Full Transcript for E7 Exposing Secrets and Risking Credibility

involved in the organization, I thought, okay, this is where I'm going to probably spend my career that I fully transitioned ⁓ into this organizational development type of role of training, career coaching, professional, just helping people to grow. last week of January, we are told that we're going to be furloughed. Now, as somebody who has a background in the military, I looked around and said, this is not a furlough. Most likely we're going to be laid off. And so I could see people upset crying because this is people careers. They've spent 15, 20, 30 years. I mean, some people I know that work for the organization spent have been there 40 plus years. Right. And so what do you do when you come to work one day with a place that you have put your blood, sweat and tears in and you're expecting this to be your life and it's not just furlough, but You have to go quietly, right? And people don't find out until a couple months later that, this was the first group that was actually laid off. So I think that day, because I kind of had already accepted, like this was about to happen, right? So I had mentally prepared myself in some way. Speaker 2: When did find out it was going to happen? Speaker 1: that morning when I walked in, but there were signs. ⁓ you know what I mean? reading. About to happen. Right. So I kind of had mentally, I'm not saying all the way, but prepare myself to to the possible. This was going to happen. Right. But it just so happened when I walked in that morning, that Monday morning, I was like, OK, you guys are being furloughed. And I knew that, hey, we were not coming back. And my first thing was, OK, let me I actually said, let me go ahead and pick my bags. Speaker 2: Is there intuition? ⁓ Speaker 1: Let me go ahead and pack the desk up. Cause I know we're not coming back. Let me start a process of looking for another job. Let me make that transition. Right. But also supporting people. Cause remember I'm in this space as a career coach. It's like supporting people who really had not in that moment, really what was happening had not really dawned on them. It was like, okay, we're just going to go home. We'll be back in a week. No. And I remember telling my boss and my colleague, Hey, go ahead and pack your bags and control your emotions. And just be preparing yourself because most likely we're not going come back. And you need to be looking for another job and be prepared to transition. Speaker 2: You're still in coach mode while going through it yourself. Speaker 1: Yes, very much so. And now I, all of these people that I know and I'm connected with. So yes, trying to support them because that's what I have been placed there to do. Right. But also in that, then I'm also running my business work solutions where I think it took about three or four months for me just to say, okay, what can I do to step out and help? Cause at this point, every you know this is we're experiencing mass layoffs in here in the DC area. So at this point

I'm starting to do workshops and I'm having people to trickle in into my workshops and events who are sharing their stories but I am not publicly sharing my story. Speaker 2: Right. Yeah. Before we get into that, I want to just slow down for a moment and really, ⁓ you know, cause people are listening, they're going to have the same thoughts, feelings and questions you had in that moment. Like, where do I go from here? What the heck happened? Or take us back into the moment when you started to feel like, ⁓ boy, this is, this is big and I need to decide whether I share this or not. Speaker 1: Well, I think that immediately what I noticed was just a lot of a lot of information coming down the pipeline, right? And just based on some of the things that I saw and the emails that were coming through or things that I was seeing take place here in DC, I kind of knew like, okay, hey, this is going to be a shift, right? Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like you kind of went straight into work mode like you just kept working. You you had this this job that was great, but you still had your business as well. You just focus in on the business. It wasn't like a moment. Speaker 1: There was a moment but I think that the moment happened the day before so I I don't go into too much detail about that moment but the reality of it was it happened at Sunday before I came in I just had to come to God moment with myself like This is about to be done right so yeah cry your tears Mourn-it and then you have to go in I didn't know how fast it was coming, right? I didn't expect the next morning when I woke up to go to work and I walked in and like hey Did you get the email or you know, did you go to the meeting? And then no, I didn't know I just got here from the train, right? And it's like no, know, we've been laid off. So well, we've been furloughed I think I am because I had had that come to Jesus meeting with myself the day before of like, okay This is the reality of it, right? this is what's about to happen. I kind of was in a better place because I had cried the day before. Also, think too as a coach and you probably have experienced that as a nurturer of people, when you see people go into a panic mode, although I had not completely processed what was happening, I jumped right into that mode of helping people. There is nothing like when you're a coach, especially a career coach, this motivational coach and mindset coach. And it's one thing to talk all of these great things. Most of us are coaches because of things that we've experienced before. Right. And we thought, okay, well, you know, finally in this place, but then to suddenly once again, find yourself having to apply all those techniques and tips that you've been telling other people, right. People are holding you to that standard. So there were definitely days even in the weeks after, I was crying. Speaker 2: Yeah, let's talk about that standard for a moment. What were you like? How are you talking to yourself about

