Full Transcript for Breathing A Unifying Medium

00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:35.839 That's actually like science, there's science behind that. 00:05:35.920 --> 00:05:36.319 Oh, yeah. 00:05:38.639 --> 00:05:42.240 So, of course, you don't want to have somebody in an unsafe position. 00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:45.040 But we did something similar with my dad. 00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:51.920 He lived with me for the last nine years of his life, and we knew the point was coming where he couldn't drive anymore. 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:58.160 But rather than just take the keys away, we sort of like had limited how far he'd go. 00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:01.120 And then it just eventually fell away, you know. 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:11.920 And I, you know, and every time he would just go to publics, I'd say, now you know if you get in an accident, they're gonna know you have Parkinson's, and let's take your license away. 00:06:12.160 --> 00:06:15.040 So, you know, if you want to go chance it, go ahead. 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:24.000 The other thing, and then we'll get into the breathler, is I bought him a walker and it sat in the corner for two years. 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:27.759 And while it sat in the corner, he would continue to fall. 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.639 And we have tile floors, so I was always worried. 00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:43.680 And every time he would fall, it would take him a horrible length of time to get off the floor, you know, and um as long as 20 minutes, because then his legs would freeze and all this. 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:50.079 Sometimes I had to call an ambulance to get just to get him up, which you have to do. 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:56.240 I'm I was told you you are not supposed to help him, you're gonna hurt yourself. 00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:57.839 And I made a big mistake. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:00.160 I was helping him get in bed at night. 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:13.519 I all I was doing was pushing his legs in because he couldn't seem to get into the bed fully, and I ended up tearing my bicep and needing a shoulder replacement. 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:32.560 Oh my! But this is what happens with caretakers, they they keep wanting to do things we're not supposed to do, yeah, but at least um I do have spiritual things that I can fall back on when I get anxious or angry, not at him, but at the disease. 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:34.959 And one of them is breath work. 00:07:35.439 --> 00:07:36.480 Oh, beautiful. 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:38.000 And meditation. 00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:41.680 Yes, so that's why I wanted to have you on. 00:07:41.839 --> 00:07:52.079 So let me ask you, what do you think the most misunderstood aspect of breath work in as far as therapeutic settings is? 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:57.600 As far as therapeutic settings, do you mean like for instance in hospitals and healthcare? 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:00.319 Yeah, what do they not understand about? 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:01.360 Okay. 00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:22.639 I would say that one of the things that to me really um is so sad that they don't understand is they still think of breath work as a kind of adjunctive modality, like, you know, like it's it's a tool that you can use to help with other things. 00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:35.120 And I don't think that the full power of what breath work can actually do for a body and a heart and a mind and a spirit is really understood completely. 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:48.879 And um how empowering it is if somebody can actually get to the point where they can see that it is the fastest way that a human being can change their brain state. 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:54.240 You can start to change your brain state in literally one conscious breath. 00:08:54.799 --> 00:09:02.000 And if you really can uh which can have an impact physically, emotionally, cognitively, spiritually. 00:09:02.320 --> 00:09:13.519 So if we really understood the depth of this medicine of what breath work really could do for physical ailments to spiritual ailments, it would change medicine. 00:09:13.759 --> 00:09:13.919 Yeah. 00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:19.120 Now I do traditional talk therapy, I've done it for years. 00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:24.399 Um psychology is not something that I dismiss. 00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:30.720 I I really believe in a lot of the things, not everything, but I do like talking to another person. 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:34.240 And so that's why I've done that for a long time. 00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:41.360 And I stopped, and then, you know, COVID hit, and that got everybody depressed and anxious. 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:43.679 But then I had the other things flying in. 00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:49.600 So I had to learn how to have other things too, like breathing, just breathing. 