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ABOUT THIS EPISODE

By now you probably know that Jamie is pregnant again! We’re so excited, and want to bring you along on our journey. That’s why today’s episode includes the audio from the exact moment that Doug learned about the pregnancy. We had just gotten back from Disney, and he was feeding Henley. As you’ll hear, his reaction wasn’t as excited as it could have been (and neither was Henley’s), but you get to share in the genuine, real reaction rather than a staged moment.

Today’s amazing guests are the fantastic Erica Eckman from Everything Erica and her husband Dan, a real estate guru. She and I met on social media when she reached out on Instagram, and she’s honestly one of my best friends now. She and her husband are intelligent, down-to-earth, and just lovely people.

If you’ve ever wondered about how Erica and Jamie met, this is the episode for you! You’ll learn that Erica took a chance and reached out, the two featured each other, and the friendship blossomed organically from there. As Erica points out, you never know what might happen if you just say “hi”!

Erica is a fairly new mom, and the four of us will talk about the experiences of birth and parenthood. Of course having children is an amazing blessing, but there are definitely parts of the pregnancy, birth, and parenthood process that’s a struggle. There’s no shame in asking for help or not being able to do it all yourself.

We’ll dig into all sorts of things, including how Erica’s birth process went, whether men look at women’s vaginas differently after watching them give birth, how long the recovery process takes, how much it hurts after birth (including a story involving peeing on a nurse), the issues that can be involved in breastfeeding, and much more.

Today’s Guests:

Erica Eckman on LinkedIn

@everythingerica on Instagram

@dansdadlife on Instagram

Everything Erica

In This Episode:

[01:43] - Jamie and Doug chat about the podcast, and introduce today’s topic: Jamie’s pregnancy announcement to Doug!

[05:32] - We hear the audio from when Jamie announced her pregnancy to Doug right after getting back from Disney.

[10:08] - The reaction wasn’t as enthusiastic as it could have been, but at least it was genuine!

[13:57] - Erica Eckman from Everything Erica and her husband Dan are today’s amazing guests.

[16:57] - Jamie explains who Dan and Erica are for people who aren’t yet familiar with them.

[18:10] - Erica shares the story of how she and Jamie initially met.

[21:14] - Doug brings up the point of people surrounding themselves with people who they admire or look up to.

[23:31] - Did Erica deliver her daughter vaginally or through a C-section?

[28:35] - Since Jamie works in labor and delivery, she was interested in her birth process and even checked her own dilation.

[29:38] - How painful is it after having a baby?! Erica shares a post-birth bathroom story about the pain of even peeing.

[31:50] - Erica and Jamie chat about breastfeeding and Erica’s struggles with it.

[36:02] - Is the common sense of shame over not breastfeeding self-imposed shame, or is it from external sources?

[40:45] - Doug wonders whether there’s a good way to ask new mothers whether they’re okay or might be grappling with depression.

[44:21] - Does Dan remember the first time he watched his daughter at home alone?

[49:07] - Erica shares a big takeaway: it’s okay not to have love at first sight with your baby.

[53:00] - Do Erica and Dan have a favorite motto that they live by?

[58:48] - You can tell when a baby is ready for sleep training, Erica points out.

[60:20] - What are Erica and Dan’s top tips for keeping their marriage hot and their parenting cool?

[65:36] - Erica shares a favorite quote that she lives by.

Links and Resources:

Married at First Sight

Hot Marriage. Cool Parents. on YouTube

Jamie Otis

Wifey 101 by Jamie Otis

Burrow (our sponsor!)

FabFitFun (our sponsor!) Use coupon code 40Jamie for a discount!

White With Style (our sponsor!) Use coupon code Jamie28 for a huge discount!

Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe

Jana Kramer Slams Body Shamers Criticizing Her 1 Week After Giving Birth: ‘I’m So Frustrated’

