Full Transcript for Leading Yourself First: The Unspoken Secret to Business Growth with Michael Goss

that smooth. There was a lot of ups and downs through that, and probably some of those we'll get to here on the on the podcast. But that journey that I went through, the growth that I had to have. the maturation, the challenges to me as a leader, all of that has gone into what I do now through leader one, which is work with other people that are second generation guys like myself or men and women like myself, and other founders that have found themselves to be at a ceiling that they can't for Dr. Leslie Davis: Mm-hmm. Michael: whatever reason seem to get beyond. And so when they hit that ceiling and they can't get beyond, there's specific things that can be done. Because these are things that I had to do, or that I got to do, I guess I should say, that were put before me, in my journey that I believe were from God, just to be honest with you, because they came at a specific time and I was at my end. I had done everything I knew to do, and it was those adjustments that I made. And they were adjustments with me. They weren't everybody else. It was things that I needed to do differently. And as I started to do them, and they weren't easy, It challenged my my identity. It challenged every part of me. But in that, not only did I become a much better leader for our business, it made me a better husband to my wife. it made me a better father to my kids. it just made me a better man, in my opinion. And so because that's what it took. leadership, in my opinion, isn't about everybody else. It's ultimately about me. And as I learned to lead me. That gives me permission potentially to lead someone else. And so that's just a a brief snippet of of my journey up until now. Dr. Leslie Davis: Awesome. I love how you bring even your childhood into it. My dad was a business owner as well. And so as you were telling that story, I was thinking about being a kid, running through the halls of the of the company, and he had a sign company. So it was like a warehouse and I got to watch guys bend neon and he started us in business as kids just running the vending machine and we were responsible for fill in the vending machine, counting the money, going and buying the products to put back in it. And it was really an interesting thing to see growing up. And I I find it hilarious how we talk about school and what we learned in real life versus what we learned in business school. Cause I I got a degree in marketing and I didn't learn anything about marketing. I learned how to do market research, but that was about it. So I would love for you to take us down that journey, that self-discovery journey that you were talking about, how you found things that when you hit that ceiling, the things that you found were within you that helped you break through the glass ceiling instead of things that were problems in the organization. So I would love to hear more about that because it's just so real and so honest. Michael: at the time it you know, every journey, and this is what's interesting about life, is even if you're going through it with other people, each of us are going through that journey alone. Bible says something is basically says you have to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. It's I I this is the only person God gave me authority over is me. And so many times in life and in business we attempt to Put that onto other people. And so in the business side, I was very fortunate that my father's way of doing things was very good. It was a good way. But in reality, my father was a benevolent dictator. you didn't know that because he wasn't heavy handed. But it was going to ultimately be his way to a degree, except he didn't care how you did your job. He just cared that the job got done. But he wasn't big on structure, he wasn't big on. Accountability, those weren't things he didn't love confrontation. And so those things were just natural in the organization that he built. And when I came in, I obviously was a product of that. And that style works. But it only works to a certain level. And it works until you get to a place to where you're so big and so spread out. So for us. What had happened is every time we got more, so as the business grew more, we weren't thinking in terms of strategically what should we do next or how should we expand or where should we focus. We would just add on more things, more product. my father loved making products, and we so we had our own manufacturing because we wanted to be ultimately in total control of that. And because of being in control of all of that. We also didn't make decisions the right way. We didn't cost things the same because we costed it at the manufacturing level rather than costing it at the marketing or the or the sales level. And so we and we organized ourselves all wrong as a result of that. So there are a number of what I would say technical mistakes that we made. But over time, when I joined my father the second time in his second business, and within about six months, for the first six months, I didn't do anything. I just absorbed because I'd never Done any of this. And so I just listened, absorbed, and then we we made some adjustments to our compensation structure, kind of rebranded, and it took off. And all of a sudden I was thrust into a public spotlight. I was expected to be a communicator. this is back in the 90s, so this is pre-internet days, a little bit. We were just at the early stages of of the internet. but it was perfect for me. There was so much going on. Most of it was beyond my father. He was in his mid sixties at the time and he he was still living his old business. And one of the things I'll just say as an aside that I now was a part of my mission is the fact that he sold his first business, not because he wanted to. He sold it because he felt he had to, because he couldn't figure out the money. That's another problem inside of small businesses. We get to that place and can't capitalize it well. And so he sold it because he

