I sit down in the mancave with Tom Rhodes to talk about hanging out with fans, the French revolution, traveling, snowboarding in Switzerland, and touring Charlie Chaplins house. 

Check out Toms podcast on iTunes "Tom Rhodes Radio Smart Camp" 

Tom also has a special on iTunes called "All Hail Laughter" 

Tom will be in Paris France on January 29th at the Theater De La Louve 

Tom will also be at the punchline in San Francisco Feb 7th-10th

For more tour dates go to www.tomrhodes.net 


This episode is brought to you by MVMT watches. For 15% off, free shipping, and free returns go to www.mvmt.com/bertcast 

This episode is also brought to you by Blue Apron. To get $30 off your first order with free shipping go to https://www.blueapron.com/bertcast 

This episode is also brought to you by Beach Body. For your free 30 day trial membership text Bert to 303030 

This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Try Zip Recruiter for free today by going to www.ziprecruiter.com/bertcast 


For all TOUR DATE & MERCH click HERE: http://www.bertbertbert.com   To Follow me on.. Twitter: https://twitter.com/bertkreischer   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BertKreischer  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bertkreischer/?hl=en Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Akreischer 



United States
explicit content


00:00:09hey guys brand new podcast it's the bee man sitting here with the
00:00:14no lie and it was a great podcast today the one who was great it was really great I wish we had more time to cut it short because my daughters were stealing daddy Georgia came to me this morning was like Daddy we need to play tennis today and I've been wanting to do that with her and I've been so busy I haven't been able to do it and so I want to play tennis with her instead of playing our tennis weed went over her interview for her the scallops high school she wants to go to a really great daddy-daughter moment to ask me questions I'll tell you how she answered it and then I'll show you how I told her to answer it what are you most proud of what achievement are you most proud of
00:01:00probably my boy comedy
00:01:03what should answer that for me was I don't know
00:01:20that's why I said well can I tell you what I think I would be proud of how are you choose what I said choir you made on your own to go to choir and it forced you to get up everyday an hour earlier to get ready for school and you worked really hard you never missed a day of school you never missed a choir practice and and it's something you earned that you felt really proud of earning you feel really probably go up to those fire things and that's part of the reason you like she's been she marked it into his part of the reason I liked the school she wants to go to is because they had a dance thing and she watch the dancing she watched all the girls cheer for the girls dancing and she thought that kind of community that kind of support kind of camaraderie is want something she want to be part of way to go Dad but yet so I the podcast was fucking Cruising I mean it you guys going to be pissed cuz we're literally like we're at the perfect part of the cigar were at the perfect part of conversation and sounds like there's so much more I want to talk to you about
00:02:20dude I have to go play tennis with my daughter I'm so sorry so the podcast is only like an hour and a half today I apologize I genuine dude I'm going to Tom back and and everyone check out his podcast podcast Olsen
00:02:33it's a title Tom Rhodes I have it on my podcast list one of my phone on me I'm tour dates coming up
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00:03:41I said to Leanna was like I was like I want a movement watch will you pick one out for me and Leanne pick a watch that is heavier than my Rolex and I love the notice the weight of a watch and by the way watch wasn't more than a hundred fifty bucks and it's all black Sleek watch I wear 1 watch for the whole thing lately I've been wearing this one watch this Garmin Running watch everywhere and I got dressed up to go out there tonight and I thought fuck I don't want to wear this watch I want to watch it right now I have this movement watch any of the day are size that I put it on I took off the other one and I'll be enough it looks a lot like my running watch but sleeker nights with all black it's got the Tupac in the Tupac band Tupac Shakur had a band on his All Eyez on Me album on his right wrist wrist that looks like that watch to a beautiful fucking watch
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00:05:41short to go play tennis in a Rolex I hated that you did go this weekend and I Ward on stage and I was like it's so cool when you go on stage you look at your watch see where you are and I was like uh that's super easy here's the deal there's tons of product literally go to their website you can get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns guys this literally makes Valentine's Day painless go by your chicken watch bracelet 15% off today go to movement.com bertcast at mvmt.com broadcast one more time go to mvmt.com bertcast
00:06:41join the movement I love that I love and honor read on a good better way to drive the forklift today's podcast is also brought to you by a guy told me he told me I'm stuck with me by Blue Apron many people don't know about what type of meals you can cook with blue apron I love this fucking company we had beef stroganoff last night was fun nominal and then earlier this week I made a some kind of tubular pasta but it was much bigger than today and it was up with ground chicken and kale and it was a bit
00:07:41no more burgers for dinner you're making short ribs burgers with Hoppy cheese sauce on a pretzel bun seared steak and time pants off and mashed potatoes crispy shallots to the grocery store that will be every meal per person is under $10 per person every meal is under 45 minutes the variety is through the fucking roof it is easy it brings your family together it is Blue Apron you know we love them and what makes fun of me for my Blue Apron reads because I'm so obsessed with this fucking company they last night we all sat and had beef stroganoff together and I thought so what's your favorite part of the day I love what's your favorite part of the day Georgia what's your least favorite part of the day daddy what's your least favorite part of the day Mommy Mommy Mommy no one calls me dad they call me Bubby and they call you Lee Ann Arbor
00:08:40Craigslist boy / 8 weeks blueacre April is teaming up with Whole 30 I do not know 30 is a movement to get you to eat healthier and you eat cleaner of the bullshit
00:09:01Blue Apron see me up at Whole 30 for the next eight weeks to bring your delicious recipes or menu will feature to Whole 30 approved recipes each week like seared steak and warm lemon salsa verde with roasted broccoli and sweet potatoes I am right it's basically veggies and protein I think and chicken and kale chicken and kale orange salad with a spicy tahini dressing kick your new year off with a bang with blue apron and Whole 30
00:09:32well this is perfect because you know I'm doing the 21 Day Fix so then that's got to be right in I mean because for me I I was able to modify my beef stroganoff so that it worked for the 21 Day Fix but that would be awesome that I have to check that out it's convenient every meal is delivered right to your door you can make another 45 minutes or less the menu changes every week based upon what's in season and it's designed by their in-house culinary chef they offer 12 new recipes a week and you can pick two three or four recipes based on what fits your schedule they are high-quality no GMO ingredients meets with no added hormones they are fucking Blue Apron you know I love them if you haven't by the way if you're listening podcast and you have at least one sign up for Blue Apron crazy nights a week tell you eat it every other night
00:10:32yeah that was good yeah that was good to the ones that aren't the Whole 30 ones spicy pork and Korean rice cakes with baby bok choy yes fucking I love love that would that's so good so good treating Burke Catholic $30 off your first order if your visit blueapron.com forecast so check out this week's menu and get your $30 off with free shipping at blueapron.com bird craft Blue Apron a better way to cook and I argue a better way to live
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00:12:32but my jeans are looser and I feel better I thought it would be really hard and it hasn't been that hard I just had to like set it up right right once I got mad cuz she's like I can't do it now I can't do it now my daddy is here my dad is here I didn't realize what it was I'm not going to do it but it's really easy it's working out for 21 days and it is very convenient no no no I like how do you watch it how do you do the work I have their app on Demand app on my phone and I put it on my TV through Apple TV 3 week every day I videotaped secretly and put it on I do come on
00:13:27but I'm good I'm good you look sure to look fantastic I'm leaving work meals are really actually really easy because there is something that is a free website called 21dayfixhub and that website has tons of recipes so I went like I sat down the Sunday before I started and I planned every single day of the first week and that's really all I had to do because after I did follow that first week I'm now in my second week I haven't even planned anything last night when we were making our are blue apron you when I can have as you pulled out of container this much of carbs or give me this much it was really really makes things easy it makes things really brain free if you just
00:14:20can sit down and set it up ahead of time how big a portion is according to her to her plan and like at Leanne said you can watch it on from your smartphone to your iPod your tablet your iPad your and you don't have to let the beauty is It Liam's not done at the schedule class she's gets up dropped girls off has her first cup of coffee and does her beach body
00:14:57that you did that you got bigger problems and needing the 21 Day Fix she's going to be crushing it she's going to get down to 200 and 175 lb. That's what we got to get this
00:15:20at least going to be the 71 day fix anyway it really is fucking fantastic I use the the weight lifting one because quite honestly I obviously everyone knows I like running right now so I've been running a lot on the treadmill and then I go straight to beast mode and I and I just do I do abbreviated versions of this guy's work out but the idea that I've got his work out there for me is what I fucking base it off of so I'm going with you to Boston and I'll still be in the 21 Day Fix so I'm at that's going to be cool cool thing to talk about when I get back is how was it traveling right now and get a free trial membership if you text Burt Burt 230-3030 that's right you heard me correct you get a free trial membership when you text b e r t to 30 30 30 you get full access to the entire platform for free all the workouts all the nutritional information for
