Full Transcript for Episode 120: Keep Looking For The Helpers

in my Ko-Fi. 00:02:40.960 --> 00:02:50.719 Ko-Fi is just like a Patreon, it's a payment service that connects you to PayPal or whatever you want that will send me some nickels and dimes each month. 00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:59.919 And it just allows me to keep this thing afloat and allows me to stay artistic, you know, have a tiny bit of income coming in. 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:02.960 And uh, trust me when I say there aren't many people in there. 00:03:03.039 --> 00:03:08.639 So if you're interested and you want to support what I do, I would appreciate it so much. 00:03:08.800 --> 00:03:12.960 You can find me at ko-fi.com slash graven canada. 00:03:13.039 --> 00:03:18.800 That's K-O-F-I, as in Frank.com slash graven canada. 00:03:19.039 --> 00:03:22.159 It's not the easiest website to say. 00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:24.719 Sometimes I get tripped up. 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:26.560 So that's always great. 00:03:27.120 --> 00:03:30.319 When you're like, hey, you know that place where you can go to give me money? 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:33.280 I'm gonna try and get you lost on the way there. 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:34.800 Great marketing. 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:44.000 But it's uh no, it's a lovely spot, and and there are some folks in there, and I'm I'm developing a site that will keep people more connected. 00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:47.840 And I'm gonna write that down actually right now. 00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:50.000 Ko-Fi site. 00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:53.759 I put it on my my uh lined paper over here. 00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:57.199 So listen, got some show announcements coming up. 00:03:57.439 --> 00:04:04.400 First of all, for any and all of you who are at the Ron Hawkins garage show, that was a treat. 00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:07.280 Thank you so much to all of you who bought tickets. 00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:14.319 There were close to about 50 of you who came out, hung out in my garage on a really rainy day. 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:17.839 And I've never had a rain out at a yard show. 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:33.600 You know, I thought I was this lucky human being who was going to do these yard shows because I thought, you know, it's only two hours that I need decent weather, and the dates that I pick randomly, not very often, you know, luck-wise, I should be good, right? 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:35.920 Universe-wise, I thought maybe I'll be okay. 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.560 But this day, no, wasn't having it. 00:04:38.639 --> 00:04:44.160 About 4:30, the heavens just opened and dumped. 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.759 And so, and and and I mean water dump. 00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:49.439 Okay, that sounds worse. 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:50.240 Never mind. 00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:53.279 Let's uh let's get our minds out of that gutter. 00:04:53.839 --> 00:05:02.319 Uh yeah, it was it was really rainy, and a great man named Steve Unwin said, Hey, I have a 10 by 20 tent. 00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:09.439 In fact, he said he has two of them, but he said, Oh, I can bring that, and then that that will give people a place to stand. 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:18.399 Because originally I was still thinking of doing it in the yard and get people to bring umbrellas, but the rain went from like 70% that day to like 80. 00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:21.600 And as the day got closer, it was like 85, 90. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:23.600 It's like, okay, this is happening. 00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:26.560 The rain is coming, there ain't no snapping it. 00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:29.199 So we put it in the garage. 00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:31.279 And thank you so much to everyone who came. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:35.439 It ended up being a really great, really unique special time. 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:36.959 So thank you for that. 00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:41.279 And I've got all your emails, and I'll let you all know about more shows coming up. 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:50.560 Also, in the same breath, was planning to have Sky Wallace, the amazing effervescent Sky Wallace in my yard on July 18th. 00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:52.639 That show is no longer happening. 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:58.319 So if you bought tickets, you should see a refund coming your way that's completely canceled. 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.639 So the refunds have been sent. 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:04.000 Um, Sky just wasn't able to do it. 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:07.199 And with my schedule too, we were both kind of unsure. 00:06:07.519 --> 00:06:13.759 And it's also it was also right smack dab during blues fest uh festival season here in Ottawa. 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:19.199 So we decided to ex nay it to forego it for a future date. 00:06:19.439 --> 00:06:20.879 So stay tuned for that. 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:31.279 Sky will be back, and she's excited to to come to Graventown and and have a yard or a garage show here, whichever one would be great. 