TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Opening Narrator: The following
series addresses sensitive
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topics including self harm and
suicide. Listener discretion is
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advised.
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Uneasy Tiger Intro: Uneasy
Tiger.
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Sherry: But that's what happens
when you get entangled with a
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married man. More regret. Maybe
that's the underlying meaning of
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that song, that everything, no
matter how awful, has to happen
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so you can be right where you're
at now. I'm the mother to a
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spunky, brilliant baby girl. How
could I regret that?
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Luisa: Shit. Who's...
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Oh, uncle. I'll call you back.
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Sherry: I don't know if I
believe in fate, but sometimes I
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feel like my life isn't mine.
Like, I'm in one of those toy
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cars you put on a track, and my
only option is to stay the
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course. No matter how much I
jerk the wheel, I always wind up
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back on this path.
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Whoa...
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This is weird. I'm feeling deja
vu as we speak. I've been
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feeling a lot of deja vu lately,
mostly when I'm doing something
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mundane, but I was feeling this
intense deja vu the other day
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with Deb. I swear I felt it, and
the next thing I knew, I
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predicted what she was about to
say. And then and then she said
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it.
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Weird. Jesus, maybe I have been
here before. Debra told me that
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I'm the annoying little sister
she's always wanted. Little? I'm
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eight months younger than her.
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Wise ass.
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Luisa: Mom...
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Sherry: Debra does feel like a
big sis, though, or at least
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what I thought a big sis would
be. God. Patti's face when I
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told her that I was pregnant and
the whole situation. She gave me
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that look.
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I hate that look. But maybe I
deserve it. To my surprise, Jim
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told Patti that it wasn't
anything she
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need- [Babalu cries]
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Mama's coming.
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Jim: Sweetheart, it's uncle. You
know, your uncle Jim or you
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might know me as my formal name,
James
Load full transcript
Hillman. Oh, not to be
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confused with the famous
psychologist, James Hillman.
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Just just your uncle Jim. The
one used to call and talk to,
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visit.
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Well, haven't
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heard from my girl in a while
and I was just sitting here
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wondering if you still like that
Sensodyne toothpaste. I I had a
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$2 off coupon here with your
name on it. Okay. Oh, auntie
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says we're going to dinner soon.
That'll be nice.
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Alrighty. Bye bye.
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Dad on Elevator: Hold the
elevator, please. Thank you.
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Daughter on Elevator: Daddy, we
almost missed the elevator.
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Dad on Elevator: I know, hon.
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Luisa: Floor?
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Dad on Elevator: Oh, 10, please.
Thank you.
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Daughter on Elevator: I can
count to 10. I can count to 100.
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Dad on Elevator: I know you can
because you're so smart.
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Daughter on Elevator: Can I show
you?
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Dad on Elevator: Yes. But
quietly.
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Daughter on Elevator: Okay?
Okay. Miss, I can count to 100.
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Luisa: You can?
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Daughter on Elevator: Yeah.
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My dad taught me.
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Luisa: That's wonderful.
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Daughter on Elevator: Can I show
you?
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Luisa: Oh, next time?
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Daughter on Elevator: Yeah. Next
time.
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Dad on Elevator: Have a good
one.
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Luisa: You too.
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Daughter on Elevator: Daddy,
count with
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me. One.
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Dad on Elevator: Two.
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Simone: No.
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No. No. No. Yeah. I bet he does.
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Come in. Sorry. Almost done.
Look, Val. I can whip up some
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magic, but I can't work
miracles.
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Michael's a good writer, but
he's not Stephen King. Okay?
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Uh-huh. Yeah. You can absolutely
tell him I said that.
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Simone: Okay. Okay. Uh-huh. Bye.
I'm so sorry, Luisa.
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This writer, let's just say he's
a PITA: pain in the a--
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Luisa: Yeah. I can imagine.
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Simone: Men. Am I right? Yeah.
Anyway, back to
you. Contracts
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all signed.
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Luisa: Yep. All done.
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Simone: Are you so excited?
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Luisa: I'm so excited.
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Simone: Luisa, you ready to
write a bestseller?
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Luisa: I'm ready to write.
Whether or not it's a bestseller
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is up to the universe.
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Simone: It's a bestseller, my
friend. Trust me. You trust me?
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Luisa: I trust you.
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Simone: Good. I would never
steer you wrong. Now did you
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have a chance to read the brief
about Gloria?
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Luisa: Yes. Oh my god. What a
tragic and courageous woman. I
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I'm I'm so honored to be able
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to work on this.
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Simone: Oh, it's so sad. That's
why it's gonna be a bestseller.
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I'm gonna have a courier drop
off all the notes and research
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and whatnot that we have left
over from our previous writers,
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which you
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can take or leave.
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Luisa: Oh, previous writers?
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Simone: Oh, we've had a couple
writers come and go on this
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project. They weren't the right
fit. You know?
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Luisa: Sure.
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Simone: But that's okay because
we learned from that, and now we
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have you. Yay!
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Luisa: Yay.
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Simone: Like I said, Gloria is a
force to be reckoned with. I
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mean, of course, she is. She
survived the massacre of her own
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family for god's sake.
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Luisa: Right.
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Simone: But I don't doubt for
one second that you are the
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person for this project. Third
time's a charm. Right?
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Luisa: Right.
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Simone: Have you watched her
docuseries yet, On the Linoleum
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Floor?
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Luisa: Not yet, but it's on my
list.
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Simone: I think it's trending in
Netflix's top five. People are
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gobbling it up. Definitely give
it a watch.
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Luisa: I yes. I think I'll wait
to
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watch it until after I have my
first meeting with her so that
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she's my
frame of reference.
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You know?
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Simone: So how familiar are you
with Gloria's story?
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Luisa: As of right now, my only
reference is what's outlined in
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the brief. I'm a bad millennial.
I don't really watch a whole lot
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of true crime, but this is the
part I love the most about
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writing nonfiction, the
discovery.
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Simone: Yes.
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Yes. See, I knew you were right
for this. I can already see the
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pages in my head. But seriously,
you gotta watch the docuseries.
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It's traumatizing.
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Luisa: With a title like "On the
Linoleum Floor", I wouldn't
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expect anything less.
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Simone: Oh my god. Yes. So
that's a reference to how she
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was well, I'll let you discover
that for yourself.
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Luisa: I appreciate it.
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Simone: I'm telling you, Luisa,
bestseller.
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Okay. I gotta jet to my next
meeting.
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Here. I'll walk you out.
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Luisa: Okay.
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Simone: So any last questions
before we part ways?
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Luisa: Just one.
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Simone: Mhmm.
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Luisa: Do you have any advice
for my first meeting with
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Gloria?
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Simone: Great question.
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Dani: Simone, your 2:30 is in
the conference room.
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Simone: Oh, thanks, Dani. My
advice for you.
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Luisa: Oh.
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Simone: Don't take anything she
says personally. So great seeing
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you, Luisa.
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Talk soon. Okay. Bye.
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Luisa: Okay... Bye.
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Jim: Hello.
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Luisa: Uncle.
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Jim: So you do remember me?
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Luisa: Yes, uncle.
