Full Transcript for Episode 78: Why Vulnerability Wins in Networking with Rebeccah Silence

this persona, this survival self that I like to call it, that we've created to try to keep ourselves safe and try to put out there the version of ourselves that we think people need us to be. 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:23.280 But there's also this healed you that most people have never met yet. 00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:31.120 Meaning the healed version of yourselves knows yourself, trusts yourself, is safe being vulnerable and fully yourself. 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:39.360 And when you're that you, it radiates so much more powerfully than anything you can say or any boxes or achievements that you could check. 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:41.120 We want to feel you. 00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:47.599 What is that moment like where somebody gets to meet their healed self for maybe the first time in a long time? 00:02:48.000 --> 00:03:08.319 You know, I've been helping people heal since 2002, and I do get, you know, some of the most wild cases, but also I work with the most successful entrepreneurs and that moment where they relax into feeling safe, owning their power, and just owning who they are, there is nothing more magical or delicious. 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:13.680 There's nothing better than really recognizing it is safe to be myself. 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:16.159 And nobody can take that away from me. 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:22.560 So many people think this person is safe to be myself with this person isn't, and they pick and choose. 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:33.039 But when you're just yourself and not trying to figure out who do I have to be in my marriage, who do I have to be in my business, who do I have to be with my family of origin, who do I have to be at a networking event. 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:37.919 When you just get to be you everywhere you go, that's freedom. 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:41.039 Well, I don't think people are free to be themselves. 00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:46.560 Like well, I think we've all learned like what emotions are acceptable and what emotions aren't. 00:03:46.879 --> 00:03:53.599 And we have learned to, again, pick and choose where we think it's safe to be who we are. 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:56.080 And that starts so young. 00:03:56.479 --> 00:03:58.719 And it really is just a decision. 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:04.719 You know, I'm the coach that says you don't need a breakdown to break through, you don't need a crisis moment. 00:04:04.879 --> 00:04:07.120 I'm a cancer survivor, as you know. 00:04:07.439 --> 00:04:12.560 I beat cancer with a 5% chance after being diagnosed while I was pregnant. 00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:15.759 And so now it's like my life is just divine assignment. 00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:23.759 I don't want it to take something that severe or dramatic for you just to decide, you know, this is my life. 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:26.639 How about I live it as me and risk that? 00:04:26.800 --> 00:04:38.800 It can literally just be a decision, as you're listening to Andrew and I right now, that I'm gonna meet the highest, wisest,

most capable version of me and let that me run my life from here on out. 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:40.639 That's uh exciting at a point. 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:42.560 I'm like, what is the highest version of me? 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:46.079 Um and what would that be capable of? 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:48.800 Uh, you know, especially as a leader, a business owner. 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:52.959 Um that that's a powerful question to have. 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:56.319 So how do you how do you discover that uh other than working with you? 00:04:56.560 --> 00:05:01.680 But like what are some of the first steps in like discovering what your highest level of yourself looks like? 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:04.480 Well, I'm gonna say you should be in my world, right? 00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:16.720 If this is appealing and attractive to you, so the first step is go to Amazon and buy my book, Coming Back to Life, because it literally is a roadmap to heal into who you're capable of becoming. 00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:27.279 And one of my mentors, Ed Milette, he talks about like the definition of hell is if you got to the end of your life and met the version of yourself that you were capable of becoming, but you never did. 00:05:27.519 --> 00:05:33.040 So definitely go to the unsilentwoman.com, get the book Coming Back to Life. 00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:41.519 But then from there, I just want you to recognize you're supposed to feel good in your mind, body, and spirit. 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:45.920 And if you're not feeling good, something's misaligned. 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:47.439 You're being fake somewhere. 00:05:47.519 --> 00:05:50.800 You're putting pressure on yourself to be somebody you're not. 00:05:50.959 --> 00:05:59.279 So where I like to start is if you know what you don't want and how you don't want to feel, guess at what the opposite would be, right? 00:05:59.439 --> 00:06:00.879 How do you want to feel? 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:04.959 And what do you want is connected to what you know you don't want. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:07.680 Because that's one of the hardest questions I ask people, right? 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:09.040 Is what do you want? 00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:10.079 They don't know. 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:16.800 They know who they think they need to be, but they don't know what would make them come alive or what would make their soul sing. 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:19.360 So if you know what you don't want, you know what you want. 00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:26.000 It's an interesting way, because people get fed up uh or at least uncomfortable enough to do something about it. 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:29.120 Um but what does that transformation look like? 00:06:29.279 --> 00:06:30.160 Where is it leading to you? 00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:33.680 Well, maybe they've never experienced it, so it's hard to even believe or imagine. 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:38.959 But uh, I guess take me through somebody who hasn't felt healed in a long time. 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:41.199 What are some themes that they're working about? 00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:46.720 And then the opposite of that, what does healing really feel like in a day-to-day? 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:50.079 Yeah, let me just walk you through a case study of a current client, right? 00:06:50.319 --> 00:06:53.920 So we're gonna call her Lauren right now for confidentiality purposes. 00:06:54.160 --> 00:07:07.279 But this woman is making millions of dollars in real estate and just got cheated on by her husband and went through a brutal divorce and feels like everything she thought she did right was for nothing. 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:13.519 And now, instead of just trying to achieve more, she wants to feel peace. 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:15.920 She wants to enjoy her life. 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:23.279 So there's this dark night of the soul as she's coming to me, and she doesn't want to let go of the success that she's built. 00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:25.920 And I call it high-functioning unhappiness, right? 00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:31.519 She's coming to me with high-functioning unhappiness that just isn't worth it anymore. 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:33.519 Like people would view her as a success. 00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:35.439 Everybody wants her life. 00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:35.759 Yeah. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:39.839 Everybody, even with the divorce, they would give anything to be her. 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:52.639 Because she has the money, she has the status, she has the body, she has the reputation, and she's actually an elected official and the mayor in her community, literally, while also having this thriving multi-million dollar real estate business. 00:07:52.959 --> 00:07:56.399 So she comes to me and just something has to give, right? 00:07:56.560 --> 00:08:07.759 So what I am essentially giving her the keys to is permission to just set herself free and figure out what she wants and how she wants to live her life. 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:15.439 So in a very short period of time, she's given up achievement as the way to be successful. 00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:21.360 And now we're looking at new success metrics in terms of all right, how much energy do I have? 00:08:21.519 --> 00:08:22.639 How much peace do I have? 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:24.079 How much happiness do I have? 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:27.439 And so many of you think happiness isn't real. 00:08:27.759 --> 00:08:29.920 There's no way to actually get happy. 00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:37.039 And I'm just gonna live in spite of my past and in spite of the pressure that the success I'm after cost me. 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:43.440 So, in a very short period of time, Lauren now has built a second business. 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:58.799 So real estate is working well with agents underneath her, and she wants to be an actual personal coach like me that had her own proprietary process that teaches people for this client how to actually rest in joy. 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:03.600 Her tagline that we created together with me

as her coach was it gets to be joyful. 00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:05.759 So now she gets to go first, right? 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:09.679 And what does joy mean to her and what would bring her joy and just play with that? 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:11.600 Is this joy or isn't it? 00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:13.919 She also hired me for all of her kids. 00:09:14.159 --> 00:09:20.879 And so now she's also telling me like this last holiday season, Thanksgiving and Christmas, it was the most connected. 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:25.840 It was the most emotionally powerful holiday she's ever had. 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:35.600 The conversations they're having, the ability to be present with each other, the ability to actually feel safe being themselves and learn about each other and enjoy each other. 00:09:35.759 --> 00:09:37.440 Her family had never had that before. 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:46.000 What um that point where they they want the transformation, they're they're seeing in it. 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:54.320 Um, I I see somebody, Rebecca, where they they actually hold on to the stories of their trauma and it's a way for them to that's a survival mechanism. 00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:55.120 Sure. 00:09:55.600 --> 00:10:03.279 Um what is that process of letting go of those kind of stories and giving them up and moving into healing? 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:03.840 Yeah. 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:13.279 Well, before I answer that, just understand for most of us as adults, life still feels how it felt growing up in our home as a child, right? 00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:20.240 So most people don't know that's happening, and or if they do, they don't know they could have anything different. 00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:27.919 So when we let go of survival, what nobody else is gonna tell you is it literally will feel like you're dying, but you're not. 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:29.039 It's your ego. 00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:39.759 And it's about, again, risking feeling safe enough to just let yourself be seen and heard and felt for who you are, not who you're expected to be. 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.720 So that is a little bit of a dark night of the soul, right? 00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:44.320 And my work isn't for everybody. 00:10:44.720 --> 00:10:55.039 Business Insider name me the top emotional health and relationship coach in the world for how quickly I can help people heal into freedom personally and professionally and just have a life that's theirs. 00:10:55.360 --> 00:11:03.279 But most people aren't gonna be brave enough, quite frankly, to say yes to letting go of who they've been and how it's been. 00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:12.159 And letting go of who you've been and how it's been does not mean you're leaving your spouse or shutting down your business or burning it all down. 00:11:12.399 --> 00:11:18.159 It means before you do that, in the name of trying to figure out how to be free. 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:23.919 Now you just have to get really honest about where you're being honest and where you're not. 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:30.399 And so what I teach is the practice of emotional healing, which means I make it super simple. 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:31.759 There's only five emotions. 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:32.240 Okay. 