Full Transcript for 283. Let's F*cking Date with Serena Kerrigan

rules that you can implement really easily. 02:30.597 --> 02:34.880 [SPEAKER_01]: It's not like you'll just know and things are just going to feel good and just follow your intuition. 02:34.920 --> 02:42.867 [SPEAKER_01]: No, she's going to tell you what to do and obviously you want it to feel good and adjust as you go, but like these are some bumpers for your dating life. 02:42.907 --> 02:43.727 [SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's great. 02:43.747 --> 02:46.409 [SPEAKER_01]: And even if you aren't actively dating if you're single, 02:47.310 --> 02:52.752 [SPEAKER_01]: or if you're married, like I think it's also really fun to hear about these things and apply what you can. 02:53.333 --> 03:00.416 [SPEAKER_01]: Even though most of the book didn't apply to me, I still enjoyed reading it because I'm like, yeah, I can use that confidence hack. 03:00.456 --> 03:00.756 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 03:00.776 --> 03:02.057 [SPEAKER_01]: I can use that in my life. 03:02.517 --> 03:04.638 [SPEAKER_01]: And that's what's really fun about her. 03:05.860 --> 03:06.340 [SPEAKER_01]: everything. 03:06.700 --> 03:08.041 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's it, right? 03:08.061 --> 03:10.521 [SPEAKER_02]: Is like we're constantly looking for a confident attack. 03:10.541 --> 03:16.983 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think so often we look outside of ourselves to be validated in a situation of, okay, now I have this. 03:17.023 --> 03:20.723 [SPEAKER_02]: I can be confident now like XYZ fill in the blank. 03:20.764 --> 03:34.187 [SPEAKER_02]: And so much of her quote unquote rules are like really about bringing the power back to yourself and how you can control every single situation to make yourself feel good and feel really empowered when you date or do anything that feels outside of your comfort zone. 03:36.067 --> 03:52.079 [SPEAKER_02]: At the end of the day all you're walking away with is just like so much fucking confidence and like I don't know You did it for yourself and that's really fun and so we had a great conversation We played some games talked about dating and we can't wait for you to hear it So we'll see you on the other side. 03:52.699 --> 03:53.620 [SPEAKER_02]: Bye bye 03:55.336 --> 03:57.157 [SPEAKER_03]: Hi guys, I'm Serena Care again. 03:57.458 --> 04:06.785 [SPEAKER_03]: I am a creator entrepreneur, but most importantly, I am the author of Let's Fucking Date, which is a new dating Bible that is coming out September 22nd. 04:07.325 --> 04:11.408 [SPEAKER_03]: The ethos of the book is to become the prize and to wear the ride and never settle again. 04:12.740 --> 04:13.701 [SPEAKER_02]: So amazing. 04:14.041 --> 04:16.183 [SPEAKER_02]: We have a cast-finished your book. 04:16.323 --> 04:25.389 [SPEAKER_02]: I am 40 pages away from being finished with your book and it's incredible It's so fun to read especially being a single woman in the dating world. 04:25.749 --> 04:28.051 [SPEAKER_02]: I have a story for you later But we'll get to it. 04:29.372 --> 04:37.698 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's begin with kind of your like confidence ethos because we've been watching you as our self confidence queen for years on TikTok 04:38.418 --> 04:42.582 [SPEAKER_02]: And it feels like something you're born with, but I know confidence takes work. 04:42.762 --> 04:44.324 [SPEAKER_02]: So first, are you going to fucking care again? 04:44.504 --> 04:45.965 [SPEAKER_02]: Where does it come from for you? 04:47.507 --> 04:49.729 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like confidence we're all born with confidence. 04:49.909 --> 04:52.111 [SPEAKER_03]: Think about when we were a little kids in the park and know 04:52.687 --> 05:08.858 [SPEAKER_03]: Someone pushed us at the playground and then we just got up and we're like, whatever, like, I think we really are all born with the confidence is just when we see ourselves as if you like in our perception of ourselves with society, whether it's like traditional beauty or whatever, maybe or someone made a comment to us or parent relationship, like, 05:09.118 --> 05:14.440 [SPEAKER_03]: That's when we start to get infected with insecurity, but I think that confidence is there. 05:14.460 --> 05:18.262 [SPEAKER_03]: We just have to kind of disinfect ourselves and do a lot of our morning as we get older. 05:18.762 --> 05:25.045 [SPEAKER_03]: So, one, the way that I proceed confidence is that it's really just treating yourself like your own best friend. 05:25.165 --> 05:25.926 [SPEAKER_03]: That's all it is. 05:25.966 --> 05:28.687 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not like loving yourself all the time or liking everything you do. 05:29.407 --> 05:33.833 [SPEAKER_03]: But at the end of the day, like, fear sleep is always going to bat for your best from like you would, right? 05:33.893 --> 05:39.060 [SPEAKER_03]: Like at the end of the day, like your best friend might piss you off, she might borrow a shirt from you that you didn't say that you could take. 05:39.120 --> 05:44.708 [SPEAKER_03]: Like she might just annoy you, but at the end of the day, you'll always really love her and feel strongly about her. 05:44.728 --> 05:46.090 [SPEAKER_03]: And if she's in a position where like, 05:47.362 --> 05:52.027 [SPEAKER_03]: She gets dumped or she gets laid off or she's just not feeling good about herself. 05:52.067 --> 05:53.388 [SPEAKER_03]: You always know what to say. 05:54.169 --> 05:55.571 [SPEAKER_03]: So why don't you do that to yourself? 05:55.671 --> 06:00.055 [SPEAKER_03]: Why can't you give yourself that same nurturing and love and grace that you would a best friend? 06:00.255 --> 06:09.245 [SPEAKER_03]: And so if you can start doing that and really treating yourself like that and speaking to yourself like your best friend, it really will unlock, that's what confidence is. 06:11.820 --> 06:12.281 [SPEAKER_01]: I love that. 06:12.321 --> 06:15.203 [SPEAKER_01]: So did you have to do some disinfecting or sure? 06:15.303 --> 06:16.563 [SPEAKER_03]: Well it's good disinfecting. 06:16.744 --> 06:17.424 [SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely.

06:18.084 --> 06:32.233 [SPEAKER_03]: A lot of disinfecting and really you do it by speaking to yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself like you're on best front and like it seems cliche, it seems awkward or cringe but it's free, it's painless and it makes a lot of sense when you think about it. 06:32.333 --> 06:37.817 [SPEAKER_03]: Like you're literally the same way you would hype up anyone you love in your life and that you're so quick to give that nurturing to them. 06:38.355 --> 06:40.623 [SPEAKER_03]: you need to be able to shoot yourself that we don't do that. 06:40.844 --> 06:43.312 [SPEAKER_03]: We're so quick to be so mean to ourselves. 06:43.868 --> 06:47.609 [SPEAKER_03]: So that's something that I learned that mirror practice really helps me with my own confidence. 06:47.649 --> 07:08.634 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, did you feel like when you got more confident and you stay in your book how you're like that star personality and like a little bit louder, do you feel like you ever hit like tension between friends or maybe anyone that you dated because you like we're working on your confidence and you were really coming into your own and like breaking out of that shell. 07:11.531 --> 07:16.675 [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't always have like a really big personality, but I don't think that that's tied with confidence. 07:16.876 --> 07:21.339 [SPEAKER_03]: Like tons of people that are, like my boyfriend is the rock in our relationship. 07:21.399 --> 07:25.783 [SPEAKER_03]: Like he's quite our patient, does erases voice. 07:27.104 --> 07:29.066 [SPEAKER_03]: He's more confident than I am, right? 07:29.086 --> 07:35.071 [SPEAKER_03]: So I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have tripped you being loud and having a big personality with confidence. 07:35.091 --> 07:36.192 [SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes if anything, 07:36.577 --> 07:38.319 [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe it's like an over-compensation. 07:38.339 --> 07:42.502 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like I did a little bit when I built like this persona, a street-of-fucking character. 07:42.562 --> 07:56.155 [SPEAKER_03]: And I felt like I had to be this big, huge energy because that would like, you know, I'd fill up, say, so take up space in a room when really like just being Serena and being okay with that was like the true essence of my confidence. 07:57.178 --> 07:58.639 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, being quiet. 07:58.679 --> 08:00.461 [SPEAKER_02]: That's what's really hard for me. 08:01.001 --> 08:12.510 [SPEAKER_02]: Is like being okay, being more quiet or like not filling in every space or putting on and having that speak as confidence and not speak as like indecisiveness and insecurity. 08:12.530 --> 08:18.015 [SPEAKER_02]: Because for me, it's like if I'm not monitoring a situation, I feel like so uncomfortable. 08:18.675 --> 08:20.557 [SPEAKER_02]: But I know we talk about it in your book a little bit too. 08:21.647 --> 08:31.300 [SPEAKER_03]: No, but even that happened to me with dating like I would show up to dates like I would plan

the date I picked the time to restaurant like I'd pick what we're eating because I was overmanaging everything because I was afraid if I didn't. 08:31.974 --> 08:32.754 [SPEAKER_03]: that it wouldn't happen. 08:33.334 --> 08:39.236 [SPEAKER_03]: And if you stop managing a situation and it doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant to happen, right? 08:39.616 --> 08:46.317 [SPEAKER_03]: It took out like letting go and trusting, like trusting that it's going to unfold the way it's supposed to. 08:46.397 --> 08:47.757 [SPEAKER_03]: That doesn't mean not going on dates. 08:47.817 --> 08:49.378 [SPEAKER_03]: And it's gonna be like, he's gonna show up. 08:49.918 --> 08:53.419 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's more like letting the man take the lead there. 08:53.899 --> 08:55.959 [SPEAKER_03]: And show his interest, which is through pursuit. 09:01.150 --> 09:02.872 [SPEAKER_03]: a lot of things, but it's okay. 09:02.912 --> 09:07.215 [SPEAKER_03]: I think first and foremost, there's not many things you can control, right? 09:07.656 --> 09:12.419 [SPEAKER_03]: The only thing you can really control or two things, you're mindset and the way you put yourself out there. 09:12.820 --> 09:13.180 [SPEAKER_03]: That's it. 09:13.921 --> 09:19.345 [SPEAKER_03]: And I find that the mindset part, I find that it's been like, maybe needs a serious reprint. 09:19.525 --> 09:23.849 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, it is like, I just hear a single woman be like, it's so hard, it's so tough, men's stuff. 09:24.129 --> 09:27.210 [SPEAKER_03]: It's the worst near city is the worst place to date and or my city is the worst place. 09:27.691 --> 09:29.751 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, your words become reality. 09:29.972 --> 09:34.814 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, if you were an athlete and you went to the court and you're like, we're going to lose where the worst team and we're never going to win. 09:34.834 --> 09:36.174 [SPEAKER_03]: We're not going to hit the hit the goal. 09:36.875 --> 09:37.335 [SPEAKER_03]: You won't. 09:38.115 --> 09:38.575 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you won't. 09:38.635 --> 09:39.756 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, tons of athletes. 09:40.716 --> 09:50.438 [SPEAKER_03]: compete and by the way, like I don't know something that's worth, but I know that tons of athletes compete against other athletes that are better than them, but they don't go into that match being like I'm gonna lose Yeah, so why do we do that? 09:50.478 --> 09:54.359 [SPEAKER_03]: We're setting ourselves up for failure in that way, and it's literally the only thing we can control Mm-hmm. 09:54.439 --> 10:02.321 [SPEAKER_03]: Like that is to some degree what manifesting is it's really believing that the in the outcome And I think that if you believe that you will find your person you will find them. 10:02.461 --> 10:04.382 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah a hundred percent that 10:05.279 --> 10:07.240 [SPEAKER_03]: coupled with putting yourself out there. 10:07.260 --> 10:09.721 [SPEAKER_03]: And that means stepping outside of your comfort zone. 10:09.761 --> 10:14.322 [SPEAKER_03]: I think that I hear a lot of like, I don't where to mean, I don't want to do the apps. 10:14.402 --> 10:17.243 [SPEAKER_03]: It's really about, you have to constantly be going on dates. 10:17.263 --> 10:25.546 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not like it's your full-time job by any means, but again, I just hear a lot of women be like, and I just for context to your listeners, like I was single throughout my year to hold 20. 10:25.586 --> 10:27.527 [SPEAKER_03]: So I'm not standing on a soapbox being like, 10:28.667 --> 10:30.048 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I was that single bitch too. 10:30.208 --> 10:32.949 [SPEAKER_03]: I also didn't want to go on the fucking gates with some random So I get it. 10:33.149 --> 10:33.989 [SPEAKER_03]: I know what it's like. 10:34.049 --> 10:52.775 [SPEAKER_03]: I know that it sucks But you have to if you want a partner this is part of doing the work, which is like also stepping outside your comfort zone Maybe going to somewhere like a new coffee shop that you've never gone to before not with the intention of meeting a guy But just to challenge yourself and do something different because when you do that typically you do have a different magnetism about you and 10:54.215 --> 10:55.556 [SPEAKER_03]: You never know what's going to come with it. 10:55.596 --> 10:57.897 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, you could meet a woman who then could introduce you to a guy. 10:57.917 --> 10:59.138 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you could meet a gay bestie. 10:59.158 --> 11:01.679 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, it's just about opening up your world. 11:02.019 --> 11:02.319 [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. 11:03.139 --> 11:03.420 [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely. 11:03.440 --> 11:05.921 [SPEAKER_03]: Because sometimes I feel like we're like, I'm happy single. 11:06.101 --> 11:07.642 [SPEAKER_03]: I have an amazing life, an amazing career. 11:07.682 --> 11:12.564 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, when I get home, I want to watch my show and have, like, I don't want to go out and waste two hours of the guy that sucks. 11:13.024 --> 11:14.205 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, so fair. 11:14.705 --> 11:16.406 [SPEAKER_03]: But how do you want to meet someone then? 11:16.426 --> 11:16.786 [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. 11:18.327 --> 11:19.267 [SPEAKER_01]: Door to get out of the house. 11:19.287 --> 11:19.768 [SPEAKER_03]: This is where... 11:20.663 --> 11:37.278 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, this is where I feel really unhelpful to Emma and my other single friends because I met my husband at 20 in college and now we've been together for 10 years and it's like, oh yeah, it just happens when you say that and they'll just like come find you and it's like, oh my God, that's so fucking annoying. 11:37.398 --> 11:43.843 [SPEAKER_01]: It was just all this chance that led to me meeting him in that exact place and great for me, but it's like, 11:44.757 --> 11:48.703 [SPEAKER_03]: It's the most I'm sorry, I've ever said a shit person and being most annoying is that it's true. 11:48.883 --> 11:49.284 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, true. 11:49.624

