Full Transcript for Molly Shannon

00:03:37.090 --> 00:03:39.550 with you just because I wouldn't need a whistle. You 81 00:03:39.590 --> 00:03:44.090 could just start in a normal conversational tone saying, hmm, 82 00:03:44.409 --> 00:03:47.069 maybe we should get lunch and park rangers would hear 83 00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:48.240 you nine miles away. 84 00:03:48.710 --> 00:03:51.310 I will say that I'm recording at home, but I 85 00:03:51.370 --> 00:03:53.750 have your microphone here and I'm picking you up for 86 00:03:53.789 --> 00:03:54.430 this podcast. 87 00:03:54.469 --> 00:03:54.770 All right. 88 00:03:54.830 --> 00:03:55.590 This is fun. 89 00:03:55.949 --> 00:03:56.270 Okay. 90 00:03:56.310 --> 00:04:00.180 This is fun. This is so fun. Wait, you're just 91 00:04:00.240 --> 00:04:02.580 picking up her voice from a microphone that's sticking out 92 00:04:02.620 --> 00:04:03.080 your window? 93 00:04:03.099 --> 00:04:03.360 Yes. 94 00:04:03.400 --> 00:04:10.889 Yes. That's traveling from Hollywood to Pasadena. Yes. Wow, and 95 00:04:10.930 --> 00:04:14.189 it comes in perfectly fine. Sona, I think you know this. 96 00:04:14.729 --> 00:04:17.750 I think you're terrific. I think you're terrific. I hate this. 97 00:04:17.829 --> 00:04:19.329 What are you talking about? I don't know what you're 98 00:04:19.350 --> 00:04:21.610 gonna say, but I hate it so much. You're a 99 00:04:21.629 --> 00:04:25.100 good friend, you're a great assistant, you're loyal. You are 100 00:04:25.379 --> 00:04:26.060 so loud. 101 00:04:26.540 --> 00:04:28.889 You know what's funny is this is- I know, I 102 00:04:28.910 --> 00:04:31.790 was gonna say, this is years after me controlling it 103 00:04:31.930 --> 00:04:34.069 because people have called me out on it so much. 104 00:04:34.610 --> 00:04:38.009 If I really wanna talk normally, this is it. Oh wow, 105 00:04:38.069 --> 00:04:40.230 that's it. Yeah, this is my actual. 106 00:04:39.910 --> 00:04:43.209 Voice that I want, that I have to subdue because 107 00:04:43.310 --> 00:04:44.149 people like you. 108 00:04:44.250 --> 00:04:47.829 Stop it, cars are crashing right now. Because people listen 109 00:04:47.850 --> 00:04:50.670 to this while they're commuting and right now people are 110 00:04:51.009 --> 00:04:53.889 reaching for the volume button and their cars are going 111 00:04:54.009 --> 00:04:55.470 off the embankment. 112 00:04:55.790 --> 00:04:57.670 The windows in my office just shattered. 113 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:02.230 Jesus, I hate it here so much. Well, what do 114 00:05:02.250 --> 00:05:04.170 you do? Because you have twins now that need to 115 00:05:04.209 --> 00:05:06.490 be put to bed. I bet you're very quiet when 116 00:05:06.709 --> 00:05:07.709 it's time for them to go to sleep. 117 00:05:07.930 --> 00:05:10.060 I'm quiet and then it gets loud in my house 118 00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:14.019 just because there's so many... Ethnic people just walking in. 119 00:05:14.019 --> 00:05:18.240 People you're related to? Yes, my Armenian

relatives. It's a 120 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:20.939 small world ride at your house. Yeah, it's awful. Like, well, 121 00:05:20.959 --> 00:05:22.000 just put them down. 122 00:05:22.040 --> 00:05:24.709 There'll be a noise machine. And then the door will open. 123 00:05:25.170 --> 00:05:27.990 Oki will start barking. People will be like, what's going 124 00:05:28.310 --> 00:05:28.970 on here? 125 00:05:29.069 --> 00:05:31.470 And then like, you know, then they're awake. Is this 126 00:05:31.490 --> 00:05:35.240 your parents? It's everyone. It's my parents. It's tax parents. 127 00:05:35.300 --> 00:05:38.939 It's my, you know, cousins, my... And then do they 128 00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:42.600 play their ancestral instruments? Okay. 129 00:05:43.240 --> 00:05:44.459 I can't, you can't. 130 00:05:44.579 --> 00:05:48.810 I don't know. Isn't there a drum that the Armenians 131 00:05:48.850 --> 00:05:51.689 have and a fife? What is it? It's a dune 132 00:05:51.709 --> 00:05:54.509 bag and a duduk. A what? A dune bag. That's 133 00:05:54.569 --> 00:05:57.829 the drum. Don't call us a dune bag and a duduk. 134 00:05:58.370 --> 00:06:01.029 Dumbak and Dudu? Is that true? Did you have a 135 00:06:01.089 --> 00:06:04.009 Dumbak and a Dudu at your wedding? I can't. Was 136 00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:05.560 there a Dumbak and Dudu at your wedding? 137 00:06:05.709 --> 00:06:08.939 Yeah, when we first walked into the wedding, there was 138 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:09.899 an accompaniment. 139 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:13.779 I thought someone had backed into some trash cans. I'm sorry. 140 00:06:14.519 --> 00:06:17.899 You're listening to Dumbak and Dudu in the morning. 141 00:06:18.519 --> 00:06:23.100 Guess what? In Yerevan, in Armenia, that is the wacky 142 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:26.709 drive time show. It's Dumbak and Dudu! Come back and 143 00:06:26.750 --> 00:06:29.470 do it. With Sonam Obsessian broadcasting live from Los Angeles 144 00:06:29.490 --> 00:06:41.420 without a mic. They can hear me in Armenia. 145 00:06:41.560 --> 00:06:41.819 Yes. 146 00:06:42.019 --> 00:06:44.279 Okay. I just wanted to make sure. They don't think 147 00:06:44.300 --> 00:06:47.959 you ever left. People were like, Sona's done very well. 148 00:06:48.019 --> 00:06:50.579 She never went to America. I heard her this morning. Well, 149 00:06:50.600 --> 00:06:52.759 it's Dumbak. I love Dumbak and Dudu. I was born 150 00:06:52.810 --> 00:06:55.230 in this country. Were you at all tempted to name 151 00:06:55.290 --> 00:06:58.129 your twin sons Dumbak and Dudu? I was not at 152 00:06:58.269 --> 00:06:58.750 all ever. 153 00:06:59.110 --> 00:06:59.329 No. 154 00:06:59.569 --> 00:07:02.750 Dumbak, Dudu. Come to mama. I hate when I teach 155 00:07:02.790 --> 00:07:04.209 you new things about Armenians. 156 00:07:04.230 --> 00:07:04.300 No. 157 00:07:04.310 --> 00:07:06.050 Because then you just do this all the time. I 158 00:07:06.069 --> 00:07:09.949 bought you a bicycle built for two. Put that back. Oh, look, 159 00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:12.899 the rap sign. I don't see it. It's right there. 160 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:13.339 Nope. 161 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:16.199 I see nothing. That was just, I was fanning myself. 162 00:07:16.420 --> 00:07:17.339 That's not a rap sign. 163 00:07:17.560 --> 00:07:20.540 All right. We'll look for our other podcasts. We'll be 164 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:24.870 broadcasting in the morning in Armenia. Those two wild men 165 00:07:24.889 --> 00:07:27.449 are going to shake things up in our Armenian drive 166 00:07:27.470 --> 00:07:27.930 time radio. 167 00:07:27.949 --> 00:07:28.430 All right. 168 00:07:28.449 --> 00:07:30.689 We have an excellent show today. My guest. is a 169 00:07:30.730 --> 00:07:33.250 hilarious actress who was a cast member on Saturday Night 170 00:07:33.269 --> 00:07:37.290 Live where she was known for characters like Mary Kathleen Gallagher. 171 00:07:37.509 --> 00:07:42.660 You said Kathleen. I'm sorry, you messed up. Let's try 172 00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:45.860 it again. Where she was known for such characters as 173 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:49.560 Mary Kathleen Gallagher and Sally O'Malley. Now you can see 174 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:52.430 her in the Showtime series. I love that for you. 175 00:07:52.910 --> 00:07:56.629 She also has a new memoir, Hello Molly, out now. 176 00:07:56.769 --> 00:07:58.589 This book is terrific, by the way. I'm very excited 177 00:07:58.610 --> 00:07:59.329 to chat with her today. 178 00:07:59.350 --> 00:07:59.470 Ooh. 179 00:08:03.899 --> 00:08:11.060 Molly Shannon, welcome. First of all, I adore you. You 180 00:08:11.089 --> 00:08:14.629 know that. Thank you. And I am very happy today 181 00:08:14.670 --> 00:08:17.470 to be talking about your book because a lot of celebrities, 182 00:08:17.509 --> 00:08:20.649 famous people write books and a lot of them just 183 00:08:20.689 --> 00:08:23.120 do it because, okay, I can do this. You have 184 00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:26.439 such an amazing story to tell. Just an incredible story 185 00:08:26.459 --> 00:08:29.439 and it's beautifully told. So I'm happy about that. And 186 00:08:29.459 --> 00:08:32.820 I'm also thrilled about a million different things that you've 187 00:08:33.169 --> 00:08:36.350 been doing on television. And so you were at my 188 00:08:37.049 --> 00:08:40.730 house not long ago at a party. And I just, 189 00:08:40.970 --> 00:08:43.710 I think if you recall, I was just talking to 190 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:46.230 you about how you're just hitting on all cylinders and 191 00:08:46.250 --> 00:08:47.269 it made me really happy. 192 00:08:47.289 --> 00:08:48.269 Thank you, Conan. 193 00:08:48.289 --> 00:08:48.409 Yeah. 194 00:08:48.529 --> 00:08:51.120 And then I tried to hug you and you were like, hey, whoa, 195 00:08:51.269 --> 00:08:54.460 remember that? And then Liza said, you know, Conan, you 196 00:08:54.480 --> 00:08:55.940 got to go upstairs now. Remember that? 197 00:08:55.980 -->

00:08:56.700 So funny. 198 00:08:57.279 --> 00:08:58.960 Oh, I didn't think it was funny. I know. 199 00:08:59.100 --> 00:09:05.730 It was... It was, it got a little uncomfortable. Just kidding. 200 00:09:05.769 --> 00:09:06.990 Wait, you know what's so funny? I held you and 201 00:09:07.009 --> 00:09:08.730 you said, I think that's long enough. And I said, 202 00:09:08.750 --> 00:09:11.809 just a little more, just a little more. And you said, hey, whoa. 203 00:09:11.870 --> 00:09:13.649 And then I didn't, you blew a whistle. 204 00:09:15.009 --> 00:09:15.250 Remember? 205 00:09:15.309 --> 00:09:17.929 And I was escorted out of my own home. Oh no. 206 00:09:17.980 --> 00:09:20.240 Which is embarrassing to be taken, to be ejected from 207 00:09:20.279 --> 00:09:22.480 your own home. But it wasn't the first time. It 208 00:09:22.519 --> 00:09:26.120 was the ninth time. And that was just that holiday season. 209 00:09:26.379 --> 00:09:26.519 Wow. 210 00:09:27.820 --> 00:09:31.120 Constantly being thrown out of my own home. But you 211 00:09:31.159 --> 00:09:32.620 did the right thing. You stood up to me. I'm 212 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:33.220 just crazy. 213 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:33.500 I don't know. 214 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:34.120 It was important. 215 00:09:36.399 --> 00:09:39.110 I don't know. I've always felt a very special kinship 216 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:40.679 to you. You and I were both hit over the 217 00:09:40.730 --> 00:09:43.470 head at birth with a massive sack of Irish Catholic, 218 00:09:44.750 --> 00:09:47.110 heavy on the Irish, heavy on the Catholic. And I 219 00:09:48.470 --> 00:09:53.149 think we have similar craziness running through our brains. And 220 00:09:53.230 --> 00:09:56.110 so I've been very happy to get you on the show. 221 00:09:56.129 --> 00:09:59.679 But another thing is that I'm over here on this 222 00:09:59.700 --> 00:10:03.960 side of town a lot. And I'm here because we 223 00:10:03.980 --> 00:10:08.220 do the podcast here. And our head writer, Matt O'Brien, 224 00:10:08.419 --> 00:10:11.960 lives over here. So a lot of times I'll hook 225 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:14.519 up with him and we'll get a bite to eat 226 00:10:14.610 --> 00:10:17.809 and we'll walk around. And every single time we pass 227 00:10:17.830 --> 00:10:20.519 this beautiful house and he goes, Oh, that's Molly Shannon's house. 228 00:10:21.509 --> 00:10:24.590 And every time. What a creep. 229 00:10:24.610 --> 00:10:25.009 What a weirdo. 230 00:10:25.070 --> 00:10:25.750 I love that. 231 00:10:26.029 --> 00:10:27.870 No, no, he does it because he's, I think you've 232 00:10:27.909 --> 00:10:29.269 met him a few times, but he's just like, oh 233 00:10:29.289 --> 00:10:31.809 my God, it's such a, and he points out the 234 00:10:31.830 --> 00:10:34.750 house and then he knows your security code, which is weird. 235 00:10:35.129 --> 00:10:36.870 It's not enough you get kicked out of your own house. 236 00:10:36.909 --> 00:10:37.830 You got to drive by hers. 237 00:10:38.149 --> 00:10:40.710 Yeah, I know. Whenever I get kicked out of my house, 238 00:10:41.250 --> 00:10:42.929 I walk over in this part of town. I won't 239 00:10:42.970 --> 00:10:44.710 say where it is, but I will say the street 240 00:10:44.809 --> 00:10:47.610 on the number. But no, we pass it and it's just, 241 00:10:47.750 --> 00:10:48.769 you know, very nice house. 242 00:10:48.789 --> 00:10:48.870 Yeah. 243 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:52.100 And I always think the same thing, which is I 244 00:10:52.500 --> 00:10:54.070 have this urge to go up and knock on the 245 00:10:54.110 --> 00:10:56.509 door because you're that kind of person. Like I would 246 00:10:56.529 --> 00:10:57.870 never do that. I would love that. I would never 247 00:10:57.909 --> 00:10:59.889 do that with anybody. It would be like you and 248 00:10:59.929 --> 00:11:02.950 Jean-Claude Van Damme. Those are the two I'd feel comfortable 249 00:11:03.070 --> 00:11:05.570 knocking on the door. Well, I just would knock on 250 00:11:05.590 --> 00:11:07.389 the door and he'd answer and he's probably wearing like 251 00:11:07.429 --> 00:11:09.460 some silk robe and I would start fighting him. 252 00:11:10.919 --> 00:11:13.200 But you- You should do that sometimes. 253 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:15.440 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. And I want to 254 00:11:15.480 --> 00:11:18.720 explain this to all our listeners around the world. This 255 00:11:18.779 --> 00:11:21.139 is something that nobody does in LA. 256 00:11:21.259 --> 00:11:21.710 Yeah. 257 00:11:21.870 --> 00:11:25.769 It's an unwritten rule that you never do that. And 258 00:11:25.809 --> 00:11:28.850 it's considered weird. And I'm always thinking, oh, I just 259 00:11:28.870 --> 00:11:30.370 want to go knock on the door because it's Molly. 260 00:11:30.409 --> 00:11:31.049 I love Molly. 261 00:11:31.070 --> 00:11:31.720 Yeah, yeah. 262 00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:33.940 And I've met your husband a bunch of times and 263 00:11:33.980 --> 00:11:36.139 I love him, Fritz. And I just am like, knock 264 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:39.820 on the door and maybe you'll answer. And then I 265 00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:43.090 see us like playing a board game or something. Oh, what? 266 00:11:43.129 --> 00:11:46.070 No matter what you're doing. Oh, my God. 267 00:11:46.210 --> 00:11:47.870 Is this the same with Jean-Claude Van Damme? 268 00:11:47.950 --> 00:11:49.750 Oh, Jean-Claude Van Damme. We play Twister. 269 00:11:49.809 --> 00:11:49.970 Okay. 270 00:11:50.110 --> 00:11:53.480 But again, that turns into a kicking fight. I don't know. 271 00:11:53.500 --> 00:11:56.259 You know what's so funny, Conan? I've always wanted to 272 00:11:56.299 --> 00:11:58.440 be the type of person that's so relaxed that if 273 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:00.259 somebody did that, I'd be like, come on in. Like, 274 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:01.559 it's a very Irish thing. 275 00:12:01.580 --> 00:12:01.649 Yes. 276 00:12:01.659 --> 00:12:04.570 Like,

