Full Transcript for The Strange Things We Do When Nobody Is Watching

about 12 seconds, or made you say, Well, that's very me. 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:26.560 That counts. 00:04:26.720 --> 00:04:29.920 You don't need a fabulous vacation to have a story. 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:40.319 My recap today is that I'm enjoying the direction for the show, looking at ordinary life, turning it around a little, and finding the funny parts. 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:44.720 If your week was mostly errands and wondering what to make for dinner, you're in the right place. 00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:45.920 That's who we are here. 00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:47.279 We're those people. 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:52.000 So my health journey is going really well, just so you all know. 00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:54.160 You've been on the roller coaster with me. 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:57.759 Um my defibulator is working beautifully. 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:02.879 It hasn't needed to be used, which is my goal to never have to need it, but it's there if I do. 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:04.879 Shock me from being dead. 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:06.720 That's a great thing. 00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:09.120 I've been out and about this week. 00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:11.199 I've I started back to my regular life. 00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:12.000 I went to the gym. 00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:15.839 I can't do my water aerobics, which is killing me until early November. 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:18.800 But I go, I went to the gym three times this week and worked out. 00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:26.399 Did my weights, did my cardio, did all that, had coffee with the ladies, have just I've had a regular week. 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:29.279 And you know, there's a lot to be said for regular. 00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:31.680 A lot to be said for regular. 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:32.319 Okay. 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:35.360 I I don't need anything. 00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:38.399 I still should be in France right now. 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:39.439 I'm not. 00:05:40.240 --> 00:05:42.800 Um, I've almost got all my money back from everything. 00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:44.879 I'm waiting for one more check. 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:46.879 That was a that was a job. 00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:48.399 That was a lot of work. 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:53.120 Um, yeah, you know, that's what's been going on here. 00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:57.439 Now let's open the door to the unofficial version of ourselves. 00:05:57.680 --> 00:05:59.519 The household staff of one. 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:02.399 Do you talk to yourself when you're alone? 00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:06.319 You know, I disguise talking to myself by talking to my cats. 00:06:06.879 --> 00:06:09.439 I hear Craig talk to the cats too. 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:12.639 And I don't mean a major philosophical decision. 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:15.439 I mean, okay, what did I come in here for? 00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:17.920 Or no, that's not where that goes. 00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:20.000 Do you ever say that to yourself as you're putting something away? 00:06:20.160 --> 00:06:21.519 No, that's and I do this. 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:25.120 I put something away and I think I really shouldn't put it here because I'm not gonna remember. 00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:26.240 This isn't where it goes. 00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:28.560 And when I go to get it the next time, I'm not gonna remember. 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:30.079 Happens every time. 00:06:31.839 --> 00:06:32.959 Don't put that there. 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:33.759 You'll forget it. 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:35.600 Happens, I did it today. 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:38.240 I have a place for umbrellas, okay? 00:06:38.399 --> 00:06:41.360 When I come in, we have a coat closet on the right. 00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:43.519 I have a box with umbrellas in there. 00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:49.920 I came in today, I put my umbrella at the back of a shelf that's in the entryway. 00:06:50.800 --> 00:06:52.879 Do you think I'm gonna remember it's there? 00:06:53.199 --> 00:06:54.480 I thought, well, this is easy. 00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:55.759 I'll just throw it here. 00:06:56.319 --> 00:06:58.079 I'm gonna think I lost my umbrella. 00:06:58.160 --> 00:06:58.639 I know it. 00:06:58.720 --> 00:06:59.439 Just wait. 00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:00.800 Just wait. 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:02.560 Oh my god. 00:07:02.720 --> 00:07:06.399 You know, don't put it there, you'll forget it. 00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:07.680 I'm telling you. 00:07:07.920 --> 00:07:09.199 Then you put it there. 00:07:09.360 --> 00:07:13.680 Apparently, one department issued the warning and the other department handled the placement. 00:07:13.839 --> 00:07:15.759 I'm telling you, this is what happened. 00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:22.160 Living inside your own head can feel like running a business with several employees, none of them who read the email. 