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ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Three cases affected Rod the most: his mother's murder, his brother's crime, and the murder of a boy named Nicholas. What happened to Nicholas and what brought Rod back together with his brother after fifteen years?

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00:00:00previously on detective first, so I couldn't think about anything else when I think about the case that the police officers fail on my mother's murder I don't think that I could ever do that
00:00:16we went to the police department and then I went to the sergeant at the desk assembly roses kill somebody
00:00:23my brother going to prison I don't think was nearly as tough on him as it was me
00:00:31due to the graphic nature of the content detective may not be suitable for all audiences it took me about 15 years before I even went to visit my brother in prison but I just was pretty angry about the decision that he made my grandparents, parents are gone and we're still here
00:00:51when you start to question Your Existence and your survival in God's grace like the how did I deserve this you realize that it's all in the plan
00:01:03that's detective Rod Demery throughout the season he shared his experiences as a homicide detective secrets of the trade memorable cases and his own personal stories of his mother's murder and brothers incarceration
00:01:18so where have his experiences let him what has he learned and how does he deal with guilt and forgiveness
00:01:28I'm garnsey Sloan for investigation discovery and this is season 3 of detective true stories from behind the yellow tape the ones you don't hear on TV
00:01:41this episode the season finale Redemption
00:01:48I worked a murder of a sailor related a lot to him because he's taking the same pass his name is Nicholas
00:01:57Palace Inn in the Navy and what aboard an aircraft carrier went out to see spent six seven months out on deployment came back to the States and came to see his parents in Shreveport or yelling out with some friends of his Nicholas was supposed to be going back to Norfolk Virginia but that money had been there about the same time a woman found an abandoned car and what are the Shreveport neighborhoods when I get there I locate all the evidence that the person in that car was dead his Navy uniform and a few other things basically what happened was on his way back you stopped to see a friend and that friend end up shooting and killing it
00:02:39but that case was just getting married so much in my life that it was probably one of the more difficult cases fact that he was reportedly got killed the fastest man it was just
00:02:57I mean I got angry in that case because I couldn't understand I feel for victims more than I probably should in the middle case but this this family was
00:03:13got there was a such wonderful people a couple of years later I had a son
00:03:21I knew that was going to name him Nicholas the night before Nicholas was born I had a murder that was working up infant
00:03:33the dad was mad at the the girlfriend and kill the baby While She Was Out the next day Nick's mom was going into labor and should I work at the hospital and I got a call from the corners office in that there were getting ready to do the autopsy on the hip I told her that I'll be back before you had Nick I promise I'll be back and I want to the autopsy and there I am watching this whole thing happened
00:04:00after that I went back to the hospital and Nicholas is being born I made it to his delivery and I could his umbilical cord
00:04:10after that I went to the jail where had the suspect on the Infant murder in interview then I got to go to confession a good story good evidence and close the case but I went home that night thinking while it was pretty overwhelming but it was kind of an insightful day I realized that point that God had a plan for everything he had a way of showing me were giving me the ability to appreciate life
00:04:39there's so many things wrapped up in that case in the murder young Nicholas the Sailor and then the murder of the seven and then the birth of my son it always seems kind of meeting on the same day not being able to appreciate the beauty without respect for the despair not been able to be overwhelmed by the spare without appreciate the beauty it's almost impossible for one to exist. The other
00:05:15before that day how did you view the world we are glass half empty glass half-full guy even though I worked any murders I seen a lot of death by that time I don't know I think that day I was probably more understanding of how things are going to work at accepting the fate of the reality that this is part of life
00:05:43I don't know I guess I just got to balance it out my mind my son's name that has a meaning
00:05:52how does necklace today 7 it's a good kid I'm old now and I'm patient and I'm present until I think that makes a big difference
00:06:04does Nicholas know what Dad does for a living he think of it thinks it's the coolest thing ever actually fascinated by it I hope it doesn't want to become a police officer if he doesn't I guess we have to accept having a child especially one who idolizes you can certainly bring some perspective to your life
00:06:26and kind of a strange way my children were the replacements for all the other things for all intents and purposes I lost my brother my car out of there and it's all the sudden have as family
00:06:40when you start to question Your Existence and your survival and God's grace like how did I deserve this you realize that it's all in the plan
00:06:57my grandparents, parents are going to
00:07:00we're still here while these kids came for a reason but family exist 5 years ago 10 years ago I would not have the same thought process I have now it's just the ability to show the existence of people that would never ever been known my mother in particular
00:07:18the Redemption
00:07:22I don't think I've ever parted from my spirituality it's always been there like a prodigal son
00:07:28even though you don't always do the right thing I think it's the intention is not going to be easy especially with my brother the most difficult thing in my life I still try to remain Facebook still try to do the right thing that's a difficult road but when you get to the end of if there's a reward
00:07:48what happens when Rod comes face-to-face with his brother for the first time since he was in prison for murder that's next
00:08:19Rod's brother Patrick came to him one night covered in blood asking for help once Rod convince Patrick to turn himself in for the murder he committed fraud left and didn't look back how could he forgive his brother for committing the worst crime imaginable one that makes a victim not only of the person who was killed but of their family and friends especially after having experienced at himself to the loss of their mother
00:08:48it took me probably about 15 years before I even went to visit my brother in prison because I just was
00:08:57pretty angry about it about the decision that he made
00:09:03I don't even know how to begin to make amends for something like that but you need to try it out one way or the other experience in that kind of lost experiencing the loss of you we are part of your soul part of your identity is torturous
00:09:19why my brother was in prison my grandparents died my great-grandmother died and it left me in a position where it was already difficult enough to deal with the challenges in that type of loss but I think my anger came to my brother wasn't there not necessarily just to support me but to assist in it so it just wish my great-grandmother and my grandparents were really up in age at that point so there is not a lot they could do my grandmother she had a stroke so she was a mobile
00:09:54and my grandfather had couple art attacks and prostate cancer all these other things with my great-grandmother died it was me who I didn't make it all these funeral arrangements in doing all that stuff
00:10:05I didn't really kind of pissed me off that my brother wasn't there
00:10:09it's a challenge when the one person who supposed to be left in the trenches with you can't be there due to his own actions
00:10:17I never looked at my brother's situation is him being a victim
00:10:21because I think the choices that he made or the decisions that he made he made them and something's going to have to deal with
00:10:28I look at a situation as more of a point of Abandonment and in anger
00:10:35it took me awhile to get over that 15 years actually did you forgive after 15 years or you just came to terms with us at the point that I have forgiven everybody in my life except him
00:10:50it's going to happen I was in Louisiana and a friend of mine was going to be on the Wheel of Fortune and she asked me to go after her game show I rented a car and I drove to go see my brother and that was
00:11:03it was an experience I mean it
00:11:05I called the prison and there was a lieutenant there and I told him my brother was locked up there and I want to come see him and he explained to me that you had to fill out all these forms as background investigation and blah blah blah that's almost going to be in town for a couple of days
00:11:21I said something that must have been love worth it to Oregon head gasket set up and he said come on down we'll get it worked out so they kind of push me up I went in and saw him and he had no idea that I was coming to you it wasn't expecting me at all he doesn't know you're coming and he he gets called out into the was it through a glass or was the common restaurant so what was that moment like I felt really good and I did
00:11:57was he shocked to see you. Let it all I got my brother is so sappy what's the hug and all that stuff and I forgave him at that point
00:12:21we sat down and we talked about nothing you know we talked about like remember whoever and yeah stuff like that so it was it was a great conversation comes by and he's got tattoos on his neck and his face is like a monster and he cross between tulips and he looked at my brother and said excuse me
00:12:55that's the damn still badass video
00:12:59so be a pizza and whatever else they had the beta machine we took some pictures and I left
00:13:07we communicate I talked to him yesterday actually we will rather we talk a lot now but I didn't.
00:13:16What year was that 2007 maybe I actually don't have any desire to go back
00:13:28I can say that I've always loved our brother always love my brother but some of the things you did I just hit like
00:13:38although I can forgive my brother and communicate with him and I do anything I can for him
00:13:43I think the choice that he made is his choice
00:13:52it's not that I don't feel for my brother because God I mean daily and I worry about my brother
00:14:00I can love my brother and not accept that
00:14:10I think the fact that monthly I can make sure that he can call or he can have the things he needs is probably enough
00:14:21leaving my life and my family to visit a Penitentiary on a monthly basis this is not something that I'm going to do
00:14:29because you don't have to do it
00:14:32I think part of my going to see him after 15 years was guilt
00:14:37and where I resolved my forgiveness for my brother all Suites all my guilt and realize that I didn't do what he did it and it's a choice
00:14:52I do better for my brother take care of my niece
00:14:56or we talk and I don't think I do any good sharing his prison experience when does he get out real soon actually think he's up for boards maybe a year it's been in prison for 22 years.
00:15:13I'm assisting with that making sure he has an attorney and in a competent attorney when it comes to the board will you vouch for him will you say as a member of law enforcement I will watch his back
00:15:32I think when my brother if he does get paroled or or gets out of prison he's going to be his own man in living his own world that I'm living but I can't in good conscience and I just my brother anybody say that I think somebody should or should not be in prison after they've been through the system and then adjudicated through that system I think that's the system to decision it's just that was my brother us with anybody you know is murder cases of people go to prison or or whatever the case maybe that's the the justice system decision I can't be held responsible for anybody
00:16:10Ellie and I had a great conversation I was he called me one day and we were talking about our mother in our growing up and
00:16:22he said you know he was always angry with you right now is this whole life and
00:16:30he told me that he didn't realize why he killed a person and I told him well I do for you even want to kill Jerry all your life
00:16:41the guy was Jerry in your mind at that particular point in time it was all that rays that have been built up
00:16:50when Rod told Patrick the truth about Jerry it seemed to help him cope to
00:16:55I think that was really I think it was relieved that I did the sergeant found out the circumstances at the same time I think it already made up in his mind or brother is very smart. I think my brother knew the circumstances probably will long will before I did and
00:17:14yeah I think my telephone was just confirmation
00:17:19did he have any peace in the knowledge of the circumstances finally knowing after all these years I think Patrick now is good to the last few months so yeah I've talked he is definitely at peace with everything in his life he talks as if he is it talks about her father talks about our grandparents he talks about growing up
00:17:46I think the only thing that really troubles my brother at this point in his life is affected in that relationship with his daughter I think at some point he wants to repair it. Definitely done my part to try to make that happen and I think if and what I do go visit my brother is going to be to take my niece she's not ready to forgive my niece has my personality
00:18:09my brother always says that um yeah I think she's your child cuz she's just like you and no but I talked to righteous I laugh at some of the things she says because she sees things the way I see him she's the world the way I see it I think maybe she and I have similar emotional personalities because she lost my brother when she was a kid so she didn't really have any memory of it I guess cuz I understand I've been there
00:18:36did I don't even know that she realizes that she doesn't forgive him I think she just believes that she just doesn't know him but I think the reality is that she's dealing with issues of Abandonment and questions why all those things it's going to be at her own time but the last conversation she and I had about going to see my brother she said she would go with me yeah that's a huge step
00:18:59I actually put on the phone together
00:19:02I think that's the only thing he's trying to resolve I think he's even expressed his extreme remorse for what he's done and then the first time in the whole time he's been in prison I heard them talking about that and I think the only thing he's trying to figure out now is how he can repair his relationship with his daughter
00:19:20and you know like I said I got to get my brother for the things that he's done to me but I can't everybody else and know what I attempt to
00:19:30girls experiences both professional and personal Rodger seen a lot of the worst Humanity has to offer but he somehow still manages to find an upside to it all
00:19:42I think the thing that I learned most is that I don't think there's anybody that has a perfect situation or perfect family are perfect structure or any like that kind of have to nurture the things that you can actually remember when I came to that Epiphany I was driving down the street and I was listening to the radio and it was about the time Tim McGraw came out with that live like you're dying song and I started to feel more New Mexico than ever country music is kind of home and that's listening to the lyric and it was just got a while
00:20:17what makes you think about a lot of things you know in there a lot of people in your life that probably needed you and you weren't there and just says you need people they're not there then they feel the same things
00:20:29when I resolve my issues of forgiveness house result they should have killed just as the man who killed my mother I pray for him I pray for my brother and
00:20:42but all I can do actually
00:20:50detective is part of the panoply Network and was made for America's leading mystery and suspense Network investigation discovery by defacto Sound by sound design team dedicated to making television film games some insanely cool it was produced by Milan Fitzwater barrows withheld from Stephanie Wilks production oversight by producers Emily kieser and Elizabeth Stephenson an executive producer Amy and Jello it's garnsey Sloan and Lorna Thomas it was recorded by chip Sobek additional recording and mix by Kenneth Gilbert original music was composed by Chris Kennedy cover art was designed by Don Glatt special thanks to detective Rod Demery for sharing his story with us as well as Shaun barrowes Anastasia Brown Judy Fitzwater Hillary has good Shapiro Heather Holleman Sam Shibley Ash The Villa in Dallas Taylor subscribe on iTunes to get new episodes of detective on your feed and if you like the podcast rate and review it
00:21:48check out detective Rod Demery is new television show murder chose me only on Investigation Discovery I'm your host garnsey Sloan thanks for listening

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