00:09:49.759 --> 00:09:50.240 Yeah. 00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:58.559 And what do you think breath work does when there are there's like trauma just stored up in the in your body? 00:09:58.799 --> 00:09:59.279 Yeah. 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:17.360 Well, the first thing is that we know that, you know, trauma uh causes, you know, when when we are traumatized, we're going to be in a state where we have a kind of continual fight, flight, freeze, you know, fawn or faint. 00:10:17.600 --> 00:10:24.159 We're kind of in a high alert emergency state, but it's maybe become chronic if it's been there for many years. 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:28.879 But um, so there's an acute phase and a and a and a chronic phase. 00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:43.039 And we know that when the body is in flight, fight, or freeze, or fainter, fawn, we now say that there's other pieces too, that um our brains are not fully present. 00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:49.519 You know, we've we've hijacked the amygdala and the limbic brain, we're in a state of fear. 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:55.840 That's going to affect our flexibility and our strength in our muscles. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:56.240 Yeah. 00:10:56.480 --> 00:11:03.360 It's going to affect our ability to respond to situations with creativity rather than with fear. 00:11:03.600

--> 00:11:06.240 I mean, it's going to affect our health. 00:11:06.480 --> 00:11:20.720 You know, to have that much uh cortisol running through your body all the time can affect your blood sugar, can affect your insulin, uh, can affect your ability to sleep, can increase anxiety. 00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:26.799 So, yeah, I think that the effects, the effects are very impactful. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:32.879 And especially if it goes on for a long period of time, it can really affect the quality of your life. 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:43.840 My minister calls that the lizard brain, that we go to the, you know, almost like uh a caveman type thing, a survival mode type thing. 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:50.960 And uh instead he says, when you get into, like, especially with me, I can get anxiety attacks. 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:54.879 And when that happens, I have to remember what he told me. 00:11:55.200 --> 00:12:00.480 Go down, get out of your head, go down to your heart and breathe. 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:07.440 Breathe, you know, and that's something that um we do in our spiritual community. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:12.879 So let me ask you this what does embodied awareness mean, trio? 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:16.080 I've heard that term, embodied awareness. 00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:18.320 Okay, that's a lovely question. 00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:25.600 And as I go into it, I just want to really acknowledge that your community, your spiritual community is doing that practice. 00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:50.799 You know, when I wrote the book about breath work, breath work and psychotherapy, I for healing and transformation, I studied, I went and kind of looked up like all the major religions and some of the more minor religions, and I found references to breathing practices in every single religion. 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:58.320 It's sort of like at the heart of the religion, they know two things that are kind of universal. 00:12:58.559 --> 00:13:08.000 One is that we we we are meant to love each other, and the other one is that breathing is a is a connecting point to God. 00:13:08.159 --> 00:13:10.879 I mean, it's literally a connecting point to life force. 00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:11.200 Yes. 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:16.559 So I just want to really acknowledge that your your pat your minister is having you guys do that. 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:17.840 Yes. 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:22.639 Well, he starts our service um with a meditation. 00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:24.240 He starts our service that way. 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:24.799 I love that. 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:28.799 You know, everybody gets quiet and you breathe and you're quiet for a couple of seconds. 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.919 And yeah, there's no other church that does that. 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:36.559 In fact, we don't like to call ourselves a church, we call ourselves a spiritual community. 00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:37.600 I love that. 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:38.960 Welcome everybody. 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:49.200

