Full Transcript for Why You Don't Do What You Know You Should

00:03:52.120 --> 00:03:53.800 of the things you know is toward your business. I'm 71 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:56.159 having organizations as well and taking care of their people, 72 00:03:56.680 --> 00:03:59.919 but sometimes it's delayed, and I feel like it's like, well, 73 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:01.800 like you said, we can put off. What I hear 74 00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:05.199 you saying is it will manifest itself at some point 75 00:04:05.479 --> 00:04:11.560 in whether it's Alzheimer's diminished mental clarity if we're not 76 00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:14.800 getting that. And I don't you know the numbers better 77 00:04:14.840 --> 00:04:17.040 than I have, but I you know of how much 78 00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:19.519 hours of sleep we should be getting over the course 79 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:21.319 of our life, Like what is it? What's the what's 80 00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:24.639 the percentage roughly of our total life expand you know 81 00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:32.879 the number of the right so at least anyway, Yeah. 82 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:35.759 Yeah, you think about like the recommendation is six to 83 00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:39.319 eight hours of sleep every night. There's twenty four hours 84 00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:41.319 in a day. So if you're getting eight hours. That's 85 00:04:41.319 --> 00:04:43.439 a third of your day sleeping. So if you live 86 00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:47.040 to seventy five twenty five years, you're supposed to spend sleeping. 87 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:47.839 There you go. 88 00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:49.439 It's incredible when you think about it. 89 00:04:49.639 --> 00:04:51.920 Yeah, it is. No, it absolutely is. And to your 90 00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:54.759 point is every time. Essentially what I hear you saying 91 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:57.120 a little bit is if you're not doing that and 92 00:04:57.160 --> 00:04:59.439 take care of yourself, you're kind of robbing a bit 93 00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:01.720 of your future, yourself a way too of like, Okay, 94 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:04.240 what's the quality of my life going to be like? 95 00:05:05.160 --> 00:05:08.480 And so it's not just we obviously want rest, but 96 00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:12.519 being aware of this and being very intentional, it's like, 97 00:05:13.480 --> 00:05:14.879 you know, it just a way. It sounds to me 98 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:18.160 like a way of being jailing and making a switch there. 99 00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:21.360 Yes, it absolutely is a switch. Like we said, you know, 100 00:05:21.399 --> 00:05:23.480 we used to think, oh, you know, I can sleep 101 00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:26.399 later in life when I'm retired or whatever. But you're 102 00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:29.639 absolutely right. What you're doing now is going to impact 103 00:05:29.959 --> 00:05:35.439 not only those later years in quality of cognition and longevity, 104 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:39.040 but it's also affecting your day to day. You're less focused, 105 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:42.079 you're less productive, even though you think you may be 106 00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:45.920 more productive. You know, it's and it's the little things 107 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:48.959 like you didn't get the time right on a meeting, 108 00:05:49.480 --> 00:05:51.480 or you missed a meeting that was in your calendar, 109 00:05:51.639 --> 00:05:54.639 or you didn't see a phone call, or you didn't 110 00:05:54.680 --> 00:05:57.759 see an email. Like it's those little things where we're 111 00:05:57.800 --> 00:06:01.639 not completely focused and that's because we're not getting great sleep. 112 00:06:02.519 --> 00:06:05.759 Yeah, well that leads me to a follow up question. 113 00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:14.879 Then we're missing those things and maybe maybe we're we're 114 00:06:14.920 --> 00:06:17.759 not paying attention and we're not totally aware yet a Jalen. 115 00:06:17.879 --> 00:06:21.480 But where people are overriding I would say signals. So 116 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:25.399 our body is you know, you know, giving us signals, 117 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:30.000 and why are the higher achievers more likely to override 118 00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:32.399 those body signals? Like you said, is it just is 119 00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:35.560 it really that drive to achieve and do more? 120 00:06:37.560 --> 00:06:41.800 Yeah? I think it's you know, we're so consumed with 121 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:46.560 professionalism and being reliable and accountable that yeah, we will 122 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:49.720 sacrifice those things and then we don't listen to the 123 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:55.480 cues and the signals that are appointments or yeah, not 124 00:06:55.560 --> 00:06:59.199 catching something. There's there was a study that people who 125 00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:06.120 don't get enough sleep miss facial recognition from their people 126 00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:08.160 that they're involved with. They did a study it was 127 00:07:08.199 --> 00:07:10.920 like I can see your face, and I'm responding to 128 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:15.360 how you're responding to me. When I'm tired, I'm not 129 00:07:15.480 --> 00:07:17.959 as aware, I'm not as sharp, and so now I 130 00:07:18.040 --> 00:07:21.199 might be missing how my spouse is reacting to me, 131 00:07:21.319 --> 00:07:24.920 or my children or my colleagues. So then that starts 132 00:07:24.959 --> 00:07:30.319 to affect your relationships, and I think we we don't. 133 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:32.839 I think it's awareness. I think ultimately the answer to 134 00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:34.639 your question is why do we override them? I think 135 00:07:34.639 --> 00:07:37.720 it's awareness. I don't think we even realize that those 136 00:07:37.720 --> 00:07:42.199 two things are connected. You know, we may be like, oh, 137 00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:45.120 I didn't sleep great last night, and you know, yeah, 138 00:07:45.160 --> 00:07:47.519 I wasn't as sharp today, But over time that does 139

00:07:47.560 --> 00:07:52.800 build up, and so I think that drive to produce 140 00:07:53.759 --> 00:07:57.639 really deadens the signals and the cues, and so then yeah, 141 00:07:57.680 --> 00:07:59.720 we just ignore them, and we ignore them, and then 142 00:07:59.759 --> 00:08:03.720 they become louder, and then they manifest this chronic illnesses 143 00:08:04.279 --> 00:08:07.600 and more serious diseases, and then then you're really And 144 00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:09.639 that's I work with a lot of people who either 145 00:08:09.959 --> 00:08:14.040 have been diagnosed with a chronic disease or noone that half. 146 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:17.560 You know, I'm fifty six, and so it's things are starting. 147 00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:19.439 The bells and whistles are starting to go off now 148 00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:22.600 and people are like, oh shoot, now I really got 149 00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:25.839 to focus on my health. So yeah, I think I 150 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:29.720 think that drive to perform overrides any cues, and then 151 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:31.000 the cues will get louder. 