TRANSCRIPT 🔗
00:00:05
Speaker 1: All right, let me talk about talk.
00:00:13
Speaker 2: Here we go.
00:00:14
Speaker 3: My rapping is really bad.
00:00:18
Speaker 1: This life as a gringo. Yes, hello and welcome to another episode of Life as a Gringo.
00:00:25
Speaker 3: I am Dramos, of course. And man, amazing guest on today's show. I'm very excited to bring you. He's got a really dope documentary called Choir. Rudy Valdez, an amazing filmmaker. He's got a bunch of different projects we're actually going to get into. Just a really dope body of work. He is somebody who has made a career of telling our stories and really just one of those people that puts their all into their art and I think has an amazing story when it comes to not giving up on their dream and really putting years, literally years and years and years into creating creating a idea from nothing, essentially, right?
00:01:07
Speaker 1: I'm being kind of vague because I don't want to ruin the story.
00:01:09
Speaker 3: But basically, Rudy's first big break was a documentary about his family. And literally, this was a passion project for years and years and years until it saw the light of day and became the thing that sort of began his career as a filmmaker. And I just am always in awe of people who have that kind of dedication and tenacity to making their visions come to life. You know, I think for me, it's a soft spot because so much of what I've been able to accomplish thus far has been just through sheer dedication and not giving up. You know, it's been a really long journey. Nothing has really come easy at all. It's been incredibly difficult and I've had to keep the faith. And I think whenever I hear people who have a similar story or know what it's like to sort of just keep their head down and think about the bigger picture and, and, you know, not give up essentially. Um, and then it pays off. That's always incredibly inspiring to me. So I really resonated with, uh, with, with Rudy's story and just the work that he's doing. I think it's amazing. So excited to have him on the show. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm, I am, I think I, I'm making.
00:02:18
Speaker 1: It a habit of saying this on every episode where I'm like, I'm recovering. I'm feeling a little run down right now, but I think, uh, maybe I've just been, have I been going too hard? I don't know.
00:02:27
Speaker 3: I got to ask the people close to me. I am a little bit run down because I had a party over the weekend. I have a party called Con Fuego, which we did before the pandemic. It was like a monthly DJ party, like me and a bunch of my DJ friends. And we would just get together and like play all the music that we love, like a lot of like Latin music and hip hop and Caribbean music and just global music, stuff that we can't really get away with in normal club settings for too long. We just make a night out of it. A lot of Jersey club as well. It's just like stuff we all really enjoy doing. And we play, you know, we all go kind of back and forth playing quick sets and just hang out with one another and, Um, it's just good for my soul.
00:03:04
Speaker 1: It makes me feel like a little kid again.
00:03:05
Speaker 3: It's like, it's like the equivalent for me of when you would go like to your friend's house to play video games or whatever. Like, that's what it feels like. It's not even about money. We're not, you know, it's like a passion project. So it was cool to do that for the first time in four years together and get everybody, you know, under the same, same roof. And, uh, we had an amazing turnout, so it was just a great, a great weekend. Um, but I'm definitely feeling it. I'm definitely not recovering as quickly as I did four years ago.
00:03:31
Speaker 1: Where, yeah, I could take.
00:03:33
Speaker 3: A night out like that and not really think much about it, especially it was on.
00:03:38
Speaker 1: We did it on a Sunday.
00:03:39
Speaker 3: So it just makes like getting into the week that much more difficult. So, yeah, I'm still recovering a bit, but we out here. And man, I'm just excited to be just getting to do this podcast. I'm rambling a little bit right now because I sat down.
00:03:56
Speaker 1: I just want to share something. We'll get into the interview with Rudy.
00:03:59
Speaker 3: But I sat down in this chair, you know, and I'm adjusting the microphone before I hit record. And it was just like this wave of just like, ah, it came over me, if that makes sense. Like this just relief, this just happiness to be here, this gratitude that I get to be here doing this. And I just wanted to share, you know, that that's what I'm feeling right now. it's not lost on me how amazing it is that I get to do this, but also I think I'm forever wowed by the fact that this is such a, like.
00:04:37
Speaker 1: Just release for me. It's a spiritual thing.
00:04:39
Speaker 3: It's, it's like, you know, writing in my diary or my journal or going to therapy or something.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: I don't know how to describe it, but like, you know, I was just feeling off today.
00:04:49
Speaker 3: Just, I was like exhausted and I'm like beating myself up a little bit because I'm like, man, like, you know, it's great to have fun and do these parties, but like, you know, is it worth it if it, if you're going to be, you know, not operating, you know, uh, as your best self for the first couple of days of the week, cause you're still recovering. And, you know, I, I was kind of beating myself up about that a little bit of, of like kind of allowing myself to be a little bit less disciplined, if you will. Um, but I am, you know, a let myself hold the hook, but B when I sat down in this chair, the point I'm trying to get at is when I sat down in this chair, it's like, get ready to record. It was like, I feel good. Like just good energy, good waves just washed over me. So I'm just, I'm just grateful for that. And just wanted to share that. And I'm just so thankful that I get to do this. And yeah,
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I think when you find something like that makes you feel that way when you get, when you sit there and do it, especially when you're like, oh, I don't want to do anything right now.
00:05:43
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I'm in a funky mood. I'm procrastinating. I feel like doing this. Like I was doing that all day today. And I just sat in this chair and I was like, no, I feel great. This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
00:05:53
Speaker 3: So, yeah, even if you're not getting paid for it, this is just like it's a gift to find something that provides you that sense of relief. So just want to share that moment of gratitude I'm having right now as we record this episode. With that said, now let's get into this conversation with with an amazing filmmaker, Rudy Valdez. I'm really excited to bring you his whole story and all the projects he's working on. I think it's just incredible, incredible stuff. So without further ado, we would do that. Also, no asking getting over today's segment. Didn't have a question that made sense. And I want to try to keep the episodes under an hour if I can. I feel like we're running a little bit long in this season, so I'm trying to adjust accordingly. But now with that said, let's get to my.
00:06:29
Speaker 1: Conversation with Rudy Valdez as a part of our Mi Gente segment. Mi Gente.
00:06:34
Speaker 3: Mi Gente.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: My guest today is.
00:06:42
Speaker 4: A two-time Emmy Award-making filmmaker over here. He has a new docuseries called Choir that is now available on Disney +.
00:06:53
Speaker 1: And he's just a.
00:06:54
Speaker 3: Man of the culture, a man of the people, which we're going to get into. Man, Rudy Valdez, how you feeling, my bro?
00:07:00
Speaker 2: I'm feeling good. I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me.
00:07:03
Speaker 1: Of course, brother.
00:07:04
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm really excited to get to have a conversation with you today because... There's obviously so much talk in general about representation, right? And for me personally, it feels like it's been such a damn struggle to learn about Latin history and to hear about our stories. And a lot of that is because of the lack of representation, the lack of projects that exist within media and getting backed in the world of entertainment, right? And there's a lot of conversations happening right now in the world of entertainment, talking about sort of that lack of inclusion and diversity, right? And you're somebody who has taken the hard path and decided that even with all of that against you, you're going to basically make it your main focus to tell our stories or tell culturally relevant stories that are not necessarily going to be the sexiest topics.
00:07:58
Speaker 1: For a mainstream, but you know, are incredibly important to be represented.
00:08:01
Speaker 3: So I love to kind of just start there and, and talk a bit about, you know, what was your, your mindset, whether this was learned, whether it was from the start, when you got into filmmaking, I'd love to just kind of know your own rationale behind this incredibly difficult path that you've taken towards really making sure that you're speaking to your community when you tell these stories and when you make a film and a docuseries.