Yeah, I mean, really, I I mean, I'm not a a religious scholar, so I don't want to be arrogant, but you know, just kind of common sense when you think about it. 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:58.720 Religions are man-made, which doesn't make them wrong, but there are people, you know, creating rituals around these things. 00:13:58.960 --> 00:14:02.879 Spirituality is the direct contact with the thing, you know. 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:11.840 When you think about the great spiritual figures throughout our history, they were having mystical experiences with the divine. 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:18.799 You know, they weren't calling themselves a particular religion, they were relating directly to God. 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:25.679 And so it's it's it's lovely that human beings have come along and said, well, why don't we make a religion? 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:31.840 But it it can also be um it can be constricting rather than than opening. 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.759 So I love that you that you're calling this. 00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:34.639 Oh yes. 00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:38.399 Well, I I I am a recovering Catholic. 00:14:38.559 --> 00:14:39.200 Yes. 00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:41.200 So I know all about it. 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:43.279 Yes, so I understand that. 00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:45.840 Um so embodied awareness. 00:14:46.240 --> 00:15:14.879 So that's so important, Mimi, because I often, you know, I'm sure people have heard this example from other lecturers and teachers and stuff, but I think it's apt to just uh it's very graphic representation is that when this the big tsunami was coming into Indonesia all those years ago that wiped out so many people, you know, the animals all sought higher ground. 00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:22.240 There, in fact, that was part of why we should have figured out that there was a problem because animals were just moving to higher ground. 00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:54.159 I think that we have uh a real crisis in humanity, which is that, and it's unfortunately probably being accentuated by the digital, you know, the technological advancements too, that can also really help, but you know, can hinder with this process that we actually have somatic intelligence and wisdom, emotional intelligence and wisdom, and cognitive intelligence and wisdom. 00:15:54.320 --> 00:16:04.080 We could say we have spiritual too, but just in terms of the body, it's easy to see that we have we we are filled with sensations. 00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:16.720 You know, we have we have the five senses, and these sensations are intelligence, they're energy and information that our body has. 00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:33.360 And some of it is extraceptive on the outside of our body, but some of it is what science calls interoceptive awareness, which is where your body's actually listening to different things that's going on and it's making adjustments all the time. 00:16:33.600 --> 00:17:05.680 And the same thing, and and we know now that people even describe the enteric

brain, which is the brain in the gut, that there's intelligence in in our microbiome, and that there's communication going on between the neural brain and the and the gut brain, and then there's also the cardiac brain, and there's emotion, and you know that's what psychology teaches us: that there's a lot of information and intelligence and wisdom and valuing that those emotions can bring to us. 00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:31.680 So for me, and this is where breath work is just it excels in terms of helping us to become more whole and integrate and have more potential, actuate, actualized, is that embodied awareness is when we have greater access to our somatic wisdom, our emotional wisdom, and our cognitive wisdom. 00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:44.799 And we're not just relating to life through what we think or what we perceive or you know, what we see, or even just through how our emotions are kind of unconsciously reacting. 00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:55.519 We're getting a deeper level of information, like those animals did, you know, like we better go up to higher ground because we're feeling something going on here, you know. 00:17:55.759 --> 00:18:11.599 And I think that humanity could really benefit if human beings from birth were supported in experiencing the intelligence of their bodies, hearts, and minds and spirits. 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:18.400 And I think it would help us be individually more whole, but also collectively much more whole. 00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:33.680 I am a very uh great example of what you're talking about because uh I did not have any of that kind of thinking until I was 41 years old. 00:18:34.640 --> 00:19:01.680 And I had a lot of trauma and dysfunction and abuse and alcoholism, and um so then you know, when I was 41, I decided to stop drinking, and when I did that, the doctors told me you have chronic depression, not situational, chronic, and anxiety disorder. 00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:04.400 They could tell that from chemically testing me. 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:28.160 And they said all those years you were drinking, you were self-medicating, you were medicating, I was self-medicating, and then when that was not helping anymore, and I was getting depressed, I don't know, spirit, whoever, universe, I don't know, God, whatever, whoever, someone intervened, and I went on my own. 00:19:28.240 --> 00:19:43.519 It wasn't an intervention, it was like I made a decision and after that, when my mind was clear, you know, um, first I went the therapy route, you know, for a while, and AA, of course. 00:19:43.839 --> 00:19:55.279 And then when I moved to Florida 22 years ago, that's when I started getting more spiritual, motivated more spiritually, and the breath work. 00:19:55.599 --> 00:20:00.559 And it does, it keeps me from a lot of meltdowns. 00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:01.519 Yes. 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:20.000 And what I what I don't understand is most people walking around, they're not thinking about um actualizing their deeper potential or