come have a spot of tea or a glass 277 00:12:04.610 --> 00:12:05.669 of whiskey. You know what I mean? 278 00:12:06.070 --> 00:12:09.450 Or have several bottles of whiskey. 279 00:12:09.610 --> 00:12:10.250 Oh, come on in. 280 00:12:10.389 --> 00:12:10.840 Come on in. 281 00:12:10.990 --> 00:12:12.929 I just put some peat on the fire. We'll sit 282 00:12:12.970 --> 00:12:15.210 around and tell stories. Exactly. 283 00:12:15.649 --> 00:12:18.490 But I feel like everybody's so busy nowadays and this 284 00:12:18.529 --> 00:12:20.090 and that. We're both parents and we work and this. 285 00:12:20.409 --> 00:12:23.730 But I do fantasize about being that type of person 286 00:12:23.850 --> 00:12:25.850 who's like really in the moment and like, come on in. 287 00:12:26.710 --> 00:12:29.809 But you know what's so funny? Mike White's producer, Dave Bernard, 288 00:12:29.909 --> 00:12:30.590 does do that. 289 00:12:30.809 --> 00:12:33.360 Really? He'll be like, ding dong. He'll be like a. 290 00:12:33.909 --> 00:12:35.779 Molly, Lucas Gage and I are driving around. 291 00:12:35.879 --> 00:12:38.039 Can we come over? And they do come over. 292 00:12:38.059 --> 00:12:38.139 Yeah. 293 00:12:38.500 --> 00:12:40.320 But they do still call first. And they stop over. 294 00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:42.970 I mean, he does text first to say, I'm nearby. 295 00:12:43.070 --> 00:12:46.750 Are you there? So I love that. The one person 296 00:12:46.789 --> 00:12:50.649 I know in Los Angeles who will crash into my 297 00:12:50.690 --> 00:12:53.120 house and not call ahead or anything. 298 00:12:53.259 --> 00:12:53.860 Adam Sandler? 299 00:12:53.940 --> 00:12:54.259 Yes. 300 00:12:54.299 --> 00:12:54.879 I knew it. 301 00:12:55.159 --> 00:12:56.080 How did you know that? 302 00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:57.740 Because I just know, because I know Adam. 303 00:12:57.759 --> 00:12:59.820 Oh my God, that's crazy. It's Adam, right? So I've 304 00:12:59.879 --> 00:13:05.809 been in my house and I hear, Coney! Coney! And 305 00:13:05.830 --> 00:13:08.409 he doesn't even ring, there's like a bell. He doesn't 306 00:13:08.450 --> 00:13:11.250 even ring the bell. Coney! Coney! And I answer the 307 00:13:11.289 --> 00:13:13.090 door and he'll come in and he's always wearing the 308 00:13:13.129 --> 00:13:15.909 same thing. He'd be wearing it, you know, walking down 309 00:13:15.929 --> 00:13:18.759 the street or playing basketball or if he gets a 310 00:13:18.789 --> 00:13:21.220 Nobel Prize and they put a medal around his neck. 311 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:25.070 He'll be wearing those kind of long basketball- Gym shorts, yes. 312 00:13:25.110 --> 00:13:28.870 Gym shorts and big puffy sneakers and like a tank top. 313 00:13:29.289 --> 00:13:31.220 He comes crashing in the house. He'll be with his kids. 314 00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:33.799 He'll be like, come on. Hey, Coney, Coney, Coney. And 315 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:36.039 he'll immediately say, we can't stay. We can't stay. We 316 00:13:36.059 --> 00:13:37.700 can't stay. We gotta go. I know you don't want 317 00:13:37.740 --> 00:13:40.059 us here. And I'll be like, no, Adam, this is great. 318 00:13:40.179 --> 00:13:42.179 Have a seat. We'll watch it. No, no, no. And 319 00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:44.899 then within 30 seconds, we gotta go. This man, we're 320 00:13:44.940 --> 00:13:49.740 not wanted. He and his kids will go piling out 321 00:13:49.779 --> 00:13:51.960 of the house and I won't even know what happened. 322 00:13:52.139 --> 00:13:54.480 But I can't believe you guessed it. I guessed it. 323 00:13:54.679 --> 00:13:55.639 I know that. 324 00:13:56.500 --> 00:13:58.750 You know why too? Because I was just in Hawaii 325 00:13:59.409 --> 00:14:02.809 and with my kids, Stella, Nolan, and all their friends, 326 00:14:02.830 --> 00:14:04.809 I took a bunch of kids to Hawaii and we 327 00:14:04.830 --> 00:14:06.490 were all having so much fun. 328 00:14:07.029 --> 00:14:09.600 And Adam was there too. And I was like, come over. 329 00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:13.659 And they did. They came to the hotel and, you know, 330 00:14:13.980 --> 00:14:17.159 Adam is very much like that, I think. 331 00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:20.070 He's sort of like a more deranged version of Zorba 332 00:14:20.090 --> 00:14:25.669 the Greek. Just when he's around, he's like, hey, let's go. 333 00:14:25.970 --> 00:14:27.990 Come over here, let's have cookies. Let's get a milkshake. 334 00:14:28.289 --> 00:14:32.700 He's so high on everyone getting together and having a 335 00:14:32.740 --> 00:14:36.659 good time. It's so funny that you just mentioned Hawaii 336 00:14:36.700 --> 00:14:38.960 because you mentioned it and I pictured you in White Lotus. 337 00:14:39.259 --> 00:14:39.879 Yeah. 338 00:14:39.950 --> 00:14:43.649 And it's so funny because I just now, I don't 339 00:14:43.669 --> 00:14:47.629 know how Hawaii feels about that show, But everyone's fantasy 340 00:14:47.690 --> 00:14:50.740 is going to Hawaii. And since that show, if anyone 341 00:14:50.769 --> 00:14:53.879 mentions Hawaii, I think, oh, my God, White Lotus. 342 00:14:54.019 --> 00:14:54.679 Yeah. 343 00:14:54.759 --> 00:14:59.139 Someone's going to poop in my suitcase. And then you 344 00:14:59.159 --> 00:15:01.029 were in it. And you were fantastic. 345 00:15:01.110 --> 00:15:03.610 Oh, thank you. One more thing I was going to 346 00:15:03.629 --> 00:15:06.129 say about Adam is that Adam is always like you. 347 00:15:06.769 --> 00:15:10.409 Adam has like that– thing in him where he's always 348 00:15:10.429 --> 00:15:12.740 worried about everyone else to make sure he takes care 349 00:15:12.779 --> 00:15:15.019 of everyone. So he'd be very thoughtful if he was 350 00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:17.019 intruding or not wanting to bust in on your time. 351 00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:18.320 So he's a good person. 352 00:15:18.039 --> 00:15:21.340 To do that. He's great. He almost overdoes it because 353 00:15:21.460 --> 00:15:24.700 I'd like it. I

love that guy. And so it'd 354 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:27.120 be nice if he stayed. So he has the impulse 355 00:15:27.159 --> 00:15:29.919 to come in and crash in. And then I'll say, oh, 356 00:15:30.139 --> 00:15:33.179 come on, let's sit. Let's talk. How are you? I 357 00:15:33.210 --> 00:15:36.309 got to go. I know when I'm not wanting to. No, please. 358 00:15:36.970 --> 00:15:39.610 I've literally made a pillow that says, stitched a pillow 359 00:15:39.629 --> 00:15:42.090 that says, Adam, please stay. It's on the couch. That's 360 00:15:42.129 --> 00:15:43.929 so cute. I know you don't mean it. No, I 361 00:15:44.009 --> 00:15:48.330 stitched it myself. It took six weeks. I'm out of here. 362 00:15:48.370 --> 00:15:53.070 But yeah, White Lotus, we were back there in Hawaii 363 00:15:53.129 --> 00:15:56.039 visiting when the show was ending. And I was like, oh, 364 00:15:56.100 --> 00:15:58.480 my God, this is so crazy because it is like 365 00:15:58.820 --> 00:16:01.419 White Lotus. And I was reminding myself of the character 366 00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:04.570 that I played. But we had so much fun shooting that. Oh, 367 00:16:04.590 --> 00:16:05.399 my God. 368 00:16:05.710 --> 00:16:08.950 Adam makes almost all of his movies in Hawaii. And 369 00:16:08.970 --> 00:16:10.950 I think he sets– I mean, if Adam was going 370 00:16:10.970 --> 00:16:15.500 to play a soldier fighting in World War II in 371 00:16:15.620 --> 00:16:19.159 like France, in Paris– he'd insist they shoot it in Hawaii. 372 00:16:20.759 --> 00:16:22.830 And they'd put up a cardboard Eiffel Tower in the 373 00:16:22.850 --> 00:16:25.429 background and it'd be like palm trees and people would 374 00:16:25.470 --> 00:16:28.269 be drinking, you know, Mai Tais with flowers in them 375 00:16:28.370 --> 00:16:32.429 and saying, ooh, it's Paris. Yeah, exactly. It's so true. 376 00:16:32.470 --> 00:16:33.610 He knows how to do it right. 377 00:16:33.730 --> 00:16:35.730 There's so much to talk about. First of all, I 378 00:16:35.750 --> 00:16:40.659 want to start because you've written this incredible memoir and 379 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.279 I've known your story. I think there are a lot 380 00:16:43.299 --> 00:16:45.100 of people out there that don't know your story. 381 00:16:45.120 --> 00:16:45.360 Yeah. 382 00:16:45.980 --> 00:16:46.159 And. 383 00:16:47.639 --> 00:16:51.620 You tell it really beautifully and there's some real darkness, 384 00:16:51.659 --> 00:16:54.720 but you tell it without pity. You know, you're someone 385 00:16:54.740 --> 00:16:56.659 who's just saying, hey, here's what happened. 386 00:16:56.919 --> 00:16:57.159 Yeah. 387 00:16:57.519 --> 00:17:01.730 You and your family was in a terrible automobile accident 388 00:17:01.750 --> 00:17:05.349 when you were four years old. Yeah. And in that crash, 389 00:17:05.390 --> 00:17:08.609 you lost your mother and a sister. 390 00:17:08.690 --> 00:17:09.150 Yes. 391 00:17:09.309 --> 00:17:09.950 And a cousin. 392

00:17:10.029 --> 00:17:10.930 Yes, yes. 393 00:17:11.250 --> 00:17:15.190 And so you literally come to in the hospital. you know, 394 00:17:15.250 --> 00:17:17.809 I know we're taking a real hard turn here, but 395 00:17:17.930 --> 00:17:20.190 there's no other way to get into it. There's a 396 00:17:20.289 --> 00:17:22.349 part that's just heartbreaking in the book where you don't 397 00:17:22.410 --> 00:17:24.569 know where your mom is and no one will tell you. 398 00:17:25.650 --> 00:17:29.609 They keep saying, everyone keeps saying, well, we'll get to that, 399 00:17:29.890 --> 00:17:33.089 you know, and your thought was she's in another room. Yeah. 400 00:17:33.130 --> 00:17:35.930 My thought was exactly Conan. I was like, people were 401 00:17:35.970 --> 00:17:39.809 bringing us all these gifts, like toys and, you know, 402 00:17:40.109 --> 00:17:41.990 trying to act really cheery. There were a lot of 403 00:17:42.150 --> 00:17:45.119 relatives and I was just like, I want to see 404 00:17:45.160 --> 00:17:48.880 my mom. And my sister Mary was six at the time, 405 00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:51.039 so she and I survived. But I was like, where's 406 00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:53.670 my mom and where's Katie? And they wouldn't tell us, 407 00:17:53.680 --> 00:17:56.900 so I got myself dressed finally because I was like, 408 00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:58.859 nobody's telling me we're there. And I figured they must 409 00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.089 be in another section. I was like, my mom must 410 00:18:01.119 --> 00:18:04.250 be up there with Katie in the baby section. Katie 411 00:18:04.289 --> 00:18:06.849 must be with all the babies because she's three and 412 00:18:06.890 --> 00:18:09.589 I really need to see her now. So I just insisted. 413 00:18:09.609 --> 00:18:11.089 So I put the robe on and I thought if 414 00:18:11.130 --> 00:18:13.369 I could just get up that ramp I'll go through 415 00:18:13.410 --> 00:18:16.650 those double doors and they're probably up there. So I 416 00:18:16.730 --> 00:18:18.950 walked up and they were like, no, no, no, no, no, no. 417 00:18:19.380 --> 00:18:22.839 You can't go in that section. And they escorted me 418 00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:27.160 back to my bed and I was just, yeah, so upset. 419 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:29.779 And then finally a relative did tell me that they 420 00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:31.619 had died and gone to heaven. 421 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:34.589 They pretty much told you, because I think in the book, 422 00:18:34.970 --> 00:18:39.289 which you say they've I don't know, even though they 423 00:18:39.349 --> 00:18:41.869 say initially that she died, they just say she's in heaven. 424 00:18:41.890 --> 00:18:42.630 Yeah, she's in heaven. 425 00:18:42.650 --> 00:18:44.690 And you're just trying to figure out, well, how do I? 426 00:18:44.750 --> 00:18:48.190 Because it's a very strange thing to tell any child 427 00:18:48.710 --> 00:18:52.160 that information. But to go right to they're in heaven, 428

00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:53.980 you were thinking, well, I don't understand. I mean, how 429 00:18:54.019 --> 00:18:55.559 do I get there? Because I need to go be 430 00:18:55.579 --> 00:18:57.680 with my mom. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? 431 00:18:57.700 --> 00:18:59.779 That to me was just like, it's not like, okay, 432 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:03.630 check that box. We solve this problem. because she knows 433 00:19:03.670 --> 00:19:06.089 she's in heaven. Because to you, that just meant like, well, no, 434 00:19:06.130 --> 00:19:08.029 I still need my mom. So how do I get there? 435 00:19:08.109 --> 00:19:08.589 What do we do? 436 00:19:08.849 --> 00:19:12.859 Exactly. Yes, exactly. And I think that, right, they were 437 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:15.579 trying to really tie it up. Like, it's a good thing. Like, no, no, no, 438 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:19.940 she's in heaven, like with the angels. And I was like, 439 00:19:20.660 --> 00:19:24.240 you know, I really did. Yeah, my thought was, please, 440 00:19:24.289 --> 00:19:26.750 how can we get there? Like, could we fly there 441 00:19:26.869 --> 00:19:30.160 or could we Could we somehow see them or visit them? 442 00:19:30.779 --> 00:19:33.279 Because I think you cannot understand at that age, it 443 00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:35.319 doesn't really make any sense. I think there's a big 444 00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:38.460 difference in losing a parent when you're four versus even 445 00:19:38.579 --> 00:19:41.680 seven or 10. And at that time, I was just like, 446 00:19:41.789 --> 00:19:45.630 it's like almost, there was no way that I could 447 00:19:45.769 --> 00:19:48.490 accept that or grieve her at that time because I 448 00:19:48.529 --> 00:19:51.079 think it would have like annihilated me, truly. 449 00:19:51.700 --> 00:19:53.640 So I just was like– It's almost protective that you 450 00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:57.039 didn't– Yeah. There's something maybe, I don't know, in our 451 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:00.519 makeup or our biology, but a four-year-old can't possibly understand yet, 452 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:02.039 which might be a blessing. 453 00:20:02.500 --> 00:20:04.539 Exactly, which might be a blessing, right? So it came 454 00:20:04.599 --> 00:20:09.859 up later in life, much later grieving my mom– through 455 00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:12.640 like dating and falling in love. I grieved my mom 456 00:20:12.700 --> 00:20:17.819 through relationships with men more. That was strange that that 457 00:20:17.859 --> 00:20:20.140 didn't come up till then. But, but I was going 458 00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:22.980 to say that, yeah, right. It's like this fantasy that 459 00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:25.119 she'll be back at the house. So I made stuff 460 00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:29.039 up still waiting, hoping like, you know, for a long time, like, 461 00:20:29.539 --> 00:20:32.220 you know, I don't know, strange how the brain, how 462 00:20:32.240 --> 00:20:34.400 a child's brain works. Yeah. 463 00:20:34.640