00:08:26
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, it's a, that's a great question. And it's a, sort of long, complicated answer for me, you know, as a, as a Mexican American sort of growing up, uh, born and raised in, in Michigan, in the middle West, you know, it's not that typical story that you hear when you look out into the media landscape and you, you, uh, think, oh, here's a Mexican, uh, American, you, you never think Michigan, you know, you never think, you know, so Midwest, you know, so I think, you know, but growing up, my, my parents were, you know, Before I was born, they were migrant field workers, and my older siblings were all migrant field workers, and they sort of stopped around the time that I was born because my parents wanted me to have a different path as far as education goes and things like that. But one of the things that they did do was my dad always had a dream of having a little grocery store, and that little grocery store ended up being sort of a Mexican hub in our community where we sold everything from barbacoa, homemade tortillas, to La India Maria, VHS tapes to Vicente Fernandez and Julio Iglesias and Selena, like all those things. So it was a place where people could come speak English, speak Spanish, find things that spoke to them and, you know, down to the candles that are next to you. I mean, we used to sell those as well. I used to stock those on the, so, you know, culture was always a part of where I grew up and, or at least my surroundings from my family. However, where I grew up, I always had this sort of middle ground that I had to play because I you know, I was never sort of brown enough for the brown people in my community. I was never white enough for the white people in my community. So I, always played this sort of middle ground my entire life. And I think that that had a big impact on me and who I eventually became as a storyteller. You know, before I was a filmmaker, I was an actor and a writer and a comedian. And I felt like immediately going into that world, people want to put you in a box. They want to say, oh, you're brown. you're this, then you play this, or you're this and you're going to be this. And I was always like, no, I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of where I come from, but I never wanted anything to ever stop me from doing anything. And so that was sort of when I decided to become a filmmaker, when I was able to become a filmmaker, I wanted to be very proud of where I'm from, be proud of my experiences, but never let it box me into the kind of stories that I could tell.
00:10:45
Speaker 1: Sure, sure.
00:10:46
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:10:46
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm resonating a lot with with, you know, your your story.
00:10:50
Speaker 3:
I mean, obviously, it's like the premise of this show is really those of us who kind of felt othered even within our own community, you know?
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:10:59
Speaker 3: And and it's interesting because I what's resonating specifically for me is I grew up with, you know, like the mayor of proud Puerto Ricans and my father, right? Like he was that guy, you know, always instilled a passion and a love for me. But because I didn't fit into the stereotype of what white kids thought of Puerto Ricans or even honestly, what other Puerto Ricans thought Puerto Ricans should sound like, look like, dress like or, you know, have interest in. I sort of had wasn't accepted fully by either side almost.
00:11:27
Speaker 2: Right.
00:11:27
Speaker 3: And it was this weird frustration that would happen because they would call me things like a fake Puerto Rican or whatever it might be.
00:11:33
Speaker 2: Right.
00:11:34
Speaker 3: And in my mind, in my heart, I knew that we weren't just this monolith right where, you know, for them, they're picturing, you know, from the Bronx or something like that, right? Like that sort of idealism, right? Very much tied to like hip hop culture for many of us who grew up in that area. And I knew when I would go back to Puerto Rico, you know, we were a very diverse group of people that had, you know, diverse, you know, levels of interest, but it was frustrating because it was like, nobody cared to kind of listen to that. And I'm sure for you, your parents have this sort of community pillar in the grocery store, right? Where it's very much so tied into your culture, tied into your community. You guys are actively working uh, supplying your community sort of with the comforts of, of, of home. Um, I'm sure for you, there was also, there was frustrations in people sort of questioning your, your authenticity as well, knowing just like how tied to it you were.
00:12:21
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I, you know, sadly enough, still get that quite a bit to this day, you know, and I think, um, you know, I, I won't say that I'm not completely at fault, uh, there because, you know, I think as a, you know, when my first film came out, uh, called the sentence in 2018, it was, um, It was about my family, a Mexican-American family. But I was very cautious about leading with that. To me, I was like, listen, here's the representation. It's my family. I'm telling my family story. I don't need to prove how brown we are, how Mexican we are, how anything we are. What I wanted to prove within that film, because it was a film that was about mandatory minimum sentencing and the larger criminal justice system as a whole in our country, you know, I wanted us to not be like, here is a token Mexican family dealing with this issue. I wanted it to be like, here is a Brown family who is a part of the fabric of the community, part of the fabric of this country. I wanted you to see us as Americans, as people who are here and not, I didn't want to continue to otherize us and faction us off into a certain group or demographic that is dealing with this because it is something that we are dealing with as a country and we are a part of that. And so, by doing that, um, you know, and by continuing to not necessarily at the beginning of my career, do Mexican or Mexican American centric stories right away, which was on purpose, not that I don't want to do them, but I wanted to show that I could tell any kind of story so that I could never be boxed in. I never wanted to be like, okay, he's, you know, I'm proud to be Mexican. I'm proud to be a filmmaker, but I, I, I sometimes, um, don't want that moniker of like Mexican filmmaker or Mexican American filmmaker, because I feel like that is very limiting. And if I'm a fabric of this country, if I'm part of this country and I truly am a citizen of this country, I should be able to tell a myriad of stories because we are a very nuanced culture. We are a very nuanced people and I want to be able to tell all of those things. And so I may have separated myself a little bit at the beginning because I didn't want to be boxed in, But at my heart, I'm extremely proud of who I am and where I come from. And I just want to be able to tell as many stories as I can.
00:14:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's interesting because I definitely separated myself a bit as well. And I struggle with that where there's bits of like, I don't know if it's shame, but it's also like, man, I wish I would have sort of come to this place of feeling comfort in my authenticity a lot earlier in life, you know?
00:14:57
Speaker 1: But also....
00:14:59
Speaker 3: I think it's like this burden that we often bear as well. Right.
00:15:03
Speaker 1: Because it's like, you know, we could stay in your world. You know, somebody like like Robert De Niro is just recognized as this amazing actor.
00:15:10
Speaker 2: Right.
00:15:10
Speaker 3: And he's done a lot of the sort of, quote unquote, stereotypical Italian-American stories. And we love him and know him for that. But we don't box him in as like, oh, Robert De Niro can only do a mafia movie.
00:15:21
Speaker 2: Right.
00:15:22
Speaker 3: And and for us, it's like we almost have to shun or sort of put to the side our authentic self in order to prove this thing that not everybody else does?
00:15:32
Speaker 1: And it's this burden of like, where do you fall in line with that?
00:15:35
Speaker 2: Right?
00:15:35
Speaker 3: Do you, you know, completely sort of alienate your culture and just to prove this point that you could do anything? Or do you, you know, sort of be okay with just having to be in this box, even though you know, you're capable of so much more, right? And it's just a weird and complicated line to walk not only career wise, but I think just like existentially as.
00:15:54
Speaker 1: A human being.
00:15:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, agreed, like full agree. And I think that both things come with their own sort of weight, you
know, you know, no matter which way you, you do that, you know, I certainly feel, and I think John Leguizamo was talking about this recently about, you know, when we break out of that box and we try to do these things outside of, of the box that people see us in, we don't always get that chance to fail, you know? So, so it's like, we don't get, we don't, what does he say? We don't get our Ishtar. We don't get our ability to go out and flop and then come back and do something else. It's like, we failed and it's like, okay, well we gave that guy a chance or we gave that person a chance and well, they couldn't do it. And so we get pushed aside oftentimes. And so in the back of my mind, I'm like, okay, by, by taking these risks, I'm really risking, you know, if I have one thing that goes terribly wrong, that could be it for me. And that, and so that's a, that's a risk that I have to take by, by diving into the sort of larger pond of, you know, thinking outside of the box sometimes.
00:16:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, of course.
00:16:53
Speaker 3: I mean, and, and, The irony is like culturally aside, even just the career path you've chosen in general is outside the box.
00:17:00
Speaker 2: Right.
00:17:00
Speaker 3: So it's like there's already pressure that comes along with that, regardless of who you are, where you come from. There's a risk you're taking. You don't get many opportunities. There are plenty of people who want to do what you do, but sadly will never get the opportunity to actually make it their career.