00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:30.079 One person wants the house organized, one wants lunch, one has just remembered a song from 1978 and is singing it until Thursday. 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:36.240 Speaking of songs, um, I was at a luncheon yesterday, and all of a sudden we all remembered. 00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:43.600 Um, I was talking about Craig running through Lincoln Park, and sometimes he hears the lion's roar, and somebody said, Isn't that a song? 00:07:43.759 --> 00:07:50.800 And then we remembered it's the lion sleeps tonight in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion. 00:07:50.959 --> 00:07:54.399 That song, awimba whip, awimba whip, awimba whip. 00:07:54.639 --> 00:07:56.560 That's what I feel like happens in my head all the time. 00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:59.519 I get a lot of the awimba whips in my head. 00:07:59.839 --> 00:08:04.079 You know, I am fascinated by the running commentary in my brain. 00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:07.680 And it's like opening a stubborn jar. 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:11.040 We don't just open it, we negotiate with it in our heads. 00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:14.079 Come on, come on, come on, you opened yesterday. 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:16.240 Or what's your problem today, jar? 00:08:16.480 -->

00:08:20.639 See, this is the person I'm talking about that lives in the house, right? 00:08:21.120 --> 00:08:23.839 Come on, Jar, come on, come on, come on, just open, open, open. 00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:24.720 I gotta make dinner. 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:28.560 I have the hardest time opening jars now, and I'll be getting dinner ready. 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:31.120 And it's like if I don't get this jar open, there will be no dinner. 00:08:31.199 --> 00:08:32.720 Like it's live or die. 00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:35.679 And I'll negotiate with a jar. 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:40.159 Okay. 00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:47.200 So I'm gonna talk to you about something that is Craig drives me crazy with it. 00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:48.639 The printer. 00:08:49.840 --> 00:08:57.120 A printer will make perfectly calm people speak like a principal addressing a badly behaved student. 00:08:57.360 --> 00:09:00.399 I asked you to print one page, just one page. 00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:02.639 We've been through this, we've talked about it. 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:06.240 You lean in closer, as if it's having trouble hearing you. 00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:09.200 You have paper, you have ink. 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:11.919 How come you're not talking to my computer? 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:12.960 It's right next to you. 00:09:13.200 --> 00:09:14.559 How are you not talking? 00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:16.159 Why are you not talking? 00:09:16.399 --> 00:09:17.200 Can we talk? 00:09:17.360 --> 00:09:18.879 Let's have a chat. 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:27.200 I it honestly, yesterday I went to meet Craig at his office across at the cathedral next door. 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:32.240 And he goes, I have to pick up something off the printer before we went downstairs. 00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:32.960 I said, Okay. 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:33.919 And then I hear him. 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:35.919 He's in there talking to the printer. 00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:38.879 You have paper, you have ink. 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:40.320 What's the problem? 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:43.200 So I know it happens. 00:09:44.240 --> 00:09:45.440 How about this? 00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:51.039 Okay, remember, we're talking about that version of you that lives at home that nobody knows about. 00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:53.840 Do you ever apologize when you bump into a chair? 00:09:53.919 --> 00:09:54.559 Oh, sorry. 00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:55.919 Walk into a door frame. 00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:57.279 Excuse me. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:00.080 Why do we thank the vacuum? 00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:04.080 Why do we thank the vacuum when it's done its job? 00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:07.120 Thanks for vacuuming. 00:10:08.559 --> 00:10:12.799 Our appliance may have a legitimate complaint about workplace recognition. 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:13.679 There's other ones. 00:10:13.840 --> 00:10:16.639 Do you ever thank your refrigerator for keeping things cold? 00:10:16.879 --> 00:10:17.919 Your freezer? 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:19.919 Maybe you do. 00:10:20.159 --> 00:10:21.519 See, these are the things. 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:22.720 Here's what I want to know. 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:25.279 Does your voice change depending on who you're talking to? 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:26.480 Mine totally does. 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.559 And my kids hated it. 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:33.600 They said when I did my children's sermon at church, they didn't even know whose voice that was. 00:10:34.639 --> 00:10:36.320 That's pretty funny, right? 00:10:36.720 --> 00:10:43.360 Your own sensible voice for the calendar, a stern voice for the computer, and a completely different voice for the cat or dog. 00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:49.279 The dog gets full sentences, the human calling you gets can't talk busy. 00:10:49.519 --> 00:10:51.279 Priorities are clear. 