Full Transcript for Understanding People: Fastest Way To Better Sales, Better Interviews with Nancy Zare

personality styling so relevant in the space? 00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:22.160 If you deal with people, you're dealing with personality. 00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:24.800 And hence that's why it's relevant. 00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:30.639 One of the great things that my clients report, we focus on helping them make sales. 00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:37.680 As you mentioned, I uh help them convert 50% of their prospects into clients or even more. 00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:47.759 What they tell me is the real benefit of our work together is their relationships improve in their families and out in society. 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:56.480 And that's because they're able to read the other person's personality style and make adjustments so that things go more smoothly. 00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:58.480 Isn't that a wonderful thing? 00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:14.399 Because there isn't a person here on the planet that doesn't have someone that they kind of rub the wrong way and and they don't really appreciate, and they don't appreciate you, and hence it's it's important to learn how to get along, right? 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:15.279 Absolutely. 00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:17.439 And I would chalk it up to some of that. 00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:19.279 I don't necessarily appreciate that person. 00:05:19.279 --> 00:05:28.639 Maybe in some cases it's a misunderstanding, but maybe that's the whole point is it's not understanding that person's where where that person is coming from on a deeper level. 00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:29.839 You're correct. 00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:35.199 And it started, Carl, if I can tell a quick story about the origin of this. 00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:36.720 I was 10 years old. 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:39.279 My parents had a very stormy merit. 00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:45.279 And my earliest memories are of the cupboards banging and the glasses breaking and door slamming. 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:47.199 It was, you know, loud voices. 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:48.720 It was not a good scene. 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:55.120 I saw a show on TV that Father Knows Best was able to help quarreling children get along. 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.519 And I said, ooh, my parents need that. 00:05:57.519 --> 00:06:02.000 Now, the interesting thing is they let me do this intervention on them. 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:05.199 Now, I didn't even know the word intervention at age 10. 00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:09.920 All I knew is I was going to do what Father Knows Best did, and I sat my parents down. 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:11.600 Now, the kids were in a couch. 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:14.959 Obviously, for TV purposes, they had to sit next to each other. 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:18.959 But my parents were so angry they could not sit next to each other. 00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:24.720 However, I started with the oldest, which was my dad, and I wouldn't let mom interrupt. 00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:28.959 And I asked what was the matter, and then I had my mom do the same thing. 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:38.639 And at

the end of it, Carl, I translated what my parents said because they did not understand each other's conversation. 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:41.680 Now they were both native-born English-speaking adults. 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:43.839 So what was it they didn't understand? 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:48.879 The personality style, the values underneath that style. 00:06:48.879 --> 00:06:52.720 And hence they were butting heads all the time. 00:06:52.720 --> 00:07:01.279 When you understand someone else's style, that person that rubs you the wrong way, you may not like them and want them as a friend. 00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:08.000 It can make the relationship go more smoothly, and hence both of you will walk away in a better place. 00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:20.800 It's certainly something that just the way you've described it is would be crucial in sales because you are talking to people on a regular basis, and or you should be if you're trying to be successful in sales. 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:26.160 You shouldn't be just talking to one person thinking, okay, I made a sale, unless you, I don't know, sold the world or something. 00:07:26.160 --> 00:07:28.240 In that case, that's a hefty price tag. 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:42.000 But you would be remiss to not be understanding of call me crazy, but you would be remiss to not be understanding of where the other person's coming from and hopefully not need an interpreter like what you had to do with your parents to figure it out. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.000 I would say that sales training 101. 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:45.759 Would I be wrong to assume that? 00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:48.079 Absolutely on target. 00:07:48.079 --> 00:07:58.079 And again, think about the value of being able to read or understand how the other person operates and what are values and priorities to that. 00:07:58.079 --> 00:08:06.879 You see, at the end of that conversation with my parents, I turned to my dad and I said, This is what you're going to do, so mom will feel loved. 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:11.680 And I said to my mom, this is what you do, so dad will be respected. 00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:13.600 The words change. 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:16.879 And that's because they speak different languages. 00:08:16.879 --> 00:08:19.519 They had different personality styles. 00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:35.600 And so you're not going to change yourself, but by changing the words you use, adjusting what you say to match the values of your prospect or whoever it might be, your podcast guest, or maybe it's a podcast host. 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:40.399 When you adjust what you say, you're going to be in harmony. 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.519 And there's going to be a sense of, wow, you get me. 00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:44.480 We're alike. 00:08:44.480 --> 00:08:47.759 And hence I call this the AlikAbility sales system. 00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:50.879 So this is a system that you've created. 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:51.679 Yes. 00:08:51.919 --> 00:08:53.600 I want to get some information about that. 