--> 11:55.212 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's true in the sense of like, when I met my boyfriend, it definitely was random like I did expect it. 11:55.232 --> 11:59.118 [SPEAKER_03]: It was a guest on his podcast literally like I didn't even have mascara on. 11:59.158 --> 12:00.160 [SPEAKER_03]: I had no idea. 12:00.500 --> 12:04.442 [SPEAKER_03]: However, I was at a point in my life where I was saying yes to a lot of different opportunities. 12:04.943 --> 12:09.625 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't really typically get an interview by men on their podcast because I at skew very female audience. 12:10.045 --> 12:11.806 [SPEAKER_03]: So I remember what I came up with in my inbox. 12:11.846 --> 12:12.607 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, that's interesting. 12:12.627 --> 12:13.267 [SPEAKER_03]: I should do that. 12:13.587 --> 12:17.029 [SPEAKER_03]: That is saying yes to something that could be outside of my comfort zone. 12:17.530 --> 12:19.391 [SPEAKER_03]: So that is what you do have control over. 12:19.491 --> 12:23.333 [SPEAKER_03]: It's getting yourself into the places where it could happen when you least expect it. 12:23.433 --> 12:23.593 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 12:23.913 --> 12:50.060 [SPEAKER_03]: But again, I'm not saying like you should email a center be like okay, I'm going to like go to this grocery store because there's going to be a guy there the opposite you're doing it for yourself because you're the main fucking character you with once why you was going to say grocery store switch it up like how often are you really stepping outside of your comfort zone right comfort is complacency like how can we get out of the rhythm of life right and that's do something else yeah and that's not just for single people that's just in general right like we can just be stuck in the same loop and like that's so boring. 12:51.275 --> 13:00.097 [SPEAKER_02]: What do you have like, do you have any good clapbacks for the friends or the family that are always telling you those like, either your date and in the wrong city? 13:00.137 --> 13:05.837 [SPEAKER_02]: Like if you would just move, I think you would find better people somewhere else or like just it happens when you least expect it. 13:05.858 --> 13:10.658 [SPEAKER_02]: Like all of the things that keep us in the mindset of like, you're right, dating life does suck. 13:10.718 --> 13:11.779 [SPEAKER_02]: The apps do suck. 13:11.819 --> 13:14.519 [SPEAKER_02]: Like, you know, and it just it pisses you off. 13:14.619 --> 13:16.319 [SPEAKER_02]: So much that you're like, yeah, you're right. 13:16.359 --> 13:17.019 [SPEAKER_02]: That is my life. 13:17.059 --> 13:19.840 [SPEAKER_02]: Like what do we start contributing to that conversation? 13:20.560 --> 13:21.280 [SPEAKER_02]: to help ourselves. 13:21.300 --> 13:24.001 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, I think you have to completely remove it from your vocabular. 13:24.021 --> 13:26.102 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but you can not like think about it. 13:26.122 --> 13:37.247 [SPEAKER_03]: It's like you actually have a magic wand and you, when you say, let's say it's like you're writing or like you with your voice, like you sing, dating sucks, suddenly some men sit into your reality. 13:37.267 --> 13:40.688 [SPEAKER_03]: Like that's how I, that is how precious I am with how I speak about things. 13:41.989 --> 13:43.730 [SPEAKER_03]: It's like, and also think about this way. 13:44.010 --> 13:46.991 [SPEAKER_03]: If you're best friend came to the room and it was like, I'm never gonna be my person. 13:47.051 --> 13:48.291 [SPEAKER_03]: What is the first thing you're gonna say? 13:48.612 --> 13:49.392 [SPEAKER_02]: You're so wrong. 13:50.543 --> 13:52.186 [SPEAKER_02]: So then, why can't you do it yourself? 13:53.810 --> 13:55.213 [SPEAKER_02]: Because it feels like I'm so quick to do it. 13:55.233 --> 14:00.964 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it feels like I'm beating life to the punch, like the punchline of my joke, of like me being the joke, you know? 14:02.026 --> 14:05.189 [SPEAKER_03]: because it's easier to be like, yeah, like I all knew I was going to be single. 14:05.229 --> 14:06.049 [SPEAKER_03]: No, wrong. 14:06.350 --> 14:07.791 [SPEAKER_03]: Stop saying that you were just deciding that. 14:08.431 --> 14:11.053 [SPEAKER_03]: Like you actually don't have control over many things when it comes to you. 14:11.073 --> 14:11.394 [SPEAKER_03]: You don't. 14:11.934 --> 14:13.455 [SPEAKER_03]: You can't like conjure up the guy. 14:13.956 --> 14:16.158 [SPEAKER_03]: But everything is mentality. 14:16.398 --> 14:17.779 [SPEAKER_03]: Everything is how you speak about it. 14:17.819 --> 14:22.003 [SPEAKER_03]: And I really, really be careful because I think the words really do dictate the experience. 14:22.843 --> 14:29.750 [SPEAKER_03]: So and it's the best for an example is amazing because any best for an amount and she came into this room and I play that or so single They're like I'm not bringing me out of person. 14:29.850 --> 14:32.512 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like you're out of your mind of course you are, right? 14:32.932 --> 14:35.034 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's like we have to be able to say that to ourselves. 14:35.855 --> 14:41.700 [SPEAKER_03]: I think what it comes to the this city thing I just don't believe it because it's like there was a chant time when we didn't have the internet We didn't have dating apps. 14:41.720 --> 14:43.342 [SPEAKER_03]: We didn't have so much connectivity 14:44.023 --> 14:46.884 [SPEAKER_03]: and people still got married and dated and et cetera. 14:46.904 --> 14:49.725 [SPEAKER_03]: So I just don't believe that, again, it's a mentality thing. 14:50.006 --> 14:52.727 [SPEAKER_03]: People actually have the audacity to say that New York City is a worst place for dating. 14:52.747 --> 14:54.908 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, how, there's so many people in the college. 14:54.928 --> 14:57.869 [SPEAKER_03]: I was interested if you're in bump, bump middle of nowhere, that that's difficult. 14:58.409 --> 14:59.830 [SPEAKER_03]: And yes, maybe you

