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The First Glup Shitto Draft with Joey Clift & Julie Fiveash (Andorks: Detours)

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WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.180 This podcast is brought to you by our partisans, 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:06.320 Shelby Von Trapp and Bobby Chudhury. If you want 00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:08.539 to find out how to join up with Saw's Rebels, 00:00:08.679 --> 00:00:11.800 or if you want access to our bonus episodes, 00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:29.850 head over to patreon .com slash andorkspod. Welcome 00:00:29.850 --> 00:00:32.929 to Andorx, the podcast where every week we'll 00:00:32.929 --> 00:00:36.350 analyze and scrutinize the Star Wars series Andorx, 00:00:36.350 --> 00:00:38.850 seven minutes at a time. I'm Rustin Honordus. 00:00:38.929 --> 00:00:41.689 And I'm Alex Wolonitz. We have friends everywhere. 00:00:41.990 --> 00:00:45.869 And today we have two of them. Oh, dang. Because 00:00:45.869 --> 00:00:49.409 we are joined by the writer and illustrator of 00:00:49.409 --> 00:00:51.770 the new book, We've Been Here the Whole Time, 00:00:51.869 --> 00:00:54.770 A Not -So -Sacred Guide to All Things Native 00:00:54.770 --> 00:00:58.490 America, Joey Clift and Julie Feevish. Welcome, 00:00:58.549 --> 00:01:01.710 guys. Hey, whoa. I'm excited to be here. Yeah. 00:01:01.929 --> 00:01:04.609 So excited. Thank you for coming. Yeah. Joey's 00:01:04.609 --> 00:01:07.090 a returning champion. Julie, this is your first 00:01:07.090 --> 00:01:10.370 time. Wait, there's titles? I won? You've won. 00:01:12.489 --> 00:01:16.250 Joey, how has your Andor journey changed since 00:01:16.250 --> 00:01:19.510 you were last on the show? Okay, so I was last 00:01:19.510 --> 00:01:22.489 on the show in February. And at that point, I 00:01:22.489 --> 00:01:24.450 think we watched up to season one, episode seven. 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:27.260 Coming back on the show, I panic watched two 00:01:27.260 --> 00:01:29.560 more episodes so that you wouldn't be mad at 00:01:29.560 --> 00:01:32.980 me. Which means you're now caught up with the 00:01:32.980 --> 00:01:35.420 podcast. That's how long it takes us to cover 00:01:35.420 --> 00:01:38.340 episodes on the show. Yeah, so I finished season 00:01:38.340 --> 00:01:40.780 one, episode nine, Nobody's Listening, earlier 00:01:40.780 --> 00:01:43.719 today. And God, this show is really good. This 00:01:43.719 --> 00:01:47.359 is the episode where Andor was kind of doing 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:49.519 forced labor in a factory. It tells a deeply 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:52.040 moving story about the foreman becoming radicalized, 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:54.000 which was just genuinely really cool and great 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:56.519 to watch. Plus, it features characters that I 00:01:56.519 --> 00:01:58.780 refer to as Boy Stephen Miller and Girl Stephen 00:01:58.780 --> 00:02:02.459 Miller. The most sexual tension I have ever seen 00:02:02.459 --> 00:02:06.319 in my life. Wait till season two. Oh, shit. Oh, 00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:10.259 yeah. If that was what got you going in that 00:02:10.259 --> 00:02:12.360 episode, you got to get to season two already. 00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:14.479 The second that they were in the same room, I 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:18.560 was like, oh, they're going to fuck. Only seven 00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:20.400 more episodes. We'll have you on seven more times. 00:02:20.419 --> 00:02:22.039 At that rate, you will finish the show. Great. 00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:25.099 Yeah, sure. Sure, why not? We can make that happen. 00:02:26.039 --> 00:02:28.939 Julie, as a first timer, I would love to know, 00:02:29.020 --> 00:02:32.340 what's your history with Star Wars? My history 00:02:32.340 --> 00:02:35.840 with Star Wars, I think Phantom Menace came out 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:40.439 when I was eight. And it was immediately just 00:02:40.439 --> 00:02:42.400 enraptured by that film as an eight -year -old. 00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:45.900 It was made for you. It was made for me. I think 00:02:45.900 --> 00:02:48.199 the first piece of fan art I ever made was for 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:51.680 that film. I made a whole sheet of Star Wars. 00:02:51.860 --> 00:02:56.000 I love Darth Maul. terribly try to draw it. Do 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:58.139 you still have the art? I probably do still have 00:02:58.139 --> 00:02:59.659 it somewhere. I'll have to find it. If you can 00:02:59.659 --> 00:03:02.400 find it, send it over to us. We'll include it 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:04.860 in the Instagram post. If you want it. We don't 00:03:04.860 --> 00:03:07.759 have to. Was he doing a cool pose? Tell us more 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:09.180 about it. It was just, yeah, it was just like, 00:03:09.259 --> 00:03:11.360 I love the font for Star Wars. Like I drew out 00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:13.340 the font and then I wrote in Phantom Menace. 