TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Well, hello! And welcome to Inside Marcy's Mind.
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My name is Marcy, and I am your host.
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Today we need to talk about plans.
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Because apparently the universe looked at my plans and said, oh Marcy, that's adorable.
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If you know me at all, you know I love to plan.
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Actually, that's not entirely accurate.
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I like a plan, a backup plan, a document containing the plan, and preferably a nice little list telling me exactly where the plan is located.
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I like organization.
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It makes me happy.
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It makes me feel like I know what I'm doing.
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Makes me feel like I'm in control.
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Ha ha ha.
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And then life becomes comes along and reminds me, you are not in control.
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You don't know anything.
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Now you heard my quick little blip last week while I was in the hospital.
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I honestly don't know how I did those episodes.
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I was so concussed at the time.
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But I did them.
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They sound halfway decent, and at least I didn't go a week without an episode.
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And guess what?
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I had a plan.
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I was supposed to be getting ready for France right now.
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And I wasn't casually getting ready for France.
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Oh no.
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I had Paris planned.
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I had hotels, transportations, museums, restaurants, Disney Paris.
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Of course, Disney Paris.
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I had memes, Nice.
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I had schedules.
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I was going to Monaco.
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I had confirmations.
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I had everything organized.
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I had a list.
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And now instead of packing for France, I ended up packing for the hospital.
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Not really.
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I couldn't even pack.
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Poor Craig had to come home and get me stuff.
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You know, you don't need quite the same wardrobe for the hospital that you need.
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I all I needed was clean underwear, let's be real.
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Because life doesn't care about your spreadsheet.
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I've been thinking about this since I got home.
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I got home about four days ago.
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We spend an enormous amount of time planning our lives.
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And I actually think that's a good thing.
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I love having things to look forward to: trips, dinners with friends, theater tickets, holidays, podcasts, whatever it is.
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But somewhere in there, I think we occasionally start believing the plan and reality have entered into a legally binding agreement.
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Guess what?
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They have not.
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Reality assigned nothing.
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You can have reservations, tickets, insurance, confirmation numbers, a beautifully organized itinerary, and life can still say no.
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No.
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And it's frustrating.
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And yes, I'm disappointed.
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France is canceled.
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I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed.
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I was excited.
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I put a lot of energy into planning it.
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I was imagining being there.
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And when something you've been looking forward to disappears, you're allowed to be sad about it.
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Sit with that for a minute.
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Because I'm not just talking about trips and things.
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Lots of things happen in your life and my life.
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When something you've been looking forward to disappears, you are allowed to be sad.
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Even when you're grateful that you got great medical care and you've got this device implanted in you and and all those things, two things can be true.
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I'm still sad about Paris.
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And everybody goes, Oh, you could do it again.
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I don't know if I want to.
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I don't know if I trust myself traveling so far anymore.
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And that's okay too.
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Even when you know canceling something is a right decision, that's something I've been reminding myself.
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I can be grateful that I'm home, grateful for Medicare, Medic Medicare, and Medical Crusade grateful to be recovering, and still think, damn, I wanted to go to Paris.
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Those feelings don't cancel each other out, neither do yours.
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Here's a funny thing about control.
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I think planning gives us a sense of control, and I like control.
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Big rainstorm just moved in here in Chicago and it just got really dark.
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If I've researched everything, if I have all my confirmations, I know exactly where I'm supposed to be,
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then everything will go go according to plan.
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Except for that's not really what planning does.
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Planning doesn't guarantee a damn thing.
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It just helps us be prepared for the version of life we think is coming.
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Sometimes another version shows up.
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And I've learned that multiple this lesson is not new for me, people.
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I've just decided to share it with you.
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So what do you do?
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I think this is the part I'm figuring out now.
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This is the hardest part for me.
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I have a lot of PTSD and I've already gotten myself a cardiology therapist.
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Because peeling over right in the middle of the sidewalk when you're all by yourself is not a great thing.
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So you adjust to things.
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You probably get angry, maybe you cry, maybe you complain, maybe you say some words that are not appropriate for a family podcast.
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Then you adjust.
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I've been canceling reservations, I've been dealing with the insurances.
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I had Fred, my AI assistant, create a great spreadsheet for me to keep track of things when I got home from the hospital.