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:56.240 I don't want to give you, you know, have you give away your best stuff or anything. 00:08:56.240 --> 00:08:58.320 Obviously, that's what your clients are for. 00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:07.120 But is there a specific system or systems that you tapped into to create your own system that has paved the way for you? 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:11.679 Well, it's understanding that there are four different personality styles. 00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:17.840 And each of those personality styles has a priority around certain value. 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:26.639 So when you speak the values of those styles, that's when the person immediately says, Wow, I feel connected with you. 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:27.600 You get me. 00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:33.039 And they relax, the trust builds, sales resistance drops away. 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:36.000 Now everybody loves to buy, hate to be sold. 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.159 That's what sales resistance is. 00:09:38.159 --> 00:09:43.759 So sales resistance drops, and now that opens the door to doing business together. 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:45.919 Hence that's the value of AlikAbility. 00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:48.559 And there are five steps. 00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:54.559 Step one is to figure out those four styles, have a description, know the values. 00:09:54.559 --> 00:09:56.639 Uh, step two is who are you? 00:09:56.639 --> 00:09:57.840 What's your style? 00:09:57.840 --> 00:09:59.200 Why is that important? 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:03.919 You tend to sell the way you buy, so you need to know how you're configured, right? 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:08.240 The third step is to diagnose your prospect style. 00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:12.080 And I teach my clients to do it in less than a minute. 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:15.679 Uh, the fourth is to now shift. 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:18.960 Remember those value words, respect or love. 00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:22.000 You shift what you say to match the other person. 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:26.480 And the last step is well, we do have some blind spots. 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:30.000 We don't really know sometimes how we're impacting others. 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:34.639 So you need to downplay or discard that rough edge in you. 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:35.600 Phenomenal. 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:40.080 And you just breezed by that in a very precise and concise way. 00:10:40.080 --> 00:10:42.559 I want to unbundle this a little bit more if I can. 00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:45.679 With the personality styles, you said they're four. 00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:47.840 Are they based on color? 00:10:47.840 --> 00:10:51.039 Red, uh blue, or green, or something like completely different? 00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:59.360 You're right to ask that question, Carl, because there are over 200 personality uh systems in the world. 00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:01.440 And color is one of them. 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:06.080 Probably people have heard of something called DISC or

Myers Briggs. 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:09.759 There are animals like dog names, there are birds. 00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:21.679 Well, after 35 years of research, the system I use, which uh came from doing some research, we use numbers to describe these four styles. 00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:28.320 The numbers correspond to how many contacts someone needs before they make up their mind. 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:31.279 So the numbers are two, four, six, and eight. 00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:37.919 Our number two buyer makes up their mind in only one, at most two contacts, that's decisive. 00:11:37.919 --> 00:11:43.840 So already you're getting a sense of their values, which is efficiency, speed, results, right? 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:50.399 The number eight, on the other hand, which it takes the longest time, they take eight to infinity. 00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:53.360 Turn that eight on its side, it's infinity, right? 00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:54.720 The sign for infinity. 00:11:54.720 --> 00:12:05.600 This is the person who asks a lot of questions, needs scientific evidence, needs to consider and think about and digest and independently come to their own understanding. 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:10.240 It takes a time for that to take place, hence eight or more context. 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:12.960 And of course, the four and the six are in between. 00:12:12.960 --> 00:12:16.559 They too have very different values and priorities. 00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:18.639 Is it possible? 00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:20.720 And thank you so much for explaining that. 00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:26.720 Is it possible that we have a little bit of two, four, six, and eight in each of us? 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:30.960 Or is it just I'm a two, you're an eight, oh, I gotta learn how to live with that. 00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:40.399 Oh, I love the fact you said that because 70% of the population is strong in two styles, at least two styles. 00:12:40.399 --> 00:12:48.480 And one style we use socially, and that's the one that when we initially talk to someone, we think to ourselves, well, that's who they are. 00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:58.320 But then when we ask a decision for to make a buying decision, we ask a question, all of a sudden they revert to a different style, which is their buying style. 00:12:58.320 --> 00:13:05.200 So one of the things I teach is how to discern, how to figure out when someone has shifted their style. 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:18.799 And it usually happens by listening to their vocal qualities or watching their behavioral cues, because they will slow down or speed up depending on a different style. 00:13:19.200 --> 00:13:22.720 And you're right, there's so many different personality styles out there. 00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:24.240 I didn't realize there were that many. 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:33.840 I mean, I'd known of Myers Briggs and DISC, and I remember doing colors training back, don't even want to hazard a guess as to how many years ago it was, but it's at least 15. 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:41.360 So I knew a little bit about it, but I didn't know if in this case it there was still an overlap with the with the different personality styles. 