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Jim: You calling about the
coupon?
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Luisa: Not exactly.
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Jim: No. But you'll take the
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coupon.
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Luisa: Sure.
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Jim: I'll leave it at the shop
for the next time you stop by.
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How are doing on toilet paper?
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Luisa: Good. I think I'm good.
Are you clipping coupons as we
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speak?
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Jim: Yes. I'm gonna give you
this coupon for $3 off any
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Charmin toilet paper. And no
such thing as too much TP. So
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what's shaking, kid?
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Luisa: Oh, not much. You know,
just getting myself situated for
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the memoir job, and that's
pretty much it.
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Jim: Yeah?
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Luisa: Yeah.
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Jim: And that's going good?
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Luisa: Yeah. It's just, you
know, taking up a lot of my time
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these days.
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Jim: Well, I know you're a big
deal now, but you forget us
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little people.
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Luisa: I'm not a big deal, and I
can never forget you.
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Jim: Promise?
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Luisa: Promise.
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Jim: Good.
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Hey. Where are we going out for
dinner?
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Luisa: Where do you wanna go?
Cheesecake Factory?
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Jim: You know I love their
pumpernickel bread.
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Luisa: Oh, yes. So good.
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Jim: Hey. How about Hamburger
Helper?
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Luisa: For dinner?
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Jim: Yes. No.
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For for for you. I I've got a
buy one, get one free coupon for
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a hamburger helper. You still
like the beef stroganoff? You
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loved that as a kid.
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Luisa: Uncle, my taste has
matured since then.
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Jim: So no coupon?
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Luisa: Yeah. I'll take the
coupon.
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Jim: Yeah. Yeah.
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Dropping it into the coupon
pile. ["Geronimo" whistle]
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Stroganoff is the best hamburger
helper flavor.
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Luisa: Stroganoff is the best
hamburger helper flavor.
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Jim: Cheesecake Factory then.
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Luisa: Whatever you and auntie
want.
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Jim: Well, we wanna celebrate
our girl. That's what we want.
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Doesn't matter where.
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Luisa: I know.
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Hey, uncle. Did auntie tell you
about my car accident?
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Jim: Oh, the fender bender?
Yeah. Is everything alright?
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Luisa: Yeah. No. Everything's
fine. Insurance folks are, you
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know, working everything out. I
I was just curious if auntie
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mentioned the person who hit me.
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Jim: I I don't think so.
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Luisa: Oh, well, it's this
woman, Debra. She actually knew
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my mom. They were friends in
school. This is wild. Right?
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Like?
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Jim: Really? Wow. That's yeah.
That's something else.
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Luisa: Yeah. Anyway, she also
met auntie, like, way back when.
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You don't remember her?
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Jim: I no. I can't say I do.
When you get to my age, you just
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Luisa: I I know. I I was just
curious.
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So what else is shaking?
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Jim: Not a whole lot, kid. Just
living the dream.
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Luisa: You're distracted by
coupons again.
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Jim: I hit the jackpot. Oh.
Yeah. Buy one LaCroix 12 pack.
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Get one free.
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Luisa: Oh.
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Jim: You taking it?
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Luisa: You know I love LaCroix.
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Jim: It's going in the pile.
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Sherry: I've been thinking a lot
about chance lately. Chance
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encounters, all the choices, big
or small, that had to be made or
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not made in order for two
strangers to cross paths. Why do
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we cross paths with hundreds,
maybe thousands of people in our
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00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:15,095
lifetime and connect emotionally
with only a select few if we're
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lucky. And why do we have that
spark, that romantic jolt of
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electricity with an even smaller
group of people, at least for
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me. I've only felt that with
maybe a handful of people.
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The first time I ever felt it
was with Sam.
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Luisa: Sam?
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00:12:40,335 --> 00:12:48,255
Sherry: And that was unexpected.
I wish things could have been
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00:12:48,255 --> 00:12:53,700
different. An older couple came
into the bar tonight.
239
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:58,180
I think they were in their
seventies, eighties. Anyway,
240
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,780
I've never seen them before, and
everyone kinda stopped and
241
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:06,885
looked at them because they just
looked so out of place. I've
242
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:10,645
been at Rick's for a few years
now, and I cannot say that I've
243
00:13:10,645 --> 00:13:15,365
ever seen an elderly couple come
in, especially like these two.
244
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:25,400
They were so cute, like, dressed
to the nines. The guy had on,
245
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:31,240
like, a three piece suit, and
the woman had the cutest pillbox
246
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,200
hat sitting on top of her
bouffant hairdo.
247
00:13:35,905 --> 00:13:40,465
They were something else. I
couldn't take my eyes off of
248
00:13:40,465 --> 00:13:45,185
them. I'm watching these two
elderly adults look at each
249
00:13:45,185 --> 00:13:49,690
other like they were teenagers
in love. And I thought, is this
250
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:52,970
new love? Or like, did they meet
recently?
251
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:57,530
Or are they like high school
sweethearts who never lost that
252
00:13:57,530 --> 00:14:02,985
spark? There's a magic to it
though. That spark you feel with
253
00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:11,625
someone, it's special and rare.
When I was a kid, my dad told me
254
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:15,580
that he felt that spark only
once in his life and it was when
255
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:20,460
he met my mother. And he said
that spark was the best and the
256
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,460
worst thing that ever happened
to him.
257
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:28,125
And then he laughed because at
the time it was funny. Little
258
00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:35,885
did he know. So, yeah, I know
what you mean now, Dad. It's
259
00:14:35,885 --> 00:14:39,645
called a spark for a reason. It
burns.
260
00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:49,550
Can you imagine a man from China
meets a woman from Vietnam in
261
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:55,565
Los Angeles, California on a
bus? A bus that she wasn't even
262
00:14:55,565 --> 00:15:01,245
supposed to be on. What are the
chances? Maybe this deja vu I
263
00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:06,445
keep feeling isn't a feeling.
Maybe it's history repeating
264
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:06,845
itself.
265
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:13,020
A friendly reminder from fate
that we never had a choice.
266
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,700
Trey: I definitely identify with
AJ.
267
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,685
Luisa: I don't know. You feel
more like a Nick Carter to me.
268
00:15:22,685 --> 00:15:25,885
Trey: Nick Carter? The worst
Backstreet Boy?
269
00:15:25,885 --> 00:15:30,285
Luisa: I'm sorry. Excuse me. Not
sure I heard you correctly?
270
00:15:30,285 --> 00:15:35,565
Trey: I said Nick Carter is the
worst Backstreet-- Like, good.
271
00:15:35,565 --> 00:15:39,000
Everyone, gather. He's the
worst. Change my mind.
272
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:39,400
Luisa: Okay.
273
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,360
First of all, there's no such
thing as the worst Backstreet
274
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:50,360
boy. They all have their merits.
Second, AJ was the bad boy. No
275
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,085
offense, but you don't come off
as the bad boy type. You don't
276
00:15:54,085 -->
00:15:55,525
even have a pierced ear.
277
00:15:55,765 --> 00:16:00,725
Trey: I'm a bad boy at heart?