00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:48.800 Um, yeah, and then uh also coming up in August, the great and fabulous, fantastical Stephen Stanley will be playing in my yard on August, I believe it's the 22nd. 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:50.399 Yeah, the 22nd. 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:51.759 So that's Saturday. 00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:53.439 Steven Stanley will be here. 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:55.279 I'll play a couple songs before. 00:06:55.439 --> 00:06:58.720 I'm sure we'll probably probably play on each other's songs too. 00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:00.560 It's always so great to play with Steven. 00:07:00.879 --> 00:07:02.319 I love that guy. 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:06.959 And yeah, that that should be a jolly old time. 00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:12.000 And then on September the 12th, that will cap off the yard shows. 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:15.360 There'll be another Sky makeup date in there, another Sky Wallace makeup date. 00:07:15.439 --> 00:07:30.319 But September 12th will be with Melissa Payne in my yard, the magical, mystical Melissa Payne, who, by the way, played all over my newest record, which, if you haven't got it yet, do not pass go. 00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:32.240 Do not

collect$200. 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:36.480 Go and get my friggin' album, Geographics. 00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:40.079 Um, I think it's it's really something special. 00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:42.639 It's funny to sit here and look at the vinyl. 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:48.639 It's just sitting on my desk, and I think about when it was just a fledgling thing. 00:07:48.800 --> 00:08:00.000 It was really something that I thought, oh, you know, for like a lark, this will be sort of fun to go out east, go back and record with Charles, who I've recorded with before, and I love him. 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:06.079 And Melissa just happened to be free during a couple days, and I was like, oh, it'd be great, great to get Melissa to come too. 00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:13.360 And the songs I was, you know, pretty sure about, like that I I thought there was a theme and a vibe to it. 00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:26.079 Like there's a lot of sort of travel themes going on, but now to have it wrapped up in this thing that is kind of moving and you know, somewhat affecting people, I think is really beautiful. 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:33.120 And my friend Mark really made the cover art, the album art, really pop. 00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:50.960 Like it it it came out into something special, was sort of based on an old idea of a show poster from the album release for my album Years, which happened uh early 2020, right before the pandemic shut everything down. 00:08:51.360 --> 00:08:54.559 So and it's but it's different. 00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:58.879 I wanted to change the colors and also change the vibe and add some other things to it. 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:05.519 So it's so cool how you know it is what it is now. 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:16.320 It's this thing, and it's just kind of living, growing, breathing like a tree in a musical forest out there somewhere. 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:18.159 And I'm so thankful. 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:28.480 Man, I am like burping, I'm clearing my throat, I'm doing all kinds of things that you can't hear because I'm I'm pausing it every time. 00:09:28.639 --> 00:09:33.039 I'm just having some guttural issues today. 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:34.960 But it's all good, man. 00:09:35.039 --> 00:09:37.600 Hey, we're about we're about 10 minutes in. 00:09:37.759 --> 00:09:50.320 And as you can hear from my voice, um probably since the last pod that I threw out into the ether pond, I am um oh, did you hear that gurgle there? 00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:52.320 Man, I just I can't even hide it today. 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:56.799 It's just things are happening, things are brewing internally. 00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:10.879 But since my last pod, I think I've turned a bit of a corner in terms of finding a silver lining, looking up, finding the good in everyone, like that song by Sloane. 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:45.600 Um, I've I've had a lot of people just sort of step up, and if if you didn't hear in the last podcast, I talked about it a little bit, but sort of going through this legal situation on the heels of a really good friend dying, and then you know, another friend getting sick, and it's just like it was this swirling sea of chaos that all kind of brewed and just blugh at once, just splashed up on the shore, all this debris, everything. 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:47.519 I think I think in metaphors sometimes. 00:10:47.759 --> 00:10:54.799 So yeah, it was very heavy and a lot to deal with all at once. 00:10:55.120 --> 00:11:01.039 And you know, you're just kind of existing, trying to be nimble, trying to adapt. 00:11:01.919 --> 00:11:09.679 And it and I think I mentioned in the last one, it's the idea of feeling like you know, you're not quite ready. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:16.399 I think I used a metaphor of like a muscular person in a field prepping to get hit. 00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:18.799 Oh, Stephen Stanley just texted me. 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:20.399 How funny is that that I mentioned him? 