you know, um, trying to find an alternative way to problems. 00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:27.440 And I I can understand, I mean, a lot of them just said, hey, I gotta feed my family, I have to make money, I don't have time for that. 00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:31.119 But you can make five minutes a day. 00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:34.559 And am I right that that really is all you need? 00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:40.160 You know, I I could not agree more with one little modification. 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:43.839 I have found experientially that it's seven minutes a day. 00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:50.880 Yeah, and there's some evidence, science evidence to back that up. 00:20:51.119 --> 00:21:06.240 So I used to observe, Mimi, that when I my students would do about five minutes of breathing, they would definitely feel different, better, more present, more capable of engaging, uh, more open to growth. 00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:11.039 But it wouldn't last as long as I hoped for. 00:21:11.119 --> 00:21:15.920 And then if I found if I had them, if I said to them, well, why don't you do 10 minutes a day? 00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:19.920 Their minds would sometimes say, I don't have 10 minutes, I don't have 10 minutes. 00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:27.279 And then I observed that if they did seven minutes, it was like it lasted longer. 00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:28.319 Well, guess what? 00:21:28.480 --> 00:21:40.720 A study just came out of sometime in the last few months where they were studying the brain scans of meditators, and guess what they found out? 00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:41.920 Seven minutes. 00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:44.960 Seven minutes was when the pain state happened. 00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:47.759 Well, you you found it out by trial and error. 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:48.240 Yeah. 00:21:48.400 --> 00:21:48.559 No. 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:54.240 But that that's very interesting because um my mind is too busy all the time. 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:56.160 I have so much in my head. 00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:59.759 Um, you know, people always say, Oh, you're you're so smart. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:01.119 You know so much. 00:22:01.279 --> 00:22:05.039 Yeah, but it's also hard to quiet that mind of mine. 00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:09.519 You know, um since COVID, I wrote four books. 00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:11.599 Four. 00:22:11.839 --> 00:22:15.759 And I had I started the podcast and I have a YouTube channel. 00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:21.279 And a lot of that is because I don't have the communication I used to have with my husband. 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:24.720 You know, and I'm a talker and I want to talk to people. 00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:29.279 And we all have our gifts and we all have our blind spots. 00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:45.200 And I realized uh through the therapy, the talk therapy, and my minister and people in my spiritual community that I had a mission, I just wasn't acting on it. 00:22:46.240 --> 00:23:00.640 And once it came to me, because I had to really think about it, I knew it was to help

people that had gone through things like I had gone through, which you know, in every family you'll find that stuff. 00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:11.440 You'll find addiction, you'll find domestic abuse, you know, all these little depression, yes, and um unfortunately I experienced them all. 00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:14.000 But that's okay. 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.160 I thought I'm the that's why. 00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:22.480 That's why, because I'm supposed to help people, and that's why you know, be heard, empower yourself. 00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:24.880 That's what we talked about earlier. 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:48.079 And um you spoke too before about uh fragility and sensitivity of human beings, and I can relate to that because as strong and powerful as I appear to the world, sometimes I do feel very fragile. 00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:56.319 So, how does that understanding of fragility and sensitivity shape your work? 00:23:57.279 --> 00:23:59.119 What a great question. 00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:13.680 So um, you know, I like to think, I like to say that fragility and vulnerability are not um they're not an affliction. 00:24:13.839 --> 00:24:16.079 They're actually one of our greatest gifts. 