Full Transcript for The Transformative Power of Play in Leadership and Resilience with Brandi Heather

system and how they feel about 70 00:04:25,779 --> 00:04:28,580 themselves and what they how they connect with others. 71 00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:31,160 So I've really seen it for a long time. 72 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:32,154 So yeah. 73 00:04:32,154 --> 00:04:34,154 But it's funny that you talk about nervous system. 74 00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:34,395 Right? 75 00:04:34,395 --> 00:04:37,834 Because it's through a lots of events that I've been involved with where there's been team 76 00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:42,714 building and and, you know, I've run teams over my career, and it's quite fascinating how many 77 00:04:42,714 --> 00:04:44,475 things come up through play as well. 78 00:04:44,475 --> 00:04:45,435 So I have this one. 79 00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:50,180 I ran a unit at a hospital, Brandy, and we're doing I think it was like a trust access. 80 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:54,439 It would but it was a fun and you could see how people got guarded. 81 00:04:54,579 --> 00:04:54,819 Right? 82 00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:58,740 Because I don't know if it's me growing up in a family of six, and I was just like, oh, yeah. 83 00:04:58,740 --> 00:04:59,300 I'm all out. 84 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,384 And the person could kinda hold me. 85 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,904 And the one I remember one of my teammates said, how come you weren't scared? 86 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:12,285 And I said, because, like, I'm around you guys, and I can close my eyes and I can but, clearly, 87 00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:17,310 there was within that environment, Brandy, you could see the people that struggled with, I 88 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:20,529 can't trust, so I can't do this exercise, or I can't do this. 89 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:26,269 And they couldn't just get into it because they they were bringing so many different things. 90 00:05:26,269 --> 00:05:33,824 So in play then, you know, when you're working with a team so maybe you tell us kinda how you 91 00:05:33,824 --> 00:05:38,384 work through things because I was thinking of those particular individuals, and I knew that 92 00:05:38,384 --> 00:05:45,240 there was some issues going on, but it it heightened, when they went into, you know, this 93 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:45,740 event. 94 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:50,920 And I wonder how play might have how how you use play and what you do when things like that 95 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:51,660 come up. 96 00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:53,080 Yeah. 97 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:58,814 Well, one thing that we know for sure is that we can't play, when we are scared. 98 00:05:59,514 --> 00:06:01,214 We can't play where there is fear. 99 00:06:01,754 --> 00:06:08,154 And so for me, it's always to walk into play in a trustworthy way. 100 00:06:08,154 --> 00:06:14,050 So many people, when we think about play, they actually do have a very heightened response. 101 00:06:14,050 --> 00:06:20,290 It's a it can be very much pushback on what what play looks like and what they think of it, 102 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:22,629 especially in business settings and surroundings. 103 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:29,355 And so when we talk about play, I actually address that right up front. 104 00:06:29,735 --> 00:06:35,035 And that is that for many people, the word play actually ignites their nervous system to think 105 00:06:35,254 --> 00:06:38,214 this is silly and unproductive, and so I'm not listening. 106 00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:45,800 And so if we start there and we turn off our brains to learning and what's possible, then 107 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,240 that doesn't lead into a session where we can learn very much. 108 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,500 So I actually walk into play very carefully. 109 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:58,335 I walk into it in a way that people in the room feel safe, that people don't in any way feel 110 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,615 silly in what they do. 111 00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:05,055 Because, again, if I want people to understand the effect that it can have, then I have to 112 00:07:05,055 --> 00:07:13,589 create an environment where they feel like they can be, you know, in they can be resourceful. 113 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:14,290 Right? 114 00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:15,509 That they can be themselves. 115 00:07:16,129 --> 00:07:21,029 And so working in play is partly a game of trust. 116 00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:28,194 And so walking into a situation where people knowing that people may push back on that and 117 00:07:28,194 --> 00:07:31,314 also being able to see it in their body language and all of those pieces. 118 00:07:31,314 --> 00:07:34,694 So I'm very astute at being able to read a room. 119 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:41,149 And so when we walk into play, we don't talk first about play or get into play right away. 120 00:07:41,149 --> 00:07:47,229 We do things that actually just ignite curiosity and yeah. 121 00:07:47,229 --> 00:07:50,110 Again, it it needs to be safe or it can't be play. 122 00:07:50,110 --> 00:07:50,669 Like, we can't 123 00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:51,709 But I would think that. 124 00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:51,949 Right? 125 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,229 It's like a litmus test. 126 00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:54,750 It's like a litmus test, I would think. 127 00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:59,475 Because I'm just thinking, you know, of some of the environments I've worked in, there where 128 00:07:59,475 --> 00:08:05,154 there was a little bit unresolved things or maybe there's nepotism between different levels 129 00:08:05,154 --> 00:08:05,975 of the organization. 130 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:11,709 And then if you're coming in blind, obviously, you might be walking into, you know, a hornet's 131 00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:16,589 nest potentially because all that stuff's gonna play out like it's like street theater, I would 132 00:08:16,589 --> 00:08:16,829 say. 133 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:17,949 It's gonna be Absolutely. 134 00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:20,589 People picking each other and all that stuff. 135 00:08:20,589 --> 00:08:26,904 So