00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:56.159 Craig talks to the cat in the morning more than he talks to me. 00:10:56.720 --> 00:11:04.720 And sometimes the dog or cat looks at you as if I have no idea what we're discussing, but I support the possibility of a snack. 00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:07.759 A very good conversational partner, honestly. 00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:09.360 They just want a snack. 00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:13.039 I think we're providing our own company. 00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:13.919 I really do. 00:11:14.159 --> 00:11:18.559 A little commentary makes folding laundry feel less like folding laundry. 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:22.960 And I'll do it because I here's one of the things I will not do. 00:11:23.120 --> 00:11:27.840 If Craig puts something inside out in the laundry, that's exactly how it gets folded. 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:32.000 I will uninside out my things, but I'm not doing yours. 00:11:32.080 --> 00:11:36.559 If you if you're happy to put something in the laundry inside out, that's how it stays. 00:11:37.440 --> 00:11:40.639 I have very little negotiating skills in laundry. 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:44.000 I don't put, I don't pair Craig's socks, I don't do anything that. 00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:54.080 He folds them a certain way and he likes them. 00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:55.440 It's not a mean thing. 00:11:55.679 --> 00:11:59.200 Then the center has his jeans and then the end has all the other clothes. 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:01.840 But if it's inside out, I promise you that's how it's staying. 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:08.159 And if it's half inside out, like his pajama bottoms, that's how it gets folded and put back. 00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:11.120 He puts it in his drawer, he can fix it. 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:12.879 All right. 00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:17.919 I do think we're providing our own company. 00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:25.519 Though I do draw the line saying, great meeting, everybody, when I finish unloading the dishwasher. 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:26.960 Or do I? 00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:27.440 I don't know. 00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:28.799 That would be kind of fun. 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:30.960 I think I could do that with the cats. 00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:32.559 Great

meeting, everyone. 00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:43.360 Let's move to the kitchen, where the public version of us is very interested in presentation and the private version wants to know if this can be eaten while standing up. 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:44.559 Totally, right? 00:12:44.960 --> 00:12:45.600 Right. 00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:54.480 Now, one of the things that has changed around here when I got a hurt and surgery and all that a few weeks ago. 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:58.000 The last several weeks, Craig and I have been doing our own dinners and meals. 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:04.879 It just was um with my concussion and all the other pieces that I was trying to figure out, it was way over my head. 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:07.919 But next week, back to three meals a week. 00:13:08.000 --> 00:13:09.519 And I do that through HelloFresh. 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:12.480 If you've never tried HelloFresh, I recommend it highly. 00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:14.639 Am I getting paid for that advertisement? 00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:15.919 Absolutely not. 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:20.720 But I order three meals, it comes with everything we need, and then I just kind of schedule it in. 00:13:20.799 --> 00:13:22.960 And Craig and I now eat our meals. 00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:26.240 I know this is like totally off the subject, but that's me. 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:28.000 We eat our meals at lunchtime. 00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:34.639 So I come home from the gym, and the days that I do cook, the three days that I do cook, um I cook at lunchtime. 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:41.120 And if he's not able to get here because he has a meeting or something, then he can heat it up for dinner or he heats it up when he gets here. 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:44.799 But I try to eat only one meal a day, sometimes two. 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:48.720 Um it helps me with my weight management. 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:50.159 So yeah. 00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:51.279 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:52.960 Anyways, okay, off that subject. 00:13:53.279 --> 00:13:54.559 Who's that person in the kitchen? 00:13:54.639 --> 00:13:58.159 Because she's not the one that is out to lunch with her girlfriends, I'll tell you. 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:09.519 Public lunch, something on a plate, perhaps a little garnish, private lunch, open the refrigerator, review the options, close the refrigerator, and come back two minutes later to see whether the options have improved. 00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:12.240 What are we expecting? 00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:14.480 A small chef to have arrived? 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:16.559 I don't know. 00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:19.840 You look back like something's gonna change. 00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:24.240 And then there's the tiny bite that apparently doesn't require a dish. 00:14:24.720 --> 00:14:26.639 One grape, fine. 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:29.200 Sorry. 00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:31.360 Two grapes, still fine. 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:34.720 Half the grapes, we accidentally held a tasting event. 00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:37.759 I'm not judging anybody's food. 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:39.759 I'm interested in the negotiations. 00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:43.919 I'll have just a little, like that fork cake on the counter. 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:46.559 I don't want to dirty a plate. 00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:51.279 Uh, this was basically lunch because I had like four forks walking by. 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.879 Do you know what my favorite counter cake is? 00:14:55.519 --> 00:15:00.399 Trader Joe's vanilla chantilly cake with vanilla icing. 00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:08.399 Now, in now, Instagram and all that has made these cakes famous, but I've been eating them for way before anybody else. 00:15:08.559 --> 00:15:10.799 They used to have just vanilla and chocolate. 00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:16.559 Well, they have seasonal flavors and everything, but the vanilla one, it's my favorite cake in the whole world. 00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:25.360 I don't care what fancy bakery, I don't care what Michelin Star Chef give me that cake any day of the week, and I will fork it to death. 00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:28.639 So I'm not judging your food. 00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:37.840 We can make a very persuasive cake case when nobody's there to ask follow-up questions. 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:41.200 I think four bites of cake can be lunch. 00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:42.159 What about you? 00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:45.279 Another sip. 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:46.799 I have a dry throat. 00:15:47.519 --> 00:15:49.679 See, I think we can make our own rules. 00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:54.799 There's also the difference between the front of the pantry and the back. 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:56.480 The front says, I have plans. 00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:01.200 The back says, I bought this for a recipe and I've been emotionally abandoned. 00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:03.919 A little jar of something very specific. 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:06.240 You needed a quarter teaspoon once. 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:07.440 Now it lives with you. 00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:08.960 It has seniority. 00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:17.200 You move it aside to find the crackers, and it looks like it's waiting for you to become the sort of person who makes that recipe again. 00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:18.159 And I'm not. 00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:19.759 I get rid of that stuff now. 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:21.039 I can't stand that. 00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:22.799 And you want to know something? 00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:25.200 Let's go back to HelloFresh for a minute. 00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:26.720 That's why I love HelloFresh. 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:28.399 They give you just enough of what you need. 00:16:28.559 --> 00:16:37.200 They give you a little tiny if you need a tablespoon of oil or if you need a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar, that's what they give you. 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:40.240 You got nothing left over, no spices left over, no nothing. 00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.080 You use it all, and it's gone. 00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:44.559 Makes me very

happy. 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:49.279 Meanwhile, the snack that you actually want is on the top shelf. 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:49.679 Why? 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:51.120 Who arranged this system? 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:52.080 Oh, you did. 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:54.240 Public you arranged the pantry. 00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:58.320 Private you would like to file an appeal. 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:02.799 And eating over the sink deserves its own discussion. 00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:05.359 We have tables, we own chairs. 00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:08.319 Yet somehow the sinks become a dining location. 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:15.200 When the thing when here's why I think we eat over the sink, because I think eating over the sink calories don't count. 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:16.720 That's what I think. 00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:18.240 Right? 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:20.400 Do you eat over the sink at home? 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:22.480 Do you have bad habits in the kitchen? 00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:23.839 Yeah, I bet you do. 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:24.720 These are mine. 00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:26.160 I'm giving you my laundry. 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:28.000 You're gonna have your own. 00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:32.160 I'm also curious about that last piece of something. 