ABOUT THIS EPISODE

James explains his deep bond with Sinatra. Deeper than you might think.

English
United States

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:01I've given this a lot of thought and I'm convinced
00:00:07of one simple truth
00:00:11I am Frank Sinatra's son
00:00:15I know it sounds crazy
00:00:18I got evidence tons of it
00:00:21a whole big swinging mass of evidence
00:00:26to use the parlance of my father
00:00:29Frank Sinatra
00:00:31I got too much time but I wanted to get all this proof down in one place before they come for me
00:00:38the most important thing to know about me is that I've never had any idea who I am
00:00:45I mean I know my own name
00:00:47I know I prefer mustard to catch up and I think it's a tragedy highways replaced reliable commuter trains is America's primary means of transportation but doesn't just puzzle pieces
00:00:58I'm talking at the whole picture
00:01:02when I tried to put the pieces together it was always a nightmare
00:01:06hideous picture of a man with toes growing out of his head and hands for abs
00:01:14I never knew what the point of me was
00:01:18I was given up for adoption at Birth I never knew my real parents
00:01:23My adoptive parents were kind but they were both postal workers they wanted me to follow in their footsteps literally I tried
00:01:34I was 24 years old I got a hernia from Victoria's Secret catalogs
00:01:38after that I hung up the bag
00:01:41I moved around a lot
00:01:43I've lived in New York Los Angeles
00:01:47Portland Oregon
00:01:49Portland Maine
00:01:51Minneapolis Chicago and Peoria Illinois
00:01:56I get a barista a bank teller
00:01:59whatever the hell the guy who shaves the beef is called an Arby's
00:02:04can I settle down
00:02:07I spent the majority of my career is the branch manager of a Blockbuster video store in Akron Ohio
00:02:14so they all closed
00:02:16which was a bit of a blow
00:02:20I did get to keep several hundred HD DVDs at Blockbuster fail to liquidate
00:02:26I do not currently own an HD DVD player anyway my free time I've dabbled in poetry Community Theatre model train collecting computer programming getting beat up by Angry Suburban moms at kickboxing classes and of course my main past I'm sitting up late at night wondering who the hell I am
00:02:49then last year
00:02:52I finally got around to getting copy of my birth records and everything fell into place
00:03:00my mother was allegedly named Jane Smith and no father was listed oh that blank space it was like the rest between the notes it spoke volumes I was born white naked and screaming and Hoboken New Jersey
00:03:16same breast place as Francis Albert Sinatra
00:03:20the drink was born he had to be pulled out of his mother with forceps Perforating his eardrum in permanently scar on his neck
00:03:27according to my medical records my birth was very easy
00:03:31I was coded and an excessive amount of amniotic fluid so I slipped right out
00:03:38results of the reason the doctor immediately drop me to the floor you do me a scar on my forehead that looks like an old-time microphone
00:03:48anyway these are flavor details here are the Salient facts
00:03:52I was born in 1963
00:03:55at this point in Sinatra's life he was unmarried and had a penchant for dating show Girls
00:04:02I believe it is entirely possible my mother was a showgirl because I got great legs their lean muscular and to be honest they go on longer than the iTunes user agreement
00:04:15I also share some obvious genetic traits with my father and skinny real real skinny always have been
00:04:23catwalk against the harsh wind I have to I just have to dance with the lead and one of my eyes is blue
00:04:31the other one turned brown after I got hit in the head by a foul ball at a baseball game yes I have one blue eye and one brown eye like David Bowie but I'm not David Bowie's son I am Frank Sinatra's son
00:04:43look at my cheekbones they're huge they're intimidating they enter the room before I do the sheer weight of their presents lingers in the room long after I've left
00:04:54so the genetics work
00:04:56the mask works
00:04:59there is no other man in the world who could possibly be my father except Frank Sinatra now I've talked to a lot of naysayers
00:05:10the wine that I need tangible scientific data
00:05:15it's an order to prove anything I need a sample of Frank Sinatra's DNA
00:05:20well I have access to Sinatra's DNA
00:05:24we all have access to Sinatra's DNA it spread across our entire cultural landscape you assholes
00:05:33Sinatra live this life out loud
00:05:36hundreds of books have been written about him thousands of newspaper articles he left behind hours and hours of recordings not only albums but appearances on radio TV movies or streets named after him
00:05:50he had his own line of pasta sauce
00:05:54the sauce for God's sake and yet somehow as a culture we're already forgetting about him how sad is that
00:06:05I feel like that was documented can be forgotten so quickly what help do the rest of us have
00:06:12who will remember we exist it at all
00:06:15anyway I'm wasting time
00:06:17you could open that door take me off any minute
00:06:20the point is I know the real Sinatra
00:06:24Rochester taxi tip of the iceberg bullshit at Capitol Records pews whenever they want to sell a new best of album
00:06:31hey the chairman of the board wear Fedora and maybe him to the mall but also he sang pretty relieved the magic screw you Capitol Records