when, you get a request, let's say, so your request can come in what ways? 136 00:08:26,904 --> 00:08:31,544 Because I I think it I I think of the fun part of you not telling the truth and winning, 137 00:08:31,865 --> 00:08:34,664 against my team on when before I go back. 138 00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,184 But that's another thing aside. 139 00:08:36,184 --> 00:08:42,350 But so is it that there's some kind of productivity issue? 140 00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:44,590 Is there that there's conflict? 141 00:08:45,129 --> 00:08:48,570 Is it that we've got new teammates and we wanna integrate it? 142 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,585 What what in what ways might you be called in? 143 00:08:50,585 --> 00:08:54,904 Because I'm just thinking for leaders that are listening, that are thinking, how do I fit this 144 00:08:54,904 --> 00:08:55,404 in? 145 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:04,250 One of the things that that I get called on many times is organizations where leadership is 146 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:09,050 feeling like things are stagnant or they're not moving, that there's maybe a an issue in 147 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:12,110 processing or organizational resilience. 148 00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:15,375 Like, they're just feeling like their team is just needs something. 149 00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:17,535 I often get that kind of blank opening. 150 00:09:17,535 --> 00:09:19,634 Like, our team just needs something. 151 00:09:20,174 --> 00:09:20,414 Right. 152 00:09:20,414 --> 00:09:23,054 And we need we're not connecting. 153 00:09:23,054 --> 00:09:27,120 We're not collaborating, and we're not sure what that is. 154 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:33,200 And so a lot of what I do is go in and just give a totally different lens and perspective 155 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,399 on the people in the room. 156 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:40,000 So for an example, I just worked with the leadership team a couple weeks ago that brought 157 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:47,834 me in, and we were just working on the fact that some people were not working in a space in 158 00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:50,014 which they felt confident and capable. 159 00:09:50,554 --> 00:09:56,230 And we found that out when we were just playing with working on doing some building activities, 160 00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:57,769 when we're working on collaborating. 161 00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:01,750 We found out, oh, actually, there's a lot of people who are not in alignment with the things 162 00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:03,050 that they're really good at. 163 00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:07,830 So the things that they're really good at are being suppressed, and the things that make them 164 00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:11,975 feel like they would take risks and talk to other people and collaborate with other people, 165 00:10:11,975 --> 00:10:13,915 those are actually not happening in their work. 166 00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:19,095 And so the work that I do actually helps them recognize it first in themselves. 167 00:10:19,095 --> 00:10:19,415 Wow. 168 00:10:19,415 --> 00:10:23,495 There are things that that I love about what I do, and there are things that are totally out 169 00:10:23,495 --> 00:10:25,059 of alignment for my skills. 170 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:31,199 And so by the end of the day, people really come back to this, k. 171 00:10:31,199 --> 00:10:38,384 Maybe people aren't we aren't asking people the right things to do, but, also, I show them the 172 00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:43,365 effect that stress and overwhelm and not being in alignment with what you're really good at, 173 00:10:43,664 --> 00:10:45,845 what the effect of that is on people's bodies. 174 00:10:45,904 --> 00:10:46,225 Right? 175 00:10:46,225 --> 00:10:52,909 Like, when our nervous system is is on fight or flight all the time, we we may work for an 176 00:10:52,909 --> 00:10:58,110 organization that has massive challenges with solution finding and problem solving and and 177 00:10:58,110 --> 00:11:02,509 needs that kind of integrative seamless discussions happening. 178 00:11:02,509 --> 00:11:08,174 And when it's not happening, oftentimes, it's because people's nervous systems are so out of 179 00:11:08,174 --> 00:11:08,674 alignment. 180 00:11:09,455 --> 00:11:15,054 And when I can move them to a playful space where they're kind of what we talked about when 181 00:11:15,054 --> 00:11:20,610 you said at the beginning, when people are kinda they're lost in the moment, when we can 182 00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:26,790 get into that space, then I can really move teams into noticing because that's the key. 183 00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:36,044 The key is noticing that when people are not playing or excited and when they're not really 184 00:11:36,044 --> 00:11:41,024 using all of their skills, which then makes it very difficult to run a a high performance 185 00:11:41,725 --> 00:11:42,225 unit. 186 00:11:43,085 --> 00:11:43,404 So 187 00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:48,125 And I guess when I listen to you, right, because, like, I know when I play, like, I'm 188 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:52,740 giddy and, you know, it's kinda like you're floating back in time. 189 00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,679 I remember my I'll give you an example. 190 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:58,980 Like, I'd I grew up in a family of six, and, of course, we I grew up in Trinidad, Brandy, so 191 00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:00,740 there was no snow, no thought of snow. 192 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,779 Now I understand why. 193 00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:07,554 But, anyway, we had these terrazzo floors, and Donnie and Marie was the thing. 194 00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:07,714 Right? 195 00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:09,634 So I'm dating myself that back then. 196 00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:10,115 Yeah. 197 00:12:10,115 --> 00:12:16,034 So we would put baby powder like we were skating. 198 00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:16,274 Remember? 199 00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:17,714 They used to be on skates and all. 200 00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:21,769 You know, you set your think up now that you thought, oh, wow.

201 00:12:21,769 --> 00:12:23,389 I did that as a kid. 202 00:12:23,529 --> 00:12:29,690 What I think happens though is our society, as soon as kids get to a certain age, and I want 203 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:38,425 you to speak to this, you being the expert in this, we start to talk people out of play 204 00:12:38,565 --> 00:12:39,065 inadvertently. 205 00:12:39,445 --> 00:12:45,125 Like, I mean, oh, aren't you too old to do be doing that or why do you believe you know, 206 00:12:45,125 --> 00:12:49,524 like, I was out with my friend's, grandson and he he believes he's Spider Man. 207 00:12:49,524 --> 00:12:56,399 He goes, Roxy, when I put this over my head, I'll become Spider Man and beware. 208 00:12:56,539 --> 00:13:02,240 And I and he was like and I'm like, the beauty of the mind of imagination and stuff like that. 209 00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:08,245 But that being said, in our systems, different systems, we start to kinda almost pull that 210 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:08,745 away. 211 00:13:09,524 --> 00:13:10,024 Right? 212 00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:11,784 And Oh, absolutely. 213 00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:18,345 How do you by the time you're seeing teams, people have been practicing not having fun. 214 00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:20,399 For a long time. 215 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:21,440 For a long time. 216 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:21,759 Right? 217 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:22,000 Then they're 218 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,220 probably like, what is the other woman gonna tell me what to do? 219 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:29,360 And I'm gonna have fun and, you know, you know, at work, doesn't she know it's serious? 220 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,779 Do you you must run up against that at work. 221 00:13:33,055 --> 00:13:33,855 All the time. 222 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:40,435 And the the piece about children actually, the saddest piece of all of this is that children 223 00:13:40,575 --> 00:13:47,110 younger and younger and younger are starting to understand that play is not part of the real 224 00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:47,610 world. 225 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:48,310 Right? 226 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:51,610 That the playing isn't going to get you anywhere. 227 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:54,250 And I I mean, I could talk for hours about how 228 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:54,790 you could change it. 229 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:59,031 Like, and I I and I know you could because I know you know what I mean? 230 00:13:59,031 --> 00:13:59,917 You embody it. 231 00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:05,232 And then I'm honestly, we had such a good time when we all spent that time together. 232 00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:05,527 Right? 233 00:14:05,527 --> 00:14:11,137 Again, we're East to West Coast to give people a context, and I might see Brandy maybe once a 234 00:14:11,137 --> 00:14:16,960 year or the other colleagues, but it just it's almost like it it takes off years. 235 00:14:17,019 --> 00:14:18,559 This is what it did for me. 236 00:14:18,779 --> 00:14:22,940 For my East Coast colleagues that I don't see or West Coast colleagues, it took off years of 237 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:28,545 me not knowing them because all of a sudden, we were put into such silly kind of, I'll do 238 00:14:28,545 --> 00:14:30,245 anything because I'm playing. 239 00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:31,184 Yep. 240 00:14:31,184 --> 00:14:32,945 And and then I'm like, oh my goodness. 241 00:14:32,945 --> 00:14:36,144 I know Tyler that much more or Sabrina that much more. 242 00:14:36,144 --> 00:14:38,945 And and then I and and I may only see that person once a year. 243 00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:42,279 So I love I love that, whatever that happens. 244 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:48,100 Because as adults, it's almost like we get stuck in these little boxes, and we're stressed 245 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:53,955 and, you know, we got deadlines and, you know, metrics and boards and all that stuff. 246 00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:54,695 Yeah. 247 00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:58,754 And, you know, it's it's tough to get back there and for a lot of people. 248 00:14:58,754 --> 00:15:02,355 And then, like you said, people get are stressed in getting fight or flight, and 249 00:15:02,355 --> 00:15:04,375 they're getting sick and all that stuff. 250 00:15:04,995 --> 00:15:05,495 Yeah. 251 00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:11,049 And and to the one thing that I always say to people is play is very different for every 252 00:15:11,049 --> 00:15:15,309 single person because we kind of I mean, Tyler is masterful. 253 00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:16,649 Let me throw that in. 254 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,029 Tyler is masterful. 255 00:15:18,649 --> 00:15:19,289 I know. 256 00:15:19,289 --> 00:15:19,929 I can't get a ball. 257 00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:21,679 I need to call him at a better time. 258 00:15:21,929 --> 00:15:22,915 Shout out for Tyler. 259 00:15:22,915 --> 00:15:23,274 No. 260 00:15:23,274 --> 00:15:23,675 I can't. 261 00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:24,455 He is masterful. 262 00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:24,995 Together. 263 00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:26,575 Place. 264 00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:34,394 That's just And for some people, that play is, like for me, that's just jump in full, you 265 00:15:34,394 --> 00:15:36,154 know, partially don't even remember what happened. 266 00:15:36,154 --> 00:15:37,195 It was just so good. 267 00:15:37,195 --> 00:15:37,590 Right? 268 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:37,990 Yeah. 269 00:15:37,990 --> 00:15:40,070 But for some people, that actually ignites fear. 270 00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:40,570 Right? 271 00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,350 You have to play in that space Mhmm. 272 00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,110 Where everyone can find that. 273 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:51,029 And what that's the key is that is recognizing that everyone's play is different. 274 00:15:51,029 --> 00:15:56,125 So I'm gonna give you an example, and that is that one of the things that is part of my 275 00:15:56,125 --> 00:16:00,784 strategy is to help people understand what that actually even feels like in them. 276 00:16:00,845 -->

00:16:01,245 Mhmm. 277 00:16:01,245 --> 00:16:03,245 So here's the first thing. 278 00:16:03,245 --> 00:16:04,465 I ask this question. 279 00:16:05,004 --> 00:16:11,590 When was the last time you did something so good that you lost track of time? 280 00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:24,625 So I ask that, and I can tell you that 70% of my audiences cannot remember the last time they 281 00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:28,324 did something so good that they lost track of time. 282 00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:29,365 Wow. 283 00:16:29,504 --> 00:16:37,480 We are overworked and underplayed in our lives, and it's actually affecting our mental health 284 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,779 and our physical health. 285 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:39,879 Yeah. 286 00:16:39,879 --> 00:16:46,300 So if I can help people start to notice those moments and have some during the training, 287 00:16:46,804 --> 00:16:53,605 which we do, and have them play in a way that feels safe and connected and and all those 288 00:16:53,605 --> 00:16:54,004 pieces. 289 00:16:54,004 --> 00:16:56,105 So I'll I'll give you an example. 290 00:16:56,164 --> 00:16:57,225 I'll give you an example. 291 00:16:57,284 --> 00:17:02,909 So in one of my sessions, we do an activity where everyone puts a piece of paper behind 292 00:17:02,909 --> 00:17:06,990 their back, and they attempt to make a tree behind their back. 293 00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:07,789 It is right? 