--> 00:20:38.000 I remember very early on you talking about your dad, um, 464 00:20:38.539 --> 00:20:40.299 I don't know if it was because of this experience 465 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:43.190 he went through or if he was like this way anyway, 466 00:20:43.210 --> 00:20:46.430 but he had kind of a go for broke attitude, 467 00:20:46.869 --> 00:20:51.769 not conventional, almost rules don't apply attitude towards how you 468 00:20:51.829 --> 00:20:56.519 kids should see life. Yeah. I remember you telling me 469 00:20:56.539 --> 00:20:58.240 this a long time ago, but you recount it in 470 00:20:58.259 --> 00:21:00.779 the book. This time that he just kind of dared 471 00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:03.170 you and your sister at a young age to get 472 00:21:03.230 --> 00:21:05.470 on a plane by yourself. See if you can get 473 00:21:05.509 --> 00:21:07.309 on a plane by yourselves and go somewhere. 474 00:21:07.529 --> 00:21:08.630 Yes, exactly. 475 00:21:08.650 --> 00:21:10.509 With no plan and no. 476 00:21:11.089 --> 00:21:11.549 Nothing. 477 00:21:11.630 --> 00:21:14.059 He didn't even think that you would do it, did he? No, 478 00:21:14.119 --> 00:21:14.890 he did not. 479 00:21:14.740 --> 00:21:16.579 Think that we would do it. It was actually me 480 00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:19.200 and my friend, Ann Rampt, who was my childhood friend. 481 00:21:19.240 --> 00:21:20.500 He was like, you should do that. That would be 482 00:21:20.519 --> 00:21:23.460 the greatest dare. And we were like very young. I 483 00:21:23.579 --> 00:21:25.079 think maybe like 11 and 13 or we were really young. 484 00:21:28.220 --> 00:21:29.740 I actually told the story on NPR, so they had 485 00:21:29.769 --> 00:21:32.289 to fact check it and call Ann Rampton, Jolene Rampton, 486 00:21:32.369 --> 00:21:32.829 all that. 487 00:21:33.430 --> 00:21:35.769 We don't fact check here. So just go for it. 488 00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:37.279 I wanted to get the age right. I think it 489 00:21:37.299 --> 00:21:40.539 was 11 and 12. But basically, yes, he dared us 490 00:21:40.619 --> 00:21:42.420 and he never thought we would do it. And one 491 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:44.529 summer day we were like, we're going to do it. 492 00:21:44.890 --> 00:21:48.210 And so we told Ann Ram's brother, Tom, we're going 493 00:21:48.230 --> 00:21:49.809 to do it. We're going to try to hop a plane. 494 00:21:50.289 --> 00:21:53.279 And so, but we figured if that didn't work to 495 00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:55.240 get on a plane, get on some flight, we would 496 00:21:55.539 --> 00:21:57.759 go back and take a ballet class. So we dressed 497 00:21:57.819 --> 00:22:01.180 in leotards because we were really into ballet. So we 498 00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:03.420 had pink leotards on with skirts and we had a 499 00:22:03.460 --> 00:22:06.029 change of clothes and a plastic bag and a few dollars. 500 00:22:06.089 --> 00:22:06.589 That was it. 501 00:22:06.849 --> 00:22:08.150 But how did you even buy a ticket? 502 00:22:08.450 --> 00:22:10.630 We didn't buy tickets. So basically what we did was 503 00:22:10.670 --> 00:22:14.849 we took the rapid transit and shaker to Cleveland Hopkins Airport. 504 00:22:15.529 --> 00:22:17.500 And we looked at the monitor and there was like 505 00:22:17.539 --> 00:22:19.660 a flight going to San Francisco and a flight. 506 00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:20.279 To New York. 507 00:22:20.380 --> 00:22:22.700 And I was like, let's take that one to New York. 508 00:22:23.079 --> 00:22:25.160 And we were like, yes. And this is before 9-11. 509 00:22:26.460 --> 00:22:28.529 There was no security. So you could walk straight up 510 00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:30.809 to the gate. And then we went up to the 511 00:22:30.890 --> 00:22:34.069 gate and we said to the stewardess who was checking 512 00:22:34.329 --> 00:22:35.869 passengers on the plane, we just said, oh, would it 513 00:22:35.890 --> 00:22:38.849 be okay if we go say goodbye to... my sister 514 00:22:38.970 --> 00:22:40.690 it'll just be so quick and she was like oh 515 00:22:40.730 --> 00:22:43.829 sure go ahead girl so we just like sprinted down 516 00:22:43.930 --> 00:22:46.390 the runway in our pink. 517 00:22:46.170 --> 00:22:52.009 Leotards with our hair and we were like and it 518 00:22:52.049 --> 00:22:54.490 wasn't a very crowded flight so we just went to 519 00:22:54.529 --> 00:22:56.930 the back and then we ducked down so she couldn't 520 00:22:57.190 --> 00:23:00.869 see us and then she forgot about us and then 521 00:23:01.109 --> 00:23:03.309 all of a sudden it's like you know the plane's 522 00:23:03.349 --> 00:23:05.269 getting ready to take off and we were like oh 523 00:23:05.289 --> 00:23:07.640 my god it And so we grabbed one of those. 524 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:09.859 Hands and we were like, just silently like, Hail Mary, 525 00:23:09.880 --> 00:23:13.259 full of grace, the Lord is with thee. 526 00:23:13.339 --> 00:23:19.339 And then it was like, up. 527 00:23:18.049 --> 00:23:22.910 In the air. And we were like, squeezing one another, dying. 528 00:23:23.369 --> 00:23:24.549 And we were so excited. 529 00:23:25.049 --> 00:23:28.230 And then she came over, you know, like 15, no, 530 00:23:28.230 --> 00:23:30.690 15 minutes later to ask us what we wanted to 531 00:23:30.789 --> 00:23:34.200 drink or eat as a snack, that same stewardess. And 532 00:23:34.259 --> 00:23:37.160 she was like, She looked like she was going to faint. 533 00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:42.869 She was like, can I get you ladies something to drink? 534 00:23:42.890 --> 00:23:44.369 Oh, she knew that she had been had. 535 00:23:44.410 --> 00:23:45.230 She knew. Yeah. 536 00:23:45.569 --> 00:23:48.670 And then we thought we might get busted on the 537 00:23:48.730 --> 00:23:51.640 way out when the plane finally landed. We were like, 538 00:23:51.660 --> 00:23:54.119 are we going to get in trouble? But we did not. 539 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:57.480 We just went down the runway and then we got 540

00:23:57.500 --> 00:23:59.220 to the front to exit the plane and she was 541 00:23:59.269 --> 00:23:59.519 just like. 542 00:23:59.970 --> 00:24:02.809 Bye ladies. Oh my God. She didn't want to get 543 00:24:03.430 --> 00:24:05.049 in trouble. I would do the same thing. 544 00:24:05.069 --> 00:24:05.950 I know. 545 00:24:05.970 --> 00:24:06.829 Bye. 546 00:24:06.950 --> 00:24:07.369 Like this. 547 00:24:07.549 --> 00:24:08.529 She looked really scared. 548 00:24:08.549 --> 00:24:09.759 We were like, we're. 549 00:24:10.460 --> 00:24:12.839 In New York City. 550 00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:16.160 And we, yeah, we were 11 and 12. Because in 551 00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:18.400 a way I could see this flight attendant thinking, if 552 00:24:18.859 --> 00:24:22.089 I don't acknowledge this, it's not my screw up. 553 00:24:22.130 --> 00:24:22.269 Yep. 554 00:24:22.690 --> 00:24:24.930 So maybe these two kids are never heard from again, 555 00:24:24.950 --> 00:24:30.410 but it doesn't come back to me. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. 556 00:24:30.430 --> 00:24:32.170 And we didn't have any money. So we were like, 557 00:24:33.329 --> 00:24:36.650 I had never been, you know, I'd heard about places 558 00:24:36.710 --> 00:24:39.660 in New York City on the television. So I was like. 559 00:24:40.019 --> 00:24:43.250 Let's go to Rockefeller Center. That's where we wanted to go. 560 00:24:43.349 --> 00:24:44.349 Isn't that weird? Yeah. 561 00:24:44.609 --> 00:24:46.589 So we just asked strangers, like, how do you get 562 00:24:46.630 --> 00:24:49.680 to Rockefeller Center? And they were like, so we had 563 00:24:49.700 --> 00:24:52.019 to take the subway from the airport. So we walked. 564 00:24:52.059 --> 00:24:54.380 It's like a 30 minute walk. So we walk and 565 00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:56.410 we jumped the turnstiles because we didn't have any money. 566 00:24:57.119 --> 00:24:58.380 And then we got to New York City. 567 00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:00.680 I love that you're in, and keep in mind, you're 568 00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:03.420 dressed in ballet tutus the whole time. Yeah. 569 00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:05.900 It was like two little ballerinas on a crime spree 570 00:25:05.940 --> 00:25:07.799 in New York City. It was amazing. 571 00:25:07.819 --> 00:25:10.009 Sunny afternoon. This was amazing. 572 00:25:10.089 --> 00:25:11.920 And then we were hungry and we went to a 573 00:25:12.069 --> 00:25:14.750 diner and we dined in Dash. We were like, we 574 00:25:14.789 --> 00:25:17.230 were just really bad. We stole things all day. Like, 575 00:25:17.369 --> 00:25:20.849 I love New York t-shirts. And then we called my dad. 576 00:25:22.180 --> 00:25:23.220 And how did that go over? 577 00:25:23.359 --> 00:25:25.819 It was fine because he couldn't be mad because he 578 00:25:25.880 --> 00:25:28.000 had dared us to do it. So he was like, oh, 579 00:25:28.059 --> 00:25:30.480 my God, Mally. Oh, gosh. 580 00:25:30.589 --> 00:25:30.960 Oh, wow. 581 00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:34.190 But he was excited. But he was also like he 582 00:25:34.230 --> 00:25:36.609 couldn't believe we pulled off the prank. So he couldn't 583 00:25:36.630 --> 00:25:39.049 be mad because he'd given us permission. Yeah. And then 584 00:25:39.109 --> 00:25:42.250 he called Jolene, ramped Anne's mom, and she broke out 585 00:25:42.309 --> 00:25:44.849 in cold sores. She was like, oh, my God. And 586 00:25:44.869 --> 00:25:46.390 then my dad said, listen, why don't you try to 587 00:25:46.450 --> 00:25:48.650 find a place to stay for the night? And Mary 588 00:25:48.670 --> 00:25:50.109 and I will drive. 589 00:25:50.130 --> 00:25:55.380 You're 11. You're like 11 and 12. What year is this, too? Like, 590 00:25:55.400 --> 00:25:56.099 what kind of New York? 591 00:25:56.119 --> 00:25:57.119 Are we talking about 70s, 80s New York? 592 00:25:57.140 --> 00:25:59.730 Yeah, well, it's like 74. 593 00:25:59.730 --> 00:26:00.029 Six? 594 00:26:00.170 --> 00:26:04.609 Yeah, this is Taxi Driver. This is Taxi Driver. This 595 00:26:04.750 --> 00:26:10.259 is French Connection. You're driving around. Yeah, this is the worst. 596 00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:13.740 Sid Vicious is in the hotel room next to you. 597 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:18.240 This is in New York. Oh, see if you can 598 00:26:18.259 --> 00:26:21.529 check out the Chelsea Hotel. It might be a good 599 00:26:21.549 --> 00:26:23.910 place for you to crash. Go down to Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, 600 00:26:23.930 --> 00:26:26.690 check out CBGB's. They fit in perfectly. 601 00:26:26.730 --> 00:26:29.910 They were two little criminals just stealing stuff. 602 00:26:29.970 --> 00:26:33.880 Unbelievable. Were you scared? A gang from Warriors. So where 603 00:26:33.900 --> 00:26:35.500 did you stay that night? 604 00:26:36.369 --> 00:26:38.509 So we went and checked into a couple of nice 605 00:26:38.549 --> 00:26:41.490 hotels in the Times Square area. And we would ask, 606 00:26:41.710 --> 00:26:43.509 could we stay? And my dad would call the hotel 607 00:26:43.549 --> 00:26:46.339 and say, we're going to be there. We'll arrive at 608 00:26:46.390 --> 00:26:48.940 midnight tonight. But of course, the hotel said, no, we 609 00:26:48.980 --> 00:26:50.640 can't be responsible for two minors. 610 00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:53.740 He goes, but they'll wait in the lobby. No, no, no, no. 611 00:26:53.819 --> 00:26:56.539 We need an adult in person with a credit card. 612 00:26:57.220 --> 00:27:01.960 So basically, we tried multiple hotels and they would not 613 00:27:02.019 --> 00:27:04.519 allow us. So So then my dad said, well, you've 614 00:27:04.539 --> 00:27:06.579 got to come back home. And he was like, and 615 00:27:06.619 --> 00:27:09.980 I'm not paying for it. So figure it out. 616 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:11.589 Oh, my God. 617 00:27:12.130 --> 00:27:12.329 Wow. 618 00:27:12.349 --> 00:27:16.049 So then my dad said, well, you've got to come 619 00:27:16.069 --> 00:27:16.390 back home. 620 00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:46.960 Be proactive