00:06:40I know the essential truths of Frank Sinatra
00:06:44and every one of those truths matches up with me
00:06:49with what's in my very soul
00:06:52that's where the real proof is
00:06:54so let's have a breakdown
00:06:57I mean let's break this down
00:06:59Frank Sinatra this battle all these stereotypes about him was an early advocate for diversity
00:07:08and the 1940s he won an Academy Award for a short film he made about tolerance called the house I live in
00:07:15you Champion the creator of Sammy Davis jr. and raise money for Martin Luther King jr. I'm also willing to put my money where my mouth is when it comes to my beliefs I was volunteered to answer phones for the Akron Ohio public television pledge Drive I did it for 72 hours straight
00:07:31I got an Antiques Roadshow mug in a bladder infection I stand up for my beliefs even if it means you're sitting there for 3 days with minimal bathroom breaks
00:07:41I thought it was also a very inventive man
00:07:45he created the concept of the concept album that's right without Frank Sinatra Jethro Tull would never had made thick as a brick I could have thought of a better example illustrate that my point is Sinatra had vision
00:07:59you saw the big picture then album didn't have to just be a collection of random songs about the moon and getting dumped instead it could tell a cohesive story of a guy who gets dumped then feel sad while he's looking at the moon
00:08:15especially the story of the album in the wee small hours of the morning
00:08:20I too have had some moments of vision
00:08:23I created something that I truly believe will revolutionize the entertainment world
00:08:28here it is an app that matches snacks to movies
00:08:34just like songs used to be thrown on LPS randomly but no sense of adhesion or narrative progression we just eat any damn thing with any damn movie like a bunch of savages with my app your belly and your soul will be United
00:08:48watching Moulin Rouge
00:08:50you're going to want cheese bread
00:08:52Bad Boys 2 jalapeno peppers
00:08:55the 1997 Special Edition version of The Empire Strikes Back gluten-free Rice Krispie bars
00:09:02how much is pulling this out of thin air it's an algorithm There Will Be Blood significance
00:09:11that's not something you can just know
00:09:14I worked hard to figure all of this out and build it into my algorithm
00:09:19clueless coordinates
00:09:22I can do this All Night the point is I invented something that will leave a mark on the world
00:09:30I have a big idea
00:09:33I just need people to hear it
00:09:36all I have to do is get it out there and I will
00:09:41I will
00:09:43because I'm driven
00:09:45if I tranquilize
00:09:49Frank was driven because his mother my grandmother that Alina Dolly Sinatra was intense he needed to succeed to prove his will is as strong as hers so when he did said his mind is something he did it when bam no prisoners Frank Sinatra was the living embodiment of the American dream was an angry poor Italian kid from Hoboken New Jersey but he had a fire in a soul to conquer the world I had the same fire when I work at Blockbuster that's how I became the branch manager I suggested DVDs and VHS tapes like my life depended on it it took 12 years but God damn it I made it happen
00:10:25I sold a lot of down and customers on the Brilliance of Sinatra's movies
00:10:30sure he made some crap like The Kissing Bandit and four for Texas but he gives phenomenal commanding sensitive performances in The Manchurian Candidate The Man with the Golden Arm
00:10:44and even fun runs like Ocean's 11 Ocean's 11 to Tino's Pizza Rolls
00:10:50Prince acting style was unique because he prefer to do just one take
00:10:55what's a Charley that called in
00:10:58that's why I like doing very small low-budget Community Theater performances sure you rehearse for three months but then you do the show Once and Bam you're done that makes sense to me
00:11:08Selena get your done that and it keeps getting your gun night after night till you're so bored you want to blow your brains out
00:11:17I'm sorry that came out a bit dark
00:11:19I've been a servant and depressive but hey I get it from my dad
00:11:25dad wrestle with some dark times
00:11:28who is famously quoted as saying I'm for anything that gets you through the night yet prayer tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels
00:11:38dad mostly rely on Jack Daniels
00:11:41he was what we would call nowadays a functioning alcoholic
00:11:46I also enjoy bourbon occasionally but I'm more of a white man ever shot of Jack that Sinatra ever tossed back I swelled a big full body glass of chilled shoveling
00:11:57I like my father
00:11:59the source of my hood stretch misery is the ladies
00:12:04a my father was a ladies man
00:12:07Gore ever met a big he was arrested for the crime of Seduction at the time seduction was the acceptable term for having sex in the back of the car
00:12:18I myself have never had sex in the back of a car
00:12:22are the front of a car
00:12:25or someone else's house
00:12:28all the lights on look this is a point where I differ from my father
00:12:33he was a passionate man he was married four times it was not always faithful
00:12:39I do not have what is called a way with the ladies
00:12:44I've had 3 serious relationships in my life strangely they've all been with women named Deborah
00:12:51I don't know why I've only dated Debra's it's just worked out that way
00:12:57I personally thank everyone of those relationships
