TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Hi, this is Bobbi Brown, and welcome to another fucking podcast.
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You kids with your loud music and your Dan Fogelberg,
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your Zima hula hoops and Pac-Man video games, don't you
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see people today have attention spans that can only be
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measured in nanoseconds?
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See, son?
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Old legends never die.
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They just lose weight.
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Like a legend in an out-of-world film with a lot
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of life in it.
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And I would like to presume that all you cretin
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is humanoid sitting out there.
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Yeah, I'm here.
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Tuesday, September 1st, 936 p.m. Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. Izzy Presley,
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host of the program. Probably going to release this one
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as a weekly free show. as a weekly... Hey, this
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is what the fucking Patreon is, you fucking... And I
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would like.
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To presume that all you create is humanoids sitting out there.
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Good day. Hello, Las Vegas. Hello, world. Hello, my loyal minions.
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It is good to see you. It's always good to
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be seen. Izzy Presley, host of the program. You know, well,
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before I do anything, In the words of my close
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personal friend, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Cracking one for the
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working man.
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Cheers.
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This is a delicious Michelob Golden Light. Thank you, Mark
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and Lisa. I did not hit her.
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It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her.
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I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.
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And as a reminder, to how bad life can get,
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it can always be worse. I'm going to do a
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shot of Malort. It's one of the Malort. It's a
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Malort day.
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Gross.
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Ugh.
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Thank you, Mark and Lisa. I did not hit her.
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It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her.
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I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.
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So brutal. So dumb. Check out all the socials. Real
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Izzy Presley all the way across the board. Twitter, Instagram,
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and the Facebook. Show page is another effing podcast on
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the Facebook.
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Um.
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TikTok, Real Izzy Presley. Cameo, Real Izzy Presley. The Patreon,
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where you're getting this ad free. And right now, Real
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Izzy Presley. It's only $ 5 a month. Come join the family.
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My birthday's coming up. Next month, October 19th, I always
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do a birthday fund drive, a charity drive. And it's
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the greatest charity of all. It's me. Alicia. There's no bullshit.
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There's no, oh, I wonder where this money's really going
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for this charity. It's going to me. It's going straight
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to me. And if you don't want to donate to
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the charity of me being a fucking charity case, Just
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sign up for the Patreon. It's only $ 5. $ 5 a
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fucking month. The amount of money that you waste on
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stupid shit.
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I know.
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I'm one of them. I'm terrible with money. I'm fucking horrible.
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So dumb.
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Yes, it is so dumb. I need to be better
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about that. I understand that. I get it. We waste
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money on so much stupid shit when you could be spending.
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It on me.
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The man who's been entertaining you for 13 fucking years.
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No recognition. No awards. No gigs from this. No voiceover gigs.
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No podcasting editing gigs. Nothing. But I'm here. Entertaining you.
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Three to four nights a week. Come join the Patreon.
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Five fucking dollars a month. It's not that bad. It's
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not that expensive. Look at all the Apps that you
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pay for. That you don't even use. Get rid of them.
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That'll save you $ 100 a month and you can take
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five of that and give it to me. Or you
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can just donate to the charity. The Izzy Presley is
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broke charity. That's a great one. I like that one.
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That's good. I mean, not the broke part, but it's good. Alicia. Anyways. Anyways. Tonight, again,
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it's not going to be a long show. These are
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not long shows. But, of course, last time I said that,
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Load full transcript
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we went 35, 40 minutes. On nothing. On absolutely nothing.
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That's how good I am. I can talk about nothing
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for a half an hour. But you put me in
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a conversation and I don't have shit to say. It's
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so weird. It's also so dumb. What's this one?
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Kenneth Worm Man is trying to pull a Ronald McDonald
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Miller scam on us.
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I'm sending him back to the minor leagues. But that's okay.
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This is not a pity party. This is something to
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put life into perspective. Yes, it can get worse. Hence
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the Malort. No matter how bad life gets, there's Malort
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and reminds you it can get worse. But it actually
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can get worse. I joke when I say that. I
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know I don't have it that bad. It's just frustrating.
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But when I see a story that reminds me how
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bad it actually can be, And it can happen to
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anybody at any time. A few weeks ago, Trunk, Eddie Trunk,
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Hall of Famer Eddie Trunk, was talking about, somebody sent
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him a message, Rick Friel sent him a message saying,
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Mitch Weissman passed away. Mitch Weissman did not pass away.
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Mitch Weissman was in a bad accident. And I knew
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nothing about the accident. And I know Mitch. I met
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Mitch when I first moved to Los Angeles. Goddamn Los Angeles.
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He was my guy at Sam Ash. Because, you know,
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you go to a bar, you have your bartender. You
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go to a music store, you have your guy. You
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have a mechanic, your guy. Car dealership. You have a guy.
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It's like you're Armenian. They always got a guy. You
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need a guy? What do you need? You need car work.
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You need car. You need TV. I got a guy.
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What else do you need? You need couch? Got a guy.
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You need something under the table?
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I got a guy.
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They always got a guy. Mitch was my guy at
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Sam Ash. He took care of me. I am lucky
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enough to have people that take care of me at
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shit that I need. I've at least reached that level.
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But everybody has somebody that takes care of them. Now,
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if I could only get a broad that could take
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care of me, you know what I mean? Yeah. I
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don't know what I just said, but I said something. Like,
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for instance... If I had a sugar mama, I know
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who that would be and it would be awesome. Yeah.
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Sophie Cunningham. Sidney Sweetie. Either one.
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Come, goodbye. Come a little closer. Let me touch you. Yeah,
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it would.
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I need a sugar mama. Especially one that's really fucking hot.
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And look, I. going to get to the Mitch thing
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in a second. Here's the thing about hot broads who
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like shitty music. If they start dating somebody, they eventually
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pretend to like the music that you like. And then
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you don't have to hear their shitty music because, oh
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my God, I love this. I love REO Speedwagon and
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Guns N' Roses. Oh my God, Kiss is phenomenal. I
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never knew. Then they break up with you and they
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never listen to fucking Kiss again. Go back to listening
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to their horseshit music. That's how broads are. It's fine.
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Sophie Cunningham listens to horseshit music.
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Oh, yeah. Let me feel you near me. Let me
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feel you. I would, like, do something that really sucks
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for your love. I would, like, do homework and stuff.
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She's in the WNBA. She's around basketball. Of course, they
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all listen to horseshit music, but she's hot. She's a
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smoke show. Sophie Cunningham.
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Ah.
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You should have my house. Would be a great sugar mama.
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And I'd be happy to put out like an adult.
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Come a little closer.
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If you've ever seen the live streams, you'd see the
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dance that I was doing right now. Because it's a bit.
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It's a thing. Every time I say Sophie Cunningham. Shut up, baby.
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I have to play this.
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Baby, if I, like, gave you some money, would you
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make out with me? Ugh. So cool.
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I've got 75 cents.
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And I've got like 50 cents. So that would be like,
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you know, like a dollar.
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It never gets old. Beavis and Bud had never get old. See,
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now that put me in a good mood. I was
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in a horse shit mood all the way home, all
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fucking day long. I was in such a bad mood
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that I did a shot of my Lort for you.
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Then all of a sudden I started talking about Sophie Cunningham.
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Oh shit, I said it. Started talking about Sophie Cunningham.
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Oh shit, I said it again. Anyways, I started talking
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about her. And I play that, and Beavis and Butthead
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put me in a fucking good mood for now. Until
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I got off the air. Because, you know, I'm in
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the air chair and I'm on the air. Anyways, back
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to my point. Mitch Weissman. I met him when I
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first moved to Los Angeles. First time I went into
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Sam Ash. Right across from Guitar Center on Sunset Boulevard.
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I started bullshitting and I'm sure I was wearing a
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KISS shirt because I'm a fucking KISS-tard. Copyright Tom and Zeus.
