Full Transcript for Maybe Consistency Isn’t About Discipline

to what women do, and I think the reason being is because we are the nurturers, we are the laborers with nurturing. 00:04:41.090 --> 00:04:44.370 Um, we're the we're the ones that raise the kids. 00:04:44.529 --> 00:04:51.569 Like women tend to wear so many hats, and that is not to discount men at all. 00:04:51.889 --> 00:04:53.250 So grateful for them. 00:04:53.409 --> 00:05:01.889 Like, honestly, without my husband going to work every single day, what I put out into the world would not be possible. 00:05:02.210 --> 00:05:06.370 So, like, kudos to the guys that are around us, okay. 00:05:07.009 --> 00:05:23.649 But it's also important to note that because we're the ones that are kind of the home builders, we are the ones that are also tracking a billion different moving pieces, okay? 00:05:24.610 --> 00:05:35.889 And I think that's why sometimes we get labeled as inconsistent, but in reality, I don't necessarily think it's inconsistency. 00:05:36.049 --> 00:05:47.809 I think it's exhaustion, emotional overwhelm, taking on too much, not enough support, or a nervous system that simply just doesn't have the room to carry one more thing. 00:05:48.610 --> 00:06:03.490 And I want to say um here something that I think a lot of entrepreneur women quietly quietly experience, and is that is that you don't lack discipline necessarily. 00:06:03.649 --> 00:06:08.610 I think it takes a lot of discipline to be able to do everything that we do. 00:06:09.169 --> 00:06:23.649 And if you're listening to this podcast and you're part of my audience, I know for a fact you're not sitting behind a TV eating potato chips on a daily basis um and getting and and doing absolutely nothing else, right? 00:06:24.370 --> 00:06:34.929 You're someone who's highly motivated, and that's not lacking discipline, it's just literally carrying too much. 00:06:35.250 --> 00:06:44.610 And um capable because capable women often become the person that everybody else depends on. 00:06:44.929 --> 00:06:51.409 And somewhere along the way, many of us develop this belief that says this matters deeply, and I don't know, but but here's the problem. 00:06:51.570 --> 00:06:56.450 I just don't know if I can trust someone else to carry it the way it needs to be carried. 00:06:56.689 --> 00:07:01.570 I don't trust that somebody else can do it the way I can do it, so I'll just do it. 00:07:03.250 --> 00:07:15.809 And that pattern often comes from love, it comes from leadership, it comes from understanding our responsibility and from care and wanting things done well because it's got your name on it. 00:07:16.049 --> 00:07:17.009 I get it. 00:07:17.730 --> 00:07:27.409 But the problem is, is eventually instead of expanding our capacity to receive, it fills our capacity with overwhelm. 00:07:28.370 --> 00:07:45.809 And so eventually there's just simply not enough room in our nervous systems to create sustainability, and it's not because we're failing, it's not because we're lazy, it's because we're human

beings and we were never designed to carry everything alone. 00:07:46.289 --> 00:07:58.769 Um, we only have 24 hours in a day, and somewhere we need to have downtime, we need to have self-care, and we need to have sleep, we need to take a bath, we need to brush our teeth. 00:07:58.850 --> 00:08:40.769 And if we're pushing all of us out of our life, and I get it, guys, like at this moment, I'm doing my business, my podcast, uh, going back to school full-time, doing momhood, like I get like I might even be preaching preaching to the choir here, but if we don't take the time for ourselves, we tend to get into overwhelm, and then all of a sudden that transmutes into I'm not dependable, I'm not organized enough, I'm not uh disciplined enough, I'm not enough for this role. 00:08:42.450 --> 00:08:48.450 And over-responsibility is really honestly overfunctioning. 00:08:50.610 --> 00:09:04.610 But healing teaches us things like support is safe, delegation is safe, being helped is safe, receiving receiving what I need and what I want is safe. 00:09:05.330 --> 00:09:14.689 And honestly, consistency isn't about doing more, it's about stop, it's about learning how to stop carrying everything. 00:09:16.289 --> 00:09:20.289 And you might be asking yourself, okay, but how do I do that? 00:09:20.689 --> 00:09:27.009 Like I've tried to give things to people and they come back, and it's just an absolute mess. 00:09:27.250 --> 00:09:30.529 And so I end up having to do it anyway, which takes up more of my time. 00:09:30.610 --> 00:09:35.570 Like, I totally hear how like how this whole thing unfolds, okay? 00:09:36.049 --> 00:09:40.689 But the problem is, is that's actually not an unfolding that's keeping us in a trauma cycle. 00:09:41.169 --> 00:09:55.969 So let's talk then about consistency and self-trust because we want to undo this trauma cycle and get into a trust cycle, knowing that you're at the helm and you're leading it, so things are going to actually work out. 00:09:56.449 --> 00:09:56.769 Okay. 00:09:58.529 --> 00:10:03.649 So consistency has a lot more to do with self-trust than control. 