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:37.039 And if you have a healthy relationship with these five emotions, you're free. 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:41.600 Anger, fear, grief, joy, excitement. 00:11:41.919 --> 00:11:47.120 So you have to feel what you don't think you could survive feeling. 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:50.480 So you can make some decisions about what life looks like now. 00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:52.960 Most people aren't going to be brave enough to do that work. 00:11:53.120 --> 00:12:05.679 But those that will, I offer a 12-week transformation where you can meet a next level you and a next level of peace and joy and happiness in 90 days beyond what you could even fathom. 00:12:05.919 --> 00:12:08.960 So it's right here for you if you want it. 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:11.600 A lot of people think I need to go to years of therapy to undo. 00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:13.200 No way, it doesn't work. 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:14.480 It doesn't work. 00:12:14.559 --> 00:12:19.679 You're gonna find a way to manage and cope with who you've been and how you're living and what you've been through. 00:12:19.840 --> 00:12:21.679 But I don't want you managing or coping. 00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:24.000 And I don't want you to understand more, right? 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:27.279 Like this is a very sophisticated audience that you have, right? 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.399 And I'm so honored to know you and the people that you know. 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:33.919 We are talking about real badasses, right? 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:34.240 Already. 00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:35.120 Yeah, of course. 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:37.279 Are you having enough fun, right? 00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:38.960 Is your life yours? 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:41.279 So nothing is wrong with you. 00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:47.440 But if you will say yes to, you you've been through enough, you've created enough success. 00:12:47.679 --> 00:12:54.799 And now it's about standing out in a way where you're willing to risk being misunderstood or not liked. 00:12:55.039 --> 00:12:58.399 And you're ready for alignment over achievement. 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:03.039 Like if that's you, you came to this episode on purpose. 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:04.000 Absolutely. 00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:14.399 Well, as a as a leader of a business, how how would you advise um, let's say I'm a boss and one of my employees had a like a loss of a child or something super tragic. 00:13:14.559 --> 00:13:22.799 Um, as a as a leader or something, who who can you be just to help um the workplace environment, help your support your employee, that those kind of things? 00:13:23.120 --> 00:13:23.360 Yeah. 00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:36.559 We have to stop being willing to just put in the closet, right, all of what we're going through

because we don't want to deal with it at work or we don't want it to affect work because it is affecting work, right? 00:13:36.639 --> 00:13:44.080 I literally have a client who's a business owner who had a child at five years old die in a tragic construction accident, right? 00:13:44.240 --> 00:13:51.759 And she's coming to me, and now we've got a whole nonprofit named after this son that she lost. 00:13:51.919 --> 00:14:00.000 I want you to learn how to use every trauma, every heartbreak as rocket fuel so you can serve more, right? 00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:06.720 It's all about how can I be as of service, the most of service with the lives in front of me. 00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:10.879 And if I haven't processed my crap, that isn't possible. 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:21.200 But then I can even use the most painful places and most tender places I've been and what I've been through to my advantage in a way where I can serve more. 00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:25.600 So that again, the the your trauma is rocket fuel and unpack that a little bit more. 00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:28.639 I'm wanting us to get trauma is just heartbreak, right? 00:14:28.720 --> 00:14:32.799 Like if I'm defining healing as freedom, I'm defining trauma as heartbreak. 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:38.080 So I want you, using every heartbreak as rocket fuel, to serve more. 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:39.919 And how do we do that? 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:43.840 We lean in where we want to lean out. 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:46.240 And again, you can't heal in your mind. 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:52.720 So somebody or a traditional therapy environment, which isn't bad, it can help you understand. 00:14:53.200 --> 00:15:02.080 But I want you to take it where you're willing to be in your body, feeling and processing what nobody has been able to help you fully process. 00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:06.799 And then we transmute it into real, genuine service. 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:22.480 So tell let's hypothetically, let's say there's like a business partner situation and some kind of trauma is holding back communication for you as a partnership or uh like a board or you know, a C-suite where they're it's in the way. 00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:22.960 Yeah. 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:27.840 Um, how do you have the tough conversation that you're like, hey, you need to go see Rebecca, or hey, we need to deal with the. 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:29.039 Well, well, here's the deal. 00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:41.360 If you can't recognize the situation is the is is not the problem and that you're triggered, then we really are only going to be able to do about 10% of what you're capable of in business. 00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:49.039 So what I mean by that is whoever is pissing you off or hurting you or confronting you, they aren't the problem. 00:15:49.279 --> 00:15:53.519 They're giving you access to a pattern that's there with or without them. 00:15:53.759 --> 00:16:04.399 So this person that right now has you up at night, they're your step parent growing up, or your sibling, or the mean teacher. 00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:05.679 They're not the problem. 00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:12.080 They're giving you access to a trigger that you quite frankly don't know how to make your biatch yet. 00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:12.480 Right. 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:16.159 So I do a great keynote called Make Your Triggers Your Biatch. 