TRANSCRIPT 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.000
But what we can say is this is a flywheel that continues.
00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:08.240
Stressed out kids create a stressed out teacher.
00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:11.919
Stressed out teachers create stressed out kids.
00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:18.559
Education needs people who are truly present, not just in the building.
00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:22.559
I'm Edward DeShazer, and welcome to Homeroom Attendance.
00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:24.640
Your seat is safe.
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:31.920
What's going on, Pa?
00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:33.920
Welcome back to Homeroom Attendance.
00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.759
I'm your host, Edward Shazer.
00:00:36.079 --> 00:00:40.799
And today I'm asking, are you present or are you absent?
00:00:42.079 --> 00:00:51.920
Picture this: a kid in your classroom or in the hallway says something under their breath, or they slam the Chromebook shut.
00:00:52.320 --> 00:00:58.320
Young lady in her class rolls her eyes so hard you can practically hear it.
00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:05.599
And before your brain has a chance to weigh in, your body has already made a decision.
00:01:06.319 --> 00:01:19.920
Face begins to get hot, your voice goes up a notch or two, the jaw tightens, and you hear yourself say something that you are going to replay the entire car ride.
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:25.439
Today's episode is about those 10 seconds in between.
00:01:25.599 --> 00:01:36.079
And by the end of it, you're going to have some tools that you can use in the middle of class, in the middle of the school day, with all your kids watching to calm your own body down before you respond.
00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:38.159
Neither takes more than a few seconds.
00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:42.640
I know we're busy, and nobody in the room even has to know that you're doing it.
00:01:43.120 --> 00:01:49.280
But before we get into it, if this episode and this podcast has brought you value at all, please give us a review.
00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:51.280
Please like if you're watching on YouTube.
00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:56.959
And those are free ways that you can help support homeroom attendance.
00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:02.799
So there's a word that gets thrown around in schools a lot right now.
00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:06.239
And that word is regulation.
00:02:06.959 --> 00:02:09.120
I talk about regulating students.
00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:16.319
In the classroom, you have calm down corners, you have break passes, you have uh check-in charts for your kids.
00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:17.759
These are all good things.
00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:22.879
But there's a part of the conversation that I think we often skip, or I don't hear enough.
00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:30.080
Kids that have been through a lot of trauma don't learn to calm down by being told to calm down.
00:02:30.319 --> 00:02:34.240
For my married people, I'm gonna give you some breaking news.
00:02:35.199 --> 00:02:47.599
If your spouse is upset or emotions are high, the fastest way to not get them to calm down is by telling them to calm down.
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:50.639
Kids are no different.
00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:56.879
Kids learn how to calm down by a calm adult who is sitting next to them or who is near them.
00:02:57.199 --> 00:02:59.520
Psychologists call that co-regulation.
00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:03.120
And for the sake of this episode, I want to call it uh borrowing.
00:03:04.719 --> 00:03:08.879
All day long, the kids in our class are borrowing our nervous systems.
00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:11.280
I want you to picture a middle school dance.
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:14.080
I used to work in the nightlife.
00:03:14.159 --> 00:03:20.159
Um there's a I I I've been familiar with DJing and DJs.
00:03:20.719 --> 00:03:28.000
And when a floor is getting too wild, the DJs don't turn it up by putting another crazier song.
00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:38.000
DJs read the room and they set the tempo of the music based on what they want the room to do, and then the crowd then follows the DJ.
00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:40.639
Our classrooms work the same way.
00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:45.520
When we are running hot, our classrooms run hot.
00:03:45.919 --> 00:03:54.240
When we slow down, our classroom and hallway and school and office has something to slow down with as well.
00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:01.039
This is not something that I'm trying to make someone feel guilty about.
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:05.599
Because if your body has been running hot lately, there's a reason.
00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:06.560
It's November.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.639
Conferences probably just ended.
00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:10.319
You're going through data.
00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:12.719
If you're a parent, you may have sick kids at home.
00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:14.240
Shoot, you may be sick.
00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:18.879
The lesson plan that you wrote four times just isn't hitting the way you thought.
00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:25.600
Your nervous system is doing exactly what nervous systems do under heavy load.
00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:32.399
What we want to do is we want to give it a better job to do.
00:04:32.959 --> 00:04:37.199
So before I go any further, I want to tell you about something that is close to my heart.
00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:43.680
This episode of Homeroom Attendance is brought to you by Lessons, L-E-S-S-Y-N-S.
00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:50.399
Full transparency lessons is something that my team and I have been building since December of 2025.
00:04:51.439 --> 00:05:00.720
And I wanted to build lessons because I kept meeting teachers at conferences, at events, who were giving everything to their students but had nothing left for themselves.