152 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:34.240 Well. And to your point, Juline, what I've seen our 153 00:08:34.279 --> 00:08:36.159 rive experience and I've seen others, and I love your 154 00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:39.559 take on this is we're we're overriding the signals and 155 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:43.559 potentially amplifying it when we start to Because if you're 156 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:48.240 using caffeine, sugar, other foods right to kind of help 157 00:08:48.519 --> 00:08:51.720 because now I want to know more and those are 158 00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:54.519 like cann't make it even probably even worse, right because 159 00:08:54.519 --> 00:08:57.080 you're now you're actually adding addition. Now you're not getting 160 00:08:57.080 --> 00:09:00.000 into sleep and you're adding you know this other component 161 00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:02.480 which I was a great book I read years ago 162 00:09:04.039 --> 00:09:07.399 about how our brains work, and they did and you 163 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:08.879 maybe know more about this than I do, but like 164 00:09:08.960 --> 00:09:12.200 sugar and how that makes you do more short term 165 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:14.799 decision making versus long term decision making. So I'm not 166 00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:17.159 sure when you're sleep deprived, it's gonna be harder to 167 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:21.039 think longer term. And like you said, the facial recognition 168 00:09:21.120 --> 00:09:23.480 and things like that. So you think you're being productive, 169 00:09:23.519 --> 00:09:25.799 but you're not actually being as productive as you could be. 170 00:09:26.679 --> 00:09:29.519 Yeah, it's harder to recall. That's why I always tell 171 00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:33.039 students like you think that cramming that extra hour at 172 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:35.440 night is going to help you do better on the test, 173 00:09:35.480 -->

00:09:38.159 but you're not going to be able to recall that information. 174 00:09:39.480 --> 00:09:42.399 Short term memory get stored into long term memory, so 175 00:09:43.799 --> 00:09:46.279 that that's another big thing, is you know, Yeah, you 176 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:49.240 just you're you're not as quick, you're not as sharp. 177 00:09:49.720 --> 00:09:52.679 Yeah. Absolutely, Well, what I'm hearing you say is that 178 00:09:52.759 --> 00:09:55.840 if we can, if we can adjust our behaviors, that's 179 00:09:55.879 --> 00:09:59.639 going to help create greater success. And I think that 180 00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:02.519 leads you know, a follow up point that you and 181 00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:04.879 I talked about before we recorded this podcast, which I thought 182 00:10:04.919 --> 00:10:08.720 was fascinating, was this idea of immunity to change. So 183 00:10:08.840 --> 00:10:12.039 if we know that there's a problem, Jayleen, if we 184 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:15.799 can finally start to acknowledge the signals, and I guess 185 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:18.600 you know, I want I want to encourage people that 186 00:10:18.639 --> 00:10:20.200 are listening in and by the way, if you guys 187 00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:22.039 are listening and want to connect with Jayleen, I'll make 188 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:24.320 sure that's all in the show notes. Jayleen and are 189 00:10:24.720 --> 00:10:26.759 are connected on LinkedIn and such, and she's got some 190 00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:31.639 amazing resources for you. But I think number one, we 191 00:10:31.679 --> 00:10:34.120 have to be, like you said, self aware of looking 192 00:10:34.200 --> 00:10:36.679 at these signals and if we can at least get that. 193 00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:38.200 And I think part of it is, hey, can you 194 00:10:38.279 --> 00:10:41.000 acknowledge that in yourself? But maybe I would just ask you, Jayleen, 195 00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:44.320 that you're working with students others. Is there, like you said, 196 00:10:44.360 --> 00:10:46.879 you talk with this other student working on a project 197 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:49.960 you know as focus? Is there much of a resistance 198 00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:52.399 to people acknowledging the signals or are they quick to 199 00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:54.519 acknowledge the signals but then they just don't know how 200 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:56.919 to adjust from there? What is? What do you see? 201 00:10:58.120 --> 00:11:00.559 Yeah? I think we can all recognize the signals. When 202 00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:06.159 you start to say, like you know, attention span, recall, focus, alertness, 203 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:09.759 we we all know those things. And then I think, 204 00:11:10.120 --> 00:11:13.000 just like you hit the nail, then what do I do? Okay, 205 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:17.279 so I know this is a problem. What or I'm overwhelmed? 206 00:11:17.360 --> 00:11:19.080 You know, I know I should be working out, I 207 00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:20.720 know I should be eating healthy. I know I should 208 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:24.679 be getting more sleep. I don't even know where to start. 209 00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:31.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And but to your point of 210 00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:32.759 the immunity to change. 211 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:36.200 And and I credit this is Robert Keegan and Lisa 212 00:11:36.279 --> 00:11:38.720 Leahy minds at work who created this whole. It's an 213 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:42.399 actual process that a coaching process that we use if 214 00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:44.720 the studies at Tulane for the behavior change, and I've 215 00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:48.399 used it now with my own clients, recognizing, like you said, 216 00:11:48.919 --> 00:11:52.360 being humble enough to say, you know what, this isn't working, 217 00:11:53.159 --> 00:11:55.200 and I'm going to reach out to help. We we 218 00:11:55.360 --> 00:11:58.039 hire tax people to help us with our taxes. We 219 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:00.399 go to the dentist for our teeth. We're not supposed 220 00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.960 to know it all, and so hiring a coach or 221 00:12:04.639 --> 00:12:08.320 going to your doctor to say something's not right, but 222 00:12:08.440 --> 00:12:12.240 I'm not sure where to start, and recognizing when you 223 00:12:12.440 --> 00:12:14.919 are immune to making a change, say you know, I've 224 00:12:14.919 --> 00:12:17.120 been working. I was working with a gentleman this morning 225 00:12:17.159 --> 00:12:20.320 who really wants to lose weight, and he knows that 226 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:23.120 he should go to the gym. He can't get there. 227 00:12:23.799 --> 00:12:28.399 So that immunity to make that change, recognizing like it's 228 00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:31.399 not for lack of willpower, it's not for lack of desire, 229 00:12:31.679 --> 00:12:34.120 there's something else getting in the way. And that's where 230 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:36.080 you and I've talked a little bit about this. These 231 00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:40.639 they are these subconscious hidden commitments that we have and 232 00:12:40.679 --> 00:12:44.240 these big assumptions that we make, and so recognizing I'm trying, 233 00:12:44.279 --> 00:12:46.919 I have this goal, I have been trying to achieve 234 00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:49.399 this goal for months and months and months and I can't. 235 00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:53.200 So having that self awareness to say, whatever I'm trying 236 00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:56.279 isn't working, and maybe I should hire a professional or 237 00:12:56.320 --> 00:12:59.879 talk to my doctor, talk to someone about why I'm 238 00:13:00.039 --> 00:13:01.480 immune to making this change. 239 00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:04.720 Mm hmm yeah. I like that. I mean, this is 240 00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:08.360 as you folks are listening, because I know many people 241 00:13:08.840 --> 00:13:10.279 maybe they haven't heard of this or thought of this 242 00:13:10.399