couldn't he was growing himself out of business, just to be honest. this business that I was in now, there was so much going on. I was so available for all of it. I was still single. I had nothing better to do. I took it with both hands, grabbed it, and it was mine. I took ownership immediately in this business. And I learned every facet, every nook and cranny. I had my hands in everything. I was part of the creative, loved the creative process. I wrote all the copy, I became the voice, I was the face, whatever that was, along with my father because I was very young. And I looked very young. So he was still the one that created the stability, but behind the scenes I was doing all the moving parts. And so within probably two years of doing that, we had gone so far beyond his capacity to really understand how we did what we did, the real business behind the business. So operationally speaking, I was the one doing all that. What I didn't realize at the time, and this is part of what we're gonna get to, is I was driving so much pleasure. So much enjoyment, so much validation by being in part of everything, and that having everything rely on me and me being the central the sun, if you will, around which the rest of the business orbited. that was very ego gratifying. And we got to a place this is after nine eleven. we were we had peaked at nine eleven, we were roughly at a twelve million dollar company at that point. And from nine eleven till two thousand and five, so over a period of nearly four years, we went on just a real steady decline. And I'm telling you, this is what I mentioned earlier when I did everything I knew to do. I threw we threw I threw everything at the wall. Promotions, name it. No. Did we do everything? Of course we didn't do everything because there was more that we could have done, but in terms of what I thought the every idea I came up with, none of it worked. At some point I just had to look at the in the mirror Leslie and realize that the only constant in this environment is me. And had a friend of mine tell me about a a leadership training. And so I didn't want to do it. I didn't think I needed it. I'm running a big company. I'm doing my thing. I'm all this. And so there was a lot of pride in that. There was a lot of ego. And it doesn't mean that I didn't have impact and I didn't have value. I did those things. But there was so much of that that wasn't I did the thing, but I didn't create what actually the result was. I just played my part. And so inside of this leadership training, I won't go into detail to great detail, but it was a wake-up call. it it pulled the curtain back a little bit and allowed me to see for the first time me and really what I was bringing to the table, and how my fear and how my limitations and how all that was being has was baked into our whole culture of our whole company. And that the lid was me. It wasn't everybody else. It wasn't their fault, it was the fact that I I was the smartest person in every room. That doesn't mean I was the best person. It means I was in the wrong room. That means I didn't have all the right people around. We had great people that were great at executing, but I didn't give them any room to lead. I sucked all that auction out because I needed it to validate me. And that was the big wake up call. And so once That shifted and the shift was very fast. It wasn't like it took me years. It it happened virtually overnight. in a weekend, I was different. And so when I came back, what it allowed for is I now saw everything that I had created. And I saw the good, but then I'll saw the limitation elements of it. So I had to start getting more people in. I made I told I I I built a different team. I was able to now attract different people than I had before. And so that journey, which that's just one that's I'd say the broad element of it, but the big part of that, Leslie, was the detangling of my my personal identity with that of the business. And I think for the first time in a long time I'd actually become comfortable with me. Dr. Leslie Davis: Wow. you know, a lot of times in business we focus on the imposter syndrome side of things. And we forget that sometimes that validation is something that we feel like we need. And to be raw enough and vulnerable enough to see it and let that pride come crashing down so that you can actually see with your real eyes instead of the facade that's been put on. I love that so much that you shared that. Can you tell us a little bit about what that process was like? Michael: it was difficult. It was intense. the intensity was required. there were parts of it, because I'm a fairly I'm a very intellectual person. And so everything I do I process and I process very very quickly. And in order for that but that was the problem. That was part of the problem. Is because as you know, we we intellectualize what we do after the fact. We do it, then we we come up with all the reasons why we did that and why that was good for the most part. And so we we self-validate our decision making. And so and I can do that fairly quickly. And the only way is that through this process, one of the unique parts of it is there's certain elements that overwhelm the intellect. Things happen so quickly that the mind can't keep up. And once that happens and the mind gets to that place, like like it's like your computer and that thing just starts spinning and it just can't process. Once that happens to us, then the mind becomes unproductive. And that's when the heart takes over. That's when the spirit person is really able to overwhelm to a person that was like me that's very intellectual and very verbal, let's say, that once I got to a place where I couldn't verbalize anymore and I really couldn't articulate in the time frame, the things that I had in my mind that I thought were what things were supposed to be. Just went away. And the things that came out didn't come out of my head. And I'm pointing my brain, but