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Show it out loudcast. We're on the Hall of Fame,
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by the way. Sorry about the sniffles. Trust me, it's
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not because of anything fun. Do I have that fucking
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drop on here? Now, for the question of... No. Cocaine's
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a hell of a drug. But, honestly... of the day.
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How's the Vikings gonna blow it today, huh? Figure that
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one out. The same as Vashon. They're outclassed. Now, for
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the question of the day. Oops, sorry. I played it again. No,
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it's not for any fun reason. And, of course, you know,
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I'm not gonna pause this. I'm not gonna mute it.
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I mean, I could hit the intermission music copyright common
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man Dan Cole. I'd have to walk all the way
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over there, and I don't need another beer right now. Anyways,
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Mitch Weissman. I can't remember why. I needed something at
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Sam Ash, obviously, because that's why I was there. And
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I'm talking to Mitch. And like I said, probably wearing
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a KISS shirt, KISSed hard. There's a guy who wrote
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songs with them. I'm like, ha?
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What? What?
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What?
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Alicia. I promise to get better about that, but I
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can't help it sometimes. Hey, Mitch Charles. Yeah, I wrote
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songs with them. I wrote songs on Animal Eyes and
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Crazy Nights. Get the fuck out of here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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That's pretty cool. So he became my guy at Sam Ash.
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And then I hadn't talked to him forever. We had
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talked about doing the podcast at one point, but it
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just never happened. He did Three Sides of the Coin.
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It was great. I love those guys. Good guys. I
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like those guys. They're good guys. And that broad Lisa,
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she's good too. They're my friends. I enjoy those friends.
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I enjoy it. But look, here's my thing with Kiss Podcasts.
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I love Three Sides of the Coin because they're my friends.
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But I also really love Shout It Out Loudcast because
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they don't give a fuck. They call out the bullshit.
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And I respect that. I enjoy that. Because somebody has to.
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So anyways, back to Mitch. Um, so we had talked about,
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you know, having him over to the podcast when I
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was in LA, it never happened. And I thought about
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doing it and I just never reached out and yada, yada, yada,
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because that's what happens. You get lazy and you, you
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don't see, I just don't want to bug people, which
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is a bad trait when you're trying to fish for
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guests for a podcast. That's been going for nearly 13
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full fucking years starting on the 14th on November 4th.
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Which will be the Hall of Fame episode. 2026. Anyways,
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forward to a couple weeks ago. Eddie Trunk, Hall of Famer,
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is on the air. And he gets a message from
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Rick Friel saying that Mitch has passed away. Well, that
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was not true. Mitch was in a very bad accident.
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I didn't know exactly what happened.
I haven't checked his
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profile to see what was going on. And then before
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I pushed record tonight, I went to his Facebook page
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and I saw the message on his Facebook page to
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clarify for everybody what happened to Mitch Weissman. Mitch is alive. Barely.
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And I'm going to read this to you. Because it's...
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Holy fuck. I can officially say this is... So dumb.
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So this is a post on Mitch's Facebook page from
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Lexi Stanton Knox, Mitch's sister-in-law, Lexi. Mitch's wife Jackie is
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my baby sister. The following is a message from her
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to everyone wondering about Mitch and how he's doing. Hopefully
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this clears up some confusion. Keep both Jackie and Mitch
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in your prayers. I know there are many rumors, most incorrect,
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going around about Mitch. I hope this will help clarify
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things for everybody. Friday, July 9th, Mitch was walking to
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work on the sidewalk and was hit from behind by
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a drunk driver. He sustained multiple life-threatening injuries, including a
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broken back, broken neck, pelvis, arm, elbow, leg, and seven ribs.
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Both lungs were punctured, and he is covered from his
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face down and third-degree burns from being dragged under the car.
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Drug under the car, dragged under the car, whichever is right. Holy!
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How he survived that is beyond me. I would be
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wishing for debt personally. I mean, I already do every day,
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but that's a whole other story. He has undergone five
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surgeries to date. He remains in critical condition in the
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ICU in Seattle, where he was flown immediately following the accident.