--> 00:13:13.080 concept of immunity to change. But I like how you 243 00:13:13.080 --> 00:13:17.000 brought up there are hidden commitments what and then and 244 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:19.080 then you also said big assumption. So maybe break that 245 00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:21.639 down a little bit more for us relan about what 246 00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:25.559 is what are those hidden commitments that people are they're 247 00:13:25.559 --> 00:13:27.919 committed to. They're like I'm committed to, but they might 248 00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:29.799 not even realize how committed they are to it. 249 00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:33.559 Yes, yeah, So for we'll take that example of a 250 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:35.679 gentleman trying to get to the gym to lose weight. 251 00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:41.039 Hidden commitments could be I am committed to being a 252 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:45.279 professional at work. I'm committed to being viewed as reliable. 253 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:48.840 I'm committed to being a good father. I'm committed to 254 00:13:48.879 --> 00:13:51.480 being a good husband. They're almost like our values, right, 255 00:13:51.639 --> 00:13:55.120 like these are things that make us feel worth worth 256 00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:55.960 it as a human. 257 00:13:56.480 --> 00:13:57.200 Yes, And so. 258 00:13:58.759 --> 00:14:01.480 We call them hidden because they you're not even really 259 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:04.320 aware that it's getting in the way. It's in direct 260 00:14:04.840 --> 00:14:08.080 conflict of your goal. If you want to be a 261 00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:13.000 professional and be at work and be reliable and accountable 262 00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:16.159 from nine to five, it's going to be in conflict. 263 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:18.120 If you want to get to the gym during the day, 264 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:20.480 you're gonna have to find time in the morning or 265 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:24.279 in the evening. So those two things get in direct conflict, 266 00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:26.720 and there's the tension like foot on the gas, foot 267 00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:30.639 on the brick. And then the big assumption comes out 268 00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:33.399 of that, and it could be something like, I assume 269 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:36.000 if I'm not at my job from nine to five, 270 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:40.639 I will be viewed as unprofessional. Or I assume that 271 00:14:40.799 --> 00:14:44.000 I need to be available whenever my boss needs me 272 00:14:44.559 --> 00:14:47.159 twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Or 273 00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:51.639 I assume that if I take care of myself, I 274 00:14:51.720 --> 00:14:55.159 will be viewed as selfish. Yes, yea, So it's big 275 00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:58.559 assumptions like that, And so then what we do once 276 00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:01.080 you kind of get those big assumptions out out in 277 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:02.960 the light of day, you can say, is that true 278 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.200 all the time? And then we run tests, And a 279 00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:08.320 test might be like talking to your boss, like, if 280 00:15:08.360 --> 00:15:11.840 I'm putting in however many hours and I'm getting the 281 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:15.200 job done, is it possible that on my lunch break 282 00:15:15.240 --> 00:15:16.919 I could go to the gym? Or is it possible 283 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:19.559 I could come in at eight thirty so that I 284 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:21.440 can get to the gym, so that I can be 285 00:15:21.679 --> 00:15:24.879 more professional, I can be more focused, I can be 286 00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:28.519 more productive. You know, studies show that sitting at your 287 00:15:28.519 --> 00:15:33.120 desk for eight hours straight, your productivity actually falls. But 288 00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:35.480 if you can get up every hour and just clear 289 00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:37.519 your brain and walk around and get the lymphatic and 290 00:15:37.559 --> 00:15:40.639 the blood flowing, then you sit back down and you're 291 00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:44.320 actually sharper and more productive. So you know, there's a 292 00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:46.600 way to start testing some of those big assumptions and 293 00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:49.799 then hooking holes in them, and then they don't hold 294 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:52.879 their power anymore, and you realize, like, I can take 295 00:15:52.919 --> 00:15:55.799 care of myself and not be seen as selfish. 296 00:15:56.559 --> 00:15:58.759 And that's where I think somebody like yougalen that comes 297 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.399 in and world work with. If you guys are listening 298 00:16:01.480 --> 00:16:04.159 to Jayleen, I think somebody that comes in and like 299 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:08.200 picks away, gets at those hidden commitments, gets those assumptions 300 00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:10.600 you may not even realize that they're they're there, like 301 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:13.039 you said, Jayleen, and you're so adept at this, and 302 00:16:13.039 --> 00:16:15.840 that's why I love having you on the podcast and another guests. 303 00:16:15.840 --> 00:16:18.440 It's like, oh, I didn't know, and you you know 304 00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:20.360 how to ask these questions if you you know, breaking 305 00:16:20.480 --> 00:16:22.759 down much more quickly than they would on their own. 306 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:25.919 Because I agree, and I've done this being coached myself, Jayleen, 307 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:28.320 and different there this goal setting in general, like you said, 308 00:16:28.879 --> 00:16:30.919 somebody's gonna say, okay, yeah, you want that goal. But 309 00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:33.919 have you thought about the other obstacles along the way 310 00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:37.200 and your point, right, what are those obstacles that are 311 00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:41.159 likely to encounter at some point? Right? Nothing ever goes 312