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Cornmarket Group Financial Services Ltd is regulated 641 00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:51.059 by the Central Bank of Ireland. 642 00:28:56.930 --> 00:29:00.460 So we had a full, fun, crazy day in New 643 00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:03.059 York City and the best day ever. And then when 644 00:29:03.099 --> 00:29:05.660 it started to get dark, we headed back to the 645 00:29:05.740 --> 00:29:09.240 airport and again, no cash. So we just sprinted over 646 00:29:09.279 --> 00:29:13.079 the turns out back to JFK, looked for flights to Cleveland. 647 00:29:13.140 --> 00:29:14.799 But now in New York City, these flights are much 648 00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:17.029 more crowded. So we got up to the gate of one. 649 00:29:17.500 --> 00:29:19.980 Tried to get on a seat, but sneak on a seat, 650 00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:21.940 same thing. Can we say goodbye to my sister? And 651 00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:26.039 then people kept coming up. I'm sorry, this is my seat. 652 00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:27.619 Is there something except that we move to another seat? 653 00:29:27.740 --> 00:29:29.609 Excuse me, this is our seat. It was a fully 654 00:29:29.630 --> 00:29:32.289 packed flight. So we came back out, called my dad, 655 00:29:32.309 --> 00:29:33.930 and he was like, all right, I'll put it on 656 00:29:33.970 --> 00:29:35.630 my credit card, but you need to pay me back 657 00:29:35.670 --> 00:29:40.430 with your babysitting money. So we did lie home and 658 00:29:40.529 --> 00:29:44.349 he picked us up. We did celebrate, and then we 659 00:29:44.369 --> 00:29:47.049 did eventually pan back with all our babysitting. What? 660 00:29:47.509 --> 00:29:47.890 Yeah. 661 00:29:48.250 --> 00:29:50.279 It's insanity. Isn't that funny? 662 00:29:50.539 --> 00:29:53.400 It was so fun. 663 00:29:53.539 --> 00:29:55.640 You know, I have to say, it's funny because we 664 00:29:55.700 --> 00:29:59.119 live in this era. I mean, I contrast it with 665 00:29:59.180 --> 00:30:01.420 my childhood, and I had no experiences like that, but 666 00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:04.019 I was one of six. you know, my parents were 667 00:30:04.059 --> 00:30:06.460 busy and I think there were whole swaths of time 668 00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:09.480 where they weren't quite sure where I was because that 669 00:30:09.549 --> 00:30:13.730 was the time. Now, my wife knows where our kids 670 00:30:13.990 --> 00:30:16.569 are every second of every day. There's no such thing 671 00:30:16.609 --> 00:30:18.630 as like, oh, I don't, you know, in third grade, 672 00:30:18.670 --> 00:30:20.940 I was taking a, you know, waiting for a bus 673 00:30:21.019 --> 00:30:23.480 on Route 9 to take me home. But it was 674 00:30:23.539 --> 00:30:25.980 not thought of as crazy at the time. What you're 675 00:30:26.019 --> 00:30:28.099 describing is insane in any era. 676 00:30:28.339 --> 00:30:29.500 Yeah. 677 00:30:29.539 --> 00:30:34.109 Maybe in the Middle Ages. You know, you could, you could, 678 00:30:34.269 --> 00:30:38.440 I dare you to attack that castle in Scotland. I'm 11. 679 00:30:38.430 --> 00:30:41.349 Go ahead. But we live in the South of England. 680 00:30:41.430 --> 00:30:42.710 Go see if you can do it. 681 00:30:42.710 --> 00:30:43.910 Oh my God. 682 00:30:44.029 --> 00:30:46.450 I love that. Yeah. But I mean, because this leads 683 00:30:46.470 --> 00:30:47.980 to the next thing I wanted to talk about, which 684 00:30:48.079 --> 00:30:53.109 is in your comedy and your performance and particularly in 685 00:30:53.329 --> 00:30:57.829 Mary Catherine Gallagher, the physicality of it was what really 686 00:30:57.869 --> 00:31:00.269 made it special. Do you know what I mean? And 687 00:31:00.309 --> 00:31:03.890 it doesn't, if you submitted a Mary Catherine Gallagher in 688 00:31:03.910 --> 00:31:08.910 a script, you wouldn't understand. You have to see you 689 00:31:08.970 --> 00:31:15.559 become that person and then hurl yourself into iron folding chairs. 690 00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:20.420 It's so funny because there was no faking it. Am 691 00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:22.440 I right? Absolutely. I mean, it looked like you were 692 00:31:22.480 -->

00:31:25.000 getting hurt all those years you were playing her. 693 00:31:25.279 --> 00:31:27.319 I like the way it felt, kind of, because it 694 00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:29.500 made me feel like... I think I was in a 695 00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:32.240 reckless place in my life where I didn't care. I 696 00:31:32.269 --> 00:31:36.980 was just like... I liked bleeding and getting cut and bruised. And, 697 00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:39.460 you know, I kind of thought of it like punk rock, 698 00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:43.119 like it was a way to express anger and it 699 00:31:43.180 --> 00:31:46.319 felt good that it was really physical. And I didn't care. 700 00:31:46.339 --> 00:31:49.279 I just didn't care. I would never do that now. 701 00:31:49.799 --> 00:31:51.720 I was in a different place in my life where 702 00:31:52.299 --> 00:31:56.140 I didn't mind bleeding and being cut and getting bruised. And, 703 00:31:56.630 --> 00:31:59.089 you know, it was like very reckless and it has 704 00:31:59.130 --> 00:32:03.299 to do with losing my mom and anger and I 705 00:32:03.410 --> 00:32:06.240 was expressing myself. Does that make sense? 706 00:32:06.420 --> 00:32:10.109 It does. Yeah. It totally makes sense that it is 707 00:32:10.200 --> 00:32:10.809 a release. 708 00:32:11.049 --> 00:32:11.670 Yeah, release. 709 00:32:11.930 --> 00:32:14.309 They're breakaway walls, but what people don't understand is it 710 00:32:14.369 --> 00:32:14.970 still hurts. 711 00:32:15.190 --> 00:32:15.650 Yes. 712 00:32:15.730 --> 00:32:17.819 Like if you, you know, the times that you would 713 00:32:17.859 --> 00:32:22.140 go through a wall. and then rise up, you know, superstar, 714 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:26.119 you know, but that hurts, you know, and I done 715 00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:28.720 it enough to know that that hurts. And you were 716 00:32:28.759 --> 00:32:33.849 doing it at three times the velocity. That's so amazing. 717 00:32:33.890 --> 00:32:36.710 Brian Smythe, they eventually got like a stunt guy because 718 00:32:36.730 --> 00:32:39.009 when I would first do it, I, I, yeah, I 719 00:32:39.049 --> 00:32:41.130 would just throw myself with the metal chairs and stuff. 720 00:32:41.170 --> 00:32:45.589 And then, then SNL hired a stunt man and Brian Smythe, 721 00:32:46.210 --> 00:32:52.359 and they would, they were like, she's And then it 722 00:32:52.380 --> 00:32:56.589 set a barometer for other stunt women where they would 723 00:32:56.630 --> 00:32:59.009 have to copy that. They go, we want that and more. 724 00:32:59.430 --> 00:33:00.529 So it was like, they. 725 00:33:00.950 --> 00:33:03.769 Thought it was crazy. They were hated by stunt people. Yeah, yeah. 726 00:33:03.809 --> 00:33:06.650 They thought it was crazy. But I would never do 727 00:33:06.690 --> 00:33:08.250 that kind of thing now. But what I want to 728 00:33:08.289 --> 00:33:10.670 say too is, It just, it also felt good to 729 00:33:10.710 --> 00:33:13.269 wake up Sunday morning. I like that

my muscles hurt. 730 00:33:13.329 --> 00:33:15.099 It made me feel like I worked really hard and 731 00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:17.119 I feel like I poured myself into the character. So 732 00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:19.740 it just felt good. So there was also not just 733 00:33:19.799 --> 00:33:21.480 a dark side to it. No, no, no, no. 734 00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:24.619 But it's also what I, what also I have to say, 735 00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:27.859 it's very Catholic too. There's a, no good can come 736 00:33:28.579 --> 00:33:32.220 without some pain and some suffering that's instilled in us 737 00:33:32.279 --> 00:33:35.660 pretty much at birth. And so the years I was 738 00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:38.240 at Saturday Night Live, I used to try and see, okay, 739 00:33:38.289 --> 00:33:39.900 most people stay up two nights. I'd try and stay 740 00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:42.470 up like three nights. I mean, literally to the point 741 00:33:42.490 --> 00:33:45.410 where like I'm crying and a weird gel is coming 742 00:33:45.450 --> 00:33:51.430 out of my eyes. And there's this perverse, I hate 743 00:33:51.450 --> 00:33:54.670 to say, It's not sexual. It's not like an S 744 00:33:54.670 --> 00:33:56.609 & M kind of thing, but it's a weird, I'm 745 00:33:57.009 --> 00:34:00.289 hurting myself for my craft. Isn't that good? And I 746 00:34:00.410 --> 00:34:04.009 totally agree with you now, the idea of having to 747 00:34:04.049 --> 00:34:06.150 go to a physical therapist the next day and work 748 00:34:06.210 --> 00:34:09.159 on this for six weeks. I don't want to do that. 749 00:34:09.260 --> 00:34:09.639 I know. 750 00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:13.059 And it's so funny, Conan, because now I'm very different. 751 00:34:13.099 --> 00:34:14.659 Like if I do have to do a stunt, I 752 00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:18.690 actually just did a movie recently. with, um, Florence Pugh 753 00:34:18.730 --> 00:34:21.639 and we had a very physical scene and I wanted 754 00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:23.739 to have padding because it was really rough. I don't 755 00:34:23.780 --> 00:34:25.300 want to bust my rib anymore. 756 00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:26.179 It's not worth it. 757 00:34:26.239 --> 00:34:27.079 We're parents. 758 00:34:27.139 --> 00:34:28.420 And, you know, so now I'm, I. 759 00:34:28.420 --> 00:34:30.440 Would never do that kind of stuff. And I'm so 760 00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:33.690 glad I didn't have a serious injury. Thank God. Because, 761 00:34:33.730 --> 00:34:36.150 you know, you could have, I could have broken my 762 00:34:36.230 --> 00:34:38.869 neck or back or like you're saying a hip or 763 00:34:38.909 --> 00:34:39.969 something like that. Yeah. 764 00:34:40.190 --> 00:34:42.309 I was reading in the book and you, you, there's 765 00:34:42.329 --> 00:34:45.429 this part where you, you took Mary Catherine Gallagher very 766 00:34:45.489 --> 00:34:48.909 seriously and you wrote down different rules for her, which 767 00:34:48.949 --> 00:34:53.760 were important for you. And

your approach was almost quite 768 00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:56.739 method and quite serious. Like you went at it as 769 00:34:56.780 --> 00:35:01.059 these are the rules for Mary Catherine Gallagher. She's terrified. 770 00:35:01.139 --> 00:35:02.079 She's afraid. 771 00:35:02.119 --> 00:35:04.889 She's so shy, shy, shy. She starts off shy. And 772 00:35:04.929 --> 00:35:07.429 I also wrote too that the audience must know what 773 00:35:07.530 --> 00:35:11.440 she wants. It has to be crystal clear. She wants this. 774 00:35:11.480 --> 00:35:13.440 She wants to get this part. And it has to 775 00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:16.679 be life or death stakes. So it makes that release 776 00:35:16.739 --> 00:35:18.760 like blast off. You know what I mean? 777 00:35:18.780 --> 00:35:19.619 Yes. 778 00:35:19.860 --> 00:35:21.659 And then one thing I wanted to say too, I 779 00:35:21.679 --> 00:35:25.510 feel like Hollywood loves an extrovert. It's like, oh, an extrovert. 780 00:35:25.630 --> 00:35:29.369 Yay. But I feel like I love introverts. 781 00:35:29.489 --> 00:35:32.670 I love when people are quiet and awkward. And I 782 00:35:32.710 --> 00:35:34.929 like when they don't know what to say. Or I 783 00:35:34.969 --> 00:35:37.960 like when mistakes are made. I think it's so funny 784 00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:38.739 and sweet. 785 00:35:39.300 --> 00:35:41.159 I know that, you know, we're here talking about the book, 786 00:35:41.179 --> 00:35:45.739 but you also did this TV show. I love that 787 00:35:45.820 --> 00:35:46.719 for you, which. 788 00:35:48.119 --> 00:35:49.079 I just finished it last night. 789 00:35:49.139 --> 00:35:49.599 I wrapped. 790 00:35:49.699 --> 00:35:49.980 Yeah. 791 00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:53.000 You just wrapped it and it's coming out. And I wanted, 792 00:35:53.019 --> 00:35:55.659 I was really curious because I love your work and 793 00:35:55.679 --> 00:36:00.159 I watched this two episodes of this show they sent me. Yeah. 794 00:36:00.380 --> 00:36:01.760 I mean, I swear to God, I think they edited 795 00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:04.280 it an hour beforehand and sent it to me, but. 796 00:36:04.420 --> 00:36:04.599 Yeah. 797 00:36:04.949 --> 00:36:07.030 This is a show that couldn't have existed 20 years 798 00:36:07.090 --> 00:36:10.710 ago because there's such small moments that are so great. 799 00:36:10.849 --> 00:36:13.070 Yeah, I'm doing that show with Vanessa Bayer, who's also 800 00:36:13.110 --> 00:36:14.170 from Cleveland, Ohio. 801 00:36:14.230 --> 00:36:15.010 And she's so funny. 802 00:36:15.070 --> 00:36:17.889 She's so funny and so great. And Jesse Klein and 803 00:36:17.929 --> 00:36:19.730 Jeremy Beiler. And Mike Showalter. 804 00:36:19.889 --> 00:36:21.530 You know, one of the things you talk about in 805 00:36:21.550 --> 00:36:24.610 the book that blew me away, which I did not 806 00:36:24.650 --> 00:36:26.570 see coming and I did not know, there was a 807 00:36:27.570 --> 00:36:29.769 Saturday Night Live Mother's Day special. 808 00:36:29.829 --> 00:36:30.150 Yes. 809 00:36:30.710 --> 00:36:33.570 And I did remember at the time that all the 810 00:36:33.849 --> 00:36:39.090 different cast members brought their mom on. Obviously, you couldn't 811 00:36:39.130 --> 00:36:41.670 do that. So you brought your dad. And then there 812 00:36:41.690 --> 00:36:43.150 was some revelations afterwards. 813 00:36:43.590 --> 00:36:44.030 Yes. 814 00:36:44.409 --> 00:36:46.969 Well, my dad was, he always kind of wanted to 815 00:36:47.030 --> 00:36:49.670 be an actor himself. He would have loved to have 816 00:36:50.250 --> 00:36:53.699 pursued a career in show business professionally and taken acting 817 00:36:53.739 --> 00:36:57.199 classes at the Cleveland Playhouse. And he did his own 818 00:36:57.300 --> 00:37:01.619 writing after the accident to help with the grief about 819 00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:04.800 losing his wife and his baby daughter and So he 820 00:37:04.860 --> 00:37:10.090 wrote a lot about how sad he was and also 821 00:37:10.110 --> 00:37:12.289 the good memories. And I put that in the book too, 822 00:37:12.309 --> 00:37:15.730 because I loved his writing and he really loved performing. 823 00:37:15.750 --> 00:37:17.650 And we would do scenes around the house a lot, 824 00:37:17.690 --> 00:37:20.710 like acting exercises. And I'll get to Saturday Night Live. 825 00:37:20.750 --> 00:37:23.070 But I became interested in acting because of my dad. 826 00:37:23.090 --> 00:37:24.929 So he would have us do skits in the house 827 00:37:24.949 --> 00:37:27.469 where he'd go, okay, pretend that somebody calls on the 828 00:37:27.510 --> 00:37:29.239 phone and you have to trick your friend so they 829 00:37:29.260 --> 00:37:33.139 think somebody's really calling. And we would practice and it 830 00:37:33.179 --> 00:37:35.280 had to be very real. And if it wasn't real, 831 00:37:35.300 --> 00:37:37.800 he'd be like, stop, that seemed fake. So I started 832 00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:40.739 with the Jim Shannon School of Acting. So we would 833 00:37:40.760 --> 00:37:43.780 be like, hello, Shannon residence. This is Molly speaking. 834 00:37:43.800 --> 00:37:45.099 Uh-huh. 835 00:37:46.679 --> 00:37:47.440 Yeah, he's right here. 836 00:37:47.460 --> 00:37:48.840 Yeah. Yeah. 837 00:37:50.199 --> 00:37:51.599 Uh-huh. Okay. 838 00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:57.360 Yeah. So he would really, we would trick our friends 839 00:37:57.449 --> 00:37:59.710 so much because the acting was so real. So that 840 00:37:59.730 --> 00:38:02.170 comes from my dad. But what I wanted to say was, 841 00:38:03.110 --> 00:38:04.929 so when I brought him to SNL for the Mother's 842 00:38:04.949 --> 00:38:07.949 Day special, it was like making a man's dreams come true. 843 00:38:08.210 --> 00:38:10.349 He wanted to be an actor, but what was so 844 00:38:10.469 --> 00:38:14.070 sad was when he came to visit, he did confide 845 00:38:14.110 --> 00:38:16.369 in me. He was shivering in the dressing room and