Okay. Hear me out. AJ was like
278
00:16:00,725 --> 00:16:02,885
the deep, soulful one of the
group.
279
00:16:02,885 --> 00:16:03,045
Luisa: Mhmm.
280
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:03,525
Trey: Like, if look
281
00:16:03,525 --> 00:16:05,770
Trey: into his eyes, you'd think
this guy has layers. Am I right?
282
00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:06,650
Luisa: He totally did.
283
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:09,690
Trey: Okay. You see what I'm
saying? In that sense, I am like
284
00:16:09,690 --> 00:16:13,770
AJ, not some basic ass Nick
Carter.
285
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:20,465
Luisa: Okay. I see. Well, I'd be
a bit more convinced if you at
286
00:16:20,465 --> 00:16:21,505
least had a tattoo.
287
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:22,945
Trey: Oh, I have a giant back
tattoo.
288
00:16:22,945 --> 00:16:23,425
Luisa: Really?
289
00:16:23,425 --> 00:16:24,705
Trey: I do not. Do you?
290
00:16:24,705 --> 00:16:25,265
Luisa: No.
291
00:16:25,425 --> 00:16:27,265
Trey: Yeah. I'm not a fan of
needles.
292
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:30,545
Luisa: I'm not a fan of having
something tattooed on my body
293
00:16:30,545 --> 00:16:31,185
forever.
294
00:16:31,505 --> 00:16:34,160
Trey: I don't know. I'd like to
get a tattoo one day.
295
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,240
Luisa: Yeah. What would you get?
296
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:41,120
Trey: Oh, probably something
dedicated to my dad and my mom.
297
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,320
Luisa: That's sweet. You all
must be very close then?
298
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,065
Trey: Yeah. I'm really close to
my dad. My mom and I were close
299
00:16:48,065 --> 00:16:49,185
too before she passed.
300
00:16:49,825 --> 00:16:51,105
Luisa: I'm so sorry.
301
00:16:51,105 --> 00:16:53,025
Trey: Oh, I was nine. It was a
long time ago.
302
00:16:53,425 --> 00:16:57,505
Luisa: It doesn't matter how
long ago it was. Loss is always
303
00:16:57,505 --> 00:17:00,145
hard even when you're so young.
304
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:03,980
Trey: Sometimes I think I
haven't really processed it, if
305
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:04,860
that makes sense.
306
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:06,700
Luisa: It does.
307
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:11,340
Trey: I mean, was just a normal
day. Right? She drove me to
308
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:17,895
school. She said, see you later.
And then she went to work, and,
309
00:17:18,615 --> 00:17:19,815
she had a heart attack.
310
00:17:20,695 --> 00:17:22,135
Luisa: Trey, that's
311
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:22,935
Trey: No. Sorry.
312
00:17:22,935 --> 00:17:23,415
Luisa: That's awful.
313
00:17:23,415 --> 00:17:25,655
Trey: I don't wanna bring down
the vibes. Sorry.
314
00:17:25,895 --> 00:17:27,815
Luisa: No. You're not. We're
talking.
315
00:17:28,295 --> 00:17:32,540
Trey: Okay. Thank you. Well,
since then, it's just been me
316
00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:34,380
and my dad. You know? He's my
dude.
317
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:43,740
My mom, she was stellar. So when
I get my big back tattoo, it'll
318
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:44,715
be in their honor.
319
00:17:46,075 --> 00:17:48,555
Luisa: I'm sure your parents
would be so proud.
320
00:17:48,555 --> 00:17:51,355
Trey: How about you?
321
00:17:51,355 --> 00:17:52,795
You close with your mom and dad?
322
00:17:53,435 --> 00:17:55,435
Luisa: Yeah. We're close.
323
00:17:55,835 --> 00:17:56,715
Trey: That's good.
324
00:17:56,715 --> 00:17:59,660
Not a lot of folks have that,
you know, good relationship with
325
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:00,380
their parents.
326
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:01,340
Luisa: Yeah.
327
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,340
Trey: Got any siblings?
328
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:05,900
Luisa: No. I'm an only child
too.
329
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:07,420
Trey: Well, explains a lot.
330
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,460
Luisa: What do you mean?
331
00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:11,580
Trey: You got that only child
vibe.
332
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:12,805
Luisa: And what does that mean?
333
00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:14,565
Trey: Oh, just that
334
00:18:14,645 --> 00:18:18,005
you're smart, hot, and you're
fucked up like me.
335
00:18:18,005 --> 00:18:19,525
Luisa: Wait. You think I'm hot?
336
00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:20,725
Trey: You think I'm hot?
337
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,005
Luisa: I asked you first.
338
00:18:22,565 --> 00:18:23,845
Trey: Yes. I think you're hot.
339
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,850
Luisa: Nice. Also, what makes
you think I'm fucked up?
340
00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,850
Trey: Wait. You have to answer
my question.
341
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,810
Luisa: Yes. I think you're hot.
342
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:32,690
Trey: Hell yeah.
343
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:35,970
Luisa: Seriously, though. Do I
give off fucked up vibes?
344
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,545
Trey: You know, based on the
little information I have about
345
00:18:38,545 --> 00:18:42,865
you so far, yes, a bit. But the
best people are.
346
00:18:43,425 --> 00:18:44,225
Luisa: I guess.
347
00:18:44,225 --> 00:18:46,865
Trey: You wouldn't be a good
writer if you weren't at least a
348
00:18:46,865 --> 00:18:47,585
little fucked up.
349
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:48,145
Luisa: How do you know
350
00:18:48,145 --> 00:18:49,025
that I'm a good writer?
351
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:50,785
Trey: Because you have a deal
with a big publisher.
352
00:18:50,785 --> 00:18:53,560
Luisa: Maybe I'm a crap writer
who got lucky. That happens a
353
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,040
lot.
354
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,960
Trey: Nah. You're a good writer.
I can tell. Here. I'll prove it.
355
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:58,680
One sec.
356
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,320
Luisa: What are you looking for?
357
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,360
Trey: Shut up. Shut up. Hey,
boss. Do you got a pen I could
358
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:04,840
borrow?
359
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,280
Bartender: Sure.
360
00:19:06,995 --> 00:19:07,875
Trey: Thank you.
361
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:10,355
Luisa: What what's happening
here?
362
00:19:10,995 --> 00:19:14,275
Trey: So this is a napkin. This
is a pen. You might have
363
00:19:14,275 --> 00:19:15,235
encountered them before.
364
00:19:15,235 --> 00:19:15,555
Luisa: Mhmm.
365
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:19,475
Trey: I bet you could write
something beautiful with just
366
00:19:19,475 --> 00:19:19,715
this.
367
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:23,090
Luisa: You want me to write
something beautiful on this
368
00:19:23,090 --> 00:19:23,490
napkin?
369
00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:24,130
Trey: I do.
370
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:28,610
Luisa: Oh, okay. Should I also
stand up and do a tap dance
371
00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:29,330
while I'm at it?
372
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:31,490
Trey: Oh, sure. If that sounds
fun. Come on. Just write
373
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,010
something, anything.
374
00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:33,890
Luisa: For what?