really, you know what I'm talking about, my mind. They came from my heart. They came from my spirit. They came pouring out. And there was an what I learned through that is there was an infinite, there's an infinite supply of that. Right? Because that's, you know, in our nature, we are infinite. we are a product of God. So we we have that as a part of us, and we've got this limited part of us that is our physical body, and then there's that go between it that's the mind. And my mind was way overdeveloped, I'll just say it that way. So if if you look at us as a three-part being, you know, spirit, soul, and body, my body wasn't you know, I wasn't a bodybuilder guy, and I was very spiritually developed, but that was all done through my mind. So I was very intellectual about my spiritual life. I could quote scripture and all that that and I and still can, but I was basing it on the fact that I could do that meant something, rather than, yeah, but is that Are you living it the right way? Is it really a part of who we are? And so through that part of the process, I started to realize that what I really wanted, because there were three there were three questions that were really being asked inside that training that were things I had never considered. Really? I thought about them, I could articulate it, but it wasn't real. It was just something I'd come up with out of my head. First question was who are who are you? What am I? Who what's my identity? Really? Who am I really? Because I had at that point talk about impostor. I think impostor gives the idea that it's no, I had created a facade. I had created an alter ego. It's what I did. And I did it back when I was a kid. I mean, I did it as a way of protection and self you know, to create an illusion that I could project that made me feel confident and then I could exist in life and whatever. But it wasn't real. It wasn't who I was. So that was the first thing that I had to come confront. And the second thing was, why am I here? what is my purpose? Well, I know what my purpose is. Well, I didn't. I mean, now I look back and I realize my purpose was throughout everything I did. So yes, I did know it somewhere instinctually because the thing I was being drawn into were the things that were my purpose. And then the third thing, though, and this is probably the hardest one to really answer, is what did I want? in Psalm 37 4 it says, delight yourself in the Lord, and he'll give you the desires of your heart. And that's got two meanings for me. When I was younger, the thought was, if if I'll delight myself in the Lord, I'll get all the stuff I want. Okay. And that's that's a that's a I'm not saying that's not the case, but that's what I believe it's deeper than that. I I believe that he places in me the desire for the things that I'm wired. For. And that was what this process helped me to connect to. Did I have a laundry list of stuff? Yeah. And when I went through the process that overwhelmed my mind, guess what went away? All the stuff. I couldn't remember one of those things. I had a long list in my head and I couldn't remember any of them. And what came out was, you know, I wanted a great marriage. I I I wanted to matter. I wanted to be a good father. I wanted to make an impact on other people. You know what wasn't in any of that? Money, how big the business was. none of that mattered and it most of what I was pursuing wasn't on the list. And so that was like an a a real epiphany, a real aha moment for me. And then I went back after that. and what made it hard was me fighting the process. The Dr. Leslie Davis: Mm-hmm. Michael: process was easy. What made it really hard was me fighting the thing that was there to help me. And once I got back, this is the part that took a long time. The decision was easy. It took years to unwind from all of what I was doing that was taking me to a place I really didn't want to go. I was doing things inside the business at my decision that I realized that's not really who I am and who I want to be. I was the public face and the public figure for this company, and it really wasn't what I wanted. So that was one of the first things I I changed. I started bringing some other people in to be the face and to be the voice and to allow me to step back and be more behind the scenes, which is where I preferred to be anyway. And so there were a number of things like that that I I learned. And the most important one probably was just to be present. To quit living either in the past, which I wasn't bad to live in the past. I didn't live in the past. I lived in the future. Dr. Leslie Davis: Mm-hmm. Michael: Everything I did was about tomorrow and the future, and it's gonna be this and it's gonna be this, but I wasn't living today. And the truth of the matter is, what did the past is in the past. I can't I can reframe it, but I can't change it. It is what it is. I can't I never get to the future. Tomorrow never comes. The only place I can truly live is today. And what does it say what's what's the Bible say? Take no thought for tomorrow. For tomorrow Dr. Leslie Davis: Mm-hmm. Michael: takes care of itself. And look at the lilies in the field, look at all the they don't care about tomorrow. And so a person that really understands this and is truly a person of faith doesn't live in the future. I'm not saying we don't make plans that we don't do things, but at the end of it, I never get there. What am I going to do today? How am I going to impact someone today? What about the twenty or thirty minutes that I spend with my kids today? That I'll never get back. Am I gonna be a hundred percent present with everything I am in that moment? And that's where I would say I was failing quite a bit. is I just wasn't, I was rarely fully present at any one moment. I was always mentally somewhere. Dr. Leslie Davis: think that's easy to do too. And I love how you bring this up because in in my program, in my Radiate Authority program, the first

two steps are all about this. The first step is to identify what your core values are and that informs your identity. So step two is align your identity to your authority. And that's all about stripping away the mask, coming into alignment with your head, your heart and your voice and who you were created to be, talking to God about that. And it seems like this process that you went through, what were your thoughts when you started it? 'Cause you started with a different intention than what you left with. Michael: Well, you interestingly, I went in thinking this is leadership training. And the the this is kind of a this is a horrible story for me. I'll tell this because it is it just it tells you where I was at that time. The la the amount of pride and smug and just yeah that that I was. I showed up and I got there a little bit early. It's in this lower quality hotel. It wasn't where I was, you know, it's not the place that I would normally would would pick. And I've I've got there early. I got my room because and so I was in there spent and so I came down for the the five we had a meeting at five o'clock. We're everybody supposed to get together. And the first thing they did, they started handing out room assignments. And I didn't realize 'cause I wasn't told that I was going to be sharing a room with someone. Now I'm an adult. I I run a company. I try I no, I'm not I'm not doing that. I I got my own money, I've already paid for my own room, I'm good. And the guy basically says, No, you need to be in the room with this person's part of the process. And I'm like, No, that's okay. And I'm getting into this back and forth. And finally he says, Look, you're either in the room with this person or you're not in the class. What do you want to do? And I tell you, Leslie, everything in me said, we don't need this. Let's go. Let's get out of here. I don't need this. These people are beneath me anyway. What can I learn from this guy? This guy's not running. He doesn't even know my he'd never even run a company. He's not even running his own company. He's working for somebody else. All of these thoughts are going through my head. And there were two people there that I knew that knew me. And so this is the flip side of the pride that kept me in the room. Because had they not been there, I would have been out. And but I stayed. But I stayed with a horrible attitude. I stayed with a you can't tell me what to do. I mean it was the the the patterns, the petulant child, the spoiled whatever term we want to give that. That's how I presented. And I rocked that that look for about twenty-four hours. And really it wasn't until middle of the second day that I started to warm up to it. And probably I didn't fully give in to the process till the last day. I resisted and fought it the whole time, which made it much more difficult. Kept me from getting where I wanted. But that's my that was where I was. And so that was a part of the process is I was I was gonna have to fight it. And that was part of the fight that had to happen. And but through the fight, the truth rang out. And what was presented to me as a leadership training, we didn't talk at all about leadership. But that's all we did was lead. Because what their process was was you lead every day. How you show up is communicating to everybody around you. What are you giving people permission to do based on how you show up? And how I showed up was the 180 degrees opposite of Leadership really was. And and so that's what I learned is that all this time I thought I considered myself a leader, and I hadn't been leading at all. I'd been telling other people what to do, but I really hadn't been operating at the level that I needed to. And that shift in me was like a two by four right between my eyes, and it was something that had that not been a two by four, had it been gentle. Had it been a process of somebody just having a conversation, I would have never, ever, it would have never, it would have never gotten there because I could have intellectualized my way around all of that. And that was the part for me that it just I can't think of it working any other way than than that. I needed it. and the intensity of it, the energy of it, the difference of it, everything we did was the exact opposite of what I would have expected from a leadership. and so that part made a huge difference for me. And as I as I put a kind of a little bow on that, the the takeaway is that that is then part of the mechanism that I used in my company that helped me reshape the culture. Because now I put everybody in my whole company through this process. And it became an integral part of our culture, is that because once I did that, Everybody's got to start to understand why I am now the way I am, why I show up and why our team functions