00:17:13
Speaker 2: Right.
00:17:13
Speaker 3: So there is it's a complicated sort of dialogue that happens internally there. when you're chasing after this dream, that's already incredibly difficult. And then you have all these nuances of trying to stay true to yourself, but also like, you know, as dirty as we all, we have to play the game to a degree, right? It's like, you know, to a degree you have to play by the rules that are set until you're the person in the position to change the rules.
00:17:37
Speaker 2: Right.
00:17:37
Speaker 3: But until that point, you know, you do kind of have to play the game a little bit.
00:17:42
Speaker 1: And I love to, pick your brain a little bit about that, right?
00:17:45
Speaker 3: Because you're creating films and obviously you don't want them to just be something that sits on your hard drive, rotting away somewhere, right? You want them to be seen by as many people as possible and to impact as many people as possible, right? And you're partnering with people like HBOs or the Disney Pluses of the world, right? And within that, you then have to go sit in an office or a room somewhere and convince somebody who has no idea about your culture or the story that you're telling and tell them why this is worth them investing their money and time and resources into, even though maybe it doesn't personally impact them whatsoever.
00:18:19
Speaker 2: Right.
00:18:19
Speaker 3: So I'm curious then when you get put in those rooms, how are you kind of walking that that line? And, you know, even just inside baseball for anybody who doesn't necessarily get just how difficult it is to bring these sort of projects to life and actually have them go across the finish line.
00:18:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I wish that there was a magic answer to that, to be like, here's how you pitch and here's how you get it done. Because there's not. Because like anything, especially in the entertainment industry, you're going to hear way more nosy than you're going to hear yes. And I think that for me, anytime I go into any of these rooms or I'm pitching a project, the most important thing for me off the bat, because it's not a battle that I want to have later on, is I like to wear my heart on my sleeve and tell you exactly what the vision is, exactly why I'm the person that should be telling it, exactly why this is a story that should be told, and get them excited about this idea that, listen, they get to tell something from a perspective that maybe they haven't heard before, something that's new and fresh, inherently innovative because it's coming from a filtration system, a director that you've never heard from before. And that usually gets people excited because they want to be on the cutting edge of those things. And, you know, the fact of the matter is, you know, our stories are important and they're entertaining and they're hopeful and they're all of those things, you know, and you find the right executives. And I've been very, very fortunate to find some really amazing executives at at a lot of these places at HBO, at ESPN, at Disney, you know, there are people there, especially as this, as we start to grow in this industry, one of the most amazing things that I'm finding, especially over the last few years is, you know, going into a room where you're pitching something, And you're starting to see a lot more people who look like us in those rooms. And I think inherently, that means people are going to start getting and understanding the different versions of what it means to be a storyteller and a story buyer and a story curator. So in some ways, I have it a little bit easier than people were trying to do this, you know, even five, 10 years ago. Because these rooms are changing. And I think that that is a big reason why people like me have been fortunate enough to work and stay in this industry.
00:20:39
Speaker 1: I love that.
00:20:40
Speaker 3: That gives me some hope to hear something like that. You know, that it is changing.
00:20:45
Speaker 1: It is getting better.
00:20:45
Speaker 3: It is, you know, getting diverse in those rooms. I'm loving this conversation with Rudy. We're going to take a pause here. We'll take a quick break and then we'll be right back. All right, we are back. Now, I'd also be curious, though, I mean, because when you're a creative individual, and you're pitching a project, it's more than just a project, right?
00:21:06
Speaker 1: It's
really an extension of yourself, right? And it's hard.
00:21:11
Speaker 3: And to your point, you are going to hear more no's than yeses. But it's hard to not take those no's personally, right? Because again, it's like, it's you, right? This is your baby you spent all this time on. It is this sort of the story that you've crafted or that you're seeing through your lens, right? Or you've edited, you've done all these different things and really it's an extension of yourself. What is sort of your tactic to bounce back from some of these no's and not take it personally, not let it sort of deter you from your grander vision of bringing this project to life, bringing your ideas to life?
00:21:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great question. It's something that I try to tell people who are trying to break into this industry in a lot of different ways. So one of the things that I'm very fortunate about with myself and sort of my personality is that I am always working on multiple, multiple, multiple things. I'm shooting this, I'm writing this, I'm editing this, I'm pitching this, I'm doing all these different things. And so a no to me never means no. It means not right now or not this place. And I learned something from a friend of mine who, he was an actor when I was acting a while ago and he has since like done really, really well. He's super famous, all this stuff. But early on, I used to see him And, you know, I'd be going out for stuff and he'd be going out for stuff and I'd say, oh, how did that audition go? And he's like, which audition? And I would say, you know, the one about X, Y, and Z. And he would say, oh, well, I don't even know because he didn't sit back and go and audition for one thing and then sit back and say, this is my only thing. And I'm going to wait and see if I get this. He was like, no, no, no. You audition, you're onto the next, you're onto the next, you're onto the next, you're onto the next. You keep pushing that because if you sit back and you wait for this one thing, you're going to spend a lot of time in anguish, waiting for that answer. And a lot of time upset because you're putting all your eggs in that basket. So I'm constantly writing. I'm constantly coming up with new things. I'm constantly pushing. And sometimes luckily, you know, you, you, you pitch enough things, you talk to enough people. you get enough no's, every now and then somebody's like, oh, remember that thing you pitched us a year ago? How was that doing? Sometimes they come back because a no doesn't mean that it's not good. It means that maybe it wasn't in the zeitgeist or it wasn't something that they wanted at that time. But they keep seeing your face. They keep seeing your work. They keep seeing. And then they start to see potential and even ideas you've had in the past. And so you just keep working. You keep pitching and you keep working and you keep moving forward. Because if you have that one thing, and I get that. I get having that one thing that you're very passionate about. But if you're a storyteller, you want to continue to tell stories. So have those things you're passionate about. Be passionate about everything. But keep innovating. Keep having new ideas and keep being a storyteller. And, you know, eventually things start to work out.
00:24:03
Speaker 1: No, I absolutely love that perspective. It's like, don't allow yourself to fall in love with every idea as if it's your last idea, your last opportunity, right?
00:24:11
Speaker 2: Right.
00:24:12
Speaker 3: And I want to backtrack a little bit because, you know, you mentioned, you know, kind of like your first big project as like a storyteller, The Sentence, right? And that's about, you know, a very personal story about your sister. And I want to know even prior to all that, like your family's sort of reaction to you wanting to be an actor than a filmmaker and all these different things, right?
00:24:31
Speaker 1: Because... you know, there is a lot of immigrant guilt, right? That happens for a lot of families that really busted their ass to come over here.
00:24:39
Speaker 3: And you talk about, you know, the struggle that your parents sort of had the very common tale of working out there in the fields. And that was sort of the means to, you know, getting by and building a life. And then eventually, you know, they were fortunate to get out of that and become business owners. But I think a lot of the narrative that gets pushed upon the next generation is sort of a guilt of, but also fear of you taking a non-traditional path and sort of all of the sacrifice they made sort of being erased and being irrelevant at that point. So I am curious sort of what your family dynamic was in regards to their support or lack thereof of your creativity and your wanting to work within the entertainment industry.