00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:01.920
That sound like you?
00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:06.079
Well, Lessons is a wellness app that is made for educators by educators.
00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:14.639
We have quick resets, we have check-ins, we have all these things that are built for an educator by an educator who understands the cadence of
Load full transcript
education.
00:05:14.879 --> 00:05:19.680
The call map where they got you meditating at 8 o'clock at night, that doesn't do me any good in 11 a.m.
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:21.600
when a kid just cussed me out.
00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:29.360
But educators under and I this was built by me as an educator because I understand what educators need in the moment.
00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:32.560
And right now we're in our beta test, and I would love to have you join it.
00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:35.360
If you want to join it, you get free lifetime access.
00:05:35.439 --> 00:05:38.160
And in return, we're just asking for honest feedback.
00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:46.000
Uh, but you can head to www.lessonsl-e-s-s-y-n-s.com, sign up there, download the app today.
00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:50.959
So you sign up there, then you'll get an email to download the app, and you get it free for the rest of your life.
00:05:51.199 --> 00:05:52.240
Nice and simple.
00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:54.240
All right, back to the episode.
00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:56.560
Uh, stress is contagious.
00:05:56.879 --> 00:05:58.480
There's research on that.
00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:22.720
There was a team at British Columbia that did a did research uh with some educators and their students, and they were drawing saliva uh throughout as this was at a school, and they were asking teachers about burnout while also measuring the kids in their classrooms cortisol through saliva uh samples throughout the school day.
00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:34.879
In classrooms where teachers reported more burnout and emotional exhaustion, the students had higher cortisol level readings in the morning.
00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:42.800
Now, what we can say is we don't know which one came first, whether the kids' cortisol was high, then the teachers got stressed, or vice versa.
00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:47.040
But what we can say is this is a flywheel that continues.
00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:51.360
Stressed out kids create a stressed-out teacher.
00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:54.560
Stressed out teachers create stressed out kids.
00:06:54.720 --> 00:07:02.800
So this is a flywheel in education that continues and continues because of the cycle that stress can cause.
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:13.199
But in classrooms with more burned-out teachers, kids had higher stress hormones in the morning, from according to this study that was done.
00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:20.480
So, as someone that's been in education for 21 years, I've written a book about believing in kids.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:29.759
Let me be very honest, I still have moments where my body makes a decision before my heart does.
00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:35.360
There are times where kids do things that irritate the mess out of me.
00:07:35.839 --> 00:07:45.519
And I have to correct and regulate myself before I can respond, but I feel my body reacting before my words even come out of my mouth.
00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:52.639
And what I've learned to understand is that in those moments, kids don't
always need a speech.
00:07:53.120 --> 00:08:02.800
They need me to lower my heart rate lower than theirs and not raise my heart rate, then they're raised theirs, and now we're just feeding off of each other, getting higher and higher.
00:08:02.959 --> 00:08:07.360
So here's two, two tools that you can use.
00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:09.759
Um, and nobody has to know what you're using them.
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:14.240
The first one is a breath technique that I that I love.
00:08:14.319 --> 00:08:16.240
That's actually in the Lessons app.
00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:23.759
And this is why the Lessons app, we do things that are scientifically proven because we want to help teachers regulate.
00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:36.080
But researchers at Stanford ran a study comparing different five five-minute daily breathing practices with mindful mindfulness and meditation over an entire month.
00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:41.360
The one that improved people's moods the most was something called cyclic sighing.
00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:47.039
You take two breaths in through your nose, one full one, and then one short one to top it off.
00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:54.639
And then you then you let one long breath out through your mouth, and the exhale is what does the work.
00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:56.559
So this is what it looks like.
00:08:57.039 --> 00:09:00.799
Or I guess you can't see if you're listening, but this is what it sounds like for those that are listening.
00:09:00.960 --> 00:09:03.039
Looks like if you're watching on YouTube.
00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:15.440
Now, this is something that you can do as you're walking to a student's desk.
00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:18.960
You can do it to your with your back to the students while you're writing on the board.
00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:22.480
You can do it as you're logging an infinite campus to document whatever it is.
00:09:22.639 --> 00:09:25.200
Um, but one side is not going to fix everything.
00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:30.879
But what it does do is it buys your brain enough time to catch up with your body.
00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:38.000
And that's where the that's the gap where your best response is going to live.
00:09:38.159 --> 00:09:42.080
We have to regulate, then respond, not respond first.
00:09:42.879 --> 00:09:45.360
Maybe you do this in the parking lot before you get out of your car.
00:09:45.519 --> 00:09:47.200
Maybe you do it between classes.
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:52.000
Maybe you do it when you get out to the car when you're getting ready to head home, so you can respond better to your family at home.