the way it does, and the way why we talk the way we do, and why we why we're so driven by passion and why we're why we're we we tend to get loud sometimes and why there's so much excitement and intensity. Because we need to unlock that. And so that's one of the things that I got out of that. And that's that was just one part of the equation. Now we get to go back and I get to live it every day. And that's not always easy. Dr. Leslie Davis: And now you teach this. You lead people through this process that you went through to make you a better man, a better husband. And I love how you bridge that gap because we really do lead ourselves first. And if we can't lead ourselves, then we have no business leading other people, really, because we're not we're we're not fully present. We're not we're not connecting. And then, like you said, that dictatorship comes out. Michael: Paul said it this way, Leslie. He said, follow me as qualifier. As I follow Christ. Which I believe there's a flip to that. Don't follow me if I'm not following Christ. And so people can follow me based on my position in the company, based on the fact that I can sign their check. But that's

not real leadership. that's positional, that's authority, that's Carrot and stick, meaning if you do what I want, I give you, I give you the carrot. If you don't, you get you know some sort of consequence. People being willing to follow. So I can hire someone's back or their labor. I cannot hire someone's heart. I can't hire and get all of them. The only way I get all of them is if they trust me enough I love your focus on authenticity. That is a huge part of it because once they see, and that doesn't mean perfection. By the way. No, no, no. It just means it's dependable. They know what to expect and they're okay with that. That's when I can start to get everything that person is. And in an organization, the more I can unlock that, the more capacity as a company we have. And so I can do more with fewer people if I get more of the people that I've already got. And so I've had the pleasure over the years of not only personally. putting close to hundred people through this process, both employees and just you know, anybody that I'm mentoring, that's part of their part of the journey. but other business leaders and owners and just friends. But I've also been on the team to probably have another five or six hundred. So I've watched this process work and you know I've been a business a long time. There are very few products that I've ever been a part of that have a super high success rate. but this process I've seen it operate at a at about a ninety percent. That ninety percent, not that they everybody gets the same thing, but ninety percent of the people walk out and go, Wow, something has shifted maturly as a result of being in that environment. And so, yes, obviously you can tell I'm a huge believer in that part of the process, but it's because it helped me unmask my authentic voice. Because I was so scared, I was so afraid, I was so timid that I created a superhero version of myself that just wasn't real. it used some of my assets, but I put this big wall up around me so I could protect my heart. And what I learned the hard way was by doing that. That's what in the Old Testament it talked about how the Pharaoh his his heart was hardened. I was pharaoh at that point. I had so insulated my heart from being hurt from the outside that now I couldn't be touched by my my wife. I couldn't be touched by my kids. I couldn't be touched by God. I couldn't be touched by anybody because I had created this thing to protect myself. And what I what authenticity allows and what I think the maturation process is, is that vulnerability is the greatest strength. The fact that I can be hurt is actually a plus. Because there's healing on the other side of that. That no matter what happens, there is tomorrow. It's not going to be the thing that takes me out. I'm I'm too I'm too strong for that. And so as I learned that, I realized that I can now go into environments and I can be totally exposed. I can be totally vulnerable, and there's nothing they can do to me. There's

nothing someone else can do to me that I don't allow. Because I can literally now, for the first time, say, and I and I believe this is an accurate statement. Forgive them, father, for they don't know what they do. Yeah, they're doing stuff to me, but it's really not to me. They're doing something in response to something inside of them. If they really knew what they were doing, I'll bet they wouldn't do that. Because I was doing that. I did it to other people, but it was a defense mechanism. And so learning about me has really helped me have a greater appreciation for other people and the struggle that they're going through and not holding them to an account. for that and to be quick to let that off to go and to forgive and to keep moving on. So there's been a number of people that have done me wrong, so to speak. And I would still potentially work with them tomorrow. because I don't I don't keep that account. And and and that's vulnerability. Once again, my wife sometimes argues and says, Yeah, it's okay to be vulnerable. It's not it's not good to be fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. That's So that's where I have her to help me protect myself because I am very now able and open to be to work with with people that that may have not been the most honorable with me in the past. Dr. Leslie Davis: Yes, you still have to have boundaries even with your vulnerability and even even as we move forward in it. Michael: Well, I I'm not good about that, so that's where I've got I've got some people that'll help me