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:43.440 So let me ask you this then. 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:50.399 How is this beneficial, or how is this going to more deeply relate to podcasters? 00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:52.960 Give me, you know, your your perspective on that. 00:13:53.440 --> 00:13:56.000 This is true for almost all of us. 00:13:56.000 --> 00:14:04.159 Of these four styles, two of them, remember I said 70% of the population goes between two styles. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:08.320 Well, two of those styles are you feel really connected to. 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:13.840 It's instant rapport, easy to talk with them, easy to interview them. 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:25.120 The other two styles, it feels like you know, pulling on a tar baby or getting stuck and you not getting anywhere, and you know, it's all balled up. 00:14:25.120 --> 00:14:37.279 So I recommend for those of you thinking about podcasting or currently have a podcast or want to be a guest, you want to find the right personality style, right? 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:38.320 That chemistry. 00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:39.759 You know what I'm talking about. 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:41.840 You vibe with certain people, right? 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:46.559 Well, don't you want to talk to them rather than the ones you don't vibe with? 00:14:46.559 --> 00:14:48.879 So, how can you recognize who that is? 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:54.639 Well, again, that's what I teach, so that you can screen them in or screen them out. 00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:57.679 Is it as simple as a screening process? 00:14:57.679 --> 00:15:05.919 Or I don't know if this is me just thinking, of course, I have my hosting hat on because I'm a host, but can a personality style be masked? 00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:17.919 So, for example, I have an initial conversation with you, and then we get to the interview, and it's a complete and utter, I don't know what went wrong, because it seemed like we were connecting on our discovery call. 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:23.919 Do you remember when I told you there's a social persona and then the decision-making persona? 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:26.399 So that's what you're experiencing. 00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:31.840 The social persona came showed up for that initial interview and that initial screening. 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:34.960 And you said to yourself, Oh, goody, this is going to be fun. 00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:37.440 And then who came for the interview? 00:15:37.440 --> 00:15:39.120 The one that was different. 00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:46.639 Because now that they had the transaction sewed up, so to speak, you know, then a different outside of them came out. 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:47.600 Interesting. 00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:51.600 Is it something too that is, and and maybe I'm thinking of performance? 00:15:51.600 --> 00:15:54.559 Is it

something that you can switch on, switch off? 00:15:54.559 --> 00:16:09.039 So, for example, if somebody knows they have to be on, they almost assume a certain personality, like a you know, broadcaster or an actor or a musician who knows that, hey, I have to do this time, I have to be this type of person here and there, here and now. 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:10.240 Absolutely. 00:16:10.240 --> 00:16:20.399 It is something you can switch on, especially if you are aware that you can bring your energy up or pull your energy down based on the situation. 00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:33.600 And that's part of what I also teach, because the person who's highly energetic and enthusiastic will turn off that person who is obviously more thoughtful and needs time, uh, and vice versa. 00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:39.759 The the one who's slower and more thoughtful is a pain in the neck to the one who wants things done now. 00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:56.879 So, yes, by understanding that these are differences, and you can take that into account in terms of how you show up, how you speak, how you present, even how you dress, so that the other person can feel like I get you, we're alike. 00:16:57.279 --> 00:16:58.559 Wow, phenomenal. 00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:05.759 And some people are better at it than others, Carl, because some people are more emotionally, what's the right word? 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:14.319 They have a higher EQ emotional quotient in terms of reading people and getting a sense of ooh, what I just said, you know, made them wince. 00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:18.480 But gee, when I do it this way, you know, we're it compatible. 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:19.519 Wow. 00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:20.000 Okay. 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:22.000 And I'm certainly glad you mentioned that. 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:24.400 Almost like an empath in a way. 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:31.920 It could be, but again, I believe these things can be taught as opposed to a natural gift that someone has. 00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:37.200 And I want to emphasize that because the listener may be thinking, oh, I can never do that. 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:38.720 But actually you can. 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:51.839 You know, I've worked with hundreds of clients, and so I know that when you understand these four styles and the values underneath those styles, it's as easy as using the right words. 00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:58.960 When you use the language of the other person, like respect versus love, you're going to get the results you want. 00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:01.920 Does NLP play into this as well? 00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:05.440 Or is that something completely completely different? 00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:14.960 I don't use NLP, but NLP Neurolinguistic programming, for those people who might not be familiar with these acronyms that we throw around. 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:23.759 It's a good system for, again, building rapport with someone, and you do it through nonverbal uh behavioral cues. 00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:26.400 So if someone's smiling, you smile back. 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:28.079 It's kind of a natural thing to do. 00:18:28.079 --> 00:18:32.559 But if they've got resting their hand on their chin, you might do that. 00:18:32.559 --> 00:18:37.039 And, you know, not immediately, but subtly, slowly do it. 00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:43.680 And the other person begins to think like, you know, this place of community that we're we really get each other. 