meaningful relationship in business and beyond. The goal isn't to manufacture familiarity, it's to earn that familiarity and that connection. Let's talk next about how to know when the DM makes sense. How to when are we ready for that direct message? Well, a DM is so much more natural when there's already a reason to connect. Whether that's interacting or listening to a podcast episode they recorded or engaging with an article they posted. That makes much more sense than just reaching out and asking for someone. Referencing a conversation, idea, a shared interest, or an interaction creates that open door policy and makes this much more natural, easy, and almost like real life versus, you know, that water cool cooler conversation or that in-person intimacy invitation versus this transactional online space. Instead of pitching immediately, start with curiosity to build the relationship. You hear that? Don't ask for the transactional thing. Ask curious questions. One of my favorite questions to ask is what's lighting you up today? Or what's something you're celebrating? Or what is your superpower in life and business? Those are unique questions that create curiosity and help you get to know them at a Very deep connected level to see if there's alignment in the first place. And if there isn't, why are you wasting your time building a relationship when there's not alignment? The next piece is to make the relationship the strategy. When we are relationship oriented, we are unstoppable. The folks we work with who get this community sense, they can get the relationship. They understand the concept of not burning the bridge. They are all about giving. They are all about heart centeredness. And they are really truly following that North Star of only working with folks who are legacy aligned, values aligned, and vision and mission aligned. When we have that magical trifecta or quadruple facta, this is where the best, most powerful. Most potent partnerships are created, whether it's a client and business partner relationship or it's a collaboration relationship or even an advisory relationship where you have a board of directors. You want to have legacy alignment, values alignment, and vision and mission alignment. These are your people. This is how to build your vibe and ultimately your tribe. This means if we look at making the relationship the strategy, a couple of things. Not every interaction needs to be a sale, y'all. You heard me? We actually want to leave money on the table when there's not a match. We want to leave that opportunity for collaboration on the table if it's not a match. There's nothing worse than a bad apple or a bad seed in your culture and especially in your client roster. That's gonna lead to nothing good. We have been there. It's like going on a first date and you're like, I can't wait to get out of here. Don't do that to yourself. Some relationships will eventually become clients, partners, referrals, or simply just valuable connections. But you can't have the answer to that until you have the conversation, until you have these deeper questions, this deeper itch for curiosity, and you go into the conversation with intention and curiosity to uncover who is a match and who is not. And of course, if they're not a match, still add value, connect them with other people in your community and in your network that might be able to help them. Just because you're not a match doesn't mean they're a bad person. And if we can add value, of course, let's add value. And then of course, when you stop measuring every interaction by immediate return on investment or ROI, your network becomes a much stronger business asset and really also a personal asset. How we do one thing is how we do everything. If you value your communities, your partnerships, the people you do business with to the degree that you consider them a true partner, a true friend, a true brother or sister in business, the more you will see this blossom and you will see so much possibility and what we call magic in your business. That is what we want for you ultimately. So until our next conversation, I want you to remember this. The best conversations begin long before the first DM. How can you create seeds of intention, seeds of alignment, and really implement that relationship strategy? Comment below, share your insights and how this strategy is working for you. And of course, if you need support on this, we are here to serve you and help you have a positive ripple effect across the planet.