00:16:20free just text Bert to 30-30-30 Beachbody why be fat as fuck big does there why not be more attractive this podcast is also brought to you by ZipRecruiter if you're setting new goals for your business it is extremely difficult to reach them without the right people in your team and ZipRecruiter is transformed how you go about finding them
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00:19:38what happened was I got drunk in New York and I skipped over some ads and did the wrong add soy-free and then didn't read them the wrong ones so we had we were little backlogged today's podcast is a burner I called a burner cuz we had some cigars in the man cave I wasn't smoking cigars I just posted that no scars until my special cuz my voice is gone I really wanted a cigar and then I have two shows tonight and I'm probably not drinking tonight so I thought you know what time do you know well hello Georgia goes I go in Georgia you look to see what time I start my show is I thought it was at 7 and she goes no big boy 830 you Kevin Nealon Joe Rogan it starts reading off the list I go how do you know that too cuz I'm looking at Instagram it's going to be it's going to be the main rooms that hot that the
00:20:38alarms going to be destructive and Arch the showing the mandarins already sold out so that that means that you are is going to be sold out
00:20:46thinking that the comedy stores had a big resurgence
00:20:50right you'd be not only correct you'd be blind if you didn't know that they are they are they have I'll speak very candidly a day a guy named Adam by the way his one of the best podcasts I've ever listened to he should check Adam you get it it's he's got a podcast with our lady with Ari shaffir it's one of one of the best podcasts I've heard in 2017 and that is not hyperbole Adam has a very fascinating life story I grew up yeah I grew up in in LA or in the valley maybe and kind of got in with some bad kids but wasn't really all that bad and got sent out to Ohio or Santa Barbara to one of those like really fucked-up schools where they it's almost like it's almost like like boarding school boarding school but would like for like behavioral problem kids so they were stuff like X out where they couldn't speak to anybody know what to do
00:21:50and then have to sit on the table until they laughed like it was really fucking crazy I think I think like they end up killing some kids and they got caught killing kids in the school district but anyway. Anyway it's one of the best ever listen to I have some questions about, Stewart but Papa John's at the door in Georgia won't answer the door cuz we're not in the house
00:22:25Thomas podcast is Tom Rhodes radio smart Tom Tom Rhodes radio Smart Camp that's the name of it I'll go back to Adam in The Comedy Store in a second but
00:22:37Tom Rhodes radio Smart Camp I talked about it one of the best podcasts I've also ever listen to Tom Rhodes and Doug Stanhope this is before Squad casting was around really like no one's really doing it and Thomas doing it at the Forefront and it's an old one you can have to look for it but Tom Rhodes and Doug Stanhope and at the end they're so drunk they just end up singing a song together and it's like the most beautiful moment in podcasting I've ever heard
00:23:06he also want to mention this on there he doesn't enter view with kim.com kim.com is like this insane multi-billionaire Napster fucking file-sharing genius who lives in New Zealand who every government is after because he is just a just and I can't you call me know I'm if you don't know I'm just Googling but I'm going to fucking podcast with him one of those guys that is like
00:23:37he's the Protege size of the billhook Shannon generation he was starting who's an open microwave like a host in a feature when the Bill Hicks Kennison all those guys were doing him Stanhope Hotel all those guys were the same generation is one of the guys I'm in New York I'm I'm only doing this in case you don't know Tom Rhodes is but he was one of the guys I met in New York that I immediately knew who he was and I love his style of Duty does and they took off to you took off to go ahead lie under you want to ask me more questions about the bottom so he took off to answer them and got his own late-night talk show and then came back to the States states a misdemeanor brought so we just disappeared and will go off to sharmila poor and fucking Micronesia and do shows no one was doing comedy shows, go out there cuz he like traveling and recently he's been travelling non-stop posting on it is his Instagram and I've been following him and so I saw the news in La I texted I'm going to take your man
00:24:37Q Podcast tomorrow and he was like sure I'm going to Paris on Friday he's going to show in Paris at the
00:24:47theater Duluth theater Della Lou Friday's Friday January 29th so go check them out go there and tell him the machine sent you real quick before we enter this podcast the questions you coming by the way
00:25:02great looks really healthy to tell you that the podcast about on the podcast I won't I won't spoil it but an incident and it woke him up and he decided to quit doing drugs and drinking and he looks great he looks really great in that room on the podcast but he's really happy like
00:25:30like really happy he looks really grounded so funny I didn't party last night and so
00:25:37and I didn't party this weekend really and I was talking to Duncan about it I did it podcast with Duncan if you want that's on Duncan podcast family hour we were talking about not partying and how much fun it is not party and wake up and feel good when someone says I got you a drink and you're like oh shit
00:26:02okay and then you go until I'm done doing stand-up but the problem is you just get done doing stand-up and then there a lot of really interesting people around and you go everyone's having a cocktail maybe have a cocktail then you have a couple and then you come over the hill and then you get here in the whole family is asleep and you're like I'm not going to man cave and get online Newport other cocktail you light a cigar and then you hit a vape pen and then next thing you know it's fucking 8 in the morning and you're like I don't feel like getting up
00:26:37so, you store so why do you know what has happened that has causes resurgent Adam OK Google who is Adam to the is he a Booker he is the guy who books to groom nobody's know but nobody's nope he is I don't even know if atoms of a done comedy I wonder if he has I don't know I've never asked him I always am very quick to talk to you I have a hard time connecting with people so even as well as I know Adam and I've known fairly well I don't know a lot about him I heard him on that podcast with Ari and I was fucking blown away but I don't I don't think he does I don't think he was the thing though he was a workout in Tempe I met him there for the first time and then he he's on Norm Macdonald podcast so he's like normal kind of psychic and he is very funny so he could very easily probably do comedy but right now he's book
00:27:37in the club and it is the best it's ever been and nothing happened is that the sky Tommy left and Tommy was the dick I didn't know one like Tommy I get spots and I was like I'm TV show I'm not going to park cars you're not going to get here in the club you need to park cars need to work the door cuz I already work towards the clubs on National headline of a TV show that's definitely not going to happen he's like well then we'll know who do you think you are and I was like I'm talking to the wrong guy that's who I am and that's why I never really tried together a lot of us I think that just kind of looked at the stores like oh we're past working the door so we won't work. Club and then Adam came in a good Comics you work the club to that happened tell me left and then simultaneously are shot his special League last year or a couple years ago at the store and Rogen came out of the store for the first time to watch already taping of a special and after that
00:28:37I really want to come back and Rogan started coming back and I think Rogan was really the champion of the store he was the one that was fighting for all the comics he's the one that's kind of instilled a a family of family atmosphere with the comics that were on the same team there's no cattiness there's no bitchiness there's not one person getting all the good spots there's not one person bumping it on bum bum people all the time but no one's in there doing it as an ego boost because I'm not saying Rogan's policing it but we going to bump someone Rogan's going to end up he's at there every single night he's going to get pumped tonight no one's bumping Joe and I are just about 98% of the comics working he's always on stage she loves and he's doing three shows tonight there will do the belly room main room and or orange
00:29:37what's the Improv in the Laugh Factory doing a lot of the club's I think he's going back kind of really just invigorated that club and gave everyone in every one reason and I think Stan of Surgeons to question do you think it is I mean it is podcasting this hard for him it's kind of been reduced a lot of comics like Tom Rhodes to be able to don't know Tom Road force it in Paris going. I want to see comedy comedy Loft in Paris going what's it called the Arctic the Philadelphia living there they probably know who the podcast invisibilia podcast wow that's bizarre that's I mean that's like bizarre to me that someone would know who I am in Australia
00:30:38we're talking about going to London we would tour offer that work but I don't know before going to do tonight show me miss anything that's what's wrong with me I speak before I it's also what's good about podcast is get a jackass like me who tells you stuff before The Comedy Store and and I wish I could I'm not allowed to see comedy before I know you wasn't one of them just so you know
00:31:15I wasn't so I went to a show there and I thought this place is kind of a dump like I don't know if this is a dump I'm never coming back here that was years ago like what no I haven't cleaned it up I don't know about that but like the feeling the energy of it was a dump and then the bed bye bye but we don't you laugh yet when I was there I would like to tell you about that you walk in the door and it was just a pressing it was so depressing
00:31:49oh yeah it's a dark place it's got a Dark Soul it's got a really dark soul that used to be an old Mobsters joint until the end they say it's haunted and that they've been used to kill people in the basement so yeah it's that dark dark soul you I'm glad you recognize it cuz it is there but right now the Dark Souls the great place for people to work out material it's a tough Club sometimes I don't know our
00:32:16got a window looking out on the Sunset Strip you know by I don't I don't take that play slightly like when I go in I'm like focused on working I don't think on stage I have Nikon say is I understand...... But I'll bring a drink but I don't like I don't fuck around there it's a great great great Club Great location on Sunset Strip in a really great spot cuz I'm not going to 45 years old go out
00:33:05I just leave our kids here.
00:33:17It's like Master P Make Em Say uhh I love it I hope you guys have a beautiful day at work I hope this podcast carries you through I hope to see you on the road wherever I am no shots this year but I will definitely sit back and have a drink with you and if you want to bring me marijuana definitely feel free
00:33:43I thought I was going to get an objection to that Leanne I don't know alright coming out in February February 1st I like it I like it listen to all the episodes he's loving it was early. Like your bird can sing amazing interview like mine so it's just me talk to my friends it's going to be fun and I hopefully I'll be on the road maybe the first one I don't have maybe I hope you enjoy it have a great week my buddy stand up comedian World traveler podcaster soon-to-be author Tom Rhodes
00:34:49yeah the guy was whose Atlanta comic the video so girl posted it knows I saw the video and I was like oh shit but apparently I wasn't even heckling we're on just so you know the guy wasn't even heckling he was just unhappy with his bill what is one of those things I've heard this process slowly and it goes on the side had some interesting I mean I've I've deloused a few and I got a thing with bullies cuz I had two older brothers that beat the shit out of me constantly and so they were stronger than me and they could they really were sadistic torturers in there you know let's twist star little brother like a pretzel things and the one thing they could never top me on was
00:35:49verbally and with the tongue so I have this Talent of being able to push of a bully's button I have ins many career and I mean that there's a video I've got on YouTube Tom Rhodes crushing a Heckler Scottsdale Arizona couple years ago you know the guy wishes he was a UFC fighter and he had like a one of those outdated Affliction shirts and he had like barbed wire tattooed on his left bicep Maori tattoo he didn't understand on his right bicep. I had been on like 40 minutes I was you I'd chose to ignore these people and then like and then the guy couldn't be ignored and then he stands up if you only see just this part in the video but
00:36:49I felt like a matador and this is a bull that I thought this guy might have to fight this guy there's a certain combination of words that if you say to a certain type of man he's got no choice but to punch you in the face it's almost like you got what it in mathematical e and he's like I don't know how to no response but violence I don't have I have such a problem with the confrontation it's on the side like yeah but if you go slow it pops up I switch from confrontation that when I do get to the point where it becomes a conversation it goes very badly very quickly
00:37:36like I'm I'm so nice so nice so nice so nice and then by the time I've been the crowds already well past their fucking welcome for this person I had one I had one that I had one of the worst ones I work with a guy Roy Johnson out of Tampa we were in Atlanta at the Funny Farm
00:37:56Roy is featuring and a guy's got a Bluetooth headset in for the whole show and his chicks talkin Roy's it like 25 minutes and he just start decides on his last minute he's going to tear this guy up lights up this guy calls his wife a condo that's why Diamond gets off stage I heard none of it and I know what's up man
00:38:26fuck you took off so aggressive what did I do about Kim fuck him I'm like oh my God it was just one of those like where you stepped in shit but
00:38:46yeah apparently that guy didn't have a problem with the comedian wasn't getting heckled I think he was drunk and didn't like his bill that was scary with this end I got to give props to the Steven something to see brown and I didn't like the way he was like jumping back and away from the guy was very skillful skillful he wasn't an attack mode he was in avoid mode and you got hit one from your arm did you know I didn't see that
00:39:19I just started following him on Instagram so I can pull it up pretty quickly now some of the best posts ego driven posts right there it's one of the few accounts where ego is the last thing spoken minds think alike I'm posting in the last like 6 months have been incredible for me I've Dino Paris Switzerland the old theater like 350 seeds that's awesome but also I was in Shanghai I went to Mongolia and went to Tokyo I thought about you a lot cuz I did that tour and I cannot find this fucking thing you were in Sydney
00:40:19I know the show is on
00:40:24look at Halston trying to Jamie up no this is his apology letter don't worry about this the fight area God damn
00:40:32yeah okay that could have been dangerous told him if they could have killed him every good thing that the big heavy metal bottom part fell off when he swung otherwise I could have been murdered I guess right now is when half of it's gone all the time and where is the security nobody is coming and I had this I've had a couple incidences incidents I'm sure you have to yeah I remember once years ago RoosterTeeth feathers and in Sunnyvale dislike biker guy jumped on stage he was drunk and he just took the microphone out of my hand it was uncomfortably left and then I was like how many stabbed in the chest would it have taken for anyone in this club to approach the stage and tell the guy that
00:41:32to come off do you want to see do you want to see security and its finest are there is it in Seattle this is I was just in Phoenix live and stand up live in Phoenix I thought they were watch watch this we want to see the security guard fucking own a mother fucker watch this so
00:41:59I'm getting ready to do a toast of some sort and fan besides I just fall off a waterfall by the way the two days before
00:42:08what's this guy
00:42:10Ben decides it's his beer on stage and he likes to drink
00:42:18look at that wow fucking hot that was great right I was planning on doing I think you just wanted to drink a beer but man that guy fucking grabbed him and mushroom off stage I'm out of things and out the door there was a fight in Tacoma this weekend at one of my shows the problem I think I'm running into is a people get so fucked up yeah sometimes on my late shows that they they ruin their nights if they're not ever experienced yeah do that to yourself like it let you let it let it be a fun night I don't fucking ruin it what do you think you're bringing out that big heavy boozer now I'll bring a lot of big birds of fungi what happens if it's just like a cool I think the same level
00:43:18I'm going like that burns been drinking since 2 in the afternoon I'm going to fucking goes hard as Birds going to go and then they get out there and they said the big problems we have on late shows not to understand my Late Show tickets but like is people throw up people getting get kicked out they get way too rambunctious they start interacting like towards the last
00:43:40feel like last 15 minutes of my set last I do like an hour 20 on stage select during the last 10-15 minutes people are like Tom is fat tell me about Tom what to do compound like staring just like cuz I was like when the reason Steve Martin stopped performing what would yell out a wild and crazy guy and then his catch phrases and then Chappelle had that problem after the Chappelle show people would get all fucked up and go to the show just Yelp not as bad probably as they ever had it definitely but it happened on The Late Show Saturday hear some of my apologize to me and the audience is it got so crazy I don't think it's fine it's totally fine it's not like the first 45 minutes I'm doing is smooth sailing
00:44:36you know first hour hour for 58 minutes smooth sailing it's when the machine story it when I'm getting ready to tell the machine story that shift starts unraveling and they're like once it they're all y'all new machine and you're just like all right I'm going to tell it don't worry something always strange happens when we play this song
00:44:58Mick Jagger said during Sympathy for the Devil at Altamonte I just got in stabbed in the front something so now it's time to go into the machine store and I guess I get not that I I mean like obviously in the only one that listens I don't mind telling the story I don't have a problem walking in but there are times while me and her in the story and I'll do things in her interest myself and I think people find that a time for like interactive but it's not that bad it's not as bad as Chappelle ever was I remember we're at El I remember being on the road with the tell during the Insomniac. Girls are growing up on stage and just pulled her tits out and guys would come up with on the stage of shots and you just be like oh this isn't even comment any more opportunity to watch one of the greatest Comics do comedy
00:45:54and put and I think that's why he took a step back and was like
00:45:59no more Insomniac no more Road I'm in New York I've got money I'll be fine I don't know
00:46:06you know better than I would
00:46:08but as far as what to tell
00:46:10yeah you know much but I know I saw just even on the street hanging out with the tail people coming up and everywhere you know me David's like everybody that you know it wasn't just a picture wasn't enough now the person has to have a shot with the man then do you know it was exasperatingly that you dodged that bullet because you but you but you weren't like that you weren't the guy that like people wanted to watch you speak
00:46:43well I mean I think for years I buy I was referring to your drinking * 4 years I was The Party Guy and no one was like yeah and I always enjoyed hanging out with fans that was your again my God hey I'm in your town I have nothing to do. Married that's cool you know I'd like let's hang out all night and many times I do go you want to come over and yeah why not I like to hang out with people who are my fans in it it's it it's so easy to affect someone's life for the better someone just loves you they been a fan for years to even just spending 10-15 minutes talking with him after the show means a lot to me by means I remember when I was a fan and I remember to I feel like going to the gym to myself right now
00:47:43I remember and that's the thing I remember like I always return emails when fans write me because when I was a teenager I used to write Eddie Murphy I used to ride David Letterman and I remember it would have meant the world to me had a written me back just one sentence hey thanks kid u17 you want to be a comedian I say go for it I'm roads are we know what I'm saying anything obviously I think I was a fan of your other friend of yours but like I've always it was a fan to remember the night and I and I say this in as a smaller Thing by remember the night I hung out with you the bag in and drink and I know and for me but for me that I do I still don't that's not lost on me like I want I want do shots anymore I told everyone no more shots because I was like this this is no purpose in a shot I don't see the purpose of that I don't need to be that fucked up and I'm the one that has to do with in the morning if you want to hang out
00:48:43any drink for free come grab me have a drink and post up next to me I'll talk about whatever you want to listen to podcast comedy I love comedy
00:48:56where I go
00:48:59I think it's because I'm a fan first comic suck it like I didn't get into comedy going I have something beautiful to give the world I felt very lucky that I could figure out how to do comedy and figure out how to get last I don't let you know in and I think some people go no no no no this was my calling leave me alone I do what I do on stage I don't want to speak to you which is totally fine it's just not my Approach To those people exist and I met and you were like you want to be a comedian and I said if what was it if if you buy me a drink I'll tell you everything I know and I'll tell you everything I need to know about comedy tonight from like meeting fans and stuff like it was a young comedian who like is a fan like I would have told you everything I knew had you not bought me the beer
00:49:59I think that's also I think stand-up said that one time you don't pay for comedy class just find me at a bar and you don't even need to buy me a drink just sit next to me I love talking about comedy but when I think that that's one of those things that I add that is lost on a lot of younger younger comedians or or maybe people get successful really quick really young they feel like
00:50:23it's it's almost like an anti I see this an arrogant sometimes of like like young American comedian to they think they know it all and then also they don't watch other comedians respect you should watch everyone on the bill see what they're doing I mean where do you have to go flex it's very helpful Rogan one time today just so you know it was some of the jokes that other guy and then I was like off thanks I was like I was like a little different but they're close enough to drop it thank you and so I started going like that so I watch the super special if I had I would have delivered within my first 8 minutes of my special one of the punchlines he delivers at like 10 minutes and it is special and I would have been like