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:21.840 That's happened a few times on this pod. 00:11:21.919 --> 00:11:27.679 I was talking about Melissa, then she texted me or called me, and then same thing with Steven. 00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:30.000 Um, he texted me. 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:34.080 Anyway, that's the universe connecting you with good people. 00:11:34.159 --> 00:11:39.440 But I use this image of a guy in a field who's flexing, flexing, flexing, just prepping for the worst. 00:11:39.519 --> 00:11:48.399 And there's this cannon, you know, 100 meters away, shooting softballs at 100 miles an hour at him, but it hasn't, nothing's come out yet. 00:11:48.480 --> 00:12:03.759 And he's just like prepping for the worst, and then just kind of finally relaxes after minutes go by, and he's like, All right, I guess nothing's happening, and then boom, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, you know, rapid fire, rapid fire right into the abdomen groin. 00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:11.600 That's what a lot of the last little while felt like, but I have kind of rounded a corner, I think. 00:12:11.679 --> 00:12:15.279 I I I do feel more like myself. 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:26.480 I feel like, you know, I'm going to make it through this situation, which is a good feeling, instead of the at the beginning, man. 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:37.360 I remember the first day or two was just like panic after panic, dread after dread, panic, dread, panic, dread, anxiety, panic, dread, panic, dread, anxiety. 00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:39.600 That was my state of mind. 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:46.080 Just like spike, spike, spike, spike, everything spiking, you know, ears whistling. 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:48.240 It was bad news. 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:50.000 Bad news bears. 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:59.679 And to get through that, I mean, I think it's one of the greatest teachers in life always is time. 00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:03.759 You know, you just really have to find your way. 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:06.559 Sometimes you really have to sit in it too. 00:13:06.720 --> 00:13:13.440

You got to sit in that panic, dread, and anxiety, and just sit there and think, okay, well, what what is really happening? 00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:17.600 Like, am I in imminent danger? 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:23.279 Are there imminent threats around me that are trying to, you know, harm me? 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:25.200 What's going on? 00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:32.000 And and and once you know get past that, you think no, it's it's true. 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.000 I'm I'm I'm okay for the moment. 00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:36.320 And you start to focus more on the positives. 00:13:36.480 --> 00:14:01.600 I think any experience that really kind of scoops out the detritus of your bottom, the kind of, you know, if you're if your body is like a sea, it's like a big soup ladle that just like scoops out sand and shells and rock bits and weird organisms from the bottom of you. 00:14:01.759 --> 00:14:26.000 What once that happens, it also kind of changes your DNA a little bit, changes your ways of thinking, it changes your neural pathways for sure, and it helps you to focus on the good because it's like the smoke clears, the storm goes away, and then you're sort of like, okay, yeah, well, I guess uh things aren't that bad. 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:35.840 And this current situation, which I'm not gonna get into the details of, by the way, I do have a GoFundMe, which you can you can find on any of my socials at Craven Canada. 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:40.240 Thank you so much to anyone who who has helped with this legal situation. 00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:41.600 It's been horrific. 00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:55.759 But you can find that anywhere at Graven Canada on any of my socials, and and if you have any nickels and dimes, it would be amazing if you're able to help about halfway to where I need to be, which is fucking incredible. 00:14:56.559 --> 00:15:05.919 But it's the situation, which I'm not going to talk a lot about, but basically I'm almost I'm not able to drive for another eight weeks about. 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:16.159 And in this time of not driving, I've had so many people be like, Hey, can I can I help? 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:18.080 You know, do you need a ride? 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:19.679 Can I help with this? 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:21.039 What do you need? 00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:34.799 And I'm telling you, friends, that feeling feeling like you're alone in the universe, no matter what you're going through, has got to be pure hell. 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:39.519 And I've known people, I've been close with people who have felt that way. 00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:41.759 It's not a good place to be. 00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:55.360 Um, luckily, one of the tools in my tool shed that I I've had early on, it probably comes from growing up in the church, it probably comes from finding, you know, just good people that I connect with and vibe with. 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:01.759 Is is the older I've become, the less afraid I am to ask for help. 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:07.440 The less afraid I am to be like, hey, can you do you think you could help me with this? 