846 00:38:16.429 --> 00:38:19.070 Kay Farrell put a sweater on him and he was 847 00:38:19.130 --> 00:38:22.050 acting a little weird. Like he seems so thin and 848 00:38:22.070 --> 00:38:25.679 a little shaky and he wasn't, you know, he didn't seem, 849 00:38:26.119 --> 00:38:29.679 he seemed thinner, like not fully his full energy, but 850 00:38:29.719 --> 00:38:31.900 it was like, I finally got him on SNL. This 851 00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:35.239 is what he wanted his dream, but he was dying 852 00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:38.559 of cancer. He told me during that trip, we were 853 00:38:38.619 --> 00:38:42.480 up there and he was like, I do have cancer. And, 854 00:38:42.920 --> 00:38:45.869 you know, I do, you know, have a little bit 855 00:38:45.889 --> 00:38:48.940 of a death wish, you know, He just didn't want 856 00:38:48.980 --> 00:38:50.760 to go through all the chemo and all that. He 857 00:38:50.780 --> 00:38:54.829 didn't want to do that. So it was hard having 858 00:38:54.869 --> 00:38:58.010 him on there. No, it was great having him. but 859 00:38:58.269 --> 00:39:01.030 he didn't look his best because he looked kind of thin. 860 00:39:01.190 --> 00:39:03.369 And he also wasn't telling me he had cancer. So 861 00:39:03.389 --> 00:39:05.389 when we filmed our bit, I was like, daddy, he 862 00:39:05.409 --> 00:39:06.909 felt like it was like a little slow. It's like, 863 00:39:06.949 --> 00:39:08.840 speed it up, you know, come on, come on. And, 864 00:39:09.139 --> 00:39:10.800 you know, but he was having fun too. Cause he 865 00:39:10.840 --> 00:39:12.559 got to, we got to go through hair and makeup 866 00:39:12.599 --> 00:39:14.940 and he got to, he goes, boy, people don't know 867 00:39:14.980 --> 00:39:16.019 what goes into this. 868 00:39:16.059 --> 00:39:17.610 This is hard. I was like, exactly. 869 00:39:17.969 --> 00:39:20.389 So he really got to have the great experience, but 870 00:39:20.489 --> 00:39:23.389 when it did air, he was like, oh, I hated 871 00:39:23.429 --> 00:39:26.179 the way I looked. And And he called me, I 872 00:39:26.219 --> 00:39:27.280 was in Canada shooting a movie. 873 00:39:27.300 --> 00:39:28.750 I wish you could have told him that's all of us. 874 00:39:28.949 --> 00:39:29.510 Yeah, I did. 875 00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:33.719 Cancer or no cancer, anything I do, if I accidentally 876 00:39:33.800 --> 00:39:38.019 see it on a screen, I'm horrified. Horrified. I told him. 877 00:39:38.039 --> 00:39:40.159 I said, Daddy, we all feel that way. 878 00:39:40.340 --> 00:39:42.599 I thought you told him Conan hates the way he looks. 879 00:39:43.960 --> 00:39:44.619 And he has a right. 880 00:39:45.340 --> 00:39:49.039 My dad loved you, Conan. You and Adam were so 881 00:39:49.099 --> 00:39:51.199 nice to him. And I remember he was so excited 882 00:39:51.239 --> 00:39:53.599 that he got to see that life through me, like 883 00:39:53.659 --> 00:39:58.159 come to parties and meet Conan O'Brien and Adam Sandler. 884

00:39:58.179 --> 00:40:00.099 I mean, it was like, I made his dreams come true, 885 00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:03.070 you know? And I still often ask myself, like, do 886 00:40:03.110 --> 00:40:04.860 I really still like this? Or did I just do 887 00:40:04.909 --> 00:40:07.050 this for my dad? Like, cause I am a quiet person. 888 00:40:07.090 --> 00:40:09.070 Like I don't care if somebody doesn't know what I 889 00:40:09.130 --> 00:40:12.630 do or I don't, I don't need that to esteem myself. 890 00:40:12.710 --> 00:40:15.909 I am more serious. So, so I do think, I 891 00:40:15.969 --> 00:40:17.469 think about that a lot. Like, do I want to 892 00:40:17.489 --> 00:40:23.239 make sure I still like it? I I think that 893 00:40:23.260 --> 00:40:25.059 the business can be so hard because you can always 894 00:40:25.159 --> 00:40:27.780 feel like you're not measuring up or it's never enough. 895 00:40:27.840 --> 00:40:30.340 It's like it's so fucking exhausting. I just don't like 896 00:40:30.380 --> 00:40:33.110 those kind of childhood patterns where you have to keep 897 00:40:33.159 --> 00:40:35.949 going to not feeling like enough. It's so old. 898 00:40:36.329 --> 00:40:39.309 I don't like it. Those games are useful for a while. 899 00:40:39.550 --> 00:40:43.610 There's this repetitious thought and cycles and putting yourself down 900 00:40:43.659 --> 00:40:45.760 and trying to build yourself back up again. 901 00:40:45.780 --> 00:40:45.849 Yes. 902 00:40:46.559 --> 00:40:48.280 But you can do that. You can go through those 903 00:40:48.570 --> 00:40:51.289 cycles for a long time and these negative thought patterns. 904 00:40:51.369 --> 00:40:53.429 And then what happens is you just get older, you 905 00:40:54.110 --> 00:40:56.349 have kids, and then you start to realize as they're 906 00:40:56.389 --> 00:41:00.159 growing up, oh, this is so much more important. Yes. 907 00:41:00.909 --> 00:41:04.610 This bullshit I've been completely worrying about all the time. 908 00:41:04.630 --> 00:41:08.260 How's the show? How's the show doing? What could be better? 909 00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:11.039 How could I have done that better? Kids really help. 910 00:41:11.059 --> 00:41:11.900 They help me a lot. 911 00:41:12.039 --> 00:41:14.699 They really do. It's so true. I feel like my 912 00:41:14.739 --> 00:41:17.559 whole life changed having kids and it becomes about them, 913 00:41:17.579 --> 00:41:21.320 of course. So it's like, it just seems so self-involved 914 00:41:21.340 --> 00:41:23.760 to even think about that. I'm like, this is their time. 915 00:41:23.800 --> 00:41:27.699 You know what I mean? So I just think I actually... 916 00:41:27.969 --> 00:41:31.150 feel embarrassed. I don't like getting recognized when I'm with 917 00:41:31.170 --> 00:41:33.010 them because I'm like, this is their time. They don't mind. 918 00:41:33.030 --> 00:41:36.980 They understand showbiz and stuff. But right, obviously it gets 919 00:41:37.019 --> 00:41:39.000 to where you

want and it's good to have that drive. 920 00:41:39.639 --> 00:41:42.400 But after a while, you're right, it does get old. 921 00:41:42.579 --> 00:41:44.800 And I like to feel like, oh, I measure up. 922 00:41:45.139 --> 00:41:47.469 I just don't want to have that map anymore of 923 00:41:47.889 --> 00:41:50.329 not feeling like you don't measure up and you're not enough. 924 00:41:50.550 --> 00:41:51.909 I don't want to be doing that when I'm like 925 00:41:52.309 --> 00:41:55.360 now and 60 and 70. It's just It's exhausting. 926 00:41:55.460 --> 00:41:57.019 Did you get a lot of help getting to that place? 927 00:41:57.039 --> 00:41:57.619 I did, yes. 928 00:41:57.679 --> 00:41:59.500 I've worked hard in therapy on myself. 929 00:41:59.519 --> 00:42:02.909 That's good. I talk about, I try and encourage people 930 00:42:03.010 --> 00:42:07.650 to get help because you can't do it on your own. 931 00:42:07.690 --> 00:42:11.130 You actually need another person in the room. Some people 932 00:42:11.250 --> 00:42:15.500 need medication. You need a little bit of help. And 933 00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:18.440 it's like anything else. It's like if you want a 934 00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:22.920 six-pack- which thank God I don't, you have to do 935 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:24.519 a lot of crunches and repetitions. 936 00:42:24.599 --> 00:42:26.599 I don't know which kind of six pack you were. 937 00:42:26.659 --> 00:42:27.019 I know. 938 00:42:28.739 --> 00:42:31.920 I really want a six pack. Anyway, it's all through 939 00:42:31.940 --> 00:42:35.039 repetition and going at it again and again and again. 940 00:42:35.059 --> 00:42:39.010 And I think that's one of the things that- Just 941 00:42:39.030 --> 00:42:39.949 makes your life better. 942 00:42:40.030 --> 00:42:42.530 Yeah. I feel like happier and better. And I was never, 943 00:42:42.570 --> 00:42:43.909 I think there are some people where they have that 944 00:42:44.010 --> 00:42:46.789 flight response where things get too deep in therapy and 945 00:42:46.829 --> 00:42:49.130 then they flee because they can't deal with it. And 946 00:42:49.170 --> 00:42:51.429 then they're leaving at a point where they're like walking 947 00:42:51.489 --> 00:42:54.210 out there angry or whatever in the world. But I 948 00:42:54.550 --> 00:42:56.909 always wanted to confront stuff. I like it because I 949 00:42:57.030 --> 00:43:00.070 felt like it just made me happier and calmer. And 950 00:43:00.449 --> 00:43:02.960 so I've always been open to doing that kind of 951 00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:04.920 work and it just has made my life better. 952 00:43:05.059 --> 00:43:05.300 Yeah. 953 00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:05.719 Yeah. 954 00:43:06.019 --> 00:43:08.440 You left SNL and you talk about it in the book. 955 00:43:08.739 --> 00:43:10.559 You had encountered people who said, oh, this is going 956 00:43:10.579 --> 00:43:12.539 to be great. You know, SNL is a great stepping stone. 957 00:43:12.619 --> 00:43:14.320 And your reaction

was, what are you talking about? 958 00:43:14.579 --> 00:43:14.820 Yeah. 959 00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:16.550 Stepping stone. 960 00:43:16.570 --> 00:43:17.380 I was like, what? 961 00:43:17.440 --> 00:43:20.320 This is everything. I could just stop right here. I 962 00:43:20.360 --> 00:43:24.420 could freeze myself. This is just, I can't believe I 963 00:43:24.440 --> 00:43:26.659 even came this far. I never even dreamed it could 964 00:43:26.679 --> 00:43:28.880 be like this. I could just freeze and that would 965 00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:29.239 be enough. 966 00:43:29.280 --> 00:43:32.500 And that's truly how I feel. But that is unusual 967 00:43:32.719 --> 00:43:37.300 because most people, it's very human, but most people, when 968 00:43:37.320 --> 00:43:39.659 you get one thing, you immediately make it the very 969 00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:43.119 least you should have. This is something humans just do. 970 00:43:43.199 --> 00:43:45.300 It becomes like, this is the very least I should 971 00:43:45.340 --> 00:43:48.269 have And I see this in show business all the time. 972 00:43:48.889 --> 00:43:52.110 People go from, oh my God, I can't believe this 973 00:43:52.170 --> 00:43:55.699 is even happening to me. And within three months, they're saying, 974 00:43:55.719 --> 00:43:59.659 I've got this. Yeah, how do I get that? And 975 00:43:59.679 --> 00:44:03.030 if I don't get that, I kind of failed. Yeah. 976 00:44:03.210 --> 00:44:05.750 And the thing is, if you feel inadequate, working more 977 00:44:05.809 --> 00:44:07.769 is not going to fix that. You know what I mean? 978 00:44:07.789 --> 00:44:10.150 I always try to think that. Do you know what 979 00:44:10.190 --> 00:44:10.389 I mean? 980 00:44:10.670 --> 00:44:10.929 Yes. 981 00:44:11.369 --> 00:44:13.670 I mean, sometimes if it's bringing you joy, great. But 982 00:44:13.690 --> 00:44:16.789 I think a lot of times people are like, they're 983 00:44:16.809 --> 00:44:19.929 competing with something. But you may be competing with somebody 984 00:44:19.969 --> 00:44:22.570 who has a serious work addiction. So look at it 985 00:44:22.650 --> 00:44:25.769 as that. Mike White says this great thing where he 986 00:44:25.809 --> 00:44:28.570 was like, my mom always wins by being the happiest. 987 00:44:28.659 --> 00:44:31.079 And I was like, that's amazing. Because for some people, 988 00:44:31.099 --> 00:44:32.420 it can be to the point where it's not about 989 00:44:32.900 --> 00:44:35.760 you know, money. It's about like power and you know 990 00:44:35.780 --> 00:44:38.380 what I mean? It just can get really unhealthy. And 991 00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:42.639 I love being creative, but I also want to be happy. 992 00:44:42.780 --> 00:44:44.150 I don't want to do it at the expense of 993 00:44:44.190 --> 00:44:47.650 my children and being present for them. And I think 994 00:44:48.230 --> 00:44:51.250 because I lost my mom as a kid, I feel 995 00:44:51.369 --> 00:44:54.010 really wanting to grab this time

now. I have an 996 00:44:54.250 --> 00:44:56.949 urgency about it, knowing that you never know how long 997 00:44:56.969 --> 00:44:59.489 you have with somebody. So I really realized, oh my God, 998 00:44:59.510 --> 00:45:01.679 you're up to bat, you know, because I lost her 999 00:45:01.719 --> 00:45:03.340 so young that I want to do a really good 1000 00:45:03.380 --> 00:45:06.000 job as a mom. That's like my number one thing. 1001 00:45:06.019 --> 00:45:07.019 Does that make sense? Yes. 1002 00:45:07.239 --> 00:45:08.980 And so I don't want to miss out on that, 1003 00:45:09.059 --> 00:45:10.000 you know? Of course. 1004 00:45:10.019 --> 00:45:10.239 Yeah. 1005 00:45:10.599 --> 00:45:13.159 And I just think, I think because I struggled so 1006 00:45:13.199 --> 00:45:16.099 long to make it that I really appreciate it. You 1007 00:45:16.139 --> 00:45:19.070 know what I mean? And I think the same with SNL. 1008 00:45:19.250 --> 00:45:20.789 I was always like, I could just stop right here. 1009 00:45:20.849 --> 00:45:23.280 I knew what that type of gig was, how special 1010 00:45:23.300 --> 00:45:25.559 it was, and it's live. And I do think Lorne 1011 00:45:25.619 --> 00:45:27.440 knew that about me. I was just like, oh my God, 1012 00:45:27.880 --> 00:45:31.360 this is the greatest ever. Nothing may ever top this 1013 00:45:31.500 --> 00:45:36.239 live performance experience. And that's true. It's just spectacular. There 1014 00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:38.949 is nothing like that. So I did know that when 1015 00:45:38.989 --> 00:45:40.420 I was there, and I appreciate it. 1016 00:45:40.429 --> 00:45:43.650 Isn't it funny, I think, that And we both saw 1017 00:45:43.710 --> 00:45:45.429 this and we've seen it time and time again, but 1018 00:45:45.489 --> 00:45:50.170 Lorne Michaels has kind of a fascination and real appreciation 1019 00:45:50.210 --> 00:45:53.050 for Irish Catholics. He does. Isn't he cool? He does. 1020 00:45:53.150 --> 00:45:55.210 He really does. And I just keep thinking about all 1021 00:45:55.250 --> 00:45:58.739 down the line, I think because he grew up, you know, 1022 00:45:58.780 --> 00:46:01.630 this Jewish kid in Toronto, he's just fantastic. fascinated by like, 1023 00:46:01.730 --> 00:46:07.719 who are these people? It's so true. They're crazy. They're crazy. 1024 00:46:07.739 --> 00:46:11.179 They're crazy, but I think he is amused by us. 1025 00:46:11.360 --> 00:46:11.769 He really is. 1026 00:46:11.800 --> 00:46:15.559 And thank God because, you know, he's given us all 1027 00:46:15.579 --> 00:46:17.099 these amazing lives. 1028 00:46:17.159 --> 00:46:17.440 Yeah. 1029 00:46:17.699 --> 00:46:19.530 Before we go, I just have to get you to, 1030 00:46:19.719 --> 00:46:23.809 there's so many things in this book. I really want 1031 00:46:23.829 --> 00:46:27.269 to encourage people to get it. Hello Molly, a memoir, 1032 00:46:27.309 --> 00:46:31.039 because you are very honest about about the scams you 1033 00:46:31.079 -->