294 00:17:07,789 --> 00:17:10,589 There is nothing there's nothing scary or frightening about it. 295 00:17:10,589 --> 00:17:13,005 We just all try to make a tree, and then we bring it out. 296 00:17:13,085 --> 00:17:19,484 Well, in that single activity that takes about one minute, people say, I was so busy thinking 297 00:17:19,484 --> 00:17:22,845 about the tree and trying to make it behind my back, and I was laughing at other people. 298 00:17:22,845 --> 00:17:25,244 And I looked over, and I saw them having so much fun. 299 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:29,049 And then when we brought the trees out, we were all laughing about who did what. 300 00:17:29,429 --> 00:17:34,569 In that moment, I can actually show them the physiology of what happens. 301 00:17:35,349 --> 00:17:35,849 Right? 302 00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:41,144 What happens when we take that one minute when we're in play? 303 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:41,384 Yeah. 304 00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:47,544 When our brain and our body actually are like, all I care about right now is the laughter 305 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:51,565 that's happening, the three stories about the tree that someone told me after. 306 00:17:51,865 --> 00:17:53,085 It's so lasting. 307 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:59,259 So if we can bring people into that, we can have really tough conversations there. 308 00:17:59,559 --> 00:17:59,799 Right? 309 00:17:59,799 --> 00:18:05,640 We can actually once we've played, once our body kinda gets grounded and we're back in that 310 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:10,865 zone where, like, we're curious and open and, you know, we're actually listening to other 311 00:18:10,865 --> 00:18:12,384 people because that's what play does. 312 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:12,625 Right? 313 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,005 It puts us in that space where, I listen better. 314 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:18,224 I can actually hear myself better. 315 00:18:18,224 --> 00:18:19,204 I'm more authentic. 316 00:18:19,345 --> 00:18:21,765 All those things happen when we're in play. 317 00:18:22,079 --> 00:18:27,380 So if I can create that scenario, which is what I do, then we're having really honest, 318 00:18:28,159 --> 00:18:32,980 authentic conversations that last a long time after you spend a day with me or an afternoon 319 00:18:33,039 --> 00:18:33,700 with me. 320 00:18:33,759 --> 00:18:34,079 Yes. 321 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,460 And that's what play does. 322 00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:39,914 It's it actually changes the way we see ourselves and others. 323 00:18:40,615 --> 00:18:42,295 It's it's it's not magic. 324 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:42,934 It's science. 325 00:18:42,934 --> 00:18:43,095 But 326 00:18:43,494 --> 00:18:45,255 And it's sometimes so simple too. 327 00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:45,575 Right? 328 00:18:45,575 --> 00:18:49,894 You think of, you know, trying to do something and being so bad at it, and you're killing 329 00:18:49,894 --> 00:18:51,335 yourself because you think, oh my god. 330 00:18:51,335 --> 00:18:52,440 I suck at this. 331 00:18:52,919 --> 00:18:53,079 Right? 332 00:18:53,079 --> 00:18:56,119 Because we're always trying to be so competent as adults. 333 00:18:56,119 --> 00:19:00,279 Like, even outside of the workplace, we're trying to be the thing, look like the certain 334 00:19:00,279 --> 00:19:01,559 thing, dress a certain way. 335 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:06,444 We're always adulting, really, to some degree that we miss that part. 336 00:19:06,444 --> 00:19:09,904 And, you know, if you look at your when your children are small, I I see your grandchildren 337 00:19:09,964 --> 00:19:10,464 online. 338 00:19:11,005 --> 00:19:13,964 Like, they just bring something out of even being around them. 339 00:19:13,964 --> 00:19:19,470 It's I find, like, that it's by osmosis, and they're silly, and you're silly, and we but 340 00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:24,029 people do get more disconnected as they go, and then that kind of plays out. 341 00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:29,150 And then when you have conflict or when you have change, I think about what where we're at, 342 00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:33,565 the space we're at with what's happening globally with our our our the realities of what 343 00:19:33,565 --> 00:19:35,244 some companies are gonna be going through. 344 00:19:35,244 --> 00:19:40,444 That's gonna that's gonna heighten the stress, and then people are gonna get more anxious. 345 00:19:40,444 --> 00:19:44,684 And when they get more anxious, they're gonna buckle down and probably do the opposite, which 346 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,890 is play as being completely present. 347

00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:47,130 Right? 348 00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:49,150 Ultimately, that's what play is. 349 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:50,190 Yeah. 350 00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:54,329 Well, as we see all of these things compounded, which we do. 351 00:19:54,329 --> 00:19:54,490 Right? 352 00:19:54,490 --> 00:19:56,269 We're seeing all of those things compounded. 353 00:19:56,650 --> 00:20:03,024 If you're the leadership of an organization and you really you know, your work is to make sure 354 00:20:03,024 --> 00:20:10,325 that people, you know, stay capable and connected and, you know, doing the work and 355 00:20:11,184 --> 00:20:17,279 enjoying and and all of those things, you're that's your work, then I would say you have to 356 00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:26,079 know and help them find play because that's the thing that's gonna combat all of the overwhelm 357 00:20:26,079 --> 00:20:27,619 that comes out of what's happening. 358 00:20:27,865 --> 00:20:28,105 Mhmm. 359 00:20:28,105 --> 00:20:28,605 Right? 360 00:20:28,825 --> 00:20:32,184 And people will think that's the opposite answer to all of it. 361 00:20:32,184 --> 00:20:32,505 Right? 362 00:20:32,505 --> 00:20:33,504 Let's get more serious. 363 00:20:33,704 --> 00:20:34,184 Hurdles. 364 00:20:34,184 --> 00:20:35,644 Let's let's buckle down 365 00:20:35,704 --> 00:20:38,024 versus buckle down, get more serious. 366 00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:38,345 Right? 367 00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:38,505 Yeah. 368 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:38,744 Yeah. 369 00:20:38,744 --> 00:20:43,330 But when we do that, we actually throw our nervous system into that fight or flight all 370 00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:43,990 the time. 371 00:20:44,049 --> 00:20:45,170 So we're constantly there. 372 00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,410 So if our job is, oh my gosh. 373 00:20:47,410 --> 00:20:49,830 We're gonna have to make major changes in this organization. 374 00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:56,325 You want people to be, right, grounded and open and curious, not scared all the time. 375 00:20:56,544 --> 00:21:03,345 And so that's actually that's the change that needs to happen is that if we buckle down and 376 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:09,089 get really serious and super focused, we actually take out all the opportunity for 377 00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:12,589 thinking in a different way and being able to listen to others. 