00:10:04.689 --> 00:10:10.449 Because when a woman trusts herself, she doesn't need to force herself forward every second of every day. 00:10:10.689 --> 00:10:25.889 She knows how to quickly return to herself, make relationship repair with herself, and she knows how to reconnect with her voice, her vision, her soul, her values, her boundaries. 00:10:26.129 --> 00:10:28.769 She knows how to reconnect with herself. 00:10:29.409 --> 00:10:39.490 And that return matters way more than absolute perfection ever will, because life has seasons. 00:10:40.129 --> 00:10:50.689 And in this season, you might be a mom and maybe a young mom, even, and building a business, wanting to go six, seven figures. 00:10:50.769 --> 00:10:53.169 You're not sure how to do it with little kids, right? 00:10:54.129 --> 00:11:02.049 Um, maybe you're more of a maturepreneur, maybe you're right in between, like I am, who've got adult kids and I've got little kids, right? 00:11:03.009 --> 00:11:14.449 Some seasons feel awesome and energized, some feel tender, some feel uncertain, heavy, and some require rest, some require rebuilding. 00:11:14.769 --> 00:11:16.929 Seasons are simply just seasons. 00:11:17.009 --> 00:11:32.769 But if we don't have consistency within ourselves, within those seasons, because seasons are inconsistent all the time, every single day comes, every single day, but what's inside the day is not consistent. 00:11:33.569 --> 00:11:42.929 Um, we have to have some sort of consistency within ourselves, otherwise, we find ourselves in nervous system and emotional dysregulation. 00:11:43.809 --> 00:11:55.009 And that matters, especially as women, especially as moms, um, especially as entrepreneurs, balancing emotional labor and ambition at the same time. 00:11:56.049 --> 00:12:06.049 So, one thing I've noticed in business is that growth challenges visibility. 00:12:07.169 --> 00:12:16.610 And that's the reason why is because visibility can bring up a lot of vulnerability and emotions. 00:12:17.009 --> 00:12:25.730 And you know, vulnerability plus accountability is an absolute superpower, but that still doesn't mean that we want to be vulnerable with everyone. 00:12:26.610 --> 00:12:45.969 Um we still need to be able to know the difference behind someone who is safe and behind someone who is not, and because you should be able to feel safe. 00:12:48.049 --> 00:13:03.889 And there are some people, even with vulnerability and accountability, that will use that accountability and vulnerability against you in some way, especially if they're challenged by your success. 00:13:04.610 --> 00:13:20.850 Okay, and you might have already noticed this, and so that visibility and that vulnerability might have already brought up criticism, rejection, pressure, conflict, misunderstanding, jealousy, or disappointment. 00:13:21.569 --> 00:13:31.569 So when business asks us to become more visible, it's gonna bring emotions to the surface because our nervous system is gonna ask us if we're actually safe. 00:13:32.129 --> 00:13:50.610 And this is why compassion matters so much more than entrepreneurship, because sometimes what looks like procrastination from the outside is actually someone navigating expansion from the inside while also carrying old emotional experiences at the same time. 00:13:51.089 --> 00:14:03.250 You can't just move on from the past without healing it and understanding how the past isn't going to represent again or resurface again in your future. 00:14:04.370 --> 00:14:14.689 So the thing is consistency looks a lot softer than what we've been taught, especially for the feminine entrepreneur. 00:14:15.409 --> 00:14:56.850 It looks like returning to yourself, especially after a deep, difficult week, speaking kindly to yourself when there's a lot of growth happening, being patient with yourself through that growth, allowing

yourself rest and staying on top of your self-care before you hit burnout, simplifying instead of constantly pushing harder, honoring your capacity honestly, creating boundaries that protect your energy and continuing imperfectly instead of disappearing completely, which unfortunately is something that I do see happen. 00:14:57.089 --> 00:15:09.169 And heavens, when I the last time, which was not very long ago, when I burnt out, I did disappear completely because I couldn't hold one more thing. 00:15:23.409 --> 00:15:24.850 It is okay. 00:15:25.649 --> 00:15:41.889 And sustainable women create sustainable businesses, and it's it's it's not because they never struggle or because they never they do everything perfectly every single day, but it's because they stay connected to themselves while they grow. 00:15:42.049 --> 00:15:47.250 They stay, they're the one person that they never abandon, right? 00:15:48.689 --> 00:16:01.889 And I think the hardest thing for highly capable women is learning how to receive support without guilt, because many women have learned how to survive becoming deeply self-sufficient and reliant. 00:16:02.049 --> 00:16:35.409 And let's also be honest, there's also an underlying message, I think, in society teaching women that if you're uh reliant on yourself, that you are sufficient, um, or that you're self-sufficient, I think that there is a little bit of a you're too much, or you're Karen, or there's there's quite a bit of judgment around women who are very capable, right? 00:16:36.689 --> 00:16:39.889 And we don't like it because it's not true. 00:16:41.329 --> 00:16:46.689 But if it's not true, why on earth does do we feel pulled into it? 00:16:48.370 --> 00:16:57.569 Because someone, especially a woman who is deeply secure with herself, recognizes that's their problem, that is their voice. 00:16:57.809 --> 00:17:01.089 And again, maybe preaching a little bit to the choir here. 00:17:01.169 --> 00:17:05.970 I still get drawn into drama, but I know that the seven-figure me doesn't. 00:17:06.769 --> 00:17:12.610 So that's one of the things that I personally am working on right now as I'm recording this podcast. 00:17:14.130 --> 00:17:38.930 And here's the thing, even if ever if every responsibility can continues flowing through one nervous system, even though you're deeply independent and deeply self-reliant, if everything keeps flowing through your nervous system and your nervous system alone, that's why overwhelm happens. 00:17:39.009 --> 00:17:40.850 It actually becomes inevitable. 00:17:41.569 --> 00:17:53.650 So it's important to ask questions like what actually belongs to me, what can be simplified, what can be supported, where am I overcarrying? 00:17:54.049 --> 00:17:58.930 Where have I connected my worth to being the one who handles everything? 00:17:59.809 --> 00:18:00.450 Right? 00:18:01.170 --> 00:18:12.529 And how can, and I think another question here is how can I lead my team, or how can I build a team that

accepts my leadership? 00:18:14.610 --> 00:18:29.250 I think that that's a really important piece because a team that is going to accept your leadership is also going to build with your brand and your name in mind because they honor it, because they honor you. 00:18:31.730 --> 00:18:33.810 So receiving is a skill too. 00:18:35.009 --> 00:18:38.769 And it requires us having to ask those questions. 00:18:39.570 --> 00:18:45.410 And the women who create sustainable success are not the women that are carrying the most. 00:18:45.730 --> 00:18:49.890 They're the women who learned how to build support around what matters most. 00:18:50.610 --> 00:19:02.290 And I also think it's important to talk about what like what happens after we finally allow support into our lives and our businesses, because support doesn't just magically happen because we hired someone. 00:19:03.090 --> 00:19:06.370 Support grows through leadership. 00:19:06.690 --> 00:19:09.730 Leadership is the filter of support. 00:19:10.850 --> 00:19:24.769 And one of the most powerful forms of feminine leadership is creating environments where people genuinely feel seen, heard, understood, valued, appreciated, celebrated, admired, and trusted. 00:19:25.090 --> 00:19:35.330 Because people naturally expand in their environments where they feel not just emotionally safe, but feel like a rock star every single time that they walk in the door. 00:19:35.490 --> 00:19:55.890 Like if we know and we express how valuable that person is and how we just absolutely love what they're creating, and how capable and cognizant they are in their job, these are people that create that way. 00:19:57.250 --> 00:20:08.050 And it's not just in employees, that's true for marriages, that's true for children, that's true for teams, and honestly, that's true for us too. 00:20:09.090 --> 00:20:18.529 Employees who feel valued and appreciated are often far more willing to carry responsibility well because they don't feel like invisible machines. 00:20:18.690 --> 00:20:32.930 They feel connected to the mission, they feel respected, they feel like their contribution matters, and they feel like they have a purpose because healthy leadership also balances nurture with accountability. 00:20:33.330 --> 00:20:49.410 It's not avoiding hard conversations, it's being willing to lovingly have them, and it's saying with authenticity, honesty, and true love for the people that you surround yourself. 00:20:49.650 --> 00:20:56.130 I value you, I value the communication, the honest communication that we have. 00:20:56.370 --> 00:21:02.610 I appreciate that you're not hiding, that you're stepping up, you're taking accountability. 00:21:02.690 --> 00:21:04.769 Like, holy cow, you're amazing. 00:21:05.009 --> 00:21:07.890 I'm so glad you're part of my team. 00:21:08.210 --> 00:21:12.690 I respect you enough to uphold standards because I know you're going to. 00:21:12.930 --> 00:21:17.170 I care enough about this vision to help all of us grow. 00:21:17.490 --> 00:21:25.170 Because accountability without care feels harsh and it feels uncaring because it is. 00:21:26.050 --> 00:21:29.970 But care without accountability also creates instability. 00:21:32.370 --> 00:21:40.050 Healthy leadership really requires a balance of both accountability and care at the same time. 00:21:40.370 --> 00:21:47.250 Because then now you're communicating, hey, I see you and I know what you're capable of, and I know you can do it. 00:21:47.490 --> 00:21:48.529 I trust you. 00:21:48.690 --> 00:21:50.529 I trust you to do that. 00:21:51.250 --> 00:21:55.730 And this applies to the relationship that we have with ourselves too. 00:21:56.050 --> 00:22:03.730 So many women are incredible at valuing and supporting everyone else while speaking harshly to themselves internally. 00:22:04.529 --> 00:22:09.810 But expansion happens when we begin creating that same environment within ourselves. 00:22:10.290 --> 00:22:21.170 When we start saying, I see myself, I hear myself, I value myself, I appreciate myself for what I'm carrying and what I have the capacity for. 00:22:21.490 --> 00:22:29.009 I celebrate my growth, I trust myself to keep learning, and I can hold both compassion and accountability at the same time. 00:22:30.210 --> 00:22:34.690 That's where our capacity to receive actually starts to expand. 00:22:34.769 --> 00:22:44.370 It's not through pressure, it's not through self-punishment, but through building an internal relationship safe enough to grow inside of. 00:23:05.730 --> 00:23:16.130 In our needs, ignore our emotions and say yes when we mean no, or disconnect from ourselves to keep everyone else comfortable, it becomes harder to create from a grounded place. 00:23:16.690 --> 00:23:20.850 Boundaries bring us back into alignment, and alignment creates clarity. 00:23:21.009 --> 00:23:33.410 Clarity creates safety, safety creates consistency, not force consistency, but and not pressure-based consistency, but actual consistency that feels good. 00:23:34.050 --> 00:23:39.970 We are consistent because we like what we're doing, we see the results. 00:23:40.210 --> 00:23:45.170 We're putting forth an investment that actually brings return. 00:23:51.009 --> 00:23:52.290 Absolutely. 00:23:52.850 --> 00:23:58.450 And there are moments where we need to honor commitments even when we don't feel like honoring them. 00:23:58.610 --> 00:24:04.130 But I think that leadership, especially feminine leadership, requires wisdom. 00:24:04.450 --> 00:24:20.850 It asks what actually supports me long-term, what helps me stay connected to myself, to my vision, what rhythm helps me to keep growing without abandoning myself and my peace and my vision? 00:24:21.170 --> 00:24:27.650 Because success that costs you your relationship with yourself eventually stops feeling successful. 00:24:27.970 --> 00:24:30.050 It starts feeling burdensome. 00:24:30.610 --> 00:24:35.090 And I think we're starting to wake up to that as women. 00:24:35.730 --> 00:24:42.610 So maybe consistency was never meant to feel like a punishment or a chore. 00:24:43.570 --> 00:25:02.450 It was maybe meant to feel like devotion and self-love and appreciation for ourselves, returning, connecting, reconnecting, and remembering who we are, why we're here, what our boundaries are, and how to live within our values. 00:25:03.009 --> 00:25:09.410 Again and again, because living within our values is what brings our value up. 00:25:10.130 --> 00:25:14.769 And when our value goes up, guess what increases our ability to receive? 00:25:15.009 --> 00:25:24.050 And when our ability to receive increases, that's when we start seeing those six and seven figures in our bank accounts. 00:25:24.290 --> 00:25:40.529 So maybe the women who build beautiful things are not always the women that are caring the most, but maybe it's the women who learned how to receive, how to trust, how to lead, how to honor themselves, and how to create support around the life they're building. 00:25:40.850 --> 00:25:48.130 And that kind of consistency is what gets in and actually shifts the world. 00:25:48.690 --> 00:25:59.490 Because let's be honest, the reason why you started business in the first place is because you saw also the impact, the positive impact it can have on society. 00:26:01.250 --> 00:26:13.730 So, my loves, if this episode spoke to you, share it with an with more of your entrepreneur friends, especially those that you know could use the boundaries and the help. 00:26:14.130 --> 00:26:32.210 The second thing I'd also invite you to do, if you want more help, if you want more help clarifying your business, you want more help bringing in more income, and you want help clarifying your boundaries so that way you can absolutely crush your next ceiling and create what it is you say you want to create. 00:26:32.529 --> 00:26:33.890 Book the call. 00:26:34.050 --> 00:26:36.529 The link is in the description below. 00:26:36.930 --> 00:26:45.170 You get to talk to me personally, and you and I will go over uh what boundaries you need to create the next version of you. 00:26:45.410 --> 00:26:47.570 No pressure, no questions asked. 00:26:47.730 --> 00:26:51.170 Well, lots of questions asked, but no pressure. 00:26:51.890 --> 00:27:00.769 Just me being absolutely present with you, seeing every aspect of you, so that way you can create the next version of you. 00:27:01.170 --> 00:27:04.130 And along with that, the income that comes. 00:27:04.450 --> 00:27:05.570 All right, my loves. 00:27:05.810 --> 00:27:08.450 Until next time, I'll see you next week. 00:27:08.690 --> 00:27:09.330 Bye.