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:09.600 And if people say no, they say no. 00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:17.279 I mean, and the flip side of that is I am a very independent person, and I try not to rely on anyone. 00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:19.279 I really like to have my own schedule. 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:22.639 I like to do what I want to do when I want to do it. 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:24.639 That was almost true. 00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:26.399 When I want to do it. 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:45.759 I um, yeah, I I'm very independent, but at the same time, I think I'm pretty community-minded, and I like having good people around me, within reach, people that I know and love and can trust. 00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:51.440 And, you know, so many people in the last while just really stepped up. 00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:56.799 And I tell you, man, when you go through a situation like this, it shows you who your friends are. 00:16:57.200 --> 00:16:58.480 It really does. 00:16:58.799 --> 00:17:07.039 And uh I I you know, I've had some negative moments too from people I think who were just sort of ancillary satellite friends, and that's okay, that will happen. 00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:12.799 But you gotta protect yourself, especially when going through a tragedy. 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:16.720 And I was steeped in a tragedy for a few weeks there. 00:17:16.799 --> 00:17:18.000 It was it was rough. 00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:22.319 Um, but you know, the weather's a bit nicer. 00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:33.519 It's it's like rainy today, it's just kind of that mid-June drizzle that we get sometimes, but that's gonna make everything green and sparkly and beautiful. 00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:36.240 And uh, I just I just feel okay. 00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:43.839 You know, I don't feel I don't really feel uh upset. 00:17:44.880 --> 00:17:47.920 I don't feel like anyone's against me. 00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:50.960 I feel like I'm doing what I should be doing. 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:54.640 I'm I'm feeling like what happened was supposed to happen too. 00:17:54.720 --> 00:18:01.200 It's a it's super unfortunate and it's super bank account draining and really sucky. 00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:04.720 But you know, what am I gonna do? 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:09.200 I I have to find my way through this, and it's gonna be alright. 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:23.519 You know, there will be more songs probably written about this situation, there will be more learning, more therapy, more work to be done with because of this situation. 00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:25.279 So I'm I'm thankful for that. 00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:36.079 I'm thankful to know that I I will be on the other side of it at one point, and I'm already time is already allowing for that to happen. 00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:39.279 And um, yeah, look for the helpers. 00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:42.640 That's something that I know I say often, and I'm a big, big fan of the

Mr. 00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:46.799 Rogers documentary, which if you've never seen it, you really have to. 00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:50.160 It will change you, I'm telling you. 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:51.519 It's so good. 00:18:52.160 --> 00:18:54.400 Um yeah. 00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:03.839 You really have to look for the helpers because they will present themselves and they're there, they want to help. 00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:11.599 They're not looking for anything, they're not wanting anything in return, they're just wanting to help. 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:13.200 And it's a it's a hard thing. 00:19:13.279 --> 00:19:18.480 It's sometimes an ego thing for men to be like, no, I'm resourceful, I can do whatever. 00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:20.559 I don't need help from anybody, I don't need help. 00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:22.000 Help is weak. 00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:24.160 You know, you ever hear that from people? 00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:26.559 Being if you need help, you're weak. 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:28.480 Bullshit, man. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:32.559 All of us need help, all of us need community. 00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:34.559 We all need to lean on each other. 00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:48.240 That's the fucking history of human beings, that's the history of progress, that's the history of good things that happen that show you that you're not alone in this universe. 00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:54.079 You have people who care about you, who love you, who want you to succeed. 00:19:54.640 --> 00:20:08.400 And and part of me finding my crew of people that do want all those things for me, and I want all those things for them was uh a few shows that I played recently. 00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:13.119 And so it started by going to Wolf Island, a little story time here. 00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:17.599 I should cap off with Graven story times. 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:20.480 That's sort of what I always go into, but yeah. 00:20:20.640 --> 00:20:23.519 So here's a Graven Town story time for you. 