00:25:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it was interesting because, you know, my parents and my father, I think, with a fourth grade education and my mom with a third grade education at the time, you know, he went on to have a store and a restaurant and he, you know, he's still working to this day. Um, and my mom went on to have a 27 year career as a teacher, you know, going to night school, figuring things out. And she's still teaching today. She teaches, you know, a headstart. And so they, you know, they did a lot with sort of what the cards they had dealt with them. And so I feel like there were a lot of expectations on me, um, early on and I did my best, but to be completely honest, I did not excel in school, in middle school and high school actually did very, very poorly. And, And it was a it was a cause of a lot of angst in my family because, you know, they never said it to me. But I always had this impression that, look, they sacrificed a lot to give me an opportunity. And I tried hard, but I just could never get things going. And then one day I fell into theater by complete accident. I was forced to take a theater class and a light bulb
sort of went off in my head that I've been told I was dumb. for many, many years in middle school and high school by counselors, by teachers, by, you know, I was put on this track and I realized, you know, I'm not dumb. My brain just maybe thinks a little bit differently. And when I found theater, a switch kind of went off. And I think that both of my parents saw this little switch go off in my head. And they were like, here's happiness. Here's joy. Here's motivation. And they were like, pursue that. Go. Go and be happy. And so I, by a miracle, through acting, got into a community college. And through acting, got from a community college into Michigan State University, a four-year university, all because I was an actor. And then before I even graduated college, I had this sort of bursting happening. I needed to go. And I was like, I'm leaving. And I went to New York before I graduated college. And I thought that my parents were going to be like, you need to finish college. You have to have a backup plan. You have to do all these things. and they were like, go, go be happy, go, go, go do what is motivating you to go to, to, to see the world. Because I think that was another thing that really, um, made my parents happy was that I, I wanted to go out and see the world. I wanted to go out and see everything. And, you know, I didn't become a filmmaker for, for a few years later until a few years later. And when that started to happen, you know, I, I'd sort of, settled into a bit of a career. I was actually teaching at the time in New York City and doing all these other things and writing. And I had a play that traveled the country. And then I was like, I'm giving everything up and I'm going to figure out how to become a filmmaker. And I think that they just saw the look in my eyes and they were like, okay. And so at 28, I went from building a career, a budding career to unpaid intern and figuring out how to scrap the rent together and But I was like, I need to figure this out. But they saw joy. They saw happiness. They saw the fact that I was willing to grind and put in the work. And they never questioned me about any of that. They were like, go and do the thing that makes you happy. So I was very, very fortunate in that sense.
00:28:35
Speaker 1: Wow, man, shout out to your parents. That is fucking awesome. I think that, you.
00:28:38
Speaker 3: Know, that is so huge because I think, you know, and it's obviously everybody's doing their best. Most of, you know, parents who aren't necessarily supportive of like, their kids' creativity, they just don't get it, right?
00:28:48
Speaker 1: They're not trying to do it from a place of maliciousness or anything like that.
00:28:53
Speaker 3: But we've also been bought and sold kind of this idea of the path that it takes to be successful in this country.
00:28:58
Speaker 1: It goes through school, college, white picket fence, blah, blah, blah, right?
00:29:02
Speaker 3: And I think the problem with school is that it is this standardized system.
00:29:07
Speaker 1: So it's one size fits all standardized system. And Anybody who doesn't.
00:29:11
Speaker 3: Sort of fit neatly into that box is viewed as dumb as you're talking about, or there's something wrong with them.
00:29:17
Speaker 1: They're a weirdo.
00:29:18
Speaker 3: They don't, you know, whatever it might be. And rather than sort of trying to figure out a way to see what works for them, right? We sort of just throw kids away, unfortunately, usually, right? And you're lucky that you found theater and fell into that. And I think, again, salute to your parents for recognizing, like, there's something special happening here. And maybe if we, even though we don't understand it fully, it's not our thing. we understand there's also something like otherworldly about the fact that he's so incredibly passionate about this and it's speaking to him in that way and I think that is sort of huge that they were just sort of allowed you to do your own thing and saw that fire at the end of the day right because I'm a firm believer that if you found something that really lights that fucking fire underneath you, you're going to figure out a way to make it work. Maybe it won't be exactly according to your plan, right? And for everybody, there's going to be varying levels of success. At the end of the day, there are certain variables, but you're going to find some sort of way to make it work in some capacity, right? Something related to it, whatever it might be, if you're truly that passionate or that dedicated towards putting in the work. And I think that's sort of a testament to what you just said and And your story, I just think that's fucking awesome.
00:30:27
Speaker 1: I'm pumped up hearing that.
00:30:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. And I think, you know, one of the things that my parents always gave me was sort of perspective. You know, this idea of like what success means and how you measure success. You know, I think that many years ago, a few years ago, after I'd been fortunate enough to win a couple of big awards, you know, there were people who were like, oh, what's it like to like finally, you know, have this level of success or this measure of success? I never knew how to answer that because, you know, when I, again, quit everything and I had a budding little career going on, uh, and quit everything to, to, to pursue filmmaking. I remember my mom never saying, don't do it. She said, what you need to understand is, and she knows nothing about the entertainment industry, but she gave me this perspective. She said, what you need to understand is success is relative. She said, set a goal for yourself. What is the goal for yourself that, that makes you successful to yourself? And I said, yeah, Mom, if I can do this, if I can be a filmmaker and make as much money as I'm making right now, I'll be successful. And everything after that is gravy. And she said, then that's your goal. Then that's how you measure
success for yourself. And so when people would say that, I'd never really wanted to be like, well, actually, success is. But in my mind, I was like, listen, nine years ago, I was able to make the same amount of money that I was making, teaching after school programs and doing all these things. and making a living. I was able to do that in nine years. I was a success back then. It's all about how you think about it. And so I was always grateful for that because I see people who work in this industry and in the entertainment industry as a whole, and all they're doing is trying to figure out how much money, how many things, how much stuff they can gather. And so I feel like they're never going to be happy because they're never going to understand that sometimes you need to stop and take stock in the fact that you're doing something that you love for a living. You're able to pay your bills. Like I have two young daughters. I'm able to, you know, have a wife and kids and I get to do this and this is my life. And I understand that I'm extremely fortunate and I never take that for granted. And so I think that's one of the great things that my parents really helped me with. It's just that perspective of owning that for yourself and not letting outside people put that value on you.
00:32:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, man. And that's that's the tough thing.
00:32:53
Speaker 2: Right.
00:32:53
Speaker 3: Because, you know, as people who are creative and really making things happen, you are obviously like a high achiever. You set grandiose goals and you have a vision for like I can I'm capable of doing big things and I want to try to do bigger and bigger things.
00:33:06
Speaker 2: Right.
00:33:07
Speaker 3: But on the flip side of it, you can become obsessed with bigger and bigger and bigger. And then you're sort of bypassing all of the moments along the way that are still amazing.
00:33:16
Speaker 2: Right.
00:33:16
Speaker 3: Like, like even, you know, and I struggle with that personally, to be honest with you, you know, I, I have so many ideas and things that I want to do that at times I, I have to really stop and remind myself of like, you're living the dream right now. Like, you know, you woke up when you wanted to today, you're working on things that you're passionate about. Like nobody's, you know, breathing down your neck about some fucking report they want on the desk.
00:33:39
Speaker 1: By this time.
00:33:39
Speaker 2: Right.
00:33:40
Speaker 1: Like, And, and, and like, I'm, I'm good. And I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, able to pay the bills and not, not worry about it, you know?
00:33:46
Speaker 3: And, and, you know, that is like the sort of balance that I've been trying to find because, you know, to your point, you can get into this sort of, um, place where it's a cycle of.
00:33:57
Speaker 1: Always wanting more and more and more.
00:33:59
Speaker 3: And then that the happiness is always just on the other side of the next accomplishment. Right. And never actually get to feel it because you're, you're not, um, you know, you're, you're sort of living by this. standard that really doesn't exist right because there's always going to be to your point about outside um people kind of you know looking in or whatever somebody's always going to have more money than you they're always going to have more success you know more credibility or there's going to be somebody who's never heard of you that then your ego is hurt by that type of thing they've never seen your project and you can be like oh now i'm going to make the project that this person can't you know help but stumble upon right yeah and you really have to be intentional about You know, finding somehow some way to have that balance of being motivated, understanding, you know, you want to live up to your greatest potential, but also recognizing that, you know, right now is OK. And that that's incredibly difficult to what it's almost it's a contradiction almost.