00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:25.519 I think that human beings have capacities that we may not be living into our full potential about that. 00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:33.920 I think the fragility and the vulnerability are these deep uh knowings in a in a lot of ways. 00:24:34.079 --> 00:24:39.839 You know, like some people are just canaries in a cold mine, you know, they they said that. 00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:47.200 Yeah, they're kind of picking up on their that there's a problem before other people are, but I think we all have that capacity. 00:24:47.359 --> 00:25:20.160 So for me, what is so beautiful, one of the things that is so beautiful about breath work and learning how to breathe consciously and um and have do breath work and have your breath with you as a friend and a companion and a you know, all the time, is that that fragility and sensitivity instead of being a liability is supported by the the physical life force strength of the breathing. 00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:34.799 And you discover that you can be in the presence of, let's say, somebody else's hatred of you or somebody else's uh disappointment with you or somebody else's uh rejection of you. 00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:43.759 You can be in the presence of your own heartbreak about something that happened in your life, like a beloved that's sick or dies. 00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:49.759 You can be in the presence of the heartbreak that you have about the world and the world situation. 00:25:50.160 --> 00:26:11.039 And you find that with the breathing, you're so connected to your essential life force and whatever it is that creates everything, that instead of the fragility breaking you down, it gives you a kind of intelligence, a kind of wisdom about how to be with these particular situations. 00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:33.519 And you feel a strength coming from literally physically from all the oxygenation and the breathing, it's very uh very enlivening, but also that deeper spiritual part where the breathing is this practice that reminds us that what brings us into the world is a breath. 00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:34.559 You know, the Reverend L. 00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:43.839 Sharpton says that's why nobody has the right to take away anybody else's breath because it's God given, you know, and if we don't breathe, we don't live. 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:51.039 So it's this connection point between the larger thing of what we all are and the individual body. 00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:58.240 And so yeah, I think that fragility transforms into sensitivity that is an intelligence. 00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:07.119 Yes, I am going through everything you just said betrayal and disappointment and with other people. 00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:19.839 And um, you know, it's a lot of it has to do with our, you know, I'm gonna be 78 years old next, not well, October, 78 in October, and my husband's 77. 00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:27.200 And all of a sudden we're finding a shift in the family in how we're treated. 00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:38.480 And I just feel maybe it's because they're afraid that they think we want them to take care of us in the future, which is not what we want. 00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:45.200 I'm in the process of setting us both up in a program where no one has to help us. 00:27:46.079 --> 00:27:46.400 Okay. 00:27:46.960 --> 00:27:51.839 And um, but it hurts me that they just assume that. 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:53.279 Yeah, yeah. 00:27:53.519 --> 00:27:58.480 And that their way of coping with it is to push us away. 00:27:58.720 --> 00:27:59.759 To push us away. 00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:01.279 It's so sad. 00:28:01.519 --> 00:28:06.640 I mean, you know, my father uh lived with me for the n last nine years of his life. 00:28:06.799 --> 00:28:08.079 He lived to be 99. 00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:36.079 So and I I tell you, the I I saw he was a very vibrant man who was an intellectual who had people knew about him around the globe because he had done an enormous amount of work around um how we could bring about a world without war, uh, how we could, you know, look towards disarmament, that kind of stuff. 00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:38.079 So he was very highly respected. 00:28:38.319 --> 00:28:56.559 Even with him, I noticed how at a certain level, maybe by the time he was like 97, I could just there there were still a lot of people that respected him, but it's like people are afraid or something about about getting older, about dying. 00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:04.240 And I am I feel so sad that we don't realize that our elders are one of our greatest treasures. 00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:06.559 They have so much wisdom in them. 00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:08.640 They have they have so much experience. 00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:11.680 We should be asking them a lot of questions, you know. 00:29:11.759