00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:43.799 exactly to plan and to your other point of the assumptions. 313 00:16:43.799 --> 00:16:46.600 There's just I like to say what you said, there's 314 00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:49.080 some kind of story or narrative going on there, and 315 00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:52.360 that narrative going to get me there or not? Right? 316 00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:57.840 Yes? Yes, yeah? Is that narrative productive or counterproductive and 317 00:16:57.960 --> 00:17:01.159 for a while. Sometimes those narratives keep up safe, yes, 318 00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:04.920 or allow us to excel in our careers, to be 319 00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:09.680 you know, the hyperachiever. And we also get to say 320 00:17:10.039 --> 00:17:12.640 is it still serving me? Yes, it served me for 321 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:14.799 a period of time. Is it still serving me? Can 322 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:16.640 I change it? How do I want to change it? 323 00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:19.960 They're just beliefs. Beliefs can be changed. That's you know, 324 00:17:20.079 --> 00:17:22.039 the beautiful thing about neuroplasticity. 325 00:17:22.279 --> 00:17:25.400 Yeah, I love that you brought that up. Uh, there's 326 00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:28.000 a there's a whole theories that I went through last 327 00:17:28.039 --> 00:17:30.359 year called positive intelligence and this idea of how to 328 00:17:31.119 --> 00:17:35.920 familiar with definitely, Yeah, exactly so. But there's I think 329 00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:38.319 maybe you speak to this, Genn a little bit, because 330 00:17:38.680 --> 00:17:40.680 what I was talking to a group earlier about this 331 00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:44.519 as well, roles in our lives and situations and do 332 00:17:44.640 --> 00:17:47.839 those change? And I think that, like you said, there's 333 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:49.920 a safety there that people want to hold on to, 334 00:17:50.680 --> 00:17:52.960 even if it's not healthy or good for us. But 335 00:17:53.039 --> 00:17:55.759 it's known, and so can you talk a little bit 336 00:17:55.799 --> 00:17:58.480 about that, you know, And this kind of goes to 337 00:17:58.519 --> 00:18:00.839 identity if you will, But like year's how I wore, 338 00:18:01.160 --> 00:18:03.799 this is how I was, and they know me this way, 339 00:18:04.119 --> 00:18:06.640 and I'm shedding that skin, I'm letting that go, and 340 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:10.119 I'm stepping into something new, indifferent, and I might not 341 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.000 get it right, you know, And so there's a lot 342 00:18:12.039 --> 00:18:15.839 of fear and interpidation there. And can you speak a 343 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:18.119 little bit about where you've seen success of people, you know, 344 00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:19.960 moving from what I call the gap to the gain, 345 00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:23.039 if you will, and how you've been able to get 346 00:18:23.079 --> 00:18:25.480 people to bridge that gap of like leaving behind what 347 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:28.640 was any they believe you Even though I've heard you, 348 00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:31.400 I recognized that ahead and commitments. I read this, but 349 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:35.599 I'm still scared. There's still some fear in making that change. 350 00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:38.079 Yeah, And the and the process of the immunity to 351 00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:40.960 change process we call those tests. We start testing that 352 00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:43.039 big assumption and we do it with something that's safe 353 00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:48.200 and comfortable and easy, you know, for the gentleman. Again, 354 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.839 the example, like I said, it might be going to 355 00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:54.400 the Boston speaking about you know, what's the company culture 356 00:18:54.519 --> 00:18:57.039 is there? Especially if there's a gym in the company, 357 00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:00.279 like then you kind of know that they encourage health 358 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:04.319 and wellness. That culture is there, so or is it? 359 00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:08.279 You know, I'm I'm gonna you know, move my schedule 360 00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:10.880 so that I'm going to work eight thirty to six 361 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:12.799 tonight or something, and I'm going to go to the 362 00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:14.400 gym in the morning, and I'm going to see how 363 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:18.039 my productivity is that day. So we start testing it 364 00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:21.400 because you are absolutely right, our subconscious wants to keep 365 00:19:21.519 --> 00:19:24.759 us safe. That's the whole point of our nervous system. 366 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:28.240 And when we start to change things, the bells and 367 00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:31.519 whistles go off, like, oh my gosh, change change chain fear, fear, fear, 368 00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:36.000 because everything just wants us to stay safe. And comfort 369 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.519 is in what we know. There's not comfort in what 370 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:40.920 we don't know. And so it takes a little bit 371 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:44.160 of courage. And that's where you know, like you've seen 372 00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:48.680 the benefit of a coach of motivating, encouraging, supporting, and 373 00:19:48.720 --> 00:19:53.680 then holding accountable. Right, So it's baby steps. I don't 374 00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:57.240 like to do massive overhauls because then it's like a 375 00:19:57.279 --> 00:20:00.319 shock to the system and it's going to you know, abort. 376 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:02.559 Yeah, no, it's to that point, you know, as you 377 00:20:02.599 --> 00:20:04.359 said that daily. What made me come to mind is 378 00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:07.160 I've seen people like people that are hoarders. They've got 379 00:20:07.240 --> 00:20:08.960 just a ton of stuff in their house. It's just 380 00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:11.119 packed and they go in and they clean it out, 381

00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:13.519 they fix it all like one intense thing. But what 382 00:20:13.559 --> 00:20:17.200 happens is six months, a year later, it's backed. 383 00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:19.039 What it was. We put a band aid on the problem. 384 00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:23.559 We haven't solved the initial, the underlying problem that got 385 00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:24.920 us there in the first place. 386 00:20:25.359 --> 00:20:27.839 That's what we have to address, right, and that takes 387 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:31.319 time to unpack to get through. Like you said, there's resistance, 388 00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:34.119 you know, and you've got other things out there too, 389 00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:36.119 So I know if you're working with an organization. I 390 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:37.480 liked how you said, if they're out of a gym, 391 00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:40.000 they're wellness. But we're living in a culture now where 392 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:41.880 it says, well we want everybody back in the office 393 00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:44.839 nine to five, right, I mean there's a lot of 394 00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:47.960 but here there's like, well, I don't trust my people 395 00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:51.960 or you know, underlying right assumptions that hey they're not 396 00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.359 going to get their job done, and and so that 397 00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:58.440 that is not being healthy as an organization. Now, someplace 398 00:20:58.480 --> 00:21:00.359 you need certain people. But I'm trying to say, like, 399 00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:01.920 like you said, why don't we I like how you 400 00:21:01.960 --> 00:21:04.960 said this testing some things and we're not saying we're 401 00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:06.599 gonna stick with it forever, but we're gonna test it 402 00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:08.440 and see if it doesn't work or not right. I 403 00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:11.200 really like that concept jeeling that you're bringing in there. 