00:03:13.400 --> 00:03:14.979 I thought Phantom Menace was the coolest name 00:03:14.979 --> 00:03:18.639 for a film in the world. And then I love, love, 00:03:18.680 --> 00:03:20.719 love Darth Maul. So I attempted to draw him. 00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:23.840 It doesn't look good, but I still think he looks 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:26.120 like has the coolest. face in the world you don't 00:03:26.120 --> 00:03:28.840 have to draw darth maul well for him to look 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:32.400 cool yeah all the elements of him just on their 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:35.740 own make him cool yeah the horns tattooed face 00:03:35.740 --> 00:03:38.879 like yeah he was just cool you can do all those 00:03:38.879 --> 00:03:40.919 like the base crayola markers you don't need 00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:43.879 anything beyond the red black yeah yellow black 00:03:43.879 --> 00:03:47.340 red done um and yeah so i really liked it then 00:03:47.340 --> 00:03:49.180 and then i think probably some time a little 00:03:49.180 --> 00:03:51.819 bit after that i watched the original trilogy 00:03:52.780 --> 00:03:56.400 And then someone gave it to me like a VHS. So 00:03:56.400 --> 00:03:58.939 I had the VHSs, I think, before they added in 00:03:58.939 --> 00:04:02.770 all the
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CGI. So something that everybody should 00:04:02.770 --> 00:04:04.889 know, this is an audio medium, so you can't see 00:04:04.889 --> 00:04:07.490 that Julie has a Darth Maul face tattoo. Yeah, 00:04:07.490 --> 00:04:11.569 yeah. It looks real cool. Julie wanted makeup 00:04:11.569 --> 00:04:14.590 for lost time being a first timer on the show. 00:04:14.770 --> 00:04:17.810 Yeah, I went and got my full face tattooed, horns 00:04:17.810 --> 00:04:20.670 implanted. It's, yeah, it's pretty cool. I mean, 00:04:20.670 --> 00:04:23.149 you could do that now. I think people have done 00:04:23.149 --> 00:04:27.829 that now. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. uh and yeah 00:04:27.829 --> 00:04:30.069 i think i just got into i never got like super 00:04:30.069 --> 00:04:33.370 into i know my brother got really into like clone 00:04:33.370 --> 00:04:36.009 wars and he was a bit younger than me so he got 00:04:36.009 --> 00:04:38.250 into the video games for like the ps2 and stuff 00:04:38.250 --> 00:04:41.790 um but yeah i think star wars has always been 00:04:41.790 --> 00:04:46.689 fun i've not been like a very big ginormous gonna 00:04:46.689 --> 00:04:48.990 die for it same but i have a lot of like very 00:04:48.990 --> 00:04:51.129 fond memories attached to watching the movies 00:04:51.129 --> 00:04:54.689 i mean in in the short time i was flipping through 00:04:54.689 --> 00:04:57.629 your book we've been here the whole time i saw 00:04:57.629 --> 00:05:00.269 multiple star wars uh yeah when is this book 00:05:00.269 --> 00:05:02.209 available joey so we'd say we've been here the 00:05:02.209 --> 00:05:04.389 whole time a not so sacred guide to all things 00:05:04.389 --> 00:05:06.930 state of america available october 6th through 00:05:06.930 --> 00:05:08.750 andrews mcgill publishing and simon and schuster 00:05:08.750 --> 00:05:10.649 in all of your favorite bookstores and also online 00:05:10.649 --> 00:05:13.850 outlets and and as i was flipping through the 00:05:13.850 --> 00:05:16.170 book of which who's tight hold tight we will 00:05:16.170 --> 00:05:18.029 say every time we say this book. Yeah, it's like 00:05:18.029 --> 00:05:21.709 a branding thing. I saw multiple references to 00:05:21.709 --> 00:05:25.949 Star Wars, including one that referenced what... 00:05:26.120 --> 00:05:29.399 presumably as a Legends title, Star Wars, Darth 00:05:29.399 --> 00:05:33.160 Vader fucks a manatee. Yeah, look, it makes some 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:35.000 sense when you read the book, a little bit, not 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:37.560 total sense, but... I think it speaks to the 00:05:37.560 --> 00:05:40.660 pervasiveness of Star Wars in culture and that 00:05:40.660 --> 00:05:43.660 it shows up in this book too. And so what was 00:05:43.660 --> 00:05:46.879 the inspiration for this book and where does 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:48.800 it come from? Oh yeah, thanks so much for asking 00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:52.959 that. So this book came from just the realization 00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:56.310 throughout my life that... uh, non -native people 00:05:56.310 --> 00:05:59.410 know so little about native people. Like there's 00:05:59.410 --> 00:06:00.829 a research study that came out that showed that 00:06:00.829 --> 00:06:03.370 87 % of US schools don't teach native history 00:06:03.370 --> 00:06:05.949 after 1900. And that's something that I've seen 00:06:05.949 --> 00:06:09.189 in my life by being asked just the dumbest questions 00:06:09.189 --> 00:06:11.990 by non -natives about native stuff. You know, 00:06:11.990 --> 00:06:14.310 questions like, was I born in a teepee? Which 00:06:14.310 --> 00:06:16.790 I was, I'm Cowlitz, that's Pacific Northwest. 