ABOUT THIS EPISODE

A story of a runaway, sexual identity, and survival in the wake of loss.

In part two of our episode we pick up with Jerry as he returns to New York City from Saudi Arabia.  With money in his pocket he decides to indulge in a free lifestyle, immersing himself in the gay community at various bath houses and night clubs on a regular basis. After running a successful business and ultimately losing a loved one to the AIDS epidemic, he struggles with addiction in the rough and tumble 1980s East Village.  From there we follow as he drives his taxi cab through a rapidly changing landscape, watching old haunts and the character of the city he once knew slowly disappear.

Episode 027 is sponsored by Hello Fresh. Use code EIS30 at hellofresh.com to receive $30 off your first week of deliveries.

English
United States

TRANSCRIPT

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00:00:59deliveries the truth of Tompkins square park was if you went in that park at night you can be killed and ten feet in dad fires burning they had tents there were all kinds of drugs do all kinds of sick people I was at a controlled many people in
00:01:21the building or heroin cocaine addict you'd hear shots at night till we get shot right hers got stabbed at the front of my building all kinds of darkness there's one afternoon I drive up to my building a ghost is and I double fog that come back downstairs all
00:01:42hell has broken loose we're heading out to the sidewalks on both sides his head was back back in our heading toward them in a way tree limbs down and breaking car windows setting them on fire the hordes of people racing around damage storefronts and always because the police
00:02:11station getting out of there for the night mayor Giuliani data services program called pressure point that was the name of it helicopters police dogs police with the shield it was the turning point for the East Village state has to do something it was out of control dangerous and
00:02:40dirty and drugs for us to do fest but they were going S. crazy old man I was like a civil war and it wasn't hand people there were thousands to wherever they came from ended with days of Riley is just not that day I was a witness to
00:02:59my campus so far quick fat guy that is there you are listening to everything is stories this episode is part two of the marble faun I had returned a Saudi in nineteen eighty one Robert my friend met me at the airport he said I got your bank book
00:03:32here you want to see how much is saved snow I know I'm going to go to vans out some to get laid I don't give a **** about money I don't care I mean it I'm not even Bregenz I had rolling in money big money I look like
00:03:45from really rich guy because I had to find his clothes and I wasn't looking to look like that but it just happened to be very hot look in and I had great clothes and I was rich and I was good looking someone to go to her house through
00:03:59your own demands country and see what we're all about and what we have to offer men's countries of full facility multi level complex that was designed to feature something for everyone come to man's country and develop your body for a friendship with somebody else's visit us once and
00:04:19you'll come again and again the best work out in town it's man's country twenty eight well now on its back in nineteen eighty one what's the arc like while it was it was no aids virus all the bands houses of steam and along the literally would sit in
00:04:37his room with couches and there's a menu of drugs for sale you can buy anything heroin to shoot heroin to smoke echoed to should have called the show at LSD marijuana everything you wanted was a manual and your daughter and sit there and bring it out in the
00:04:54package that have any fear that are just got home much rich what I did was I got to a heavy duty drugs and into a bath house seven three floors of and it was another building with three floors there was a luxurious guardians of TV room two or
00:05:18G. rooms and and and neat little cubicles private store lamps it was really really neat there wasn't very it was a major holdouts it was a sexual supermarket it was not only based on sex is affected re communicating reestablished it was like wow I have all this money
00:05:47I get to stay here was only twenty four Bucks a day to rent was cheap I stood there and so I showed my sis I made a lot of friends that I had gotten everything out of my system but after all that was said and done IBM took
00:06:10the money and decided to do something with it so robbers suggested I agreed by a small truck no I got I got a root removing parcel out of Williamsburg and began trucking is tough business and there's a lot of work here always is then we advertised in the
00:06:31voice and was called a a a all this for ages borrow triple a you'll borrow Truckin so we'll look at the top advertising in the voice and what form rang off the hook we've picked up a lot of clients I started moving finer items besides parcel of boxes
00:06:52and we were hired by interior decorators to move fine arts how long will the cost so as a customer Shalit Ford a Nile Smith and Terry designers have in here everything from antiquity to modern art I mean it doing this is very E. is known the world Robert
00:07:20gotten so sick in those horrible we were on First Avenue about east thirtieth street his speaking was completely exact charade was making he didn't have to get the sentences of full thoughts it was very obvious that he had something going on I went into emergency room thinking you
00:07:45just have a stroke or here's something doctors say his treatment is hold on a sec lots of course has blown away here's my heart and soul my best friend my best friend's brother know about it and and then I found out the name of it and I still