00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:20.480 And I'm literally teaching you, wait a minute, this is real, right? 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:32.639 Like I'm not giving people a free pass to behave badly, but how it's affecting you emotionally, you need to know this trigger is there because again, it's a pattern. 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:43.360 So when I'm willing to take it off of this person, my upset, and actually be more me because I processed the trigger and broke through the pattern. 00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:51.440 My God, can you imagine if you were willing to take every trigger and look at it like, wow, I needed to know what that pattern was. 00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:53.200 And I'm gonna be more me, right? 00:16:53.360 --> 00:17:04.559 We talked at the beginning of the episode about there is this highest, wisest, most healed you inside of you that you don't know yet and you don't trust yet, and you don't feel safe with yet. 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:14.720 So when I come in and I work with a board or a C-suite or a business partnership, just like a marriage partnership, that we're at an impasse. 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:19.599 What I'm helping us see is we both have an opportunity to heal. 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:25.119 And from there we get to meet each other all over again and ourselves all over again. 00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:38.079 And now we can create new solutions and new agreements that work for both of us, where we're not just recycling our pain, playing out the pattern, trying to have a solution that's a band-aid, but then I take my pattern with me. 00:17:38.799 --> 00:17:39.039 Right? 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:44.400 Don't end a partnership or a business or a marriage when you're still triggered. 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:46.000 And how do you know you're triggered? 00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:47.039 You're upset. 00:17:47.920 --> 00:18:02.319 That's good news to be so aware that you're upset, that you face it, move through it, conquer it, make it your biatch, and now you're more you on the other side of it, and more equipped to be of service and more ready to be profoundly connected. 00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:09.359 I think in networking, and it's triggering in a way that like some people are deeply afraid of public speaking. 00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:14.000 Maybe, maybe as a kid they spoke and and they were like told they're stupid. 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:18.960 Now that now every time the mic is passed, there's that fear uh with them. 00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:25.839 Or um being vulnerable enough to make actually a connection that's not a superficial one. 00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:33.599 Um in a networking sense,

what are some steps uh to overcome maybe some of those things holding you back? 00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:40.240 Well, so what I would say is to start, don't make it about you and your weird insecurities. 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:44.480 Make it about who is in front of you and fall in love with them. 00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:46.480 I fall in love with everybody I meet. 00:18:46.640 --> 00:18:47.680 I fell in love with you right away. 00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:50.640 And we were not superficial when we first met, right? 00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:52.480 Like we went deep and we got real. 00:18:52.640 --> 00:18:54.079 And I love that. 00:18:54.319 --> 00:19:00.000 But I am here to get to know you and to feel your heart and to let you feel mine. 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:07.279 And I want to find out what's at least one way I can support and honor you and what's most important to you. 00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:16.480 So so many of you are going into the workplace or a networking event, and you're just all about yourself and your insecurities, and you don't mean to be. 00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:25.119 And I say this with love and no judgment, but instead of all that, just focus on falling in love with the person in front of you and finding a way to serve them. 00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:27.119 Well, that's you're right. 00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:28.640 You brought up one of our first conversations. 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:37.759 I was at children's hospital, uh, overcoming uh my my daughter was there, and you connected with me in a way that, hey, I'm also a cancer survivor. 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:43.200 Gave me some peace around that to have uh, you know, that somebody else I'm talking to is going through it. 00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:44.960 But it's never an easy thing. 00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:47.440 Uh you know, so take me to that point. 00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:49.279 You're seven months pregnant. 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:50.000 Yeah. 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:54.160 Um, you know, uh, did you feel something was wrong? 00:19:54.480 --> 00:20:01.440 Were you going to doctors and then getting the news that hey, it's cancer and odds aren't great. 00:20:01.680 --> 00:20:04.559 Um what was that moment like? 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:06.079 What was going on in the background? 00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:09.279 And then what all of a sudden changed at that moment? 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:13.440 So at the time, I had blown up. 00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:22.160 I was on the radio, I had a six-month wait list with my private practice, and I was seeing 10 clients a day, seven days a week. 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:28.799 I was very much at that time all about what I call achievement paradigms, right? 00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:34.079 I had to find a way to have a right to take up space in my life. 00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:43.920 And so I was coaching a plastic surgeon and his wife, and in this session, I didn't have time to think about was anything wrong? 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:49.119 I was just focused on the next achievement, the next achievement, right? 00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:52.559 So my plastic surgeon and his wife, they're sitting in front of me. 00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:57.039 And at the end of the session, they say, Listen, you saved our marriage and you saved our family. 00:20:57.279 --> 00:20:59.119 And there's this thing on your arm. 00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.119 And please let us help you. 00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:03.119 Will you come to the clinic at 7 a.m. 