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:37.039 We can become terribly diplomatic with other people. 00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:40.880 Would anybody want like the last one? 00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:46.880 But when you're alone, that meeting is a heck of a lot shorter. 00:17:47.200 --> 00:17:50.480 And if you put the empty container back, I hate that. 00:17:50.799 --> 00:17:53.599 Now you've created a surprise for the future yourself. 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:54.720 I do not do that. 00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:56.559 Do you put containers back? 00:17:56.799 --> 00:17:59.039 That may be your bad habit, right? 00:17:59.839 --> 00:18:02.400 So what is your private kitchen habit? 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:07.440 What's the odd combination you love? 00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:14.720 Do you take like a when I was little, I used to get a spoonful of peanut butter and dip it in the sugar container. 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:17.759 Oh do you do anything like that? 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:20.960 I don't know. 00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:24.319 There's all kinds of things we do standing up in our kitchen. 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:26.960 I bet you have a private kitchen habit. 00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.240 I forgot about that. 00:18:28.480 --> 00:18:31.839 Taking a spoonful of sugar and dipping it in the sugar jar. 00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:33.440 That was good. 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:35.680 Oh, that was good. 00:18:37.680 --> 00:18:40.319 The bite you take before the food reaches the plate. 00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:42.000 Oh my gosh, that's the other thing. 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:47.920 Like serving dinner and then like the potatoes, you just take a bite after you've served everybody. 00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:48.799 Yeah. 00:18:49.920 --> 00:18:51.359 You got one extra bite there. 00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:54.079 Yeah, there's a lot of things, right? 00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:01.599 The perfectly mug you ignore and you go around to get your favorite mug. 00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:03.680 Yep, there's that too. 00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:06.559 You don't have to justify any of this. 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:08.400 This isn't a cooking competition. 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:13.039 Nobody's coming over to tell you that your crackers lack a coherent vision. 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.279 Like, don't worry about it. 00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:18.799 Car concerts and imaginary interviews. 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:20.319 Do you do any of that? 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:23.440 Now the car is an interesting place. 00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:28.079 People forget there's windows all the way around, and you can see all kinds of things in cars. 00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:31.440 People driving, picking their nose, scratching their car. 00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:31.920 I don't know. 00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:33.680 It's just, it's funny. 00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:36.079 People think in their car nobody can see them. 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:37.920 Singing away. 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:42.799 You stop at a light and realize the person in the car next to you can see you. 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:44.640 See, that's when it becomes shocking, right? 00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:50.640 Immediately you become a person who was merely clearing her throat and not belting out Annie Lennox, you know? 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:54.079 I don't know why we do that, but it's pretty funny. 00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:57.839 We just think cars are invisible. 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:03.200 There's a whole private career in the car. 00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:08.880 Singer, interviewer, person delivering the perfect comeback to an argument that ended three days ago. 00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:10.400 Does that ever happen to you? 00:20:10.559 --> 00:20:15.519 Like you had something happen and you think, oh, this would have been a witty comeback, or why didn't I say this? 00:20:15.599 --> 00:20:16.799 And why didn't I say that? 00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:18.000 And then I win. 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:21.200 And sometimes you rehearse perfectly ordinary phone call. 00:20:21.359 --> 00:20:23.440 Hi, I'm calling about my appointment. 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:25.759 I practice stuff like that in my head. 00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:28.559 I don't know about you, but that's why I'm talking about it here. 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:36.079 Because if I'm gonna call, I feel like like I had to change my mammogram because I accidentally made it. 00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:40.720 And when you've had breast cancer, mammograms are just as important as if you haven't. 00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:42.480 That's what I should say here. 00:20:42.799 --> 00:20:43.920 But it's important. 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:49.839 And um, I didn't realize I made our vacation to California in November when I have my mammogram. 00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:51.759 But I do, I practice the