00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:47.359 However, my concern is that it can be artificial. 00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:55.599 And when you overdo it, the other person, even if it's unconscious, they say to themselves, there's something phony here. 00:18:55.599 --> 00:19:02.880 And that's the reason why using words, which is what I teach, the value word, is much more genuine. 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:10.160 Because when I use the right word, like for the number two, we mentioned that they want speed and results and efficiency. 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:20.480 But talking about how we're going to get it done right away and let's get going, they're feeling like I'm getting there, as opposed to, you know, moving in really quickly. 00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:22.960 And, you know, they're going to think, what happened to this person? 00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.160 Did she become some sort of, you know, energizer bunny? 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:32.480 And of course, the person to help you on this journey is Nancy. 00:19:32.480 --> 00:19:34.319 So definitely connect with her. 00:19:34.319 --> 00:19:42.960 Actually, Nancy, I'll give you the opportunity to share with folks at this time either how they can connect with you or what or what you'd like to pass along to them as your gift today. 00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:50.960 What a good question because we talked earlier about I was gonna, based on our conversation, figure out what I was gonna pass along. 00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:56.559 And so I think what I'm gonna pass along is the Alikability Assessment. 00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:05.119 And this is an opportunity for you to identify your ideal prospects personality style. 00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:08.559 Wouldn't that be a little juicy tidbit to own? 00:20:08.559 --> 00:20:17.839 So I will provide the link and Carl will pass it along and you know, enjoy finding out just who is your ideal personality. 00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:19.599 Remember, there's usually two. 00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:23.599 Uh, this particular quiz will show you the first dominant one. 00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:27.759 And if you want to know the whole picture, then you and I should talk. 00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:29.920 That's a very, very generous gift. 00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:31.119 Thank you very much, Nancy. 00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:38.799 We'll make sure that link is in the show notes as well as all of your contact information, how to connect with her on social media, follow her, like her, all of that stuff. 00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:39.920 Oh my goodness. 00:20:39.920 --> 00:20:45.680 I feel like we

could just continue to do this for the entire day, but we probably shouldn't. 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:48.400 So we can have a round two, Carl. 00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:49.839 We'll definitely do round two. 00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:55.359 Maybe I should take the assessment, and round two is maybe unbundling my assessment. 00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:55.839 Maybe. 00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:58.160 Oh, I would love to do that. 00:20:58.160 --> 00:21:01.440 Especially, by the way, I do this on LinkedIn. 00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:06.160 I read people's profiles on LinkedIn so you know who you're gonna talk to. 00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:11.759 And maybe you can use that for screening, Carl, and save yourself some aggravation. 00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:13.039 I love it. 00:21:13.039 --> 00:21:14.480 Let's definitely do that. 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:22.960 Nancy's there before I turn you loose to uh go be personality driven with some uh fantastic clients that you serve. 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:24.319 I'll give you the final thought. 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:25.680 Final thought. 00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:34.640 I hope that I have made some of your brain spin and twirl, and you're beginning to think, hmm, there's something more to this personality thing than I thought. 00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:37.839 Here's my quote that I'm known for. 00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:42.240 Information without application is useless. 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:47.119 And so all the little nuggets you may have picked up today, and I hope there were many. 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:51.440 If you don't put them into operation, it's gone, folks. 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:52.240 Gonzo. 00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:59.039 So make a commitment that you're going to apply just one idea that you heard today. 00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:03.359 To your sales success, Nancy's here, sales whisperer. 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:04.880 That's a great place to leave it. 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:07.680 Nancy, thank you so much for being my guest today. 00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:08.799 My pleasure. 00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:11.279 And hey, thank you for being a part of the show today. 00:22:11.279 --> 00:22:12.559 So glad you could join us. 00:22:12.559 --> 00:22:15.359 Believe it or not, I can't work this magic by myself. 00:22:15.359 --> 00:22:31.359 So, thanks to my amazing team, our audio engineer Dom Carillo, our sonic writing genius Kenton Dobrowolski, and the person who works the arms, all of our arms actually, our project manager and my trusty assistant, Julovell Tiongco, known to us here simply as July. 00:22:31.359 --> 00:22:33.519 If you like what you heard today, let us know. 00:22:33.519 --> 00:22:37.200 It can leave us a comment or review, or even send us a voice notes. 00:22:37.200 --> 00:22:41.519 And if you really liked it, we hope you'll share it with your friends and your colleagues. 00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:45.440 If you don't like what you heard today, well, please feel free to share with your enemies. 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.279 And if you know someone who would make a great guest on the show, let us know about it. 00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:56.720 You can get in touch with us by going to our show notes where all of our connection points are there, including the links to our website, LinkedIn, and Facebook as well. 00:22:56.720 --> 00:23:02.240 And if you're ready to be a guest on podcasts, or even start your own show, let's have a conversation. 00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:06.400 We'll show you the simplest way to get into the podcasting space and rock it. 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:09.359 Because after all, we're Podcast Solutions Made Simple. 00:23:09.359 --> 00:23:11.200 Catch again next time.