00:34:53
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I will say another another wonderful thing that I've had in my life, aside from my wife and kids. who've always kept me very humble in every aspect of this. But one of my closest friends, that person who I talked about earlier, who was an actor and has become very successful. You know, one of the things that we have always done because we knew each other way back when we were just like just making the rent by $ 10. You know, it was like barely there. And I remember he once went to go and get a side job because he just wasn't able to get enough work at a bakery and he didn't get the job And I remember running into him on the street and it was kind of a sad moment because he really needed that job. But then a few months later, he ended up getting this huge acting gig and everything sort of took off for him. But every time he gets a big role right now, I call him and I'm like, remember, remember when you didn't get that job? We keep reminding each other of our sort of biggest mistakes and our biggest failures because it's like, listen, it can all be taken away at any time. like don't go getting a big head about who you are. Like, you know, just remember you're still that shithead that lived in, you know, in, in this, you know, tiny apartment and we're trying to, so, you know, never forget that. And we, we always have this, any, we know that the call is coming when something is announced or like a project is announced. I was like, Oh, I know who's calling me right now to be like, Hey, don't, don't let this go. It can be taken away at any time. So, um, you know, just, just always remembering that, you know, there are a million people who want to be able to do this. And there are a million people who are capable of doing this. So we're always very fortunate to be able to, to, to tell stories for a living.
00:36:31
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, that's, that's beautiful to have somebody in your life that can kind of be that for you, you know, and, and keep you
grounded. And I want to get into obviously your, your projects and a lot of the work that you've done.
00:36:41
Speaker 1: I am really curious.
00:36:42
Speaker 3: So about this, that one particular time period of yours, though, when you say you're like 28 ish years old, right.
00:36:47
Speaker 1: And you're just kind of like, fuck it.
00:36:49
Speaker 3: I'm going to just start all over and, try to just become a filmmaker at this point, right? I'm curious what was going on in your mind and your spirit and your heart during that time period that, you know, sort of made you take the drastic step to really just start completely over, especially at a point, those are the years where like you're watching your friends get married, right? And you're watching people get real jobs or buying houses and things like that at that time. And you're deciding, I'm probably just going to start over and take another crazy path on this dream of mine.
00:37:19
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, what's interesting is I, I'm very, very fortunate, maybe not fortunate, but I'll say fortunate in the, in the idea that I actually have the moment that I became a filmmaker on camera. Like I'm literally holding a camera because, you know, my sister was found guilty of a first time nonviolent, violent offense and got a 15 year federal prison sentence. And I remember the day after she went away, I went to her house and I picked up a camera and I was filming with her kids because not for any reason. I wasn't a filmmaker then. I had no aspirations of becoming a filmmaker. I just wanted to try and capture moments so that one day when she got out, I would be able to show her kids growing up. I just wanted her to be able to see that. And so I flew back to New York. I was living in New York at the time. And then a few months later, I flew back because their older daughter was having a dance recital and I wanted to go there and film that for her. I wanted her to have that one day when she came home. And I'm filming her daughter get ready. And she calls, my sister calls completely organically, completely unexpected. And my sister says to her daughter, do you know what mommy's going to do when you go to dance? I'm going to lay down on my bed. I'm going to close my eyes and I'm going to think about you. And in that moment, watching the reaction of her then five and five-year-old daughter, I thought to myself like something, it literally was like a lightning bolt. It said, Rudy, you have an opportunity to tell a story that people don't always get to see. The ramifications of the children left behind due to these mandatory minimums. It literally all came to me at that point. And I said, I have to learn how to do this. And so from that moment on, I was like, I'm a filmmaker. And I don't know the first thing about it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I'm going to figure that out. And so just like when I discovered acting, when I was a junior in high school, uh, this sort of light bulb went
off and everybody around me, my, my, um, she was my girlfriend at the time, like saw that in me. And she was like, go for it, do it. Everybody was just.
00:39:23
Speaker 1: Like, go.
00:39:25
Speaker 2: And so I quit acting. I quit writing. I quit all the other things I quit teaching. And I said, I'm going to figure out how to do this. And the first thing that I had to come to grips with, as you were saying, you know, you look around and you see other people your age accomplishing all these things and doing all of these things. And one of the things I had to deal with was there were many other people working in film as I was trying to, you know, get on as many sets as I could and learn as much as I could. who are way younger than me, who already had feature films, films at Sundance, films at Tribeca, films at all these other places. And I'm obviously being compared to them by everyone around me. And I had to just come to grips that I'm running my own race, that I cannot sit there and say, I have to do this by this age or this by this age, or I have to figure this out. I made that film for nine and a half years before I became a director. But if I were like, I have to do this by X age or complete this by this age, I would have never done anything. I needed to block out all of the comparisons, all of the expectations from other people, all the people said I should be doing because I had my goal, my measure of success, my level of what I needed to be accomplishing. And that's the only reason why any of it worked. And I was fortunate enough to have the people around me that believed in me. Like my girlfriend at the time, who is now my wife, She was like, I believe in you. Keep going. You have something special here. So, you know, a lot of luck. A lot of luck. Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:57
Speaker 1: But I mean, but it's also vision and then following that vision with action.
00:41:02
Speaker 2: Right.
00:41:02
Speaker 3: Because I think that's that sort of helps create that luck or at least put you in the pathway to finding that luck.
00:41:08
Speaker 1: You know, it's you.
00:41:09
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:41:10
Speaker 3: Seeing this because a lot of people would have gotten that idea and be like, oh, this is an important story, but never actually really go 100 percent in on it and and trust their gut at that point.
00:41:19
Speaker 1: Like, this is what I need to be doing.
00:41:20
Speaker 2: Right.
00:41:21
Speaker 1: And, you know, last kind of thing on that.
00:41:25
Speaker 3: I'm curious for you was if there was a bit of an ego death that needed to happen to transition from actor in front of the camera to then sort of saying, I'd sort of rather be telling the story. I mean, I know you were writing already and things like that, but I'd imagine, you know, that there has to be some sort of transition in your mind that happens, right? Because most people are going to always recognize the person in front of the camera. And of course, you're going to have the fans of film and things like that who are going to know who you are by your projects. But it's a much smaller audience who's going to recognize you, you know, from those things, you know, without sort of some sort of introduction, right?
00:42:01
Speaker 1: So I'm curious for you, was there a bit of an ego.
00:42:04
Speaker 3: Death that needed to happen in making that transition from in front of the camera to behind it?
00:42:11
Speaker 2: You know, what's interesting is I had such a passion for acting and such a truly, I don't fully understand what happened. But the second my mind switched over to I'm going to become a filmmaker.
00:42:24
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:42:26
Speaker 2: It almost transferred. You know, I never had that longing anymore to to go and perform or to get in front of the camera or to, you know, I had a one man show that traveled the country. I didn't. all that fire that I had in me to try and perform and try and do all those things weirdly just sort of transferred. And it made me feel like that was all of those no's, all of the trying and all the storytelling and all the things that I experienced in that world. I was able to use all of those as a storyteller behind the camera. And so it felt like that was a stepping stone for me to be able to do this thing that I'm supposed to be doing. And so I never... I never sort of looked back or second guessed it. I was like, this is where I'm supposed to be comfortably behind the camera, behind everything in the corner, writing and doing and doing all those things outside of, of being in the forefront. And that's where I'm honestly the most comfortable. And yeah, it was, it's so strange because I think about it to this day, the passion that I had for acting and the passion that I had for all of those things. It felt like just a transfer. Like it just like moved and it was like, now do this. This is where you're supposed to be.
00:43:39
Speaker 3: All right, I'm gonna hop in here one more time. We'll take a quick break and then we'll be right back. All right, we are back. So it's the sentences, the project we're talking about, right? This is your first storytelling experience. And obviously it's an incredibly personal one and you did it with HBO. But like, so I'm gonna read just like the liner notes of sort of the project itself sort of behind the scenes.
