Full Transcript for Managing Feelings + Healthy Workout Habits + What We’re Watching & More (5th Thing)

I bring those for the kids, but then I end up eating them. So yeah, I wonder if those blue out of my car, if anybody would want to be my friend to take her trash out. It's another thing in this, like swipe this Monday meme thing that you know, the Cranky Therapist put up. There's one that says, my best friend just told me she hates me. Actually she said she wants to go hiking. But it's the same thing. But that wouldn't be you, though, because you like to hike. Oh, I love to hike. I just thought that was funny. Okay. Final one that I'll share from this post that she put up, it's Steve Carrell like dying laughing like it's from the Office. It's a screen grab from that show and he's just thinking something is hilarious. And the meme part is me laughing at my own jokes before I hits it, which is totally me all the time. It's like me and Cat laughing at what we say here on the podcast before you'll ever hear it, and you'll probably don't like wrapped on them like that was a good one, and then people are like, why would they laughing? What's funny? Okay? I want to move on to something a little bit more on this serious side. And I didn't even know I was following this account, but it's called millennial dot Therapist. I don't know if it's something that just popped up. Actually I'm not following them, but they have. I just went to their page. They have one point four million followers wowsers. So I don't know how if maybe it just was a suggested post that I should read, or maybe someone reposted it and somehow I screen grabbed it. But it was a post that talked about reasons we get angry, and then it followed up with eight reasons why we hold on to anger. So, while I know that none of my sweet listeners here right now are angry people, I am sometimes so I'm like, Okay, I want to just share this with you, just in case you're angry or holding on to any anger. And now, the three common reasons that she put up for getting angry is one, our needs are not being met to our boundaries are being violated. Three, we perceive a threat. Example would be to our relationship with others, our body, our sense of autonomy, something like that. And then if you swipe, you'll see eight reasons we hold onto anger, and I'll just run through them. Anger validates our experience. We are more comfortable facing anger than sadness. We lack the skills to self soothe. Being angry helps us avoid taking responsibility our parents modeled holding grudges. Letting go of anger may mean letting go of our last connection to someone we love. Anger makes us feel alive, provides an adrenaline rush. We are trying to protect ourselves from being hurt again. Boom. Which that just makes me think about the Burnet Brown special on HBO Max. When Kaylee Dickerson was on my podcast for the Thursday episode of Four Things, we were talking about it Atlas of the Heart. If you have HBO X, watch it. If not, you could order her book, but I could go ahead. You can use sign up for HBO Max free trial and then

cancel it when you're done, like, cancel it within two weeks and then you can get it for free or something. I don't know pro tip. But it's so good and it's all about your emotions and what you can learn from them and naming them and that sometimes we I mean, and this is the early on episodes. I haven't watched the rest, so it's only going to get more. And I have the book and it's making you want to die more into the book. But I'm trying to finish some other books before I get to that. But we can learn so much from our emotions, but a lot of times we don't even know what to call it, so we can't really learn from it because we can't even pinpoint we're actually really feeling any language for it. Right. I feel like a bad therapist right now because I have not watched any of that yet. You're gonna love it. We should do a watch group. What's it called a book club? Book club like a Berne Brown special club? Wait, so has it come out every week? Well, there's five episodes like her Netflix thing, I think was just maybe an hour long special, and this is episodes. It's like a little series. So and I haven't completed it yet, but I'm all about learning more about the human emotions experiences that we have, and learning about the language YEA for myself and others, so that we can understand ourselves better and understand others. In the first episodes, I think she talked about how there's like thirty different emotions that she was going to come straight on, and I was like, oh my gosh, if you were to ask me to name five different emotions, it would because I could probably do ten. Because my son has this book on emotions that's really elementary, which actually I should share with any parents on here. If you have kids, order this book for your children. I have enjoyed reading it with him and we've read it multiple times, and it helps kids manage big feelings. And it's called What Am I Feeling? And it's very simple, but it's about this kid and he's from his morning through when he goes to school. He goes through a lot of different emotions and he feels like they say flippy and his tummy and it's like, oh, what does what does that actually mean? And then the book helps be like oh, the parents are like, well, let's talk about that, like are you nervous about something? And of course he has to go to school, and then at school he has this situation where he