English
United States
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TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00Do you love me Do you love podcasts Did you puppy You know a lot about what we're talking about on this podcast is really how your past shaves your future And I don't think anyone had more of a dramatic turn Then you especially in your book Wife You
00:00:24one on one I mean you literally came from the trailer park and our are now in a podcast Hosted a TV show on in the loving family Well there's no shame whatsoever and coming from a trailer park because here I am That's true Like I did I came
00:00:36from a trailer park I had custom my siblings And yeah I had to tell the tale and it's not just living to tell the tale I mean you fought for your life and fought to where you are You got here I mean it's it's literally the biggest success
00:00:51story ever And it's And it's something that I look up to admire And you well thinking dog I appreciate it Yeah I was really happy too right Wife You wantto want to kind of share my journey and hopefully inspire others who are going through that same type of
00:01:04a hard time so it's available on Amazon You go to amazon dot com and just type in wife He wantto one You'd be able to grab my book there and you can also get a signed copy from my website Jaimie otis dot com Are you looking for someone
00:01:22to share their deepest darkest secrets on keeping their marriage spicy Yeah Yeah You like Poli's dish on how to be a cool parent Because yeah I don't know Please tell me Well Jamie Otis and Doug Caner have got all your hobbies and wife He's and mommies and daddies
00:01:38covered Yep that's us because each week we're finding a guest who will spill all their dirty secrets Yeah because we all want to keep our marriage is hot And our parenting cool Here's the show Hey guy thank you so much for joining us for episode three of a
00:01:56marriage Cool pairs Right We made a pass Three Well two this is three Yeah and we're going to make it well into two Are really did to tell my goodness It's for ticket And I think on the first up So you talked a lot about number two Like
00:02:12going number two in scoring machine All right here we go What a perfect introduction to our guests today Does anyone else get delirious when they're pregnant It is ten o'Clock at night while recording this introduction we record these ahead of time so that they could be all wrapped
00:02:30up nicely for your eyes with a bow Everything delivered Every single Wednesday morning We have a brand new episode out and this is Episode three which is ni telling Doug that we're pregnant So before we announced it to the world I knew ahead of time I mean I
00:02:47would be a terrible wife I told the whole world I didn't tell you Yeah that would be kind of weird actually Actually would be kind of cool to see your reaction Yeah I mean admittedly I was taken off guard with it so when you hear the audio there's
00:03:01not going to be really anything too special to it I mean that's not for the greatest of audio but it is a genuine true reaction Yeah and you know I've I've been through a couple of these already and you know it's It's tough to get super excited right
00:03:16away when you just lose the baby But also I've never I mean this was on still in early time where we had Henley and it was a pregnancy announcement And the first thought was Henley She was in my mind Yeah if you guys listen the last episode he
00:03:32explained that he felt bad for Gracie but I think it's great that she's going to be a big sister But without further ado we wanted Toa share the audio from when we had literally just gotten back from Disney And I swear to God I knew I was pregnant
00:03:46So I went right to the bathroom and peed on a stick and it came back positive and I was like You're right I knew it I knew it I knew it and I was like Why is she filming Hendley eating So yes so so this is what happens
00:03:58I go upstairs and I start reporting on my phone because I was like Oh my God I'm pregnant But Doctor said No and I have to surprise him But I have to get that you know like I'm all about capturing the moment like our video So I start
00:04:10recording and then like I sneaked downstairs and I pretend like I don't even look for the record I pretend that I'm recording Gracie eating But really I was trying to be like super calm and collected so he wouldn't catch on that I'm actually telling him we're pregnant so
00:04:25I Yeah so without further ado here is the audio of that We also have it on YouTube If you guys want We have a YouTube channel shameless plug here But you can check it out because you can see the whole behind the scenes of me telling Doug that
00:04:38we're pregnant And it was just It was a really special moment Even though I was I was less than happy with his response I was expecting Oh my God we're pregnant Finally you know it's It's a little bit difficult Flynn Every bathroom has at least two or three
00:04:53pregnancy sticks in the garbage I take you literally fifteen which I want to give everybody before Okay last that last hit before we share the pregnancy I guess sharing I'm telling Daddy I'm pregnant You can go to This is not an ad What services not sponsored in any
00:05:11way shape or form But I've been dying to tell you guys on my instagram story and I just haven't had a chance You go to Amazon and get a pregnancy test for like fifty cents each Like you I literally got twenty pregnancy tests for like eight or ten
00:05:22dollars and go like that hundred none And I don't even know the brand but they work Trust me they work So if you are someone who has been taking a lot of tests and like literally spending half your paycheck on like tests that's my tip to you All
00:05:35right here is the audio Because like it I love it It makes me so happy So we just got back from uh Florida We just took our very first family vacation since Gracie was born Which Disney and had such a good time three was drinking the beginning of
00:05:54the trip because I was like you know why I didn't think anything I mean I was hoping I'd be pregnant but I haven't been pregnant that so many times Month after month we've been trying to get pregnant Now you know I'm gonna dry our vacation I'm not going
00:06:07to go crazy Andi Then you know my period was late but it's been late before and I had a chemical pregnancy so I was like you know what I'm not going to go crazy like I don't want to get my hopes up just to be like you know
00:06:21just get my period basically on then just be disappointed But then today is Day five with no period And I was like the last time You know I've always been very honest about like the journey that pregnancy struggle Israel for so many women And I don't even you
00:06:37know I don't even know how Tellem deal because they can't imagine going further and further But anyways long story short I got home I mean I was so sick in the car I just could I could just tell I was like I think I am But then I
00:06:53thought that before I don't know get home Then I pee on the tests and it is definitely positive I mean there's not a doubt about it and I ran upstairs so I could just quickly take this video because I want to surprise my husband because he's definitely not
00:07:11expecting this I mean there's a chance that he's downstairs He's feeding our daughter and I left the pregnancy test disgusting right there on the counter like hated birth my sweater which is even more gross because I had a piano being but I wanted to seem like super relaxed
00:07:26too cool And I just want to Jenny only surprise them and get his reaction because or having our second baby Well third if you count our angel baby in heaven Very good See why's a reaction would be and so excited My daughter is gonna be a big sister
00:07:46Okay Here now No I don't We have to be interior Hi What are you doing TV in dinner Do we just have such a fun vacation All of her stuff is still not unpacked I'm not gonna do anything Yeah we're we've literally been traveling all day We got
00:08:18up at seven A M Had breakfast My tio had had back first I said that already Uh then basically like took the hour drive to the airport Yeah And then I watched Curse of algo and the men on a plane and then we drive it an hour home
00:08:38and then Is this the weird Look what they left Are you for real What What You just didn't I just I just did it And it's positive It's for real Are you positive His is up before it's like you'll fare to be I'm positive I have You called
00:09:15it Yeah What do you think You're gonna be a big sister You are gonna be a big sister Yeah That's it done That's your reaction I'm so happy e I am so overly happy like almost too happy story after I don't want to hurt the baby That's what
00:09:48I wanted Teo Home But We're pregnant Finally America Baby Jesus big sister and increase He wasn't the greatest of reactions but it was a genuine reaction It Well it was genuine that's for sure And I definitely called you on I wanted you to be like fall off your
00:10:28chair So excited internally I wass but you're just kind of like sat there and was like Oh yeah like a baby you know we've been through we've been through a couple of pin ups and downs and I mean even with only I didn't get exciting toe midway through
00:10:46the second trimester I mean it was still a super all some announcement Once I started seeing your belly that's when things got really and I got more and more excited But it was more of the buildup Yeah important There's always like that struggle of you know you're obviously
00:11:02so excited But if you've suffered from a loss before then you you want to connect with the baby Especially as a woman I wanted to connect with me in my belly but I was scared Tio And then I want to And then I I'm scared too It's like
00:11:15that Like it's almost like when you're a teenager flirting with boys You know how like you flirt when you don't You don't You don't like this is almost like the same thing No no that's down That was a terrible example Yes it's a terrible terrible example But explain
00:11:32that again Now I'm done so you would flirt with boys and then stop flirting with boys and then start to flirt with boys and then not get excited over Is that the analogy Well I mean doesn't every girl and boy do that like don't leave to play that
00:11:46like game back through Okay fine Well we're way off track here All right well we're going to pause right here because we have a few messages from our sponsors Hot marriage cool parents is brought to you by borough The holiday season is here and whether you're hosting the
00:12:02entire extended family or just a few friends you'll need a cozy seat for everyone There's no better time to replace your worn out hand me down couch with a super comfortable high quality and stylish borough sofa way actually have two of these couches down in our living room
00:12:20and they are so incredibly comfortable The reason why we went with borough was because I love that their fabric is not toxic because Gracie Putz around on everything and it's shocking the things that are toxic you'd be surprised It really makes a difference And this was probably the
00:12:35most stress free furniture shopping that we've ever done in our lives Yeah because they literally ship it to your front door and I saw on Instagram Live and Doug put the coach together while I was chatting with all my friends Is the first casualty or gotten That was
00:12:48no tools required Yeah so you can charge your phone or your if you're like dog let's play video games You can charge her video game thing Yeah right on it You can get your living room ready for all of your holiday celebrations and save seventy five dollars on
00:13:03a new sofa by visiting borough dot com slash jamie for seventy five dollars off your order That's u R r o w dot com slash jamie to get seventy five dollars off your order Thanks again to burrow for supporting the show Thanks bro Who else has tried that
00:13:19But fun I have your girl If you don't already know about it It's a seasonal box with full sized Judy fitness and lifestyle products Their winter editors box is epic and as products like a knit throw from Marking Graham and exploiting scrub from Kate Somerville ceramic bowls that
00:13:37from Pier one And that's just the beginning of it Yeah I always get the masks Yeah you're such a girl Don't miss out because they sell out fast Check out that that fun dot com and use the code forty Jamie So you could say forty percent off your
00:13:51first box Whoa Yeah making only twenty nine Ninety nine And that seriously a steel that's close Whatever's in it it's also again that's fat fun dot com and use the code forty Jamie treat yourself Yeah you deserve a treat yourself drivers off the box I'm so excited because
00:14:06today on the podcast we have one of my very best friends Erica Ackman from everything Erica and grow up No You know what's so funny is that you met her on social media I did meet her on social media and a lot of people always ask I mean
00:14:20she's one of my best friends now It's she was you know like I got like a fan of married at first Second and Dan are great people I mean there they are so incredibly intelligent first of all so loving and warm and giving and literally we're going to
00:14:34share the story about how we met but she reached out to me on Instagram And when I tell you I read every single comment and I actually respond to a cz many as I possibly can genuinely dio and all our relationship started off a bit like that And
00:14:47now I mean I'm wither like where we trap policy each other more than I see some of my neighbors I will forever be in debt to her because she taught you how to cook Yes she's an amazing truly amazing cook I mean literally I remember when she came
00:15:03to our house she came to our house and she said What do you want for dinner You know I'll cook and so I was like Okay well if you're cooking since you're the guest I feel terrible You're cooking but we suck at it So Okay but I'll buy
00:15:13all the ingredients So I said that I love you for picking out the meal to be my favorite His favorite meal is chicken franchise with penny pasta Yeah in the chicken product So we literally got that and she didn't have a recipe She had nothing She just like
00:15:28made it like she just knew your head I was like how do you know the recipe to all these different dishes And that her husband Dan is like a real estate guru Like he's just so they're from Chicago and they are just such lovely people Very very intelligent
00:15:42And yeah I'm selling on Earth to Yes I'm so excited to have them on the podcast today We have a little daughter Yes and they You know we just share a lot about parenting and marriage And so without further ado here is Dan and Erica okay All right
00:16:03So for everybody who's listening this's one of my very very very good friends Erica Ackman from everything Aircon Instagram and her hubby Dan And he is Dan's dad Life on Instagram They're iss is waving for everyone listening And then I was going to take that Can't see a
00:16:21story God forbid we are going to put this on YouTube for that reason Just eating Just so that people could get the visual if they want it Like my husband sitting about underwear You know when when Jamie and I were when our first season aired on TV my
00:16:42grandmother on DH this was Maybe I want to say like five or six episodes And I met my grandma and she go I was like what you think of the show Grandma and she goes It's really really good But do you have to talk about your penis so
00:16:56much Of course Grandma Yeah she told me Okay so for anybody who doesn't know you guys which I feel like most people dio because I'm always with you Erica but and I'm just gonna give up Quick run down So you guys are like Chicago socialites if you ask
00:17:18me but oh my God Tell yourself that But you definitely are mean You're like a social media Ah guru really And Dan you're like a real estate one so And I feel like I've learned on awful lot from for each of you Really Us wolf went to business
00:17:33school and just super super duper smart And you're also new parents Kind of a limited only to sew but I feel like you're a new parent Like like every stage of it is like name Right Like Yeah pressure your new toddler parents right Is that toddler too What
00:17:53you looking at Erica I don't know what the exact star point is but yeah I feel definitely feel like new parent even though you don't remember what it's like before you had them Even those only two years ago And he lived like ninety five in your life about
00:18:04him You know Yeah that's like them What was life like before them Erica I think you're saying that the number one question you get when it comes to you and I is how to how we met So can you explain to everyone how we met Yeah it's such
00:18:19a cool story because honestly I feel like it's one of those things that like every girl kind of like has these dreams and wishes that they'll meet people that they admire But a lot of them are a little bit scared to maybe take that jump So I you
00:18:33know back couple of years ago I just started my blawg I wanted to figure out ways to like partner with really cool people that inspired me And Jamie was one of them I was such a married at first sight van on And so she had just come out
00:18:46with this really cute jewelry line and I thought You know what Maybe she'd be interested in me like featuring it on my block and that was really my only intention Just kind of like getting the opportunity to like say hi and maybe I don't know like I just
00:19:01thought maybe she'd be like interested in like having me feature That was literally my attention So I left just a little comment on her Instagram and she responded and I literally almost fell over I was like Oh my God just answered me I couldn't believe it So you
00:19:17are So So you were like Yeah totally send you a piece of my jewelry and I would love for you to feature it And then you were like Oh and if you want maybe I could feature one of your rescue's on my blog's So I fell over even
00:19:28harder and I was like Oh my god that's for once to feature Like what It would just happen Ah so it was really one of those moments where I just took a chance and I reached out and ah you know it wasn't one of those things where it
00:19:41was like instant where we just started talking and that was it We just you know started following each other I feature knew you featured me on And then I think he had reached out a couple months after that about just some business advice And then our friendship kind
00:19:53of blossom organically through that But I think it's just one of those things where like if you admire somebody or if it's somebody that like you want to get to know like take a chance You never know where life could take you and you never know what's just
00:20:04saying hi Might you know where you might end up with that Yeah I honestly that that sounds so inspiring even to me even though this is our own story On the flip side of it I was also honored though like first of all I read every single comment
00:20:18ever really goes on Instagram I love responding to everybody and honestly I have made first of all like we're such good friends now like you're one of my best friends and the fact that like social media brought us together like that's nuts like And I'm so I feel
00:20:31so thankful that you took that chance because I have learned so much from you I admire you so much and like it's just it is wild to think But it was like one comment Instagram that kind of connected us and then is especially just knowing how close we
00:20:45are Now and like I mean you're mean when something happens in my life for your life I feel like we're the first people to tell each other things It's like crazy to think that like it started with a comment and started But you know just me taking a
00:20:56chance and you being so receptive And three years later you were eating comes at our house Can we stop talking about my stomach Just dug it You every time I want you to retype the coming So OK then four years later we were hanging out in Times Square