00:06:16.970 --> 00:06:18.449 It would have been a long house. Also, I was 00:06:18.449 --> 00:06:21.009 born in the 80s. It was a hospital. Or like, 00:06:21.050 --> 00:06:22.430 you know, did my reservation have electricity 00:06:22.430 --> 00:06:25.420 growing up? Do I have? magic powers, which I 00:06:25.420 --> 00:06:27.519 don't, but my uncle does. I feel like white people 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:29.240 might be reappropriating to be like, we're going 00:06:29.240 --> 00:06:30.800 to have our kids in TVs. We're going to do that 00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:33.800 ourselves. I actually have one if you want to 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:35.939 come over and you're like, no, I will never go 00:06:35.939 --> 00:06:39.459 in your TV. Can I birth a child in it, please? 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:43.920 I usually Airbnb it out, but we also have it 00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:48.019 for ceremonies. you know, just realizing that 00:06:48.019 --> 00:06:50.740 there's this huge knowledge gap in what non -native 00:06:50.740 --> 00:06:53.579 people don't know about native people. And I 00:06:53.579 --> 00:06:55.920 feel like most education sources about native 00:06:55.920 --> 00:06:58.879 stuff are like either so academic that it's hard 00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:01.959 to read or like entirely focused on trauma so 00:07:01.959 --> 00:07:04.500 i wanted to create something that um you know 00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:06.720 was like fun funny and accessible way to kind 00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:08.459 of get educated about native stuff it's sort 00:07:08.459 --> 00:07:10.399 of like if the onion or the daily show wrote 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:11.980 a book about indian countries kind of the elevator 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:14.800 pitch and a lot of fantastic illustrations by 00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:17.399 julie who i was so excited to work with on it 00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:18.939 and uh yeah really proud of it you should check 00:07:18.939 --> 00:07:22.160 it out And Julia, what was it like coming aboard 00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:25.240 and getting to draw, you know, all these various 00:07:25.240 --> 00:07:27.360 pictures? Specifically Darth Vader fucking America. 00:07:27.980 --> 00:07:32.240 How did that come about? That was fun. Yeah. 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:35.160 Joey was like, hey, let's go and
meet up and 00:07:35.160 --> 00:07:37.160 let me pitch you this book that I'm doing. And 00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:38.459 I'm like, you really don't have to pitch it to 00:07:38.459 --> 00:07:42.360 me that hard. But yeah, he just I thought the 00:07:42.360 --> 00:07:44.399 idea was great. I agree. There are a lot of like. 00:07:44.810 --> 00:07:47.750 um resources for like native history and indigenous 00:07:47.750 --> 00:07:51.149 history that are almost entirely focused on trauma 00:07:51.149 --> 00:07:54.930 um and i love the idea of having a book that's 00:07:54.930 --> 00:07:57.329 uh taking itself seriously but also not serious 00:07:57.329 --> 00:08:01.470 at all um and have being able to just like create 00:08:01.470 --> 00:08:04.029 illustrations for it and not just you know drawing 00:08:04.029 --> 00:08:08.300 the same like sad native person doing a sad native 00:08:08.300 --> 00:08:10.980 thing over and over again. It's very like having 00:08:10.980 --> 00:08:15.279 like legit violence or like moments of, you know, 00:08:15.279 --> 00:08:18.420 indigenous joy or, you know, Darth Vader fucking 00:08:18.420 --> 00:08:21.680 a manatee. Like I love the range of things and 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:23.740 there was a large range of things I had to draw 00:08:23.740 --> 00:08:25.600 for this. So yeah, it was really, it was really 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:28.750 cool being a part of it. Our hobby horse on this 00:08:28.750 --> 00:08:31.610 show is talking about how it's not just shows 00:08:31.610 --> 00:08:34.389 like Andor that are political, like all art is 00:08:34.389 --> 00:08:36.149 political. And so I love hearing you guys talk 00:08:36.149 --> 00:08:38.850 about how like, it can be funny and