378 00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:14,349 We actually shut out other people. 379 00:21:14,349 --> 00:21:17,330 We create silos, and we over perform. 380 00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:19,970 All of those things are a result of that. 381 00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:25,634 And in play, if we can get people just to understand what it feels like, because that's 382 00:21:25,634 --> 00:21:26,934 actually the first thing. 383 00:21:27,154 --> 00:21:27,654 Right? 384 00:21:27,714 --> 00:21:30,375 What does it actually feel like when I'm in play? 385 00:21:30,515 --> 00:21:35,849 And if 70% of the people that I work with can't even imagine more than last time they felt like 386 00:21:35,849 --> 00:21:40,190 that, we really need people need help to find that place. 387 00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:42,909 And that's that's a lot of my work. 388 00:21:43,289 --> 00:21:44,984 And it's simple things. 389 00:21:45,065 --> 00:21:47,224 Like, when you say it's simple things, it really is. 390 00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:53,724 There is people who don't realize that their play is when the office supplies come in, and 391 00:21:53,785 --> 00:21:56,184 they can't wait to unbox the office supply. 392 00:21:56,184 --> 00:21:58,525 That actually makes them feel giddy inside. 393 00:21:58,904 --> 00:21:59,224 Right? 394 00:21:59,224 --> 00:22:03,569 They're unboxing it, and they're like, oh, all the markers haven't been touched and the you 395 00:22:03,569 --> 00:22:05,109 know, all the pads of paper. 396 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:09,109 That's their play, but nobody told them it was play or joy. 397 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:09,809 Yeah. 398 00:22:09,809 --> 00:22:12,630 But those are the moments that we need people to notice. 399 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:13,404 Yeah. 400 00:22:13,404 --> 00:22:13,644 Right? 401 00:22:13,644 --> 00:22:20,204 We need people to notice that so that on the days when when we can't find any of it, do we 402 00:22:20,204 --> 00:22:22,065 know where we can find some of it? 403 00:22:22,444 --> 00:22:23,325 And the laughter. 404 00:22:23,325 --> 00:22:23,565 Right? 405 00:22:23,565 --> 00:22:28,464 The I think the when I I mean, I'm sure most of us, when I laugh, I cry. 406 00:22:29,299 --> 00:22:29,619 Yeah. 407 00:22:29,619 --> 00:22:34,579 When I get to the point that I'm laughing so hard and I I often joke around and I say, I 408 00:22:34,579 --> 00:22:40,259 have to remember this moment because I'm laughing so I I'm crying and I can't stop. 409 00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:40,500 Right? 410 00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:42,179 And then you're like, oh my goodness. 411 00:22:42,179 --> 00:22:47,474 I need to bring that back to me with me to remember that drop down, that anchoring of that 412 00:22:47,474 --> 00:22:50,595 moment in time because it's you could tell. 413 00:22:50,595 --> 00:22:54,775 Like, every happy hormone in my body is going freaking out. 414 00:22:55,315 --> 00:22:59,710 And I'm just thinking about it in reference to when there's conflict or change. 415 00:22:59,710 --> 00:22:59,950 Right? 416 00:22:59,950 --> 00:23:04,429 If you think of change and the flux and the ambiguity, if you can bring a little bit of 417 00:23:04,429 --> 00:23:08,190 that, we're just, I would say, kind of human beings to each other too as well. 418 00:23:08,190 --> 00:23:08,690 Right? 419 00:23:09,390 --> 00:23:09,890 Yeah. 420 00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:10,450 Yeah. 421 00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:17,075 And so in play, I can put people in situations where they're not gonna agree with each other 422 00:23:17,075 --> 00:23:19,335 and all of you know, that they have conflict. 423 00:23:19,394 --> 00:23:22,695 I and I can set up the place so

that it looks like that. 424 00:23:22,994 --> 00:23:27,450 But when it's play, we actually see where people's natural resources are. 425 00:23:27,450 --> 00:23:28,089 Like, we actually 426 00:23:28,089 --> 00:23:30,509 see You pull you pull that out from the play. 427 00:23:30,569 --> 00:23:32,089 So if you're working with a team. 428 00:23:32,089 --> 00:23:32,490 Right? 429 00:23:32,490 --> 00:23:32,889 And Yeah. 430 00:23:32,970 --> 00:23:37,609 You're thinking, oh, there's no way, and you're just naturally kinda seeing what they bring 431 00:23:37,609 --> 00:23:38,269 with them. 432 00:23:38,329 --> 00:23:41,684 And then from that, I guess you could pull that out with a strategic plan. 433 00:23:41,684 --> 00:23:42,485 You could probably build 434 00:23:42,644 --> 00:23:43,325 That's exactly. 435 00:23:43,605 --> 00:23:44,105 Change. 436 00:23:44,565 --> 00:23:48,565 You could probably you know, if you have tried to be innovative with maybe a new business 437 00:23:48,565 --> 00:23:50,805 product, all those different things. 438 00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:51,125 Right? 439 00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:52,404 What play because, like, you're right. 440 00:23:52,404 --> 00:23:59,259 If you think about innovation is getting out of your normal kind of modus operandi of doing 441 00:23:59,259 --> 00:24:03,820 something in a standard way, play is the opposite of that because you do things when 442 00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:05,019 you're playing and you think, oh my god. 443 00:24:05,019 --> 00:24:06,559 I can't believe I just did that. 444 00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:07,840 You know? 445 00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:08,480 Yeah. 446 00:24:08,684 --> 00:24:14,865 And to be honest, I've had COOs who were looking at, like, what are we going to do today 447 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:20,525 to the point where we're we're in play, and they're finding out, oh my goodness. 448 00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:22,865 I didn't even realize I love that part. 449 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:29,529 So we can be building paper airplanes, right, and be in a paper airplane playing contest, for 450 00:24:29,529 --> 00:24:30,029 example. 451 00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:34,650 And what we find out is that if you didn't know how to make the plane, there's three people 452 00:24:34,650 --> 00:24:35,210 that did. 453 00:24:35,210 --> 00:24:39,865 And if, you know, that you actually have resources in people that you didn't know were 454 00:24:39,865 --> 00:24:40,365 there. 455 00:24:40,585 --> 00:24:44,265 But if I do it in an activity where we are it's it's stress free. 456 00:24:44,265 --> 00:24:44,904 It's safe. 457 00:24:44,904 --> 00:24:45,404 Right? 458 00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:46,684 It's a safe place. 459 00:24:47,224 --> 00:24:54,269 Then, actually, the person who loves building and collecting and all of a sudden, you know, 460 00:24:54,329 --> 00:24:59,930 finds out, oh, that actually is one of my key assets, but it doesn't come out when the stress 461 00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:00,589 is on. 462 00:25:00,730 --> 00:25:01,230 Right? 463 00:25:01,609 --> 00:25:06,115 So I'm I'm actually have huge resources that aren't there when the stress is there. 464 00:25:06,115 --> 00:25:11,954 So I can take that from the play, and now we can take it and actually look at what's 465 00:25:11,954 --> 00:25:17,075 actually going on in an organization, which is hard to do when we're under pressure and things 466 00:25:17,075 --> 00:25:19,419 are tight and Absolutely. 