00:08:10didn't completely get it no one did the problem of course wired immune deficiency syndrome or aids is unknown and there is no known cure the deadly disease has been mostly striking homosexual men more than seven hundred cases have been reported in New York sixteen hundred and you know
00:08:31you didn't hospital in free can blow me away is set up like this and he said what are you going to do without and I just couldn't believe he said that I said you're not going to do anything without you you're not going to be going anywhere I
00:08:46didn't want to even think of him not being alive and he said that what are you gonna do without me he died so so promptly and here is right I went on destructive trip horribly after he diagnosed it quickly and passed away god bless him his doctor said
00:09:28you take a test I would like you to do that and I did and I was HIV positive and had had to see from using and having sex there were at least ten of us I mean it are getting all of the names it is many one by
00:09:45one they were no longer around there is no one to call debt also impacted my loneliness because we went to the anvil wis and the bads within the discos during those good years there were no longer confidantes because every day I couldn't call Dale of and sale of
00:10:04having a really hard time can I come over no one was there there's no one I was a lesson the Mohicans the I was absolutely isolated is if I moved to Chicago there was nobody around anymore I decided to move into my own East Village apartment take some
00:10:33money out of the bank party J. skate better armed guarantee more I just wanted to be selfish but if you're smart so I guess got into drugs and have reduced sex so I decided to like buy a suitcase full of cocaine Peruvian flea so strong that you touch
00:11:00you can feel it get high light sure dash aphrodisiac ever take you could not control his so hot to trot twenty four seven it was amazing powerful what a lot of very from the discotheque donor and I learned to shoot it up which was released in it kept
00:11:36me from reality robin being gone is being done I didn't have anything less I would get into the elevator enough to bring tears and **** and say what the **** are you going to do about this problem you can't even stop using the minute I woke up I
00:11:59used it was I was so sick did I went to such a sorry state macaskill is being closed on the I was in my house is summer day and I'm so paranoid I take all my stuff important a middle of the room consent sure someone's around well I
00:12:31was using I I thought I heard something so I went to the front door and I wiped my face sweat of my brow and opened the of ten whole window little things for the whole way I saw it I mean it I saw the devil and a nurse
00:12:47next to him the devil was wrapped in cellophane I'm doing my debts are grown in a gift is taken and inertia spoke spastic she was wearing nurse's outfit and going really fast like this like it was so scary is thing I get so paranoid and that's probably why
00:13:20it's so these that's so not so I think the matter is this close to dying gone to hell I was a deviant trek I was dark so I did stuff did I wouldn't tell you about myself and others you know I would get six six sheets of to
00:13:47the wind with high a chemical drugs mages psychotic I was dangerous and I don't know if you haven't done because you learn coke don't a take you by the balls and you'll fight to get him back **** drugs manage harsher edge devils mako is terrible it takes you
00:14:08into a false this that is euphoria excites you sexually like you feel like the only started and you can handle and do anything you feel so sexual it's so powerful degree of the holy of soul and spirit and body then you want more of it it's really no
00:14:30joke got me I had to fight my life but his are really good at of the jet diction I remember it was a summer time it was just before July the fourth of course being the **** that I am I decided it was okay to use again just
00:15:00the devil and I abscess here by on blow up because I shot up so stupidly that mom is effective and I had to go to the hospital General Hospital on and I decided to shoot up in this song and then I ran out of drugs as July fourth
00:15:24night and I I was so so friggin lonely is no one to call ID number and phone call to the hospitals because they couldn't afford them anymore nobody wanted known because I was out of my mind so I went down to the river where they're going to have
00:15:42the fire which was the hordes and hordes of people and I saw the look in the garbage soldiers left over from the way I was done the balls in my **** I just walked back to my age religion format roasting high had a fan in the window and
00:16:03I'm trying to sleep sweating and and sorry to fill guess what fireworks over the river I can hear the I got so physically depressed buy sell my **** god about three thousand times as I said it once over and over of server so freaky blown away there was
00:16:32like a battle cry I wanna live stack it was just too dark and too brutal and dangerous in every way I wanted out of there that wasn't so easy also rob his death ahead everything health looks money everything there's nothing wrong now I had nothing and everything was
00:16:54wrong it went on for two years and are trying to get clean for you doing to try to close I went across the street Odyssey house joint Saudi talk image of groups they said you're you're like one of the worst cases and you're also positive you like dealing
00:17:16with death every hour you need to leave the apartment and move in here as it's just too rough for me I've never be able to handle it so I didn't but then I called up a place called Smithers the protocol was you'd call them every day for about
00:17:35ten days say I'm still here can you give me a bed every day much you got a few days on the year bell calling they say come up we will admit you anyway I went there and a girl woman named Mary which is a you gonna move in
00:17:52here with us I own you for thirty one days what I say you do or you can leave and it was of wakening cost she wake me up at six in the morning to go get breakfast and then attended prayer meeting she has a right and right and
00:18:09right about the stories of this addiction which took it to another level I have she was reading and **** saying what a maniac here are you practically broke you added control because you can't stop using your HIV positive and except as your partner is dead nobody wants to
00:18:28know if you realize the wreckage of your life up to this moment and I broke I just I was really aware of that ten and I'll tell you something they turned me around they really did they turn me on my feet and I was tender you know I
00:18:47didn't get sober still I still used after that a little and then I would feel like all kinds of terrible and finally I said Jerry you have to make up your mind I land lord saved me John surgeon been having a lot of trouble you bring home a
00:19:06lot of dereliction you're in trouble I said John I am really in trouble does not gonna help me by bringing these bombs home you've gotta faces and get clean you know me so you said you know well do give me your lease and I'll give you five thousand
00:19:23Bucks just sign these papers and I'll give you a money order for five grams you got a leaf could you not give the building and I helping yourself any was right the neighbors would be frightened of me everyone I get home from coming home late at night you
00:19:37hear the doors talking on the whole way Jerry's humped first because I was dangerous my apartment was sure as shooting gallery and was no way he ever I could stay there and try to get clean I mean I would have two days sobriety sometimes eleven but somebody would
00:19:57knock on the door a trick junkie say Mona party as a yeah get in and it was stopped again I start the cycle a friend who the care of Jimmy he lives in queens amendment meetings we always offered me a job driving a van so I said if
00:20:24I move out to queens I did get a job with those definitely but you gotta stay clean I moved here to real estate with the money I had left over and the five grand a rant here there was twenty years ago the house was filled the dirty check
00:20:43carpet but I loved it here right away I never and then have a phone here and I had no one to call if I had a phone and no one around and no I don't know anyone who was a sanctuary such are there will bring from that environment
00:21:01finally I got some time on them I felt I didn't have the temptation I went to meetings but never brought anyone back here with me even if they were so over a hundred years about ten years and have a soul in here he was a cab driver his
00:21:26father who was a cab driver arm was a cab driver when drones you can Jerry Jerry fair with the lease he drove the daytime shift and I drove night and he was right here so when I finished my shift that part right around the block and he picked
00:21:48it up in the morning and these are routine I had a new home a new life I'm just thankful yeah every night is an adventure New York City at night is from a madman's players really you drive as many as I did and it was going on when
00:22:18we see things that raspberry Jess murders and suicides lot of drugs a lot of sex in the backseat it was real one Chinese do with snow and heroin I know it has little kia and I could hear a man I know who use I could tell he was
00:22:37using heroin because it scratches head do this and I know it I didn't say anything did I have temptations no I I've fought them right off with him remembering what it was like I said now you are going to go back to that I'm nine sixty one I
00:23:06fifth there every year at the Pierre hotel it's raining I have a customer yellow cab red light and my cousins who's that and look what I pull down the window and look under the canopy of the year where they have the lamps those here lamb things and it
00:23:26is easy deal I never lived with her she always had a kerchief right never to see the extent of her baldness which is caused by out of the bridge but this night chooses wearing gold snake and let the vision beautiful or are they wrapped around the skull and
00:23:50she's a seem much told when I remember to be is saying is that now I really freaked me out somehow more than ever it was powerful mom and I'd never realize how absolutely unique she was completely so that night I know she was unique with I made a
00:24:12dis terrorism a rarity presence you know her eccentricity who's at its zenith that and there she is on the heaters and my customers against a host that and I said that CD deal she said was that if it never mind doing stand which she was so dynamically individual
00:24:38what an individual she was that was the last time I saw Edie Beale I still find it fascinating that they love to be a state I had no life to the full of them I had been bitten by my father has it shoplift food and they were for
00:25:13his complete opposite end of the social ladder I was a runaway from broke during my parents George of the city of New York you weren't raised in the same fashion or nearest as the movie a none of which there's close one after the other because of a virus
00:25:57and all of that is dark as it was as out of control as it was were all gone the corn is re smoke pot on the corners you dance in the bars that they were gone boys are like it was sad but it was like I was a
00:26:17ghost I witnessed things in these buildings these locations there were like I one time fun and memorable and had friends or family when I would drive past and I felt on the last one here and these are things I will cherish but I want to live to live
00:26:39on seem more stuff I don't want to be happy again I can't use said you're not going to **** this up talking to myself you're gonna take this seriously I had a really good opportunity which I cherished from I start again add medicine for the virus about now