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:36.400 Gather in, get your hot chocolate of marshmallows, and just crack off, snap off a few graham crackers into into there, and just make it a nice little s'more drink. 00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:38.559 Not an actual s'more sandwich, okay? 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:44.319 Like a s'more hot chocolate drink with some graham cracker crust on top. 00:20:45.920 --> 00:21:08.079 So last Wednesday I needed to go to Wolf Island, and I was thinking, okay, you know, me being the hey, I'm just going to, you know, be resourceful, be proactive, book a train ticket to Kingston, just from Ottawa, that's the closest station on the via. 00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:14.880 And then I just saw a text from my friend Paul. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:17.119 Oh, it's funny. 00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:18.640 I'll tell you about it later. 00:21:19.039 --> 00:21:24.480 So I was gonna take the train down to Kingston, then get a cab or an Uber over to the ferry. 00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:25.759 Easy. 00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:30.079 You know, bring a couple guitars, just keep everything pretty together. 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:37.839 But it was a couple days before, my friend Allie, who helps uh fix my car from time to time. 00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:42.559 Allie is a beautiful, unique human being. 00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:48.160 And Allie said, Hey, what's going on with Wolf Island? 00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:49.279 Like, how are you getting down there? 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:56.640 And I said, Well, I'm just gonna take the train, I think, and then you know, cab or whatever. 00:21:56.960 --> 00:21:58.559 And I was like, Well, why do you ask? 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:02.319 And she said, Well, I've been thinking about going down to Wolf Island. 00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:06.960 That sounds like a fun night to take in a show, so I'll give you a ride. 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:09.519 I mean, it's almost two hours to Kingston. 00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:12.160 So that was just like a blessing. 00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:13.920 I was like, okay, amazing. 00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:23.279 So I started off this trip with this real gem uh of a moment sparked by a friend who helps me all the time, by the way. 00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:25.039 Allie is a true, true helper. 00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:26.400 You want to look for a helper? 00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:28.000 That's Allie 100%. 00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:31.200 So I'm starting off with this helper. 00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:36.640 Anyway, we're going to play, I'm going to Wolf Island to play with Steven Stanley. 00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:57.359 Steven Stanley, another helper, someone who constantly wants to boost other people's signals, who is an incredible, super talented songwriter in his own right, should have shelves and shelves of awards, but just the way that the industry works, he he does not, but that's okay. 00:22:57.680 --> 00:23:07.039 He's he has a legacy of beautiful music that has really moved people in these book-like lyrics, and we've just become such great friends over the years. 00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:09.839 I love him and appreciate him so much. 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:11.839 We have similar senses of humor. 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:16.559 He's running the show at Wolf Island and he's playing with this band, and I'm just opening. 00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:20.400 So on a Wednesday, great crowd. 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:24.400 Lots of people come, beautiful night, the weather's incredible. 00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:32.480 And then I talked to Steven before the trip with Ali because Steven was going to the next place where I was playing in Uxbridge at this festival. 00:23:32.559 --> 00:23:38.240 He was also playing, and I thought, well, hey, maybe I could get a ride with him because I'm not driving right now. 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:40.400 Stephen was like, yeah, no problem. 00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:41.599 We can figure that out. 00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:42.880 We'll make it work. 00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:51.920 So I rode with Steven and his daughter, and we, you

know, we had a fun time. 00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:53.920 We just chatted. 00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:58.960 I I realize I have some control issues when I'm not driving. 00:23:59.119 --> 00:23:59.920 It's really bad. 00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:05.599 Not that I'm a backseat or a side seat driver, but in my head, I'm like analyzing what people are doing. 00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:06.559 It's bad, man. 00:24:06.799 --> 00:24:08.480 OCD is a bad thing. 00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:12.640 If you have it, I have sympathy and empathy for you. 00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:16.799 It's not fun sometimes to not be able to get out of your head. 00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:19.119 Anyway, Steven's a great driver. 00:24:19.440 --> 00:24:22.240 It was a really good trip up to Uxbridge. 