404 00:21:11.960 --> 00:21:14.440 Yeah, with any change. Whenever I'm working with someone and 405 00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:17.599 even myself included, I try to come at it from 406 00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:20.599 a detective. We're gonna do some research here, We're gonna 407 00:21:20.599 --> 00:21:22.599 make some tests, we're going to see how we feel, 408 00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:25.720 and we're also gonna know it's gonna be trial and error. 409 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:28.799 There's you're not gonna nail it. Like you know, if 410 00:21:28.839 --> 00:21:30.799 I want to work out three times a week and 411 00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:33.480 I go do it next week, Okay, that's great, But 412 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:34.640 is it sustainable? 413 00:21:34.960 --> 00:21:35.200 You know? 414 00:21:35.480 --> 00:21:40.119 Can I keep this going? So having some you know, 415 00:21:40.759 --> 00:21:45.720 just the grace in the process to say that we 416 00:21:45.799 --> 00:21:47.839 might nail it this week, we might not this week. 417 00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:49.000 You know. 418 00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:50.720 I kind of like to go by like the eighty 419 00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:53.200 twenty rule. If I'm nailing it eighty percent of the time, 420 00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:55.880 I feel like that's a win. Yeah. I'm not going 421 00:21:55.920 --> 00:22:02.680 for perfection and progress. And I also like thinking about 422 00:22:02.920 --> 00:22:07.440 fail as an acronym. It's a first attempt in learning. 423 00:22:08.079 --> 00:22:12.720 There's really you know, failures are any great success story, 424 00:22:12.759 --> 00:22:15.119 they'll tell you there was a failure along the way 425 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:18.799 and it either made them pivot or learn or adapt 426 00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:21.960 or change. So I've really tried to in my life 427 00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:26.240 embrace like it's not really a failure, it's just a learning. Yes, 428 00:22:26.279 --> 00:22:27.359 we're going to move on from it. 429 00:22:27.640 --> 00:22:31.160 Yeah, you just want to fail fast, right, yeah, quick, 430 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:33.559 and then you can move in fact, as you said 431 00:22:33.559 --> 00:22:36.680 that Dealian. The other thing, I remember something around Steve 432 00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:39.079 Jobs you used to run Apple. He would say to 433 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:42.799 his team, I expect failure because if you're not failing, 434 00:22:42.839 --> 00:22:45.000 you're not innovating, you're not trying new things. If there's 435 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.000 no failure, we're doing something wrong. 436 00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:50.160 We're not pushing, we're not trying hard enough. Yeah. Like 437 00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:52.960 it's like in sports, right, Like you're gonna fall down 438 00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.000 if you're not falling. I'm a skier. If you're not 439 00:22:55.079 --> 00:22:58.440 falling down when you're skiing, you're probably on the green slopes. 440 00:22:58.440 --> 00:22:59.160 It's too easy. 441 00:22:59.400 --> 00:23:03.359 Yeah, yeah, right. And so I think creating a space where, 442 00:23:03.400 --> 00:23:05.480 like you said, coming in and you can create a 443 00:23:05.480 --> 00:23:08.680 space where we're not we're not taking undue risks, we're 444 00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:12.640 taking small steps so that way we can get back up, 445 00:23:13.480 --> 00:23:16.039 you know. And I think that's where a coach also 446 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:18.519 helps you. It's like, okay, don't because what happens. I 447 00:23:18.519 --> 00:23:20.480 think sometimes people go big and they try, like we 448 00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:22.359 said earlier, it doesn't work, and they're like, well that 449 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:25.680 didn't work, and I'm not doing that again. Yeah, yeah, 450 00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:29.079 you need to goes higher now, you know. 451 00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:31.839 Right, And I think that gap that you talked about 452 00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:36.319

with like for the hoarder example, is real. There's a 453 00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:40.640 worthiness gap or there's it's it's why lottery winners within 454 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:42.880 a couple of years, the studies show they're broke again 455 00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:47.359 because there's they're uncut, they're subconscious hasn't adjusted to what 456 00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:49.880 the new normal is. It was so used to living 457 00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:53.000 this way and then there's a new way and it's 458 00:23:53.039 --> 00:23:54.799 fearful and it's like, well, no, we're not going to 459 00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:56.759 do that. So that's why I'm a big fan of 460 00:23:57.079 --> 00:24:00.000 small I always say small steps still climb mountains. Yeah. 461 00:24:02.279 --> 00:24:05.039 Yeah, And you know, I'm in one hundred percent agreement 462 00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:07.599 with you, Julian. What I think is getting people to, 463 00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:12.640 like you said, take that step, and sometimes it's just 464 00:24:12.680 --> 00:24:16.319 like get the step, get the momentum going, yes, right, 465 00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:19.400 and then okay, and you know, like I said, you 466 00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:22.000 will trip up, you will make mistakes. But we're having 467 00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:24.559 a coach like yourself, somebody coming alongside you to kind 468 00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:27.640 of keep that keep it going, you know, and don't 469 00:24:27.799 --> 00:24:30.119 just just follow the wayside. I think that having that 470 00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:34.799 somebody that's there, you know, encouraging, holding space for you 471 00:24:35.319 --> 00:24:38.039 to be be accountable. Really it's to yourself at the 472 00:24:38.119 --> 00:24:40.319 end of the day. But I want people that are 473 00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.680 listening in is whether you're the business owner of the leaders, 474 00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:45.440 like if you don't have somebody like that in your 475 00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:48.240 world that you can be accountable to. And we're talking 476 00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.400 about health and well being here, you're you're you're not 477 00:24:51.480 --> 00:24:55.559 a loss. I remember at forty Delian going to the gym. 478 00:24:55.559 --> 00:24:58.160 I'd done the gym really ever, and I said, I 479 00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.480 don't want to go hurt myself, you know, So I 480 00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:02.839 hired a coach and I said, help me know how 481 00:25:02.839 --> 00:25:05.400 to do these things until I can do them consistently. 