00:46:32.119 pulled in your life. 1034 00:46:32.139 --> 00:46:33.119 Yes. 1035 00:46:33.360 --> 00:46:37.780 And you sound, this is a compliment, Sona. Sona has 1036 00:46:38.019 --> 00:46:42.320 no fear in some situations. She's dabbled in shoplifting. No way. 1037 00:46:42.619 --> 00:46:47.090 And car theft. Car theft? We haven't proven you haven't 1038 00:46:47.130 --> 00:46:47.409 done it. 1039 00:46:47.630 --> 00:46:48.409 Well, okay. Fair. 1040 00:46:48.610 --> 00:46:51.130 But, because I know that you're saying, then you have 1041 00:46:51.170 --> 00:46:52.969 this whole part where you're trying to get started in 1042 00:46:53.010 --> 00:46:55.010 show business and you have a scam where you tell 1043 00:46:55.070 --> 00:46:59.820 people that you work with David Mamet. What? And it's 1044 00:46:59.889 --> 00:47:02.760 just a lie, but it works. Doesn't it work? 1045 00:47:03.059 --> 00:47:04.840 It did. Well, my friend Gene Pack and I did 1046 00:47:04.900 --> 00:47:09.159 study with him at NYU Drama School, Tisch School of 1047 00:47:09.179 --> 00:47:12.400 the Arts. I wasn't in his class for too long, 1048 00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:14.940 but when we were struggling actors trying to get our 1049 00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.780 faces seen out in Hollywood, it was so hard to 1050 00:47:17.800 --> 00:47:19.739 get an agent. You would send your headshot in and 1051 00:47:20.219 --> 00:47:22.099 nobody would call. And so we were like, we got 1052 00:47:22.119 --> 00:47:26.190 to bust through somehow. So I thought of this and 1053 00:47:26.510 --> 00:47:29.840 basically what we did was we would, um, go to 1054 00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:32.719 AFI library and study managers and agents we wanted to pursue. 1055 00:47:32.739 --> 00:47:34.599 Cause there was a big book that said who Joan 1056 00:47:34.619 --> 00:47:37.199 Cusack's represented by this person or that. So we would 1057 00:47:37.219 --> 00:47:38.639 have a list of people we wanted to meet. And 1058 00:47:38.679 --> 00:47:41.400 then Friday night at about a Friday afternoon, about four, 1059 00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:43.389 we would each have a list where I had five 1060 00:47:43.409 --> 00:47:45.269 people I wanted him to call. And he had five people. 1061 00:47:45.309 --> 00:47:48.570 He wanted me to call for him agents and managers 1062 00:47:48.610 --> 00:47:50.949 to get in. And we would say, yes, can I 1063 00:47:51.010 --> 00:47:54.969 speak to whatever ex agent? Um, this is, uh, you know, 1064 00:47:55.030 --> 00:47:58.949 Liz Stockwell, that was my name, calling from David Mamet's office. 1065 00:48:00.269 --> 00:48:03.929 And I would. 1066 00:48:03.090 --> 00:48:06.170 Love for you to meet, you know, Can you please 1067 00:48:06.190 --> 00:48:07.730 put the agent on? They'd be so excited. Oh, my God, 1068 00:48:07.769 --> 00:48:10.110 David Mamet's office. And the reason maybe we chose him 1069 00:48:10.130 --> 00:48:12.969 was because we knew he was on the East Coast, 1070 00:48:13.010 --> 00:48:16.570 maybe in Vermont, wasn't coming, wasn't in Hollywood. But then 1071 00:48:16.639 --> 00:48:19.519 people were really delighted that maybe David Mamet was thinking 1072 00:48:19.579 --> 00:48:21.639 of them. And they were like, right away, let us 1073 00:48:21.699 --> 00:48:24.760 put you through to, you know, ex-agent. And then the 1074 00:48:24.840 --> 00:48:27.659 agent would get on the phone and I would say, hi, whatever, Barb. 1075 00:48:28.130 --> 00:48:30.619 You know, this is Liz Stockwell. So we have this 1076 00:48:30.679 --> 00:48:35.039 great kid in town. He's doing David's new show. We 1077 00:48:35.059 --> 00:48:37.320 would make him the star of David's new play. And 1078 00:48:37.619 --> 00:48:39.940 he's in town taking meetings. And he's going to go 1079 00:48:39.980 --> 00:48:41.510 back to New York because they're in rehearsals. But we 1080 00:48:41.530 --> 00:48:43.690 would love to have you meet him. And they would say, 1081 00:48:43.730 --> 00:48:46.110 you know, oh, sure. We'll have Gene call me when 1082 00:48:46.130 --> 00:48:47.369 he gets to town. I was like, you know what? 1083 00:48:47.389 --> 00:48:48.150 His schedule's so busy. 1084 00:48:48.190 --> 00:48:50.610 If I could just set up the appointment now for 1085 00:48:50.630 --> 00:48:52.989 him to meet you. And we couldn't hang up the 1086 00:48:53.050 --> 00:48:55.960 phone until he had the appointment. Until we had the 1087 00:48:56.000 --> 00:48:59.420 appointment and the bus. Yeah. And so whatever obstacle there 1088 00:48:59.480 --> 00:49:01.599 was in the mammoth scam, we had an answer because 1089 00:49:01.619 --> 00:49:03.659 we had both worked in telemarketing. So we were like, 1090 00:49:04.039 --> 00:49:05.820 if they say this, we say this. If they say, 1091 00:49:06.099 --> 00:49:08.239 don't hang up till you've got that credit card, make 1092 00:49:08.280 --> 00:49:11.550 the sale. So basically, and I would say, David just 1093 00:49:11.570 --> 00:49:13.849 speaks so highly of your company and you, and we'd 1094 00:49:13.889 --> 00:49:15.829 love to be represented by your company. And they'd be like, 1095 00:49:15.849 --> 00:49:17.769 oh my God, yes, let's get an appointment. And then 1096 00:49:17.869 --> 00:49:20.500 Gene would make calls for me saying he was Arnold Katz. 1097 00:49:20.559 --> 00:49:23.280 And we would, and we would, right? 1098 00:49:23.639 --> 00:49:26.679 And then we would, oh my. 1099 00:49:26.519 --> 00:49:27.079 God, we met. 1100 00:49:27.440 --> 00:49:31.349 Everyone. Bernie Brillstein, we called Bernie and he was like, 1101 00:49:31.849 --> 00:49:34.889 you know, have Molly call my daughter Lee. And he 1102 00:49:34.929 --> 00:49:38.469 was so nice. And, you know, so we met everyone. 1103 00:49:38.510 --> 00:49:38.869 It worked. 1104 00:49:39.110 --> 00:49:41.550 It worked. And that's how I got my first agent. 1105 00:49:41.610 --> 00:49:44.929 Oh my God. And Jean got, we got jobs. But 1106 00:49:45.010 -->

00:49:46.860 let me just put it out there. Let me just 1107 00:49:46.880 --> 00:49:49.400 put it out there. If you're listening, this is something 1108 00:49:49.440 --> 00:49:51.599 that will work for you too. but it has to 1109 00:49:51.619 --> 00:49:55.139 be David Mamet. Oh, no. You have to keep sticking 1110 00:49:55.159 --> 00:49:58.340 with David Mamet. Yeah, even still today, you have to, 1111 00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:01.039 I go to a restaurant that he goes to every 1112 00:50:01.059 --> 00:50:02.570 now and then, and I see him and chat with him. 1113 00:50:03.619 --> 00:50:03.949 You do? 1114 00:50:04.110 --> 00:50:06.929 Yeah, he goes to- He's a great teacher. We can't 1115 00:50:06.949 --> 00:50:10.230 trust you. We can't trust you with that. We don't 1116 00:50:10.250 --> 00:50:12.969 know if you know him or not. You're a liar. 1117 00:50:13.110 --> 00:50:14.809 I don't know if he would remember that. Anything you 1118 00:50:14.829 --> 00:50:17.690 say that's Mamet related is a lie. Did you even 1119 00:50:17.730 --> 00:50:20.739 go to NYU? Yeah, Liz Stockwell. Yeah. 1120 00:50:21.079 --> 00:50:23.559 David Mamet was always like, if you're not 15 minutes 1121 00:50:23.739 --> 00:50:26.320 early for class, you're late. That was his philosophy. 1122 00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:26.780 Right. 1123 00:50:26.880 --> 00:50:28.119 Yes. But no, he's so talented. 1124 00:50:28.139 --> 00:50:30.059 Well, he's often late to this restaurant. Anyway. 1125 00:50:30.340 --> 00:50:30.739 Yeah. 1126 00:50:31.300 --> 00:50:35.050 No, anyway, I just, I hope that everyone else starts 1127 00:50:35.090 --> 00:50:38.190 doing it. And, you know, I started every now and then, 1128 00:50:38.409 --> 00:50:40.369 people are so hungry for celebrity dish. 1129 00:50:40.750 --> 00:50:41.230 Yeah. 1130 00:50:41.349 --> 00:50:43.349 There was a period of time when I was doing 1131 00:50:43.389 --> 00:50:46.159 a standup tour. And at the end, when the, you know, 1132 00:50:46.179 --> 00:50:48.440 when my set was done, people would ask me questions 1133 00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:51.079 and people, the question I get, all the time is okay, 1134 00:50:51.119 --> 00:50:53.059 who's the worst guy? And I'd say, well, I don't 1135 00:50:53.099 --> 00:50:54.679 want to say, and I go, come on, come on. 1136 00:50:55.019 --> 00:50:57.820 So I just started throwing out a name at random 1137 00:50:57.860 --> 00:51:01.860 and it was Willem Dafoe. And people were like gasping. 1138 00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:03.789 Some people in the audience would be like, I knew it. 1139 00:51:04.860 --> 00:51:06.369 First of all, let me just make it very clear. 1140 00:51:06.489 --> 00:51:09.070 I've met Willem Dafoe and interviewed him a number of times. 1141 00:51:09.750 --> 00:51:11.469 one of the loveliest people you'll ever meet. 1142 00:51:11.489 --> 00:51:12.090 I can imagine. 1143 00:51:12.130 --> 00:51:14.530 But I just, it's one of those names where who 1144 00:51:14.570 --> 00:51:18.719 would lie about Willem Dafoe? No one. You wouldn't lie 1145 00:51:18.760 --> 00:51:21.659 about Willem Dafoe. It's too interesting a name and too 1146 00:51:21.699 --> 00:51:24.440 interesting a choice. So I'd go Willem Dafoe and people would, 1147 00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:25.840 you know, in the audience would be like, I always 1148 00:51:25.880 --> 00:51:29.480 liked him. Damn him. Damn Dafoe. And then I'd have 1149 00:51:29.500 --> 00:51:31.090 to say at the end of the show, I swear 1150 00:51:31.110 --> 00:51:33.610 to God, I was lying about Willem Dafoe because I couldn't, 1151 00:51:33.889 --> 00:51:35.869 I couldn't commit to it. He's too, he's too nice. 1152 00:51:35.989 --> 00:51:37.449 That is so funny. 1153 00:51:37.469 --> 00:51:40.670 But, um, I don't know. I'm very happy for you. 1154 00:51:40.690 --> 00:51:44.230 I'm really happy that you wrote this book because your 1155 00:51:44.269 --> 00:51:47.610 spirit's in this book. Your story is tremendous, but your 1156 00:51:47.710 --> 00:51:50.860 spirit is here in the book. And I think people 1157 00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:53.519 are going to absolutely love it. And I root for 1158 00:51:53.599 --> 00:51:55.579 anything that brings you more happiness because you've made so 1159 00:51:55.619 --> 00:51:58.820 many people happy. You really have. And I know that 1160 00:51:58.860 --> 00:52:02.400 your mom would have been very proud of you, you know, 1161 00:52:02.559 --> 00:52:05.800 and your dad was so proud of you. I hope 1162 00:52:05.840 --> 00:52:08.309 that's all healing for you, that you know how much 1163 00:52:08.389 --> 00:52:11.289 joy you've brought, not just people you're related to, but 1164 00:52:11.670 --> 00:52:15.090 so many comedy fans. You should feel the goodness. 1165 00:52:15.329 --> 00:52:18.869 Thank you, Conan. That's so sweet. I really do try 1166 00:52:18.909 --> 00:52:22.130 to take that in. I think initially it was hard 1167 00:52:22.170 --> 00:52:25.550 for me. When I was first on SNL, I felt 1168 00:52:25.590 --> 00:52:28.199 this feeling like I thought that if I performed and 1169 00:52:28.239 --> 00:52:29.940 got to the top and got on SNL and did 1170 00:52:30.039 --> 00:52:33.630 backflips and did all this, I actually got very depressed 1171 00:52:33.650 --> 00:52:35.789 at the peak of SNL because I think I've been 1172 00:52:35.869 --> 00:52:38.110 running and trying to achieve for so long that I thought, oh, well, 1173 00:52:38.150 --> 00:52:39.690 that will bring my mother back. And then when she 1174 00:52:39.710 --> 00:52:41.989 didn't come back, because people come up and compliment me, 1175 00:52:42.030 --> 00:52:43.929 but I couldn't really take it in because I was like, oh, 1176 00:52:44.469 --> 00:52:46.889 I just really want her. You know what I mean? 1177 00:52:47.349 --> 00:52:48.929 But then when I came to terms with that and 1178 00:52:48.949 --> 00:52:51.389 kind of allowed myself to be depressed for several months, 1179 00:52:51.869 --> 00:52:55.110 I

could enjoy just being creative and enjoy it. And 1180 00:52:55.280 --> 00:52:56.820 I do feel that way now. Now I can really 1181 00:52:56.880 --> 00:52:58.920 enjoy it if I make people happy. But I had 1182 00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:01.880 to go through a process of grieving my mom and 1183 00:53:01.920 --> 00:53:05.619 realizing fame doesn't fix anything. You know what I mean? 1184 00:53:05.679 --> 00:53:06.639 But thanks for saying that. 1185 00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:10.340 Well, there's this old Latin saying. I think maybe it's 1186 00:53:10.440 --> 00:53:11.989 Greek and it was stolen by the Romans. 1187 00:53:12.050 --> 00:53:12.360 I don't know. 1188 00:53:12.389 --> 00:53:15.989 But it was basically through tears wisdom. And it's something 1189 00:53:16.030 --> 00:53:19.650 I really believe in, which is it takes time. And 1190 00:53:20.489 --> 00:53:22.750 we have a society that's obsessed with avoiding pain. 1191 00:53:22.769 --> 00:53:24.050 Yeah. 1192 00:53:24.349 --> 00:53:26.969 And people get into all kinds of trouble trying to 1193 00:53:27.030 --> 00:53:27.730 avoid pain. 1194 00:53:27.750 --> 00:53:27.869 Yeah. 1195 00:53:28.460 --> 00:53:32.780 When you sit with it for a little bit and 1196 00:53:32.980 --> 00:53:36.130 enough time has gone by, you can actually get this grace, 1197 00:53:36.210 --> 00:53:39.460 this feeling of like, oh, I'm okay. I'm okay now. 1198 00:53:39.559 --> 00:53:42.579 So you deserve that. You deserve that. You're absolutely one 1199 00:53:42.599 --> 00:53:46.500 of my favorite people and so happy for you. And 1200 00:53:46.639 --> 00:53:48.320 next time I will knock on your door. 1201 00:53:48.340 --> 00:53:51.139 Okay, good. And I hope that I'll be like, come 1202 00:53:51.300 --> 00:53:53.039 on in Conan O'Brien. 1203 00:53:53.099 --> 00:53:58.989 You won't. So insulting. Wait, wait, why? Because my people 1204 00:53:59.030 --> 00:54:05.010 have been here for 180 years. It's Cornel Brian with 1205 00:54:05.030 --> 00:54:07.949 a weed and a leprechaun. No, no, no. I would 1206 00:54:07.989 --> 00:54:09.719 love that. I would love that. 1207 00:54:09.739 --> 00:54:12.739 Oh, my God. Remember when we did the show where 1208 00:54:12.760 --> 00:54:14.480 I told you Heather Graham has a crush on you? 1209 00:54:14.760 --> 00:54:15.159 Yeah. 1210 00:54:15.599 --> 00:54:16.340 That was fun. 1211 00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:19.619 Can I just say thank you for mentioning that on air? 1212 00:54:20.039 --> 00:54:20.739 I wanted to. 1213 00:54:20.760 --> 00:54:22.050 That's really cool. 1214 00:54:22.159 --> 00:54:23.289 So I just had to end with that. 1215 00:54:23.690 --> 00:54:25.760 Maybe we could put that on a loop. Yeah. 1216 00:54:26.019 --> 00:54:27.440 You sure it wasn't Lindsey Graham? 1217 00:54:28.630 --> 00:54:32.849 Hey, it's both. Okay. Well, this is such a pleasure. 1218 00:54:32.909 --> 00:54:34.690 And I want to say I'm so happy for all 1219 00:54:34.730 --> 00:54:36.469 of your tremendous success. 1220 00:54:36.550 --> 00:54:37.150 Oh, thank you. 1221 00:54:37.300 --> 00:54:43.300 Both professionally and personally. And I am proud to know you. 1222 00:54:43.639 --> 00:54:44.239 Oh. 1223 00:54:44.360 --> 00:54:45.239 The end. 1224 00:54:45.260 --> 00:54:45.329 Yay! 1225 00:54:49.650 --> 00:54:51.650 You can watch the show at the same time as 1226 00:54:51.670 --> 00:54:53.690 the show is on. You can watch the show on 1227 00:54:53.730 --> 00:54:57.670 the app or on irishrail.ie. The show is available on 1228 00:54:57.690 --> 00:54:58.150 the TFI line. 1229 00:55:19.469 --> 00:55:23.230 Be proactive about your health with DigiScript. 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Underwriter 1251 00:56:22.519 --> 00:56:25.320 eligibility criteria and T's and C's apply. Cormarker Group Financial 1252 00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:27.360 Services Limited is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland. 1253 00:56:27.860 --> 00:56:36.170 Aaron Blair, who you may be familiar with. 1254 00:56:36.429 --> 00:56:39.710 We call him Blay. Blay. Blay has been with me, 1255 00:56:39.809 --> 00:56:42.840 I believe he started working on the show... as an 1256 00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:45.440 intern back when the TV show, I think