gets angry and then this other kid gets sad because like they're building blocks got knocked down and anyway, just this whole thing, we need an adult What Am I Feeling? But I guess that's probably what Burnee Brown's alicement hard is the adult version of that. And to go back to the original post, I love posts like that because I think when it does come to anger, anger gets like a bad reputation, and that post is saying like, sometimes anger can be really good. And I think of anger is like the justice emotion that we have where it pops up when we're like, hey, something's not right. But if we ignore it because anger is bad, then it can turn into something that it's actually not like rage. Yeah, and I've had rage, legit, and I was like, what is going on with me? And I think of it was hormonal, but also I think that I wanted it to be hormonal. So that was my crutch because that I don't want to admit that you're angry, right, because that's an easier explanation you don't really have to face easier, Yes, easier in the sense that like I don't have to sit with the discomfort of I'm actually angry about something. Then I have to do something with that, right. It's like, oh, I mean, yeah, that type of rage. I mean it wasn't like out of control control, but it wasn't my norm and it was clear that I was getting like triggered and having outbursts, and it wasn't a healthy environment for the kids and really anybody or me. Not that I did anything that jeopardized their safety in any way, shape or form, but I mean, I think I've told the story before on there, and this is just one example. I think I have a peanut butter one too, but i've I like got so angry, I slammed the milk down and milk literally went everywhere. I actually was then angry because I had I had to clean it all up afterwards. But then there was another time incident. Doesn't matter why it happened, but I ended up throwing like a jar of peanut butter across the room. And that's like not horrible favor. We called it. We called it peanut butter gate in my house. This is her name. This is reminded me of the other day when I texted you, I voice messaged you after I got in my parking lot fight. I was so angry. Well, I don't know how to tell it in a concise way. It's not going to happen. But what happened was I just got an scuffle, verbal scuffle with a woman in a parking lot because she was being mean and just rude. And I got angry because my justice was coming up and I was like, this is not right. But instead of you know, doing something bad and yelling at her, I just messaged you. But and here's the thing with that, Like road rage is real, and that was a parking lot situation, so that falls into the category of road rage. And people are unpredictable, and so I avoid confrontation because you never know who might be packing heat in their car and then they pull out their gun and shoot you, and then you end up a dateline episode. Oh my god, I'm serious. I did say I was worried about walking back to my car, like she's going to be waiting for me, I am. Or she slashed your tires. Maybe one of my tires as a hole in it, So if she does that, maybe then it will just encourage me to get a new one. Yeah, well, I just keep filling it up. I don't know why. I'm not mean to people on the road. I'm not anything. Actually, the one time I was a little bit rude to someone, which wasn't crazy, I just kind of like threw out my arms like and it was in a parking lot. She took my parking spot. That's what I know. I know you had a similar situation and there was like justice or the parking spot that belonged to you, But

lying it was just weird. She just right up pulled right in and I kind of looked at her, like, hello, I was standing here and kind of just threw my hands up a little bit, not very dramatic, but enough to where I wasn't proud of myself. And I was on my way to yoga. And then I go into yoga and she is in yoga, and I'm like, oh, we're both here to find our inner calm, and like I threw my hands up for her in the parking lot, but she spoke about barking spot, but we were late for class, and then she got in there before I did. And then when I realized she was at my class, I was mortified because I had thrown my hands up. So I learned my lesson. The one time I got a little feisty in the parking lot, I had to face her and I was embarrassed. So I won't ever do it. But also I don't want to be that way because I don't want to get shot. Okay, I guess that's true because things like that happened, But in my head, I'm like, I don't think it's that embarrassing in one aspect because you were on the right. Yeah, but maybe she just didn't see that I was waiting there with my blinker on. I just have to assume you're totally right. You should be a therapist. Actually, can't really leave the therapy to you. You're the expert, which leads me to the email which I would like your advice on and I can weigh in as well. But says hey, Amy, I recently found your outweigh podcast last year while battling disordered eating an unhealthy workout habits. I also was dealing with depression during the pandemic as an ice you nurse. It got to the point in my recovery that I gave up all workouts. I've been focusing on daily activities such as walking my dog, working around the farm, and basically anything that moves my body while bringing joy. I'm to the point now where I would like to introduce more structured workouts back into my routine. I'm somewhat scared to do this though, because