375
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:34,370
Trey: For
376
00:19:35,145 --> 00:19:38,025
me to keep. As, like a token.
377
00:19:38,105 --> 00:19:39,785
Luisa: Are you being serious
right now?
378
00:19:39,785 --> 00:19:40,825
Trey: Dead serious.
379
00:19:41,065 --> 00:19:42,505
Come on. Just a
380
00:19:42,505 --> 00:19:44,025
little something. Maybe a poem.
381
00:19:44,025 --> 00:19:44,905
Luisa: Now you want a poem?
382
00:19:44,905 --> 00:19:46,505
Trey: It doesn't have to, like,
rhyme.
383
00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:46,905
I don't know.
384
00:19:46,905 --> 00:19:47,970
Luisa: I'm not a poet.
385
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:49,970
Trey: Well, I I don't know. I
think there's something poetic
386
00:19:49,970 --> 00:19:50,770
about you.
387
00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:58,690
Luisa: If that's the case, then
you write something.
388
00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:01,155
Trey: Well, I'm I'm not the
writer.
389
00:20:01,155 --> 00:20:04,915
Luisa: Everyone's a writer.
Also, aren't you a product
390
00:20:04,915 --> 00:20:07,315
marketing, what? Product, what
did you say your title was?
391
00:20:07,235 --> 00:20:08,355
Trey: Product marketing manager.
392
00:20:08,355 --> 00:20:10,995
Luisa: Yes. Product marketing
manager. You're telling me that
393
00:20:10,995 --> 00:20:12,115
you don't have to write for that
job?
394
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,880
Trey: Okay.
395
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:15,240
Luisa: Mhmm.
396
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,280
Trey: Don't look. I gotta
concentrate. Okay.
397
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:20,760
Luisa: Oh,
398
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:33,885
not so easy. What you working on
over there?
399
00:20:33,885 --> 00:20:35,885
Trey: You don't don't ask
questions you know the
400
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:36,205
answers to.
401
00:20:41,650 --> 00:20:42,610
Luisa: Can I look now?
402
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:45,890
Trey: Almost. Mhmm. Keep singing
game show songs. That's helpful.
403
00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:46,370
Okay.
404
00:20:46,450 --> 00:20:46,850
Okay.
405
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:48,130
Luisa: See? It's not easy, huh?
406
00:20:48,930 -->
00:20:52,425
Trey: Yes. I think this could be
my Sistine Chapel.
407
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:53,385
Luisa: Ohh hot dog.
408
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,185
Trey: You ready?
409
00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:54,585
Luisa: Yeah.
410
00:20:54,585 --> 00:20:54,825
Trey: K.
411
00:20:54,825 --> 00:20:58,345
Close your eyes. Okay. Open.
412
00:20:59,385 --> 00:21:04,345
Luisa: "She's a mango woman. I'm
a mango man, and AJ is the best
413
00:21:04,345 --> 00:21:08,910
Backstreet Boy." This is your
Sistine Chapel.
414
00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:09,710
Trey: Thank you.
415
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,310
Luisa: Also, can I just say that
I appreciate that you wore a
416
00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:14,190
Hawaiian shirt?
417
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,870
Trey: Thank you for finally
noticing.
418
00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:18,350
Luisa: It's the first thing I
noticed when I saw you.
419
00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:21,305
Trey: I mean, I get it. When I
see a sexy man in Hawaiian
420
00:21:21,305 --> 00:21:22,825
shirt, my mind goes blank too.
421
00:21:22,825 --> 00:21:24,185
Luisa: That's not at all what I
said.
422
00:21:24,185 --> 00:21:25,225
Trey: You insinuated it.
423
00:21:25,225 --> 00:21:27,865
Luisa: I think you've had too
many mango coladas.
424
00:21:27,945 --> 00:21:33,385
Trey: That is possible. This has
been fun.
425
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:34,840
Luisa: Do you have to run?
426
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:35,800
Trey: No. No. No. No. Sorry.
427
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:39,160
I'm just saying, this was, this
is fun.
428
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,520
Luisa: Very fun.
429
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:46,600
Trey: Can I tell you something?
I I I hope it doesn't... I see a
430
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,480
therapist.
431
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:48,920
Luisa: That's great.
432
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,815
Trey: One of the things I've
been working on with her is
433
00:21:52,295 --> 00:21:53,895
situations like tonight.
434
00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:54,695
Luisa: Okay.
435
00:21:54,695 --> 00:21:59,095
Trey: I sometimes get this
anxiety. Kinda hard to explain.
436
00:21:59,895 --> 00:22:04,455
I was close to texting you and
bailing on you tonight. And now
437
00:22:04,455 --> 00:22:06,240
sitting here, that seems...
438
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,960
Luisa: I'm glad you didn't.
439
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,360
Trey: I'm glad you left your
mangoes behind.
440
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,240
Luisa: Yeah.
441
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,280
What are the chances?
442
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:22,185
So what's the title of your
masterpiece?
443
00:22:22,345 --> 00:22:25,385
Trey: "Mango Woman."
444
00:22:25,465 --> 00:22:28,745
Luisa: Mango Woman. I like it.
445
00:22:28,745 --> 00:22:30,025
Trey: Me too.
446
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:40,070
Luisa: Reina, I'm just driving
home from my date. It was a
447
00:22:40,070 --> 00:22:47,165
really good date. He was fun and
funny, like legit funny and
448
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:51,645
vulnerable. Think I like this
guy. Fuck.
449
00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:55,325
Anyway, let's catch up soon.
There's some interesting
450
00:22:55,325 --> 00:23:00,980
developments from my mom's
tapes. God. Let's just say the
451
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,700
last twenty four hours have been
a lot of highs and a lot of
452
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,340
lows. Anyway, call me whenever.
453
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:06,900
Love you.
454
00:23:14,545 --> 00:23:22,545
Sherry: It's raining. You see
that, Babalu? That's rain. Rain.
455
00:23:22,625 --> 00:23:23,505
Listen.
456
00:23:26,145 --> 00:23:34,000
It's so nice, baby girl? Mama
loves a rainy day. Yeah. You
457
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,440
like the rain too?
458
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:38,640
Luisa: I love it.
459
00:23:46,465 --> 00:23:52,785
Oh, hi, doggy. You protecting?
Yeah. You protecting. After all,
460
00:23:52,785 --> 00:23:53,745
this is your territory.
461
00:23:53,745 --> 00:23:55,585
You're just doing your job.
462
00:23:55,985 --> 00:23:57,265
But I need to come in, sweet
dog.
463
00:23:57,730 --> 00:24:01,010
Gloria: Come here. Hush up now.
464
00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:03,730
Luisa: Spock? What a cute name.
465
00:24:03,890 --> 00:24:05,650
Gloria: He looks like Spock,
doesn't he?
466
00:24:05,650 --> 00:24:06,930
Luisa: He actually does.
467
00:24:07,650 --> 00:24:09,010
Gloria: Luisa, I presume.
468
00:24:09,810 --> 00:24:10,770
Good boy.
469
00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,815
Luisa: Your presumption is
correct. It's so good to meet
470
00:24:13,815 --> 00:24:14,615
you, Gloria.