482 00:25:05.480 --> 00:25:07.359 And then when I got that doing and I want 483 00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:09.200 to go to the next level, I'll go somebody else. 484 00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:11.440 We always need to be looking at somebody when I 485 00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:13.480 say ahead of us that has been doing this work, 486 00:25:13.480 --> 00:25:15.119 and you've been doing this work for a long time, 487 00:25:15.720 --> 00:25:18.400 and so you can go through much quicker with somebody 488 00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:21.440 like yourself coming alongside, right and just getting some of 489 00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:24.359 the things that are hanging us up out of the 490 00:25:24.359 --> 00:25:25.720 way more quickly. 491 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:29.440 And see the pitfalls that others have hit that yeah, 492 00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:32.599 you don't need to hit. Like let's see, let's you know, 493 00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:34.440 what are some things that are going to get in 494 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:38.559 the way, so get you to success much quicker. 495 00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:41.599 Right, right, So then now you know what I hear 496 00:25:41.640 --> 00:25:43.359 you saying is is we go through this process of 497 00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:47.200 paying attention, we're listening, we then can make that move 498 00:25:47.319 --> 00:25:50.440 of not getting hung up an immunity. It's more of like, okay, 499 00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:53.119 working with you deally, you know, getting clear on hey, 500 00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:56.000 my hidden commitments, my my, these bigger assumptions I can 501 00:25:56.039 --> 00:25:58.079 now address. I'm like, hey, no, wait, those aren't serving 502 00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:01.680 me any longer. And we start leading ourselves in a 503 00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:06.799 better healthier way, you know, and like you said, becoming 504 00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:10.599 I like how you said the big the lottery example, 505 00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:13.480 like now, actually we feel it's going to flip it 506 00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:15.960 if we understand we're worthy of this and we're a 507 00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.000 steward of this, like oh, I'm taking care of my 508 00:26:18.039 --> 00:26:20.559 body not for the benefit of me, but also from 509 00:26:20.599 --> 00:26:23.359 my spouse or my children, or my co workers. And 510 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:25.559 so now you're shifting, you're changing your story and your 511 00:26:25.599 --> 00:26:30.039 identity in a positive way. And maybe if you can 512 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:32.480 just share an example or two of folks that you've 513 00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:35.960 worked with where you've gotten them finally on the other side, Jayleen, 514 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:38.079 and there Now it's a kind of the wreck. It's new. 515 00:26:38.119 --> 00:26:40.759 It's they're no longer that person they were when they 516 00:26:40.799 --> 00:26:43.960 came to meet with you, and talk a little bit 517 00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:45.640 more about what you what have you seen in them 518 00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:47.680 as far as how they're showing up differently. 519 00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:53.319 Yeah, there is. You know, worthiness is such a it 520 00:26:53.359 --> 00:26:55.519 comes back to a lot of that am I worthy 521 00:26:55.720 --> 00:26:58.799 to take care of myself? Am I worthy to pursue 522 00:26:58.839 -->

00:27:03.880 my dreams? And so, you know, as you were saying 523 00:27:03.880 --> 00:27:06.000 all that, what came to mind is it's I know 524 00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:10.480 it's cliche, but the oxygen mask is so real. And 525 00:27:10.519 --> 00:27:13.400 I use this a lot with my clients and I 526 00:27:13.640 --> 00:27:15.720 you know, if they have a small child or grandchild, 527 00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:19.440 I'll say, you're on a plane, you're in an emergency situation. 528 00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:22.720 The masks dropped down. Your instinct is to take care 529 00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:25.480 of this child or this grandchild that's with you, right, 530 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:28.920 That's that's a parental instinct. Or a loved one who's 531 00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:32.119 with you now? Is that four year old able to 532 00:27:32.160 --> 00:27:36.920 put the oxygen mask back on you? They can't, then 533 00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:39.519 what happens to you? Well, then I become unconscious and 534 00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:41.759 then then I die. And who's going to take care 535 00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:44.519 of the four year old then? And so it's it's 536 00:27:44.599 --> 00:27:47.640 a real importance for leaders to remember they have to 537 00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:49.839 take care of themselves in order to take care of 538 00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:53.480 their teams. They're not, you know, filling their own cup. 539 00:27:54.240 --> 00:27:56.799 They're going to be more they're going to be more irritable, 540 00:27:56.839 --> 00:27:59.039 they're not going to manage as well. They're you know, 541 00:27:59.079 --> 00:28:02.880 the relationship thing that we talked about, and so looking 542 00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:05.920 at it, whether it's sleep, going to the gym, eating healthy, 543 00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:09.279 taking care of yourself puts you in a position to 544 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:13.319 then take care of others and to then be And 545 00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:15.640 so what I've seen with my clients is once they 546 00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:18.440 kind of get over that hump, they get away from 547 00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:21.559 the guilt or the shame or or the worthiness, and 548 00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:24.119 they start taking care of themselves and they start feeling better, 549 00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:25.839 they want everyone else around them. 550 00:28:25.720 --> 00:28:25.960 To go. 551 00:28:27.640 --> 00:28:30.039 And it just breeds and then they're like, you got 552 00:28:30.039 --> 00:28:32.359 to take time out for you, and I want you to, 553 00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:35.359 and I value you too, and I know you're going 554 00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:37.960 to bring back more to the team when you do. 555 00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:42.400 And then that employee says, I feel valued, I feel important. 556 00:28:42.480 --> 00:28:44.960 I feel like my health matters. I'm not just a 557 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.119 cog in this wheel. I am a contributor and I'm 558 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:50.559 a part of this team, and my health matters too 559 00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:52.839 to the whole team. Right, like a soccer team, if 560 00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:56.559 the goalie is sick, we're in trouble. So the whole 561 00:28:56.599 --> 00:28:59.920 team matters, so it becomes infectious. So that's you know, 562 00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:02.680 start at the top, take care of yourself, and then 563 00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:04.319 you can take care of your team, and then your 564 00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:06.319 team wants to take care of themselves, and then you 565 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:08.240 become a really strong organization. 566 00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:10.720 Yeah. I call that a self managing team, Jayleen. When 567 00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:12.880 we understand that and we like look after each other, 568 00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:15.440 and that's where steward your business is all. But like 569 00:29:15.480 --> 00:29:18.240 I said, I will I love working with business owners 570 00:29:18.279 --> 00:29:20.680 and team leaders that have that mentality. Sometimes they're just like, 571 00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:21.880 I don't know how to develop I don't have the 572 00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:23.680 bandwidth or what the case maybe when I come in, 573 00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:26.319 but they recognize I want to be a good steward 574 00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:28.480 of what has been and trusted me because they're leading 575 00:29:28.519 --> 00:29:30.839 for me. And that was my own personal journey, Jaileen 576 00:29:30.880 --> 00:29:33.440 of I learned I better take better. I better be 577 00:29:33.960 --> 00:29:35.880 taking good care of myself so I can be there, 578 00:29:36.039 --> 00:29:38.440 like you said, the oxygen mask. But if I'm not 579 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:40.799 doing it, they're definitely not going to be following along 580 00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:45.559 because they will not be loyal and engaged as they 581 00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:48.119 would when they know somebody's truly looking after them and 582 00:29:48.119 --> 00:29:50.279 coming from from a servant's heart, of like coming from 583 00:29:50.279 --> 00:29:53.079 an abundance place like you're saying, Jayleen, like I got 584 00:29:53.079 --> 00:29:55.200 myself taking care of I want to help take care 585 00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:58.440 of you. And I think that is so powerful and 586 00:29:58.599 --> 00:30:01.160 it really does, like you said, effect the entire organization. 587 00:30:02.119 --> 00:30:05.400 Yeah, I think all of our audience can can relate 588 00:30:05.480 --> 00:30:08.359 to your interviewing for a new job and they're saying 589 00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:11.119 the corporate culture is like you know, X, Y and Z, 590 00:30:11.279 --> 00:30:13.200 and we have all these benefits and this and that. 591 00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:16.400 I'm always a fan of, Look to the leadership, what 592 00:30:16.519 --> 00:30:20.119 are they doing because if they're not walking

the talk, 593 00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:25.200 it's not really company culture. And guess what you're you're 594 00:30:25.279 --> 00:30:27.200 it's not going to be encouraged, you know, if your 595 00:30:27.279 --> 00:30:29.279 leaders aren't going to the gym and taking care of themselves. 596 00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:31.920 They're not going to want employees. You know, it's it's 597 00:30:31.960 --> 00:30:34.559 not going to be valued in the same way. And 598 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:38.079 then your employees are like, well, this doesn't match. You're 599 00:30:38.119 --> 00:30:40.759 saying one thing and doing another, And I don't want 600 00:30:40.759 --> 00:30:43.279 to be a part of that kind of culture. And 601 00:30:43.599 --> 00:30:46.359 I think that you when you can have that culture 602 00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:51.519 of value employees, health and wellness, they're going to stick around. 603 00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:53.960 You're going to have retention, yes, and they're going to 604 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:55.759 bring people on board. They're gonna you know, they're going 605 00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:57.640 to say, hey, this is a great company, come work 606 00:30:57.680 --> 00:30:58.880 for this company exactly. 607 00:30:58.920 --> 00:31:00.960 If you can do that and be organic, you definitely 608 00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:03.599 have a competitive advantage in the marketplace where people want 609 00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:08.039 to come. And Yeah, I think you know, you're a 610 00:31:08.079 --> 00:31:10.720 great leader in this example too of how you work 611 00:31:10.759 --> 00:31:14.440 with folks. You're not just you're you're coaching them, you're 612 00:31:14.440 --> 00:31:17.960 guiding them. You're not like fixing them per se. And 613 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:19.720 sometimes I think we're trying to like, you know, if 614 00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:21.440 you're a leader and you think almost going to fix them, 615 00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:24.440 that's the wrong approach. And I appreciate how you come 616 00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:27.119 in and say, like, we're not about fixing. We're about 617 00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:31.039 coaching and helping people. Uh, you know, create this space. 618 00:31:32.039 --> 00:31:34.559 Yeah, because what is that saying. Give a man of 619 00:31:34.640 --> 00:31:37.440 fish and he'll eat for day. Teach a man to 620 00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:39.440 fish and he'll fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. 621 00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:40.000 Yeah. 622 00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.640 Yeah, you can't just fix someone. You have to help. 623 00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:45.440 You have to empower them. Yes, give them the tools 624 00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:48.559 and enable them to work on themselves. And it's going 625 00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:51.039 to be more sustainable. If I tell you to go 626 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:53.839 do something and you don't want to do it, right, 627 00:31:53.960 --> 00:31:55.440 I got to figure out why you want to go 628 00:31:55.480 --> 00:31:58.640 do it, you know, And that's motivational interviewing is such 629 00:31:58.640 --> 00:32:00.279 a great coaching technique for that. 630 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:02.400 Yeah, I love that you brought that, brought that up, 631 00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:06.079 and then you know you're creating sustainable change. Like you 632 00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:10.240 said the fish analogy. And I think discipline is always 633 00:32:10.279 --> 00:32:12.160 a good thing, but but we want to do it 634 00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:15.119 in the case of alignment of like, okay, here's where 635 00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:17.200 all we're going. So then I wanted this my mouth 636 00:32:17.559 --> 00:32:20.039 because of the alignment, not just for the sake of discipline. 637 00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:23.240 And I think you brought up this as you're as 638 00:32:23.240 --> 00:32:25.640 you're listening, as you're as you guys are listening in here, 639 00:32:26.680 --> 00:32:29.000 you know, understand see how you're approaching it. How are 640 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:31.319 you are you? Are you guiding and coaching because everybody 641 00:32:31.319 --> 00:32:33.039 is a coach at some level. Maybe you don't realize it, 642 00:32:33.079 --> 00:32:35.720 but you are. If you're in some kind of leadership persition, 643 00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:37.640 are you drawing the best out of those people that 644 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:41.039 you have the opportunity to or are you just trying 645 00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:42.839 to like, oh, this is just the way. You just 646 00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:45.359 got to fall in line. And you're not going to 647 00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:47.480 get it, like you said earlier to it, You're not 648 00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:50.119 going to get that. It's going to be you're's gonna 649 00:32:50.119 --> 00:32:53.119 be resistance, there's gonna be immunitated to that, you know. 650 00:32:54.759 --> 00:33:00.000 So, and eventually resentment and exactly. 651 00:33:00.440 --> 00:33:03.119 Right, which we don't want. And so the whole part 652 00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:04.720 of this podcast, and I know we're getting the end 653 00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:06.920 of the podcast here, but it's been fantastic, Jailien. You're 654 00:33:06.920 --> 00:33:09.519 bringing up so many great things to think about, is 655 00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:12.319 that ultimately we want you as a business owner or 656 00:33:12.400 --> 00:33:15.599 a leader to be healthy, because if you're healthy and 657 00:33:15.640 --> 00:33:17.480 you're going to be able to like you said, it's infectious, 658 00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:20.559 is going to help the rest of your organization. And so, Juliane, 659 00:33:20.559 --> 00:33:22.480 I want to ask you this question as we're getting 660 00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:25.440 to the end of the podcast, like what is something that? 661 00:33:25.799 --> 00:33:27.960 What is one thing or if I miss something today 662 00:33:27.960 --> 00:33:31.279 when we

were going things that a leader and whether 663 00:33:31.319 --> 00:33:32.400 you think you're a leader or not, you're in a 664 00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:34.720 position of influence and watching over people. What can they 665 00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:37.880 start paying attention to today? What's that simple first step 666 00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:40.799 that they can take so they can get healthier? 667 00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:45.279 Yeah, two things come to mind. First, one is thinking 668 00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:49.279 of what really shifted for me. I had a mentor 669 00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:53.599 coach who said it's not really For some people, discipline works, 670 00:33:53.599 --> 00:33:56.400 that word works, but for me, discipline is like I 671 00:33:56.400 --> 00:33:58.640 think about the military, you've been disciplined. 672 00:33:59.160 --> 00:33:59.480 Yeah. 673 00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:02.839 And me, the word that I love is devotion, being 674 00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:07.000 devoted to yourself and your own health. And devotion has 675 00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:11.760 more of for me, has more of a spiritual just 676 00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:15.480 more of a joyful way of looking at myself and 677 00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.679 my health. So that was a big shift for me 678 00:34:17.719 --> 00:34:20.559 when I started to say I'm devoted to my health 679 00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:24.519 and there are there certain habits and behaviors I'm devoted to. 680 00:34:24.760 --> 00:34:27.760 And so one thing that someone could start with is, 681 00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:31.800 Ii'm on phone. You know how much does your phone? 682 00:34:32.119 --> 00:34:34.400 How much is your phone in your hand, and so 683 00:34:35.079 --> 00:34:39.159 you know, sleep was our overall theme. If you're scrolling 684 00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:41.599 your phone at night before you're going to bed, that's 685 00:34:41.800 --> 00:34:44.800 one thing you could do tonight is put it down, 686 00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:47.599 put a timer on your phone, put a reminder on 687 00:34:47.639 --> 00:34:50.800 your phone. A lot of the smartphones now can can 688 00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:53.280 send you a reminder you know it's time to wind down. 689 00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:56.559 When we get ready for sleep, we really do. It's 690 00:34:56.559 --> 00:34:58.800 like landing a plane. You can't just jump into bed 691 00:34:58.840 --> 00:35:01.639 and expect to be tired. So think about putting your 692 00:35:01.639 --> 00:35:04.000 phone down thirty minutes before you know you're going to 693 00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:06.960 be turning out the lights. Science has shown that blue 694 00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.559 light is very similar to the rays of the sun, 695 00:35:09.679 --> 00:35:12.360 So that's activating your brain. Because we run on a 696 00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:15.800 circadian rhythm, we're supposed to be awake during daylight. So 697 00:35:15.960 --> 00:35:18.000 if you can put that phone down, it starts to

698 00:35:18.119 --> 00:35:21.400 cue your brain. Nighttime is coming, sleep is going to 699 00:35:21.440 --> 00:35:24.719 be coming. It might make that transition into falling asleep 700 00:35:25.079 --> 00:35:27.800 a little easier and a little quicker. So that's my 701 00:35:27.800 --> 00:35:30.199 big tip is put that phone down thirty minutes before 702 00:35:30.280 --> 00:35:31.400 you want to turn out the light. 703 00:35:31.599 --> 00:35:33.039 Yeah, and you and you do. You did. This is 704 00:35:33.039 --> 00:35:34.599 a great job in your ted x tak again. I'm 705 00:35:34.599 --> 00:35:36.400 going to put a link to it where you walk 706 00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:39.039 through even more in that and I think it's great, 707 00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:41.719 so you guys can go check it out. It's on YouTube. 708 00:35:41.719 --> 00:35:45.840 Fantastic Jalian, this has been a really powerful conversation, and 709 00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:47.400 it really stands out to me that you know, the 710 00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:51.159 biggest constraints you know aren't often we think they're external, 711 00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:54.519 but really they're internal, and it's that energy, it's that awareness, 712 00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:57.119 is those patterns and if they're not going to fix themselves. 713 00:35:57.599 --> 00:36:00.079 And so if you're if you're like feeling stuck, we 714 00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:02.679 brought Jayleen on the podcast so that you now know 715 00:36:02.760 --> 00:36:04.440 one more person that could be on your court to 716 00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:06.880 help you along this journey. So that way, if you're 717 00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:09.840 not operating in full capacity or just pushing through exhaustion, 718 00:36:10.119 --> 00:36:12.800 there is a different way, and Jayleen is there to 719 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:15.599 help you along those ways. And so we're grateful for 720 00:36:15.639 --> 00:36:17.280 you coming on the podcast with us today. 721 00:36:17.320 --> 00:36:21.320 Jayleen, I grateful for the opportunity to talk to your 722 00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:22.800 audience about health and wellness. 723 00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:26.960 Absolutely well, if you guys found value in the conversation today, 724 00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:30.239 of course, we appreciate you liking and subscribing and following along. 725 00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:33.199 Go ahead and leave some comment or two for Jayleen. 726 00:36:33.280 --> 00:36:36.239 We'll make sure it gets to her. And you know, 727 00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:40.039 we want to empower you to continue to leave with clarity, sustainability, 728 00:36:40.119 --> 00:36:42.679 looking after your team. We want you to come back. 729 00:36:42.679 --> 00:36:45.440 We have to re share this with your friends and colleagues, 730 00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:47.320 and we just thank you for being here with us. 731 00:36:47.719 --> 00:36:51.119 We wish you well until next time. You well, everybody, 732 00:36:51.119 --> 00:36:52.159 thank you so much for listening.