00:21:13and eating cheese Yeah it was Then that issue I can't remember No I think my stomach was okay There's that What side But I think that brings up a great point Is people surrounding themselves with ah people that they admire or people that they think are kind of
00:21:34better than them are more well rounded Not so much better But I was always the youngest in my grade growing up And and I would always play sports against older kids And it was one way to get better and to better yourself And when you when you're forced
00:21:50to play up to a certain level It it brings your game up And I think that networking is something that everybody should get a little bit better at especially But this is the thing though is that I don't think it was either one of you I guess you
00:22:04were trying to network weren't you Erica You did it organically that I didn't know way But yeah I mean I think it was it was networking but it was also just like it was just one of those things where I knew that I wanted to expand You know
00:22:18my brand and I was looking at somebody who I just felt I had an amazing brand and some of that I looked up tio and it was it was networking but it was done definitely a little bit more organically like I was you know going to meet up
00:22:29I was just kind of putting myself out there And I mean the worst thing that can ever say is no or not answer you So as long as you have a thick skin and you just don't care if you have a message ten people in one person says
00:22:40yes And that's all that matters You've told me that advice before and I seriously live by it Even though you're somewhat your skin is so much thicker than mine because I still get scared Like sometimes I wantto you know email someone who I think is cool And I
00:22:54like just barely can like you know But anyways I was actually going to say like Caitlin Bristowe I think she's like the coolest podcasts were so cool and like literally I'm like And she signed it on her podcast before Her podcast is also vine and great therapy I
00:23:10don't have anyone else's listen to it But if you need to get podcast listen to you This is totally she has no idea that I'm even saying this but like trust me her podcast Well like have you on the floor laughing every single episode It's she's so funny
00:23:21and she's still relatable But now that I'm done plugging Caitlin I sound like I'm still here guys Okay so Okay You did deliver a lia right Your daughter's a lia She's too Did you deliver her here We have a C section Or if you delivered Oh I was
00:23:40like yeah I didn't know what Nisa delivered at Jamie's Great with Didn't actually give birth I didn't get her way Work on that So that was smooth That was a good question I don't deliver my daughter No Yeah I was It was a vaginal birth Yeah I knew
00:24:04that but I don't know I just have No Dan did you watch I was next to her but I was trying not to peek too hard because I didn't wanted Teo Really That area Okay so you just stopped there because I need to know from a man's perspective
00:24:26genuinely Tell us the truth guys Do you feel like it Like you look at our vaginas differently That's like I I waited until the head was showing what you feel like you and you did too I wait until like most way out Yeah I wasn't looking at like
00:24:46the straight on angle I was like sitting next to our room and I peek to see the baby's head is also work or the bucket that was on the floor catching whatever was there Yeah before I don't want to get Could you imagine you got like scarred from
00:25:01that And you're like No you can't get that image out of your head Like I was a risk that I was like I'm just going toe Really look So props and those who dio I don't know I kind of I was just so curious as to what it
00:25:15would look like for because I haven't even seen any of like the videos that they have For that they show you are from gym class or wherever classes I don't know condition of family life whatever So I was I was genuinely curious but yeah I didn't know what
00:25:33to expect And and then you know who I was magical and I didn't look at it after Doug actually did look at a vehicle you know so romantic It was like like you're pushing something out that shouldn't fit out of that area and how it comes out that
00:25:51way and alive And it's just it's it's so it's tough to comprehend But then you see your daughter And then it kind of like takes everything away Yeah I'm I'm ah propping up the second camera for YouTube right now just in case you're curious So I'm doing Jamie's
00:26:09great with Segways in conversation Stopper Sorry guys talking about the magic of birds and James Way got this great and video thing length whatever video Yes it did film I I did film the the actual birth WeII did Felt well I mean it was on married At first
00:26:44I was going to say yes Theo I film I filmed the private one for us personally for personally Yeah but it didn't always go back to that image and video The midwife blocked it cause I really want Are you doing with this camera on the first time that
00:27:05you've ever dropped a charming t be able to see So I have this camera here Oh my God I'm really ruining our podcast So because I'm being so preoccupied Yeah we're not gonna be read repeat customers of this from drinking that catering like a profitable Anyway I wasn't
00:27:23expecting how much recovery time was was needed afterwards because it was the baby Henley was What was she like Daisy Henley our daughter And we'll know she was like a good two pounds heavier than what everybody thought Get my mother in law thought it was gonna be five
00:27:41pounds Turns out she's over eighty pounds Not by much but still you know what they call that But you were kind of stretched out Um yeah What did they call that A little Yeah Yeah You genuinely don't look at our who has like differently like Or do you
00:27:57Like as a men I wonder I don't You don't you still like it just as much Yeah You're well cupped Thank you Dad Yes Say again I intentionally didn't look so I think if I did it might have changed my present Maybe not at all but I wasn't
00:28:19willing to take that risk so I didn't look so exact Same as before But you did kind of look Yeah I think I saw the baby's head though but I was behind her I wasn't in front of her so I didn't see I just thought like go ahead
00:28:31coming out So I was kind of a consciousness and I think Erica told me she's like Dude you know you shouldn't look That was like fair enough Yeah I didn't want that on May Yeah we didn't have that conversation Yeah no instructions Now I really wanted to you
00:28:46know record it I wanted to see her coming out of me like so badly because I knew what happened so fast I work in labor delivery So like I knew checked her own dilation I really did Oh my God I really did Well I was in the bathtub
00:28:59texting you Erica I really don't think this is really your like You know it's probably not the next morning There she is But I like arm Before I went to the hospital I'd literally checked myself because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't It was like false
00:29:15alarm because I'm a labor delivery nurse and I felt like that I would like the walk of shame of like having toe like I don't know to like go in and false labor Like I felt like I would just be look so silly or something Which is that's
00:29:28the silly They were too much Yeah I worried way too much but um breast feeding that's like a whole other topics Segway OK let's go from the bottom to the top Yeah talk about you know what Funny you mention that before we go from the bottom to the
00:29:49top Erica how freaking painful is it after having a baby Oh my God So let me just tell you a quick really quick little story Another a little bit of a bathroom story for you because apparently I'm full of them But so after I gave birth they take
00:30:03the castle her out and you know Jamie I drink a lot of water I'm somebody I tried to drink like a gala day Well this was no different during birthday Dan had a couple of bottles of water there and every time I was pushing I was drinking like
00:30:15another half a leader like I was pounding water So they took the catheter out and I really had to go the bathroom again And the nurse was like No I don't think you have to go the bathroom like No I would like you to understand I have to
00:30:25go She said We just took your catheter out The bag was full You don't have to go Unlike Miss And meanwhile my meds are wearing off some and so much pain Like Miss I have to go Please just let me go And she was like I can't like
00:30:37you don't have to go So I peed all over the delivery table like Hovered the whole delivery table She came back in she was so upset with me and then I got really mad at her And I was also like the pain meds and just started kicking in
00:30:51like whatever they give you the hydrocodone that I was kind of loopy so I peed on her the second time Oh no you came for you know there was a game going on Okay She's a girl we can tame unconsciously aiming Oh my God Erica It was so
00:31:08bad It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life Dan I'll tell you like he had a lead on his arm skeptical Put her down on like the weighing station and come over to me because I was screaming bloody murder like because of the peeing or
00:31:18because of because I had to pee so bad And it was just so much pain going on in the epidural Had just worn off on the drugs have kicked in And it was probably the most pain I've ever felt my whole life Yeah I believe you Because I
00:31:30don't think anybody knows until they've experienced it You know like horrific She broke my tailbone to coming out So that's also like not I didn't know at the time So I'm dealing with a broken tailbone Like I had three tears by a reefer with hair and I had
00:31:44to pee It was horrible Just just the piece you call your daughter a huge pain in the ass for like six months for painting the vagina thing in the whole area Yeah okay So like breastfeeding It's actually a good segue way honestly because because my tailbone is broke