--> 00:29:12.480 Yeah, yeah. 00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:19.359 I'm so sorry that's happened, but it's I'm glad that you're finding uh a place that can support you. 00:29:19.440 --> 00:29:19.759 Yeah. 00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:30.880 Well, the first thing I did, which I was uh guided to do, I wrote my memoir, and it was called Raised by Wolves, Trapped by Demons. 00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:40.559 And it encompassed, well, my my parents were the wolves, they just wanted me to be a worker bee and never leave and just bring money into the house. 00:29:40.799 --> 00:29:47.039 And then the demons were when I finally escaped that the saying going from the pot into the fire. 00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:47.680 Yeah. 00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:53.839 And of course, men, and I was too young to pick good men, so that was not good. 00:29:54.000 --> 00:30:10.880 And why I'm bringing this up is that book went from the darkest part of my life to how I changed along the way and how I finally got through the darkness and found the light. 00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:26.559 And my grandson, a couple years ago when the book first came out, he said he had a friend, 16 years old, and he said, Nana, he read your book and he follows you on Instagram. 00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:29.839 Oh, I was like so beautiful. 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:37.200 You know, I am seeing that in some of the younger, the younger generation, that they're not, they don't have as much ageism. 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:44.400 They I think they they really are interested in people of many different ages, and I'm and I'm it's heartening to me. 00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:44.799 Yeah. 00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:45.119 Yeah. 00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:53.359 So I mean, you know, he's a little uh star now among his friends because when I found that out, I did meet him in person. 00:30:53.759 --> 00:30:58.319 And he was just, you could tell he was so amazed to meet me. 00:30:58.480 --> 00:31:01.440 He was really, you know, happy to meet me. 00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:16.240 And um my second book, I dedicated it to him because up till then I was putting all my perspective and all my uh work towards women, empowering women. 00:31:16.559 --> 00:31:28.400 And he changed, he had an effect on me because he was a 16-year-old boy, and I actually changed the name of my podcast because it was Be Heard Empowering Women. 00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:42.160 Ah, and I changed it to Be Heard, Empower Yourself, and I made it, I included all genders, and so the second book I dedicated to him because he changed my percep perspective. 00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:44.720 Well, maybe he's listening to this podcast. 00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:49.759 Well, you never know because you know, my grandson was he's your biggest band, Nana. 00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:57.039 But um the the last book I wrote, Anatomy of an Alien, which has to do with all my medical stuff. 00:31:57.200 --> 00:32:03.920 Um, I was able to be at the kids up there, they all had pizza parties for the graduation party. 00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:06.880 And they went from one house to another, you know. 00:32:07.039 --> 00:32:16.319 So I ended up being at his house, and I gave as a I have a present for you for graduation, and I gave him that fourth book and I signed it. 00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:19.599 Well, you would think I gave him a diamond. 00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.480 I mean, he was so thrilled with that, yeah. 00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:23.920 That's so beautiful. 00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:48.079 So he's been part of my journey, you know, really touching it, and it just shows you, and that's the next thing we're gonna talk about kindness and compassion, and how that causes transformation in people that's so important to be kind, and it's so important to be compassionate. 00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:50.319 So, what do you think? 00:32:50.960 --> 00:33:16.799 I think that absolutely I want I 183% agree with you, and I think this is a place where, again, here's something very powerful that I I would like to say is that when we're born, physiologically, the whole drive of the first few minutes is to breathe. 00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:21.359 Like that's our our entire body is just like that's what's gotta happen. 00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:28.880 Emotionally and spiritually, our directive is to connect, to love. 00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:32.480 We will love our parents even when they can't love us back. 00:33:32.640 --> 00:34:00.960 Yeah, and I think that what I like to call the twinned immediacy of that, that the the drive physiologically to breathe and the drive emotionally and spiritually to love or connect, that what I have discovered is that when we breathe fully, deeply as we can, we feel less defended, more open. 00:34:02.240 --> 00:34:05.119 We feel our common humanity. 00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:10.400 We might not even be thinking this, but we feel our common humanity with other people. 00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:43.599 And we naturally become kinder because our orientation has just shifted to be more open and less defended, and because our breathing deeply oxygenates us and supports us in being able to be present even in difficult and challenging situations, so that rather than seeing somebody as an enemy that isn't, or rather than being afraid of something when we don't need to, we're able to be more flexible, more creative, more connective. 00:34:43.840 --> 00:35:05.519 Another powerful thing to understand about that is that the primitive brain, uh, the brain stem, the most primitive part of our brain, uh, has this natural mechanism where it identifies who's safe and who's not safe, or who's the in-group, my group, and who's the out group. 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:09.199 And it's stimulated by fear and by cortisol. 00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:33.679 Nowadays, we're living in so much constant cortisol, adrenaline, you know, anxiety, so much happening all the time that I think it's part of what, not the only thing by a long shot, but part of what has contributed to the polarization where