that standard and how it's impacted you? Speaker 1: Well, I'm actually so glad that all of those courses and things that I had been telling other people that I had been making an effort to live about about mindset, because the one thing that comes with this process of grieving, right. And I think that people want. Don't don't say you were fired. You weren't fired, you were laid off. Right. So don't say you were fired, you were laid out because you're you're back to me by saying, well, I was fired. I'm kind of looking at this as like, it's my fault, right? It's not your fault that you just woke up one day and you got laid off. And it doesn't just happen in the space where I work. I mean, it happens in corporate companies and organizations. But if you are a person who gets up one morning and goes to work, even if you see the writing on the wall, you still don't want to live in the reality of it, right? You still want to be able to, so I'm so glad that I had equipped myself with those tools because that that grieving processes is up and down. So no matter what, me saying, okay, I'm a coach. That does not mean that every day was easy. Cause I just say it, like there were days I didn't even want to get out of bed, right? I didn't, my knew, ⁓ but nobody publicly knew. And then here I am as a coach, still going out for those first few months and still doing my standard workshops, right? But not telling my story because who wants to hear from a coach who's being laid off. Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an important piece. Speaker 1: Right? Yeah. So I mean, you, you had, had days when it was definitely up and down, but it was just about something about feeding myself and mindset, right? Because I was able to leverage my talents and I would say within about 30 days, I was able to get another job. And in fact, I've even transitioned from that job and moved on to something else. So in a time and a space where people are still probably looking, I've been able to leverage my knowledge and expertise as a coach and move and navigate through these spaces. But yes, it is very much a grief process. It's very much a come to Jesus process with yourself, right? To acknowledge and also to reject the fact like this is my fault. It's not. And what I've dealt with in terms of emotions of other people in this process of supporting is just all of these people who are awesome talents, who didn't get a call right away, right? And they're experiencing the emotions of I'm not good enough. Or maybe, you know, it's my resume. No, no, it's just the job market that we're in. And so as a coach, I'm still even myself, right? Still dealing with the quick transition. Cause it doesn't just the grief of what you thought was about to be. It doesn't quickly, right? But also I'm helping so many people through that process of, okay, how do I navigate to my next steps? And I know we'll get there, but it really wasn't until I started to share like, this happened just like I'm sharing it with you now.

that people started to really connect with me more. It's like when I went in a room and said like, hey, I've been there. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 1: been there with you, right? ⁓ And I remember I did two events for a local library. Both of those events, registration was maxed out. And the first event was like, okay, that was probably the first time I opened up and shared. I think it took me all the way to like May to be like, this happened to me. Speaker 2: So about five months. Yeah. It happened in January. Let's just get that time in January. You got laid off grieving process up and down a little bit of sometimes I feel bad. Sometimes I feel strong. I think that's pretty normal for a lot of people. ⁓ and then we get to the point where like five months in, you start to share your story. ⁓ was it that had you go from, I need to keep this a secret because people won't want to learn from me to, I'm just going to share this anyways. So take us to that moment. Speaker 1: It's a lot of books and things that I was reading during that time right about Sharing your story as a coach the thing about coaching is that we all become coaches because of some experience that we had and Sure, I've been a career coach for 10 years, right and I've navigated the job market but never to the point this was my first time where I'm navigating it from the standpoint like hey, I walked in to work one day and I Certainly don't have that but it's not just me. It was like a the part you know, department of like 500 plus people that I was supporting, we're all out. And I just, I was reading books on just like sharing more of your story and relating to people. But then when you walk into the room and I still was hesitant, I still was hesitant, but walking into the room, I'm gonna tell you, I did this event for a local library with no plans to share. Speaker 2: Yeah, because you hadn't shared Speaker 1: Walked in and I walked into that room and I saw all of those people there who were still grieving who still trying to figure out how to make a transition and instead of going with my Speech, you know to start off my introduction. I just said hey I'm here with you. Get it. I've been through it Emotionally still going through it right? It's still trying to process it all but you're be okay You can come you're gonna come out on the other end of this So yes, was at the event in May when I opened up for the first time and said, hey, I'm with you. Cause I saw all of the people in the room, people who had been in their careers 20, 30, even 30 years, like I said, trying to figure out, what am going to do next? Speaker 2: Yeah. It sounds like you were really pulled forward to build that connection and reassure them. Does that sound right? Speaker 1: That's what, yeah, because a lot of people they started after that started coming to like now I just host a series of free events every week. Like literally I host resume writing and career workshops every week. And then I've started booking

and bringing in professional speakers to just pour into people. don't charge a dime because the speakers don't charge me a dime, right? And what I've done is just created this support network that just pours into people because people actually need that. Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. So it sounds like your desire to serve was just greater than your fear to withhold. Speaker 1: Yeah, I think people need to see your humanness, right because every coach has a story. We have that moment that makes us and here's the thing with a career. ⁓ probably going to work on. I'll always have my business and I'll always work. And so this might, that was not the first, that was, might've been the first time it happened in their way, but who knows? It might not be the last time. Right. But the thing about that process is like, okay, now you've gone through it. People need to see your humanness, at this I can't, with all of the people who come through my workshops, come to my classes, I honestly cannot see myself, not see myself in them, right? I don't wanna be talking to them as they're going through this tough moment trying to navigate this job market. I don't wanna be talking to them as if I have an air of superiority and never have experienced what they've experienced because it's not as simple as I'm looking for a job. This for a lot of people was their identity in terms of this is what they did for years, right? And so now you have to find a new niche for transition. And so it's not as simple as people might think when folks are trying to figure out how do I start over in the midst of a job market. Yeah. Right. Speaker 2: Because the big question is, who am I? thought I was this. I thought I was this. And I thought my life was laid out for me. And that's part of that grieving process is grieving that future you thought you had that's not going to happen now in the way that you thought. Speaker 1: Exactly. I mean, I even have seen this for young people, right? Young people who might have been recent college grads and thought, OK, this is where I'm going to be. This is where I'm going to spend my career and my life work. So I've seen up and down people who, again, 40 plus years. And this was so much of their identity. And they're just like, OK, well, what am I going to do? Because it's suddenly over. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Your legacy and impact. Not with the people that you have relationships with, but it almost looks like your legacy impact just knocked out just like that. And then you have some folks who were just beginning their career and they're trying to figure out where do I go next? Because I thought that this was going to be to what you said. I'm grieving the life that I left behind. And the other said is I'm grieving the life that I never, that I thought I was going to have. I don't know where to go from here because I put so much into this. Speaker 2: Now we know you made that decision and it wasn't even intentional, which is really interesting. Like you just

walked into this moment and felt pulled to share the thing that you'd been holding on to for five months as a secret and worried about your credibility around all of that. I think for the listeners who maybe are struggling with these same decisions, part of understanding the fear ⁓ and resonating with that fear state that they might be in as to what if. would be helpful for them to learn about how you dialogue yourself through it or move yourself through it. Speaker 1: Actually, it helped when I stopped overthinking about it. When I was thinking about it all the time, like, no, I'm a career coach. ⁓ has to be a level of perfection that comes with this persona of coaching, right? I must always be, especially as a working career. Once I stopped thinking about it, and like I said, I didn't go in that room with the intention, but when I saw the emotions on the people's face who ⁓ just needed support, I'm like, hey, I get you. I've been there. I'm there now in terms of my emotions. I've been there. Speaker 2: Mmm. Speaker 1: the things I'm gonna teach you, help me to find a job and navigate this market quickly. But people, when you stop overthinking about it, that's when you can actually be more effective because sharing the story and just taking it still without overthinking it and just being my natural self, that resonated with people so much that... they felt that they have a connection. could just email Dr. Taylor and ask me anything. They could just bounce stuff off of me, right? Because they felt like that's somebody who's been there, done that. Versus if I would have kept walking into a room and like I was doing behind the scenes prior to that, which was, I don't know, you know, don't, don't, you know, cause to the point of credibility, I don't know, right? And I was like, this is persona of perfection sometimes that we like to give. But once you kind of take that cloak off and just be your natural self and don't overthink it, people. will connect with you, right? are looking for folks you connect with and who understands them. And you just never know who might connect with your story. One time, they're hey, I'm a veteran. So like, you know what mean? So I'll have different pieces of myself that I'll throw in there when I know who's in the room so that they know, like, ⁓ connect with you, right? You're not alone. Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. And every time you say veteran, I don't know if you noticed that I smile, but I also am a veteran in Canadian military, right? So there's an instant understanding when we share that piece of us with an audience and they go, they get this part of my life. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1: And you keep yourself pretty neutral, right? Just by showing people that piece of humanness that they can connect with. So I guess my advice would just be don't overthink the process of sharing your story because you just never know ⁓ you might connect with or whose life you might impact with that. Speaker 2: That's right. You know, I love about your brave moment. So often we think of brave moments as being really big, ⁓ know, loud voices, standing tall, but your brave moment was so subtle and it was so natural and it had an incredible impact. Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaker 2: So not what we picture sometimes when we think of, you my specialty is workplace relationships, workplace bullying, and often people who are targeted feel like they need to speak loud and stand up and a real energy comes with that. That isn't always needed. And I love that you've highlighted that here, that it just was simply being human in a moment when it called for it. Speaker 1: Yeah, I will tell you because this this conversation is just really making me think like because I always I always feel like I want to be the loudest voice in the room But I don't right, but I don't always scream it the way I want because I'm very yeah reserved on a lot of things But when the right moment comes and you feel that and you're good like hey, I need to say this That's what it is. And I will say since since we ⁓ Since I came forward and I've been a lot more open about like, Hey, this is what happened to me. This is my story. ⁓ In June is when started launching this. I did this again, no intent. I started launching this series of beat the bot workshops that I've been running ⁓ on a weekly basis. you know, again, I might have three people, I might have 25 or 30 people in that workshop. Whoever shows up, I run it because usually they need some help or support or finding themselves in that position. But wasn't even doing that before. would just do like a couple of labs, you know, answering career coaching questions, but that kind of compelled me to say, Hey, people need this support right now. Wow. ⁓ so like from that moment of sharing, was able to build out ⁓ a kind of a build out support group that we have for people to feel like they can come into that space and ⁓ ask me help with your resume, get some support. from somebody who's been through it, who understands what you're going through. Speaker 2: I love that. ⁓ That's amazing because I teach people when your intention is clear, the path unfolds. And before what I'm summarizing now is before you shared this moment, the intention was to keep it hidden because that was the path to credibility. But after you shared it, you realize that actually ignited the path to credibility. And it allowed you then to see the impact you could have and what unfolded since sharing it and caring enough about the people in that room, your intention to connect with them is creating a major ripple effect. Speaker 1: It is. Speaker 2: So important. So throughout this whole journey, what surprised you the most? Speaker 1: what surprised me the most is ⁓ once I start that is kind of like how me overthinking was self-sabotaging, even though I thought it was like me being positive, I actually was just overthinking and kind of once I kind of let go and said, okay, this is me, this is me real and raw, right? Like this, just this whole flood of creativity came out in terms of me being able to not only connect with people, but to better serve them and to create content and workshops and resources. to better serve the audience that needed me at the time. I just, feel like in some ways, I was self-sabotaging and holding back. And just that little ⁓ moment, like you said, it wasn't anything big. And I just literally looked around at those 25 plus people who came there and just, they were like, I was a, you know, work here and I was laid out. And I just said, okay, look, I've been through that. Once I shared it and it was like the most unexpected thing and I just let go, what that flood of creativity that I've experienced in the last few months to be able to support people, that has really surprised me. Speaker 2: Yeah, it's. It sounds like the bravest thing you could do was to lay down the judgment, the self judgment, self criticism. Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2: bravest thing you could do. That's amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that story. And for our listeners, here's a point of reflection for you. Why don't you just take stock in your life right now? And where's a moment where you might benefit from laying down, that self criticism and that self judgment to see what might come out of you sharing your moment. If you have loved today's conversation, subscribe and share with someone who's ready to start their own rebellion. And we will definitely put all of your links in the show notes where people can connect with you. Now, I will say that this conversation has opened up a bigger question for me, and it's about what happens when our vulnerability doesn't land or it doesn't have the impact we think when we're being intentional about it. So we're going to explore that in a future episode. So stay tuned. Thanks for joining me, Christy. Speaker 1: Thank you for having me, Tammy.