00:32:08in breast feeding was so difficult for me because I couldn't actually sit down Unfortunately like sitting was entirely too painful So I'd have to stand up and walk around and actually breast feed her while standing on And it was really really stressful on me I ended up breastfeeding
00:32:26for about exclusively about two weeks I just wasn't getting a lot out and I went to the doctor and the doctor was like You need to start supplementing So we did And the second I gave her a bottle I mean it was like that was it Like she
00:32:42never latched again She finally slept for the first time in two weeks and I just looked at Dan and I was also working full time and I was like I don't think I can I don't think I can do this So I I stayed pumping for another couple
00:32:54of weeks and I would give her little bits here and there of whatever pumped out of me which wasn't very much But you know I think it's just one of those things where you know fed really is best And yeah I think had I kept going I would
00:33:07have done detriment to not only her and her health but Mia's Well yeah well on that No I just had a question for you Well you never know how much is coming out Well when she's latched But when you're pumping you can when you're pumping you know and
00:33:22I would get I mean from any moms out there who know I would get one ounce total between two breasts after forty five minutes That's nuts It was awful you know and just the nursing me like I'm sure there's people listening who are also nurses are going to
00:33:34you know but you there's more that comes out when the baby actually nurses So that's true But still like one ounce total for a two week old baby after forty five minutes is just not enough Unless your baby's not gaining weight then you know that she's not getting
00:33:46enough on totally But like I what It was like pleasantly thinner I already have it Like the nurse the nurse like parade behind me in my head Like because like you really do like you learn over and over and over again That like breast milk is so important
00:34:03And you you know lets it really encouraged his mom's to breastfeed and you know breast breast breast in And we never like say breast is best but we always say like breast milk the glory just so even me Like I had this big pressure to make sure that
00:34:17I could breastfeed and like make sure that my baby got this breast milk and it's so important And I like like she lashed and it was like painful I mean I had lift drugs I had like craters for nipples They're like cracked and bleeding and like just disgusting
00:34:31Like I don't I think for four guys out there it's I don't know how you made it a year I don't and I because I know how much you wanted to it but I was in a position where I couldn't say anything You know where it's like If
00:34:47you wanted to know if you wanted to quit and just switch over I'd be like Okay fine because I just It's for guys They we don't know We don't know how painful it is or it's just painful to watch something Yeah that's the thing I love about you
00:35:02You're so sweet I really would like That's the truth of the matter That's why we work out because you really would like if I wanted to use cloth diapers He was game because I did But I never did because secretly I was not like he was game and
00:35:15like I was like breasts Now I want to breastfeed but like it's like a week of hippie thoughts and then goes back a regular But you know I hear that it's it's really hard so I thought it But I think it's interesting that you know I breast fed
00:35:29for a year exclusively And you know I think there's a lot of moms who can really with you Erica like you know you try your best you for whatever reason it didn't work out And then there's almost like actual Remember you wrote a really heartfelt log about this
00:35:41where it was like You almost feel shamed like as a mom because you were able to breast feed your baby and because that's the whole thing right now And it's true like it's It's like like force fed to us like that We that breast is best and we've
00:35:52gotta use breast milk and it is true Breast milk is best but there's a reason why Formula's invented Clearly there's like scholars who like grow up on formula Aaliyah is so eh so intelligent I mean she's like so advanced So I mean so for any other mom out
00:36:08there who wasn't able to breastfeed I feel like they can relate with you Erica is a kind of self shaming in sense That is it just like a perceived thought that it's shameful tonight I think to be honest with you I think as women like no matter what
00:36:24we do in that situation were ashamed If we don't breastfeed then were shaved If we breastfeed and we're doing in public where so yeah it's like there's really no winning in that situation which is you know kind of unfortunate because it's probably the single hardest decision that you
00:36:37make as a motherly on is you know to breastfeed And if you can and if you can't Ah so it just It bums me out thinking that like no matter which way you choose you're gonna feel some level of shame during that process I totally one hundred percent
00:36:50agree because that that is just the truth of the matter It's like it's the same thing is like whether you bounce back after after being pregnant or not it's like Oh if you're if you bounce backs and like you're kind of shamed like you're some one hundred percent
00:37:03But if you don't bones back then it's kind of like who she's still got the baby weight on and it's like she just can't win one way or the other So it's like whatever just be you just be healthy and happy Did you see Joanna Kramer She just
00:37:14posted this picture a week post part I mean girl went backto work like so much props to her People were body shaming her and saying like How did you get back so quick Like this is ridiculous and I'm worried for you and it's really really sad because at
00:37:29the end of the day everyone has a different body and also like camera angles And you know what You can't judge a book by a cover and so true It's just it's evident with some of the stories we hear And so it bums me out to think that
00:37:43like women we're dealing with so much during that time period and then we have to deal with all of that On top of it I totally agree Like the hormones in general like we were talking earlier about were literally just texting earlier And you were telling me about
00:37:55this note that you had written to Dan that you actually never like shared with him is it Okay Surprise Surprise And there was a no Yeah Jamie you actually run the note Dan has never read it which is kind of crazy that no almost had me in tears
00:38:09It was like really really sad No Louis most that is that when I read it like I could feel your pain almost like you really felt so unloved and like undesired and not like not beautiful or worthy And that was like what a few weeks after having a
00:38:25Leo You wrote that Yeah it was pretty close to after having her What's crazy is if you had asked me at that time if I was depressed I would have said no Ah and it's so wild that like in hindsight looking back on things like you do realize
00:38:38that like you had depression I had no idea I just like was living life thinking that this was normal to feel these horrible feelings I mean you read the things I was saying Like I mean they were pretty intense feeling So did you have a hint of this
00:38:52at all Yeah So we it was kind of tough to like Erica was not clicking with Aaliya I think the first like probably two months I think I clicked with her a little bit quicker because like I hadn't probably client gone through what Erica and gone through like
00:39:10first like physically like your You're not yourself You have like this extra you know Wait that your your parents we don't feel great about that And you just you just lost like you know a seven pound baby plus all like the extra fluid So it's just like you
00:39:25have all these hormones going around So I think yeah I mean just the hormones alone can I could make it super difficult to just you know realised what you've just gone through you know and like now you have this new life that you have to take care of
00:39:39So I was like they're goingto work because I just you know started my company and I was going to work every day and I would come home and you know I would see Aly and I'd be so excited and Erica would like immediately passed her off to me
00:39:52because that's the other aspect is like Erica wasn't sure what being a mom was Neither of us were So we're like Yeah you know Erica can kind of work from home and also have a baby And it's like Well if you work full time you definitely can't do
00:40:04that But we're just kind of like winging it And she has had so much on her plate that like she just wasn't able to connect with with a Lia as fast So I was I didn't want to say anything What am I going to be like Hey this
00:40:18is weird You're not connecting with the baby like it's a really hard thing to kind of kind of bringing up Um So I knew that she was like a little bit a little bit off and like I would ask her kind of like the wrong questions I was
00:40:31like no gently like Oh you know when I come home you like hand her off to me really quick Like is everything you know Okay Which is again is probably the wrong question That is probably looking deeper rooted issue do it And I wasn't trying to you know
00:40:44gloss over And I just had I mean Sames as Erica didn't know she was depressed I didn't really know either I just knew that she had It wasn't God I was gonna say Is there a ah away like a good question to ask Or is there a way
00:41:00to ask that question Yeah I mean that's a good question I obviously didn't And so maybe Eric you know everybody's different obviously but it is I mean if if guys are seeing that is there anything that that we could say that kind of not come off I think