00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:26.079 I mean, we had to make a stop so he could drop his daughter in Oshawa. 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:35.680 And then we just kept on rolling up to the fest, and we had some great chats and just sort of talked about music and our friends and different things going on. 00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.000 It's some real life situations that are hard and difficult. 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:41.519 And we Stephen and I can get deep like that, and it was great. 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:45.279 Um, and then got to Uxbridge. 00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:53.599 Steven's staying in this lovely air-conditioned trailer, which is not like it's not like a trailer trailer, like a trailer park trailer. 00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:55.680 This thing is like deluxe. 00:24:55.920 --> 00:25:06.799 Had a like a huge, pretty sizable sitting room, like a living room, with some great couches and spots to sit and hang and play music, and uh nice bedroom. 00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:16.480 So we we hung out in there for the afternoon, sort of playing some tunes, going through some songs, and then we took in the festival that night because neither one of us were playing. 00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:21.519 So our friend, our mutual friend Sajin, also a helper, is also playing. 00:25:21.599 --> 00:25:25.039 And Sajan's wife Shelly, also an incredible helper. 00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:27.599 Shelly stayed up till 4 a.m. 00:25:27.839 --> 00:25:31.039 making t-shirts for Sajin for this festival. 00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:34.000 I mean, is that true love or is that true love? 00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:34.960 Come on, folks. 00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:36.319 That's insane. 00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:38.960 So we're hanging with that. 00:25:39.039 --> 00:25:45.920 Steven and I are hanging with Sajan and with Shelly, and we're just talking and ended up being a really good night. 00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:47.119 Really, really fun night. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:50.079 Dan Mangan played that night to talk to him a little bit. 00:25:50.319 --> 00:25:56.960 Um, Sajan, who his musical group or thing is called Hollow Sage. 00:25:57.119 --> 00:26:01.119 And when he plays with a band, it's called Hollow Sage and the Three Mile Islanders. 00:26:01.759 --> 00:26:04.319 And yeah, they they were great. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:05.039 They crushed it. 00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:08.799 They opened up the night that night and all a great night. 00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:11.039 Just lovely jokes. 00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:19.680 Saw some of Sajin's friends who I've become friends with, and it's just like, man, this is this already, this trip of mine already has this great glow. 00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:20.799 How can it get better? 00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:26.799 Skip to the next day where I'm playing, and I think I'm playing at like 5 p.m. 00:26:27.119 --> 00:26:42.480 And then after me is like Todd and Robin, this great duo group from up near Huntsville, who have these amazing harmonies, and they're so talented, and they're a married couple, they're just frigging lovely A-list quality people. 00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:44.319 And they're up after me. 00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:52.000 And then after them is Piner from Kingston area, who her real name is Clea. 00:26:52.160 --> 00:27:01.279 She's an incredible songwriter, and uh and someone who's become a buddy when I see her, and and her parents come out to her shows, her parents come to my shows. 00:27:01.519 --> 00:27:07.599 Like there's this real community vibe happening at this festival, and it was just so great. 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:14.240 Then um Friday ends, and I'm really, you know, surmising, summarizing. 00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:17.759 Friday ends, what did we end up doing then? 00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:21.599 I think we had ended up going to an open mic and just sort of chilling. 00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:28.079 Or no, we were out, got back to Sajan's house, and he was like, We're gonna have a fire and invite everybody over. 00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:34.079 And these these friends, Derek and Joshua, who all played music at the festival, they were there. 00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:40.240 Um, they were gonna come to the fire, and then all these, you know, a few people were gonna come. 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:45.519 And Sajan and I got home from the festival that day because he kind of hung out for a while too. 00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:55.039 Um, he went into his bedroom because his son needed to go to bed and he crashed just out. 00:27:55.200 --> 00:28:00.240 And I was like, I was like, oh, I'm thankful that Sajan crashed because I could use little catnap before this fire. 00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:06.640 You know, it's like 11 or something, and I think Sajan's friend Matt was there and he was making this fire. 00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:09.039 He's like, Come on out, guys, whenever you're ready. 00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:10.400 I went to bed. 00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:13.759 I conked up for like an hour and a half. 00:28:13.920 --> 00:28:16.400 Get up, it's like, ooh, 12:30. 00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:17.759 It's like, what's going on? 00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:19.599 We put out the fire. 00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:22.799 No one came, it's drenched. 00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:25.680 It's like, oh, dang it. 00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:29.359