consider a move. 15:00.050 --> 15:04.372 [SPEAKER_03]: But if you were in a major city, yeah, I'm so sorry, you're the problem. 15:06.285 --> 15:07.546 [SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes we need to hear that. 15:07.906 --> 15:09.146 [SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes we need to hear that. 15:09.406 --> 15:10.747 [SPEAKER_03]: Because you know why that's good? 15:10.807 --> 15:11.987 [SPEAKER_03]: Because then you can control it. 15:12.047 --> 15:12.288 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 15:12.428 --> 15:14.629 [SPEAKER_03]: If it was actually the same then I'd feel like you're fucked. 15:14.809 --> 15:16.970 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's great, it's you, it's your POV. 15:17.150 --> 15:18.710 [SPEAKER_03]: And you can change your POV, yeah. 15:19.271 --> 15:19.551 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes. 15:20.551 --> 15:22.212 [SPEAKER_01]: So how do you get OK weed? 15:22.492 --> 15:23.893 [SPEAKER_01]: Like how do you get OK? 15:24.013 --> 15:24.753 [SPEAKER_03]: Because you're not waiting. 15:24.873 --> 15:25.993 [SPEAKER_03]: No way, you're not waiting. 15:26.033 --> 15:26.514 [SPEAKER_03]: You're not waiting. 15:26.534 --> 15:28.975 [SPEAKER_03]: You're living that you're living your life. 15:30.155 --> 15:32.976 [SPEAKER_03]: If you think you're waiting, it's because you're doing things in a motion. 15:32.996 --> 15:36.157 [SPEAKER_03]: You're the same applies class, you're the same coffee shop, you're your board. 15:36.877 --> 15:38.317 [SPEAKER_03]: So what can you do to onboard yourself? 15:38.517 --> 15:41.198 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, in the last time you took a class. 15:41.378 --> 15:45.299 [SPEAKER_03]: In the last time you added an ad, or tried to decwasine that you never tried before. 15:45.339 --> 15:46.519 [SPEAKER_03]: In the last time you went to a neighborhood. 15:46.619 --> 15:47.399 [SPEAKER_03]: I've lived in your neighborhood. 15:47.419 --> 15:48.480 [SPEAKER_03]: There's neighbors I haven't been to. 15:48.560 --> 15:48.860 [SPEAKER_03]: Why? 15:49.420 --> 15:52.621 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, like, make that a challenge for yourself. 15:52.921 --> 15:54.521 [SPEAKER_03]: It's nothing to do with meeting someone. 15:54.641 --> 15:57.862 [SPEAKER_03]: But I think that when we feel like we're waiting, it's because we're not busy enough. 15:59.381 --> 16:02.203 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 16:02.443 --> 16:06.565 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's a huge, that's a difference in a schedule. 16:07.226 --> 16:09.227 [SPEAKER_03]: Um, also a little bit of awesome, just going to see this. 16:10.298 --> 16:11.459 [SPEAKER_03]: And when you're single, those are those things. 16:11.479 --> 16:14.241 [SPEAKER_03]: And if you wanted a boyfriend tomorrow, we all know you could go on. 16:14.301 --> 16:15.322 [SPEAKER_03]: But you don't want a boyfriend. 16:15.342 --> 16:16.222 [SPEAKER_03]: You want your person. 16:16.362 --> 16:18.924 [SPEAKER_03]: You want the person you don't want to settle for, right? 16:18.984 --> 16:20.545 [SPEAKER_03]: You want that person. 16:21.126 --> 16:23.727 [SPEAKER_03]: So what is this fake timeline that we're coming up with? 16:24.068 --> 16:27.470 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, there's a waiting because it's gonna happen when it's meant to. 16:27.490 --> 16:28.611 [SPEAKER_03]: And I always said that to myself. 16:28.651 --> 16:31.993 [SPEAKER_03]: I said like, if you weren't ready, you wouldn't have the opportunity. 16:32.053 --> 16:36.817 [SPEAKER_03]: And I really felt like I met my boyfriend when I was finally ready to be in a relationship. 16:37.017 --> 16:38.338 [SPEAKER_03]: But before I thought I was ready, 16:38.983 --> 16:41.745 [SPEAKER_03]: but I wasn't because there was so much inner work that I had to do. 16:42.485 --> 16:47.389 [SPEAKER_03]: So maybe that's something that's like, okay, you're not right, you're still single because there's trips that you still have to go on. 16:47.409 --> 16:48.990 [SPEAKER_03]: There's friendships that you still have to meet. 16:49.050 --> 16:50.991 [SPEAKER_03]: Like there's a career you still have to build. 16:51.071 --> 17:01.058 [SPEAKER_03]: Not to say that those things can happen when you're in a relationship, but I do think that being single is such a temporary, amazing time to just be completely enamored and be with yourself. 17:01.239 --> 17:04.081 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that we see this as like a thing that we need to cross off and get to. 17:04.121 --> 17:06.903 [SPEAKER_03]: So we get to the good part, but that is the good part. 17:07.683 --> 17:26.913 [SPEAKER_03]: being single fuck and also let's say you like meet that you're being single fucks chopper one and let's say you do me your person I hope they are going to be a relationship for the rest of your life so oh my god did you really tell me for those like ten year plus years that you were single like you were just like oh speed it up like no that's such a special time like I look back on my 20s I was single for all my 20s basically. 17:27.592 --> 17:32.796 [SPEAKER_03]: I fucked everyone, I did everything, I did it for the plight, did every drug look, I did it all. 17:32.836 --> 17:35.258 [SPEAKER_03]: So I look back and I'm like, I live my 20s to the fullest. 17:35.278 --> 17:35.378 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 17:35.398 --> 17:37.620 [SPEAKER_03]: There's no ruts. 17:37.660 --> 17:37.881 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 17:38.261 --> 17:38.941 [SPEAKER_02]: No, I love that. 17:39.542 --> 17:45.547 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember actually, I think it was before you and your boyfriend officially started dating, but that clip of you guys came out. 17:46.287 --> 17:50.030 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, and you said, I'm not, I don't want a boyfriend. 17:50.070 --> 17:51.692 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm looking like I'm waiting for my person. 17:52.232 --> 17:56.894 [SPEAKER_02]: And I remember I didn't really understand the difference of that at the time until probably this last year. 17:57.274 --> 18:03.437 [SPEAKER_02]: And it's been something that even before we knew we were going to like speak with you, it had been on a loop when I was like thinking about dating again.

18:03.477 --> 18:06.919 [SPEAKER_02]: It's like, oh, yeah, I'm not looking for like a boyfriend. 18:06.939 --> 18:08.099 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm looking for my person. 18:08.640 --> 18:19.925 [SPEAKER_02]: And so would you say that that like that calmness was your mindset when you sat down with Felix on that interview and then that ended up being something that blossomed into more. 18:21.468 --> 18:22.990 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, absolutely. 18:23.590 --> 18:35.342 [SPEAKER_03]: I also feel like, yeah, it's also like you, there's also something that works against us as women which is discursive mentality. 18:35.422 --> 18:38.145 [SPEAKER_03]: It's like really feeling like, I mean, the algorithm is crazy. 18:38.185 --> 18:40.106 [SPEAKER_03]: Like it's like, everyone's getting aged. 18:40.387 --> 18:42.589 [SPEAKER_03]: Like we have so much access to so much information. 18:42.629 --> 18:44.591 [SPEAKER_03]: So we, like everyone's getting aged, everyone's having kids. 18:44.671 --> 18:45.372 [SPEAKER_03]: Everyone's getting married. 18:46.748 --> 18:49.170 [SPEAKER_03]: And you're just, it's too much information. 18:49.250 --> 18:51.311 [SPEAKER_03]: So you constantly are feeling like you're not. 18:51.672 --> 18:52.792 [SPEAKER_03]: You need to speed it up. 18:52.832 --> 18:56.055 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm sharing women that women are sliding into my name as they're 23. 18:56.155 --> 18:57.455 [SPEAKER_03]: And they're like, I'm freaking out. 18:57.516 --> 18:59.057 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. 18:59.097 --> 19:00.858 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, no, like, no. 19:00.978 --> 19:02.239 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, that's not the time. 19:02.259 --> 19:03.820 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, when I was 23, I was just getting fun. 19:03.840 --> 19:04.620 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I wasn't. 19:04.660 --> 19:05.621 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I got any work. 19:07.282 --> 19:13.289 [SPEAKER_03]: So I think that something that we need to really recalibrate is like there is there are good men left out there. 19:13.449 --> 19:18.775 [SPEAKER_03]: You're gonna find your person, which I hope we'll take some of the pressure off because I think part of the reason 19:19.703 --> 19:47.799 [SPEAKER_03]: We like good into dates and then we're like, oh my god, like he didn't want to do it because like we feel like oh my god He opened the door for me or like he remembered that I was vegan so like therefore he must be the one instead of thinking that there's always going to be another guy There's always an other not always I never had an issue like there's always getting from the first day There's the second day to the third maybe that was hard for me or like beyond but there's always another first day There's so many people in this earth like so many gonna happen for you have to believe it's gonna happen 19:48.695 --> 19:51.258 [SPEAKER_01]: That's the exact mentality I want my daughter to have. 19:51.378 --> 19:52.098 [SPEAKER_01]: I have a toddler. 19:53.140 --> 19:56.903 [SPEAKER_01]: But when I think about what I want for her when she grows up, I don't want her to find her person at 20. 19:57.324 --> 19:58.044 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want that for her. 19:58.104 --> 20:01.928 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm glad I found mine, I guess, because it got me the life that I have now amazing. 20:02.649 --> 20:03.710 [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't want that for her. 20:03.870 --> 20:07.154 [SPEAKER_01]: When I look at Emma, I want my daughter to have a life like Emma's. 20:07.514 --> 20:09.776 [SPEAKER_01]: And so that's why Emma's her godmother. 20:11.698 --> 20:22.381 [SPEAKER_01]: Want her to look at her and be like, oh, I can live this really full life before I find a relationship, before I settle down, before I find my person, I get to discover who I am. 20:22.401 --> 20:24.261 [SPEAKER_01]: It's like, that sounds so much better. 20:24.481 --> 20:25.401 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, do that one. 20:25.561 --> 20:26.021 [SPEAKER_01]: Do that one. 20:26.081 --> 20:29.982 [SPEAKER_03]: But that being said, like, if you find your person at 20, that's great. 20:30.022 --> 20:31.563 [SPEAKER_03]: But you weren't having anxiety. 20:31.643 --> 20:34.703 [SPEAKER_03]: It's the anxiety about someone that I want to cut. 20:34.943 --> 20:38.664 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, if you find your person, I put any of your friends that also met in college and like, they're the cutest 20:41.805 --> 20:43.307 [SPEAKER_03]: I wouldn't say that they missed out on anything. 20:43.327 --> 20:44.328 [SPEAKER_03]: It's just a different experience. 20:44.648 --> 20:53.417 [SPEAKER_03]: But when I hear a 23-year-old actually terrified about an outcome, it's just not even be what you're thinking about. 20:53.437 --> 20:54.978 [SPEAKER_03]: You don't even know yourself yet. 20:55.038 --> 20:55.519 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not. 20:55.559 --> 20:56.399 [SPEAKER_03]: Don't even worry. 20:56.900 --> 20:57.821 [SPEAKER_03]: That's what scares me. 20:57.841 --> 21:01.765 [SPEAKER_03]: I think that is a very total result of social media. 21:02.005 --> 21:04.888 [SPEAKER_03]: But that's something that I just didn't exist for me when I was younger. 21:05.677 --> 21:09.421 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, they're going on the bachelor and then they're like, yeah, I can't believe I've not found my person yet. 21:09.461 --> 21:10.543 [SPEAKER_01]: I've been waiting so long. 21:10.803 --> 21:12.445 [SPEAKER_01]: You are 21 years old. 21:12.745 --> 21:13.766 [SPEAKER_01]: How long have you been waiting? 21:13.786 --> 21:16.049 [SPEAKER_01]: You've been you barely legal baby. 21:16.509 --> 21:17.610 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what are you doing? 21:18.111 --> 21:19.853 [SPEAKER_02]: That would have been me though at 21. 21:20.013 --> 21:21.675 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I've been waiting my whole life for this. 21:23.697 --> 21:24.058 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm ready. 21:24.785 --> 21:26.747 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember watching, it was like definitely ready. 21:26.767 --> 21:31.050 [SPEAKER_02]: It was like twin sisters that were on and they were like 22 and I'm like, that

should be me. 21:31.830 --> 21:32.711 [SPEAKER_02]: I should be right there. 21:33.572 --> 21:34.192 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm ready too. 21:36.234 --> 21:40.077 [SPEAKER_02]: No, I think what helps with the anxiety in your book you talk about a roster. 21:40.137 --> 21:46.381 [SPEAKER_02]: So can you tell us a little bit more about the importance of that and kind of how you would suggest structuring a roster? 21:47.822 --> 21:52.526 [SPEAKER_03]: People get really like up and arms about this theory, but I don't think it's that crazy. 21:52.586 --> 21:53.587 [SPEAKER_03]: I think dating is 21:54.475 --> 21:59.336 [SPEAKER_03]: There's this person, people get upset that I say that you should be getting multiple people at once. 21:59.476 --> 22:02.857 [SPEAKER_03]: I think that they think that, like, I'd say you should be in a relationship with multiple. 22:02.877 --> 22:03.217 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know. 22:03.237 --> 22:03.777 [SPEAKER_03]: That's all I'm saying. 22:03.797 --> 22:05.678 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm saying dating is getting to know people, right? 22:06.058 --> 22:11.439 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think what happens is if you are just dating one person, you are putting, it's something you're putting all your eggs in a basket that doesn't even bother me. 22:11.459 --> 22:15.380 [SPEAKER_03]: It's more just like, it's very difficult to just sort, do you actually like them? 22:15.800 --> 22:17.241 [SPEAKER_03]: Do you actually like your connection? 22:18.081 --> 22:19.742 [SPEAKER_03]: or is it because there's only person in front of you? 22:20.102 --> 22:23.704 [SPEAKER_03]: So you're like, in a famine, you're just like, you're trying to feast this one person. 22:24.004 --> 22:28.146 [SPEAKER_03]: Versus if you have multiple options, then you're able to compare and you're trust. 22:28.286 --> 22:30.967 [SPEAKER_03]: You're like, wait, like, when we make out, it's actually disgusting. 22:31.287 --> 22:33.689 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, or like, wait, like, he held the door open for me. 22:33.889 --> 22:39.531 [SPEAKER_03]: For the bill, he was so sweet, he asked me about my grandma, like, it's really good to be dating with old people at once. 22:39.731 --> 22:40.712 [SPEAKER_03]: Also, I felt like, 22:41.610 --> 22:52.899 [SPEAKER_03]: When I'm on my boyfriend and I started to feel like sort of feelings for him, I remember like I just I went on a date with someone else and it was to remember that I also have options and there's always another guy. 22:52.939 --> 22:56.322 [SPEAKER_03]: If it doesn't work out with him, it's going to have you're going to have someone else. 22:56.442 --> 22:58.164 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that that's a good place for you to be in. 22:58.584 --> 23:03.767 [SPEAKER_03]: because when you're operating from that standpoint of no scarcity of mentality, that's what the roster does. 23:03.927 --> 23:06.709 [SPEAKER_03]: It makes you realize that there isn't a scarcity of mentality because you have options. 23:07.029 --> 23:12.292 [SPEAKER_03]: And when you operate from that place, you aren't a pick-me, you aren't like, oh my god, I'll just tell you, I like beer, even though I hate it. 23:12.352 --> 23:16.795 [SPEAKER_03]: No, you're completely yourself because it doesn't work for this guy. 23:16.915 --> 23:17.616 [SPEAKER_03]: I got two more. 23:18.436 --> 23:19.157 [SPEAKER_03]: I got one more. 23:19.777 --> 23:20.918 [SPEAKER_03]: That's why I say that. 23:22.097 --> 23:23.558 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I like that. 23:23.978 --> 23:27.320 [SPEAKER_01]: The term roster is a strong word for what I had when I met my husband. 23:27.420 --> 23:31.442 [SPEAKER_01]: The other two guys on it, one was a weirdo from high school that I ran into in college. 23:31.462 --> 23:35.784 [SPEAKER_01]: The other guy ate raw cans of tuna in the hallway, so like, disgusting. 23:36.065 --> 23:38.486 [SPEAKER_01]: So my husband was an obvious guess. 23:38.526 --> 23:39.086 [SPEAKER_01]: That's fine. 23:39.106 --> 23:40.247 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that's the truth too. 23:41.007 --> 23:43.589 [SPEAKER_03]: I think that the mistake is like, oh, well, how am I going to find three? 23:43.630 --> 23:54.379 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, you guys, they don't even have to be like eligible picks, but it's just just the flow the energy of feeling like you have three guys that are obsessed with you or like, and you want to talk to is enough. 23:55.391 --> 23:56.231 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it is. 23:56.291 --> 23:58.272 [SPEAKER_02]: I remember, so I kind of go through phases. 23:58.352 --> 24:04.713 [SPEAKER_02]: When I start dating, I have no dates whatsoever, and then all of a sudden, I'm dating like three to four guys. 24:04.873 --> 24:07.354 [SPEAKER_02]: It's been a while since I've started that. 24:07.654 --> 24:19.537 [SPEAKER_02]: But they all end up being so different from one another, and it's kind of interesting to see like what parts of their life I actually find attractive that I wouldn't have usually written it down on paper. 24:19.557 --> 24:20.937 [SPEAKER_02]: And then like, yeah, I'm interested in that. 24:21.217 --> 24:23.118 [SPEAKER_02]: So I feel like that's another thing that a roster helps with, 24:25.215 --> 24:26.676 [SPEAKER_02]: so many different types of people. 24:27.076 --> 24:29.136 [SPEAKER_02]: And then figure out what you should be doing. 24:29.396 --> 24:29.636 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 24:30.097 --> 24:31.857 [SPEAKER_02]: And no, and it makes sense when you say it out loud. 24:32.878 --> 24:38.839 [SPEAKER_03]: Like it makes sense out loud. 24:40.020 --> 24:44.461 [SPEAKER_01]: So should we be avoiding the idea of like, oh, I should be going for my type or he's my type. 24:44.501 --> 24:46.322 [SPEAKER_01]: He's not my type, so I'm not going to go for him. 24:46.640 --> 24:47.920 [SPEAKER_03]: I think you should be super open minded. 24:48.120 --> 24:54.082 [SPEAKER_03]: During the pandemic, I had this live dating show called Let's Fucking Day and I dated 15 and on Instagram live and I had a producer vet

them. 24:54.102 --> 24:55.662 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I would be on Instagram in my living room. 24:55.682 --> 24:57.022 [SPEAKER_03]: They'd be in their exos locked down. 24:57.522 --> 25:01.543 [SPEAKER_03]: And the one rule I had was like, I never want to know a single thing about the guy before I go on a date. 25:01.643 --> 25:02.704 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not his name, nothing. 25:03.124 --> 25:08.265 [SPEAKER_03]: So go on Instagram live, go live and then my producer would text me their username and be like, let Aaron 365 in. 25:09.925 --> 25:15.531 [SPEAKER_03]: And this was such a great exercise for me because I had no preconceived notions of who they were. 25:15.731 --> 25:20.536 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that the problem with dating now I'm like you have too much information and so you're making judgment calls about someone. 25:20.856 --> 25:21.978 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I feel like 25:23.239 --> 25:26.501 [SPEAKER_03]: People are like, well, how could I have a roster I can't even find three guys to like. 25:26.621 --> 25:28.201 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm like, but how could you like them? 25:28.321 --> 25:30.663 [SPEAKER_03]: That's what dating is to see if you like them. 25:30.683 --> 25:31.003 [SPEAKER_01]: Hmm. 25:31.863 --> 25:34.724 [SPEAKER_03]: There's this perception that you have to like them and then go on a date with them. 25:34.905 --> 25:35.325 [SPEAKER_03]: Wrong. 25:35.405 --> 25:36.945 [SPEAKER_03]: That's what the date is for. 25:36.966 --> 25:37.986 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 25:38.066 --> 25:43.969 [SPEAKER_03]: So when you're looking for a roster, it's really just like, how can you go on a date with someone that you can completely not your type? 25:44.529 --> 25:47.470 [SPEAKER_03]: And then I heard someone say, well then you're using them, how do you know? 25:47.791 --> 25:48.731 [SPEAKER_03]: You could be surprised. 25:48.771 --> 25:49.972 [SPEAKER_03]: It could be the love of your life. 25:50.752 --> 25:56.618 [SPEAKER_03]: There's too much pre-deciding, and I think that that works against, and I feel like for me, I did that. 25:56.798 --> 26:04.125 [SPEAKER_03]: I was even though I did the dating show, and I did so many of my nights with every cast of character you could ever fucking think of, like I literally was going down against the gay man. 26:04.910 --> 26:06.471 [SPEAKER_03]: whether they knew that or not, I don't know. 26:06.491 --> 26:07.311 [SPEAKER_03]: But that was what I was going to do. 26:07.331 --> 26:10.573 [SPEAKER_03]: That was what we were going to do, right? 26:10.853 --> 26:18.577 [SPEAKER_03]: The one role that I always had, not on the dating show, I didn't really, but after the real life, was I refused to date on your guy. 26:18.597 --> 26:22.379 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, in no world, is that ever going to work out what a waste of my time. 26:22.399 --> 26:23.679 [SPEAKER_03]: They're never going to be able to handle me. 26:24.380 --> 26:28.722 [SPEAKER_03]: Which I think was passed down to me through other women, like people being like, you must have no other man. 26:28.742 --> 26:30.142 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, a guy isn't going to be able to handle you. 26:30.162 --> 26:30.763 [SPEAKER_03]: Which I think is like, 26:31.443 --> 26:57.119 [SPEAKER_03]: kind of misogynistic like I just think it's like why can't a man handle me because I'm too successful why would that upset a man right so I had that mentality and on the dating I've say made a big fat mistake which was I set my age parameters to only above a year above me think about how many man I blocked it out because if that's stupid judgment call right and then the irony was that my boyfriend is six years younger than me 26:58.099 --> 27:08.185 [SPEAKER_02]: Crazy, when you said 2000 in the book, his birth year, no nines, no ones, that's both here. 27:08.205 --> 27:10.186 [SPEAKER_02]: That's wild, but it's incredible. 27:11.026 --> 27:14.968 [SPEAKER_03]: And like, yeah, I just, he was 23 and I was 29 when we met. 27:15.028 --> 27:16.289 [SPEAKER_03]: And how long ago was looking at him? 27:16.309 --> 27:16.609 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 27:16.869 --> 27:17.329 [SPEAKER_02]: Wow. 27:17.910 --> 27:18.430 [SPEAKER_03]: Here's a go. 27:18.690 --> 27:20.011 [SPEAKER_03]: So he's 26 and 32. 27:20.111 --> 27:27.655 [SPEAKER_03]: He feels a little better, but 23, I was like, racing college grad with the f-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- 27:28.472 --> 27:33.274 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, when you're still planning maybe their graduation party, it's like wild. 27:34.374 --> 27:50.580 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's like listen, it's like why, like he's, like legit gets 40, like everyone's like, he's the most mature person ever and it's like the fact that I could have lost out on that because of this like silly rule and it's like I would just, you know, empower to ask you your audience, like all of their things that you 27:51.756 --> 27:54.578 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, say, I could never do that person that are kind of holding you back. 27:54.798 --> 27:56.258 [SPEAKER_03]: And so that's what it comes to this type. 27:56.278 --> 27:58.660 [SPEAKER_03]: I would be like, remove the type, let yourself be surprised. 27:58.680 --> 28:05.584 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I, when I say, like, I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I like, like, the age is so irrelevant to my relationship. 28:05.804 --> 28:09.666 [SPEAKER_03]: The same way a height could be, the same way like his job could be. 28:10.086 --> 28:13.888 [SPEAKER_03]: So it's like, how are you really limiting yourself and keep yourself single to some degree? 28:13.928 --> 28:17.810 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, a lot of the women in my life who have been single. 28:17.890 --> 28:18.731 [SPEAKER_02]: And like there's such a, 28:20.022 --> 28:49.008 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like the manifestation rhetoric sometimes online is like you have to be so specific with what you're looking for and you really have to like flush out this whole

list of your dream person and not accept less than that or different from that and then there's the point in which you get way too niche way too narrow way too specific that like you're saying you miss out on someone that has an age difference that you weren't expecting and so sometimes I feel like it's hard for me to bridge the gap between those two of like how do you have 28:49.548 --> 28:55.234 [SPEAKER_02]: a standard and you have what you envision for yourself and still stay open at the same time. 28:55.254 --> 28:57.216 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 28:57.757 --> 28:58.518 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, Serena. 28:58.778 --> 28:58.978 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 28:59.258 --> 29:02.262 [SPEAKER_03]: So in my book, we talked about the list, which I think all women should write a list. 29:03.590 --> 29:16.763 [SPEAKER_03]: like a flex list, like the thing is like he's like he's six, five, blue eyes, like works in finance, and the foundation list, which is like, you want a man who you're sexually attracted to, you want a man who has a job, and who is maybe passionate about what he does for a living. 29:17.063 --> 29:18.244 [SPEAKER_03]: Those are values. 29:18.704 --> 29:20.947 [SPEAKER_03]: That's where I think it's okay to be really specific. 29:21.547 --> 29:28.550 [SPEAKER_03]: But not six, it's not that you need them to be a certain height, is that you want to fuck him, and you want to feel protected. 29:29.231 --> 29:30.791 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not that you need it to be in bias. 29:30.811 --> 29:32.192 [SPEAKER_03]: You want them to be able to provide. 29:32.612 --> 29:37.174 [SPEAKER_03]: Those are very different, like, you can do that if you're at Harvard, you can do that if he's an entrepreneur, like he doesn't have to have. 29:37.454 --> 29:38.695 [SPEAKER_03]: So you think that's what it is. 29:38.795 --> 29:40.796 [SPEAKER_03]: It's what are your actual values that you're looking at? 29:40.936 --> 29:43.878 [SPEAKER_03]: or underneath these superficial cultures. 29:44.038 --> 30:03.452 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I feel like it can like we attribute like being shorter with not being as like wealthy or something like whatever we just like do crazy like random arbitrary definitions and I know so many women who like have such a narrow list now and they're like yeah and I just can't date and like no one's out there for me and it's just like 30:04.447 --> 30:05.808 [SPEAKER_03]: whoa, then that's your choice. 30:05.828 --> 30:06.749 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's your choice. 30:07.410 --> 30:17.119 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, but if you're good with your roster and you're doing like what you're saying, I feel like it can get a little bit overwhelming when you're trying to categorize all these people that you're meeting. 30:17.140 --> 30:19.782 [SPEAKER_02]: So you go over the three peas in your book. 30:19.882 --> 30:21.444 [SPEAKER_02]: Can you kind of list that out for us? 30:22.483 --> 30:22.983 [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, of course. 30:23.284 --> 30:30.310 [SPEAKER_03]: So I have a 3P theory,