00:41:20the best thing to say honestly what is you know what can I do to help I think that leaves it open Ended enough for you to feel comfortable maybe expressing what that you need from them Or expressing how you're feeling I think for me you have to imagine
00:41:35I went back to work right away I thought I could handle being a mom So I was in survival mode He would leave for work at eight a M And I was running two full companies while trying to take care of this newborn And so for me it
00:41:47wasn't like all let me take care of her And like coddle er it was like How do I keep her like needs met and then also run my business at the same time So when he'd walk in the door at night I was just like Fried I was
00:41:58a Iittle money And you start to resent you literally start to resent your husband your baby everything It was really just a really really tough time And finally around three months and I looked at him and I said I need help I can't do this And you know
00:42:15the depression started to alleviate itself a little bit Once I got help we hired some someday help I started a part time ended up going to full time pretty quickly after But yeah I mean asking for help It's like I feel like my always number one tip for
00:42:31any new family is ask for help And don't be scared Yeah don't don't be ashamed of having help either There's no shame You know where I'm like my family You don't really like having a nanny is like almost like frowned upon and that I don't know why but
00:42:46life form on the farm I live on a farm but you know like e guess we live like a bit more of a simple life And it was almost like truly frowned upon Like I don't know like almost like what Can you take care of your own kids
00:42:58kind of thing But like when you're running businesses or even if you're a full time mom like working at something else you need help And some even if you're a stay at home mom I could imagine you still need help Like oh one hundred percent It is like
00:43:12no effin joke And you know what's so funny that you guys said Because I thought the same thing I was like Oh yeah I could still work Well you know I I also worked straight through like never would be from the TV show like one hundred percent Plus
00:43:24on top of that I was you know working as a nurse But then I just started brand new job Yeah So when we had no help either like I didn't Erica you know this because I was like I don't know if I could afford help And you're like
00:43:36Yes you can like trust but you just need to get some help and that I her did because I mean because then when you spend time with your daughter it is that much more valuable because you're able to actually be present and focus and you know really be
00:43:50with her We're really lucky because my in laws you know they don't know they wanted to overstep it first So the first few months were definitely rough But the minute I said that I needed help like steady help like every single week Now they watch our daughter Thursday
00:44:05and Friday for us Yeah thankfully they live I mean twenty minutes away now buddy you don't have that Your parents both your parents don't live in Chicago Yeah unfortunately don't have any family out here My parents actually did just buy ah place out here but it's it's still
00:44:21very infrequent like they'll come upon you know every other weekend or something So I mean really during the week we were completely on our own Dan you remember watching watching her for the first time like just by yourself at home like during the day like getting a sense
00:44:40of what Erica was going through Because I remember the day where Jamie left I think you flew somewhere and it was like my first day where I had chores to do around the house and wake up with the baby and spend the whole day with the baby And
00:44:56I got maybe one thing off of trying to do for the entire day I don't know It was when I got my nails done That was when I got done No I remember But you have to You guys have to also understand Dan is also Mr Mom So
00:45:09like he's not your typical dad He really took like the mothering role like really quickly And I would say that goal I mean he was he was with Ah but I mean he I will give him a ton of credit and that like I feel like and I
00:45:30felt like this since day one He was an exact substitute for me If I was there I didn't feel any worry Any concern There was never to the honest with someone of the opposite where like I feel like he was guiding me a little bit He wanted kids
00:45:43so so bad and I really was the one that was like I don't know if I'm ready And so he really not only did he want them and push for them but then like took the lead when she was here and really like helped use me into the
00:45:54rule So it since it's different than a lot of normal circumstances Yeah that's what I just kind of tying and tying it back to like the breast feeding thing Like when you're breast feeding at night like the guy you can kinda help out but not you know not
00:46:07really So we get water exactly and fall back asleep Were like when we were doing When you're doing formula you really like split those those duties and I'm I'm just like away lighter sleeper and I just don't need as much sleep is Erica So I would I would
00:46:24have just handle most that anyway Like if she woke up four times at night I'd probably wake up like three of those times I think it really helped us bond also because like in those moments like it's you know too in the morning you're exhausted I just remember
00:46:38like sitting with her on the couch No giving her a bottle stuff like bad So I guess a pro a pro for the formula side is if your dad and you want to like get that You know nighttime bonding it's I think it's really quick to do it
00:46:52Um and again Not a anti breastfeeding Just do you know silver lining toe you know doing doing bottles Yeah I know It's true because I don't think Doug trust me if I'm wrong Doug I never throws food Now you never did breast Sorry No but I kind of
00:47:11felt like Not that you didn't bond with her I wouldn't say that because he bonded with her He's also Mr Mom Like like I don't know about I mean yeah I would say the same thing I'm very motherly though too It's not I'm not the same as you
00:47:24are Quite like I think we've talked about this before but I mean I've always wanted kids I mean I want ten of them if I could but Doug is like so good with kids so comfortable around them Whatever the case any but I think you're like almost may
00:47:34be scared of her or something I don't know Like I can't explain it Like he would always ask me everything Like if she needed to eat if she needed to be changed What she should wear are genuine genuine everything Everything you ever needed He had asked me first
00:47:45and I was like Can you just one point I was like We can't I'm not here I just need to take a nap Like remember when you said that I was like just pretend that I'm not here and you can't ask me any questions like just figure it
00:47:55out Like I have got to take it nothing now But I I mean it wass some of the crying nights or just like torture Oh my God I don't miss those I just It was I was trying Teo you know when when you were breast feeding for I
00:48:13mean you had breast milk for a year so it's probably a good six months where I didn't have the bottle I mean we don't know when we started the bottle but that was like like it was always just like my job was toe Go get Henley and bring
00:48:28her into the bed Jamie was half awake is from thinking optimistically and just just literally placing Henley on her boob I would just I would I would pretty much latch my daughter onto your boob and that was that was it for a while And you know once the
00:48:47bottle feeding came then it was kind of you kind of had that moment you know where mothers have and you're looking down and they look back you and then they would Then it started to kind of click and it started like we had that connection And I don't
00:49:03know The best thing was when she like would just smile and like you when she was young Just say when I came home like she would just genuinely get excited That was always the best free Yeah she still knows that it's not fair Doesn't do the same for
00:49:15me It's the best feeling I think like one big takeaway from this though Is that like it's okay not to have love at first sight And I think so many women out there don't realize that they think like Oh I'm not completely obsessed Infatuated would do anything for
00:49:30this person I you know I'm a horrible mom and the fact of the matter is like this is a new person and like great If if you do I feel that initial you know connection But if you don't like it will come sometimes It'll come in a week
00:49:43Sometimes it could take nine months But either way like you will get that connection with your child And I mean I was just looking at her tonight before we put it in a bed And I said I looked like Do you know how much I love you More
00:49:55than any single human saying anything on this entire earth And she just looked at me She's like I love you too Mama And like I could cry in that moment so like it will happen I mean I just never want any woman out there to feel like if
00:50:08they don't feel that initial connection that they're any less than any other mom that happened to my mom with me I think it was Ah it was a little over a year actually that she had that postpartum depression And yeah it was tough for her toe to shake
00:50:21it And yeah my dad said it was a tough time but she went through it And you know it was just like one day just sort of clicks Were you the the first kid or where were you And I was the oldest so it was me And then
00:50:33sixteen or seventeen months later it was ah my sister And then they waited a couple of years and then it's on the oldest of three When he is needed our friends just had just had another kid And we're saying we're talking about we're like how are we gonna
00:50:48like love another kid as much as a leah And you think like this kid's gonna be born and you've had two and a half years the bond Yeah the first one way asked me like how we're like Did you do you bond to me He goes three months
