Full Transcript for The 6 Basic Human Needs that Can Create Your 6 Figure Year

00:04:18.529 --> 00:04:25.649 Um, and let me look it up and I can read exactly what the link is, you guys. 00:04:25.730 --> 00:04:27.649 I don't have these links memorized. 00:04:27.730 --> 00:04:30.610 I use them like how many of you guys are like me? 00:04:31.009 --> 00:04:41.009 Where you're like, you know, you use the links so many times and you just kind of like cut and paste, but you don't have them completely memorized yet. 00:04:41.250 --> 00:04:43.169 Please tell me you guys are like me. 00:04:43.569 --> 00:04:57.730 But for that link, it is the Calendly.com forward slash Aaron dash Anderson dash coaching forward slash 60 dash minute dash boundaries dash breakthrough. 00:04:57.810 --> 00:04:58.129 Okay. 00:04:58.769 --> 00:05:06.049 So if you guys would like that, please schedule that is in the description below. 00:05:07.250 --> 00:05:11.569 And with that, let's get into what these six basic human needs are. 00:05:12.850 --> 00:05:27.409 So one thing I've noticed and I've been noticing for a long time is that people really do have very similar needs and they show up differently. 00:05:27.889 --> 00:05:32.450 Um, but they do have the same needs. 00:05:33.409 --> 00:05:42.769 And at first, I always said that it's because people want to know who they are, which is not uh wrong. 00:05:43.009 --> 00:05:44.370 That's still true. 00:05:44.689 --> 00:05:53.490 People go to events um and they get into relationships and they build businesses, etc. 00:05:55.009 --> 00:06:01.409 Yes, for money, yes, for companionship, yes, for all of that. 00:06:01.970 --> 00:06:05.409 But the main reason is because they actually do want to know themselves. 00:06:05.730 --> 00:06:08.610 Relationships reveal who we are. 00:06:09.330 --> 00:06:11.090 Uh so does business. 00:06:11.250 --> 00:06:12.929 Business reveals who we are, right? 00:06:13.169 --> 00:06:18.529 We absolutely do want to understand ourselves. 00:06:20.210 --> 00:06:23.009 But there's also another piece to this. 00:06:24.370 --> 00:06:39.009 Every person I've ever talked to wants six basic things, and that is to be seen, heard, valued, validated, understood, and appreciated. 00:06:40.769 --> 00:06:58.210 And they seem so simple, but if you think about this for just a second, if you were to take away money and you were to take away, like just remove everything from you, what is the most basic thing you want, right? 00:07:00.129 --> 00:07:01.889 What do you want from your relationships? 00:07:02.049 --> 00:07:05.090 What do you want money to actually show you? 00:07:06.610 --> 00:07:08.289 It's those six basic things. 00:07:08.450 --> 00:07:23.570 If you really sit and think with and feel this for a second, you want to be seen, you want to be heard, you want to be valued, you want to be validated, you want to be appreciated, and you want to be understood. 00:07:23.730 --> 00:07:31.490 So if you sit back and you think about this for a second, you'll notice that these are the same basic things that you

yourself want. 00:07:32.049 --> 00:07:42.529 If you were to like clear all the all the other noise and clutter out from around you, that is basically what you also want. 00:07:44.129 --> 00:07:44.450 Right? 00:07:44.689 --> 00:08:05.809 Um, and this is why I say like really if we were to if we were to take a look at why we want money, why we want the business, why we want the relationship, etc., it's actually to meet one of those six basic needs. 00:08:06.210 --> 00:08:12.529 We want money to help us feel valued and in a way validated and appreciated. 00:08:12.929 --> 00:08:22.129 We want the relationships to feel seen and heard, and well, all six actually, valued, validated, appreciated, and understood. 00:08:22.689 --> 00:08:23.330 Right? 00:08:24.689 --> 00:08:30.610 We do want those things, and we want these things to show up in our results. 00:08:32.289 --> 00:08:36.610 I have yet to meet a client who doesn't want these things. 00:08:37.809 --> 00:08:45.730 Um, and or really a friend, a family member, etc., that doesn't want these things. 00:08:46.210 --> 00:08:50.610 Um, I had a chat with a family member not too long ago. 00:08:50.850 --> 00:08:54.129 And if you know me, I don't take family honest clients. 00:08:55.009 --> 00:09:19.730 But I did have a chat with them a while ago about some of the things that she was feeling in her marriage, and this feeling of not being seen or appreciated or heard or validated, you know, all of these six things was a really big thing. 00:09:20.129 --> 00:09:33.090 And uh, as she was talking to me, she kind of ruminated on it and she's like, you know, I think this is a lot of the reason why I feel angry so much, is because I don't feel these things in my marriage. 00:09:33.649 --> 00:09:39.089 I don't feel these things sometimes from my kids, I don't feel these things sometimes from my mom and dad. 00:09:39.250 --> 00:09:44.370 I don't feel these things as much as I would like to, right? 00:09:45.169 --> 00:10:02.689 Now, again, you know, there's there is experience, our circumstances do lead to thought, thought leads to feelings, feelings often anchor in the thought, and we act on those feelings and thoughts, and those become our results, right? 00:10:04.850 --> 00:10:17.089 But when we can sit back and we can really ask ourselves, okay, what is it that I want to be seen for? 00:10:17.329 --> 00:10:19.409 What do I want to be validated for? 00:10:19.649 --> 00:10:22.129 What do I want to be appreciated for? 00:10:22.529 --> 00:10:24.370 What how do I want to be valued? 00:10:24.529 --> 00:10:25.969 How do I want to be heard? 00:10:26.209 --> 00:10:28.129 How do I want to be seen? 00:10:29.569 --> 00:10:44.129 If we ask ourselves, like how we receive each one of these six basic things, and how it feels to us, what it sounds like to us, how do we know if someone sees us? 00:10:44.689 --> 00:10:47.809 How do we know if we're being understood? 00:10:48.129 --> 00:10:50.769 How do we know if we're being heard?

00:10:52.529 --> 00:10:55.809 Because people can say that they hear you, right? 00:10:55.889 --> 00:10:57.009 And you don't feel it. 00:10:57.250 --> 00:10:59.969 You feel very misunderstood in the moment. 00:11:00.449 --> 00:11:06.049 You don't feel seen, you don't feel heard, you don't feel valued, validated, appreciated, or understood in the conversation. 00:11:06.209 --> 00:11:16.769 Yet somebody else can absolutely say that, well, yeah, of course I'm I see you, I hear you, and you're like, no, you don't, you don't get it. 00:11:17.409 --> 00:11:18.929 You just know, right? 00:11:22.049 --> 00:11:25.809 How do we know what does it feel like to be seen? 00:11:25.889 --> 00:11:30.689 What does it feel like to be heard, valued, validated, appreciated, and understood? 00:11:33.409 --> 00:11:52.209 Once we can understand how that shows up in our lives and how we know if somebody sees us, then you know that's how we also know if we are safe. 00:11:52.529 --> 00:12:14.850 And if you've heard or listened to this podcast at all for the last several years, uh you know that one of the biggest things that we need to have in order to create is safety, and uh our boundaries are really what create and and contain the safety for us, right? 00:12:16.689 --> 00:12:20.449 But let me explain how this looks for me, okay. 00:12:20.850 --> 00:12:29.329 If I know that somebody sees, hears me, validates me, values me, understands me, and appreciates me. 00:12:30.209 --> 00:12:33.889 This is someone who does not put their experience above mine. 00:12:34.289 --> 00:12:56.449 If I sit down and I have a conversation with them, they don't devalue what I'm saying or or uh discount it by saying yeah, but okay, but or uh but you did, right? 00:12:57.969 --> 00:13:16.129 They sit there and they're present with me, they hold their opinions to the side for just a a minute, right, to help me be able to speak, and then as they're listening, they check in. 00:13:16.929 --> 00:13:21.569 So what I'm hearing you say is, okay, I think I understand that. 00:13:21.649 --> 00:13:23.889 Is this is this kind of what it looks like? 00:13:24.209 --> 00:13:37.809 Okay, and then if they have a point that they need to make after they have actually fulfilled these things, then they can ask, okay, I have a question. 00:13:38.689 --> 00:13:41.889 I'm seeing this particular thing. 00:13:42.049 --> 00:13:42.769 What about that? 00:13:42.929 --> 00:13:45.569 Like, how does that fit into what you're saying? 00:13:45.889 --> 00:13:46.529 Right? 00:13:47.009 --> 00:14:01.009 Like if somebody's speaking to me with that level of respect, I'm feeling respected because those six basic things are being given. 00:14:02.610 --> 00:14:23.490 They're not discounting my experience, they're not putting their experience or their emotions above mine, they're simply being present with me, not taking what I say as an attack or as truth or untruth, actually. 00:14:23.809 --> 00:14:33.569 They're just listening, they're

using their listening boundary very well by asking, okay, what is true, what is not true, where do I need more information? 00:14:34.449 --> 00:14:47.969 And they're using their talking boundary also to clarify, to make sure they get it, that they understand, because that's what's important in that moment, and then they try to help me understand as well. 00:14:48.850 --> 00:14:50.769 What about this? 00:14:52.209 --> 00:14:52.850 Right? 00:14:53.409 --> 00:15:04.850 Because when somebody feels these things in a conversation, when somebody feels these things in a relationship, because that person has great boundaries, right? 00:15:05.250 --> 00:15:06.370 Incredible boundaries. 00:15:06.529 --> 00:15:19.889 That boundary of I'm gonna be respectful, I'm gonna use my listening and my talking boundary to make sure that you know what they're saying doesn't necessarily affect me and my self-esteem. 00:15:20.289 --> 00:15:22.049 No, that stays with me. 00:15:23.409 --> 00:15:29.649 But I'm gonna listen to them so that way they know I care that they matter to me. 00:15:29.809 --> 00:15:49.089 Because let's be honest, if somebody isn't communicating these things to us in in that way, we don't feel respected, we feel discounted, we feel um unvalued, right? 00:15:49.329 --> 00:15:55.809 We we don't feel seen, we don't feel heard, we don't feel valued, validated, appreciated, or understood. 00:15:58.209 --> 00:15:59.969 And that's what it looks like for me. 00:16:00.049 --> 00:16:03.730 And my guess is it probably looks that way for you too. 00:16:04.129 --> 00:16:07.169 But here's the good news about that, right? 00:16:07.329 --> 00:16:23.730 Now, I may have accidentally tripped over a very, very sore spot for you in that moment because I do I have a feeling that there's some of you listening to this podcast that are saying right now, I wish I had somebody in my life that did that for me, right? 00:16:25.409 --> 00:16:39.649 This is again coming back to that uh main boundary of be your own best friend, because it's more important than anything that you give these six things to yourself. 00:16:40.289 --> 00:16:47.250 Because if you do, you're actually listening to yourself and experiencing your life with self-compassion. 00:16:49.250 --> 00:17:02.610 And when you're experiencing your life with self-compassion, you're able to help other people experience, like have a compassionate experience with you. 00:17:04.529 --> 00:17:16.850 So let's talk about how that moves now into creating money for you and creating money in your business. 00:17:17.569 --> 00:17:26.930 If you remember, something else I've also said is that your business is going to be built, yes, upon your boundaries because it's it's an extension of you, right? 00:17:27.730 --> 00:17:33.809 But it also is built upon the relationships you build because of that extension. 00:17:34.289 --> 00:17:44.450 Every dollar we earn and every dollar we give out goes to some type of relationship, and relationships have these six things in them. 00:17:45.250 --> 00:18:06.370 If you give money to Amazon, and I'm sure there's many of you that are listening to this podcast right now that have given money to Amazon, and because there's a they have a product on Amazon that you're like, ooh, I want that or I need that, right? 00:18:07.569 --> 00:18:16.769 Because that product meets those six needs, being seen, heard, appreciated, understood, valued, and validated, right? 00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:27.410 Um, one thing I recently bought from Amazon was this uh this cool little, it's like a trapezius release kind of a thing. 00:18:27.650 --> 00:18:44.290 You lay on it and it's got nodules, and those nodules put pressure on the muscles around your spine to help them relax, release, and to uh get like blood flow back into the muscle fiber. 00:18:44.610 --> 00:18:49.250 So that way you're feeling less tense, you're feeling less pain, etc. 00:18:50.930 --> 00:18:55.730 And I bought it because I it met those six needs. 00:18:55.810 --> 00:19:02.769 I felt seen because ow, I I had been dealing with back pain for a while, right? 00:19:03.650 --> 00:19:08.769 I felt heard because I talked about the back pain and I wanted a solution. 00:19:09.009 --> 00:19:14.930 I wanted something that I could do to help get some relief, right? 00:19:15.009 --> 00:19:19.730 Without having to take harmful drugs and ibuprofen and things like that into my body. 00:19:20.850 --> 00:19:31.090 I felt valued because somebody actually saw and heard me and created something to help that was validating that, hey, guess what? 00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:32.210 I'm actually not crazy. 00:19:32.290 --> 00:19:33.570 This does hurt. 00:19:34.050 --> 00:19:41.250 And that felt un that helped me feel understood and appreciated, right? 00:19:42.130 --> 00:19:53.410 Because somebody created something for this need to create to fulfill these needs in me, and that need also had basis in each one of those six needs. 00:19:53.970 --> 00:19:57.009 So of course, I bought with my money. 00:19:58.850 --> 00:20:09.170 The question now then becomes, and this is also why we as business coaches ask you like, what is your ideal client, or who is your ideal client? 00:20:09.410 --> 00:20:28.610 Whether you're a coach, whether you're a boutique, whether you uh are someone, I I actually had a beautiful client not too long ago who owned um a business that would take like big rigs and service them, right? 00:20:30.130 --> 00:20:32.610 That was her business and it worked. 00:20:32.690 --> 00:20:33.650 It was a beautiful business. 00:20:33.810 --> 00:20:35.490 She did great, right? 00:20:36.290 --> 00:20:51.090 But each one of these businesses help their clients and customers feel seen, heard, valued, validated, appreciated, and understood. 00:20:51.410 --> 00:21:04.610 And when my clients helped their customers and clients feel this in their experience with them, it was an absolute beautiful process to watch, right?

00:21:05.170 --> 00:21:09.650 Because my client became someone different. 00:21:10.450 --> 00:21:18.290 It caused them to have to set boundaries within themselves so that way their clients could have that type of an experience with them. 00:21:19.730 --> 00:21:20.769 That matters. 00:21:21.490 --> 00:21:24.769 That's a big deal, right? 00:21:28.290 --> 00:21:41.490 And the more that they focused on making sure that those clients and customers had this experience with their business, the more money they made. 00:21:42.050 --> 00:21:46.450 Because people buy and they vote with their dollars, right? 00:21:47.330 --> 00:21:51.730 Each every dollar goes to some type of relationship, fulfilling some type of need. 00:21:51.810 --> 00:22:03.090 And so if we're sitting there filling these six basic types with our business, no matter what business it is, we tend to get more clients and we tend to get more customers. 00:22:05.170 --> 00:22:07.330 So what if you're a chocolatier? 00:22:07.410 --> 00:22:09.490 What if you're a candy maker, right? 00:22:10.450 --> 00:22:15.490 How do you help your clients feel these things? 00:22:17.810 --> 00:22:19.250 What do they want? 00:22:19.490 --> 00:22:26.690 And how does that transmute into feeling seen, heard, valued, validated, appreciated, and understood, right? 00:22:27.330 --> 00:22:40.930 Maybe you have a maybe you have a customer appreciation day where you take your most popular flavor, the thing that everybody just absolutely loves, and that's what's on the sample table. 00:22:43.330 --> 00:22:49.810 And everybody maybe gets a$5 off uh for a$30 box of chocolates, right? 00:22:51.970 --> 00:22:58.850 And as they come through the line to buy their$30 box of chocolates, if you think C's candies, you know what I'm talking about. 00:22:59.330 --> 00:23:04.050 But as everybody comes through the line, somebody's there to greet them. 00:23:06.450 --> 00:23:16.130 And all they have to say about those clients and those customers is just the most fabulous things of customer experience as a chocolatier. 00:23:17.090 --> 00:23:24.050 Maybe you're creating chocolate creations that speak to that client and that customer, right? 00:23:25.410 --> 00:23:31.570 Like roses, chocolate roses for Valentine's Day or chocolate eggs for Easter, right? 00:23:31.810 --> 00:23:37.890 What of what is it that makes those clients feel seen, heard, valued, validated, appreciated, understood? 00:23:38.769 --> 00:23:40.610 Maybe you own a boutique. 00:23:42.930 --> 00:23:46.130 What is it that your ideal client wants? 00:23:46.529 --> 00:23:49.810 They want to probably feel beautiful and feminine. 00:23:50.050 --> 00:23:56.610 And so the clothes that you have there, if they look beautiful and feminine, right? 00:23:57.330 --> 00:23:59.250 And maybe you're somebody who's really cool. 00:23:59.410 --> 00:24:07.490 I have a good friend who owns a boutique, and she's super cool because she understands how to dress the different energy types. 00:24:07.890 --> 00:24:10.050 Um, think Carol Tettle there. 00:24:10.769 --> 00:24:25.650 And she has a section for each one of the different energy types, helping her clients feel very seen and very valued and appreciated, understood, right? 00:24:28.850 --> 00:24:38.130 And they're very hurt because she very personally goes in with many of the clients and asks them exactly what it is they're looking for. 00:24:38.290 --> 00:24:41.009 What do they want to feel like in their clothing? 00:24:41.170 --> 00:24:43.650 How do they want to behave in their clothing? 00:24:43.890 --> 00:24:55.170 Helping them actually set internal boundaries because a boundary, yes, we are going to behave a certain way, but eventually it also transmutes into our appearance. 00:24:55.970 --> 00:24:57.570 It often does. 00:25:14.290 --> 00:25:14.610 Okay. 00:25:16.690 --> 00:25:28.769 So uh, and same thing with if if you're a coach and you want more clients, well, how do you help that client feel seen, heard, valued, validated, appreciated, and understood? 00:25:31.330 --> 00:25:46.370 These are the six basic things that does almost always transmute into how your clients uh have an experience with you, and clients pay for what they value, right? 00:25:47.490 --> 00:25:49.650 And they value these six basic things. 00:25:49.890 --> 00:25:53.170 This also works in your personal relationships. 00:25:54.690 --> 00:26:01.970 I've heard a lot of parents say, especially with teenagers, that oh, he just doesn't listen. 00:26:02.290 --> 00:26:05.650 Oh, teenagers, they don't listen, right? 00:26:06.610 --> 00:26:14.290 And to be honest, what I have found is it's actually not the kids that don't listen. 00:26:14.529 --> 00:26:21.009 They eventually get to that point, but it's because they're not having these six basic things met. 00:26:21.970 --> 00:26:27.650 And it usually comes because the parent does put their experience above that of the child. 00:26:28.930 --> 00:27:12.050 And when that stops, and they're they are instead focused, the parent is instead focused on these six things and not putting their fears or their insecurities or the what their what-ifs on that child, that they're just simply a guide because they want the child's experience with them to be more important than their expectations, and the reason why is because that parent also understands that what that child is experiencing with them is where that child will or won't go if they're having a struggle. 00:27:13.330 --> 00:27:16.210 Our kids are going to struggle no matter what. 00:27:16.769 --> 00:27:18.210 It's inevitable. 00:27:20.130 --> 00:27:31.330 But if they have somebody to walk with and they trust some that somebody, hopefully that's a mom or dad, then they're never, at least they're never alone. 00:27:32.210 --> 00:27:46.290 And they still have someone to work out their mind with because teens are getting into that into that realization that they too also want to feel like they're valued as a human. 00:27:48.290 --> 00:27:52.290 But they're still also figuring out who they are as a human, right? 00:27:53.810 --> 00:28:12.529 And when that is when you're able to uh navigate that in safety, go to a parent and say, Hey, you know, I'm having this struggle, and mom just or dad just sits there and listens and says those same things, like, have you thought about this? 00:28:13.009 --> 00:28:14.529 What have you tried? 00:28:15.490 --> 00:28:15.970 Right? 00:28:16.210 --> 00:28:24.690 Giving the child the autonomy over their brain, letting them think, letting them feel like they actually are smart enough to figure it out. 00:28:26.210 --> 00:28:27.890 Oftentimes those kids do. 00:28:29.650 --> 00:28:32.850 And they make really, really good choices. 00:28:33.090 --> 00:28:46.769 This is something I have seen across the board with parents who teach who uh mentor their kids that way because they too are fulfilling these six basic needs, guys. 00:28:47.090 --> 00:28:51.250 When I say that these are foundational, I'm not kidding. 00:28:51.490 --> 00:28:55.250 Everything comes back down to these six basic human needs, my loves. 00:28:55.410 --> 00:29:11.330 And when they're utilized, we tend to find relationships that we love being in, and businesses that are creating exactly what we want them to. 00:29:12.529 --> 00:29:18.290 And then we also find that both of them are not separate, they're actually one and the same. 00:29:19.170 --> 00:29:20.130 All right, my loves. 00:29:20.210 --> 00:29:22.769 I hope this episode was really helpful for you. 00:29:22.930 --> 00:29:30.370 Again, if you guys would like some specific and personalized help with your personal boundaries, feel free to book that call. 00:29:30.529 --> 00:29:36.370 Let me help you also feel seen, heard, validated, valued, understood, and appreciated. 00:29:36.769 --> 00:29:41.410 And let me also help you create the cash from that foundation as well. 00:29:41.890 --> 00:29:43.170 All right, my loves. 00:29:43.330 --> 00:29:44.930 I'll see you next time. 00:29:45.170 --> 00:29:45.810 Bye.