which is basically every date is either potential for another day, practice, or plot. 30:30.630 --> 30:35.554 [SPEAKER_03]: So you're going to guess that date and very quickly you're going to realize, I would assume, you're like, I'm vibing. 30:35.614 --> 30:37.756 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I would love to see this guy again. 30:37.836 --> 30:38.497 [SPEAKER_03]: That is potential. 30:38.537 --> 30:39.898 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not potential for husband. 30:39.938 --> 30:41.900 [SPEAKER_03]: You're watching, you're lasting, yeah. 30:41.960 --> 30:44.983 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, it's just, should I, what I like to go on a second day? 30:46.291 --> 30:50.472 [SPEAKER_03]: There's going to be plenty of dates where I wouldn't really want to go on a second date, but it's great for practice. 30:50.632 --> 30:54.873 [SPEAKER_03]: I think there's this idea of the word, it's like, if you go on a date and he's not the other life, then it was a waste of time. 30:55.033 --> 30:55.633 [SPEAKER_03]: I disagree. 30:55.813 --> 31:04.414 [SPEAKER_03]: I think that I dated a lot and it made me way more comfortable with dating and it means that our maybe spot red flag squicker and maybe realize what my non-negotiables are. 31:04.894 --> 31:07.335 [SPEAKER_03]: I think it's just, it's part for the course, like it's part of your journey. 31:07.795 --> 31:11.795 [SPEAKER_03]: And then of course, there's a date that's absolutely delightful and so on because you're never going to see them again. 31:11.815 --> 31:12.516 [SPEAKER_03]: It's for the blood. 31:12.536 --> 31:13.216 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a great story. 31:13.656 --> 31:14.516 [SPEAKER_03]: For your memoir. 31:14.996 --> 31:18.337 [SPEAKER_03]: So, I believe that every date is a win-win-win. 31:18.357 --> 31:19.937 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you really can't go wrong. 31:19.977 --> 31:29.260 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I love that shift in mentality, because I don't want us to think of wasting our time, especially if we're trying not to be waiting and just like, for this person to come find us. 31:30.640 --> 31:33.321 [SPEAKER_01]: Do you have a fun plot story that you could tell us? 31:34.841 --> 31:42.143 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, so many, like, I think I flew to Miami for a first date, and that was crazy. 31:42.555 --> 31:43.475 [SPEAKER_02]: That's really far. 31:43.495 --> 31:45.236 [SPEAKER_03]: So far. 31:45.937 --> 31:47.917 [SPEAKER_03]: And I stayed with him the whole weekend. 31:48.398 --> 31:51.699 [SPEAKER_03]: And of course, right when I got there, I'm like, this is absolutely for the plot. 31:51.759 --> 31:53.800 [SPEAKER_03]: There's no way, there's any potential here. 31:54.761 --> 31:57.722 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, what's the promise of like, come to Miami, too? 31:57.742 --> 32:02.544 [SPEAKER_03]: Fuck, honestly, I'm about to say it. 32:02.564 --> 32:04.585 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, which is again, right now I'd take that. 32:04.625 --> 32:06.606 [SPEAKER_03]: This is why we do drinks for a first date. 32:06.726 --> 32:08.527 [SPEAKER_03]:

Yeah, don't do lying to a different. 32:09.312 --> 32:11.413 [SPEAKER_01]: say, oh my gosh, that's so funny. 32:11.833 --> 32:15.835 [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, how did you know that it was like for the plot when you got there? 32:15.855 --> 32:18.176 [SPEAKER_03]: Because you know, because boom, and we have intuition. 32:18.256 --> 32:20.377 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, immediately, immediately within a day, you know. 32:20.817 --> 32:21.117 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 32:21.737 --> 32:21.957 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 32:21.977 --> 32:22.158 [SPEAKER_03]: Just so. 32:22.178 --> 32:25.799 [SPEAKER_03]: Every time you're interested, your intuition, you're got, I do think it's okay. 32:25.819 --> 32:30.721 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you know, you might like, women ask me, they're like, I don't know, like, I can't decide. 32:30.741 --> 32:31.562 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, go on another day. 32:31.582 --> 32:32.682 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, there's no harm in that. 32:32.702 --> 32:34.803 [SPEAKER_03]: But I think by three, date three, if you 32:35.478 --> 32:37.319 [SPEAKER_03]: You'll know if there's actual potential there. 32:37.659 --> 32:37.979 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 32:39.080 --> 32:41.681 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like I'm someone that can know the second I see someone. 32:42.282 --> 32:43.202 [SPEAKER_02]: Should I trust that? 32:44.303 --> 32:45.644 [SPEAKER_03]: I think you should face time. 32:46.004 --> 32:49.085 [SPEAKER_03]: What does seeing them mean seeing them on a photo or an app or what? 32:49.326 --> 32:53.408 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, yes, but I'm trying to get over that because I don't need to mean not data. 32:53.968 --> 32:57.230 [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm so sorry between us, even though this is on podcast. 32:57.908 --> 33:06.432 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, I wouldn't even have the chance to swipe left on my boyfriend because I wouldn't even have gotten served him on a dating app because he was younger than me, but I don't know if I would have swipe right on my boyfriend. 33:06.452 --> 33:08.353 [SPEAKER_03]: Like I don't know what phone was he probably, they probably suck. 33:08.373 --> 33:12.595 [SPEAKER_03]: Men take terrible pictures, first of all, like, they do, they do. 33:12.715 --> 33:17.637 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, I think judging someone based off of their photo is like, you're, yeah. 33:18.293 --> 33:20.713 [SPEAKER_03]: No, something like it's all energy and you know it. 33:21.014 --> 33:30.055 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but even when I get in front of them, like let's say they do something that I just like clock, I'm just like, like the way that they hold their drink. 33:30.375 --> 33:33.156 [SPEAKER_02]: Or the way that they like their socks don't match or something. 33:33.176 --> 33:34.776 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm just like, oh, I know that this isn't it. 33:34.936 --> 33:38.517 [SPEAKER_03]: Well, what I would say is like, how much, how about they do you really want to be in a relationship? 33:38.537 --> 33:40.697 [SPEAKER_03]: Because I feel like something maybe you're just self-sauce-autogging. 33:41.017 --> 33:42.437 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, not that's a good point. 33:42.577 --> 33:43.317 [SPEAKER_02]: That's super fair. 33:43.578 --> 33:45.398 [SPEAKER_03]: Are you really looking for things like that? 33:46.538 --> 34:03.322 [SPEAKER_02]: No, I just feel like I'm so nervous about wasting my time and I'm someone who used to get attached very, very quickly and then it would suck really, really hard when I was attaching myself to men who I ignored the fact that they were not interested. 34:03.902 --> 34:12.784 [SPEAKER_02]: And so I think as I got older, my way to protect myself was to like really start nitpicking and then really start being like, I'm not even attracted to you. 34:12.924 --> 34:16.045 [SPEAKER_02]: Why would I still be here as my way to defend myself? 34:16.805 --> 34:27.034 [SPEAKER_02]: But that has led to me being super judgmental, and I don't really go and yeah I think you need to let go. 34:27.074 --> 34:39.245 [SPEAKER_03]: I think the way that you can the attachment thing which I dealt with so much is They're roster like having multiple But being really open minded like I really it's going to help so much like with feelings I just like I feel like 34:41.386 --> 34:43.328 [SPEAKER_03]: I could have been so, okay, this is great. 34:43.448 --> 34:46.170 [SPEAKER_03]: So my boyfriend will be like, going three dates, that's when I realized his age. 34:46.591 --> 35:05.708 [SPEAKER_03]: I totally had a wall up, but then when I confronted him about it, he was just like, yeah, all my girlfriends have been older, like, you know, so whatever, he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, but I remember he wore this fucking turtleneck, and it just like, it was just giving guy, like, I don't know how to say it, and it was just giving like he was almost actual, and I did not like it one bit. 35:05.768 --> 35:07.750 [SPEAKER_03]: And he's French, but so I was like, oh, okay. 35:08.250 --> 35:18.276 [SPEAKER_03]: And I remember always, and I was like, it gave me like a little ache but then I was like, is it giving me an ache because like, I'm scared because I am starting to feel feeling as an immune vulnerable. 35:18.336 --> 35:19.097 [SPEAKER_03]: And so I'm like, go. 35:19.197 --> 35:23.679 [SPEAKER_03]: And then when we started dating for real, I was just like, hey, like, I would prefer if you never were to omega again. 35:23.759 --> 35:24.720 [SPEAKER_03]: It's like no problem. 35:25.120 --> 35:27.321 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, that's intense. 35:27.341 --> 35:28.122 [SPEAKER_03]: Totally nice. 35:28.402 --> 35:29.142 [SPEAKER_01]: He's really different. 35:29.162 --> 35:30.143 [SPEAKER_01]: Never fucking wear that again. 35:30.203 --> 35:30.904 [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much. 35:30.944 --> 35:32.905 [SPEAKER_03]: So my point of this is saying like, 35:33.605 --> 35:35.506 [SPEAKER_03]: you're fixating on something that can be changed. 35:35.727 --> 35:36.447 [SPEAKER_03]: Right, truly. 35:36.567 --> 35:37.808