471
00:24:15,175 --> 00:24:23,815
Gloria: Is it? Come. Follow me.
Luisa, I don't allow just anyone
472
00:24:23,815 --> 00:24:27,140
into my home. So have a seat
here.
473
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:31,060
I'll be right back. Spock, keep
our guest company.
474
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,420
Luisa: You're just a little
softy, aren't you?
475
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:41,035
Yeah. You're just a little
softy. Hi...
476
00:24:45,675 --> 00:24:47,275
Gloria: You like lemonade,
Luisa?
477
00:24:47,355 --> 00:24:49,435
Luisa: I'm not a monster, so
yes.
478
00:24:49,915 --> 00:24:52,395
Gloria: Well, I'm sure even
monsters enjoy a glass of
479
00:24:52,395 --> 00:24:53,115
lemonade.
480
00:24:53,195 --> 00:24:54,315
Luisa: You're probably right.
481
00:24:55,650 --> 00:24:59,570
Gloria: I am right. Monsters
love the same things the rest of
482
00:24:59,570 --> 00:25:09,330
us do. Lemonade, dogs, sunshine,
music. They just love the bad
483
00:25:09,330 --> 00:25:14,155
stuff too. You ever encountered
a monster, Luisa?
484
00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:17,115
Luisa: I'm not sure.
485
00:25:18,795 --> 00:25:26,530
Gloria: I'm sure you have. Evil
is everywhere. You know, in
486
00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:29,730
Cheyenne culture, they warn
against allowing strangers into
487
00:25:29,730 --> 00:25:33,410
your home willy nilly in case
that person may be carrying in
488
00:25:33,410 --> 00:25:37,490
some evil. Evil they may not
even be aware they possess.
489
00:25:38,690 --> 00:25:42,665
What about you, Luisa? You got
any evil on you?
490
00:25:44,025 --> 00:25:52,505
Luisa: Well, I sure hope not.
But I don't know. I I don't
491
00:25:52,505 --> 00:25:57,560
believe anyone's entirely good
or entirely bad. Good people do
492
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,240
bad things. Bad people do good
things.
493
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,840
I hope that I'm one of the good
people who occasionally does bad
494
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,600
things, but who can say for
sure?
495
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,615
Gloria: Right on. You're from
LA?
496
00:26:13,935 --> 00:26:17,055
Luisa: Yes, actually. I grew up
in the San Gabriel Valley,
497
00:26:17,135 --> 00:26:18,015
Alhambra.
498
00:26:18,255 --> 00:26:21,695
Gloria: How far did you live
from me?
499
00:26:21,775 --> 00:26:23,535
Luisa: How far did I live from
you?
500
00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:25,295
Gloria: From my family's home.
501
00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:30,130
Luisa: Oh, right. Because you
your family lived there. I don't
502
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:30,690
know.
503
00:26:30,690 --> 00:26:35,090
I I can't say I mapped it out.
Should I have?
504
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:39,315
Gloria: I'm just surprised is
all. Every single one of you
505
00:26:39,315 --> 00:26:43,235
writers that I've had the
pleasure of working with seem to
506
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:46,755
know more about my life than I
do. A bunch of armchair
507
00:26:46,755 --> 00:26:51,235
detectives who've memorized all
the facts and details about my
508
00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:51,795
life.
509
00:26:51,955 --> 00:26:54,100
Luisa: Oh, yeah. I I can see
that.
510
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:57,300
Gloria: And these so called woke
fools who are so obsessed with
511
00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:02,180
the murder of my family, yet
somehow felt triggered after
512
00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:06,180
having a simple conversation
with me. That's your generation,
513
00:27:06,180 --> 00:27:07,380
though... triggered,
514
00:27:08,305 --> 00:27:10,945
woke, weak.
515
00:27:12,065 --> 00:27:18,305
Luisa: I'm sorry that's been
your experience, but it doesn't
516
00:27:18,305 --> 00:27:25,080
surprise me. A lot of true crime
writers wanna be the next
517
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,320
Michelle McNamara, you know,
with the next true crime
518
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:41,975
bestseller, but that's not my...
Well, I'm not sure if I should
519
00:27:41,975 --> 00:27:49,335
be admitting this to you, but
I'm probably not the best person
520
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,640
for this job.
521
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,000
Gloria: Is that right?
522
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,320
Luisa: I mean, don't get me
wrong.
523
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:58,360
I'm a solid writer, at least I
think I am, and I want to work
524
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:03,875
on your life story, but I'm not
a true crime writer. And I don't
525
00:28:03,875 --> 00:28:09,875
even like the stuff. Anywho, I
was given really detailed notes
526
00:28:09,875
--> 00:28:14,115
about your history from those
writers, which I haven't read
527
00:28:14,115 --> 00:28:25,970
yet because, well, like I said,
I'm kinda scared. No. No.
528
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:30,290
Very scared, to read about that
night and what you went through.
529
00:28:30,895 --> 00:28:34,415
I'm like the only millennial
woman who doesn't fall asleep to
530
00:28:34,415 --> 00:28:40,335
the sweet sounds of a true crime
show. Frankly, that stuff makes
531
00:28:40,335 --> 00:28:47,120
my stomach turn. And I hate even
using those words, true crime,
532
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,560
to describe your story, but
that's what everyone is calling
533
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:55,360
this. So, also, I don't really
care about some other person's
534
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,835
notes because those are their
notes and not mine, and I want
535
00:28:58,835 --> 00:29:03,315
the chance to get to know you on
my own, you as a whole person,
536
00:29:03,395 --> 00:29:06,915
and not just for that traumatic
event.
537
00:29:08,595 --> 00:29:15,080
Because you and your life is so
much more than just that. And a
538
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:19,720
memoir is meant to retell the
story of a life, not just a
539
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:24,840
moment. And no. Oh my god. I I I
am not trying to diminish what
540
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:31,605
happened to you and your family
because that was horrendous. But
541
00:29:32,165 --> 00:29:36,405
it's not your whole story, nor
should it be.
542
00:29:37,765 --> 00:29:40,485
At least, that's my take.
543
00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:44,245
Gloria: Well, alright. How's
the lemonade?
544
00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:52,700
Luisa: It's fantastic. Thank
you. Oh, shoot. I forgot. Do you
545
00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:54,620
mind if I record our sessions?
546
00:29:57,660 --> 00:29:59,345
Gloria: Are you serious?
547
00:29:59,665 --> 00:30:00,545
Luisa: Yes.
548
00:30:01,425 --> 00:30:06,145
Gloria: No. No. About that. Why
on earth are you recording on
549
00:30:06,145 --> 00:30:09,105
that, not on your phone like all
these other kids?
550
00:30:09,905 --> 00:30:12,760
Luisa: I know. It's, uh-- I'm
actually gonna record them both
551
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:13,640
just in case one
552
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:14,200
of them fails.
553
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,320
Gloria: Let me see that.
554
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:15,800
Luisa: Oh.
555
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:21,240
Gloria: My goodness.
556
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,680
My daddy had a cassette recorder
just like this.
557
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,520
Luisa: Funny. That belonged to
my mom.