467 00:25:19,419 --> 00:25:21,259 Because it's wanna control an outcome. 468 00:25:21,259 --> 00:25:21,659 Right? 469 00:25:21,659 --> 00:25:21,819 Yeah. 470 00:25:21,819 --> 00:25:21,980 Yeah. 471 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:24,299 Because it's the opposite of psychological safety. 472 00:25:24,299 --> 00:25:30,059 What you're saying is that and what I'm hearing you say is it's transparency, it's trust, it's 473 00:25:30,059 --> 00:25:36,295 Roxanne's perspective is going to be validated as much as Brandy's and, you know, as Brandy's 474 00:25:36,295 --> 00:25:39,815 colorful and Roxanne's kind of black and white or whatever. 475 00:25:39,815 --> 00:25:45,174 Because, really, when I think of teams that I work with and organizations with leaders, the 476 00:25:45,174 --> 00:25:49,779 the people wanna just be able to be free enough to share perspective. 477 00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:50,240 Right? 478 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,279 No silly no no opinion is silly enough. 479 00:25:53,279 --> 00:25:57,599 You can you put it out there, but you you could see what when there's a lack of trust, and I'm 480 00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:59,519 sure you see it a lot with when you do play. 481 00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:00,015 Time. 482 00:26:00,095 --> 00:26:03,615 And then what people associate with play because that must bring up things from people's 483 00:26:03,615 --> 00:26:05,075 past too, I would think. 484 00:26:05,454 --> 00:26:11,055 And being able to try to make them safe enough to realize maybe that's maybe you could learn 485 00:26:11,055 --> 00:26:14,519 to play the way you naturally should be playing kind of thing. 486 00:26:14,519 --> 00:26:17,179 So I'm sure it brings up a lot of different things. 487 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:18,919 It does. 488 00:26:18,919 --> 00:26:21,099 And play as a word, it's funny. 489 00:26:21,639 --> 00:26:24,859 We probably have all done this, but we have a word. 490 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:31,384 There's so many in our vocabulary that ignite all sorts of different feelings of joy and and 491 00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:31,705 fear. 492 00:26:31,705 --> 00:26:33,805 Like, they can be everything from joy to fear. 493 00:26:34,184 --> 00:26:41,669 And one of the things about play is being able to give people permission for it to not look 494 00:26:41,669 --> 00:26:49,109 like or seem like their lived experience with it or where they've been with it, but how they 495 00:26:49,109 --> 00:26:50,309 are with it in the present. 496 00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:55,750 And last year, I had the absolute honor of

working with an organization in Winnipeg called 497 00:26:55,750 --> 00:27:02,015 Plan Mothers Healing Village with women and trans individuals who are experiencing sexual 498 00:27:02,015 --> 00:27:03,214 abuse and sexual trauma. 499 00:27:03,214 --> 00:27:07,394 So their stories of play are not positive. 500 00:27:08,095 --> 00:27:11,849 And yet what we did was help them rewrite that story for themselves. 501 00:27:11,909 --> 00:27:12,390 Right? 502 00:27:12,390 --> 00:27:12,710 We're 503 00:27:12,710 --> 00:27:13,269 so good. 504 00:27:13,269 --> 00:27:17,990 Gonna be hitting up against some and then I think what I think of as a psychotherapist is 505 00:27:17,990 --> 00:27:24,694 that you're gonna get, people's perception of what they were allowed to do versus Mhmm. 506 00:27:24,694 --> 00:27:29,414 But when you are able to kinda create that place of safety so they can step into it, like, 507 00:27:29,414 --> 00:27:32,615 what a a deeply healing space to have. 508 00:27:32,615 --> 00:27:33,015 Right? 509 00:27:33,015 --> 00:27:38,694 Because, really, I I often say if you look at little ones and you look at them and they're so 510 00:27:38,694 --> 00:27:39,194 raw. 511 00:27:39,299 --> 00:27:39,539 Right? 512 00:27:39,539 --> 00:27:41,299 And you're like, what are you talking who you're playing with? 513 00:27:41,299 --> 00:27:41,539 What? 514 00:27:41,539 --> 00:27:42,820 I don't know their name. 515 00:27:42,820 --> 00:27:44,180 Oh, there's just several? 516 00:27:44,180 --> 00:27:44,820 Who are they? 517 00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:45,539 Where are they? 518 00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:47,860 I can't tell because then you can't be part of it. 519 00:27:47,860 --> 00:27:50,180 And then you get into that world. 520 00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:50,420 Right? 521 00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:55,225 So I can see how with trauma, and that's one of the specialties I had when I practiced. 522 00:27:55,225 --> 00:27:57,384 Brandy, it's it's I could see how Yeah. 523 00:27:57,705 --> 00:27:59,065 How powerful that could be. 524 00:27:59,065 --> 00:27:59,884 Very powerful. 525 00:28:00,744 --> 00:28:01,244 Yeah. 526 00:28:01,545 --> 00:28:02,265 It really is. 527 00:28:02,265 --> 00:28:07,940 And I I think one of the things you and you touched on it is that when we're not feeling 528 00:28:07,940 --> 00:28:13,539 joy, like, we kinda just feel numbness all the time, which as adults, we can get really good 529 00:28:13,539 --> 00:28:14,039 at. 530 00:28:14,099 --> 00:28:15,400 Obviously, you know that. 531 00:28:16,019 --> 00:28:21,000 Is that the kind of the opposite to play is that we set up what I call show homes. 532 00:28:21,095 --> 00:28:21,335 Right? 533 00:28:21,335 --> 00:28:23,674 Like, we set up these kinda show home facades. 534 00:28:24,295 --> 00:28:24,795 So 535 00:28:25,015 --> 00:28:26,134 we find Yeah. 536 00:28:26,134 --> 00:28:28,695 Like, I'm supposed to be a I'm supposed to act a certain way. 537 00:28:28,695 --> 00:28:29,095 I'm supposed to 538 00:28:29,095 --> 00:28:29,815 be a certain way. 539 00:28:29,815 --> 00:28:31,095 I'm supposed to dress a certain way. 540 00:28:31,095 --> 00:28:33,015 I'm supposed to everything's supposed 541 00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:33,414 to be. 542 00:28:33,414 --> 00:28:37,079 And then we're just I think we've become adept at it. 543 00:28:37,079 --> 00:28:37,319 Right? 544 00:28:37,319 --> 00:28:38,679 We've become very adept at it. 545 00:28:38,679 --> 00:28:44,599 I know from personal experience, and I share this when I speak, is that as a college 546 00:28:44,599 --> 00:28:47,960 professor, I was very, very good at producing a show home. 547 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,375 I was fun instructor, fun mom. 548 00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:52,615 I had my name on the door traveling the world. 549 00:28:52,615 --> 00:28:53,974 I was doing all of those things. 550 00:28:53,974 --> 00:28:55,894 And if you looked at it, it was a show home. 551 00:28:55,894 --> 00:28:56,714 It was beautiful. 552 00:28:57,335 --> 00:28:57,835 Right? 553 00:28:58,214 --> 00:29:02,934 But on the other side, right, I was running a complete fixer upper. 554 00:29:02,934 --> 00:29:05,930 I was living with depression and anxiety Wow. 555 00:29:06,950 --> 00:29:10,730 And trying to keep up all this beautiful show home all the time. 556 00:29:10,789 --> 00:29:13,769 And, eventually, I'd almost I'd almost lose my career. 557 00:29:14,069 --> 00:29:15,670 I would almost lose my family. 558 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:15,990 Right? 559 00:29:15,990 --> 00:29:20,345 So I know what the effect of not being in play looks like. 560 00:29:20,404 --> 00:29:22,744 I've lived through that. 561 00:29:23,125 --> 00:29:27,625 And I know what it feels like to try to produce a show home every day. 562 00:29:27,924 --> 00:29:28,325 Right? 