00:51:02before like I even like cared because like ah like it because the wife is taking care of the you know the baby primarily And he's kind of like he's he's totally Mr Mom when it comes to even more than I am with the lady Like the daughter just
00:51:16absolutely loves him So he has his one daughter He was like man it took me like three months before I was like started to love this baby so way I mean we we found out that we were was a chemical pregnancy or some like that but it came
00:51:32out She took a pregnancy test and it came out positive And I just remember it was It was were like I was happy but it was almost like I felt bad for Hedley was weird because I was like how I don't wantto take time away from Henley You
00:51:47know like I love this kid more than anything And I don't know how I would take a new person coming E just think about how much I love my siblings now Like I couldn't imagine my life that's good about my brother's grounds Way I thought it was like
00:52:01Yeah maybe you lose a little bit of attention from from the dad but then they have this other person that's there who that's going to be with them for a you know hopefully forever You know like we're not gonna be around forever So to be able to give
00:52:12them you know a brother sister for you know for fortune enough That's like such a great gift you could give her We're hoping for a brother for Hanley I was once a girl I kind of want her to have a sister first And then you see little boys
00:52:29after we won't like it because that's a lot of babies Can't wait though I am Yuto Work my tail off for him because there's a dance a little bit more romantic You already got your pants off That's way Put in your apartment You put in your party share
00:52:50right I'm giving some strip strip pa gas leaving number two Ah you may get lucky tonight Jim You're saying we play your cards right Yeah yeah yeah Okay Well I could sit here and talk to you guys all day for real but I'm curious if you guys have
00:53:10a favorite like mom life or like Dad life like quote or like motto that you live by life or we rapping about Yeah we're we're wrapping it up Although I actually really wanted to ask them like what How their sex life was after Like after being pregnant to
00:53:26do that another time Well now that I brought it up I'm a asshole Put him right on the spot I'll let Dan take that one Yeah I mean it's definitely tough because like for the first like I can't reverse It was six weeks are like eight weeks But
00:53:44you you can't you like It's not safe to have sex for two months and then you got this gigantic change going on and you're sleep deprived and like I know for the first lights six months probably like when my head hit the pillow It's in like twenty seconds
00:54:01I was asleep just as we were running on like four five hours of sleep a night And like even when we had a night nurse which we were able to do for a little bit you're still just like on edge like you just keep waking up every like
00:54:12two hours So you really have to really have to make time for it and make it a priority like schedule it If you have to like make sure that you're you're making sure that you do that because it's really easy to like slip through and go like three
00:54:30weeks without without having sex And I'm not even thinking about it either Exactly like we've never gone more than like a month Which month is you know along A pretty long time I don't you know there's a lot of people that can make it even longer But it's
00:54:45really easy just like just go through that routine What's with black sleep in New baby So you can definitely be can be tough And I was always a big fan of not having the baby sleep in the room Yeah he was like adamant that she was never going
00:55:00to sleep in our bed Because Stephen every night when she cries Yeah because then she doesn't ever leave our bed And so should we are for I think were unfortunate that I married someone like that because I definitely would have been like Theo boob Let's just all go
00:55:13to sleep Really It was in her crib within three days That's see that's crazy I wears like LA That's so smart I mean I think that's really smart Remember this is so sideway but like like Sideway topic But sleep training like Eriko is like a huge supporter of
00:55:30it And I remember what we would have like talks like you know whether or not like what we felt about it And I was so opposed to sleep training So I was like you know it just I just thought for me I don't want my baby to cry
00:55:40And what if she needs me Like I just was like Well I don't mind getting up with her but there comes a time when you just break like you I mean it's unbelievable And then that that like that we go into putting your going to putting her down
00:55:54like I don't want to put her down tonight You do it You can you do it Can you get the first crack and you get Yeah like we would put down no two hours she'd be up so I'd be like okay if I put her down now than
00:56:03in two hours You're the one getting up with her and then it would be like two hours from that she's crying again like she just she just constantly need to be cuddled to go to sleep And so then I I like broke and I just might One of
00:56:15my nursing colleagues actually told me about like the Ferber message And she told me this book to Rene's I read the book and and honestly like I didn't even read the whole entire book I read enough to realize that I'm not I'm not hurting my baby She's not
00:56:27going to be like mentally like damaged if I in like that sounds like so Arnold cold But like she's not going to be mentally damaged I'm actually teaching her to self suits which is really important skills Tohave She sleeps better longer now She has better quality sleep now
00:56:42But the thing is is that it's not an easy feat you guys now because you said you guys didn't sleep training early with Julia which is so smart because yeah didn't just sell your weed Yeah I think so many people there to take a bad rap about it
00:56:56But if you do it responsibly and you're you're really realistically like you're giving them a much better quality of life Like he said like they're getting more sleep they just don't know You have to teach him that your role as a parent is to teach them the skills
00:57:09And we did the same thing We did the gentle Ferber method and you know within two days she was sleeping through the night And I think that it's just something that you it's not even about it They're ready It's if you weren't ready So one hundred cause they
00:57:23are real They're ready I mean she was trying to be did it around six months Took two days and I can count on like literally my hands How many times she's woken up in the middle of night sense Yeah Why is you know what's so funny is that
00:57:37I remember actually go into your house in Chicago It's fighting the night And remember you've just put Lee on your in her crib and she just goes to sleep And I was like I remember like he would show me video of like you know her just like playing
00:57:48in there in her crib not crying And I'm like she doesn't cry when she's alone in the crib was like before we ever stop train Like if she was awakened the crib it was just screaming like issue had never never felt comfortable in there without like us being
00:58:01in there Also that because that's all she knows You know he's like Okay I cry I get my parents like of course he's going to keep I've seen right Well she knows I've seen Jamie go into Henley script with that I mean it got really bad I really
00:58:14banged like weak So I literally climbed in that crib with her more than once I like set up a bed for you and the baby monitor Things like doing Yeah you know I'm like you ass hole Like I'm like I can't sleep at all You're sleeping But here
00:58:29you know he has a regular ninety five I was just so s entire So anyway is weak We did get to our breaking point and and now I'm and like just to like put it out there like I wouldn't recommend sleep training before six months I think I
00:58:42think like they say five or six months is when the baby is like actually ready for that before you do lead to address when every single time they cry because they don't know like the difference And that's how they want to trust you But at like the six
00:58:52month mark Yep They're definitely ready for you Can You can tell when they're ready Tio it's It's like you just know And we took the Q from our doctor like our doctor is the one that said she should be sleeping through the night There's no reason she should
00:59:05be waking for a feed And then we said Okay you know there's no reason she should be waiting for Pete Let's do this And like you said same as you two nights That was it And I never looked back And any mom out there who hasn't slept trained
00:59:17you're like your rights never gonna happen for me That's what that was me I was like Yeah but that's not gonna happen for me Like I can't picture my daughter like just putting her in the crib It's like it's a crazy like I still I'm like shocked that
00:59:28I could literally Tonight we have our routine like our normal bedtime routine on her in the crib She's awake when I put her down and then within five minutes she puts herself to sleep She says I sleep all night long although she does wake up around like four
00:59:40five or so and give her a bottle I feel like that's like throwing upon what we do because we just give her the bottle and she goes right back to sleep and I'm getting other like six hours And I have a friend that does That was like a
00:59:50three year old They like Just like having a bottle in the mornings Like whatever If you don't care if you don't mind Yeah Just get you know whatever You guys want to do it It's totally cool You know that's exactly it too Like that's exactly it though Is
01:00:02that like whether or not you want to co sleep with your baby If you don't mind I don't mind either Yeah like or that like we knew We wantto start trying for baby number two like pretty much immediately And we're like Well that's not gonna happen with the