it was 1257 00:56:45.480 --> 00:56:48.230 in black and white. It was a long, long time ago. 1258 00:56:48.670 --> 00:56:53.809 And then rose to prominence with our online stuff and 1259 00:56:54.530 --> 00:56:57.329 we did Clueless Gamer together and we've been joined at 1260 00:56:57.369 --> 00:56:58.869 the hip for a long, long time. 1261 00:56:59.050 --> 00:57:03.199 Well, he often takes a look at the Conan subreddit 1262 00:57:04.079 --> 00:57:07.840 and there is a new thread, a hearty discussion. Do 1263 00:57:07.860 --> 00:57:09.199 you want to hear the subject? 1264 00:57:09.320 --> 00:57:12.260 I'll admit I'm horrified. Don't be. Okay. I don't want 1265 00:57:12.280 --> 00:57:14.340 to embarrass– do you know what a subreddit is? 1266 00:57:14.820 --> 00:57:15.110 Yeah. 1267 00:57:15.260 --> 00:57:16.610 It's the one that's beneath the Reddit. 1268 00:57:16.969 --> 00:57:17.789 Okay. Yeah. 1269 00:57:17.829 --> 00:57:18.469 In a way, you're right. 1270 00:57:18.510 --> 00:57:19.389 Yeah. All right. 1271 00:57:20.070 --> 00:57:22.250 I think Conan is so attractive. 1272 00:57:23.130 --> 00:57:25.170 Now, wait a minute. You said this is a hot debate. 1273 00:57:25.449 --> 00:57:27.389 No, I said– That's horrifying debate. I said a healthy– 1274 00:57:27.590 --> 00:57:29.230 I don't think I said debate. Did I say debate? 1275 00:57:30.329 --> 00:57:32.230 You said a hot topic. Hot topic, yeah. 1276 00:57:32.250 --> 00:57:34.949 Making it seem like it was something that people were 1277 00:57:35.389 --> 00:57:36.929 having a heated discussion about. 1278 00:57:36.969 --> 00:57:40.300 Yeah, you sound like, well, you know– You say tomato, 1279 00:57:40.360 --> 00:57:42.239 I say tomato. There are people out there that think 1280 00:57:42.280 --> 00:57:45.119 Conan's attractive. And then, of course, just as many people 1281 00:57:45.179 --> 00:57:49.659 are firing back. I just mean it's a popular thread. Hey, see, 1282 00:57:49.679 --> 00:57:50.320 that's nice. 1283 00:57:50.699 --> 00:57:53.099 I've always liked Conan, but now I'm starting to think 1284 00:57:53.139 --> 00:57:55.139 of him as attractive. His personality is. 1285 00:57:55.159 --> 00:57:56.469 What do you mean now I'm starting to think of 1286 00:57:56.510 --> 00:57:58.650 him as attractive? You're just growing into it. Okay, I'm 1287 00:57:58.670 --> 00:57:59.809 going to shut up. Okay, go ahead. 1288 00:58:00.030 --> 00:58:02.869 His personality is amazing and his sense of humor is great. 1289 00:58:03.050 --> 00:58:05.289 I can't stop watching videos of him. I just think 1290 00:58:05.329 --> 00:58:08.230 he's so cute. Please tell me there's some Conan fangirls 1291 00:58:08.289 --> 00:58:10.849 out there. Then the first comment is, come on, Conan, 1292 00:58:10.869 --> 00:58:11.809 we know this is you. 1293 00:58:16.760 --> 00:58:20.239 Damn it! I worked hard disguising myself. 1294 00:58:20.320 --> 00:58:23.019 And someone's gone as far as to say, I've thought 1295 00:58:23.059 --> 00:58:26.239 this since I was a teen. Top five Conans. Bearded 1296 00:58:26.320 --> 00:58:29.480 Conan during writer's strike. Conan showing off his long legs. 1297 00:58:29.820 --> 00:58:33.550 Conan delivering Chinese food in NYC. Conan playing air guitar. 1298 00:58:33.690 --> 00:58:36.489 Does this make you uncomfortable? Or do you love this? 1299 00:58:37.989 --> 00:58:38.329 Wow. 1300 00:58:38.630 --> 00:58:39.190 Let's see. 1301 00:58:40.230 --> 00:58:40.510 Both. 1302 00:58:40.949 --> 00:58:43.050 Okay. How about that? Is that a fair answer? 1303 00:58:43.110 --> 00:58:43.510 Yeah. 1304 00:58:43.590 --> 00:58:47.500 It's a sushi roll. There's a discomfort of rice and 1305 00:58:47.539 --> 00:58:51.619 there's the, of course, hearty protein of someone out there 1306 00:58:51.699 --> 00:58:56.500 likes me. What's that show, Crazy, was it Crazy Stupid 1307 00:58:56.519 --> 00:58:59.199 Love or whatever? What's that? That movie, yeah. The movie, 1308 00:58:59.260 --> 00:59:04.050 oh yeah. Yeah, Crazy Stupid Love with Emma Stone and 1309 00:59:04.110 --> 00:59:09.550 Ryan Gosling. The movie starts with, and I saw it 1310 00:59:09.650 --> 00:59:12.860 in the movie. theater, and the movie starts with Emma 1311 00:59:12.880 --> 00:59:15.340 Stone saying, you know, I kind of think Conan O'Brien's, 1312 00:59:15.539 --> 00:59:18.980 you know. Is that right? Yeah, like, and then immediately, 1313 00:59:19.019 --> 00:59:20.599 and I was sort of, I was in the movie 1314 00:59:20.619 --> 00:59:24.099 theater thinking, well, hello, you know, this is just about 1315 00:59:24.139 --> 00:59:26.820 to pat myself on the back. And then the character 1316 00:59:26.840 --> 00:59:28.929 she's talking to is like, what are you talking about? 1317 00:59:28.949 --> 00:59:31.730 Well not here. You think I'd wanna mess, and then 1318 00:59:31.750 --> 00:59:33.389 she says, do you think I'd wanna mess, I don't 1319 00:59:33.409 --> 00:59:36.489 wanna mess around with his ginger junk, with what she said. 1320 00:59:37.170 --> 00:59:40.809 I'm in the theater! And I'm sitting next to my wife! 1321 00:59:42.010 --> 00:59:45.010 And my wife is like nodding, like yeah, trying to. 1322 00:59:45.070 --> 00:59:45.699 Tell me about it. 1323 00:59:45.719 --> 00:59:47.349 Yeah, tell me about it. 1324 00:59:47.360 --> 00:59:47.659 Ginger. 1325 00:59:49.119 --> 00:59:56.150 She's there nodding like, my wife yelled out, preach. Amen. 1326 00:59:56.610 --> 01:00:01.530 Been there. Been there and done that. Oh my God. 1327 01:00:01.610 --> 01:00:01.989 Yeah. 1328 01:00:02.210 --> 01:00:06.699 And so, yeah, I've been humiliated many times. Come on. 1329 01:00:06.760 --> 01:00:09.960 But you're focusing on that. But Emma Stone's character said 1330 01:00:09.980 --> 01:00:10.840 you were attractive. 1331 01:00:10.860 --> 01:00:12.199 Her character did. Come on. 1332 01:00:12.239 --> 01:00:14.559 But then someone wrote that. Like, why can't you just 1333 01:00:14.579 -->

01:00:16.000 be like, nice job, Collins. 1334 01:00:16.099 --> 01:00:19.639 Well done. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Do you agree that– to me, 1335 01:00:19.699 --> 01:00:22.369 it's funny that whenever something like that happens in my life, 1336 01:00:22.849 --> 01:00:25.150 it's immediately followed by the other thing. 1337 01:00:25.230 --> 01:00:25.730 Not this. 1338 01:00:26.010 --> 01:00:26.650 Not always. 1339 01:00:26.889 --> 01:00:29.820 This whole thread is positive reinforcement. In fact, it folds 1340 01:00:29.880 --> 01:00:31.900 in on itself. It says– this is the first time 1341 01:00:31.920 --> 01:00:34.280 I'm reading this. Gorley reading this thread to Conan on 1342 01:00:34.300 --> 01:00:37.969 the podcast would be gold. And then the next comment is, 1343 01:00:38.110 --> 01:00:40.510 as a dude who loves Conan and Gourley for so 1344 01:00:40.530 --> 01:00:41.210 many different reasons. 1345 01:00:41.329 --> 01:00:42.369 Please let this happen. 1346 01:00:42.489 --> 01:00:45.789 Yes. And then the next comment is, all caps, Conan 1347 01:00:46.050 --> 01:00:47.199 in jeggings. 1348 01:00:47.889 --> 01:00:50.420 Oh my God, I remember that. I remembered, I believe 1349 01:00:50.480 --> 01:00:54.000 the three Kardashian sisters were on that day. Yeah. That 1350 01:00:54.019 --> 01:00:55.980 I wore jeggings. I think they were, yeah. And then 1351 01:00:56.000 --> 01:00:58.320 I walked out in the hall afterwards and was talking 1352 01:00:58.340 --> 01:01:01.320 to them and realized, here's chatting up the Kardashians as 1353 01:01:01.460 --> 01:01:01.900 one does. 1354 01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:02.820 Mm-hmm. 1355 01:01:03.039 --> 01:01:06.110 And- It looked like my lower half had been spray 1356 01:01:06.130 --> 01:01:09.530 painted with an acid wash. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. 1357 01:01:09.809 --> 01:01:12.820 I met Conan a few years back. I have, had, 1358 01:01:13.070 --> 01:01:15.420 will always have a huge crush on him. See, that's 1359 01:01:15.460 --> 01:01:18.519 something you can't mitigate. Like that's undeniable. 1360 01:01:18.659 --> 01:01:19.300 What's this guy's name? 1361 01:01:19.579 --> 01:01:27.119 Lindsey Graham. I was so nervous that my husband had 1362 01:01:27.460 --> 01:01:29.079 to really push me to talk to him. So I 1363 01:01:29.119 --> 01:01:31.300 don't think my hubby has any clue how hot for 1364 01:01:31.380 --> 01:01:33.260 Conan I am or else he'd be jealous. 1365 01:01:33.739 --> 01:01:35.920 I mean, I've seen it in person, though. When we 1366 01:01:35.960 --> 01:01:38.030 went on tour, there were a lot of people. There 1367 01:01:38.050 --> 01:01:40.190 was a girl, and it was in the documentary, where 1368 01:01:40.210 --> 01:01:42.510 she was wearing a shirt that said, Dreaming of Bone 1369 01:01:42.550 --> 01:01:43.239 and Conan. 1370 01:01:43.539 --> 01:01:44.039 Oh, wow. 1371 01:01:44.360 --> 01:01:46.400 You know how hard it was for me to make 1372 01:01:46.440 --> 01:01:46.820 that shirt? 1373 01:01:46.840 --> 01:01:47.900 Come on. 1374 01:01:50.260 --> 01:01:53.909 I made them myself with iron-on letters and I sold 1375 01:01:53.929 --> 01:01:57.110 them in the lobby myself. By yourself? Yeah, with a 1376 01:01:57.150 --> 01:02:02.590 mustache on. I'd be like, ladies, if you're like most ladies, 1377 01:02:02.610 --> 01:02:05.320 you want to buy this shirt? I had a bad accent. 1378 01:02:05.340 --> 01:02:09.119 You would like the born-in-with-conin shirt. Sometimes he'd be like, Conan, 1379 01:02:09.139 --> 01:02:11.659 this is so sad. No, I'm not the Conan man. 1380 01:02:12.840 --> 01:02:17.980 I am from the other country. The other country. You 1381 01:02:18.019 --> 01:02:20.219 hadn't even thought your character through. I hadn't really given 1382 01:02:20.260 --> 01:02:21.739 it a lot of thought. I was so busy making 1383 01:02:21.789 --> 01:02:24.030 the Bonin with Conan t-shirts that I had to get 1384 01:02:24.050 --> 01:02:24.469 it out there. 1385 01:02:25.010 --> 01:02:26.550 I got to share more of these. I mean, it 1386 01:02:26.570 --> 01:02:28.889 goes against all my fiber by being to give you 1387 01:02:28.929 --> 01:02:31.780 this joy, but he's the hottest. Here's another one. 1388 01:02:31.909 --> 01:02:32.650 Oh my God. 1389 01:02:33.190 --> 01:02:35.849 OMG is how it was written in full disclosure. I 1390 01:02:35.889 --> 01:02:38.409 have a huge crush on Conan since the seventh grade. 1391 01:02:38.530 --> 01:02:40.329 I'm in my thirties now and he's still the hottest 1392 01:02:40.369 --> 01:02:41.250 celebrity in my book. 1393 01:02:41.619 --> 01:02:41.900 Yeah. 1394 01:02:42.119 --> 01:02:43.880 He's been my crush for 30 years. 1395 01:02:44.320 --> 01:02:45.679 Wow. It's good. 1396 01:02:45.860 --> 01:02:47.139 It's just- It goes on and on. 1397 01:02:47.139 --> 01:02:48.360 Are you forcing how old I am? 1398 01:02:48.619 --> 01:02:49.199 No. 1399 01:02:49.260 --> 01:02:50.280 How do you hear that? 1400 01:02:50.360 --> 01:02:50.570 Come on. 1401 01:02:50.570 --> 01:02:53.769 He's been my crush for 75 years. This is on 1402 01:02:53.809 --> 01:02:56.170 and on about how- I've had a crush on Grandma 1403 01:02:56.210 --> 01:03:02.630 Moses since 1911. Did they mention us at all, girls? 1404 01:03:02.989 --> 01:03:04.150 Not really, no. 1405 01:03:04.190 --> 01:03:04.670 What is that? 1406 01:03:04.710 --> 01:03:05.309 Just crap? 1407 01:03:06.070 --> 01:03:06.369 Yeah. 1408 01:03:07.010 --> 01:03:07.429 It's okay. 1409 01:03:07.570 --> 01:03:08.090 That's all right. 1410 01:03:08.469 --> 01:03:10.010 Yes, girl, he is adorbs. 1411 01:03:10.300 --> 01:03:13.380 His personality and genuineness deaf helps too, heart. 1412 01:03:16.920 --> 01:03:17.760 I'm a straight male. 1413 01:03:17.860 --> 01:03:21.179 I think I'd let Conan have his way with me. 1414 01:03:21.199 --> 01:03:23.780 Well, now we're getting somewhere. 1415 01:03:23.840 --> 01:03:24.260 Finally. 1416 01:03:25.400 --> 01:03:28.449 I've had a big crush on Conan

