TRANSCRIPT 🔗
00:00:02
Speaker 1: What do you call a fight between Elon Musk and an introverted social media user alien versus redditor. Gwen Stefani has sixteen point three million Instagram followers and only follows one one hundred twenty six accounts because she ain't no follow back girl. I heard Mike Tyson will be launching a Christian dedicated social media site. He's calling it Faithbook. Thanos has a favorite social media company, Snapchat. Thought I got followed by the official Hanson Twitter account, but it turned out to be an humbad. I told my son Facebook is changing its name to meta. He asked, what's a meta? I said, nothing, what's the metal with you? I always wonder what people did for fun before we had social media, the Web and the Internet. So I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters what our parents did, and they didn't know either. Mockingbirds are terrible at social media. All they ever do is retweet. My neighbor is stalking me by looking me up on Google and checking my social media every hour. I saw it through my telescope last night. Elon must bought Twitter for forty three billion dollars. Meanwhile, all I did was just downloaded for free from the app Store. For my birthday, my wife got me a book about social media. It was a sweet gesture, but I already read it. I've been searching all over YouTube for my favorite You Two song, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for. What do you call a virus with a big social media presence an influenza? What do you call a social media platform for elderly single women? Spinster Graham. I always use a picture of me in a giant pot of chicken broth for my social media. It's just a stock photo. My friend is a pretty unsuccessful farmer, but he tries a lot to promote his business on social media by providing a new profile picture every three months. Unfortunately, the picture always seems to have his head or side chopped off a bit. Another season, another bad crop. My friend is addicted to taking pictures of his breakfast and posting it on social media. He is a serial reposter. What's a clockmaker's favorite social media site? TikTok? What did the doctor say to the man with the social media addiction? I am very sorry, sir, I am afraid your condition is not tweetable. How do you easily complete a family tree post on social media that you won the lottery. Why did the military general refuse to use social media? It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet. I'm a utilitarian when it comes to social media. The ends justify the memes. What do you call back pain from being on social media for long periods of time? Scroll iosis. I'm thinking about starting a social media network for chickens, but not as a full time job, just as a way to make hens meat. If all social media came to an end, it would be post apocalyptic. My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well two can play at that game. Today, I got kicked out of my flat Earth Facebook group. I just wanted to know if the six feet apart social distance in Guideline was pushing anyone over the edge. A man walks into his doctor's office and says, doctor, I think I'm addicted to Twitter. The doctor looks at him and says, sorry, I don't follow you. Why don't Twitter users make good soldiers? They are always too quick to retweet? How do alligators communicate through Snapchat? What do my underwear and snapchat have in common? Streaks? Do you know why the director of the Secret Service's job at Snapchat because he's good at making things disappear. I just switched from TikTok to Instagram for reels. What do you call a YouTuber who is a werewolf? A liken? Subscribe? I saw a YouTuber having a manicure. She had a great thumbnail. What do famous YouTube use when they go phishing? Click b I'm Montgomery Jones and that's the top dad jokes for social media day. I'm on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide, so please share these jokes with your family and friends. Thanks. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check the sign up link in the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. Do you have your own dad joke you want to share? Join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread the laughs and groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail with the best ones to be included in special fan episodes, just leave your name, the city and state you live in, and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number. It's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six, or check the show notes page for the number. I'll look forward to hearing from you. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits.