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So welcome to today's podcast episode. I have Shelby here with me again today talking about the topic of stop being vanilla. Stop stop being another way to say it. Stop being beige, stop being plain Jane being bland, all of those words. And what does this have to do with starting up your coaching practice and your business as a new coach, as a Lightworker, as someone that cares about the human experience and the collective. Collective consciousness. Right? So this topic today, it sounds so. Basic, but it's hugely important. And it's like a foundational reason for, for our program, freedom to dream, freedom, to think bigger and freedom to, to be in life and be in business the way that you were intended, what you were intended to bring out into the world today. And so. We decided to have a conversation about what it means to step out of that vanilla, that vanilla stage, and really adapting who you are into all of the things. So, so here today, I want you to think about think about where are you showing up vanilla, beige, basic. And where, where would you love for your light to shine? A little brighter. Shelby, what are your first thoughts about about this? When we, we talked about this a couple of days ago about this concept of being vanilla, what were your first thoughts? I think the first thing that comes into my head, when I think about being vanilla is who are you when you hang out with different people? Now, I had this incredibly, incredibly life-changing mental when I was a teenager and I went into this teaching with a young adult youth leader in my And their teaching was called circles and I was really interested in and kind of curious to see what they had to say about circles. I mean, circles is a weird topic and it ended up being who are you in the different circles that you hang out in when you're with your friends, who are you when you're with your family, who are you when you're working in your business? Who are you? And when you're on your own, who are you? And then, which of those people is the real. Hmm, which of those people is the real you. Yeah. And so, so do you think, do you believe it's like a combination or do you believe, have you come to believe that in each of those areas, you're going to be a different side of you. I think that it's not a either or I think it's a both. And I think it's definitely the same sort of coin just looking at it from different perspectives. And when you are in these different circles and you are different yes. In many of the situations, you'll just simply be reflecting back to that group of people, what they're experiencing, because if you think about. Like we're projecting into our life, what we need to see, but we're also being vessels to project into other people's lives, what they need to see in their projection. So oftentimes we need to be very open to that. And I think that's where being in tune with your spiritual side and your intuition really helps because then you can figure out,
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oh, my word was that my energy. Okay. It's coming out there or is that simply a reflection of something that needed to happen for another person? So that's the one aspect. The other aspect is that it is a combination of who you are In each circle. So the five people that you interact with become major players in your personality. And so yes, you are hanging out with those people for a reason. And so there's probably a part of you that will want to integrate those in. Up to you as a sovereign being as the CEO of your own life, as the person who is queen bee over here to decide what resonates inside of you and what doesn't, because really the only place that you can find out who you are is within yourself. And whether that's a combination of who you are in the inner circles, or just one aspect of who you are in a particular circle. And that to you. Oh within yourself. Yeah. And you mentioned intuition in this, and I think that it is important to recognize what's happening around you and following that gut instinct versus just focusing on, on self, there has to be a balance there of being your true self, but also. Recognizing and feeling the energies around you and what do our, especially when we're with our loved ones and people we care about, we want to see what the vibe is in the room and, and then bring out what we can support others with. Also being at the same time, being true to ourselves. Now, we, we talked about the, the different circles. And who you are in those different circles. And that was a great answer. It's like a everything and both, and, you know, answer because, because really it, it is your environment that will pull out certain things now. Have you ever walked away from a situation and you're thinking, why did I just do that? That didn't feel right? How could I go back and fix that to get to that ever happened to you? For sure. How many times? Like I'm all word embarrassing. So sometimes that could be an example of being are not true self, you know, and I think that just simply. Pull myself back from trying to go back and fix something that I did. And just, just be open to another opportunity too, to embracing that conversation in an appropriate time. So I, what I want to emphasize to you is that when that happens, you're in a certain circle and you behave or do something in a different way. It, you know, it may be. That you're just responding to something that's happened externally around you. And I want to invite you to just kind of loosen up and the things that don't feel like your, your natural self that you did and you don't exactly feel good about because sometimes that could be an internal signal of what's true to you, but also sometimes it can be. It's a situation where you're responding or reacting to someone else and it caused a not self response. I hope that makes sense. Does that make sense to you? That makes so much sense. It comes down to intention, many of the times as well, because if you as a Lightworker and we're very, very clear about the fact that we want to work with light working people, we want to work with people who are here to raise the vibration of the planet and make a huge difference. Not only. Oh in lives, but because they're making a difference in their own lives and living out exactly who they're supposed to be, that creates a ripple effect in the planet. And I think that if, if you wake up every morning and you set the intention of, I am here to serve humanity and I am a part of that humanity. So many of the times. Weirdness where people think if they're in service to humanity and the actions that they're doing and the experiences and interactions that they're having, then they are becoming a doormat or they're sacrificing themselves. But we forget that we are also part of humanity. So if we set the intention of every experience and interaction and will be paid out in the best possible way for the good of humanity as a whole. Yeah, I think you can sort of rest in that and be led more by your spirit in those sort of situations then by your mental mind. And it's weird how that happens. It is. And I think that these moments actually even teach us a little more about About the color and the light that you do bring to a room. We get to learn more and more about ourselves when we experience something that that may have been out of our, out of our true self out of our comfort zone. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So we have a question for you. What do you believe you have to be like to attract your soul clients? When we think, talk about that, what do we quote have to be like to, to attract our soul client? Here's the Tada answer. You have to be like you that's the quick answer, but not so easy to come by. Right? Shelby, definitely not. I think that's the most difficult thing to do is find out who you are when you are in a reflection. When you're in a world where there are so many reflections that. Or not you. And that's the point. There is nobody on this earth that can reflect who you are to be to yourself because. Your job. So it's hard to find that externally. And that's really the key in many of people's lives is they're trying to look externally for all these answers. When, again, it just comes from within what kind of what kind of beliefs have you. Encountered when working with clients who believe they have to be a certain way to attract clients, print seller. Well, I noticed that we tend to believe that other people have the answer as you just spoke about, but we also tend to. Revert to the thought that they know more, they experienced more, we need to have someone else's viewpoint or interpretation of something to decide what we want, how do we want to behave? And the types of decisions we want to make. And when we're looking to the outside for that, we want to pay attention to in our human design chart, where do we have a defined or a fixed center and where do we have an open or undefined center? And the reason that this is important is that
if we're looking externally for inspiration Hm. Our is actually a defined center. Naturally we'll have our own inspirations or things that light us up. We already know what will light us up. you know, what inspires you and you know, your go tos, you know, for instance that music will get your head in the right zone space to be inspired. Right. And so when we know that about ourselves, then we can trust that what lights us up is the space that we can go into to be inspired. However, the flip side of that, if we know that we have an undefined asthma, we know that we can look at. For instance, other people's work and be inspired by that and we can do that and receive what we need to receive and get inspired then come up with, with your own work. And so I think it's really important to know. Where do we have a fixed way of being a defined way of being, and really believe that believe that we have this fixed knowing. And we know that that's the realm that that's the space that we operate from. Right. Keeping in mind that both, both are good and both can really work to our advantage yeah, for sure, for sure. And I think those defined versus undefined center centers really often times in our lives, as we're growing, as we facing obstacles, as we building our business, we'll come to a point where, where we might have what we like to call negative self-talk come into our minds. And these are what I kind of think of as a small affirmations in a negative way. So these beliefs could be like, I need to wear makeup in order to go live, or I need a 10 ADP camera in order to make a YouTube video or an Instagram real, or I need more than a thousand followers in order to get clients. Because nobody's going to trust me or I need an automation or I need. To not speak out about spirituality or I don't want anybody to know I'm an alien. We're all aliens. So, so true truer than you think people So those are the kinds of beliefs that might come up. And when you have those kinds of beliefs coming up in your mind what I would suggest as a solution is in how to integrate those different things that you think about into your life and into your business and those, negative. Self-talk how you flip the script on that is to them. Tell the truth instead of the lie. So if you recognize that and you can go two weeks ago, we had a podcast on perception and observation. So that's a really good guide on how to recognize when these kind of situations are happening in your mind. And then to be able to flip that script and turn that light of, I need to wear makeup, or whatever it is in your mind into something that's true. They will love me because I like to wear my face naturally and never wear shoes. And those kinds of things. Well, definitely help just flip the script on that negative self-talk and also just realizing that those quirks, that you're hard on yourself for are incredibly beautiful. They are what people fall in love with when it comes to you, they are your attracting presence. And the reason being is that those quirks and those funny things about yourself. When you share them with your audience, when you share them with your people, they create polarity and they create relate-ability with polarity, you have people that are going to be for you, and you have people that are going to be against you when you are integrating your quirks and what you might perceive now, Flaws or differences from people who might idolize or who might mentor you and you really using that in your marketing and using that to invite people into your space or into your program as a coach, you're creating polarity. So what do you think about that print seller? Yeah, I think that when we look at the word polarity, we naturally feel like polarizing or being different than. It's a bad thing. However, we each have our thing that's different or that separates us from, from others. But here's the thing. There are others that will relate to what polarizes you, because they're there in that same circle to use description that we use in the last podcast. They're in that same, that