since I was 13, 14. 1417 01:03:28.449 --> 01:03:30.409 I'm almost 25 now and I still have a thing 1418 01:03:30.449 --> 01:03:32.369 for him. Some friends of mine in college would call 1419 01:03:32.409 --> 01:03:34.710 me Conan after I started talking about my crush on him. 1420 01:03:35.320 --> 01:03:35.880 LMAO. 1421 01:03:36.510 --> 01:03:39.309 I even saw the show live in 2016 and he 1422 01:03:39.389 --> 01:03:41.750 waved at me. I practically swooned. I think if I 1423 01:03:41.809 --> 01:03:43.050 met him, I would die happy. 1424 01:03:43.289 --> 01:03:43.630 LOL. 1425 01:03:43.690 --> 01:03:44.050 Wink, wink. 1426 01:03:44.230 --> 01:03:45.769 I remember waving at that audience member. 1427 01:03:46.789 --> 01:03:46.969 Yeah. 1428 01:03:47.070 --> 01:03:49.789 You're their slash. How he's like my love. 1429 01:03:49.809 --> 01:03:50.469 Yeah. 1430 01:03:50.590 --> 01:03:51.170 You're theirs. 1431 01:03:51.190 --> 01:03:51.349 Right. 1432 01:03:51.670 --> 01:03:55.570 That's nice. Gourley, who's your big celebrity crush? Ava Greene. Really? 1433 01:03:55.829 --> 01:03:56.190 Yeah. 1434 01:03:56.489 --> 01:03:57.309 She's amazing. 1435 01:03:57.469 --> 01:03:57.829 Oh, yeah. 1436 01:03:57.849 --> 01:03:58.210 I love her. 1437 01:03:58.670 --> 01:04:01.610 Ava Greene, she was Vesper Lind in Casino Royale. 1438 01:04:01.650 --> 01:04:04.849 I knew she was a Bond girl. Yeah, in Casino Royale. Yeah, 1439 01:04:04.909 --> 01:04:05.579 she's the best one. 1440 01:04:05.630 --> 01:04:07.630 She's... I'd Google her. 1441 01:04:07.650 --> 01:04:08.489 God, she's beautiful. 1442 01:04:09.349 --> 01:04:12.190 And honestly, too, Judy Greer, past guest. 1443 01:04:12.090 --> 01:04:14.550 On this show. Oh, tell me about it. 1444 01:04:14.630 --> 01:04:14.909 Yeah. 1445 01:04:15.130 --> 01:04:20.840 I mean, she's a beautiful woman who's also hilarious and 1446 01:04:20.880 --> 01:04:22.119 has an amazing personality. 1447 01:04:22.139 --> 01:04:22.460 Yeah. 1448 01:04:22.820 --> 01:04:24.559 I was a little bit nervous when she was on. 1449 01:04:24.840 --> 01:04:25.460 Yeah, I could tell. 1450 01:04:25.739 --> 01:04:26.599 Yeah, she's pretty. 1451 01:04:26.639 --> 01:04:27.780 Yeah. We kept. 1452 01:04:28.889 --> 01:04:31.530 I did. The one she tried to touch a strand 1453 01:04:31.570 --> 01:04:32.010 of her hair. 1454 01:04:32.130 --> 01:04:33.349 I tried to snip it off. 1455 01:04:33.610 --> 01:04:38.110 Yeah. Wait, who is your crush? There's too many over 1456 01:04:38.210 --> 01:04:40.760 the years. Yeah, but there's got to be one. Oh, 1457 01:04:41.199 --> 01:04:41.760 there are. 1458 01:04:41.760 --> 01:04:41.840 Okay. 1459 01:04:42.110 --> 01:04:43.980 There are. You don't want to say them. 1460 01:04:44.019 --> 01:04:46.000 I guess it's different for you because you meet them 1461 01:04:46.059 --> 01:04:47.300 and you know them and that'd be weird. 1462 01:04:47.320 --> 01:04:50.860 They'll be creeped out, yeah. My celebrity crush is Amanda 1463

01:04:50.900 --> 01:04:53.139 Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes. 1464 01:04:54.409 --> 01:04:55.409 The Theranos woman. 1465 01:04:55.429 --> 01:04:59.050 Yeah, yeah. With the voice. Yeah, yeah. I was just like, 1466 01:04:59.489 --> 01:05:03.860 do that voice. Put on way too much lipstick. Now 1467 01:05:04.360 --> 01:05:07.119 wear this black turtleneck. Now try and convince me you 1468 01:05:07.159 --> 01:05:10.539 have a system for measuring blood with one drop that 1469 01:05:10.739 --> 01:05:15.340 doesn't work. That's it, that's it. I love you. That's 1470 01:05:15.400 --> 01:05:16.300 my official kink. 1471 01:05:16.599 --> 01:05:19.670 That's probably what sex life is like with her. 1472 01:05:19.769 --> 01:05:24.840 If I went to a dominatrix, I would say, could 1473 01:05:24.860 --> 01:05:26.920 you dress up as a... They'd be like, wait, what? 1474 01:05:28.739 --> 01:05:29.280 Who's yours? 1475 01:05:29.380 --> 01:05:29.760 Slash? 1476 01:05:30.400 --> 01:05:31.519 Oh, yeah, Slash. 1477 01:05:31.900 --> 01:05:34.300 I mean, before Slash, it was Jordan Knight from New 1478 01:05:34.320 --> 01:05:36.320 Kids on the Block. He's the first boy that I 1479 01:05:36.340 --> 01:05:39.579 was like, aw. But then Slash was my like, I mean, 1480 01:05:39.619 --> 01:05:41.099 there's no other way to say this. He was my 1481 01:05:41.159 --> 01:05:42.340 sexual awakening. 1482 01:05:42.400 --> 01:05:44.760 Oh, that was what Blondie was to me. Oh, really? 1483 01:05:45.019 --> 01:05:45.260 Yeah. 1484 01:05:45.539 --> 01:05:47.000 That's a good one. Oh, my God, yeah. 1485 01:05:47.019 --> 01:05:49.000 But that's the comic strip, the old comic strip. 1486 01:05:49.099 --> 01:05:53.329 Yeah, the comic strip with Dagwood. eating a giant sandwich. 1487 01:05:53.389 --> 01:05:56.170 That was your crush. Don't talk about it too much. 1488 01:05:56.289 --> 01:05:58.750 No one's going to get that. I love crushes. I 1489 01:05:59.010 --> 01:06:01.369 used to love having a crush. It was awful, but 1490 01:06:01.389 --> 01:06:01.869 I loved it. 1491 01:06:02.070 --> 01:06:02.320 Yeah. 1492 01:06:02.610 --> 01:06:04.219 In the early days of the late night show, I 1493 01:06:04.239 --> 01:06:06.059 would have them. I mean, that's why that's too many. 1494 01:06:06.079 --> 01:06:09.300 It was just, I was young and these beautiful women 1495 01:06:09.320 --> 01:06:11.619 were coming on all the time. And there were, I mean, 1496 01:06:12.059 --> 01:06:14.199 I remember the first time Jennifer Connelly came on the 1497 01:06:14.239 --> 01:06:18.099 show and I had to go and have my eyes 1498 01:06:18.139 --> 01:06:22.510 surgically removed and Why? Because they just came popping out 1499 01:06:22.550 --> 01:06:27.909 of my head and exploded. No, she's so beautiful and lovely, 1500 01:06:28.050 --> 01:06:30.670 just such a lovely person. But yeah, I was getting 1501 01:06:31.090 --> 01:06:33.800 crushes all the time back in the day, the 90s. 1502 01:06:33.989 --> 01:06:37.110 It's just one long crush-a-thon. But it's all in the 1503 01:06:37.130 --> 01:06:39.929 past now, for I'm married, ladies. 1504 01:06:39.949 --> 01:06:40.690 Yeah. 1505 01:06:41.210 --> 01:06:42.769 And I won't be for long if I keep using 1506 01:06:42.809 --> 01:06:43.369 this voice. 1507 01:06:44.610 --> 01:06:47.170 Wait, you and the Theranos woman get together with those 1508 01:06:47.190 --> 01:06:47.769 two voices. 1509 01:06:48.570 --> 01:06:53.059 Hello, Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes. I wish to date you. 1510 01:06:53.079 --> 01:06:59.619 I don't think that's possible. I'm busy working on this mechanism. 1511 01:06:59.800 --> 01:07:02.780 I dropped out of Berkeley. 1512 01:07:01.880 --> 01:07:05.909 After sophomore year. 1513 01:07:06.320 --> 01:07:09.289 Well, I think we'd make a wonderful couple. I am 1514 01:07:09.349 --> 01:07:13.789 Colonel Brian from the 90s. You're Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes. 1515 01:07:14.409 --> 01:07:15.289 I must have you. 1516 01:07:16.500 --> 01:07:21.269 Okay, but first I need you to invest $ 40 million 1517 01:07:22.510 --> 01:07:26.590 in this very flawed machine that keeps exploding in Walgreens. 1518 01:07:27.690 --> 01:07:30.920 You're turning me on, you, you temptress. 1519 01:07:31.280 --> 01:07:33.719 I want to put some erotic music under that. 1520 01:07:33.739 --> 01:07:37.079 What a sad sexual fantasy. That's my sexual fantasy. Conan 1521 01:07:37.119 --> 01:07:40.730 O'Brien from the 90s. like 93, 94, when my voice 1522 01:07:40.769 --> 01:07:43.090 is up here because I'm trying so hard to please. 1523 01:07:43.110 --> 01:07:48.929 And Amanda Seyfried playing Elizabeth Holmes. 1524 01:07:49.469 --> 01:07:51.909 Hello, who is it? 1525 01:07:52.730 --> 01:07:59.329 Why, greetings! Portrayal of Elizabeth Holmes? It's I, Conan O'Brien 1526 01:07:59.349 --> 01:08:01.309 from the early 90s. I've brought you flowers. 1527 01:08:01.329 --> 01:08:03.969 Oh, if you could just put those flowers over in 1528 01:08:04.010 --> 01:08:08.280 the corner. I'm working on taking a part This machine 1529 01:08:08.300 --> 01:08:11.059 that we stole so that we can turn it into 1530 01:08:11.099 --> 01:08:14.659 what looks like a Theranos machine to defraud investors. 1531 01:08:15.039 --> 01:08:20.140 Well, it sounds like an erotic evening for us. Let's 1532 01:08:20.180 --> 01:08:23.930 get to it. I love that turtleneck. It swallows your 1533 01:08:23.970 --> 01:08:24.470 whole head. 1534 01:08:24.479 --> 01:08:27.050 Yeah, I'm wearing it. 1535 01:08:27.890 --> 01:08:33.909 Anyway, you wouldn't happen to have $ 65 million? Oh, you're 1536 01:08:34.050 --> 01:08:38.909 turning me on. I love being defrauded by you. Biographical 1537 01:08:38.970 --> 01:08:46.699 portrayal of Elizabeth Holmes as played by Amanda Seyfried. I'm close. 1538 01:08:47.520 --> 01:08:51.420 I'm so close. Just talk to me a little more. 1539 01:08:51.659 --> 01:08:53.920 Tell me how it's going to be in every Walgreens.

1540 01:08:55.149 --> 01:08:59.850 Well, the plan is to have there be a wellness event. 1541 01:09:00.260 --> 01:09:07.640 In every Walgreens. And kibbity-bee, we got there! That's right, 1542 01:09:07.720 --> 01:09:09.779 that's how Conan O'Brien orgasms in 1994. 1543 01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:10.590 Oh, God. 1544 01:09:10.970 --> 01:09:12.010 A kibbity-bee! 1545 01:09:12.390 --> 01:09:13.149 Oh, God. 1546 01:09:13.270 --> 01:09:17.949 And a dibbity-dabbity-doo. No, no. 1547 01:09:18.010 --> 01:09:21.250 Where's my human resources button? 1548 01:09:21.390 --> 01:09:25.319 I love, I love, I love my insistence on calling her. 1549 01:09:26.789 --> 01:09:32.689 Dramatic portrayal. It's not Amanda Seyfried and it's not Elizabeth Holmes. 1550 01:09:32.710 --> 01:09:35.770 It's Elizabeth Holmes as portrayed by Amanda Seyfried. 1551 01:09:37.439 --> 01:09:41.359 Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, 1552 01:09:41.619 --> 01:09:45.180 and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced 1553 01:09:45.220 --> 01:09:48.880 by Adam Sachs, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, 1554 01:09:49.079 --> 01:09:52.270 and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song 1555 01:09:52.289 --> 01:09:55.449 by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. 1556 01:09:55.789 --> 01:09:56.489 Take it away, Jimmy. 1557 01:09:59.869 --> 01:10:02.869 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent 1558 01:10:02.909 --> 01:10:04.220 producer is Jennifer Samples. 1559 01:10:04.680 --> 01:10:05.899 Engineering by Will Becton. 1560 01:10:06.239 --> 01:10:10.149 Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, 1561 01:10:10.430 --> 01:10:13.579 Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review 1562 01:10:13.619 --> 01:10:16.079 this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your 1563 01:10:16.140 --> 01:10:19.180 review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? 1564 01:10:19.460 --> 01:10:23.640 Call the Team Coco hotline at. 1565 01:10:23.279 --> 01:10:24.420 323-451-2821 and leave a message. 1566 01:10:24.720 --> 01:10:27.000 It too could be featured on a future episode. And 1567 01:10:27.039 --> 01:10:29.840 if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs 1568 01:10:29.859 --> 01:10:33.939 a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts 1569 01:10:34.090 --> 01:10:43.380 are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in 1570 01:10:43.439 --> 01:10:45.720 association with. 1571 01:10:51.800 --> 01:10:52.079 Earwolf. 1572 01:11:10.229 --> 01:11:24.289 Every day you make around 35,000 choices. 1573 01:11:24.630 --> 01:11:27.869 What to wear, toast or cereal? One more episode or 1574 01:11:27.909 --> 01:11:30.289 time for bed? The last thing you need is to 1575 01:11:30.310 --> 01:11:33.229 stress over your car insurance. That's where Cornmarket comes in. 1576 01:11:33.890 --> 01:11:36.920 We make choosing your car insurance simple. We do all 1577 01:11:36.939 --> 01:11:38.619 the hard work so you don't have to spend your 1578 01:11:38.659 --> 01:11:41.819 time comparing endless quotes. Call us today and save up 1579 01:11:41.930 --> 01:11:43.609 to € 200 off your car insurance. 1580 01:11:44.010 --> 01:11:44.670 Cornmarket. 1581 01:11:44.930 --> 01:11:47.750 We compare, you save. Offer applies to new customers who 1582 01:11:47.789 --> 01:11:50.850 take out a new policy by phone before 31st December 2026. 1583 01:11:50.850 --> 01:11:52.649 Discounts are up to a max 10% of the premium 1584 01:11:52.710 --> 01:11:55.649 and are subject to a minimum premium of € 355. Underwriter 1585 01:11:55.689 --> 01:11:58.510 eligibility criteria and T & Cs apply. Cornmarket Group Financial 1586 01:11:58.529 --> 01:12:00.510 Services Ltd is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland.