TRANSCRIPT 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:01.600 --> 00:00:04.799
Before we start today, I want to say this right up front.
00:00:04.959 --> 00:00:11.039
If you've been feeling dry, tired, or disconnected, this episode is for you.
00:00:14.480 --> 00:00:27.519
Welcome to Breaking Free with Katina Lee, a Christian, faith-based podcast and a safe place to land as you heal, reconnect with God, and rediscover joy.
00:00:27.760 --> 00:00:35.679
Here we're gonna speak peace over fear, truth over shame, and Jesus over the places that still hurt.
00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:45.359
Whether you're carrying heartbreak, trauma, anxiety, loss, or wounds that still haven't fully healed, you're welcome here.
00:00:45.679 --> 00:00:53.200
So take a deep breath, settle in, and let's take the next step forward together.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:07.200
While I was in Charleston, South Carolina, I learned about something called the resurrection fern.
00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:12.319
And honestly, the moment I heard about them, I knew that there was a deeper lesson in it.
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:16.719
Because resurrection ferns are fascinating little plants.
00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:23.040
During dry seasons, they curl up and they turn brown, they become brittle.
00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:28.319
And if you're looking at them, they really look like they're completely dead.
00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:30.879
And they're everywhere in Charleston.
00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:36.079
It looks like all of these trees have just all of this dead stuff on them.
00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:42.799
You could walk right up and assume that there is literally nothing left alive in there anymore.
00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:46.640
But the interesting thing is, they aren't dead.
00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:48.159
They're just dormant.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:54.879
And the moment that the rain comes, the moment moisture returns, they begin unfolding again.
00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:59.760
Green returns, life returns, softness returns.
00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:06.319
Something that looked dead was still alive underneath the surface the whole time.
00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:13.360
And the moment the rain returns, the moment the moisture returns, they begin unfolding.
00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:17.919
Green returns, life returns, softness returns.
00:02:18.159 --> 00:02:25.919
Instantly, something that looked completely dead was still alive underneath the surface the entire time.
00:02:26.240 --> 00:02:34.159
And honestly, I think there's so many women walking around feeling exactly like resurrection ferns.
00:02:34.479 --> 00:02:48.719
Exhausted, dry, disconnected, emotionally curled inward, wondering where the life in them went, staring at themselves in the mirror, feeling like they're looking at a complete stranger.
00:02:49.199 --> 00:02:52.879
And maybe some of you listening feel that way right now.
00:02:53.120 --> 00:03:06.879
Maybe not dramatic, maybe not falling apart publicly, just tired, spiritually dry, emotionally numb, disconnected from joy and from yourself and disconnected from hope.
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:13.199
And maybe part of what hurts the most is you don't even fully recognize yourself anymore.
00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:33.039
I think survival mode does that sometimes, especially after years of heartbreak and trauma and caring for everyone else and dealing with disappointment and emotional exhaustion, and then there's all of the people pleasing and the overfunctioning, trying to hold everything together.
00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:45.280
Eventually, something in you starts conserving energy, protecting itself, shutting down emotionally, pulling inward, and from the outside, it can look like someone is functioning normally.
00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:55.199
They go to work, they pay the bills, they take care of responsibilities, they smile in conversation, they keep showing up, but internally they feel dry.
00:03:55.360 --> 00:04:01.520
And honestly, I think one of the loneliest feelings in the world is wondering where you went.
00:04:01.759 --> 00:04:04.000
Wondering what happened to me.
00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:06.159
Why don't I feel alive anymore?
00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:08.560
Why does everything feel so heavy?
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:11.520
Why can't I feel joy the way I used to?
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:16.079
And if you ever felt that way, I want you to hear this gently today.
00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:19.199
Dry does not mean dead.
00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:20.639
That matters.
00:04:20.879 --> 00:04:24.959
Because many people assume the absence of visible life means life is gone.
00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:28.160
But sometimes life is simply waiting for nourishment.
00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:32.160
And honestly, I think this is especially true spiritually.
00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:36.879
There are seasons where people stop feeling emotionally connected to God.
00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:44.879
Stop feeling emotionally connected to themselves, stop feeling emotionally connected to purpose, and immediately shame enters.
00:04:45.199 --> 00:04:46.160
What's wrong with me?
00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:47.680
Why don't I feel God?
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:49.279
Why do I feel numb?
00:04:49.519 --> 00:04:51.920
Why can't I pull myself back together?
00:04:52.160 --> 00:04:54.879
But maybe what's happening isn't death.
00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:56.800
Maybe it's exhaustion.
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:00.879
Maybe your soul has been surviving drought conditions for a long time.
00:05:01.199 --> 00:05:03.120
And drought changes things.
00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:12.560
Even emotionally healthy people become tired when they go too long without rest, without safety, without nourishment, without emotional honesty, without connection.
00:05:12.720 --> 00:05:20.319
And honestly, many women have spent years pouring themselves out while receiving very little replenishment in return.
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:30.480
So eventually they begin curling inward emotionally, not because they're weak, not because they're failures, but because survival
Load full transcript
sometimes requires conservation.
00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:35.920
And I think one of the most beautiful things about resurrection ferns is this.
00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:38.639
They do not create their own rain.
00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:42.160
They simply respond when nourishment arrives.
00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:45.360
And honestly, that hit me deeply.
00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:57.680
Because I think many women are trying to force themselves back to life through pressure, trying harder, performing harder, pushing harder, criticizing themselves harder.
00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:00.959
But healing rarely happens through self-punishment.
00:06:01.120 --> 00:06:04.639
Life usually returns through nourishment.
00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:13.600
Gentleness, safety, rest, truth, connection, grace, presence, all of the beautiful things.
00:06:13.839 --> 00:06:17.759
And maybe part of healing is learning how to receive nourishment again.
00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:28.800
Because some of you may feel like too much time has passed, too many years wasted, too much pain endured, too much disappointment experienced.
00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:30.560
It's too late.
00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:36.639
And maybe part of you wonders, what if I never feel fully alive again?
00:06:36.879 --> 00:06:39.839
But healing is full of quiet resurrections.
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:47.199
Sometimes joy returns slowly, sometimes peace returns slowly, sometimes hope unfolds gradually.
00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:49.600
But that doesn't make it less real.
00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:54.800
And honestly, I think many people underestimate how much environment affects healing.
00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:59.120
Resurrection ferns do not revive in drought conditions.
00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:01.439
They revive when rain comes.
00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:02.879
And people are similar.
00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:05.120
Healing environments matter.
00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:13.680
Safe people matter, rest matters, honesty matters, support matters, the presence of God matters.
00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:18.480
Because some people are trying to bloom in environments that continuously wound them.
00:07:18.639 --> 00:07:29.360
And maybe one of the hardest healing truths is realizing you cannot constantly live in emotional drought and expect your nervous system to flourish.
00:07:29.920 --> 00:07:32.480
That's not weakness, that's reality.
00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:35.439
And I think this connects to something else too.
00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:42.560
Sometimes when people have lived in survival mode for a long time, they stop expecting life to return it all.
00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:44.560
They become resigned.
00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:48.800
This is just my personality.
00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:51.920
This is just what life feels like for me.
00:07:52.319 --> 00:07:56.079
But maybe some things only looked dead.
00:07:56.399 --> 00:07:58.399
Maybe joy is still in there.
00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:02.879
Maybe softness is still in there and creativity and hope.
00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:10.639
Maybe the woman you used to be, or maybe even the woman you're becoming, is still alive underneath all the dryness.
00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:14.639
And honestly, I think God specializes in resurrection.
00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:19.040
There's a few stories I could tell you about that one if you don't know them already.
00:08:19.279 --> 00:08:24.079
But it's not just physical resurrection, emotional resurrection too.
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:32.000
Hope resurrected, identity resurrected, peace resurrected, joy resurrected, purpose resurrected.
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:43.360
Not instantly always, and definitely not always dramatic, but gently, quietly, patiently, and maybe that's where some of you are right now.
00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:45.200
You're not dead.
00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:46.799
You're just dry.
00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:51.600
You're not broken beyond repair, just emotionally exhausted.
00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:56.559
You're certainly not abandoned by God, just needing nourishment again.
00:08:56.799 --> 00:09:04.879
And honestly, I think there's something really beautiful about knowing resurrection ferns were designed this way.
00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:09.519
They were created with the ability to survive difficult seasons.
00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:11.919
And I believe that you were too.
00:09:12.159 --> 00:09:19.919
Maybe survival did not destroy you, maybe it simply curled parts of you inward temporarily while you endured what you had to endure.
00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:24.080
But survival is not meant to be your permanent home.
00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:27.120
At some point, the rain comes.
00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:40.159
At some point, safety comes, healing comes, rest comes, truth comes, gentleness comes, and slowly life begins unfolding again.
00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:47.039
Not because you forced yourself into healing, but because something inside you is still alive all along.
00:09:47.200 --> 00:09:51.279
And maybe that's what I hope you hear today more than anything else.
00:09:51.679 --> 00:09:55.200
Some things only looked dead.
00:09:55.759 --> 00:09:57.120
I'd like to pray with you.
00:09:57.360 --> 00:10:09.360
Heavenly Father, for every listener who feels emotionally dry, exhausted, or disconnected, bring nourishment to the places that have been surviving too long without rest.
00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:15.759
Remind them that dry does not mean dead, and help them stop mistaking exhaustion for failure.
00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:29.039
Bring healing environments, safe people, gentle truth, and your presence into the places that have felt empty for a long time and where people have begun believing they are too far gone.
00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:31.120
Whisper hope there again.
00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:34.480
Help life unfold slowly in them again.
00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:43.440
Joy, peace, purpose, and remind us that you are still the God of resurrection.
00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:45.200
In Jesus' name.
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:46.799
Amen.
00:10:48.399 --> 00:10:50.480
Thank you for spending this time with me today.
00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:53.919
If something here stayed with you, let it settle.
00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:55.600
There's no rush.
00:10:55.840 --> 00:11:03.120
And if this podcast has encouraged you, I'd be grateful if you'd just take a minute and follow the show and leave a review.
00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:09.360
Reviews help more people find these conversations, and every one of them means more than you know.
00:11:09.919 --> 00:11:16.399
As a thank you, I've created a free 28-day port swing devotional filled with scripture and reflections.
00:11:16.639 --> 00:11:22.080
Simply send a screenshot of your review through katina lee.com and I'll send a copy your way.
00:11:22.399 --> 00:11:27.600
Breaking free with Katina Lee is proudly sponsored by KatinaLee.com.
00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:33.600
A safe place to land while you heal, reconnect with God, and rediscover joy.
00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:41.519
There you'll find my blog, books, coaching information, and additional resources created to support you on your journey.
00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:48.799
Until next time, may you walk gently with yourself and know that you are not alone.
00:11:49.039 --> 00:11:56.960
And may you continue to speak Jesus over your mind, your body, your healing, and every part of your story.
00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:00.000
You don't have to have it all figured out.
00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:03.279
You just have to start somewhere safe.
00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:07.200
This is Breaking Free with Katina Lee.