[SPEAKER_03]: Like the socks thing change. 35:37.828 --> 35:42.472 [SPEAKER_03]: Like if you were a crox change, like those things are like thing, but it's like, let yourself enjoy it. 35:42.512 --> 35:43.493 [SPEAKER_03]: Let yourself have fun. 35:43.513 --> 35:47.956 [SPEAKER_03]: You don't want to like be so overprotective of yourself that you're not going to fall in love. 35:48.316 --> 35:50.018 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, no, that's super true. 35:50.533 --> 35:51.715 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, what's the worst thing that can happen? 35:51.755 --> 35:52.997 [SPEAKER_03]: You that near our broken baby? 35:53.017 --> 35:56.322 [SPEAKER_03]: You've got near our broken, you're here to love to tell the day out like you're fine. 35:56.542 --> 35:58.084 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, like it's some of you can survive. 35:58.445 --> 36:05.055 [SPEAKER_03]: But I also think that I'm excited for you to date now that you've read the book because I feel like you're going to go into it with the different mentality of like, 36:06.622 --> 36:09.404 [SPEAKER_03]: lack of scarcity, which means you can enjoy it more. 36:09.544 --> 36:11.725 [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like you're almost nitpicking and you're not enjoying it. 36:11.806 --> 36:14.567 [SPEAKER_03]: You're like looking for the wrong thing, which is like a negative feeling. 36:15.048 --> 36:17.169 [SPEAKER_02]: No, you're, she's actually already started. 36:17.349 --> 36:18.230 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm gonna tell your date story. 36:18.250 --> 36:23.974 [SPEAKER_02]: No, yes, so I went on a date to prepare for this because I wanted to have something to report back for you. 36:24.034 --> 36:27.956 [SPEAKER_02]: And I also wanted to put in some of your tips that I was reading about. 36:27.997 --> 36:29.678 [SPEAKER_02]: So I swiped. 36:30.018 --> 36:31.219 [SPEAKER_02]: I went on a date with a guy. 36:31.239 --> 36:31.299 [SPEAKER_02]: He, 36:33.852 --> 36:35.553 [SPEAKER_02]: displayed all the green flags first. 36:35.613 --> 36:38.575 [SPEAKER_02]: He had some good banter, but it was quick over-hinged. 36:38.615 --> 36:40.676 [SPEAKER_02]: And then he was like, this sounds great. 36:40.756 --> 36:43.458 [SPEAKER_02]: Let's meet Monday at seven and then pick to spot. 36:43.478 --> 36:45.219 [SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, okay, great. 36:45.259 --> 36:45.739 [SPEAKER_02]: Like a little round. 36:46.019 --> 36:49.802 [SPEAKER_02]: And then day of I was still waiting for him to confirm. 36:50.482 --> 36:52.684 [SPEAKER_02]: But we had just like talked the day before. 36:52.884 --> 36:53.944 [SPEAKER_02]: So I was like, whatever. 36:54.024 --> 36:59.728 [SPEAKER_02]: So I just shot him a text hoping that you wouldn't be mad at me somewhere in the ether that I shot a text to confirm. 37:00.436 --> 37:00.696 [SPEAKER_03]: of that. 37:01.077 --> 37:09.709 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I had sent a picture of my whole outfit to all of my girlfriends before I left to like help get like the boosted confidence and all that stuff. 37:10.010 --> 37:12.053 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh my god, I see so happy to hear someone. 37:12.073 --> 37:13.495 [SPEAKER_03]: This is the first time I've heard someone like, 37:13.983 --> 37:15.444 [SPEAKER_03]: date after reading. 37:15.524 --> 37:18.025 [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, no, it was so good. 37:18.045 --> 37:19.145 [SPEAKER_02]: It was like really fun. 37:19.185 --> 37:20.806 [SPEAKER_02]: I had a glass of wine and I was getting ready. 37:20.866 --> 37:22.046 [SPEAKER_02]: I was listening to great music. 37:22.106 --> 37:26.648 [SPEAKER_02]: I sent the picture to my friends, and I was like, he doesn't deserve this look, but you guys do. 37:26.708 --> 37:30.049 [SPEAKER_02]: I already felt like I was walking in like the prize and it felt really fun. 37:30.989 --> 37:38.812 [SPEAKER_02]: And so then I let the date be very casual, very cute, very like no pressure, but I knew it was practice. 37:39.413 --> 37:39.733 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 37:40.513 --> 37:45.297 [SPEAKER_02]: And so we get to the end of the day, he doesn't like walk me to my car, but he does pay. 37:45.817 --> 37:46.738 [SPEAKER_02]: So that's great. 37:47.319 --> 37:47.999 [SPEAKER_03]: He must. 37:48.139 --> 37:52.023 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I did, I did fumble a little bit for that. 37:52.103 --> 37:53.864 [SPEAKER_02]: No, I went for the reach though. 37:55.565 --> 38:01.330 [SPEAKER_02]: My head, I was reaching for chapstick, but to him, it definitely looked like a card reach. 38:02.271 --> 38:03.772 [SPEAKER_02]: But he laid down the card, which is great. 38:04.673 --> 38:06.614 [SPEAKER_02]: I didn't walk me to my car, so I clocked that. 38:07.571 --> 38:11.414 [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, I knew it was practice, I was like, and whatever, I'd go out again if he asked for practice. 38:11.755 --> 38:13.957 [SPEAKER_02]: But then that mother fuckered and text me. 38:14.637 --> 38:17.260 [SPEAKER_02]: And so now, I don't know. 38:17.360 --> 38:18.320 [SPEAKER_02]: Now I have a thing about it. 38:18.721 --> 38:19.321 [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, why? 38:19.341 --> 38:20.823 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know. 38:20.903 --> 38:23.025 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to be rejected when I was going to reject. 38:23.105 --> 38:26.608 [SPEAKER_03]: So, well, you were, you didn't, guys, this is the thing. 38:26.628 --> 38:28.529 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, but you did reject. 38:28.549 --> 38:31.712 [SPEAKER_03]: Because if you, you just, listen, it's great. 38:32.012 --> 38:33.073 [SPEAKER_03]: I go to felt the same way. 38:33.273 --> 38:33.534 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 38:34.480 --> 38:36.602 [SPEAKER_03]: And done, it's easier this way. 38:36.622 --> 38:38.903 [SPEAKER_03]: He didn't even waste your time with the text. 38:38.943 --> 38:40.564 [SPEAKER_03]: Like he didn't just move on, done. 38:40.724 --> 38:44.927 [SPEAKER_03]: Next, the more you start going on dates, the less this is gonna bother you. 38:45.107 --> 38:46.488 [SPEAKER_03]: It's no indicator of you. 38:46.508 --> 38:48.290 [SPEAKER_03]: He probably felt this exact same way

you did. 38:48.790 --> 38:49.771 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 38:49.811 --> 38:51.892 [SPEAKER_03]: It was nice and he paid and like moving on. 38:52.212 --> 38:52.472 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 38:53.153 --> 38:54.974 [SPEAKER_03]: You just say it's so much calmer than I do. 38:55.695 --> 39:02.339 [SPEAKER_03]: And I need to practice that because if I came to you with this situation, you would say the exact same thing to me. 39:04.248 --> 39:32.886 [SPEAKER_03]: mm-hmm so what I want you to do is later tonight when you if you're still feeling it's some type of way about it that's when you go to your mirror and you pretend like that girl in the mirror just said this to you and what do you say to her which is like it literally in five weeks or literally don't even you're walking around with this guy's name like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter who reject to do at the end of the day you both didn't like each other next it's easier this way yeah there's no conversation they're it's like done the worst thing actually would have been like if you kept trying to 39:34.562 --> 39:35.943 [SPEAKER_03]: Your time is valuable, so great. 39:36.043 --> 39:38.544 [SPEAKER_03]: Moving on next, yeah. 39:38.684 --> 39:39.545 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, it's another eye. 39:40.445 --> 39:41.126 [SPEAKER_01]: Always another eye. 39:41.146 --> 39:42.446 [SPEAKER_01]: We had a calculator watch. 39:42.466 --> 39:43.687 [SPEAKER_01]: Did have a calculator watch. 39:44.047 --> 39:44.307 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh. 39:45.188 --> 39:46.088 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh. 39:46.108 --> 39:46.488 [SPEAKER_03]: Wow. 39:47.629 --> 39:50.090 [SPEAKER_03]: But you have to get comfortable with the fact that you're going to get rejected. 39:50.251 --> 39:52.872 [SPEAKER_03]: And it's not a reflection of you not being amazing. 39:53.252 --> 39:55.213 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you obviously didn't buy very well. 39:55.233 --> 39:57.034 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you didn't, because you obviously didn't want to go to the A. 39:57.054 --> 40:00.316 [SPEAKER_03]: So, okay, that's not because there's anything wrong with you. 40:00.336 --> 40:01.757 [SPEAKER_03]: And there's not like, is there anything wrong with him? 40:01.937 --> 40:03.638 [SPEAKER_03]: Just because you was like, you're a long distance cousin. 40:04.590 --> 40:04.890 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 40:05.471 --> 40:05.791 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay. 40:06.351 --> 40:08.873 [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that just happened so much, like beyond beyond beyond me. 40:08.913 --> 40:11.715 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, it gets less upsetting when you do it more. 40:12.095 --> 40:12.376 [SPEAKER_02]: Right. 40:12.656 --> 40:21.842 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's my thing is that I hadn't, and I haven't dated a ton, so I need to keep going after it so that I have these experiences that all the time. 40:22.183 --> 40:22.483 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't. 40:22.823 --> 40:23.103 [UNKNOWN]: I know. 40:23.123 --> 40:25.245 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, try to go at like once a week, at least. 40:25.745 --> 40:27.526 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you got

this. 40:27.887 --> 40:28.187 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 40:28.227 --> 40:29.128 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a numbers game, baby. 40:29.408 --> 40:30.028 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a numbers game. 40:30.048 --> 40:31.629 [SPEAKER_03]: This is great practice for you. 40:31.730 --> 40:33.030 [SPEAKER_03]: And if there were exactly the same thing, 40:34.880 --> 40:38.482 [SPEAKER_03]: It's not just dating, like good vise, it's also life-in-face, like everyone gets rejected. 40:38.522 --> 40:39.562 [SPEAKER_03]: Rejection is part of life. 40:39.582 --> 40:42.523 [SPEAKER_03]: There's no one that can avoid rejections. 40:42.643 --> 40:47.265 [SPEAKER_03]: So the more you get rejected and realize it is nothing to do with you, it's like you don't like everyone, not everyone likes you. 40:47.405 --> 40:47.885 [SPEAKER_03]: All good. 40:47.905 --> 40:51.587 [SPEAKER_03]: Then it just starts, that's how you also build up your confidence. 40:51.907 --> 40:52.207 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 40:52.928 --> 40:53.768 [SPEAKER_02]: Now that's so true. 40:55.032 --> 40:55.853 [SPEAKER_02]: I'm very proud of you. 40:55.973 --> 40:56.653 [SPEAKER_02]: I love you. 40:56.733 --> 40:58.775 [SPEAKER_03]: And also seems like it was a great experience regardless. 40:58.855 --> 41:00.035 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was. 41:00.236 --> 41:06.420 [SPEAKER_02]: It was like our last, the last night of summer and it was a cute, I felt electricity, I wore my good dress. 41:06.580 --> 41:08.081 [SPEAKER_02]: It was, it was good and it was fine. 41:08.121 --> 41:08.761 [SPEAKER_03]: Good bye. 41:08.941 --> 41:09.922 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, let's go on another one. 41:10.262 --> 41:11.463 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're right. 41:11.943 --> 41:12.264 [SPEAKER_02]: You're right. 41:12.444 --> 41:12.724 [SPEAKER_02]: I will. 41:12.904 --> 41:15.446 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to join a fucking like run club or some shit. 41:15.666 --> 41:17.627 [SPEAKER_02]: Do activities and meet people that way. 41:17.747 --> 41:19.028 [SPEAKER_02]: Cause apps really are hard. 41:19.088 --> 41:21.410 [SPEAKER_02]: I like never remember to check them and all this other stuff. 41:21.430 --> 41:23.251 [SPEAKER_02]: So, first of all, okay. 41:24.277 --> 41:25.219 [SPEAKER_03]: Love, love is for you. 41:25.259 --> 41:27.782 [SPEAKER_03]: And by the way, we both know like you're going to find your person. 41:27.802 --> 41:31.188 [SPEAKER_03]: Now you've been a question show them it out with those eyes, honey. 41:31.208 --> 41:31.668 [SPEAKER_03]: You're good. 41:32.149 --> 41:32.730 [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you. 41:32.950 --> 41:33.731 [SPEAKER_03]: But I've brought it to you. 41:33.812 --> 41:35.775 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's all meant to it's all energy. 41:35.795 --> 41:39.180 [SPEAKER_03]: And I feel like when I heard from you that whole day, like it was just good energy. 41:39.400 --> 41:41.822 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it wasn't the one, it was good energy. 41:41.842 --> 41:43.924 [SPEAKER_03]: You felt good, which is the most important thing. 41:44.224 --> 41:45.385 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, okay, thank you. 41:45.425 --> 41:48.848 [SPEAKER_02]: Well, it was really fun to follow your rulebook too and do it from away. 41:48.888 --> 41:53.952 [SPEAKER_02]: I feel like we've read a ton of either like self-help books or kind of like trusting yourself books. 41:54.532 --> 41:58.716 [SPEAKER_02]: And there's a lot that we have learned that it's felt great and really like expansive. 41:58.856 --> 42:06.122 [SPEAKER_02]: And then there's like girl chat from someone that just gives it to you straight and I love that that's kind of what we were able to get from your book. 42:07.463 --> 42:11.865 [SPEAKER_02]: wipe the bitch face off, be happy, like go out and fucking do it. 42:11.925 --> 42:15.386 [SPEAKER_02]: And I really appreciate that approach, too, to this stuff. 42:15.446 --> 42:18.727 [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, I just felt like I wanted to give actionable advice. 42:18.967 --> 42:22.208 [SPEAKER_03]: That was tangible versus just being like, just put yourself out there. 42:22.248 --> 42:23.068 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, what does that mean? 42:23.088 --> 42:23.649 [SPEAKER_03]: What does that mean? 42:23.669 --> 42:24.449 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, how do you show up? 42:24.489 --> 42:25.769 [SPEAKER_03]: What is putting yourself out there? 42:25.809 --> 42:36.533 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, the belly button rule or like, going out with a million girls to the bar or like, just like things like that that actually, you can try, you know, nothing more annoying than hearing. 42:37.033 --> 42:38.534 [SPEAKER_03]: It happens when you leave it's expected. 42:38.654 --> 42:39.754 [SPEAKER_03]: That's so annoying. 42:40.294 --> 42:46.337 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's nice having rules when we've conditioned ourselves not to listen to our bodies, not to listen to our intuition. 42:46.537 --> 42:48.317 [SPEAKER_01]: We don't even listen to ourselves when we're hungry anymore. 42:48.617 --> 42:54.379 [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like of course we're not going to know how to just dive right in and trust our gut at all of that. 42:54.419 --> 43:01.082 [SPEAKER_01]: So having those rules as like bumpers as we are reloading our intuition, I think is the best thing. 43:02.103 --> 43:06.786 [SPEAKER_03]: But also it was so important to me and because obviously there's so many Davies books, the rules aren't about like getting him to like you. 43:06.826 --> 43:09.288 [SPEAKER_03]: You won't like you It's nothing to do with them. 43:09.308 --> 43:15.032 [SPEAKER_03]: It's literally about you like that that was so important I mean it's like all these rules are about yourself like I don't know I can't control a guy. 43:15.072 --> 43:17.834 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't care too Someone was like you should write a book for men. 43:17.894 --> 43:30.043 [SPEAKER_03]: I was like absolutely not I don't give a fuck like I don't care I or disrespectfully I don't care It's like all about yourself and how you can come back to you and feel good And I feel like that's what's like