563 00:29:28,325 --> 00:29:32,970 To try and be the strongest person in the room and make sure everyone's okay and be the leader 564 00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:37,049 and be at the front of the room and say, everything's gonna be okay while you're 565 00:29:37,049 --> 00:29:37,549 struggling. 566 00:29:38,089 --> 00:29:41,970 Because I think that's the essence of play for me Mhmm. 567 00:29:42,089 --> 00:29:45,470 Is that when we're always producing that show home, we can't play. 568 00:29:45,769 --> 00:29:48,085 We're not authentic. 569 00:29:48,085 --> 00:29:48,404 Yeah. 570 00:29:48,404 --> 00:29:50,325 Then when you're the lead when you're the leader, 571 00:29:50,325 --> 00:29:50,964 you're yeah. 572 00:29:50,964 --> 00:29:55,684 Well, when you're the leader, Randy, to your point, you that show home is on most of the 573 00:29:55,684 --> 00:29:56,005 time. 574 00:29:56,005 --> 00:30:01,284 So learning how you can play potentially maybe not in the work environment, but make sure that 575 00:30:01,284 --> 00:30:06,269 you have it built into different parts of your life so that you could get whatever it is that 576 00:30:06,269 --> 00:30:11,649 invigorates you to be able to come and be

able to go into that environment and be the best 577 00:30:11,789 --> 00:30:12,669 versions of yourself. 578 00:30:12,669 --> 00:30:16,130 I talk about it with the ROR that I talk about, which is return on relationship. 579 00:30:16,269 --> 00:30:21,075 And I didn't ever talk about play in my book, but I feel like I've missed something there 580 00:30:21,075 --> 00:30:23,954 because I talk about connection, communication, all that stuff. 581 00:30:23,954 --> 00:30:28,775 But it's so important as when you're leading, you're still a person. 582 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:33,880 You're still a person that has all these facets, and you people are constantly looking 583 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,340 up to you for guidance. 584 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,160 And if you don't have behind the house kinda figured out to your point, you know Yep. 585 00:30:40,279 --> 00:30:44,625 That show that showhouse is gonna showplace is gonna kinda crash at some point. 586 00:30:44,684 --> 00:30:49,244 So the importance of play even with those leaders become important. 587 00:30:49,244 --> 00:30:52,605 Now that's where I was gonna go next, and I know we're almost out of time. 588 00:30:52,605 --> 00:31:00,289 But what how do you let's say you get brought in and you're like, oh, it's them. 589 00:31:00,289 --> 00:31:01,169 It's not us. 590 00:31:01,169 --> 00:31:02,150 It's the leadership. 591 00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:06,130 And it's once you just fix them, Brandy, it's gonna be all good. 592 00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:06,630 Right? 593 00:31:06,929 --> 00:31:14,075 If if there's a disparity between the leader leader leadership team seeing the value about 594 00:31:14,075 --> 00:31:19,595 them being in play so that they can in turn I'm gonna say receive what the frontline needs from 595 00:31:19,595 --> 00:31:20,095 them. 596 00:31:20,315 --> 00:31:25,470 If there's disparity, how do you work with them to try to build that bridge, I'm gonna say? 597 00:31:26,650 --> 00:31:30,569 Well, one of the first things actually, one of the programs I run or one of the keynotes I do 598 00:31:30,569 --> 00:31:36,569 is called leaders play first, which is actually really the fundamental pieces that if we are 599 00:31:36,569 --> 00:31:44,174 gonna ask employees to show up, be present, be loyal, be innovative, be all of those things, 600 00:31:44,174 --> 00:31:49,075 then they also need to see you be in play. 601 00:31:49,134 --> 00:31:49,615 Right? 602 00:31:49,615 --> 00:31:55,730 So I often people often ask me, if it's a human resources company or an org part of the 603 00:31:55,730 --> 00:31:58,609 organization, should human resources be in the room? 604 00:31:58,609 --> 00:31:59,809 That's I often get that. 605 00:31:59,809 --> 00:32:03,590 Should HR be in the room when the employees are taking are playing? 606 00:32:03,809 --> 00:32:04,309 Right? 607 00:32:04,369 --> 00:32:05,990 There's pieces to all of that. 608 00:32:06,585 --> 00:32:14,184 When the people that you're working with, the you play, it's number one, it's vulnerable, but 609 00:32:14,184 --> 00:32:16,765 it also sets up this whole piece of trust. 610 00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:17,384 Right? 611 00:32:17,384 --> 00:32:20,365 There's a huge trust that happens when we can do that together. 612 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:26,720 And so when there is a, yeah, us and them that kind of tell them to do that and we'll do 613 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:32,240 something different, that's actually one of the great dividers of play is I expect you to do it 614 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,960 over here because it's good for our retention and Right. 615 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,200 Right. 616 00:32:35,279 --> 00:32:36,640 And resilience and all the things. 617 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:36,974 Right? 618 00:32:37,054 --> 00:32:38,255 And so you go do it over here. 619 00:32:38,255 --> 00:32:42,674 I don't really even understand what happens, but if it's good for us, then great. 620 00:32:43,134 --> 00:32:48,575 The greatest thing that can happen is when leadership says, let's try and do this 621 00:32:48,575 --> 00:32:49,075 together. 622 00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:53,589 And I know that's hard because it's hard for multiple reasons. 623 00:32:54,130 --> 00:32:59,970 But when leaders and groups play together, right, when managers and their teams play 624 00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:05,509 together, it is it will change the full dynamic of what you do together. 625 00:33:06,184 --> 00:33:06,345 Yeah. 626 00:33:06,345 --> 00:33:12,505 Because it would I think it would destratify that that innate kind of, you know, perception 627 00:33:12,505 --> 00:33:18,424 of one level versus another because if somebody is just rolling around like we were at that 628 00:33:18,424 --> 00:33:20,024 time, crawling Yeah. 629 00:33:20,184 --> 00:33:23,279 All the things we were, then you forget who it is. 630 00:33:23,279 --> 00:33:24,640 Really, you do forget who it is. 631 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:29,440 And then you're like, that you're not so good at that or you're silly or I'm silly or I'm 632 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,460 killing myself, so I'm looking at you. 633 00:33:31,599 --> 00:33:33,519 It does bring that that good energy. 634 00:33:33,519 --> 00:33:33,839 Right? 635 00:33:33,839 --> 00:33:34,934 Like, that space. 636 00:33:34,934 --> 00:33:37,095 So that's that that would be the blue, I would think. 637 00:33:37,095 --> 00:33:37,414 Right? 638 00:33:37,414 --> 00:33:38,095 Versus Yeah. 639 00:33:38,214 --> 00:33:42,054 You know, the autocratic top down kind of level that Yeah. 640 00:33:42,054 --> 00:33:42,214 Right? 641 00:33:42,214 --> 00:33:45,255 And you have to have that level to run certain things in the org. 642 00:33:45,255 --> 00:33:45,755 Absolutely. 643 00:33:46,454 --> 00:33:52,029 But then you can go back and and see each other through a different lens that allows you to 644 00:33:52,029 --> 00:33:57,070 just kinda do your best thing because we all kinda wanna do our I think most people most of 645

00:33:57,070 --> 00:34:02,109 us wanna do the best version of what we need to do for eight to ten hours if we're in the 646 00:34:02,109 --> 00:34:03,390 company and then go home. 647 00:34:03,390 --> 00:34:08,454 But if we're if I'm kinda disjointed and stressed and all that stuff and not trusting, 648 00:34:08,454 --> 00:34:12,534 then I'm not I'm gonna show up, do my thing, give you a twenty I've heard this line. 649 00:34:12,534 --> 00:34:13,655 Twenty minutes at a time. 650 00:34:13,655 --> 00:34:13,894 Right? 651 00:34:13,894 --> 00:34:15,214 Like, when I'm so Yep. 652 00:34:15,494 --> 00:34:21,920 Burnt out versus, oh, I'm just gonna I wanna be remembered for doing the best job I could kind 653 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:22,579 of thing. 654 00:34:23,119 --> 00:34:29,440 And it really does narrow those margins because what happens is that leaders and managers look 655 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:34,480 at the people they work with and for, and all of a sudden, they start to understand, oh, 656 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:39,295 like, when we do this work together, that's why people invest. 657 00:34:39,355 --> 00:34:41,434 That's why people love that part. 658 00:34:41,434 --> 00:34:46,875 But they haven't been able to see that until we were in play and someone said, you know what? 659 00:34:46,875 --> 00:34:50,559 When that type of file comes across my desk, that is the best thing. 660 00:34:50,559 --> 00:34:52,000 Like, you could send me that all day. 661 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,219 It's my favorite thing. 662 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,839 And if leadership never knows that or managers never know that, then they don't know that on 663 00:34:57,839 --> 00:35:00,659 the days when things are hard and difficult, hey. 664 00:35:01,119 --> 00:35:05,775 There is something that actually gives them great joy, and it's almost none of what I'm 665 00:35:05,775 --> 00:35:07,954 talking about costs a single dime. 666 00:35:08,335 --> 00:35:08,835 Right? 667 00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:09,574 It's a nonstop 668 00:35:10,094 --> 00:35:12,855 like a secret sauce that you can pull out Right. 669 00:35:13,215 --> 00:35:16,880 And, get people back into that, like, state, really. 670 00:35:17,099 --> 00:35:17,339 Mhmm. 671 00:35:17,339 --> 00:35:18,139 That state. 672 00:35:18,139 --> 00:35:18,380 Right? 673 00:35:18,380 --> 00:35:21,119 Which is, I feel good kind of thing. 674 00:35:21,339 --> 00:35:21,739 Yeah. 675 00:35:21,739 --> 00:35:22,239 Yep. 676 00:35:22,380 --> 00:35:24,859 But, Brandy, this is well, I wanna go out and play now. 677 00:35:24,859 --> 00:35:25,980 I'm gonna find something to do. 678 00:35:25,980 --> 00:35:32,538 I have to it's always a pleasure to talk about, like, and be in play with you, I can tell you. 679 00:35:32,538 --> 00:35:37,614 And I look forward to the next time we'll all be together to be able to to to play again. 680 00:35:37,835 --> 00:35:43,355 So, Brandy, for any last words or any tips for any people out there that are listening and 681 00:35:43,355 --> 00:35:45,989 they go, that's not about me. 682 00:35:45,989 --> 00:35:50,010 Any couple of little tips you wanna leave behind for people or a thought? 683 00:35:51,590 --> 00:35:53,130 Well, there there's two things. 684 00:35:53,429 --> 00:35:54,150 You don't have 685 00:35:54,150 --> 00:35:55,369 to change anything. 686 00:35:55,670 --> 00:35:59,610 Play doesn't require you to change anything that you have or do right now. 687 00:36:00,054 --> 00:36:01,894 Like, it's not an add to your to do list. 688 00:36:01,894 --> 00:36:05,114 It's not schedule it for fifteen minutes in your schedule. 689 00:36:05,655 --> 00:36:08,155 It's actually already inside you biologically. 690 00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:12,155 So we just have to go back in and help you find it. 691 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:12,760 Yeah. 692 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:13,820 And that's everybody. 693 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:21,579 And and the other thing is to really take a look at at noticing at noticing the moments 694 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:26,335 when you feel playful or grounded or safe and what that feels like. 695 00:36:26,335 --> 00:36:30,335 Because if we go back to that's actually we all need that right now. 696 00:36:30,335 --> 00:36:31,474 We need that space. 697 00:36:31,695 --> 00:36:34,974 I I more than ever, why more than ever more than ever than ever. 698 00:36:34,974 --> 00:36:35,855 More than ever. 699 00:36:35,855 --> 00:36:36,335 More than ever. 700 00:36:36,335 --> 00:36:40,809 I think, yeah, we have to try to reconnect to what's who, what, when, and why. 701 00:36:40,869 --> 00:36:46,230 And if play brings that out of us and helps us to focus in on that, I would suggest that 702 00:36:46,230 --> 00:36:51,474 everybody go out that's listening and try to do something fun that maybe you used to do that 703 00:36:51,474 --> 00:36:54,355 maybe you got away from in in the next little while. 704 00:36:54,355 --> 00:36:58,755 So, Brandy, for everybody listening that would like to reach out and connect, where can they 705 00:36:58,755 --> 00:36:59,155 get ahold 706 00:36:59,155 --> 00:36:59,815 of you? 707 00:37:00,355 --> 00:37:03,900 The best way to get ahold of me is probably through my website, which is 708 00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:07,119 www.BrandyHeather.com. 709 00:37:07,739 --> 00:37:12,219 But they can also reach out to me by email, and all of those things are connected to my 710 00:37:12,219 --> 00:37:12,619 website. 711 00:37:12,619 --> 00:37:13,900 So please do that. 712 00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:14,699 Ask questions. 713 00:37:14,699 --> 00:37:15,440 Be curious. 714 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:21,304 I'm always happy to jump on a conversation and talk about how it could be amazing for your 715 00:37:21,304 --> 00:37:23,224 organization and for you personally too. 716 00:37:23,224 --> 00:37:23,724 So 717 00:37:24,105 --> 00:37:24,505 Awesome. 718 00:37:24,505 --> 00:37:26,505 Well, Brandy, this has been a pleasure for everyone. 719 00:37:26,505 --> 00:37:28,844 Thanks for hanging out with us again this week. 720 00:37:28,984 --> 00:37:30,284 What am I taking away? 721 00:37:30,344 --> 00:37:38,320 That when I think of ROR, I'm gonna ask leaders how did they play maybe in the last quarter to 722 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,179 see what I could pull out of them when I'm talking to them about connection. 723 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:47,534 And for anybody that wants to know a little bit know more about how they connect in their 724 00:37:47,534 --> 00:37:51,954 relationships either at home or work, just go to roxanderhodge.com/quiz. 725 00:37:52,414 --> 00:37:56,594 Fill out a little quiz, and we'll send you back some results and, next steps. 726 00:37:56,734 --> 00:37:58,655 Again, Brandy, thanks so much for your time. 727 00:37:58,655 --> 00:38:02,175 Everyone else, thanks for hanging out with me again, and we'll chat with you soon. 728 00:38:02,175 --> 00:38:02,914 Take care. 729 00:38:04,679 --> 00:38:05,179 Thanks. 730 00:38:06,039 --> 00:38:11,420 Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive, 731 00:38:11,559 --> 00:38:12,539 healthy change. 732 00:38:12,679 --> 00:38:16,860 Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach. 733 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:22,565 To work with Roxanne, visit roxannederhage.com/blueprint. 734 00:38:23,025 --> 00:38:26,805 We'll see you next time on Authentic Living with Roxanne.