00:51:23oh my God people be like he's doing his act cuz we're such good friends that's true let me know you got to be aware of what people are doing on Patton oswalt's new special he opens with kind of the same thing Marc Maron opened on his thing about Trump and Twitter and like I'm afraid to look at it like oh my God what's happening it's not the exact same joke I wouldn't have opened my special with it if I seen it and I think Patton is one of the greatest I love you and I love you know what I'm saying but just to say I like watching young Comedians and I like watching Open Mic nights like to know what not to do yeah one of the greatest books I've ever read is Miles Miles Davis is autobiography and he says it's not important to note that you play it's important to note that you don't play
00:52:22yeah Tina be up there like don't them hack shit and think oh my God this is so brilliant yeah it's sometimes and I think another thing people do as they forget that all your ideas come from something else until sometimes you have an idea that came straight out of someone else's special and you just forgot that you didn't think of it and you plug it in and then you like I know you saw that special too I don't think you stole it I think it's parallel thought after you and heard someone and said I think it's important to kind of go through I'm going through tomorrow I'm going to go through and watch much specials in just to make sure that the hour I'm working on his is different I think I think it's also you know you're probably one of the best at this but
00:53:09you write jokes a lot of times and it I could be wrong and you might see this differently you write jokes that no one else could write does that make sense that's the best compliment you can give me like you're like I strive for that but when I when I write I was telling us to this comment I was working with this weekend and he was like Oh no I got this joke about this this this and I was like I think we should really work for you then I was like you have to go through all those jobs that's part of the process of learning how to write learning how to get through this I said try to get to a place I use you Stanhope and
00:53:49and it tells not a good example but it runs the risk sometimes those does anyone have this joke you don't really run that risk I tried it with my good jokes I don't run that risk you like we were at one of my really good material I go I know what's right in that I don't got to worry about that it's so authentically me you know and I think
00:54:11to go back to what we were saying the very beginning
00:54:14what I met you as a fan it wasn't that it wasn't that I it wasn't so much that I loved your stand up I did obviously it was that one once again it was like this is someone is making a tangible Hughes from Florida like I'm from Florida I inventory guys could you stand up there and was like I can't do what he does and then the fact that you gave me time I was like I would give someone time you know I think that that's lost in some comedians where they go yeah I'm doing things great like no brag about with a type of joke that right and you're like yeah everyone was right. Joke you're missing the point of it earned that from I mean I think I would have been a nice guy which I would say you are you and I are in the same category I don't think a lot of people have a lot of shit to talk about us
00:55:14a big factor is in comedy is if people want you around if your a fucking asshole and you talk down to people or you're a jerk to the staff or other comedians to Deb the people usually don't want you back but Bill Hicks when I was a young comedian was always wonderful and had all the time in the world for me to ask him questions and I asked me about Bill Hicks in one thing that's often not talked about him is how he really loved other Comedians and even if you are young comedian it kind of felt like you were in the same fraternity and I like that a lot I really respect that above that me I thought I put that right up there with talent and I hate when you see comedians who don't feel that way you know
00:56:14I think it's
00:56:17it's so funny because
00:56:22I think when I was younger I was oblivious to it then I got like when I was younger I was oblivious I was happy that anyone would speak to me then you get to a place where you're like you see like younger Comics LeapFrog you and you go fuck that guy then you get to a place where like other day they're back where they had to start everyone gets to the same place with the same base how good your base is determine how good you are the comic 1 year 2 years when we blow it out of the water and then we're all going to go right back down we're going to tour or numbers that you can get that phone call from your agent listen numbers weren't that great last year they want to offer you a little laugh so you want to take it and you got to go back to okay yeah that's why I just what I do I'm rebuilding and I'm going back to clubs I did theaters now I'm going back clubs okay I'm going back to be clubs and I think that some of those people think it'll never happen if I think the older we own the business start going
00:57:14the cycle was just like just like Woodforest sometimes I got to burn to the ground to rebuild you know Patrice was the one that told me that he was like
00:57:23when I got my first deal he was like is that I feel bad for you cuz you don't know what your basis yet but when you find it realize that's just where you should be right now I was like I would never go no he's just jealous and then when all the TV went away I was like I should have listened to you say one time is elephant that I love Patrice years ago I got to share an apartment with Patrice for like 2 weeks and then a money to be a fly on that wall so great because you know he's making fried chicken and all this wonderful food and it was really like having a Southern Kitchen while I was in Scotland it was great with them for a month in Scotland to or after or before or after
00:58:23and remember we went shopping and then he like bought all this stuff blood pudding and eggs you taught me how to make an omelet but he would make sure he would remember going out to eat would make a meal at all the time every day I don't want to be but I don't want millions of fans I want a hundred thousand hardcore fans we're going to buy everything I put out and support me and I was like wow that's that's it I never thought of it that way just to have a hundred thousand people who love you so much they will come and see you when you're in their town the by your new album yeah I remember hearing one time you needed 25,000 2500 fans to make a living
00:59:18they're like we have 2,500 fans 2500 legit fans you can make a living as stand up and I was like okay and then when I write my book that's on my bucket so like 1200 copies I was like I can't make a living at that first week I was like what did you book come out for the 2009 book for like 7 years now and I'm trying to I want to get it published this year okay have you talked to Fitzsimmons about it no it's probably the best inside I've ever had I went the route of getting a Publix I know and I know the guy that publish my book listen to my podcast unique you need great guy was amazing guy amazingly helpful in the process
01:00:05But ultimately
01:00:08just it's it's almost like you got to have a hit record in order to make money but I think the way you are to buy the it's a book on LeapFrog you in the next thing I think Doug at that TV show no sure first book my horizontal life was like came out and no one really bought it by the way I'm guessing I think I'm telling the story I don't know if I really know the story no one really bought it but Leno louder so we had to run like all the time and she would promote the book through them know she had a few good appearances and all the sudden became a best-seller and the nightly Proctor feel like there is something to be said for having like a traditional publisher butts Fitzsimmons went the other publishing were out and I think you made a lot more money on it and so would be the other publishing self-publish and
01:01:01own doll and owned all of it if you don't all of the like so I think he made more money and he didn't audiobook which I would have if I had been smart if I had self publish it or not sign the bill for the audiobook I would have made a lot of money the audio book sold Corollas audiobook it was like one of the bigger audio books I want it when it came out and it's because I couldn't read out loud so I fucked up through the entire thing I can you read out loud I have a hard time we having a little dyslexic so the whole time I was just fucking ruin sentences and then reread them and then curse and yell at fucking throat that's a funny audiobook a funnier all your book and it is my dad said to me
01:01:47what is cot damn fucking but I'm a fucking idiot like and so but the Fitzsimmons a good one to talk to with that but you're someone like Stanhope where I go yeah I'm dying to read your book as soon as Stanhope without a buck I go I'm in like I'm buying the best stories traveling the world and all these epic things that have happened to me it's the problem is I've already written the first draft but it's just so much that I'm trying to to whittle it down and I got a few friends helping me and right you know good friend of mine wanted Pulitzer Prize if you years ago Gilbert King I've known for years I guess you'll be spending giving me some some advice about how to measure of the great book I really did and so just about finding what's the story
01:02:47to guide your your your ship of your plot do you find you find your artistic Spirit has
01:02:56awoken stay the same or shifted since you stopped losing I feel like I'm a different person and I bring up Miles Davis again though it remarkable thing about Miles Davis was he changed his style completely like nine times in his career not comparing myself to Miles Davis but it just popped in my head or comparison because you know I had I had long hair for for for like 10 years and then when I moved back from Europe I was wearing tailored suits and I'm glasses always been a heavy partier
01:03:39life of the party and you know I busted my head open and Philadelphia and decided to stop drinking and doing drugs and I just feel like it's interesting going through this book and all that I've done and different like we know Wildman episodes and and then different things ever happened in my life I just think that I'm headed at a higher Plateau seem happier like in just talking through your Instagram want to see your Instagram Youfit you look like you're living
01:04:19you look like you got that sounds so silly you look in your Instagram videos that you post you you're like a guy that got out of prison does that make sense that's a lot of sense I mean I feel like you know I love my wife she's amazing you guys are great I've gotten a lot of confusion out of my life you know when you're single and you're whatever in your Gene own all this and then as a comedian and you're traveling she's artistic she's a photographer and we both love books and knowledge you know I'm making these knowledge nuggets videos all things comedy I'm going to we're going to start going to make some animated versions of these knowledge nuggets get I like really get off on traveling to different countries and learning you really love that God that's one at that. That's like like performing at the fact that I stopped drinking and and and
01:05:19and doing hard drugs now I got back to where I was when I was 17 years old when I started doing comedy were like comedies the drug we're just being on stage in like you know performing jokes that I've written is the drug but also one of the things did one of my strongest narcotics is to travel to different countries and like study like I'm obsessed with the French Revolution right now so before I went to Mongolia I read jangus Khan's biography so I so I got all these grade facts about Genghis Khan like I opened the show in and Mongolia apparently everyone in the world is somehow related to Jenga sconce did family hello cousins I told him I I had just finished reading the biography of James Caan in under the Jenkins rule
01:06:19no individual was ever held responsible for a mistake or an error it was always the community as a holes responsibility to have the show doesn't go well tonight it's all of our faults just like I was in Tokyo before that I've been obsessed with Samurai Warriors my whole life so I got lots of stuff about Samurai and just just looking to see if I think you've been to mine my house I've got you know over 2,000 books I'll be right I would love reading you know which I love reading was great and like the boys go move the traveling must be so difficult not much my favorite thing about the time flies for me on airplanes cuz I'm sitting there knocking out a book while I'm waiting for the flight or sitting on the you-know-what 13-hour flight to Asia or something like that in high school I think it started in high school really it was after I think it was because I did
01:07:19go to university that's why I started reading so ferociously because I I didn't want it I didn't want my friends that I grew up with to grow further than me and then all a lot of these good friends of mine who went to University after they got out of University they never read ever again cuz they like hated reading and look at it like a chore you looked at it as love it like it. I lived in San Francisco for 7 years the City Lights Bookstore I refer to that as the University Bookstore of my life really are there so many great book stores in I love going to used book stores has a place in Vancouver called the macleods which is amazing my favorite book store in the world is in Galway Ireland it's called Charlie Burns and like just go in and spend like $100 every time I go there I'll spend like a hundred euros and like the books I buy
01:08:19what fuel me for like the next year you know I wish I could I wonder if it's cuz I think I need glasses but I sit to read a book and I I find it a lot like a warm blanket if I'm on the road and I'm like not boozing which as like I'm getting ready for this hour so it's been a lot lately I find myself going like I started the documentary or I got it I got a book cover the stupid book but
01:08:51I want to read a book at when I was in I wanted to read a book about imperialism about cuz I know that that's like any I know you know this but like one of the things a lot of British Comics talk about is how imperialistic the British Empire was the book about the British Empire when I started reading it and I just my brain swims I get overwhelmed and I just start daydreaming and then I'm like I'm not even fucking reading I might as well put the book down just a drink want me to happen to me if I have a book doesn't grab me in the first 30 pages I'll put it down really I mean it might not be your fault that might be the the writer. I'm sure it's in my my my baguettes it's called Paris in the terrorist and Stanley Loomis I think it's and it's
01:09:51basically three chapters the first is the assassination of Marat so I don't know if you can or if you want to but give me I don't really know anything about the French Revolution
01:10:02yeah that would you how would you summarize it for a dummy does it have anything to do with the Renaissance the writers
01:10:13Voltaire and Rousseau had written books in the enlightenment people started to realize did you know they've been Kings and Emperors and the Catholic Church ran everything and people started to realize you know hey man those people aren't fucking special they're just human beings and I have a dick and that guy poops just like everybody and then people started talking and realizing hey why do we got to give money to the priest to get Devin and maybe there is no heaven and people of the Enlightenment 1700 so I mean it's the it starts in the 16 hundreds and then the wheel started coming off the vehicle in the 17 hundreds and the French Revolution started out with no Bowl
01:11:08ideas and then there were bloodthirsty thugs like Murat and who stood up the crowd and brought all these like gutter people who were murderers and where were raping women and and killing people and stealing things in the French Revolution turn really ugly is that Maria Antoinette it was her husband was Louis XVI and the
01:11:44the word ghetto guillotined but even if the players who got the French Revolution and French Revolution rolling they ended up getting their heads that was stabbed to death in his bathtub by this woman Charlotte corday from con France in the north Normandie and she had never been to Paris before this young 19 year old girl got it in her head that this guy was screwing up and she was correct and she had read all these things about Rome and the ancient Greeks and she saw herself is the person who probably should go straighten this out and then she went so there's this party that Geraldine party and they all had to flee they were in charge when the French Revolution started and so they started getting their heads cut off Murat had his own newspaper and he's writing all this shit and he had a terrible skin disease he had to to bathe in the sky
01:12:44Copper Pot everyday for a relief from his lesions and boils on my god really terrible human being so there's a famous painting by dawid and he's sitting in my bag because I did my bookmark I'm using is the I wish I was a really curious painting and some Murad is he's in his bathtub and he's got his a paper and a pen in his hand and I thought I always thought while you guys must have been writing a letter or something but
01:13:17Charlotte corday to the gym and Dean's had fled to come so she was turned away the first day by Mirage people in the second day she came and said I have information on the girondins in Khan and he said let her in and he got a pen and a piece of paper and said I'll have them all Guillotine by the end of the week and that's when she stuck a butcher knife in his chest and murdered him and she was just so you know when I seen your Noble girl from con who thought that these bad people in taking over the idealism of what the French Revolution should have been about and she was correct and what happened to her she was guillotined they loves cutting people's heads off its really interesting reading about the French Revolution now because like you think wow it's funny to think the people who can differ politically would feel so strongly that they would cut the other
01:14:17people's heads off and you look at the climate that are countries in now and it's like yeah I can easily see if you know circumstances were right all those people in that party let's cut off all their heads so there was there's a there's a French Canadian author Margo to be after I don't know her name but she got in the lot of hot water for saying that what's going on with the me-too movement in the intelligent Price is Right still I got no pictures can I say one last thing I'm reading about donten now we was you would love to be like really forceful guy like really great leader I am I think you might identify with him but he was ultimately sent to the guillotine also Emily stepped onto the platform of the guillotine
01:15:17the Executioner be sure to hold my head up for the people it's well worth seeing
01:15:29you going to be get your head cut off you got to say something cool when you get up on the platform should be a book I'm sure it's out there famous last words I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure it's out there but one of my favorite executions ever and I've only seen a few I've only seen this one maybe I take that I must be out of all the executions is Saddam Hussein's
01:15:52it's a fucking word walked in told him I was like and I remember thinking when I saw that I was like I was like I would not have handled it that way I would have been like I guess we'll never find out where the treasure is hahaha part of the podcast for the chickens lay an egg good because you ear you grew up in Florida also I'll never forget I was in I think I was in 8th grade or 7th grade at Jackson Heights Middle School in Oviedo Florida when Ted Bundy was executed yeah they made an announcement over the intercom the principal made an announcement that this
01:16:52the Florida had just executed Ted Bundy and we were at 12 years old and the whole school clapped and I've always do I don't know if that happened at your school but I always thought that was really interesting that they interrupted a day of children learning to announce did the statehood of Memorex remember to definitely they were talking about on the radio going into school and they were like I want to say they did something in our school like turn the lights on and off like a shortage like which is probably ten times more
01:17:29I remember where I was when the shuttle blew up oh I remember that the Via I remember I remember being outside misses but no scratches or Latin teacher she's some nachos on the side for a dollar you can get it nachos probably $0.25 now that look like what I want a dollar bill like $0.25 to get nachos so it is like are like three periods and we have in their mission
01:17:51and she'll open her class door have a nacho stand sitting out her glass door and everyone will buy bananas nachos and I remember waiting in line for nachos and then they like the shuttle just blew up and then she opened her things she had a TV and she turned on the TV and everyone Center class Cloud washed and then and being like what is 87 right 8485 when the shuttle blew up yeah I had to be no I think it was I was I was out of school I was in 6th grade 7th grade and older
01:18:28what is it home because I had gotten out of high school
01:18:34and I remember I was staying with a friend on his couch and queens and I've I saw it on television. Oh
01:18:4586 yeah. That makes it cuz I graduated high school in 85 show it was one of my first trip to New York City sitting on his couch in Woodside Queens and I took the subway into the City and I couldn't believe everybody was acting like it was a normal day
01:19:08I just I was like I'm looking around like my God don't these people realize did the space shuttle blew up it was where I grew up in Florida in Oviedo you can see the space shuttle go up in the distance and we would all go sit on the stand out on the you know on the grass and we would we you could see it go up in the distance to the the smoke cloud and I was taught that was like such a cool thing about growing up in Central Florida to see the space shuttle grab so it was a huge event and I mean I remember like you know I always knew that the astronauts names and things like that like when I first went to Holland I had him on my late night talk show and I became friends with wobu locals who was the first Dutchman in space and I remember the first woman in space in the first African American in space
01:20:08is this was like such a big deal growing up in Florida so it just blew me away that these people on the subway weren't crying or something Crystal McCullough yeah that was the teacher who they sent up in space and I remember that was that was the first I was the person that you know all the jokes were about though cuz you hear jokes about the space shuttle after that everyone had every class had the jokes I can't remember now my number when I went back to Florida right after that I member a club owner saying to The Comedians if any of you make a joke about the space shuttle you'll never work here again and I've always thought about that in different times when a tragedy or something will happen and there's always one little snarky asshole of thinks you know whatever I want which is true but you know certain places I was in Las Vegas right after that that mass shooting really and I was playing at the MGM like
01:21:08a block from where it happened and you know just out of being classy and have them have been having good manners why bring up something that you know is going to upset everyone have a joke I don't have it like I can't figure out if I'm going to use it or not I would joke about 9/11 which I think enough times password you can theoretically tell in my head I was like yeah joke about 911 but I was performing in governors in Long Island last two like two weeks ago or Wednesday and I got to the place where I'd say that you remember they're still good morning I'm sure they're okay they're they're dealing with it but I don't think they want to hear in my show tonight so funny one of my buddies at the body is producing my special was like
01:22:02mention to me a couple jokes I don't think you know what they sound like I was like really he's like yeah you can you making fun of deaf people a lot like it really was a guy I mean just more than I think you would normally make fun of deaf people and he goes to just seems really anti-death in your act I went and I love that people I mean it meaning like from a comedy standpoint making a deaf person laugh it's so much more enjoyable because they don't know what they sound like so it's a real unbridled after so I don't I would never want to mock that I've had the opportunity were adept couple were fans my TV show came to my show and I got them laugh and wind up going out and having pieces at Lou Malnati's the next day and and I was like so I had this joke but it you know you never gets like you tell Jody it's so close to the forest you don't realize what it what it is anymore the new onset of that made it work the first couple times he is lost on you and you just go to the thing that you thought was the hammer you know and and so who made me rethink
01:23:02okay I'll work on that this weekend cuz I got wow I didn't even see that happening but yeah I just because I felt like
01:23:12importing is like if you do that there maybe you shouldn't it on your special maybe like maybe they're going to watch it too maybe like I'm not that guy I'm not Doug you know yeah I don't like who I love with Doug does I love watching Doug you stand up but I'm not him and I don't like I don't like the shrapnel that Doug does not notice like Dunkin say a joke someone gets upset and doesn't register to me you know I'm way too sensitive I go I really didn't mean for you to have a bad time yeah but
01:23:44I don't know like I had a joke. Up that did ended with it was basically a probe black lives matter joke and I thought
01:23:59some racist people might misconstrue the meaning of it so I stopped doing it you know but the my whole point was that we should start and I spoke the words that we should prosecute these cops who keep killing unarmed black people and but still and that was the point of the joke even though there was you know some silliness about
01:24:25condiments to set it up but I stopped doing it yeah I had a joke where the people to think I'm one of the bad people
01:24:36I wish I had that is exactly what I try to avoid cuz I go not that not that I care about like
01:24:45it's just it's like I'm not doing my job properly and I am not and I'll work it out I'll figure it out but I'm not going to figure it out in that time frame so I'm going to I'm going to pull it off at the fire for a little bit it's not ready to serve I got a joke about that about me and this black guy in airport bar and a middle eastern guy walks in and then the black guy says to me I hope that motherfukers on my plane and then my my check was it a true story and his true feelings too sentiment but my joke was like
01:25:21that is like he's being racist to me like with me how does he know my racism stopped at Middle Eastern people like if I'm white and I am racist with you as soon as I am I hate across-the-board and this one guy came up to me and was like hey man my racism doesn't stop the Middle Easterns either and I was like that that's what I'm saying I'm saying oh never mind so I had to rework at 9 different ways but then at the end I was just like a totally turned into the fact that this guy was being racist and I complied so then in in in actuality I guess I'm racist to we're all Races but I guess it's all just kinda was like I'll figure it out one day it's just not right now you know everything so fucking volatile I mention something about it
01:26:13but like it's it's okay it's almost like an Impulse like I can't I can't stop I got to this point where I have the others
01:26:23this fucking hockey bit but I say it and then I and then I just go I just end up talking about Kevin Spacey I can't help it I think I think sometimes when you tell me anything about this thought I did part in a joke ride say the teacher was hot as shit he definitely worked out and everyone laughed cuz it's obviously and then I had to stop saying it cuz it might have I thought we're never going to have true progress until that's not humorous it shouldn't be humorous of the guys gay and I know that I shouldn't be this should be funny that a guy is gay like that's not funny but I'm saying it and it's getting a laugh so I'm forwarding the concept that it's silly that I would sleep with another man and so I had to stop saying that it bothered me that I would say it and it would get a laugh cuz I go to progress is when I go he really worked out and he definitely work out there was like
01:27:25cuz I had a great joke about Samurai in Japan then one of my favorite books is haga Kure The Way of the Samurai is it is written like the 13th century is ancient like 1 in the words of the Ancients one should make every decision within the space of seven breaths think about that
01:27:5727 Bretz is a long time you should make every decision
01:28:03in the space of seven breaths when white when writing a letter one should imagine that the recipient will hang the letter as a hanging scroll about lug Samurai should conduct himself a person of little Merit goes around making trouble with all a person who is settled I forget exactly what it is but I always love a person of little Merit goes around making trouble with all but anyway when I talked about
01:28:37like in Japan that you how much I Love The Way of the Samurai this book haga Kure and then while I was in Japan I learned all these new things about samurais that I never knew Samurai would test their swords by cutting people in half they often randomly killed people for fun through a wood shoot dogs with arrows for sport it was
01:29:03a lot of Samurai had
01:29:07sex with young men and it was encouraged a lot of the older Samurai would Mentor young Samurai and it was not only allowed it was encouraged that they had sex with the young men that they mentored an important word in Samurai is seppuku you probably heard of it that's the act of a samurai felt that he had done something shameful or made a mistake he would commit suicide by plunging his own sword into his stomach and killing himself I love gay people but they can be so dramatic sometimes sad so that's great I like you know I don't think that I I think it's kind of cool that there was different. If there were gay Samurai I like that joke much better than mine
01:30:07I thought the joke you were going to do was 7 brass and then I'll suck his dick you think the Saddam Hussein joke is hilarious you should do that that's the one that's
01:30:32that's funny
01:30:36that could have been the answer to male Massage Envy in Los Angeles they could have just brought that Saddam box to Los Angeles man are you are you have you been abroad for the old meat hold me to think I've been traveling but all over the world and is it coming up over there no no but in France they have the me to hashtag me to his inspired I think it's out your pig is the is the is the version they're doing in friend really is so different in Europe that it is in the States but I know I mean what was the guy the French guy that raped the the made in New York City remember that and he's yeah and he is now in Russia no I don't know what happened to that guy
01:31:30what was his name
01:31:33but no that's the the me-too thing is is everywhere I mean in Uno
01:31:41I like the dialogue it opens I like that I like stuff that make that forces people to question themselves their behavior and listen to other people I like that I have no problem of yours really young I used to have a joke that I will always and never would I like political correctness I like the I like that or allowing people to feel more like I feel everyday as a privilege white male I feel pretty fucking awesome everyday like I don't get followed around the store and I don't have no one smacks me in the ass no one whistles at me I'm probably you know everyone should feel like that everyone there's no reason a woman should go to work and feel like I fucked red work and go this is going to be a fucking long there's no I don't know anyone who doesn't understand
01:32:41a big thing for me that did it highlights just something that
01:32:51really irritates irritates the shit out of me in any form is Bad Manners I mean I hate Injustice that's a big thing and you can see that in my, do you always talk about some things that I think they're just unjust and I think it's just people not having good manners and the you know the sexual harassment in all the you know that a lot of the the me two things you know people really having Bad Manners I think there's I think there is like pulling your dick out in jacking off in front of somebody that's not going to matter the gambling you look Smiley DeFranco then yeah you guys are Brianna that's what a great
01:33:51where is the period of my life where I became like a like I think the other my other side my on my feminine side opened on their first are doing comedy
01:34:00and I think probably because the nicest people to meet in the business of the time of women like women, for always Pleasant Terrace Illinois just how you doing good morning my favorite comedians I think she's comedy in the way she's evolved I thought her last special was brilliant it's phenomenal the craft of delivering and you know sucker punch in the element of surprise just arriving is is exceptional I think she's phenomenal I wish I'm going to do a little bit of Chelsea Handler phase where I'm like a little obsessed with her or not obsessed but like I just got upset with Chelsea I think she's I think she's smart I wish you still did stand-up I understand if you give me an activist now I think that a lot of women are starting to fear that way yeah Alyssa Milano's one of my favorite human beings anything goes down with anything
01:35:00can I go watch Alyssa Milano's take despite the fact that she started her career on who's the boss she really isn't intelligent well-fought person who shares a very compassionate Viewpoint with things and I like that
01:35:17but yeah I like I think the women were always really cool to me and I don't forget who it was but I need to Franco this is badass I was also I was always thought the ship but and I went to a big Ani DiFranco face holds record label is the righteous bait and the symbol is this woman that I always loved that I actually sent her my first CD that I put out myself really hot sweet ass and emailed it to her production companies are righteous babe in Buffalo New York and I first put it out and I don't know if you ever think about putting out a comedian on your label but I would like you to consider me anywhere. I never heard back from her I wonder how she's got it she was our age
01:36:17when she was making music right
01:36:20the current girls like hurting ladies who like literally still making music in New Orleans
01:36:27I just saw Amy Schumer video post probably most dialed into Instagram grams worth in your loving me that's what I was going to say I feel like I'm posted these in earlier when you brought this up like I went to the world's largest gangis Khan statue it's like an hour and a half out of Ulaanbaatar which is the capital of Mongolia and they don't have highways man was a two-lane road it was like some cows got into the road and then all the sudden there's a traffic jam and then they're not called Yurts does round white 10 * gold diggers the travel with those right kind of permanently in the area so they can you go out of the city and there's a few in the city but it as you go out into the country you you see the girls everywhere and there was a point where
01:37:27it was like am I going to make it back
01:37:31in time to do the show and the comedian who was driving was like just hauling ass and it's freezing was like in the 30s and we made it there in the Statue it's on my Instagram and then and then I did a podcast about Genghis Khan and I used this is the photo for the for the episode it's a beautiful silver statue like a like aluminum silver like a Coors Light can the statue itself and it was at Sunset when I got up there the platform is on top of the horse's head and this beautiful shot of the sunset under jangus cohn's arm and I'm on the thing I like I think I got like
01:38:13you however I got they know 43 likes or something but had it been a photo with a famous friend of mine that I saw at The Comedy Store I would have gotten like you know how the fuck 2000 likes that's so interested in something interesting about Instagram I am like I get very into it like I'll post a video on the ocean I should have done a better cover for that I should have done a better filter I want you to post that at 2 p.m. as opposed to like there's not. If you live in LA that if you post you get the most amount of use mostly because
01:38:50the majority of our English-speaking fans are awake at the same time Australia if you post I think of you post at 4 or 5 p.m. in La time then the majority of English-speaking people are awake you can Australia England music for three england-australia the states every or like that and so I like I noticed that when I was started to tour Australia I was like oh I should I post these want to stroll he's awake as opposed to win the state of matter of anyone the state Seasons promo videos yeah like I should post it when Australia's wide awake I had to take I took
01:39:37I'm taking the I'm taking the first I've taken most of January off to focus on my book and I had to my wife made me take Instagram off my phone which is great so like I'm not distracted I'm not looking at Instagram man you know hardcore favorite things to do is just don't want to go with you because you travel so much and those your minute bit of informations were great and knowledge nuggets nuggets I was like it is what I think that platforms meant for as opposed to just pictures of your food I like following Chef the show me cool food I like Chef to kind of break down food for me a little more like but for the most part yeah like I want
01:40:29that night and people who can navigate the stories really well like I like good stories I like a story that has a beginning middle and end I like the stories that have arcs and then or or as far as photo photo know the stories are you back on Instagram yet I posted a couple things yesterday so I was giving him so this is the stories is those top circles up there oh yeah yeah yeah so like I mean those are videos videos they're like Sebastian
01:41:04Dane Adam Richman sklar Brothers I just followed this girl Alex Alex Alexi wasser wasser Duncan Trussell Tom in the followers like she does really a stories so it's like all cool I found this guy Adam Greentree who I met through Rogan is a hunter and he just does like these he just wants that guy hunts fucking that guy hunts the way we write jokes he just fucking haunt mean if he's not if he's not rebuilding a fence or a a floor or a table or a truck he's hunting and he's actually the guy killed two deers in a day while I keep fucking Hans makes me want to hunt if I was trying to talk about it today makes me want to hunt I don't think I have the balls to kill anything yeah I don't think I could really yeah I don't either I was never a big gun guy but I was playing in Alaska about 10 years ago and I meant Charlie's a year years ago 10 years ago I met some guy big gun enthusiast guy
01:42:04fishing buddy took me out fishing and I got to bring a cooler full of halibut back home but he took me skeet shooting and I was never been a gun person in my life I was amazing at it and I loved it so I could never shoot an animal I do I wouldn't I wouldn't want to kill anything but I will fuck up a clay plate we should go skeet shooting there's a great speech in the glacier golf one thing we did that's even more fun you walk through the woods with your gun and you go to different stations and you go to your station and you don't know where this keeps coming from but you hear it come out and it's really like honey
01:42:55it's really it's the same place that sounds like you could get shot in the face like that
01:43:02totally organized properly meaning like like you go it like it's a platform with a doc and with a good thing and you swore I can't forget how we did it but I think you swipe something and then you press a button and then you here
01:43:17and the skeet come out but they come out from you shooting your shooting in the open but they come out from like underneath or above but just like if you were shooting birds it's really fun I did with my friends it was really fun up on the skeet shooting Adventure okay I did it with and if I get shot in the face everybody heard it here more funny as we went and did it we've got the shotgun we're doing we're shooting clay pigeons and three guys loaded shotgun walking down the path to go to our next playing at a deer walk directly like nah I'm safe here guys and we just walked
01:43:56I don't know if I could I don't know if I could although I've been trying to write this joke about elk cuz like all I see your people cook an elk everything else looks so fucking good and I go I just want to chill the fuck out of an elk like they need a new PR team because there's digital footprint horrible all of this is great elk steaks right back straps I was like they should get the same PR peanut Lions have cuz you kill a lion and man fucking people go nuts already talked about about deer hunting years ago about that I was in a like a big Sporting Goods one of those with the big taunting place is called
01:44:36Demi Moore on this big chain of them all over Cabela's something like that yeah I know I was just looking around and you know I'm just looking around and they were selling doe urine so apparently the deer hunters will dick sprinkle it cuz I did that the urine has this certain sent when they're when they're when the when the female deer is is ready to mate the the urine has a special odor so the hunter just sprinkles it around and it just makes it even more sad for me that the moment before at a deer's life is and it he's thinking hate there's girls over there or not
01:45:24I saw a bear hunting thing one time on TV and it didn't seem fair to me these guys were in like a like a like a house so they couldn't get hurt by the bear and they were just it was like I was almost like they delivered the bear to them and then the bear showed up and then they just like got him and shot him and I was like oh I don't want to hunt there like that's part of the fucking part of the bear I would think we'll be walking on the thing in the Bears there and you're staring at you got to get your shit together the Revenant watching hunting videos like crazy I was saying the things that I like about hunting or the thing that I would draw me to it is the Romantic side of going out in the woods waking up early like literally like fucking making a fire and then trying to find your black trying to find an animal you know like with you in like three friends and then
01:46:23hunting that animal in the butt but I week we killed a buffalo one time for Trip Flip and then I cried the second we shot it I cried off a little while ago so bad is a big heard we were in I think Idaho by Montana and Crow Nation Crow territory and it was a crow that had the right to kill the Buffalo so we get up on a perch all the Buffalo down big herd and like we got to take out one of the males because of you too many emails and ship goes down and so we going to take out one of the males so they just shot up shoot
01:46:59soon as they shoot all the Buffalo kind of stamp run off except for one and he didn't get him in like his vital the suicide Ellie just broken up with his girl crowd it's well worth seeing and they shot him in the end I guess I didn't get his vital and so he kind of was like what the fuc and then everyone took off except he couldn't run
01:47:25I shoot it again and now he goes down with me and then this little baby buffalo comes running back door like that the fuck mall and got to go down there shooting and you can seem like you know and then they shot it again and the baby wouldn't leave them and then the mom can one of them I'm guessing your mom came over and said come on let's go there you know this is dangerous and then we went down and and it was like this really fucking intense and I I had a really tough time dealing with it I was like I said beautiful animals Montana and Montana like five six times Rich Hall one of my oldest best friend's he's going to place in Livingston genius and I've been going to visit and Rich helped me get him with with London years ago and it's interesting in the movie Phantom thread the way they film it he's on Fitzroy
01:48:25Square where he where this where Daniel Day-Lewis lives where his sewing shop is and so rich Hall lived on Fitzroy square and the first five years when I when I lived in Holland when I first started making trips to London and that's how I when I got him at London led to the international circuit which all gave me a key to his apartment and he lived on Fitzroy square and so that was my favorite thing about the movie Phantom thread on my oh my God it's Fitzroy square and it looks it looks like you know England it is the old England is why they filmed there but Rich has a place in Livingston so I've been to Montana a lot and the last time I was here we were you know you'll see signs that say
01:49:11bison next 10 miles or whatever in the Nabi bison along the road so I thought what's the difference between and I made a knowledge nugget out of this what's the difference between a buffalo and a bison the really only if I remember this correctly the only true Buffalo or the African Buffalo and the Asian Buffalo but we have in North America are bison and the difference between a bison and a buffalo is that it is never been recorded or witnessed a buffalo mating with cattle
01:49:45house but it it has been recorded and witnessed many times bison will made with cows really so that's the difference.
01:49:58Buy some more fucking cow and a buffalo wild buffalo sister Discerning animal I can get better than that trying to make sure I don't owe 14 right now okay good I would go play that was the fight you were witnessing inside I'm playing tennis with George at 4 okay so I got to be out of here but um yeah I know but that always goes by so quick to keep going but you just it's part of who you are you're the most slept-on podcaster ever be and I always slept on podcast people don't realize what amazing podcast interviews you do I remember you telling me what time we're passing I said man I love the podcast you do with Doug Stanhope you go to check out the one I have with kim.com yeah and I was like what
01:50:58like the most
01:51:00federally sought after
01:51:03legally sought-after gazillionaire in Micronesia our lives in New Zealand New Zealand yeah I remember listening to it going hold on one second I'm a look up going to be different kim.com like what am I thinking I was Googling them as I'm listening to it they want to play and I'm on my iPad I'm looking at all the shit and who this guy is on Mike come to the podcast with this guy and I was like that was one of my favorite fucking podcast school I need I don't have more listeners I have been doing some really cool ones lately like about things that I'm really into like I went to Mongolia so I and I read Jenkins biography of James Caan episode in December I went to Switzerland and I went to Charlie Chaplin's house is now a museum about a few things and now we only have 15 minutes to talk about
01:52:03fight in her house I read Charlie Chaplin's autobiography and then I did an episode about Charlie Chaplin I I'm going to Paris this weekend I've got a show at Theatre du Louvre on the 29th so I think next week when I get back I'm going to do an episode on the French Revolution once I finish this book so like I'm dumb I'm doing like a lot of research and a lot of really interesting little article episodes earlier we're at the thing I get off about traveling is like learning the most that I can about these places or like people who are my heroes who are from there just it's been a few years you got to do all these podcast again because already now is going through I think that that Renaissance at personal Renaissance you went through and now are
01:53:03he is very much very very much like about when he travels being
01:53:09being a very small footprint very much in Grain very much learning like you know and it traveling with him is really interesting and I would say it I guess he didn't interview with Henry Rollins and it changed the way he looked at his life I just turned around and said Henry Rollins a lot like you going to a place fucking bottle of water book notebook walk around coffee right meet the people at something great going to whoop museums find some shit that you really want to learn about how you still love is this writer James Michener all those books about Hawaii and Alaska subject and then any other great quote if you don't want to experience the food and the people of different locations why even bother traveling and I would read Mister as I traveled and he would tell they were they were fictionalized stories of the event
01:54:09the based in nonfiction so he would add characters that he would make it easy to make one of people doing movies that's based on a true story this guy there a lot of guys like this guy but this guy does this guy story I loved it I loved it how big Charlie Chaplin's house in Switzerland it's amazing so he was in the McCarthy era you know he was a communist sympathizer was he really yeah buddy you know you was called before Congress in the McCarthy hearings and he said that I have never voted and I have never belonged to a political party at the beginning of World War the United States did not want to get in Vault before of the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor to the Germans had attacked Russia and a lot of people in the United States felt that a second front should be opened up against Germany to relieve Russia so he was kind of pro-russia pro-communist and a lot of people felt that in Europe did the Germans needed to be taken care of and that the second
01:55:08front this attack on Germany should be done so there was a communist rally it was an American Senator was supposed to speak at it there used to be communist groups in America before World War II and the senator was supposed to speak at this rally in San Francisco he got sick ass Chaplin to cover for him Joplin went up there and open to speech with comrades in The Place game fucking unglued and then he did his pro-russia Brokaw me rant and then there was another it wasn't much huh Balu Balu about that it was another call me rally at Carnegie Hall in New York City and so the San Francisco wanted gone so well so they ass Chaplin to do the one at Carnegie Hall and he walked out again and said comrades in the place fucking comes unglued and the lot of people wrote about it you know hey not only is Joplin you know having sex with all these teenage girls he's you know
01:56:09he's he's coming so when he was 1952 is on a ship going to England for the premiere of Limelight and the United States revoked his temporary Visa because he was an English citizen he never gave up his English passport and then he had felt like he had been persecuted Enough by the American government and thought things were a lot of very hypocritical here was religious leaders get involved in politics and all these things and he just said fuck it and he moved his family to Switzerland would love to live in Switzerland it was like 23 Euros to get in which I thought was a little pricey and then by the end of it I was like who could it was it was well worth it so in all these different they let you sit on the furniture in the house first of all most museums you can't sit on the furniture and my favorite room they had all these Chaplin home movies
01:57:09him and his kids and how he was living there is an old man in Switzerland and it's great you can sit on the chairs and sit there and watch it and then also they had the all these wax figures of Chaplin the different periods in his life and Albert Einstein was his friend Winston Churchill Sophia Loren in the house so I leave the house and then you know it's winter the sun's going down at like 5 p.m. so I go in the backyard and I sit in the back yard and I watch the sunset on the Alps and it is just photos on Instagram to go through and retweet all your photos on this Winter's the time to go maybe in summer might be a little more crowded and then they should all you got to go when they die
01:58:09movie so there's a 10-minute movie on Chaplin's life perfectly edited sound bites his movies things into his life just the story of his life for only 10 minutes and then the screen opens up and it's this Recreation of a London Street where Chaplin grew up so it's not over yet I've already picked watching the sunset being in the house right now wait I spent the whole day there I got there like at 1 I spent probably you know 4 hours in the house and then an hour sitting in the backyard and then and then the place closes at 6 p.m. so I only had an hour I go down this London Street and then it's all these sets from Charlie Chaplin movies The Gold Rush this cabin is on this precipice of a cliff and its teetering and chaplain is under the table you can get on go on to the cabin and it's set up like the movie Set it's on rollers so you walk among
01:59:09go to the cabin and it tilts and then modern times where he gets stuck in the Machinery you can like get on the on the cogs and then there's another to the barbershop scene and then you know they had his bowler in his hat in the floppy shoes and everything but it was one of the greatest days I've ever spent in my life really and I had his autobiography but I had never read it and I burned through it once I got home and then I recorded this excellent episode about the life of Charlie Chaplin but I know you was the traveler have you ever been to the Charlie Chaplin my Switzerland experience was very Adventure based so we went to Interlocken we went skiing in the Alps you want heliskiing we went to one of my one of my favorite memories ever this is a little too much control over my show which and I probably should not have had it
02:00:08but I was like I want to I want to I want to what's the dog I want what's the big dog into a Saint Bernard Saint Bernard with the bottle of booze and then the whole trip and we have hot white wine in fondue and then stayed up there way too late and had to make our way down the mountain on
02:00:36in pitch black I mean pitch black with Switzerland is one of the places I just started traveling with the girls meaning like so it sounds amazing and to Switzerland on the ticket take the train and all the sudden you cut in and you'll see the most picturesque Valley with a little town in there and you like going along Lake Geneva on the train and you get those little castles just like jettisoned out and be on the road and a big mountain on the side and on to your left is a big lake and there will be a big castle on an island riddle in the lake and you like what the fit is otherworldly like it is it feels like I shouldn't exist especially in kids growing up in Florida if there's a great Comedy Tour there I've done it this was the third time I've done it fascinating things about Switzerland like
02:01:36hamster it's illegal to have only one hamster you could you need they need to have a friend yeah and they just made it illegal last week to boil lobsters live I just saw that and Sundays are sacred in Switzerland it is illegal to make loud noises to hammer to hang out laundry to wash your car all these like activities like Sundays are meant for people to take the day off and spend it with their family like a lot of really fascinating things about Switzerland I would I would love and Switzerland I think I like nature is the answer like if you're having problems in your life to likes to calm you out and get you back centered and Switzerland has the greatest nature on the planet Earth and Switzerland invented absinthe and LSD two of the most mind-altering chemicals ever so
02:02:36by the time these people in Switzerland look at this stunning nature and thought it's just not enough
02:02:42Aya one of the one of the fascinating things that I very small thing as everyone knows my new hobby snowboarding but but Switzerland the skis the slopes are above the Treeline a lot of places so when you go snow skiing you never seen slopes like this in the states where it is Cliff next to you and and it's almost like a real note of hey you're in charge of your own safety here like this it right here to help you this is your safety if you don't know how to ski don't get up here this is for skiers Edinburgh weather was like a I'm not even joking I'm sure I'm exaggerating but I swear to God the path maybe was
02:03:2715 ft wide is fat and on one side was cliff on the other side was mountain and I'm snowboarding and I'm just thinking hug the fucking Mountain running to the mountain don't even get near the cliff and I'm literally on my heels going down this mountain going like mother fucker and then you get opening and I had one of the most spiritual moment of my life I'm snowboarding and I kind of bust a little bit and I look up in the moment where you are snowboarding and I'm on my ass and I look up and it's the hours and I'm like oh my God like how lucky am I to be in this one place and I started crying and there's a camera man behind me and you turned around any I turned around I saw him I'm just bawling and he's like what you don't like and I got the two big beers and I sat in the fucking adirondak and I was staring up at the mountains watching people skiing and I'm just like what's the greatest moment of my life I got a big Saint Bernard next to me
02:04:27I love dude Switzerland
02:04:31is a fucking really happy place for me I love that place so you got to go to the Charlie Chaplin house and then the interesting thing about Charlie Chaplin I talked about this on my my podcast did after he died grave robbers dug up his grave and tried to Ransom is corpse to his family and they found the guys ended up it was to local mechanics in the little town and Joseline so you can be rich I said this on stage in Switzerland I said it on the podcast you know you switch people you're with all your money thank you got it figured out but if you don't pay your low wage earners more money they're going to dig up your dead bodies and Ransom it to your family so I want to get I want I want to get hooked into some of these tours you do I'm very happy you landed in Sydney Australia the day I was leaving I would have loved to have Sydney's one of my favorite cities in the world with you
02:05:31raising theater been more and more Theater which voice dial change to the n-word theater why was I posted it on Instagram and Twitter I was like I'll be performing at the end more and more theater and they broke the n-word theater and I think that help me sell tickets sold them both really did the Sydney Opera House 2 nights in a row just one part of the fennel and that was but I was mind-blowing yeah didn't have the best stuff to my life years ago when I have been playing Sydney long time but I was staying at this hotel and I was as when I was trying to to to be healthy Taco jog everyday and it was about two miles to the Sydney Opera house and I would run up the steps of the Sydney Opera house and do the Rocky thing that was my point of turning around to I've been on top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge if you ever done that do you can go and a hike you can you can climb up to the top of it there's tours and you can go on to the top and that's like
02:06:31one of the most incredible spots on planet Earth this is how detached I was in that Australian tour kids for me I was traveling every day and Performing every night and if I give you some time. What happened was I I I hadn't sold well in Melbourne Melbourne and in Sydney I'd sold okay and they're like we need you to do this this radio show this TV show forget the name of it top of the charts but sound like that the view or the look is I'm sure you've done it and so I had to land in Perth fly to Melvin fly back to Perth that's why I'm on the other side of the Earth the whole time and it was just about the time I got to Sydney was the only time I had 2 days off like 2 days where I wasn't flying and I my buddy Eric Cruz and came with me and I'm walking down to the Sydney Opera House to do my set
02:07:32on the first night and he was how cool it was like huh he's like you're performing at Sydney Opera house and I was like what is a cure performing in 04 removed I was so distant I was in that torch I'm so used to just just traveling forming traveling forming yeah and and I when I got there I went oh my God and I had this Moment of clarity where I went seven years ago I was here Travel Channel we were doing a segment and I'm around buddy John man's not what it wasn't John man's it was my buddy Andy my buddy John were like hey one day you'll be for me there and I was like and I literally said something very drastic what happened to my career for me to form in that pipe I will never perform there that will never happen and then for the two nights in a row nose like oh I didn't sell the tickets it was the festival sold the tickets but it was
02:08:32in Fremantle the town next door is where Bon Scott is from I went and put flowers on Bon Scott grave does early ACDC helps me get through 8th grade at Jackson Heights Middle School help me get into any fist fight I was every bridge Piazza little square in the middle of the Town limits got Golf Course smooth grass and there's a giant Jumbotron TV screen that's on William Street or James is the street where all these bars are and I'd come out I was still drunk when I did the Perth Festival years ago I'm walking in the street and then
02:09:14massive Jumbotron screen and they were showing like this African tribe like they're doing this like drum thing and people are dancing and then it cut to like these Chinese women doing some like beautiful ribbon dance with these flowing ribbons and was just a little vignettes Snippets of all these great things from all over the world and I was like booze tonight I just I just reclined in this plush Golf Course grass and watch this Jumbotron for like an hour and like really like on Saturday afternoons they show children's films and then the the show massive sporting events but like whenever I meet someone from Perth I was going Northbridge Piazza do you know what I call a TV Park to know what I did I listen to INXS and jogged oh my God I'll never forget it my 16th birthday party I had in my house stop
02:10:14the party to demand who had stolen my listen like thieves cassette to I love it except I would love a new South Head Road to my favorite restaurant in Sydney is called a flavor of India and it's actually where Michael Hutchence had his last meal before he went and auto-erotic asphyxiation himself and for that reason whenever I eat there I never wear a belt they have a coconut encrusted shrimp there that is so good the only answer would be to hang yourself afterwards alright I got to go to the catacombs
02:11:05he's underground tunnels I went to the Cathedral of cave skulls in the Louvre on January 29th in Paris just do me a favor go to the show and then go out to Tom at the end and go hey the machines that me I would there is no question about it especially if you live in Paris you will love Tom Rhodes there's no other parents I got a lot of them the first love of my life was are the Parisian II first time I went to Paris I was amazed I had a long history with Paris most rounded a French Resort in Thailand anyway I'll save that that's all
02:12:05maybe on my next special February 7th to the 10th I'm at the punchline in San Francisco favorite Club on the plane. I'm in your hometown Tampa Side Splitters are you going to do cow head I don't know what you got to do, and I'm not sure I'll reach out to him to make sure ain't cool and also I have a new album on iTunes called all hell after all right I'll tell I'll take that all retweet. I'm going to retweet your podcast you did about Charlie Chaplin and then the longer I wish I adore you and I one of my favorite things in the world is talking with you about travel you're one of them started you been an influence of mind like a huge influence of mine and obviously and I say this a hundred percent transparency watching you go from the partying lifestyle to a guy who is not chained
02:13:051 bit and is literally living this like I got out of jail life where you're doing these amazingly cool things that I don't look at you like someone who's like craving the booze or other drugs to to make it happen you just seem like a guy who's just so fucking happy I am a metaphor and now I think I'm bringing a lot more intelligence to to what I'm doing in the story is it I want to tell talking about my travel experiences talking about knowledge nuggets and things like that so I think it's and it's why ultimately I think I stopped drinking because I knew it would make me better comedian it's I remember I'm not that anybody you know I know I busted my head open in Philadelphia I blacked out and fell off of a bar stool so I mean if you're drinking and you're partying just stay out of Philadelphia I'll be shooting my special in Philadelphia February 20th
02:14:05are you really bored at the truck so I will be drinking I'm not going to that Mexican restaurant have any problem with drinking or whatever I just buy a personal path in life that's all I want can you go to the show hang back go have a cup of coffee with Tom Walker Street I'll hang out while you're drinking I still like to hang out the best and please tell your wife I said hello and I love you too man thank you for doing this I love you
02:14:54this episode was brought to you by the machine

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