558
00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:30,685
Gloria: This thing is in really
good shape.
559
00:30:31,085 --> 00:30:35,485
Luisa: It was tucked away for
many years. If you can believe
560
00:30:35,485 --> 00:30:37,965
it, you can still buy blank
cassette tapes.
561
00:30:38,125 --> 00:30:38,925
So here I am.
562
00:30:39,660 --> 00:30:43,500
Gloria: My dad loved his
electronics. I swear, his
563
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:47,340
favorite place on earth was
Radio Shack. We'd stop there
564
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:48,220
every Saturday.
565
00:30:48,220 --> 00:30:49,820
Luisa: Oh, I'm I'm sorry. Can
I--
566
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:50,620
Gloria: Right.
567
00:30:52,235 --> 00:30:56,715
Luisa: And we are recording. So
your dad?
568
00:30:56,715 --> 00:31:02,875
Gloria: Yes, my dad. He was a
funny man. He loved his gadgets.
569
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:06,155
He always had to have the latest
doohickey to add to his
570
00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:08,950
collection. God.
571
00:31:09,190 --> 00:31:13,750
If he was alive today and see
everything we have now, he'd
572
00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,190
lose his damn mind.
573
00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:22,150
Debra: I'm not
574
00:31:21,425 --> 00:31:23,425
quite sure how I feel about this
575
00:31:23,905 --> 00:31:25,025
boba drink yet.
576
00:31:25,025 --> 00:31:27,105
Luisa: I understand. It takes
some adjustment.
577
00:31:27,105 --> 00:31:28,865
Debra: I do like the milk tea.
578
00:31:28,865 --> 00:31:29,905
Luisa: I'm glad.
579
00:31:29,905 --> 00:31:30,705
Debra: It's the
580
00:31:31,505 --> 00:31:33,585
chewing my drink part that is
giving me pause.
581
00:31:34,670 --> 00:31:35,710
Luisa: Listen, Debra.
582
00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:37,870
Luisa: I don't work for Big
Boba, so I have no skin in the
583
00:31:37,870 --> 00:31:41,150
game here. I'm just a boba
enthusiast.
584
00:31:41,150 --> 00:31:41,710
Debra: Well,
585
00:31:44,030 --> 00:31:45,550
thank you for introducing me to
it.
586
00:31:45,550 --> 00:31:46,750
Luisa: You are most welcome.
587
00:31:47,150 --> 00:31:50,845
Debra: For a split second there,
I thought you were Sherry.
588
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:52,125
Luisa: Yeah?
589
00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:54,285
Debra: I mean, of course, you
look like Sherry, but that's not
590
00:31:54,285 --> 00:31:58,045
what I'm getting at. You sound
like her. Something about the
591
00:31:58,045 --> 00:32:01,245
way you talk and the way you say
things.
592
00:32:01,645 --> 00:32:02,125
Luisa: Yeah?
593
00:32:02,125 --> 00:32:06,730
Debra: Yeah. It's it's very
sweet. Even the way your mouth
594
00:32:06,730 --> 00:32:11,690
moves when you talk reminds me
of Sher. It's surreal.
595
00:32:11,850 --> 00:32:12,570
Luisa: Mhmm.
596
00:32:13,610 --> 00:32:16,490
Luisa: Yeah. It's funny how even
minute things like that can be
597
00:32:16,490 --> 00:32:19,355
passed down. Nature versus
nurture. Am I right?
598
00:32:19,355 --> 00:32:22,555
Debra: Sometimes nature just
cannot be denied.
599
00:32:24,795 --> 00:32:29,915
Luisa: So speaking of, I've been
listening to the tapes. Right?
600
00:32:30,315 --> 00:32:35,470
And my mom has mentioned my
father, my biological father.
601
00:32:35,470 --> 00:32:39,230
Mhmm. But she didn't say much at
least in in what I've listened
602
00:32:39,230 --> 00:32:39,710
to.
603
00:32:39,710 --> 00:32:43,310
And I was hoping that maybe you
could
shed some light.
604
00:32:43,710 --> 00:32:50,555
Debra: Gosh. I don't know very
much. I do remember asking her
605
00:32:50,555 --> 00:32:53,355
about him because, you know, we
met when you were just a baby,
606
00:32:53,355 --> 00:33:04,740
and I never saw him coming or
going. All I know is that Sherry
607
00:33:04,740 --> 00:33:11,940
felt a lot of shame around that
relationship because he was
608
00:33:11,940 --> 00:33:13,140
married at the time.
609
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,060
Luisa: Yeah. She mentions that.
610
00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:15,620
Debra: Oh, okay.
611
00:33:17,265 --> 00:33:19,665
Luisa: Does the name Sam ring a
bell?
612
00:33:19,825 --> 00:33:21,105
Debra: No.
613
00:33:21,585 --> 00:33:26,065
Luisa: She mentions a Sam. Did
you ever happen to meet my
614
00:33:26,065 --> 00:33:27,105
uncle, Jim?
615
00:33:27,105 --> 00:33:27,745
Debra: Yes.
616
00:33:27,745 --> 00:33:29,425
Yes. At your your mother's
funeral.
617
00:33:31,450 --> 00:33:34,570
Luisa, this must be a lot to
process.
618
00:33:35,290 --> 00:33:36,810
Luisa: Yeah. It is.
619
00:33:36,810 --> 00:33:38,010
Debra: I'm so sorry.
620
00:33:39,210 --> 00:33:40,410
Luisa: It's okay. Sorry.
621
00:33:41,530 --> 00:33:43,930
I hope you don't think that I
invited you out just to
622
00:33:43,930 --> 00:33:44,650
interrogate you.
623
00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:47,755
Debra: No. Please. I'm glad to
shed any light I can.
624
00:33:49,275 --> 00:33:55,035
Luisa: Do you know the details
about my mother's death? I know
625
00:33:55,035 --> 00:33:59,195
that she was found in the
bathtub, but I don't really know
626
00:33:59,195 --> 00:34:02,340
much else, like if she left a
note.
627
00:34:03,540 --> 00:34:10,100
Debra: I don't know if she left
a note. But how much do you
628
00:34:10,100 --> 00:34:10,820
wanna know?
629
00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:12,580
Luisa: Everything you know.
630
00:34:13,985 --> 00:34:14,865
Debra: Again, it's
631
00:34:14,865 --> 00:34:20,625
not a whole lot. As you know,
she was found in the bath.
632
00:34:22,225 --> 00:34:23,745
Luisa: Do you know who found
her?
633
00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:26,625
Debra: Your uncle, Jim.
634
00:34:26,865 --> 00:34:27,185
Luisa: Oh.
635
00:34:28,140 --> 00:34:28,940
Debra: Her
636
00:34:29,420 --> 00:34:34,380
wrists were cut. They found a
bottle of sleeping pills nearby.
637
00:34:35,260 --> 00:34:45,125
And I... that's that's
everything I know. So, so sorry,
638
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:49,765
Luisa. I know this might be hard
to believe because I only knew
639
00:34:49,765 --> 00:34:53,765
your mother for a short time
before she passed, but Sherry
640
00:34:53,845 --> 00:34:55,205
was my best friend.