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And I take a little time each day to do things and then I rest because with a concussion, you cannot focus for a long period of time.
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You do adjust, you do what you need to do, you put your suitcase away, you look at what life actually looks like now instead of what you thought it was going to look like.
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You know what I did today?
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Today is October 1st.
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On October 1st, the walnut room, a very famous lunch room in the old Marshall Fields here in downtown Chicago, has a beautiful Christmas tree every year in the walnut room.
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And we go every year.
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I got reservations for Craig and I for the walnut room.
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Also, you know what happens on October 1st?
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The tickets go on sale for zoo lights at the Lincoln Park Zoo, and I'm a member there, and I got my tickets for that.
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I'm still making plans.
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Not a lot because I'm tired, but I'm making plans.
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I'm still me.
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I still want to do things.
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It's gonna take me a while to get out and about, but I'll do it.
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Tomorrow is the first time I'm gonna go out since I got home on Monday.
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I have a doctor's appointment.
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And it's two blocks away, and I will decide in the morning whether I'm gonna walk or whether I'm gonna take an Uber.
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And whichever I do will be right because it will be what makes me comfortable.
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The whole experience isn't gonna turn me into someone who says, Well, there's no point planning because you never know what will happen.
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Absolutely not.
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I was smart enough to buy all the insurances on this trip for the hotels and for the tours that I was taking.
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We're gonna get all our money back.
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It's gonna take me a little work.
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They make you jump through a lot of hoops, but guess what?
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I'm gonna get that money back.
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I've already got over$4,000 back for things.
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So we're down to the next$4,000.
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Once that's done, guess what?
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We got our money back.
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I want adventures, I want dinners, I want trips, I want things that make me excited when I wake up.
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The fact that one plan didn't happen doesn't mean we have to stop making plans.
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And I'm telling you my story so you know it.
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I won't talk about this incident anymore.
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My podcast will become fun.
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We'll talk about tips and tricks, we'll talk about pumpkins and fall things and coffees and fall festivals, and I will talk about all the things that make me happy moving forward.
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But I talk about this because you may have already experienced it in life, or you may going to be.
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And I want you to know that it's not the end.
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It's a hiccup, it's a blip.
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But then you move forward.
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So this is what I'm hoping happens.
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Maybe that's the deal we make with life.
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We keep planning.
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Sometimes the surprise is wonderful, sometimes it's absolutely sucks.
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And sometimes you find yourself sitting at home recording a podcast when you thought you'd be figuring out what to pack for France.
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I also thought I was gonna have to do a couple of extra episodes so that they'd be ready.
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So guess what?
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I don't have to do that.
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But I'm still here, I'm still moving forward, and eventually something else goes on the calendar.
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Here's a little challenge for this week.
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Here's what I want you to think about.
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What are you looking forward to?
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Now, what are you worried about?
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Now, what do you have to do?
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What's something on your calendar or something you want to put on your calendar that makes you happy?
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Just think about it.
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Give yourself something to anticipate.
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Jokingly, I have a lot.
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November, middle of November, I'm going to California to our friend's beach house.
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I have a day planned with all the kids, Sharon, Alec, Kyle.
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I have a Disneyland day planned with my bestie.
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I have at the end of this month, I have a night of a thousand pumpkins at the Chicago Arboretum.
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Make sure you have things in your life to look forward to.
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And before I go, if you're wondering what's happening over on my other podcast this week, we're doing things a little differently.
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On Aging A for Sissies, I had I did an episode not on my aging bingo card.
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And Unbottle, we talk about just because you're sober, life can't throw you a curveball.
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Being sober doesn't mean life stops happening.
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It means you actually get to be present for it.
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So if you feel like it, catch those two episodes of Aging A for Sissies and Unbottled.
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So France is canceled, the itinerary is useless.
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My plans change and I'm okay.
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Disappointed, yes.
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Okay and safe, yes.
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And somewhere down the road, there will be another trip.
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There will be another plan, and you know me, there will definitely be another spreadsheet.
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I am Marcy, and this has been Inside Marcy's mind.
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And I will talk to you next week about all things fall.
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Let's just dive headfirst into fall.
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Have a great week.