there. Dr. Leslie Davis: Awesome. what kind of feedback have you had from the people inside your company that worked with you before and has now worked with you after? And like what kind of things did they say to you that help you know that you really were a changed person from the outside perspective, not just what's going on inside as well. Michael: You know, the the change on the inside in terms it it wasn't as dramatic because I wasn't loud or pushy or you know, I didn't yell or do those things. But the what the change did inside the building is it liberated folks to do what they could do. It gave them air to breathe. It gave them space inside of the company. I'll give you quick little example. So one of the things that we did every month is we created a newsletter, and this is the olden days, so It was an actual printed piece. We had our own printing company. And so, you know, we've lay it out and do all that. Well, I had for like I those of the first things I started doing with the company was laying out the newsletter, creating the content, basically the editor and all of that. And so now I'm running the company, but I'd still been doing that because that was one of our major promotional pieces that went out to all. So it was it was this voice of the company. And I had this person working for. And of all the people that I'd worked with up until that time, he he was inside my head better than better than anyone else. And so he was doing all the technical. So he would actually do the layout, he would make get it press ready and things like that. But I retained the editorial. And I remember sitting in a meeting one time and I just thought, why am I doing that? He's more than capable. What if I just let him own the whole thing? And whatever he needs from me, he he asks for it and I just give it to him. But other than that, I get out of the way because the the newsletter was late nearly every month. I was late to press or it's really pushing and it and and I was the one in charge and so I finally decided, you know what, I'm just gonna give him that whole thing. my goodness. It it wasn't major, but it was major. Not only for me, but for he owned it, he took it, he made it so much better, so much faster. I can now hold him accountable for getting it done on time. Whereas before I was me holding myself accountable, and that doesn't work real well. And and so just that little thing, did it be was it one of those things that he went, now working with Michael is better. I don't think he thought of it like that because he didn't realize what the block was. He just saw now he had more of an opportunity to contribute. So inside the organization, it was a lot of that. Where it also presented were the people that were on the outside of the organization that didn't know me or that knew me but didn't necessarily work for me. That's where those folks saw the they saw the change more so than the people inside. which I I find a little bit interesting, but I think because they could see the contrast in how They felt in my presence. And so whereas before there would have been this wall. Talking, fine, shaking hands, being whatever, but you can feel this unspoken something. It's this invisible wall that I had up. That was gone. And so now the way I was relating, the rapport, all of those things, the connection level, just in short conversations, was dramatically different. And what I will tell you this, it allowed me to recruit at a level that I hadn't recruited up until that time. I was able to bring a level of talent on. Because before, without even being aware of it, I was actually saying, Hey, come work for us with my words, but everything else was like, Don't come here. There's no place for you, no room for you here. And and so they would pick that up. People can sense that. Leaders that have played the game long enough, they can sense that when someone is resistant. And I was doing that. I can think of one person specifically, he was the most, he was probably in the second phase of our business, the most critical hire I met. And I had made a run at him a year before. And I mean, I was giving him a lot of opportunity. It just didn't it didn't work. And I come back two years later, and he was just like looking around going, man, this place feels so different. And so that feeling that I had done because of where I was in the company and the control that I had, that feeling permeated the

entire organization. It was an unspoken boundary. like you said, it was a boundary that had been set up that only a few people could get beyond. And so when that came down, not only did it start to grow business, so more business started coming, but the kinds of people that we needed to grow the business inside, I could start to now attract and actually get to come on board in the company. And so within a year or so after that, now I'm not the smartest guy in the room. I'm not the most capable. Now I've got other people that are more capable in more areas and allowed me to take more and more of a step back. And so it was a it was a process. but everywhere along the way it would be a a detangling. Once again, I and I would and I would say, two years ago I wouldn't have been able to do that. And now I am. And so the other thing that I would say is that it allowed for a longer term, you know, most of the po the people that work for us, we already had a really good environment. My dad did a really good job. It was a great place to work, uber flexibility. We weren't hardcore, none of my executives ever punched a clock. it was a real good place. So we had a lot of people that would come work for us for a lot less money just because of the freedom and the