43:30.723 --> 43:31.724 [SPEAKER_03]: was really important for me here. 43:31.784 --> 43:33.526 [SPEAKER_03]: Even like sleeping with someone the first day. 43:33.586 --> 43:34.587 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, I wouldn't do it. 43:34.607 --> 43:35.388 [SPEAKER_03]: Nothing to do with the guy. 43:35.408 --> 43:36.388 [SPEAKER_03]: Nothing to do with the guy. 43:36.429 --> 43:40.272 [SPEAKER_03]: Nothing to do with feels like you just because I would become psychotic once I saw the man. 43:40.713 --> 43:42.694 [SPEAKER_03]: I would think that I was like my whole world. 43:43.015 --> 43:48.600 [SPEAKER_03]: And so what would help me to feel better and to like just be calmer, feel more control was to just not sleep with them. 43:48.878 --> 43:57.460 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, all of your rules were definitely rooted in control and respect for yourself. 43:57.560 --> 44:00.121 [SPEAKER_02]: It had nothing to do with playing games with him. 44:00.561 --> 44:02.101 [SPEAKER_02]: And that's what I found was really fun. 44:02.121 --> 44:04.382 [SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't with hold and make him want you. 44:04.462 --> 44:07.762 [SPEAKER_02]: It was with hold so you have a fucking life outside of a man. 44:07.882 --> 44:12.624 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's the messaging that women have so often missed. 44:12.664 --> 44:15.124 [SPEAKER_02]: It's not become irresistible because you're hard to get. 44:15.204 --> 44:17.405 [SPEAKER_02]: It's become irresistible because you have a fucking life 44:19.405 --> 44:21.126 [SPEAKER_03]: Hello, it's that simple. 44:21.306 --> 44:25.308 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, Cass, we want to do some rapid fire red flag questions. 44:26.409 --> 44:27.449 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, does that work for you? 44:27.809 --> 44:28.330 [SPEAKER_01]: We'd love to. 44:28.610 --> 44:30.751 [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, amazing. 44:30.831 --> 44:34.533 [SPEAKER_02]: We just have a couple of things that I feel like come up, and we're like, is this a red flag or not? 44:34.753 --> 44:35.773 [SPEAKER_02]: And we want to know your hot take. 44:35.893 --> 44:38.254 [SPEAKER_02]: So I'll start, Cass. 44:38.294 --> 44:39.835 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he says his mom is his best friend. 44:41.236 --> 44:41.876 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a red flag. 44:43.557 --> 44:45.218 [SPEAKER_03]: You're by your parent, it's not your best friend. 44:45.238 --> 44:46.118 [SPEAKER_03]: Your parent is your parent. 44:46.238 --> 44:47.939 [SPEAKER_03]: And let's make that distinction very fucking clear. 44:48.670 --> 44:52.191 [SPEAKER_03]: My mom would never let me say I was a boss front and it was the best advice ever. 44:52.372 --> 44:54.592 [SPEAKER_03]: I know you're a new mom, so they're not your best friend. 44:54.612 --> 44:57.814 [SPEAKER_03]: So they're job is to raise you not to become you're not to be liked by you. 44:58.154 --> 44:58.374 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 44:59.594 --> 44:59.795 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 44:59.935 --> 45:00.675 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm your best friend. 45:00.875 --> 45:01.275 [SPEAKER_01]: I bitch.

45:01.495 --> 45:02.195 [SPEAKER_01]: Like exactly. 45:02.476 --> 45:04.316 [SPEAKER_01]: I am not like my daughter. 45:04.396 --> 45:05.437 [SPEAKER_01]: I am not like my daughter. 45:05.457 --> 45:05.997 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not like my daughter. 45:06.017 --> 45:06.717 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not like my daughter. 45:06.797 --> 45:07.358 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not like my daughter. 45:07.398 --> 45:07.978 [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not like my daughter. 45:07.998 --> 45:08.238 [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah. 45:08.258 --> 45:08.438 [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly. 45:08.458 --> 45:08.858 [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly. 45:09.298 --> 45:09.398 [SPEAKER_03]: Me. 45:09.438 --> 45:09.638 [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. 45:09.919 --> 45:10.199 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 45:10.979 --> 45:13.260 [SPEAKER_01]: She can't remember your coffee order by three months in. 45:14.215 --> 45:15.096 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's where I fly. 45:15.636 --> 45:16.717 [SPEAKER_03]: I actually want to. 45:16.737 --> 45:17.598 [SPEAKER_02]: She wants to. 45:17.938 --> 45:19.800 [SPEAKER_02]: I don't care about like, I have a shit memory. 45:19.820 --> 45:22.922 [SPEAKER_02]: And I still remember almost everything about people that are important to me. 45:22.963 --> 45:24.424 [SPEAKER_02]: So it's like, you can't actually use that. 45:24.464 --> 45:25.965 [SPEAKER_02]: I've just lexia and a bad memory. 45:26.025 --> 45:27.987 [SPEAKER_02]: So if I can get it, you can get it. 45:28.667 --> 45:29.348 [SPEAKER_01]: So fuck you. 45:31.570 --> 45:36.614 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, a few months in your dates have only been like food, drinks, and TV at one of your houses. 45:36.634 --> 45:38.376 [SPEAKER_03]: It's a girl. 45:39.016 --> 45:39.817 [SPEAKER_03]: You know what I'm going to say. 45:40.137 --> 45:41.138 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 45:41.855 --> 45:44.176 [SPEAKER_03]: Man with a plan, if there's no plan, there's no man. 45:44.656 --> 45:45.437 [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. 45:46.037 --> 45:46.277 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 45:46.978 --> 45:50.759 [SPEAKER_02]: Because sometimes it feels really cozy, like, oh, we're getting to know each other, and this is intimate. 45:51.160 --> 45:51.440 [SPEAKER_03]: No. 45:51.820 --> 45:52.580 [SPEAKER_03]: No. 45:53.161 --> 45:53.961 [SPEAKER_03]: It's pursuit. 45:54.201 --> 45:59.123 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, men show interest through pursuit, and pursuit requires a plan, and painting. 45:59.404 --> 46:00.164 [SPEAKER_03]: That's how they show it. 46:01.425 --> 46:01.645 [SPEAKER_01]: Done. 46:02.145 --> 46:06.207 [SPEAKER_01]: Something has come up the last two times you've tried to get him to meet your family. 46:06.956 --> 46:12.900 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, I mean, I think I would have a conversation just be like, is this a coincidence, or it's or something else going on here? 46:12.920 --> 46:13.501 [SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm. 46:14.481 --> 46:17.123 [SPEAKER_03]: And when you're in a relationship, you need to have honest conversations. 46:17.504 --> 46:17.704 [SPEAKER_02]: So. 46:18.573 --> 46:37.590 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, those are the biggest hurdles I related so deeply to like your whole chapter about like meeting the family and kind of like the unspoken rules or that weird power dynamic or like kind of all that goes into it with an in law and it's like it can be so fucking intimidating and that's not an excuse not to do it or to conveniently like have plans. 46:38.451 --> 46:39.612 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, no, you have to do it. 46:39.712 --> 46:45.757 [SPEAKER_03]: I also think like don't you want to know about your partner like raise them like I think that that's so important. 46:46.032 --> 46:46.852 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, exactly. 46:46.872 --> 46:50.333 [SPEAKER_02]: It's attractive to see how they like treat their family or it can be interesting. 46:50.373 --> 46:52.514 [SPEAKER_03]: And also treat you with their family. 46:52.634 --> 46:53.714 [SPEAKER_03]: Like that tells you a lot. 46:53.974 --> 46:55.395 [SPEAKER_03]: Like are they putting your their partner? 46:55.415 --> 46:56.435 [SPEAKER_03]: Are they putting you first? 46:56.495 --> 47:01.897 [SPEAKER_03]: Not in like a they're choosing you over them, but more like they respect you and they want them to respect you. 47:02.384 --> 47:02.604 [SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm. 47:03.004 --> 47:03.524 [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. 47:03.624 --> 47:11.727 [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like there are few things more awkward than when you are at your boyfriend's parents' house up before he is and not sure what to do about food. 47:12.408 --> 47:22.772 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, that is my nightmare and still being married to my husband and going to my in-laws house sometimes I'm like, am I just supposed to go into the fridge? 47:22.792 --> 47:23.552 [SPEAKER_01]: And I do now. 47:24.032 --> 47:25.533 [SPEAKER_03]: But it's like, I don't know. 47:25.573 --> 47:25.893 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know. 47:25.913 --> 47:26.733 [SPEAKER_03]: So true that is awkward. 47:26.833 --> 47:27.473 [SPEAKER_03]: You're so right. 47:28.414 --> 47:31.895 [SPEAKER_01]: He calls his ex as crazy but seems to have some pretty good reasons. 47:33.988 --> 47:34.932 [SPEAKER_03]: I just hate that. 47:35.032 --> 47:35.434 [SPEAKER_03]: But... 47:36.959 --> 47:38.325 [SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes bitches do because of you. 47:39.897 --> 47:45.879 [SPEAKER_01]: My, oh, my husband's exes cheated on him and I still don't let him call them bitches more crazy or anything. 47:45.899 --> 47:49.220 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, no, they probably didn't even fucking know you were dating. 47:49.640 --> 47:50.421 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, yes. 47:50.541 --> 47:51.601 [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm on their side. 47:51.781 --> 47:52.221 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't care. 47:52.401 --> 47:52.762 [SPEAKER_01]: I don't care. 47:52.802 --> 47:53.382 [SPEAKER_01]: I'm on their side. 47:53.702 --> 47:54.502 [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe they were crazy. 47:54.702 --> 47:55.402 [SPEAKER_01]: I've been crazy. 47:55.583 --> 47:58.464 [SPEAKER_01]: So I have to be crazy. 47:58.524 --> 48:00.504 [SPEAKER_02]: He says he just isn't in politics. 48:00.844 -->