you've got this group and this group, and they're so different, and they won't listen to each other, and you know what we call othering. 00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:44.159 So here's it's beautiful, this thing of breathing and kindness, because you can create an in-group and an out-group about anything. 00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:47.119 You can say, Well, you live in Florida, I live here. 00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:48.960 You're this age, I'm that age. 00:35:49.119 --> 00:35:53.920 Your skin is this color, mine's that, you're this, you know, spiritual path, I'm that. 00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:56.239 You went to, you know, this college. 00:35:56.320 --> 00:35:57.920 I mean, you can create it about anything. 00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:00.800 You speak a different language, you have a different gender. 00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:18.480 There's only one, and so your brain can feel a kind of like resistance and fear about almost anybody unless you kind of override it through thinking clearly and generating love. 00:36:18.960 --> 00:36:33.440 When we're breathing together, what happens to the brain is there's only one group that I can think of where you can't create anothering about, and that's the group of breathers. 00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:35.440 Everybody is a breather. 00:36:35.599 --> 00:36:38.719 All eight billion plus people are breathers. 00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:50.239 So, what I've seen experientially is that you can have enemies breathing together, you can have couples on the brink of divorce and arguing about whatever. 00:36:50.480 --> 00:36:57.679 And when people breathe together, that part of their brain that's doing that in-group out group thing relaxes. 00:36:58.159 --> 00:37:05.760 They feel the connection of kindness, exactly and they're able to work through their problems much better. 00:37:06.079 --> 00:37:14.639 Well, yeah, you're going, you're leaving the brain and you're going into your heart, you're going down because you to breathe, your lungs are right next to your heart. 00:37:14.800 --> 00:37:15.920 Yes, that area. 00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:35.840 You know, so uh my minister would always, I was a prayer chaplain at one time, and he'd say, Okay, now you're gonna call your people, and before you call them, I want you to breathe and go down from your mind to your heart and breathe, and then make your calls. 00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:37.119 Oh, how beautiful! 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:41.599 Yeah, oh I'm I'm very blessed that I call that community, very blessed. 00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:42.159 Yes. 00:37:42.480 --> 00:37:56.960 So, like you said, it you know, the world does feel a little overwhelming and fragmented, and I'm being like generous because it's really fragmented. 00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:02.239 But um how how can people stay open-hearted in a world like this? 00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:03.760 Yeah, yeah. 00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:10.880 You know, I often say to myself, Mimi, they're but for the grace of God go I. 00:38:11.119 --> 00:38:11.440 Yes. 00:38:11.599 -->

00:38:15.039 You know, you can look at at any almost anybody in life. 00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:27.840 I know it's hard sometimes because some people are just so cruel and so insensitive and so controlling and domineering and you know, violent. 00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:40.320 But with many things in life, just the ordinary, you know, somebody else is very irritated, they're yet, they snap at you, they're annoyed, they have a different belief system than you. 00:38:41.039 --> 00:38:50.480 Um, you know, many things that happen, you can often just like really think about it, you know, if I'd had a different set of experiences, who knows? 00:38:50.559 --> 00:38:52.400 I might be like that person too. 00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:53.360 You know? 00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:53.760 Yeah. 00:38:53.920 --> 00:39:05.119 And so then to just feel fortunate, to feel lucky, and then to breathe deeply with that gratitude will stimulate the thymus gland. 00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:09.280 When the thymus gland stimulates, we know you get better digestion. 00:39:09.599 --> 00:39:13.519 You get uh you the thymus gland is right next to the heart. 