same circle of familiarity. So although you both are. Polarizing in this particular topic, there will be others that will, that are a part of that club. Right. And they're waiting and wanting to see someone that's familiar too, and what they know and what, how they feel is a polarizing thing about themselves. And this is the whole idea of attracting your soul clients, is that when you're pulling out something that is a deep thought that you. You're afraid to pull out of the dark because it's too different from other what other people believe and see and recognize as their reality. The truth is is that there are others that will have that. And that is how you are calling in your tribe. And that is how you're calling in the people that you're naturally aligned to. And I want you to, if you feel like there is something that you know is different from the norm. You know is different from what most of the people around you think and believe. You know, I want you to look at that as a beautiful light bulb moment of clarity and how you're meant to show up to really call in and attract your soul clients, your soul aligned clients. Yes. I love that. Really. At the end of the day, it comes down to sorting and not selling. When you come in. Or coming into the space of client attraction rather than sales and marketing, you are wanting to create a vibration that is like a warm fire. And generally a warm fire to one person might not be a very cozy person. I might be their house burning down to another person. So what you're creating is a place where. Those moths or those dream clients are attracted to your vibe and your fire are coming to you. But at the same time, that fire is also repelling people that aren't supposed to be there. Like fire might even repel predators or wild animals if you're in the wild and the dark. So it's really awesome. It's it helps you not to waste time and
your business as well, marketing and speaking to people that don't really. Need to be working with you at this point. And there's also a beauty in that too, because. When you are creating this polarity, you're also affirming into the universe that there is enough sun for everyone. And that's why there is no competition, or there is not supposed to be competition in the coaching realm, because if my fire is not attracting to somebody, that's okay. Somebody else's is going to be, and they're in every right to go there. That client you're an every right to go there. That client is an every right to go to that code. Right. And, and this speaks to the heart of who we want to attract to the freedom to dream program, because you are, when you're working in this space as a Lightworker and working for the collective, right. This is, this is our truest heart's desire feeling joy for someone to find who their true connection is. Who their coaches meant to be who their client is meant to be, is his joy for us all, because it, it helps to support the collective. And that's what we really want to support you in doing is bringing out your light, Going beyond the vanilla stage into something that brings all the colors of you really out and shining brightly so that you can call in the people that you're really meant to uplift for the greater good. And that's what we mean by stop being vanilla stop. Looking to. To be validated by what others are doing, right. Because their space and what validates them internally and drives them is a different space that you're in. So when we're stuck in vanilla, it means that we're, we're suppressing our color and our light. Right. And we're inviting you to, to shine, to shine away and just like reveal all the colors of you. I think it's amazing that the freedom to dream program really focuses and emphasizes that freedom. Because when you stop being vanilla and you step into your authority of who you are and what message you want to be bringing into the world in the way that you want to be bringing it in and not necessarily even the way that you want to be the way that you're supposed to be the way. Purposed because I'm not gonna lie. I felt called to do certain things that I'm like, whoa, no, I can't do that. But, but it doesn't to me, Satan. So it could be that, or it could be that your, your higher self is calling you to say, Forward and it's going to be uncomfortable. And so how do you know the difference? Well, the thing that you are meant to do will keep coming at you and different ways and different forms, you will continue to get that stay message of stepping into alive or stepping onto the stage or talking about a topic that is polarizing, right. That will not go away. That is how you know that that is the thing that you're meant to pursue. The other thing, when it's the devil will say, when it's a negative energy, when it's an energy that you shouldn't be going into, that will go away when you dismiss it. It will go away because our beings, our souls are much stronger than that negativity. When it's something that you're meant to walk into, it will keep showing up in different forms and it will slap you down, like pay attention to me. Fo shows. Yeah. So I hope that you're completely energized in, in looking at what makes you different and catapulting that thought into something that, that needs to show up. Maybe for you. This conversation today was another way of. Showing you how to, how to lift yourself up to show all of your true colors of you. And so I hope that this energize you and supported you and figuring out what does polarize you, what does make you different? What does have you come out into the light and really reveal so that you can really attract who you're meant to be working with and also attract to you the business that you're meant to do? Not to get off on another subject here, but this also helps you to maybe rethink and reframe what you're doing in your business. This helps you to shape, and this is why business changes so much for people. Sometimes as we have new revelations about who we are, we start to discover and really peel away the layers of the business that we are meant to bring out for people. Yeah, that's so true. Really stepping into your purpose and, and being guided by yourself and destiny and coaches. It's beautiful. I love the journey, right? Yes, me too. Me too. Well, thank you for joining us today and as always any questions, just pop them over to us in an email or find us on Instagram or Facebook. You will find us there at PS limitless woman. And if you want to learn more about the freedom to dream program, head over to PS limitless, woman.com. Do it.