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:03.519 tomorrow? 00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:07.440 Let us take this off, let us biopsy it and help you. 00:21:07.599 --> 00:21:10.559 You've done so much for us, and there's something wrong with this. 00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:15.519 And did I know something was wrong with this mole on my arm? 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:16.559 Sure. 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:19.519 It was changing, it looked terrible. 00:21:19.759 --> 00:21:21.759 Did I have time to deal with it? 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:22.240 No. 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:30.799 And three years before, I had asked my primary for a dermatology referral for this black mole on my arm, and he said I was fine. 00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:32.480 He wouldn't give me the referral. 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:34.960 And in my brain, I was like, great, I'm busy. 00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.319 I did my part. 00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:42.000 So from there, that that was the beginning of like, yeah, I'm gonna have to face this. 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:51.279 Then once I got the results of the biopsy and found out it was malignant melanoma, that was really the moment where it felt like the sky was falling. 00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:51.759 Yeah. 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:54.720 And like the world was crashing down all around me. 00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:55.039 Right. 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:59.680 And, you know, what I knew was that I was never gonna be the same again in my life. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.759 Was never going to be the same again. 00:22:02.079 --> 00:22:04.880 But there's nothing I can't handle. 00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:09.039 And you know, another big part of my story, and it's a lot, right? 00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:10.720 So I'll just be frank. 00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.640 I grew up in domestic violence. 00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:19.920 So because of that, I ended up in my first marriage, in my own domestic violence marriage. 00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:25.759 And I got out with a two-year-old and became a single mom, went bankrupt, figured it out. 00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:32.960 And at the time I knew, all right, this is a malignant melanoma and this isn't good, right? 00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:37.839 I already knew what I was capable of in terms of resilience. 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:45.440 And I knew based on what I'd created with the practice of emotional healing, my job was gonna be to live what I'd been teaching. 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:52.240 And I literally heard what I call God say to me, Rebecca, it's easy to be this badass, right? 00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:54.880 Like

this version of you when everything's going your way. 00:22:55.039 --> 00:22:55.920 I was married again. 00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:57.440 It was a dream come true. 00:22:57.680 --> 00:22:59.200 But who are you gonna be now? 00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:11.279 Now is the time to live what you teach that you've been given and to just walk it out as the best of you, practicing emotional healing. 00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:14.559 And it's one step at a time with my practice of emotional healing. 00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:16.000 We don't get too far ahead of ourselves. 00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:19.519 So I knew what I'd already been through that had prepared me. 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:22.960 So the healed me was already in charge of the mission called my life. 00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:25.599 This wasn't another opportunity to heal past drama. 00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:26.640 That was done. 00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:29.680 Now it was the opportunity to be who I said I was. 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:37.279 That that flip between like when you're playing life on offense to all of a sudden something happens, it's not in your control playing on defense. 00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:46.160 But if you're still a healed person or powerful person, like you actually can handle the defense even though it wasn't something you were expecting to go through. 00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:47.200 That's powerful. 00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:48.079 Uh yeah. 00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:50.000 Or you can stay on offense. 00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:51.519 You could stay on offense even more. 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:56.079 In the moment where most people would go into defense mode and self-protection. 00:23:56.319 --> 00:23:59.279 I didn't go into defense or self-protection. 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:00.960 I kept my heart open. 00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:05.039 I was so willing to be with whatever emotion of the moment was present. 00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:08.240 Because 100% of the time we are emotional creatures. 00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:12.160 So anger, fear, grief, joy, or excitement is present. 00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:18.559 And when I'm able to be with the dark, the anger, fear, and the grief, joy and excitement get to be the rule. 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:25.200 And so I was unwilling to not have that be the case even as I fought for my life with a 5% chance. 00:24:25.519 --> 00:24:26.160 Wow. 00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:31.279 And then what what would you say is the main reasons you beat the odds? 00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:35.920 I have a divine assignment that I'm supposed to still be here. 00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:37.519 Like I think it's bigger than me. 00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:38.000 Yeah. 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:39.200 I really, really do. 00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:41.440 You know, I don't think I caused the cancer. 00:24:41.599 --> 00:24:49.039 I don't think I cured the cancer, but I think cancer was the perfect storm for me to get my priorities in order, right? 00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:52.079 There's no more 10 clients a day, seven days a week.