whole thing. 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:54.319 I'm sorry, I I I'm gonna be out of town. 00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:59.359 Can I please like like they don't care, but I feel like I have to give them a story. 00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:02.960 So I'll practice that in my head. 00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:10.400 You know, I think cars are an interesting thing, phones are an interesting thing. 00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:13.359 All right, let's talk about this. 00:21:13.519 --> 00:21:17.920 We need to talk about clothes we wear when there's nobody to impress. 00:21:18.319 --> 00:21:25.039 There are clothes you wear out in the world, and there's clothes you put on because you have decided the world is not on today's schedule. 00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:27.759 I have house shorts. 00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:31.680 Oh my God, I can't believe I'm telling you this. 00:21:31.839 --> 00:21:33.200 I'm in them right now. 00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:34.880 I have house shorts. 00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:36.400 I have two pairs of them. 00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:38.240 I have a black pair and a cream pair. 00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:42.240 They have an elastic waist, they're super comfy, they fit great. 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:45.839 They were they fit when I was fat and they still fit now. 00:21:47.200 --> 00:21:48.319 And I love them. 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:50.400 I call them my house shorts. 00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:53.519 And the minute I get home, my pants come off. 00:21:53.599 --> 00:21:54.720 How house shorts go on? 00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:56.799 Cause I'm not walking around in underpants. 00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:58.160 I just can't do that. 00:21:58.240 --> 00:21:59.839 Well, yes, I can when I don't feel well. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.920 But I have house shorts and I wear them here winter, spring, summer, fall. 00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:09.680 When I put away the summer clothes, the house shorts stay. 00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:20.319 Um I'll go down and get a package in the middle of winter when it's zero degrees outside in my house shorts. 00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:25.680 Uh they are appropriate for outside, but not really, but they are. 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:28.400 Do you have things like that? 00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:30.240 Do you have clo home clothes? 00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:38.240 The comfortable shirt, the soft pants, the combination of colors that would never survive a committee review. 00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:41.359 It all works because the committee has been dismissed. 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:45.680 Nobody's watching, so the question becomes: does this feel good? 00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:48.559 Brockemoff? 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:49.920 Wouldn't do that in public. 00:22:50.160 --> 00:22:51.279 God, I wouldn't. 00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:53.039 Some clothes have jobs. 00:22:53.200 --> 00:23:00.160 The old shirt is for cleaning, another is for sleeping, another is too worn to wear, but too emotionally important to throw away. 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:03.440 It has a permanent position in the household. 00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:07.680 Try to get rid of it, and suddenly you become a defense attorney. 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:08.799 It's still useful. 00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:10.559 Useful for what? 00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:11.519 Things. 00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:14.000 Very strong case, I see. 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:15.119 Dismissed. 00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:18.079 Then there's the private mirror moment. 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:21.200 You try something on and give yourself a commentary. 00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:22.000 Oh no. 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:23.519 Maybe with different shoes. 00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:23.920 I don't know. 00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:25.119 The belt, no belt. 00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:26.079 Should I? 00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:30.000 Who was I planning to be when I bought this? 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:32.880 I have asked that question so many times. 00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:37.519 I am kind of a boho chic kind of girl. 00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:38.319 That's what I like. 00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:39.200 An aesthetic. 00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:41.279 I don't like tight clothes. 00:23:41.759 --> 00:23:44.160 But I love how they look on my best friend Lynn. 00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:48.400 She always looks so and she she dresses classic and I love it. 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:52.559 And sometimes I'll buy clothes because I'll think I'm Lynn and I'm classic, but I'm not. 00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:56.880 And I put them on and I'm like, oh my God, this would look great on Lynn, but not me. 00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:02.000 And every once in a while you catch yourself in the mirror and you think, well, hello. 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:06.480 I hope you I hope you let yourself have that moment. 