00:27:13about twenty years now my best friend Wayne who listen unfortunately merited you god bless him he said to me I'm gonna start treatments and I said I'm not going to stop that death can be sick I'm strong out and **** was my fear of dying from it and
00:27:32I saw a photograph of that someone took me in the garden and I looks really I don't do not recognize me I love sick I mean I was dark in the eyes and tell viruses great and strong there but when I went to the doctors and have my
00:27:50legs read to me you said you have ninety million copies they will open the door one day is going to knock you dead I knew it wouldn't die of it but it until the doctor told me that you have ninety million copies says a lot of fires well
00:28:16I was living here and I was a bomb it was not anything special going on a ship that was at the gym I quit smoking and I was concerned systems clean and getting stronger I just need to have see with the new Habsi medicine there's been approved my
00:28:35HIV status is non detectable I could that spread if I want to do that which I wouldn't have less than fifty copies of the virus because of the meds I take the gym I go to the food I eat the liquor I don't drink drugs that don't take
00:28:54I'm determined not to get that illness aftershow Roberts going through that it freaks me out well at the end of March ruining my health at the end of the turbulent dark years of using I got strong enough to know how to guard myself through temptation that I can
00:29:30actually depend on may finally again I know to get up in the morning eat good and hit the gym that turns my day right into a good day look in a mirror you're the only one that can be happy you make it on happiness and that's it I
00:29:45can depend on myself to do that really the calmer of being compassionate good to people no attitude about it it really is the stuff that life is made of instructors were you meant you know we're not gonna be on this earth forever you know I I find compassion
00:30:06my strength to the life that I have lived I have finally found that I can depend on myself to live it for sure where's your car was stoned since nineteen eighty seven Robert I used to work in this the whole way the stairwell is building on a little
00:30:53bench wouldn't call Demeter master super hated my guts but I was carving marble there because it never place to do it ten years ago I registered for school because I don't have a voice to work I didn't have the guts to register in such a school because some
00:31:18of the consoles people went there worry listen steam went there Jackson Pollock home from a cab driver I'm gonna go there I didn't think I had it in me to stuff but the first year I started a car of him got a scholarship and I'm still using there
00:31:39I go there is an army I when I saw working and I'm not interrupted I forget who I am I don't think of things I'm absent of the world are just work it's great freedom is piece of real peace I mean I I will work myself to a
00:32:01beat army I worked ten hour days at school and it just armored dirty bomb and as a matter of full I can drive my work I got my tools that said you know it's really something I'm calling for is complete liberating to yield something out of it as
00:32:36difficult a medium as this is exactly what my life is banned this is discipline this is one subject and you don't have the discipline you wasting your time and you have to have perseverance you have to love it sort of like a reflection of life itself more your
00:32:55love life the more you work with when I do call mountains don't already include the people that love to me along side their symbols a single rose from Mrs Beale Edie from my parents are grapevine a granite stones and for me a form to standing sculpture of a
00:33:17small marble form that's it for everything stories and before we dive into the credits and since a lot of you have asked over the past few weeks Garrett is still here with us he's been down south working on a personal project but don't sweat it he'll be back
00:33:46in action soon this episode is produced by bart bar shop Polish van horn Daniel Nevada scarecrow Tyler ray and myself Mike Martinez music in this episode is provided by dance was any coca leaf and total control you can find links to their music on our website yeah S.
00:34:07radio dot O. R. G. and as always there's a visual component to each episode up on our website there you can find photos from Jerry's past and present with current photos taken by Sarah made so thanks a hell of fresh start comfort continually supporting everything a story and
00:34:25receive thirty dollars off your first week at deliveries when you go to hell for us dot com and use the offer code yes thirty special thanks to Frank Haynes and Jackie can play at the Jerry in his partner Ted for patiently working with us on the surface check
00:34:42out Jerry's memoir the marble faun of grey gardens it's out now on quarrel press the book was co written by film historian telling Mary Eddie and features an introduction by the acclaimed filmmaker Albert Maysles there's a link up on our website to purchase the book Gerry's first solo
00:35:00exhibition is up and running out the situations gallery in New York City the show runs until may thirtieth you can find more information about the show on our website and thanks for listening will be back soon with a new episode the reason jock straps are so attractive was
00:35:16because they were provocative looking I myself war one and then I designed my own little gizmo I know it was easy was like really cool people say what is that about no it was really a I could have been sold on the market one visualize it did everything
00:35:33I had a ball with

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