00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:52.400 Yeah. 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:52.799 Right. 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:57.359 I cherry pick my high-end clients that pay me a premium because they get it. 00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:02.640 They get life is precious and they want to give the people they care about the best version of themselves. 00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:03.119 Right. 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:06.000 But I needed priorities in order. 00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:17.440 And it also proved to me that my practice of emotional healing is pretty much the most powerful healing methodology on the planet, which I've been given Global awards recognizing me for that. 00:25:17.680 --> 00:25:20.400 And, you know, I just never know, right? 00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:24.400 Like we have time until we don't. 00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:36.480 And so for me, emotional healing gives me so much more time back and a way to be powerfully relaxed and joyful as the rule, and the best of me as the rule. 00:25:36.720 --> 00:25:40.319 And I just think I'm obviously supposed to be here because I am. 00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:41.440 I love it. 00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:42.079 I love it. 00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:43.519 Well, thank you so much for sharing. 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:43.839 Yeah. 00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:52.799 You know, whether you're a business owner, maybe uh uh a high performer or somebody who just is Googling something and this podcast showed up. 00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:57.279 Um, and maybe they're not talking about it publicly, but there's something going on. 00:25:57.519 --> 00:25:57.680 Sure. 00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:02.240 What is the best way for people to approach your world, get connected to you? 00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:03.039 Yeah. 00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:06.319 Well, I want to give a gift to everybody listening today. 00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:17.680 Because if you made it this far, there's something in you that's ready to release any stress, any suffering, any emotional baggage or turmoil that you just don't need, right? 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:21.200 And we we've all been told the work of healing is never done. 00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:24.079 And that is a bold-faced lie. 00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:26.400 When I am your coach, you fully heal. 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:30.799 Healing is permanent, and you feel better than you can even fathom, right? 00:26:31.119 --> 00:27:01.839 So if you're attracted to this discussion today, follow me on Instagram at Rebecca Silence and just DM me CPR, and I will send you my free emotional CPR masterclass to teach you a whole next level of nervous system regulation and access to joy and excitement being the rule you live by, and to really give you a way to get beyond fight flight freeze and into real emotional healing. 00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:16.079 So that would be a perfect next step is just follow me on Instagram at Rebecca Silence, DM me CPR, and I will send you a masterclass that will help you at home and in business, and then we'll stay connected from there. 00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:22.880 You can also check out the unsilentwoman.com or go to Amazon and order Coming Back to Life right now. 00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:23.759 Awesome. 00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:31.039 Well, I think we both agree if the world was a more healed place, the networking environment would be a lot healthier as well. 00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:33.039 So thanks so much for coming on the show. 00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:34.720 We'll see you around Northern Colorado. 00:27:34.960 --> 00:27:35.759 Yeah, thanks everybody. 00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:37.039 I can't wait to meet you. 00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:39.279 Hey all, thanks for watching. 00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:45.279 I love networking and building relationships with other Northern Colorado business leaders. 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:52.480 So if you want to come meet some of these podcast guests, meet me or meet some other amazing entrepreneurs in Northern Colorado. 00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:55.599 I would love to have you attend one of our next events. 00:27:55.759 --> 00:27:57.839 Uh, go in the podcast description. 00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:00.640 There's a way so that you can see our upcoming schedule. 00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:04.480 And maybe you could be a future podcast guest as well. 00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:05.519 Thanks.