01:00:15baby in our bed So that's for me That was the only reason why she she wasn't like smuggling with us And I never felt comfortable because I always wake up excited Douglas He just has to go there Jamie if you ever want Well if you ever do want
01:00:31Oh have you ever do want a wean her off that bottle You're talking If you ever do want a wean her off of that middle of the night bottle we have that same thing for a while and and we got a great tip in it worked So the
01:00:48first night you give her you know her regular bottle and every night you reduce it by like a half an hour or an ounce and usually by the end where they're only getting about half announced They might like wake up in like and for a second But they're
01:00:59like so not there over it at that point and that's how we got only off that for five and feed Really Because I was just saying to Doug I want to try to get her off like like their arms out of cold turkey I think that that was
01:01:13pretty Yeah I mean because our routine right now is we dio like the bass and then we dio we should do book Gobber like I feel like we're bad parents We don't always read a book before bed but sometimes she's just watch TV is the same thing No
01:01:26way d'Oh We've been watching the line way singing songs We love it but she can't wait till she could play PlayStation for E I mean you never know until you try it Your remote and give her a fake remote so she doesn't have with my remote What ae
01:01:46You know But I wanted you cold turkey and she's almost a year and a half So I was like you know we just Look let's just try this like we stopped trained and we fear that out We went like one nap trying note the no bottle thing But
01:01:57she you know she just likes having a bottle and then a classifier We snuggle a little bit and I put her in That's it Like so But yeah maybe we will try that like just instead of cold turkey I'm such an all or nothing Okay At this point
01:02:09though I feel like we really are Like I mean this is like I could just talk to you all day We're on the phone talking Theo but yes Okay So any Do you have any Like what are your top tips for keeping your ministry in parenting Cool Just
01:02:24one more favorite quote Dash Run Dan Jerry you wanna start Keep it So it was everything Parenting cool and marriage God I feel like those are two Very different but I got nothing that feels like both of those Well now you can do one of the other doesn't
01:02:41But that's art That's by the way Dan that's that's the name of the show she So Eric told me you were coming on and I didn't I didn't know nothing about Thanks a lot Dan Yeah that's what Erica Oh sure Blame it on May there That's when you
01:02:59know you're definitely really good Like there hasn't really been made public so yeah I would fall So has anyone made like a bomb comment that fits both of those buckets goes well it'll be in all honesty you guys may be the first person so I'll give an example
01:03:15Teo just to keep things moving along So for for the hot marriage one thing that Jamie and I started to do was every Friday night no matter what we would go on a date night which mostly was going out to dinner and target thing open at like nine
01:03:37And we would go and we would wait until the baby's asleep Wait until the sitter put the baby in bank so you could just not have anything to do But dad God us I mean that got us out of the house and in life I was coming home
01:03:53late We would go out on a date every Friday night have a sitter and come home and night and literally have one night a week where You know when I was I had to put the baby down and it was like heaven But before we Slattery like so
01:04:07that's my tip Okay but we haven't actually cat that date night in a couple weeks We gotta fix that Okay Erica what Your text Um well so I have little less of a tip and more just like in general like a much of that Actually Dan and I
01:04:23both really lived by when it comes to relationships So we like to think of ah relationship like the foundation of the house on def Your foundation is solid and you have the same morals the same beliefs the same integrity and all of that Then like the house itself
01:04:39And like what's painted on it and the shutters and all those things don't matter And the shutters are things like Do you guys like the same activities Are you guys you know like is one of you super into something And the other one isn't We just believe that's
01:04:53all of it Yeah No we just We just don't think that the little things matter in life As long as our foundation is like solid Ah the little things like the paint color and the shutters don't matter So I just I just always keep that in mind Why
01:05:07you married the person and you guys were going to change over the years that you're who you are suppression your core That foundation that that house is poured on is always going to be rock solid I love that ring Our foundation were strangers So I mean there's that
01:05:20But I get what you're saying Old condition called modular home We bought it Just take it right down It was like pre arranged but ah no Then do you guys have like a favorite quote We want to end each podcast with like Ah favorite quote It does not
01:05:39It doesn't have to be anything other than Burgess Randall No My goodness I have a favorite quote like that You just live by Yeah So this is going off of the home thing I like to say that marriage is like a home maintenance When the smoke detector starts
01:05:56beeping you fix it You don't go and buy a new house No that's digging deeper than mine That's right It's like wow today's tomorrow's yesterday That's just I got some steeper actually although it's so too I think especially the first couple years of marriage it's like something happens
01:06:18and you're just like a home I don't know if this is gonna work but like reality is like it's like a house like if something's broke you fix it You're not going to go and put your house on the market just because like something small is wrong and
01:06:27you have to remember that you know all of these things are fixable You just have to work on them Yeah and if it's something small like have patients and also like you know Ah compromise and learned that you have to grow either one of your perfect So like
01:06:41try to compromise and grow together Yeah I love it Well thank you guys So much for for being on the show part Thank you for having us We love you guys So for everybody who loved hearing Erica's advice use everything Erica on Instagram and she's at everything erica
01:06:58dot com and Dan's Dad Life is her hubby Dan and he has the Cubists Me this little Instagram I love following him and you guys can follow him at Dan's Dad buy at Dan's dad life He's really funny Follow it He's really So what do you think You
01:07:21would love you somebody Yeah Thanks Jamie Otis Jamie Demeanor It's actually lean and notice just just so everyone knows extremely and notice there's an animal thing Give all your hugs and kisses for us We will save family Verify guys Oh my gosh I love them They are the
01:07:47best We could honestly talked to them for a while I you and Dan are like the same person If we had such a good time on New Year's wasn't New Year's No it wasn't new yourself Like what Every time I go to Times Square I think it's new
01:08:00Yeah So funny It's terrible That's really terrible How cliche Now we went toe Manhattan with them was a cheese of it It was It was for Dorothy She's actually was one of my neighbor cheeses And Dorothy she's won an award I never I've never had so much cheese
01:08:16and one Oh my gosh There was cheese like the everything I mean it was unbelievable I wish we had a picture of me Couldn't save picture Anyway sir Pasha Story behind Dorothy cheese though is what is amazing Yeah this woman was like truly a pioneer but yeah we
01:08:32had such a great talk with them We were met with them in Manhattan And then I've been out to Chicago to see her and she's just such a great soul So yeah I'm so glad that you guys stuck in and listen to what the podcast today And if
01:08:46you are someone who is tryingto like begin family planning or if you want any information on that you've got to tune in for next week because we have something in England dear something near and dear to our on with fertility and pregnancy And I mean especially now after
01:09:05having one child and then going for a second it's you know you could never know enough about fertility and what to do before and what to do if you can't Yeah exactly And then there's also I mean there's a lot of women that struggle with infertility so uneven
01:09:18men and also and so like if you have just trust me If you have any of these issues or concerns that are or if you're family planning at all definitely tune into next week's episode It's all about infertility infertility from Devon Jake Fertility I Q And we're just
01:09:36going to share a lot of like I guess details and impose and tips So I have so many questions for them I mean I can't wait I genuinely want to see if the position sexual position leads to a boy or girl Well I guess we'll have to find
01:09:53out I think they would be the ones to know I guess if anybody knows they would know But I'm going to go with No I hate to ruin your your thunder Well I guess waft away We'll wait and find out But you guys so much for tuning in
01:10:05today and we will see you in next week When Wednesday mornings One Our podcast goes alive The bugs killed pasta Cascos Lie Eve's All right And we love you We love you guys Thanks for listening Right right I literally talk about the first time I ever saw my
01:10:27husband's penis and touched it If you want it then story goto amazon dot com and search wife you want I want to go to genius dot com and snag autographed copy of my book and coming from someone that was crying at the altar and thought the experts failed
01:10:42them Three days later he touched my It's true Visit us online at jamie otis dot com for more great resource is

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