00:44:06
Speaker 1: So it's shot over the course of a decade, right?
00:44:09
Speaker 3: You worked as a producer, editor, sound mixer, production assistant, everything in between basically to learn how to do all of these different things for this project.
00:44:18
Speaker 1: And then on top of it, it is also a story that is showcasing your family on a.
00:44:28
Speaker 3: I don't know, in a light that many might be scared to even talk about out loud to people they meet on the street or even those closest to them, right? Because of the sort of faux pas that it is to have a family member in prison, right? Or to your point, what we're
talking about earlier, where there are a lot of stereotypes about people of color, right? And we're very much aware of not wanting to be just another statistic, right?
00:44:54
Speaker 2: I mean, this....
00:44:57
Speaker 3: How, you know, did you sort of balance this sort of the technical aspect of doing all of this, but also at the same time, being able to let your guard down enough to just let this story be told? I mean, I'd imagine this must have been an incredibly difficult sort of journey for you in so many different ways, both personally and skill wise and everything in between.
00:45:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it was exactly that. And I think that those two things went hand in hand because, you know, on the one hand, I'm the director, EP, cinematographer, sound person, producer on this film that nobody knows about, you know, that I'm making by myself. And on this side, I'm, you know, a PA who's just like wrangling cables and, you know, trying to figure out all the things and try and get close enough to the camera so that I can write down settings and write down what they're doing so I could go home and figure out what all of it meant. And so I was sort of playing those two roles and um, I think as far as the sort of emotional capacity that I needed to, to figure out with the sentence, um, I'll never forget, you know, I was really playing catch up, uh, for the first couple of years of, of making that film as I was learning how to do it. But I was filming with my, my family at a Thanksgiving gathering. And I think at this point in my life, my father had only ever cried in front of me, I think once. And, um, And I'm filming with him. My sister calls again, completely organically, and she calls. And my dad starts to talk to her on the phone and he starts to cry. And I remember thinking in the back of my mind, Rudy, when you started this and you asked your family if you could tell this story and make this film with them, you said, if you're open and honest and vulnerable, I will figure out how to make something good. And by good, I don't mean awards or things like that. I mean, for the greater good, I'm going to take this pain. I'm going to take what we're going through and I'm going to make something for the greater good dad. I'm going to make something for the greater good mom. And so in this moment, my father is being open and honest and vulnerable and doing all those things that, that he promised he would if the, if the time arose. And, um, I remember thinking in the back of my mind, Rudy, what the hell are you doing? Put the camera down and go hug your father. He needs you right now. And then something sort of took over me. And it said, no, this is exactly what you asked. And they're giving you exactly what you asked of them. So figure out a way, you dumbass. I remember like swearing at myself in my head. Figure out a way to tell this story. And so in the back of my mind, the technical aspect took over. And I started this mantra in the back of my head. How's your shot? Are you in focus? Do you have enough batteries? Do you have enough cards? How does it sound? How's your shot? Are you in focus? Do you have enough batteries? And so I had to create this almost emotional barrier between me and my family for nearly 10 years in order to tell this story. And it was difficult. And if there was one thing that I could change about the entire process is figuring out a way to not be so emotionally unavailable for my family for nearly a decade. It was one of the biggest sacrifices of my life personally. But it was necessary in order to tell this honest story. So all of those things, all of the technical aspect of learning, all the emotional aspect, all of those relationships were necessary. playing in all these different lanes in my head for the 10 years that I'm doing this while trying to work on everybody else's set to learn, to be better every time I go back and film, to make enough money to be able to go back and film, to make enough money to pay my rent. So it was a, it was sort of a nonstop emotional, technical learning journey, you know, that throughout that entire process.
00:48:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I appreciate you, you being so candid about that.
00:48:57
Speaker 3: Cause I think it's, um, It really just speaks to the idea of of what greatness requires.
00:49:03
Speaker 2: Right.
00:49:03
Speaker 3: And what what is required when you really want to do something profound, when you really want to have an impact and.
00:49:11
Speaker 1: The level of sacrifice that is.
00:49:13
Speaker 3: Needed to really create that that impact, you know, and I think even for me, you know, I I. I struggled a lot in radio and, and, you know, early on and finding my voice and, and finding success. And it wasn't until I began to just peel away the layers and, and, and stopped trying to put on the brave face and really got honest that all of a.
00:49:34
Speaker 1: Sudden opportunities started flowing my way, you know?
00:49:36
Speaker 3: And I think it, it just, it speaks to the idea that, you know, you get as much as you give at the end of the day, right? And if you continue to pour your heart into the things that you're doing and be real and open about it, you know, people will see that and sort of pour back into you, you know, or the work will pour back and, you know, will showcase the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that you've really been putting into it, you know?
00:49:57
Speaker 1: And that's just, yeah, it's crazy.
00:50:00
Speaker 3: I'd imagine, like, going home at night after filming, especially, like, that night with your dad, like, there had to be some guilt within you where it was like, I know that I just got this great shot and the filmmaker in me is so damn excited, but like the son in me is like, I just had a missed opportunity to share a really beautiful moment with my father.
00:50:20
Speaker 2: Yeah. A hundred percent. And, um, you know, what's interesting is I put up such a
barrier for so long making that film that, you know, we, we eventually it was done and we, um, we had some great success. I got into Sundance. We ended up winning the audience award at Sundance and all these things. And I remember about four months after the film came out, um, I had just the biggest kind of emotional breakdown, uh, probably result, you know, the result of a lot of guilt, a lot of, of wondering, you know, people are, are, are saying it's a success and they're saying all these things. But in the back of my mind, I thought, Did I exploit my family? Was this truly for the greater good? And there was a lot of good that came out of it. But it was just something that I couldn't shake. And I almost never made another film. I didn't want to make another film. And it took my family, actually. expressing to me all the good that came from it and all the healing that came from it that allowed me to say, okay, telling stories like this can be a very great thing. It can be a healing thing and it doesn't have to be for anything other than the people who you're giving a platform to and the people you're helping. And so they really saved my career in a lot of ways by, you know, and I didn't share with them that I was going through this emotional breakdown, but they let me know and you know, while I was secretly going through that stuff, they didn't even know that they were sort of healing me from understanding that it's okay to tell these stories and it's okay to be honest and vulnerable and, and be, be true to who you are. But yeah, it was, it was a very, you know, what, what, what in hindsight should have been one of my happiest times as a filmmaker, because all of these things are finally coming to, to fruition was probably one of my lowest in my entire life. So it doesn't come, without um other things you know the the sort of the the accolades don't always come without you know that pendulum swings both ways a lot of.
00:52:34
Speaker 3: Times yeah no i think that's beautifully beautifully said i mean and to your point though the the greater good is really showcasing this not often talked about story of the the criminal justice system and how these sort of um the cruel sentencing that happened really affected communities of color, you know, and, and the way that it, it tore apart family dynamics because of, of just how harsh these, these, these sort of laws were and, and the, you know, the rulings that happened as a result to the people who committed these infractions. I'm, I'm curious for you in this project, you know, What, what was sort of the, and honestly, it's more than just a project. You going through it with your family, what was sort of the biggest eyeopening thing that you learned about kind of our criminal justice system?