I used to try programs, but they're pretty restricting and trendy, and I feel like I punish myself if I fell off track. It constantly made me compare myself to others. Any tips on introducing healthy workout habits back into my routine or any laid back workout programs that you enjoy. Thanks saying me, Kayla. I love this question because this is something that I think a lot of people struggle with when they come back from taking a break from working out. So one thing I would say is stay away from those like trendy like thirty days shred or like sixty days this where like you have to do something every day, even if what it is is like now, Tuesday's your rest day, even that it's like I have to rest. When you're getting back into movement, should be working on actually listening to what your body likes and doesn't like. So that's the first thing. The other thing I would say is try a bunch of different things so you can actually see what you like versus what you have been told you should like or you should do. And I think she's doing that with like she said, she's doing movements of Joy, And I know that you want to get back into a routine, Kayla. And actually in the email she listed out specific workouts. But I don't want to put certain people blast by reading out their names, but I just feel like for certain people, when that's the wheelhouse they're in. It's like the thing you design a program, you make a challenge, you're it's like making it fun. It's supposed to be fun. But unfortunately for us that have disordered past and were in recovery, suddenly what was supposed to be fun is super stressful because we're like, oh, if I don't do all sixty days, then I'm a failure. But I'm here to tell you that you're not. You can still enjoy if you like those types of workouts. My hope would be that eventually you could sign up for something like that. But then also you get inside your own mind and take control of it. And Cat I might be wrong in this. This is just me speaking from recovery. What where I Am because I love to do Tracy Anderson. I mean that's my favorite workout, but also Tracy's workouts. I do the Beginner program and I signed up for an online program that's thirty minutes a day. And she wants Tracy says in her thing, she wants you working out every day or like six days at least, or this or that. She has a lot of different rules. But what I'm thankful for with where I am, and I don't think I was here in the beginning. It took me a while to get here. So I'm not saying this is for you, but that's why I'm sharing my experience is like, Okay, Tracy, that's good for you, but that doesn't have to be how I use you. I want to use you when I can do you. Sounds really bad, you know, Okay, Tracy, Um, you know what I mean. I want to pull up your workouts and do them when I want to. And that's what for me it's about now. Like it's thirty minutes, it's on my own time. I can pull it up whether I do it in the morning, at night, in the afternoon, or I don't do it at all, And that's okay. But that's the permission I had to give myself, and I had to convince my brain that that's okay, and I just ignore all the talk around it. I find the workout that I like, because I truly do enjoy her workouts. For me, they're my jam. But I'm also not going to buy into her that I have to do it every day. I just don't. Or maybe I want to walk with friend, or maybe I want to go ride a bike with Stevenson or maybe I want to do nothing. All of that is okay. That's what my encouragement is to Kayla that hopefully she can get there. And you know, I don't know, Cat, you're looking at me like you're the expert, and you're like, no, no, no, I'm not like no no, I'm a I think with anything like this, we have to be mindful that we're talking to people that are of all different places in their relationship with exercise. So where you can do that, it might be really really triggering for somebody, but they want to do that, they want to be where you are. So I would say this way in the beginning, right, So I would say in the beginning, while you're getting back into things, really easier

way into it, and I would say, don't put yourself in any risk until you're in a spot where you know that you can handle certain things, So ease into it. Don't do the thing that might be triggering until you have had space where you have gotten to a place where it feels like you can make decisions not based on what's being to you. Awesome, Okay, Kayla. I hope that that helps. And I know that it's difficult but it sounds like you do already have some movement that is bringing you joy, and so I would stick with that and then dip your toe in this other water. You know, these classes or these boot camps or whatever that you like to do. I would encourage you, and it's possible for me. My hope is that it will be possible for you that you have to take control over what the quote unquote rules are, because guess what, there are no rules. Can I shout out somebody that I really like? Yes, So somebody that I really really like. She's been on you need therapy before. I think it was last summer. Her name is Kaisa. Her instagram is at Kaisa fit k A I s A and she has an online workout program called just Move. You can find that at just Move, and she has phases from start. She don't call it beginner. She calls it start because some people don't even know how to be a beginner yet to like advanced. And I am obsessed with her and everything she says. I'm like, yes, I love