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His condition fluctuates from day to day. As of today,
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we have no idea what the future surgeries, treatments, or
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rehabilitation he will need. Basically, we are taking it one
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day at a time and praying that he remains consciousness.
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He regains consciousness.
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Sorry.
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This is why I need LASIK. And can begin an
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active recovery as soon as possible. We appreciate your prayers
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and ask that you continue to keep Mitch in your thoughts. Jackie.
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God damn!
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Holy!
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So dumb!
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Like I said, this really puts shit into perspective. Yes,
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life is fucking brutal. We all have our problems. I
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have many. Many that you hear about because I have
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a microphone and you listen. I try not to dwell
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on those on the podcast. I save that for Twitter.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yes, that is hilarious. But shit like this happens to
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people that you know. How he's still alive is fucking
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beyond me. That would have killed a mere mortal. Maybe
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because he portrays a beetle. One that's still alive named
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Paul McCartney. Maybe the power of the beetles is keeping
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him holding on. I don't, dude, I don't know what
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to say about this. It's just sad. I mean, it's
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sad to happen to anybody, but, you know, it's somebody
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that you know. It fucking digs deeper. And honestly, I
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didn't even, I don't even know why I pulled that
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up before I came on the quote-unquote podcast air. On
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the interwebs air. In the air chair. In the interwebs
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air chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Mitch.
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I enjoyed hearing his stories, and I hope he gets well. Now,
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here's something more glorious. The Oreos that are coming out.
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Last night, I did purchase the chicken and waffles. I
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enjoyed them. I did not do a reaction video.
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Why?
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Because I am officially in hate of reaction videos. All
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of the fake overreaction bullshit you see on people trying stuff.
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And they're the ones that get fucking commercials. Not me.
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Not the man with talent. Not the man who's been
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talking into a microphone for 14 fucking years almost. No,
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from some fucking slap dick on TikTok. And don't get
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me started. Don't get me started. When you go on
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YouTube and you put in a song that you want
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to hear and
half of the fucking results are some
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cretinous fucking humanoids doing, oh my God, I've never heard
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this song before. Let's break it down and react to it.
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Fucking videos with 250,000 fucking views. And here I am
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busting my ass. Entertaining.
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And I would like to presume that all you cretinous
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humanoids sitting out there.
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For what?
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For what?
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I could quit. I could give it all up. But
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for what? So no, I did not do a fucking
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reaction video for it. Wayne Stokely, one of the very,
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I think he was the very first subscriber to this
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show on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Real Izzy Presley. It's only
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five fucking dollars a month. Posted that he got the
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banana pudding ones. And I'm excited to try those. And
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I commented on the picture because I enjoy Wayne. He's
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a great dude. And he's a great fucking drummer, Lillian
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fucking Axe, for fuck's sake. And I just said, yeah,
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that's next on the docket. That's tomorrow. And he asked me,
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will there be a reaction video? I said, ha, no.
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And I will explain on the podcast. And that is
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why there will be no fucking reaction video. And I'm
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not yelling at you, Wayne, of course. Because I am
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over them. I am sick of them. These fuck... Mark.
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Mark and Lisa.
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Mark.
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I did not hit her.
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It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her.
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I did not. Oh, hi, Mark.
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Mark sent me a fucking video of some fucking broad
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trying something at a fucking McDonald's. No talent. 250,000 fucking views.
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I tried to do something real a couple years ago.
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Gas station food chronicles, trying sandwiches from gas stations. Nothing.
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Nobody fucking gives a fuck. I have knockers, but I
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don't have great knockers, obviously. Yes, I have the body
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of a pregnant WNBA player, but I can actually make layups.
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That's a whole nother fucking story. Non-talent fucking hacks. Taking
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over YouTube, TikTok, and fucking podcasting. Here I am, not
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going anywhere. Thank you. Thank you very much. We're a
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little late. Say goodnight, Gracie. Goodnight.
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Goodnight.
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You're still in my house!