00:13:02Deborah's of the world 3 James 0
00:13:07I'll be honest I've not been a good partner
00:13:11my eyes always wander
00:13:13blue white and the brown one but why my eyes wander my body just stays there
00:13:18if you've ever been at a cocktail party and saw a weird guy with amazing legs and posing cheekbones and a big glass of chardonnay staring at you was probably me
00:13:30I'm sorry
00:13:33I deserve every beating I've ever taken at a kickboxing class
00:13:40deeply deeply flawed
00:13:43it's in my bones
00:13:46father Frank Sinatra was also very complicated flawed man
00:13:53he was the first artist to figured out how to lean into his flaws and make them work for him
00:14:01in the late forties he was done
00:14:03the war was over
00:14:05suburbs are popping up everywhere America was getting Hall seen the righteous me while my father was punching out reporters and stepping out on his wife Nancy barbato Sinatra with a glamorous movie star Ava Gardner the public was dumb of them it was like his personal Blockbuster store just got closed forever
00:14:24but did he stop
00:14:26did you give up no
00:14:29he fought and he made the big comeback
00:14:35he landed a pivotal role in From Here to Eternity hiring war movie that pairs best with poutine
00:14:42you got himself sign a Capitol Records
00:14:45start recording new songs
00:14:48more than anything
00:14:50he held himself differently
00:14:53it's Swagger now
00:14:56hit a twinkle in his bright blue eyes that's a damn I've seen some things
00:15:02he was wounded
00:15:05wounded like a wolf
00:15:07a swing back and forth and broken the vulnerable too dangerous and on the prowl brilliant
00:15:14it was honest
00:15:17that's who he really was
00:15:20he let it show
00:15:24that's where he rests in the public mind
00:15:27leaning up against a piano with a glass of Jack and his hand loosening his tie
00:15:34belting out the truth
00:15:372 minutes okay okay I hear you
00:15:41so much more to say but I am running out of time so let's go to the really important stuff the music that voice I know I know the big question the question you've been asking yourself the whole time
00:15:55sure you got a street bones you can pound wine like a champ you're determined to succeed and you're the lights to show girl but none of that matters if you can't sing
00:16:08I may not have my father's pipes
00:16:12I have is phrasing
00:16:16approve it
00:16:18going to sing for you
00:16:20I take two very specific song
00:16:23a lot to choose from father is associated with hundreds of songs you'll notice I said associated with not written by
00:16:32what are they didn't write songs
00:16:35it said I'm a Fool to want you what you cover up with yellow hair and a Jack Wolf to reflect his tortured feelings about Ava Gardner but I digress my father didn't write songs he took songs that already existed and made them his own
00:16:50can you imagine that
00:16:52sing a song so well no one else would be willing to do it
00:16:57had a fear of comparison the closest I've come to accomplishing that is recommended Titanic so elegantly other Blockbuster employees were shamed picture to customers
00:17:08I'm losing precious time the song I picked is I got the World on a String
00:17:16one of the first songs you recorded with Nelson riddle at Capitol Records before his big comeback
00:17:21it is on the page a terrible song listen to these lyrics
00:17:27I've got the World on a String sitting on a rainbow got the string around my finger what a world what a life
00:17:40I mean holy Christ in the song the protagonist wants us to know he's expressing his love by putting a rope around the globe and bouncing it around from his perch atop some Celestial Nordic God Rainbow Bridge is in the syphilitic ravings of a Madman but in my father's voice it becomes an exaltation of joy
00:17:59because he meant those lyrics
00:18:02he believed them even at his lowest you still knew who the hell he was he knew he was no one if he didn't win so no matter how many times the world knocked him down no matter how many Blockbusters they closed he got back up
00:18:19and if I'm his son
00:18:22then I can do that too
00:18:27that's just common sense
00:18:30that's just who I am
00:18:34I have to be able to get back up
00:18:39I have to be worth remembering
00:18:43misterbini a cat's time just a minute I'm proving something
00:18:49I've got the World on a String
00:18:54sitting on a rainbow got the string around love you see it's all about the phrasing okay I just need to make sure I say this recording of a lot of people to see if you want to be on America's next big idea you have to come with me right now it's do it okay
00:19:30so what idea are you catching the judges it's an app that determines the correct snack to eat while watching a specific movie fortune favors the Bold
00:19:40please call me mister Sinatra
00:19:53when I walk through and jams no one knows who I am
00:20:01what's your head on my chest
00:20:04and I missed her success never close they had to you all at one time
00:20:16just your head on my chest
00:20:19and I'm mr. 6s James urbaniak episode 25 the big comeback is written by Joseph scrimshaw and produced and performed by James urbaniak and Dustin Marshall this program is part of the feral audio network is it feral audio.com for prior episodes and other podcast what I want to be
00:20:46just your head on my chest
00:20:50investors success
00:21:10Cheryl

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