00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:10.160 You not do not need an audience to approve it. 00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.519 Just look at yourself and just say hello. 00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:20.079 The private version of you gets to be comfortable, a little silly, and occasionally delighted with herself. 00:24:20.319 --> 00:24:23.920 Nobody needs a full presentation every time they pass the hallway mirror. 00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:24.559 Laugh. 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:25.759 Have a good time. 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:28.799 Oh. 00:24:32.480 --> 00:24:35.119 Here's what I like about this subject. 00:24:35.359 --> 00:24:36.880 I'm almost done, everybody. 00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:37.200 I know. 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:39.279 I know I'm talking a lot today. 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:43.279 The private things often tell us what we actually enjoy. 00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:46.480 The song we choose when nobody is around to control the music. 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:49.119 The meal we make when nobody is looking. 00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:52.640 The show we watch, I am a trash TV watcher. 00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:56.240 That's who we really are. 00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:57.599 And it's okay. 00:24:57.839 --> 00:25:02.559 And if you don't want to be that person out in public, fine. 00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:12.079 Enjoy your dancing in the kitchen,

rock and rolling in the bathroom, singing in the shower, whatever it is, wearing your house shorts, do whatever you want. 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:13.759 Live your best life. 00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:15.440 That's my point here. 00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:22.079 If you want to present to the world a whole different person, I half them do and half don't. 00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:25.759 I think my friends in Chicago now know who I really am. 00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:29.279 I'm a nutcase. 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:34.079 Sometimes I'd like the activity to stay the activity. 00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:37.200 I'm listening to the song, I'm making the sandwich. 00:25:37.440 --> 00:25:40.799 The sandwich does not need a publicist, but sometimes it does. 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:43.920 Sometimes I have to commentate everything. 00:25:44.160 --> 00:25:46.480 Sometimes I commentate my cats. 00:25:47.039 --> 00:25:49.519 I do what I want, and I hope you do too. 00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:54.880 It's a lovely thing to know about yourself and possibly an entertaining thing to tell a friend. 00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:58.079 Apparently, I conduct the orchestra when I'm loading the dishwasher. 00:25:58.240 --> 00:25:58.880 Who knew? 00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:00.640 Now we all do. 00:26:00.960 --> 00:26:02.720 And y'all know I have house shorts. 00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:08.240 So you're never gonna listen to this podcast without thinking, is Marcy wearing her house shorts or not today? 00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:08.880 Ha ha. 00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:10.079 All right. 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:12.240 I have three questions for you this week. 00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:15.519 And you can answer whichever one makes you smile. 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:18.880 What harmless thing do you do when nobody's watching? 00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:23.119 What object receives the most commentary in your house? 00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:27.119 And what is your private concert song? 00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:30.640 The one you cannot hear without joining in. 00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:33.440 Mine is Shake It Off by Taylor Swift. 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:34.559 Now you know? 00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:37.839 Tell me through the usual place you connect with the show. 00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:40.640 Keep it something you're comfortable sharing. 00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:44.079 We're collecting laughs, not evidence. 00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:51.359 And if you tell me that you don't have any of these habits, I respect your position, but I would like to speak to your refrigerator. 00:26:52.799 --> 00:26:54.880 Thank you for spending time with me. 00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:58.960 And thank you again for the encouragement about last week's show. 00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:04.640 I love these conversations where we notice the little things and realize we've got plenty of company. 00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:10.559 I want you to this week catch yourself doing something wonderfully ordinary and a little ridiculous. 00:27:10.880 --> 00:27:12.720 Don't immediately correct it. 00:27:12.880 --> 00:27:15.359 Give yourself a second to enjoy it. 00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:18.720 I am Marcy, and this has been Inside Marcy's mind. 00:27:19.119 --> 00:27:27.119 If this episode made you laugh, share it with someone who will immediately say, I do that, I have house shorts. 00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:31.119 Follow the show so we can have another conversation next week. 00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:39.200 Now go find your scissors, and if you talk to them, when you find them, tell them I said hello.