flexibility and the fact that they own their their part of the equation. They weren't micromanaged. over time our issue became lack of discipline. you know, too many impromptu meetings. We weren't we didn't have a good discipline strategy on products, and so we got you know, we had more money, we just put more products in. And so little things like that over time were areas that became more of a challenge for us, which those are easier to fix once you eliminate the structural issues created by the founder. Dr. Leslie Davis: There's a couple things that come to mind as you were talking about that. One, the the freedom aspect, both for you and the people that you worked for, and now the people that you're bringing through the same process. And that's the second thing is as you bring people through this process that you yourself went through, how their lives are changed. We're catalysts, right? I like to call people fire starters because we really are sparks that ignite wildfires when we are allowed to just be fully who we are. And so when we go through this process and go through all of the things that are required of us to be able to be authentic and put down the wall and walk through forgiveness and walk through things that we didn't know we were strong enough to walk through or face. And now those people, you experienced it and you went on a mission to have other people experience it too. And so that's something that I just really feel rises to the top is great for your company. Great. That's awesome. But even greater for the individual lives and their families that this has impacted And now they can be the authentic person they were required. to be. And another thing that comes to mind too is like, the boundaries aspect of like, why am I doing this? I love how you bring that up with the newsletter. Why am I doing this? And I was thinking about another person that I work with in some business aspects. And he goes, I used to have this meeting and I had to show up to this meeting. And then eventually I was like, I just dread the meeting. I dread why do I have to have this meeting? And he goes, Well, the only person who set the meeting is me. So I I get to change that and now I'm just gonna say, Hey, send me an update. No meeting. Just send me an update. And if we need a meeting, we'll have one. But he said it just freed the other person and him from this meeting that they dreaded and now it became something that was actually productive. Michael: Yeah, one of the key indicators in there is the dread. And that's always a a key indicator. if there's condemnation in doing something, that's not the right. so there's all these factors that if we're really paying attention, we go, that's a key indicator because my nervous system is telling me this is not right. What's wrong with the meeting? Nothing. This particular meeting and why it's being there is no longer a part. of what it needs to be. And letting go of the control, allowing and trusting the process, so to speak, is a big is a huge, huge part of it. Because we we get at least I did, I was so in control. That was part of the illusion as how in control of myself that I was and how control I was of everything around as I controlled the entire environment. Because if you can do that, if you can control your environment, then you can control And create a safe space. you don't take ground in safety. Right? If our goal is to take ground, we don't do that in safety. And here's another thing that to your point that you mentioned earlier about now being on a mission, that's part of what I discovered inside of the training myself on the very last day. It wasn't in a normal exercise where I discovered my purpose. But we were doing a process and I can't tell you what it was because it won't make sense. But the bottom line of it was in order for me to do this process, it was gonna require me to to basically do something with pretty much all of the energy that I had. It was a full, real energetic process. And we had like fourteen of us in the the program. And so everyone's going through this and part of our role when we're not doing it was to support the other And I was supporting, but I wasn't supporting with everything. I was just because I needed to keep what I felt was plenty in reserve, so when it was my turn, I had plenty. And this was huge for me. This is and it was a huge truth that I learned because they had been saying throughout the training, there's always more. There's always more, there's always more. And I know that we're connected to an infinite supply. But it but that that's that's gobbledygook. That's just religious talk, right? That's not real. well inside of this process. I finally got to

the point because I could see for a number of the people in the classroom to me that this mattered to them. This was a big deal for them. Now I'd had already come to I already told you my prideful place. I was already still at that place. This is this is still this is okay, but this isn't for me. But I could see this is for them. They need this. And I finally said, you know what? I don't care if I survive this or if I succeed. It doesn't matter. I don't care about that. The most important thing at this moment is that each one of these people, and that I give if I can do something to help every one of them get through this, then that's good enough for me. I don't care about me. And so for the first time and the whole time I was in that class, I was no longer thinking about me. I was no longer being a selfish fill in the blank with all the worst words. I was all of those and then some. And so The next time that person got up, and it was just it was that fast. It was like an epiphany. And