00:53:30
Speaker 2: I mean, so much. I mean, I learned that, you know, one of the phrases that I always try to keep in check is that people keep calling it a broken system. And one of the things that I would always say is, you know, it's not a broken system. It's working exactly the way it's designed to work. You know, I think that we're broken culturally by being okay with the constant imprisonment and exploitation of our brothers and sisters. Like that's where the shift has to happen. You know, the laws and all those things will change when we culturally shift and we say we're not okay with that. We're not okay with the warehousing of our brothers and sisters, especially at our own cost, you know, financially, emotionally, spiritually, all of those things. And so, yeah. it was very eyeopening to see just how the system works, but then it was also eyeopening to see how opening yourself up and telling the story can help, uh, help sort of sway that system. You know, after the sentence came out at, um, Sundance, I got a call and it was from Congress people from the right side of the aisle. And they said, listen, for the first time, I have something that I can go and show the people on my side of the aisle and that will say, this is why we need to fight for mandatory minimum sentencing. They said, because you didn't come out and attack us. You came out and pulled a story from the heart. I can always share a story from the heart when my colleagues don't feel attacked. And they said, we'd love to show this on Capitol Hill. And I don't know what gave me the guts, but I said, you can show it on Capitol Hill if you make it a bipartisan screening. I want people from both sides of the aisle there. And we did a screening on Capitol Hill and there was a little article, you can look it up on the Washington Post that said a little known film helping to make strides in mandatory minimum sentencing. And they say that we were a part of passing that first step back, which ultimately helped release the release of tens of thousands of people. And so we played a part in one of the biggest changes in mandatory minimum sentencing in our country's history. And it all started with believing in something enough that you can make change from this tiny, tiny portion and playing that long game and saying, continue to tell it from the heart, value your voice, value your story, and keep that at the forefront and you can make a difference. And, you know, I try to share that as much as possible because, you know, again, I wasn't a filmmaker when I started this. Nobody thought I could do this. I told, I showed early footage to people and they said, nah, not going to happen. Who cares? And I took that who cares? And I said, I'm going to show you who cares. I'm going to show you why people care. And you keep pushing.
00:56:12
Speaker 1: Man, I got fucking chills as you're telling that story. That's, that's crazy. That's, that's so beautiful and so inspiring in, in, you know, why you should really just go with your gut. And, and also, how much sweeter it is when you're actually doing things that are also of service to other people.
00:56:32
Speaker 2: Right.
00:56:32
Speaker 3: I think
that is, is such a great story to kind of put a period on that sentence. And I, one thing though, are you, so you work on this project from what it was at 28. So almost, uh, what, 38, 39 years old.
00:56:45
Speaker 2: Yeah. So it came out in 2018 and, uh, I, I might've been 27 or something. Um, yeah.
00:56:53
Speaker 3: So you're well into your thirties by the time it's like done, uh, I love these kinds of stories because most people would have just fucking given up at that point because late 30s to still be struggling is a wild place to be, right? That's a scary, worst-case scenario for any creative person.
00:57:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:57:13
Speaker 3: Or entrepreneur or whatever, you're like, if I haven't figured out by this point, like maybe it's not for me.
00:57:18
Speaker 1: I love these kinds of stories for that.
00:57:23
Speaker 3: I mean, quickly, your girlfriend who maybe was at your wife at the time, I mean, like, how are you dealing with all of those narratives and still finding it in yourself to just keep going and feel like you're going to be turning a corner at some point?
00:57:37
Speaker 2: So there were a couple things going on at the same time. So while I was working on everybody else's film to figure out uh, how to make mine. I went from an intern to a PA, to a sound mixer, to an editor, to a producer, to an additional photographer, to a cinematographer. I built myself a career, all self-taught. Um, and so I was shooting films for Sam Pollard and Robert De Niro and Whoopi Goldberg and all the things. So I was building a little bit of a career, but what I wanted to be was a director. I wanted to be the person telling the stories and I'll never forget, you know, eight and a half, eight and a half, nine years into making this story on the side, I had this little tiny office in Brooklyn and I was in there looking at footage at like two in the morning and I just broke down crying. And because I thought I've been doing this for over eight years, almost, it was nine years at the time I was looking at the footage and I was like, there's something very special here and nobody's ever going to see it. And I almost gave up right then. And I had just had my first daughter. And I remember I had to leave five weeks after she was born to go on a shoot. And I remember it was five weeks to the day that my sister had a 15-year prison sentence dropped on her and she had to leave. And I was motivated again. I said, if she could do it, I can do these things and I can keep pushing. And a few months later, we found out That the story was coming to an end and I was going to have a film. But there were so many moments that I should have given up that everyone probably thought I was going to give up. But you find ways, you find ways within your life that continue to motivate you. They're all there if you're able to open your eyes and listen sometimes and listen to what the world is telling you. keep pushing. Your voice is valuable. Your voice means something and it shouldn't be given up on.
00:59:37
Speaker 1: I love that.
00:59:38
Speaker 3: And let's close out on the current project now, right? So Choir and it's out now on Disney +. I mean, what is sort of the synopsis of this story? I know it's sort of a return to back home almost in Michigan, right? So talk to me a bit about what the story is about and what caught your attention and spoke to you about it as far as why the world needs to see this and hear this story.
01:00:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, coming back to Michigan and telling the story from my home state was a major reason why I wanted to come back and tell this. And I think especially with the Detroit Youth Choir, who is this amazing choir run by Anthony White and an amazing staff. A lot of people know them from America's Got Talent. In 2019, they got the Golden Buzzer and had this beautiful moment And I remember actually being in a hotel on a shoot somewhere in the world and watching them go through all that and thinking to myself, wow, what an amazing story. What an amazing group of kids. And when this idea presented itself to me from another production company, They said, what's your vision? And I was like, well, my vision would be, first of all, to go into Detroit and break down all of those stereotypes and tropes that you normally hear about Detroit. Because I know that you can go to Detroit and tell a beautiful story about resilience, about agency, about hope, and not let these kids in this program be saddled down by what everyone's preconceived notions of what it means to grow up in an inner city like Detroit is. Let them just be great. Let them just be kings and queens without this asterisk next to them. I wanted to tell that story. And as amazing as AGT was for them, it was not the beginning. They'd been doing this for over two decades and it is not the end. They are doing so many more amazing things. And I wanted to encapsulate and tell all of those stories from a lens of beauty, not a lens of what was new storytelling. Not a lens of feel sorry for me, but a lens of be proud of us, be proud of who we are and watch what we can do when the expectations are high. We will meet those expectations.
01:01:41
Speaker 3: That is that is beautiful. And, you know, this is close zone for me. I mean, I grew up in the Bronx. My mom was a teacher in the South Bronx, you know, rough area and. you know, a lot of these kids are dealing with so much shit that the average person would just would never be able to even comprehend.
01:01:57
Speaker 2: Right.
01:01:57
Speaker 3: But they're going in there day in and day out, expected to go to school and do all these things when they're having, you know, family who have drug problems, criminal problems, you know, their parents aren't picking them up from school because they're off doing God knows what right there.
01:02:09
Speaker 1: And they're not their kids were just born into this. They weren't asking for any of these things.
01:02:12
Speaker 2: Right.
01:02:13
Speaker 3: And they're they're have all the cards stacked against them, be it the, you know, the the family they were born into, be it the.
01:02:21
Speaker 1: Government, the prison system, all of these different things.
01:02:24
Speaker 3: And most of the time, they just need somebody to give a shit about them in some sort of way and give them some sort of opportunity to see a different life, right? And I think that's why this is so touching, you know, this sort of story. It's like these are kids who were given the opportunity to do something outside of the norm and they're excelling at it. And it's this special thing that I'm sure had a profound impact on the entire community as a whole and will continue to inspire other kids, you know, for generations to come, which.
01:02:57
Speaker 1: Is the beauty of this type of story.
01:02:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
01:03:00
Speaker 3: Man, well, listen, Rudy, it's been a pleasure getting to talk to you and hear your story. It's super inspiring and I love all the work that you're doing. So I definitely salute you on that. Where can people keep up with you, all the projects that you're working on and want them to follow you anywhere?
01:03:14
Speaker 2: Uh, I'm on Twitter and Instagram, uh, at the, at the real Rudy V it's spelled R E E L, uh, Rudy, R U D Y V. Uh, I thought I was very clever with that name. Uh, not so much, but, uh, I also have a website, Rudy Valdez.com and yeah, I, I try to, uh, update my social media as much as possible. I'm not very great at it, but I also wanted to say, this was such an amazing interview and I want you to know that your, your authenticity and your heart really shines in the way you listen and the way you ask questions. It's really refreshing. So thank you for that, man.
01:03:48
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for saying that I received that. I really do appreciate that. That's so much, man.
01:03:52
Speaker 3: And, uh, choir out now on Disney plus go check that out. And, and all of the other amazing projects that Rudy has worked on, um, the sentence and everything else. Amazing stuff, man. And listen, you can come back anytime you want to. I appreciate the conversation.
01:04:06
Speaker 2: I appreciate you. Thank you, man.
01:04:07
Speaker 3: Big shot to my guest this week, Rudy Valdez for hopping on the show. Just man. I, I, you know, I know we've been doing a lot of like Hollywood ask conversations. I don't mean Hollywood in like, Oh, you're being Hollywood. I mean like just conversations surrounding Hollywood. But I, I think it's, it's incredible to kind of peek behind that curtain. You know, when you talk about media in general and just how large of a, of a, role media plays in shaping the way that we see the world. And I think it's amazing to see people like Rudy and, and, uh, Linda, who we had on, on the show. Um, I think it was last week or the week before just, you know, really making it their life's work to elevate our stories, to
tell our stories, you know? And I think it's a beautiful, incredible, much needed thing that I think it has more of a profound effect than any one of them will ever probably realize, you know? so many people can see themselves in their work and might be inspired or feel comforted. And I think that that's sort of this, it's just this sort of priceless thing that we can't even really quantify the value that it brings to somebody's life. I know there's so many times where I watched a documentary or a movie and left feeling seen or inspired and it just fired me up to, to go, you know, a hundred miles an hour towards my, my goals or my visions, you know, and there, there's so many different things that have inspired me like that. And I, I, you know, I wouldn't be here probably if it wasn't for a lot of the content that I ingest or creators who are making content that inspires me. So I think it's just, yeah, you got to salute people when they're, they're doing the work and telling important stories rather than just sort of creating nonsense that really has no real value.
01:06:03
Speaker 1: In the long run. So salute to them and really making sure they elevate our community and help put us in that spotlight. So it's a beautiful thing.
01:06:11
Speaker 3: Now with that said, like I said before, no ask a gringo for today's show. So let's tie everything we talked about today in a neat little bow in a segment we call Conclusion Stew.
01:06:20
Speaker 1: But first, let's take a quick break and then we'll be right back. Time for Conclusion Stew.
01:06:35
Speaker 3: There are a lot of things I feel like I can take away from from Rudy's story, I think.
01:06:43
Speaker 1: I just think in general, man, like.
01:06:47
Speaker 3: You look at somebody like him and kind of where he saw himself and he was an actor and all these different things, and I love when people are unafraid or push past the fear. of shedding the old version or idea of themselves to embrace the one that suits where they are in their life at that moment. I think a lot of us find it really difficult. We get attached to an identity and we create sort of this life or this goal of what we want our life to look like. And we get so hyper fixated on it. And again, I think obviously when you set out to do something, to live a certain way, to obtain certain goals or whatever, yeah, you have to be hyper fixated on it. But you also have to have real conversations with yourself because sometimes that goal that you set out on, the real purpose when you zoom out eventually, you know, years later, whatever it might be, sometimes you recognize the purpose was never actually to achieve it. Like the universe had something else much better for you, but you needed to sort of set this goal just to be able to go off on your journey.
01:08:08
Speaker 1: And I know I've talked about this.
01:08:09
Speaker 3: A bunch, but I love the idea of the pivot of really just checking in with yourself and saying, what would actually make me happy now? Am I doing things currently just because the old version of me, like, you know, said this is what our life is going to look like.
01:08:26
Speaker 1: Am I still honoring the evolution of myself?
01:08:28
Speaker 2: Right.
01:08:28
Speaker 3: And I think for me, I resonate with that so greatly. Like I think about DJing, you know, DJing has completely shifted for me since the pandemic. You know, I essentially took off almost two years from regularly DJing, you know, even as things open back up, I wasn't going back into DJing. And this is something I love doing. Music has always been a part of my identity. You know, I was a DJ and producer and everything else second. And my goal was to be this DJ touring around and producing music and all these different things.
01:08:58
Speaker 1: And I apologize if this is redundant for anybody. who's been listening to the show for a while.
01:09:01
Speaker 3: But now DJing has turned back into a passion for me, like a hobby. It's no longer work. I'm not doing it as a means to pay bills. Yes, of course, the extra money is great, but I'm not... using it as my main source of income or even something that I prioritize as like one of my top sources of income.
01:09:23
Speaker 1: You know, I only play venues I want to play at. I only work with people I enjoy working with.
01:09:30
Speaker 3: And for me, it's back to just being a kid who loves music. And this is my outlet for that.
01:09:35
Speaker 1: And a.
01:09:38
Speaker 3: Part of me had to have like an ego death, even with like, you know, leaving the breakfast club and things like that. I've talked all about this stuff as well. But it's again, shedding the old version of yourself and embracing the new and saying, it's not a failure if I move on before achieving said goal.
01:09:58
Speaker 1: Because I'm not giving up. I'm re-strategizing, essentially.
01:10:04
Speaker 3: I am actually checking in with myself and designating something that would make me even happier than the previous goal I had associated with happiness, right? And I love that with Rudy, where originally it was to be an actor. And then he just had this calling to be a filmmaker and he just unapologetically pivoted into that and embraced it and recognized that this sort of new version of himself, right, as we all continue to evolve, would be much happier being a filmmaker than being an actor.
01:10:33
Speaker 2: And.
01:10:36
Speaker 3: Obviously, it's easier for others, you know, when that transition happens, I think for me, it hit me hard where it was like, oh, man, I'm taking a step back from the limelight.
01:10:46
Speaker 1: And my ego had a problem with that. My ego was having trouble accepting that.
01:10:50
Speaker 3: And it took a bit to adjust to saying, like, I don't need to be rubbing elbows with celebrities every day. You know, that's not really what makes me happy. Even though that was a part of my goal originally. I'm not failing. I'm not giving up. I'm moving on to make the new version of myself happy. Rather than like, you know, you can't keep playing in the same spaces and, you know, hanging around the same places and doing the same things and expect to have different results at the end of the day. I think that's what I'm trying to get at. And I think oftentimes we hang on to these old ideas that the old version of ourself wanted so badly. And out of fear, out of ego, out of shame of feeling like a failure or giving up, we fail to give the new version of ourselves what it needs because we're hanging on to an old life, an old dream that really no longer serves us, but is comfortable at the end of the day. And I guess that's my big takeaway from the conversation with Rudy. And I just love that idea of just opening another chapter, you know, and not getting fixated on just one thing and thinking that your life only has one story within it, sort of.
01:12:02
Speaker 1: So that's my two cents on that.
01:12:04
Speaker 3: And again, big shout to Rudy Valdez for hopping on the show, his documentary Choir. is out right now on Disney +. You can go ahead and check that out. Again, just salute him and all the.
01:12:13
Speaker 1: Work that he's doing and being an inspiration, whether he realizes it or not. I'm inspired by it.
01:12:19
Speaker 3: It definitely, I think, is right in line with how I view life right now. And it's kind of good to see somebody pivoting, having success doing so and not looking back. I think it's further validation for me that we're not.
01:12:38
Speaker 1: meant to just have sort of this one path that's okay to deviate when you feel like something else is calling your heart. And you should probably listen to it at the end of the day. So, beautiful stuff. Now with that said, I will catch you on Thursday for our Thursday Trends episode. Until then, stay safe and we'll talk soon.
01:12:53
Speaker 2: Peace.
01:12:57
Speaker 1: Life as a Gringo is a production of the My Cultura Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.