you. So if you want to look for something new online that feels safe, that's somebody maybe to check out. Awesome. Okay, I have another email from Lisa Hey, Amy wanted to let you know that my eleven year old daughter, Ella is currently working on a project for school in which they were allowed to pick any topic to research. Ella chose to research Haiti. I immediately thought of you and your connections and love of Haiti, but I didn't mention it to her. One of the questions that she had to answer for her project was why she chose that topic. When I was reading through her rough draft, I was surprised to learn that she chose it because she hears you talk about Haiti and adopting your children from there. My heart was happy to know that she's been inspired by your love of Haiti from you know, listening to the Bobby Bones Show. In the podcast. She's been trying to learn some Creole for her presentation, so I was quick to teach her the only Creole word I know, espa. Thank you for this, your friend, Lisa, which espoa means hope in Haitian Creole, and I have a tattooed on my wrist and I just thought that that was so sweet. And Ella, I hope you get a one hundred and if there's anything that I can do or maybe my kids could do Steven Center, Stashira or something we could provide. I don't know when this project is due, or when you might be listening to this, or I don't know. Just overall, I think that it's just super special that you chose to do this project, and I would love to know the grade you got. I would like to see the paper if I could. I think I could share that with my kids and they would think it was super cool. So, Lisa, if there's a final product, send it to me. Four things with Amy Brown and gmail dot com. Obviously you know the email because you already email me, but I'm just saying it again for other people that might want to send a note, because Kat and I would love to hear from you all questions. For the fifth thing that you have quotes that you would like to share with us, you know, because at the top of every episode we like to go over quotes. And then also Cat likes compliment. Oh my gosh, are you saying that because I say that you need to take more compliments. I will say I do like compliments. So if you want to send me one, look at Cat. She's so healthy. So I also got in a fight in the parking lot last week. Yeah, but okay, get no more fighting and parking lots because we remember Dateline. I don't want to die. Yeah. Do you ever listen to the Dateline podcasts? No? I don't like watching any Well, I am lying because I listened to Crime Junkie today. But I don't like to fill my brain with that stuff because then I'm gonna be scared all the time. Okay, well, I don't want to be scared. But I do have a show for you to watch that is on Do you have Peacock? No, but I can get the thirty deleted. Yeah, get the trial, delete it just to have it for you know, two weeks or whatever. Pro tip. But the thing about Pam so it was a podcast. There might be like actual but you know, how about thing about what I thought you were starting a sentence? It is the name of it. Rene Zelwiger plays I am the main character. But also this is a real life story and she killed her best friend and then also her mom. But anyway, it's not like snapped. She's crazy, but it happened, and I think like St. Louis or anyway, who cares, doesn't matter. But it was a podcast, you know, how all these shows that were podcasts and their true stories they're getting scripted shows. So by scripted is that what you call it where there's actors acting it out and so re enactment type thing. And I watched it on Peacock, but you might be able to get it somewhere else. But that was really dirty, John, Yes, Connie Britten started on that one. Such a great podcast, the scripted show, I mean, but then also I feel weird being like, oh, this is so amazing because people's lives and like what happened tragic for them, but also very fascinating and interesting. And you know, a few weeks ago the rest of the Way Down thing went up on HBO. Yes, I'm I have one more episode, but I don't want to give you a sneak into my life of why I can't watch a lot of the murder stuff because I my whole life was convinced that I was going to get kidnapped from my house. So I you're looking at me like I'm crazy. I feel like that's a common thing. Kids are scared, are scared of. Maybe not. I don't mean to look at you like you're crazy. I'm like, oh gosh, it feels bad now it was so well, no, but I would This is funny now, I would sleep in my glasses every single night because I thought in my head because I'm

like, have a really bad eyesight. So I thought, in my head, if I get kidnapped, I have to have my glasses because I'll never be able to see to be able to find my way home. And so my glasses were perpetually like crooked looking at me like I'm crazy. Oh no, I'm But then if it was thunderstormy and lightning, I would take them off because they're metal, and I was also afraid of thunderstorms and I didn't want to get electric cute. Oh my gosh. So that's maybe why I went to therapy and sixth grade. I'm not sure, but I'm going to be a therapist when I grow up. That's how Catholic with therapist. Okay, well, we hope that y'all are having the day you need to have. What up? Shout out, thank you cat for that oldie but a goody and you need therapy. I'm just gonna close with that, just kidding. That's the name. That's the name of cats podcast. If you want to go check that out. If you want to find her on Instagram, she's at cat dot de fata d E f A T t A. And Then You Need Therapy podcast is the handle on Instagram for the podcast that she hosts herself. And then Outweigh, which we mentioned earlier. Lisa and I are kind of switching up what we do with that, but there's I think over eight episodes that we've put up um that focus on eating disorders, disordered eating workouts, different things. So if you are curious about maybe where you are in all of that, if you know someone that is struggling with any of that, it can be a good resource for you. If you are knee deep in it, hopefully it can be just a tool that you can listen to, have it in your back pocket, and I hope that you can get the help that you need. And I'm just someone that's in recovery that wanted to have that that weekly conversation. So every Saturday we've been putting up episodes. But again we are altering a few things, but Outweigh will continue to be a resource for everyone. It just may look a little bit different in the coming months. Alright, Cat any parting thoughts, Yes, I would like to let everybody know that they can find you on Instagram, at radio Amy, and on the interwebs radio amy dot com. Thank you, Thank you. I've been trying to post a lot more reels lately. I don't know why. Well, I don't know how long I'm gonna last at it, quite honestly, because some days I take breaks from Instagram. But I have put up more reels in the last month than I ever have before. I was very impressed with the hair transition. Cool. That was very cool. Leah my hair person, shout out. We worked really hard on that. It was very simple. If we knew what we were doing, it would probably have taken five seconds. But we did know we're doing so we had to do that transition like five times and people in her salon. Luckily, she's the owner of the salon, so nobody messes with her. But if she to be like, Okay, look at those girls over there trying to make a real or TikTok or whatever they're doing, I don't know. So yes, radio Amy is my handle and that is where you can find me. I was going to come up with a rhyme, but I don't have it or Radio Amy is my handle if you want to go there for a skindle kind of scandals her on your Instagram and I don't know. I guess you have to go there to find out just what it's all about. Yes, wait, okay. Also I will say I have kept your song that you created. How did it go? Don't set it down? Put it away? What was that we did that a couple months ago when we were talking about you're looking at me like I'm crazy again. I don't remember put it down, put it away, don't or something like that. Anyway, The point is, every time I have stuff, because I like to throw my stuff all over my house, I hear you on my head saying put it away, put it away, and my house is a little cleaner. Oh well, I recommend ten minute pus. That'll help you keep your house clean. If you do, set a timer for ten minutes and pick up PU. Pick up as much as you possibly can in those ten minutes, and then you'll feel so invigorated by it that you'll be like, and I can do another five and then it turned into a fifteen minute PU and then before you know what, your house is clean. My sister taught me about that and turn on some fun music during the ten minute PU and then you're like good to go, or a podcast and just a set of timer. You don't even have to go more than ten minutes. But it's just like, hey, I've got this designated ten minutes to pick up. Ten minute people, you're just gonna saying, don't put it down, put it away. That was it, don't put it down, put it Oh wait, you remember, I don't. God, you're in my head like every day. Oh what was that saying I sent you the other day where it was about like if you don't do with your trauma, put it in the trunk, it's going to turn into junk. Or what was it? What was it? That was? Like? Life changing? It was and I thought you should write a book. And now I can't remember it is, so it might not be that life changing. And to be clear, I replied back, I'm not writing a book, but I did like it. I said, I just picked to share up from school and we were driving home and we were talking about something and then it came to me when I was talking to her, so I sent you the voice memo when we were at a red light. And then now we'll never know because most was like, deal, you gotta deal with your junk, don't put it in the trunk. No, I had nothing with junk or trunk. But it was something about how if you don't deal with your stuff, it's gonna like come back to bite you, or like show up in other ways. But it was a rhyme. We'll think about it and well maybe maybe maybe next maybe next Tuesday. We'll know who knows. Dang. I wish voice memos didn't expire. I did save one of yours. Oh, why didn't you say that? I save one from my dad? Remember the when he texted me. He thought he was doing a talk to text and he did a voice moment. He said thank you, thank you, period over and over. I saved that, and I saved one of yours. What are you just for funny? Oh what I say? It's not for the kid, it's not for public concution. Okay, Well, to make fun of Cat's dad doing that now every time my voice memo Cat, I ended with period, exclamation point, question mark. Bye. Okay, it's probably inside jokes that nobody thinks we're funny right now, and we probably need to go because we're getting delirious. But how the day you need to have and this is our show. Thank you, period question mark exclamation point by