00:09:52.159 --> 00:10:00.639
So again, two breaths in through your nose, uh, one, and then one top it off, and then run big exhale out through your mouth where it's like.
00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:06.879
All right, second one is your voice.
00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:11.360
When we get activated, our voices get louder and they get faster.
00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:18.879
Most kids will read this as a threat, and kids who have been
through very difficult situations will read it faster than kids who have not.
00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:22.320
So, what I need us to do is do the opposite on purpose.
00:10:22.639 --> 00:10:29.360
When we are having a kid that is struggling, I need us to drop our voice lower than feels natural.
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:32.080
I need us to slow our words down.
00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:38.720
And if you can, I want you to get beside the student instead of standing over the student.
00:10:38.960 --> 00:10:48.399
So if a student is sitting at their desk, I want you to crouch down at their desk on the side of them versus looking directly at their face.
00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:59.440
This will help a student perceive you much less as a threat, and it will help us not put our students in fight or flight mode right away.
00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:03.120
Now, we're not letting them off the hook.
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:07.120
We are still going to address the behavior.
00:11:07.519 --> 00:11:15.039
You are just now doing this in a tone and a voice that his or her body can actually hear.
00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:21.679
And if you lead a grade level team, I want you to try modeling this at your next team meeting when things get tense.
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:26.879
Slow your voice down before responding to that hard comment.
00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:31.440
So your team can also borrow your nervous system.
00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:37.120
So I want to end with a story, but I was trying to model what that should feel like, crouching down and all those things.
00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:39.200
Very rarely should you talk over kids.
00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:44.720
I want you crouching down at their eye level so you they feel on level playing field.
00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:47.279
They don't feel like someone's looming over the top of them.
00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:56.480
January 20, 2009, that flight was taken off from there's a movie about it, from LaGuardia, I believe it was, or JFK in New York.
00:11:57.120 --> 00:12:00.159
And a couple minutes later, it hits a flock of geese.
00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:02.559
Both engines go out.
00:12:02.799 --> 00:12:10.000
Um, you know, the captain, I forget his name, Captain Um, I don't remember his name, Captain's, Captain Sully.
00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:16.399
He has a choice to make and he has only a few minutes to figure out what to do.
00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:25.279
What he ends up doing is he ends up putting that plane down on the Hudson River, 100 to 200, 300 people that were on board of this plane.
00:12:25.600 --> 00:12:33.039
But the part that stuck out with me more than anything, I remember listening to the news some weeks after.
00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:45.679
And when the investigators released the cockpit recordings that were going on with the radio traffic and traffic control, what stood out the most to me was how calm the crew sounded.
00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:52.879
There was no yelling, there was no panic, just clear and steady words, one decision at a time.
00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:59.679
And when he got on the intercom to tell the passengers to brace, he did it in three words.
00:12:59.919 --> 00:13:02.879
And he was so unbelievably calm.
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:08.720
That calm for Captain Sully didn't show up on accident in those three and a half minutes.
00:13:09.039 --> 00:13:13.919
This captain had decades of experience and practice behind it.
00:13:14.080 --> 00:13:15.440
And that's what I want for you.
00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:17.679
I don't want you to have a perfect classroom.
00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:22.000
Some days your engines are going to go out in second, third, shoot.
00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:24.240
Some days you walk in and your engines are out.
00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:29.120
But you can still be the steadiest voice in your classroom.
00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:37.840
You can still be the steadiest voice in that hallway, in that office, in that cafeteria, in that room, wherever you may be in your school.
00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:40.480
You can be that voice.
00:13:40.960 --> 00:14:02.639
So what I'll leave you with today, tomorrow, if you're listening on Sunday, tomorrow, when one of those students starts to get anxious, when they start to lose it, when they start to do all these things, what will you, how will you respond?
00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:13.519
Will you escalate and get excited and do all this and get animated and tell them I'm told you to sit down over and over and over again, and I told you to sit over there and you wouldn't sit over there?
00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:20.159
Or will you correct your voice, talk slower, crouch down to the kid.
00:14:20.399 --> 00:14:25.200
Now I know whatever you may be feeling in this moment, not telling you not to feel that.
00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:32.879
But what I am telling you is that in my classroom, in my hallway, you know that this is not how we act.
00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:34.960
I expect better from you.
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:36.559
We're gonna get it together.
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:40.240
If you need some time to breathe, to collect yourself, I understand.
00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:43.120
Sometimes as an adult, I need that too.
00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:52.559
But now we are teaching our kids how to regulate themselves because they are watching us regulate ourselves.
00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:55.519
You have been present for homeroom attendance.
00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:58.639
Class is dissed.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:01.679
Have a good rest of the day, folks.