Anyway, just one of those funny things. 00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:34.160 And then Saturday, there was a workshop at the festival, which Steven was running. 00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:36.640 So I did that with Mia Kelly. 00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:38.160 Great, great songwriter. 00:28:38.240 --> 00:28:39.599 Holy cow! So talented. 00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:45.680 Don't know her that well, but it was really great to hear some of her songs up close and personal. 00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:47.200 That was really fun. 00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:49.359 And then I left that afternoon. 00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:53.440 The Sajan took me to Peterborough because I had to play in Peterborough. 00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:58.880 Play the show in Peterborough with Granya, who's a super talented songwriter at the Pig's ear. 00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:01.599 It's like this great Saturday night at the Pig's Ear. 00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:08.160 It's kind of half busy, like not insane, but there was ended up being a good crowd that sort of showed up and came in. 00:29:08.640 --> 00:29:12.160 And um I end up playing this thing called Peanut Race. 00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:13.839 Don't know if any of you have ever heard of it. 00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:18.960 I don't suggest doing it as an older person, but I just decided, what the fuck? 00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:20.240 I'm in Peterborough. 00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:24.960 These locals are sitting at this table who I don't know, and they're like, Maddie, come on over. 00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:26.240 You want to play peanut race? 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:27.200 Sure, what is it? 00:29:27.359 --> 00:29:32.240 And it's literally like you take they they fill this tray with small glasses of beer. 00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:35.920 Like, you know, not even a half pint, like less than that. 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:45.680 It's like uh, I don't know what it would be, maybe a quarter of a bottle or something like that, like in one glass, like it's not a lot. 00:29:46.079 --> 00:30:01.440 So um you take a peanut and everyone sits around the table, and one person goes, one, two, three, go, then you drop your peanut in the beer, and the person whose peanut comes up the slowest then has to chug the beer. 00:30:01.519 --> 00:30:04.480 You can either take the peanut out or leave it in, it doesn't matter. 00:30:04.799 --> 00:30:06.880 So a few rounds of that. 00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:09.119 I this is after I played, by the way. 00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:10.559 Had a great little set. 00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:14.960 Granny goes up with her band, they're sounding great, they're playing well. 00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:20.640 And then I I played peanut races with a few people that night, drinking 50. 00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:23.039 It's just it was just fun, you know. 00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:25.920 It's one of those nights where it's like, let's just, why not? 00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:27.359 What the fuck? 00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:29.839 You only live once, sure. 00:30:30.079 --> 00:30:38.240 I'll play this weird game where you put peanuts into a beer glass and then chug it and maybe eat the peanut while you're drinking beer or spit it out. 00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:39.359 It's up to you. 00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:41.839 I was like, all right, cool. 00:30:42.319 --> 00:30:45.759 So um, yeah, that was that was fun. 00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:47.920 Hung out with Granya for a while that night. 00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:49.680 We got a good chance to chat. 00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:51.359 Then at 8 a.m. 00:30:51.599 --> 00:31:06.799 the next day, after a short sleep in a hotel, which was lovely, by the way, to be in a hotel that night, Frank Yakabucci, who's a great Toronto human being and is involved in a lot of festivals and just really connected in the music world. 00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:13.759 He supports so many musicians, he supports so many festivals, he does, you know, worked on movie sets for a long time. 00:31:13.839 --> 00:31:20.480 We've just been friends for fuck well over a decade, like a long time, and always appreciate his honesty. 00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:28.240 Frank is nothing if not honest, and he's kind of like a little crusty at times, but his heart, you know, really shines through. 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:32.640 And uh, Jesus Christ, somebody dropped like scissors upstairs or something. 00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:43.039 Anyway, um, Frank really just picked me up in Peterborough and was like, Yeah, I can drive you to Ottawa. 00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:44.880 Unbelievable. 00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:47.119 I mean, that's a three-hour drive. 