641
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,680
I wish I knew then what I know
now. Maybe I could have done
642
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,480
something different to help her.
643
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:09,000
Luisa: I don't find that hard to
believe. She talks very fondly
644
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,080
of
you, you know, on the tapes.
645
00:35:11,545 --> 00:35:12,425
Debra: She does?
646
00:35:12,585 --> 00:35:13,705
Luisa: Very much so.
647
00:35:14,425 --> 00:35:16,105
Debra: Oh, Sher.
648
00:35:17,065 --> 00:35:19,305
Luisa: You really never listened
to the tapes, not even a little
649
00:35:19,305 --> 00:35:19,865
bit?
650
00:35:19,945 --> 00:35:26,450
Debra: No, actually. Have you
ever driven home but can't
651
00:35:26,450 --> 00:35:30,050
remember how you got there? I'm
not talking about driving
652
00:35:30,050 --> 00:35:34,370
intoxicated or something like
that. I mean those moments when
653
00:35:34,370 --> 00:35:40,975
your mind and body go into
autopilot. That day that I
654
00:35:40,975 --> 00:35:45,855
cleaned out your mom's apartment
and took the tapes, I drove
655
00:35:45,855 --> 00:35:48,495
home, but I don't remember how I
got there.
656
00:35:49,295 --> 00:35:54,270
All I remember was sitting in my
car, looking over at my
657
00:35:54,270 --> 00:35:58,270
passenger seat, and seeing the
box of tapes sitting there. And
658
00:35:58,270 --> 00:36:02,830
then I took that box and put it
on the top shelf of my bedroom
659
00:36:02,830 --> 00:36:09,605
closet. I thought that one day I
would find you. And then the box
660
00:36:09,605 --> 00:36:13,365
sat in that closet until I moved
out of that apartment into the
661
00:36:13,365 --> 00:36:20,710
house I'm in now. I remember
packing my things and coming
662
00:36:20,710 --> 00:36:24,470
across the box again, and I
thought of you.
663
00:36:25,910 --> 00:36:32,245
But then I moved, and the box
went into my attic, and life
664
00:36:32,245 --> 00:36:39,285
happened. And it happened so
fast, so fast. It's as if I
665
00:36:39,285 --> 00:36:42,965
blinked and decades went by.
Everything feels like it was
666
00:36:42,965 --> 00:36:46,645
just yesterday, but also a
lifetime ago.
667
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,880
I'm sorry that I didn't try to
find you.
668
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,800
Luisa: Maybe we were meant to
find each other.
669
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:59,200
Debra: I think you're right.
Sometimes the only solution is
670
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,895
time, and maybe that's
671
00:37:01,895 --> 00:37:04,055
what was needed for both of us.
672
00:37:05,015 --> 00:37:09,255
Luisa: You know, I'm older than
my mom was when she recorded
673
00:37:09,255 --> 00:37:10,215
those tapes.
674
00:37:10,615 --> 00:37:11,335
Debra: Yes.
675
00:37:11,495 --> 00:37:14,455
Luisa: Yet, in a lot of ways, I
still feel like a big baby.
676
00:37:15,530 --> 00:37:21,290
Debra: Trust me. That never goes
away. Are you trying to find
677
00:37:21,290 --> 00:37:22,010
your father?
678
00:37:23,210 --> 00:37:29,065
Luisa: I don't know. Maybe. Is
it weird that throughout the
679
00:37:29,065 --> 00:37:30,905
years, I never really thought
about him?
680
00:37:31,225 --> 00:37:32,745
Debra: Why do you think that's
weird?
681
00:37:33,225 --> 00:37:37,225
Luisa: I just feel like people
in my situation who don't grow
682
00:37:37,225 --> 00:37:40,665
up with their biological
parents, they tend to think
683
00:37:40,665 --> 00:37:45,570
about them, fantasize about
them, romanticize them, and I've
684
00:37:45,570 --> 00:37:49,570
always, always thought about my
mom, but I may have thought
685
00:37:49,570 --> 00:37:54,465
about my father a handful of
times. Give me your professional
686
00:37:54,465 --> 00:37:57,025
opinion here. Am I a psychopath
or something?
687
00:37:57,425 --> 00:38:03,825
Debra: I don't think that's the
case. But maybe it's worth
688
00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:08,490
exploring what a fatherly figure
means to you and who may have
689
00:38:08,490 --> 00:38:10,570
already fulfilled that role in
your life.
690
00:38:11,370 --> 00:38:12,090
Luisa: Yeah.
691
00:38:12,410 --> 00:38:15,690
Debra: And look, it's perfectly
okay if you do wanna find him
692
00:38:15,690 --> 00:38:17,930
now or if you don't.
693
00:38:18,250 --> 00:38:18,650
Luisa: Right.
694
00:38:20,905 --> 00:38:24,185
Debra: I would like to ask you a
personal question that is a
695
00:38:24,185 --> 00:38:27,225
question for you to answer for
yourself, not me.
696
00:38:27,225 --> 00:38:27,945
Luisa: Shoot.
697
00:38:28,505 --> 00:38:33,065
Debra: Have you ever considered
working with a therapist to help
698
00:38:33,065 --> 00:38:35,145
process and unpack all of this?
699
00:38:35,540 --> 00:38:40,740
Luisa: Oh, I mean, I don't mind
answering that for you. No. I
700
00:38:40,740 --> 00:38:44,100
haven't because I am a
psychopath.
701
00:38:44,740 --> 00:38:49,140
Debra: Well, of course, I'm
biased, but I encourage you to
702
00:38:49,140 --> 00:38:50,100
think about it.
703
00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:51,460
Luisa: Are you taking new
clients?
704
00:38:52,475 --> 00:38:55,595
Debra: Yes. But you can't be one
of them. It's unethical to work
705
00:38:55,595 --> 00:38:57,595
with anyone I have a personal
connection to.
706
00:38:58,075 --> 00:39:01,275
Luisa: Yeah. But you already
know a lot of the history, so I
707
00:39:01,275 --> 00:39:04,235
don't have to spend all that
time and money retelling it to
708
00:39:04,235 --> 00:39:07,160
someone new, which is super
convenient.
709
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,840
Debra: Convenience isn't
710
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:09,560
the goal.
711
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,560
Luisa: I suppose you're right.
712
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:17,160
Debra: So I think I'm starting
to enjoy this boba.
713
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:17,960
Luisa: Oh, yeah?
714
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:18,600
Debra: Mhmm.
715
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,825
Luisa: The bosses at Big Boba
will be so delighted.
716
00:39:21,825 --> 00:39:22,465
Debra: Mhmm.
717
00:39:29,025 --> 00:39:33,105
Sherry: Ugh, I hate poetry. I
mean, I don't hate poetry. I
718
00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:36,490
just don't like this poetry
class. I mean, I do like this
719
00:39:36,490 --> 00:39:40,010
class. It's just hard, I guess.
720
00:39:40,570 --> 00:39:44,490
Here, I was thinking, oh, yeah.
Poetry. No problem. Easy street.