and so that person got up, and so man, I just started giving everything that I could to that person to help them get through their process. And then I'm like, okay, well, that's all I got. And I'd sit down because we're breaking between the two, and then the next one would get up, and then I'd do it again. And guess what? There was always more. When I thought I had given everything, there was always more. Because I wasn't coming out of here anymore. See, my head, there's a limited, there's a limited supply in my physical body. But in my true nature, my spirit man, that's connected to God. There's no there's no limit on it. And my body is just an expression. So my body can be tired, but if my if I'm not, then man, I can in it at a moment's notice, my body's just got to go to work. And that's what I did. I promise you this I remember multiple of those processes that I went through people. I have no memory. Of my personal process. I don't remember it at all. I have no idea what I did. I don't know what I said. I don't remember any part of that, but I remember everybody else's. And it was in that moment that it hit me. God didn't put me on this planet to get mine. God put me on this planet to help other people get theirs. And then it recast my entire life. I looked back and I go, Me coming on board with my father's company wasn't to get mine, it was to fulfill his vision. Our whole family, the reason we were there is to help other people fulfill their vision. I've been doing this for my whole lifetime. I just didn't know that's what I was doing. And it honestly, it that was the beginning of us selling the company. For me, because I'm like, I'm at the head of something that I'm not in the right seat anymore. It's not that I'm not have capability there, but that's not where I'm really that's not where God has me. I need to be behind the scenes. I need to be supporting someone else that has vision. Because they just don't know how to get there. I have vision, but at a different level. They see the horizon, I can see the steps to get there. Those are the things that I started to understand that now it's about other people and taking what I can do and helping them unlock in them what it is. And that's why I've been on a mission, but I wasn't on a mission thinking it naturally. It was just that's how I'm just wired. I was just doing that just it was just who I was. And now that I understood it at a different level, it's like, now our business at that time had elements of that. But I was slowly do doing everything right. I said, I've got to get ultimately out of this position. And it wasn't easy position to get out of because I had literally built the whole company to depend on me. And so it took a number of years. But we eventually were able to reconnect and do some things. And that's another part of the journey that we'll maybe talk about another time. But it led me down the road to where I am today. the glory of what I used to do was so much better. but the fulfillment. that I get today is on another level. because every day now I get to fulfill. And one of the biggest ones was family. what was the the verse that says, what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but he loses his soul? Dr. Leslie Davis: Yes. Michael: I realized that that company is not was not my soul. my family is my wife, my kids. And so I basically stepped out of business for nearly 10 years. Just to be fully present with our kids. and I I wouldn't change that for the world. I did more good in my backyard after I stopped working than I did in my way. I mean more legitimate, authentic impact. I had more of it outside of the company than I ever did inside of it. And so that's the journey that I'm I'm on today. And it allows me to impact at a much different level because I believe God made me to be a force multiplier. But in order for a force multiplier to work. There has to be a force already in place on which that multiplication is happening. And so that's where I fit well. And every time I'm in that position, great things happen. And they happen in ways that seem like I'm doing magic, but I'm not. I don't do magic. I just show up and do my part. The magic was already there. It's God's part. but you have to have the right people in place to do some of those things. And so that's been the journey ever since and it has been a wild, wild ride to say the least. Dr. Leslie Davis: I love that. This has been really awesome Michael. Thank you so much for all that you shared and your vulnerability and your process and what it's done for you and what it's done for your company and like where you're at now and what it's done for your family. That's just it's really real and I think we need to hear that. I don't think we hear it enough. Especially from those who have that strength. You know, we can tend to keep the mask on. So thank you for taking down the mask and just being real with us. where can people find you to connect if they want to go through this process with you? Michael: Easy way is just to go to my website, leader.one, L-E-A-D-E-R dot o-n-e, leader.one, and that really stands for leader of one. And so that's what our process is. And it's more than just the individual. I we also do a lot of work within companies to help them reshape and really build a true leadership culture. So if you want that individually or and in your organization or in just your family, that's what Leader One is set to do. And so just go to leader.one. you'll find me there, you can connect with me there, you can access me through LinkedIn there. All that is the easy button is just to go to leader dot one. And thank you so much for the opportunity to be on the podcast today.