00:31:47.519 --> 00:32:01.759 And he just kind of showed up magically out of nowhere, and I was so thankful and we had a good chat, and he needed to go to Almont, which actually it's probably closer to two and a half from Peterborough. 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:08.720 But uh, he said, um we're getting close to Almont, and his car starts chugging. 00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:11.599 I'm like, oh, these error codes are coming up on the car. 00:32:11.759 --> 00:32:16.319 I'm texting Allie, my friend the mechanic, going, uh, we're almost in Almont. 00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:17.599 This car's doing this thing, anyways. 00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:20.960 He goes, I bet this is something I'm gonna turn it on and off, and it's gonna be fine. 00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:21.920 I've had this before. 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:24.960 Dude, magically was fine. 00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:29.680 Um, but yeah, error codes, man, those those freak me out. 00:32:29.920 --> 00:32:35.599 Got to Almont, played this and co-hosted this open mic with my friend Gillian. 00:32:35.759 --> 00:32:41.039 Gillian plays all the time with Allie McCormick, and um, Allie's an old, old friend. 00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:46.640 I've met Gillian through her, and Gillian is just a light, has some really beautiful songs. 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:50.880 She's starting to do this concert series at this church where she lives. 00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:52.960 Gillian's just the best. 00:32:53.279 -->

00:32:56.799 She's the best, and completely also a helper. 00:32:57.359 --> 00:33:11.759 So I capped off my week, and my friend Jenny came out, and there were just some great people that came that day, and it was and uh Jenny, my friend from um where does she live? 00:33:11.839 --> 00:33:15.200 Kind of like Wakefield area, she came to Almont and then drove me home from there. 00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:20.480 Just like, you know, another half hour, but it was like a beautiful thing, man. 00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:25.839 You know, like the fucking helpers are out there, friends. 00:33:26.079 --> 00:33:30.400 I I just had a trip where I experienced several every day. 00:33:30.559 --> 00:33:44.000 By the way, and I didn't mention this, Sajan took me to Peterborough after I did that workshop at the festival with Mia Kelly, and we we chatted two just about our friendship, and it really gave me a chance to. 00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:59.519 I think I'm used to like these solo drives in the car, you know, which I love, and I do enjoy that space, but this this time right now is like I'm really being forced to be around people, and I have a strong introvert side sometimes. 00:33:59.680 --> 00:34:09.840 I'm a split down the middle, introvert, extrovert, but I've been really feeding my extrovert side in this time, and I gotta say, I've really enjoyed it. 00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:25.119 It's really uh I think it's you know awakened some things in me and that's it's made me realize that um we need each other, man. 00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:27.920 We people really need each other. 00:34:28.079 --> 00:34:39.679 We live in a current era where everything is so isolating, everything is so you can feel so on your own, like you're just white knuckling it, doing it all yourself. 00:34:39.920 --> 00:34:52.559 But friends, there are people around who love you, who want to help, but it just also takes you to reach out because no one's gonna magically predict what you need. 00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:55.840 No one's gonna step into your head and go, Hey, do you need this? 00:34:56.239 --> 00:34:57.199 when you're thinking it. 00:34:57.360 --> 00:35:05.440 You have to vocalize it, you've got to step out and ask, and you'll be surprised. 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:10.559 Sorry, I got a little emotional there, but um it was nice. 00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:31.920 And honestly, this person reached out online, um, who seems like a lovely human being who runs a grief counseling practice and said she would love to give me a few grief counseling sessions for free because she read about what you know what I've been thinking about and dealing about with Chris. 00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:35.119 And I mean, fuck man, another helper. 00:35:35.360 --> 00:35:36.480 You know what I mean? 00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:47.519 Like, folks, this the title of this episode is gonna be keep on looking for the helpers because they're there, okay? 00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:50.719 Just keep on looking for the helpers, not because they're there. 00:35:51.599 --> 00:35:52.880 So don't stop. 00:35:53.519 --> 00:35:56.559 The helpers are there, we need each other, you know. 00:35:56.639 --> 00:36:07.840 We need solace and we need all that too, and I get it, I'm an introvert, I can get weird, and I need my head space, and you can still find that, but you don't have to do it all alone, okay? 00:36:09.039 --> 00:36:12.320 And it's gonna get better, whatever you're going through, I promise. 00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:14.320 And uh just know that I'm here. 00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:15.119 I love you. 00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:19.119 You can email me anytime at GravenCanada at gmail.com. 00:36:19.519 --> 00:36:20.880 I love you all so much. 00:36:21.039 --> 00:36:22.400 Thanks for listening. 00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:24.239 We'll be in touch real soon. 00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:27.280 Have yourselves a Graven Town Day. 00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:27.920 Love you.