721
00:39:44,810 --> 00:39:46,490
Check off the elective box.
722
00:39:47,050 --> 00:39:52,685
But I'm no poet. We were given a
simple assignment for this week,
723
00:39:52,685 --> 00:39:57,165
a simple four line stanza about
anything. This should be easy.
724
00:39:57,165 --> 00:39:59,725
Right? But but I'm really
struggling.
725
00:40:00,810 --> 00:40:09,530
This class is kicking my ass.
God... Class... Ass... I guess I
726
00:40:09,530 --> 00:40:11,210
am a poet. I don't know.
727
00:40:13,765 --> 00:40:18,085
I keep rereading this poem we
read in class, Chinatown Talking
728
00:40:18,085 --> 00:40:27,410
Story by Kitty Tsui. "Born into
the skin of yellow women, we are
729
00:40:27,410 --> 00:40:34,610
born into the armor of
warriors." I've never felt like
730
00:40:34,610 --> 00:40:40,235
a warrior. I've been forced to
fight in ways that I didn't ever
731
00:40:40,235 --> 00:40:47,435
think I'd have to. Maybe that's
the message, that it's inherent
732
00:40:47,435 --> 00:40:50,155
to us to have to fight all the
time.
733
00:40:52,460 --> 00:40:56,460
This poem got me thinking about
my mother. She was a fighter.
734
00:40:58,220 --> 00:41:02,940
Maybe if she had stayed, things
would have been different. Maybe
735
00:41:02,940 --> 00:41:08,755
she wouldn't have let Patti be
so awful. I don't know why this
736
00:41:08,755 --> 00:41:10,675
memory popped into my head
earlier.
737
00:41:10,755 --> 00:41:15,155
I must have been a freshman in
high school. I came home from
738
00:41:15,155 --> 00:41:17,715
school one day and Patti was
waiting in the living room for
739
00:41:17,715 --> 00:41:23,760
me. And I'm thinking, here we
go. And she's asking to see my
740
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:28,480
report card, all authoritative
like she is. So I said something
741
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,160
along the lines of, "no, that's
for dad, not you."
742
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,840
And I started to walk away and
suddenly I'm getting yanked
743
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,795
back. She grabbed me by my
ponytail, and now she's
744
00:41:38,795 --> 00:41:41,595
screaming, "Give me your report
card, give me your report card!"
745
00:41:41,595 --> 00:41:45,515
like some lunatic. So I'm
screaming, "No, no!"
746
00:41:46,075 --> 00:41:48,875
And we're basically yanking each
other's hair out. And finally, I
747
00:41:48,875 --> 00:41:52,680
throw my book bag at her just to
get her off of me, And her eyes,
748
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:59,240
they were so wild, like she was
possessed. She was hell bent on
749
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:02,440
finding that report card,
tearing through my bag, ripping
750
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:06,435
apart my folders and notebooks.
And of course, she found it.
751
00:42:07,715 --> 00:42:08,435
God.
752
00:42:09,715 --> 00:42:13,395
The look of satisfaction on her
face when she saw my grades,
753
00:42:14,435 --> 00:42:19,380
that they weren't perfect
straight A's like hers. I'll
754
00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:23,140
never forget how she looked down
at me and said, "You're just
755
00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:29,380
like her." That year was the
first time I ever fantasized
756
00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:34,025
about killing myself. I've
thought about it since, but not
757
00:42:34,025 --> 00:42:38,905
as much. I can't keep blaming
Patti.
758
00:42:39,545 --> 00:42:47,610
She's changed. She's not a total
monster. Funny enough, I think
759
00:42:47,610 --> 00:42:53,050
Patti was on to something. Maybe
I am just like my mother.
760
00:42:54,650 --> 00:42:56,810
[hum-sings] She's never
satisfied...
761
00:43:00,075 --> 00:43:03,995
I think that's why our dad fell
in love with her. She was always
762
00:43:03,995 --> 00:43:10,315
just out of reach. Isn't that
life, though? Falling for the
763
00:43:10,315 --> 00:43:16,080
ones who won't love us, can't
love us, the way we love them.
764
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:24,720
Like Patti, she loves Jim so
much, married him after just a
765
00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:25,600
few months of dating.
766
00:43:26,375 --> 00:43:31,495
All she wants is to make Jim
happy. And Jim, well, he
767
00:43:31,495 --> 00:43:32,215
wants...
768
00:43:33,415 --> 00:43:33,975
me.
769
00:43:34,615 --> 00:43:35,655
Luisa: Wait. What?
770
00:43:35,975 --> 00:43:41,070
Sherry: God. Those two. They
were made for each other. They
771
00:43:41,070 --> 00:43:47,230
both love to torture me. See,
this is why I'm starting to
772
00:43:47,230 --> 00:43:48,430
believe in fate.
773
00:43:49,390 --> 00:43:56,805
Everything just feels out of my
control. Ugh, it's late. I
774
00:43:56,805 --> 00:44:00,565
really gotta get going on this
stupid poem. Coffee time.
775
00:44:05,365 --> 00:44:09,205
[singing] This is what it sounds
like... when doves cry.
776
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,200
Credits Narrator: Babalu was
created, written, and produced
777
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:21,880
by me, Kimberly Truong. Directed
by Katharine Chen Lerner. Sound
778
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:26,065
design, editing, and mixing by
Charles Moody. With performances
779
00:44:26,065 --> 00:44:32,385
by Christine Liao, Jaxy Boyd,
Circus-Szalewski, Chriselle
780
00:44:32,385 --> 00:44:38,705
Almeida, Kiera Nusbaum, Greg
Smith, Varda Appleton, James
781
00:44:39,025 --> 00:44:44,910
III, Malia Macabeo, a very good
boy named Gus, and Kimberly
782
00:44:44,910 --> 00:44:48,270
Truong. Theme music by Edith
Mudge.
783
00:44:48,350 --> 00:44:52,430
Additional music by Manish
Ayachit, Bernard Yin, and
784
00:44:52,430 --> 00:44:57,205
KipLMAO. Studio recording by
Parker Silzer and David Stern.
785
00:44:57,365 --> 00:45:03,525
Artwork by Gabi Hawkins. Logo by
Alex Bruno. A very special thank
786
00:45:03,525 --> 00:45:06,725
you to Liesl Lafferty and the
Firecracker Department.
787
00:45:06,885 --> 00:45:11,530
Mari Meyer, Peter Byrnes,
Victoria LaVilla, Brandon
788
00:45:11,530 --> 00:45:14,170
Beardsley, Hillary and the boys,
789
00:45:14,330 --> 00:45:17,770
Katie McCuen, and our incredible
Kickstarter backers.
790
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:21,050
Babalu is a production of Uneasy
Tiger.
791
00:45:21,290 --> 00:45:26,165
For more info or to support this
series, follow @UneasyTiger on
792
00:45:26,165 --> 00:45:30,245
Instagram or TikTok or visit
uneasytiger.com.
793
00:45:30,485 --> 00:45:33,125
If you or someone you know is
struggling with suicidal
794
00:45:33,125 --> 00:45:39,205
thoughts, please dial 988 or
visit 988lifeline.org