48:01.565 [SPEAKER_02]: That's the one I see a 48:09.003 --> 48:09.643 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 48:10.184 --> 48:11.244 [SPEAKER_03]: Hey, definitely rock, rock. 48:11.544 --> 48:12.325 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, goodbye. 48:12.345 --> 48:12.465 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 48:13.425 --> 48:21.049 [SPEAKER_03]: I think in general, like, it's a values thing, the politics, like in different sports, like this is values. 48:21.229 --> 48:24.250 [SPEAKER_03]: And I couldn't date someone without those values. 48:24.270 --> 48:24.491 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 48:25.231 --> 48:28.312 [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm talking about abortion, you're like, I'm just not in heaven. 48:28.332 --> 48:30.333 [SPEAKER_03]: It looks like. 48:30.413 --> 48:31.254 [SPEAKER_03]: Go fuck yourself. 48:31.334 --> 48:32.274 [SPEAKER_03]: I made that so much. 48:32.715 --> 48:35.676 [SPEAKER_01]: Well, it doesn't feel comfortable with you telling your friends 48:39.135 --> 48:40.176 [SPEAKER_03]: And I can't understand that. 48:40.896 --> 48:45.059 [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we are so, I, that's a red flag for me. 48:45.119 --> 48:48.421 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I could not talk about my sex life with every single one of my friends. 48:48.741 --> 48:50.703 [SPEAKER_02]: But I don't know. 48:50.723 --> 48:51.263 [SPEAKER_02]: That's just me. 48:51.343 --> 48:54.785 [SPEAKER_03]: The depends on the friend depends on how intimate we're talking. 48:54.986 --> 48:55.206 [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, 48:57.280 --> 49:00.941 [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, I think there is a level of like, I do think you should be at least. 49:00.981 --> 49:07.182 [SPEAKER_03]: And like, I tell my friends everything, but I do, but there's also a level of privacy that I think a relationship is worthy of. 49:07.202 --> 49:11.183 [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe it's less about the sex stuff, but maybe like a conflict that arose or something. 49:11.464 --> 49:16.625 [SPEAKER_03]: I've learned to like, sometimes it's best to actually like keep that between you, your partner and your therapist. 49:16.965 --> 49:17.185 [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. 49:17.425 --> 49:21.986 [SPEAKER_03]: You know, like when my friends are like, told me stuff that their boyfriend's have done to them, it's hard for me to forget. 49:23.106 --> 49:23.427 [SPEAKER_02]: True. 49:23.907 --> 49:24.527 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 49:25.047 --> 49:25.287 [SPEAKER_02]: True. 49:26.411 --> 49:29.315 [SPEAKER_03]: So it sometimes is better to just not let them know. 49:29.615 --> 49:29.835 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 49:30.256 --> 49:30.536 [SPEAKER_02]: All right. 49:30.656 --> 49:31.057 [SPEAKER_02]: That's fair. 49:31.537 --> 49:33.600 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, Cass, do you want to do this one because you wrote it? 49:35.802 --> 49:40.027 [SPEAKER_01]: Farts in front of you on the third date, not accidentally, but just like, let's it rip. 49:40.288 --> 49:40.508 [SPEAKER_03]: Whoa. 49:41.910 --> 49:44.230 [SPEAKER_03]: Oh my god, I don't know, they're made as crazy. 49:44.671 --> 49:49.071 [SPEAKER_03]: Like, I think you have to, I mean, like, you have to be a fish wall. 49:49.951 --> 49:51.032 [SPEAKER_03]: You're asking this for a second. 49:51.092 --> 49:51.292 [SPEAKER_03]: I agree. 49:51.332 --> 49:53.252 [SPEAKER_03]: I can't control it, but like you have to be a fish wall. 49:53.272 --> 49:54.052 [SPEAKER_03]: The party you can't. 49:54.252 --> 49:55.212 [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. 49:55.292 --> 49:55.512 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 49:55.533 --> 49:59.973 [SPEAKER_01]: Like, if it wasn't accident, like if I scared you and you tuted, that's one thing. 50:00.273 --> 50:02.074 [SPEAKER_01]: But like, if you're just like, fuck it. 50:02.594 --> 50:02.954 [SPEAKER_01]: No, no. 50:02.974 --> 50:04.334 [SPEAKER_01]: That's inappropriate. 50:04.354 --> 50:05.174 [SPEAKER_01]: That's crazy. 50:05.234 --> 50:05.594 [SPEAKER_01]: That's crazy. 50:05.614 --> 50:06.214 [SPEAKER_01]: Fuck, that's crazy. 50:06.234 --> 50:07.355 [SPEAKER_01]: That's like disrespectful. 50:07.495 --> 50:08.335 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think. 50:08.355 --> 50:08.575 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. 50:09.875 --> 50:35.458 [SPEAKER_02]: okay all right that was the end of our red flag rapid fire and my last very last question for you is do you have a favorite like bounce back song like after a breakup after a hard boy crush out like what's your favorite one who run the world's girls I love it perfect I love it not drive up song always that's like the one that you're in front of the mirror like the pre game all right because we do run the world yeah 50:36.322 --> 50:40.343 [SPEAKER_01]: We had a listener submit man-eater the other day and I was like, that's a good one too. 50:40.423 --> 50:40.984 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah. 50:41.744 --> 50:42.644 [SPEAKER_02]: Because they're both right. 50:43.585 --> 50:43.945 [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. 50:44.005 --> 50:46.886 [SPEAKER_01]: Can you tell our listeners where they can buy your book? 50:47.846 --> 50:49.066 [SPEAKER_01]: Where they can follow you? 50:49.106 --> 50:49.827 [SPEAKER_01]: All of that could stuff. 50:49.907 --> 50:50.887 [SPEAKER_03]: Let's fucking date. 50:50.947 --> 50:52.288 [SPEAKER_03]: Let's fucking date.com. 50:52.348 --> 50:55.709 [SPEAKER_03]: Wherever you buy your books, it'll be available on September 22nd. 50:55.729 --> 50:58.810 [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm so grateful for everyone who listened. 50:58.830 --> 50:59.470 [SPEAKER_03]: This was so funny. 50:59.490 --> 51:00.050 [SPEAKER_03]: You guys were amazing. 51:00.070 --> 51:00.770 [SPEAKER_03]: I love your questions. 51:00.810 --> 51:01.751 [SPEAKER_03]: I love the conversation. 51:02.741 --> 51:03.765 [SPEAKER_03]: updates on your dating life. 51:03.806 --> 51:05.271 [SPEAKER_03]: We in I absolutely will. 51:05.693 --> 51:05.994 [SPEAKER_02]: Yes. 51:06.074 --> 51:06.355 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. 51:06.536 --> 51:07.319 [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you so much. 51:07.480 --> 51:07.841 [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you very 51:20.044 --> 51:26.131 [SPEAKER_02]: Um, so when Serena complimented my eyes, I gotta say, I gotta say, I'm gonna be riding that

high for a while. 51:26.591 --> 51:29.214 [SPEAKER_01]: As you should, how does it feel to meet one of your heroes? 51:29.654 --> 51:31.396 [SPEAKER_01]: Because they always say not to, you know? 51:31.456 --> 51:32.297 [SPEAKER_02]: They always say not to. 51:32.738 --> 51:33.879 [SPEAKER_02]: No, it was fantastic. 51:33.939 --> 51:35.080 [SPEAKER_02]: She was exactly... 51:36.221 --> 51:42.644 [SPEAKER_02]: who I thought she would be often like all the content of hers that I've watched and over the years exactly who I thought she'd be. 51:42.784 --> 51:49.627 [SPEAKER_02]: I love the directness with which she serves her information and her POV. 51:49.727 --> 51:54.309 [SPEAKER_02]: Like we meet so many incredible people on this podcast and a lot of it. 51:55.049 --> 52:00.916 [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of our conversations are very intuitive based and somatic based and feeling based, which I love. 52:00.936 --> 52:06.143 [SPEAKER_02]: But I also want to be like bitch slapped by a New Yorker and told how to do life a little bit better. 52:06.163 --> 52:11.449 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think it was really funny when she was like, yeah, and that's why you're single, like most of the time. 52:11.489 --> 52:12.671 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and that's your fault. 52:13.892 --> 52:14.852 [SPEAKER_02]: You're fucking right. 52:15.753 --> 52:17.193 [SPEAKER_02]: That's exactly why I'm single. 52:17.613 --> 52:22.674 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think we could stay on to take a little bit of that confidence from her for ourselves. 52:22.694 --> 52:32.017 [SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean and apply that in our lives and try and be maybe not less emotional, but just a little more like yeah, I know what I'm going to fucking do it. 52:32.657 --> 52:33.298 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I like that. 52:33.318 --> 52:34.459 [SPEAKER_02]: I have a little bit more agency. 52:34.499 --> 52:37.441 [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's how I want to apply it to myself. 52:38.522 --> 52:40.484 [SPEAKER_02]: And I think I could stand to get a little bit tougher. 52:40.584 --> 52:44.647 [SPEAKER_02]: So I appreciate that this was one step closer to the only little photographer. 52:45.108 --> 52:46.789 [SPEAKER_01]: So stand to get a little tougher. 52:47.170 --> 52:50.092 [SPEAKER_02]: I could be a little tougher with my feelings. 52:50.272 --> 52:55.877 [SPEAKER_02]: So thank you so much, Serena Fucking Care again for coming on the podcast to promote your amazing book Let's Fucking Date. 52:56.398 --> 52:58.700 [SPEAKER_02]: And thank you to our honey's for hanging out. 52:59.260 --> 53:06.624 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, if you want to leave us a fucking review, you can head on over to Apple podcast to rate review and subscribe to honeydew do me leave us a wait. 53:06.684 --> 53:07.224 [SPEAKER_01]: What did I say? 53:07.564 --> 53:09.265 [SPEAKER_02]: Wait, I love my spot. 53:09.345 --> 53:12.867 [SPEAKER_02]: Just a great review and subscribe to honeydew do me. 53:12.907 --> 53:16.168 [SPEAKER_02]: You can head on over to Spotify and read us or something like there. 53:16.708 --> 53:17.909 [SPEAKER_02]: It's something like that. 53:18.509 --> 53:21.211 [SPEAKER_01]: You can follow us on Instagram and TikTok. 53:21.511 --> 53:25.513 [SPEAKER_01]: You can watch ad free episodes if you subscribe to our Patreon. 53:25.533 --> 53:26.133 [SPEAKER_01]: You're also kidding. 53:26.273 --> 53:29.234 [SPEAKER_01]: cute exclusive content there and be a part of our honey family. 53:30.094 --> 53:35.235 [SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't care about ads slipping in every now and then, then you can watch the video episodes on YouTube. 53:35.315 --> 53:38.196 [SPEAKER_01]: Also, if you're a man over 60, apparently, that's the place to be. 53:40.697 --> 53:43.137 [SPEAKER_01]: But we're not advertising that except for right now. 53:43.157 --> 53:44.718 [SPEAKER_01]: We wanted to be different right now. 53:44.878 --> 53:46.478 [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we're not encouraging that. 53:46.518 --> 53:49.179 [SPEAKER_01]: We're just stating facts right now. 53:49.319 --> 53:50.579 [SPEAKER_01]: So that's what we're at. 53:50.919 --> 53:52.380 [SPEAKER_01]: It shots everybody when we tell them. 53:53.307 --> 53:59.274 [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, maybe we should just stop and hopefully more people will join that are actually in our demo. 54:00.836 --> 54:01.878 [SPEAKER_01]: Anyways, okay, that's it. 54:01.898 --> 54:02.558 [SPEAKER_01]: See you next week. 54:02.578 --> 54:02.659 [SPEAKER_01]: Bye. 54:03.099 --> 54:03.420 [SPEAKER_01]: Bye.