00:39:13.920 --> 00:39:34.159 Um, and it just tends to relax your body so that you can feel grateful for what you have and not so much uh looking at the differences between you and other people, and then you can begin to understand why they might be the way that they are. 00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:34.480 Right. 00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:49.119 So, you know, the the the breathing, you know, we've been talking a lot about the spiritual and emotional parts of it, but it's actually physiologically regulating, you know, the fat again, fastest way to change your brain state. 00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:56.719 We know that when you breathe slower, you activate parasympathetic activity. 00:39:57.199 --> 00:40:04.639 So we have this nervous system, it has the sympathetic nervous system, which is about doing and initiating and making things happen. 00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:10.480 Then we have parasympathetic that's about resting and being and digesting. 00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:21.840 And um, in our world today, because of the amount of stimulation, the amount of overwhelm, the pace that people are living at, the isolation. 00:40:22.159 --> 00:40:33.280 You know, you if you if you were living maybe 100, 200, 500, or if you were just in a different area of the world, even, you might not be as alone with your husband anyway. 00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:39.440 You would be part of a greater extended family, but we're living in more isolated units. 00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:46.400 We're overwhelmed, digital information, you know, we see the violence that comes in on our screens. 00:40:46.639 --> 00:40:58.079 And so we we have an overabundance of cortisol, an overabundance of the sympathetic uh nervous system being activated. 00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:15.599 When we breathe deeply, the parasympathetic begins to be activated, which brings balance, it calms us down, it's regulating, uh, it stimulates what we call now the vagus nerve. 00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:20.079 And that's the the nerve that helps all of us feel more peaceful. 00:41:20.320 --> 00:41:37.679 And so, yeah, I think that that part of how we stay more open-hearted is through recognizing that we want to be the kind of people that are making a contribution and not contributing to the chaos. 00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:48.880 And if we breathe deeply, we will recognize our common humanity, we'll remember that we our nature is love, and we will make better choices and do better actions that way. 00:41:49.280 --> 00:41:54.000 It doesn't have to be some great esoteric difficult thing to do. 00:41:54.239 --> 00:41:57.679 Honestly, like your minister told you, just breathe. 00:41:57.840 --> 00:42:09.840 And it's amazing how the physiology and the emotions and the spirituality come together so that you're just more present and less defensive and you're more kind and you're more open-hearted. 00:42:10.159 --> 00:42:18.400 And I and I really think too um that everybody does have uh a reason to be here. 00:42:18.559 --> 00:42:30.159 They don't always know it and they don't look for it, they don't care, but some people, like you and I, we go, okay, what's my purpose? 00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:31.760 What's my purpose? 00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:34.559 And it doesn't have to be a big thing. 00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:44.320 Like with you, it's the breath work, which is great, and with me, it's getting the message out about different things that are affecting people. 00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:46.719 So thank you for being with us. 00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:56.239 This was a very powerful conversation, Miss Jessica, and your insights into breath and presence and human potential. 00:42:56.480 --> 00:43:06.400 Should remind everyone listening that transformation isn't something abstract, it's something we could feel, we can practice in real time. 00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:13.920 And I hope if my listeners, if anything sparked you today, let it move you into action. 00:43:14.159 --> 00:43:15.920 Take a deeper breath. 00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:27.039 Yes, yes, breathe deeply and try something new or something, simply just meet the moment with more awareness, you know, because we talked about that. 00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:33.440 So we're grateful that you joined us and we hope you carry this energy forward into whatever comes next. 00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:39.360 You know, um, I don't there's a quote, I don't know, I think the author's unknown. 00:43:39.679 --> 00:43:43.840 Inhale the future and exhale the past. 00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:45.440 Beautiful. 00:43:45.679 --> 00:43:48.719 It is, it is, and that's what we were talking about. 00:43:49.679 --> 00:43:51.280 So again, thank you. 00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:53.119 Thank you, Mimi. 00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:56.480 It's been, as I said at the beginning, an honor to be with you. 00:43:56.559 --> 00:44:10.079 And I I'm really grateful that you have decided to devote so much of your energy and life to helping other people navigate the challenging times and to be a role model of how you can do that. 00:44:10.159 --> 00:44:10.320 Yeah. 00:44:12.159 --> 00:44:12.960 All right, everyone. 00:44:13.039 --> 00:44:14.159 I hope you enjoyed the show. 00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:15.360 I know I did.