educational 00:08:38.850 --> 00:08:41.730 at the same time. Like those things are not always 00:08:41.730 --> 00:08:44.470 like mutually exclusive. I gotta leave word for 00:08:44.470 --> 00:08:46.429 a second that hobby horse was problematic, but 00:08:46.429 --> 00:08:49.409 it's not. Wait a second. I mean, look, you are 00:08:49.409 --> 00:08:53.679 canceled. uh yeah no for sure thanks so much 00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:56.299 for saying that um it's just one thing that i'm 00:08:56.299 --> 00:08:58.039 really proud of with this book is it's the sort 00:08:58.039 --> 00:08:59.539 of thing that you can buzz through in like four 00:08:59.539 --> 00:09:02.580 hours and get um what i think is like a really 00:09:02.580 --> 00:09:05.159 well -rounded education about you know native 00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:07.139 history but also things like the land back movement 00:09:07.139 --> 00:09:09.539 like you know everything about land acknowledgements 00:09:09.539 --> 00:09:11.539 are they okay do they suck you got to read the 00:09:11.539 --> 00:09:14.009 book to find out you know um Yeah, there's a 00:09:14.009 --> 00:09:15.570 chapter. There's a series of chapters called 00:09:15.570 --> 00:09:17.549 This Person Is Not Invited to the Pow Wow featuring 00:09:17.549 --> 00:09:19.809 specific reasons why like Christopher Columbus 00:09:19.809 --> 00:09:22.370 and Andrew Jackson suck. And it's like he's on 00:09:22.370 --> 00:09:23.889 the cover saying it's my fault for everything. 00:09:23.950 --> 00:09:26.370 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. So, you know, 00:09:26.389 --> 00:09:28.309 my opinions are a little bit clear on him. But 00:09:28.309 --> 00:09:31.409 it's so, yeah, it's the sort of thing that if 00:09:31.409 --> 00:09:33.049 you do not feel like you know very much about 00:09:33.049 --> 00:09:35.789 Native people. uh or if you're just like a native 00:09:35.789 --> 00:09:37.350 person who wants to see a bunch of funny jokes 00:09:37.350 --> 00:09:39.269 like this is the sort of thing you can read in 00:09:39.269 --> 00:09:41.049 like a weekend afternoon and get like what i 00:09:41.049 --> 00:09:42.730 think is like a pretty good baseline of just 00:09:42.730 --> 00:09:46.460 education about kind of all things native And, 00:09:46.460 --> 00:09:51.440 you know, in that spirit of a lighthearted romp 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:54.080 through history, we're doing something very stupid 00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:57.759 here on the show. As opposed to the other weeks 00:09:57.759 --> 00:10:00.899 where we talk about genocide and torture. We 00:10:00.899 --> 00:10:03.600 talk about serious characters like glup shittos. 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:09.059 Exactly. We are here today to do... a draft of 00:10:09.059 --> 00:10:11.919 our favorite Glub Shiddos. Yeah, yeah. I'm going 00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:14.720 to use that to introduce the concept. We need 00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:18.100 to say what this episode is. I think we're going 00:10:18.100 --> 00:10:20.879 to get five Glub Shiddos of the week from Julie. 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:22.779 We're going to get 20 Glub Shiddos of the week. 00:10:23.559 --> 00:10:27.419 You're right. So we're here to draft Glub Shiddos 00:10:27.419 --> 00:10:31.120 because on this show, we love and adore all our 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:34.320 Glub Shiddos. And so, Julie, we're going to kick 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:38.399 this off first by asking, in honor of the late 00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:41.500 great WTF with Marc Maron. Who are your Glub 00:10:41.500 --> 00:10:42.879 Shiddos? This is not a draft. This is your own 00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:44.059 personal pack. This is outside. You can pick 00:10:44.059 --> 00:10:46.120 anybody that you want for this one. You're going 00:10:46.120 --> 00:10:48.059 to be like, in honor of WTF with Marc Maron, 00:10:48.139 --> 00:10:54.320 are we cool? Is this my Glub Shiddo out of Star 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:57.159 Wars? Yeah, yeah, in Star Wars, yeah. Oh, I didn't 00:10:57.159 --> 00:11:00.320 even think about a general Glub Shiddo. I mean, 00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:02.379 a lot of Glub Shiddos are generals, but... Yeah. 00:11:02.580 --> 00:11:06.789 Yeah, general Glub Shiddo, yeah. Yeah. Oh, man, 00:11:06.929 --> 00:11:08.389 you have to come back to
me. I didn't think I 00:11:08.389 --> 00:11:11.370 was so focused on the draft. I didn't even think 00:11:11.370 --> 00:11:13.889 about anybody truly taking this so seriously. 00:11:13.909 --> 00:11:16.309 Well, yeah, we come back later. Yeah, we'll come 00:11:16.309 --> 00:11:20.070 back to it. Because the idea here is that we 00:11:20.070 --> 00:11:22.970 are going to be going around and drafting five 00:11:22.970 --> 00:11:25.870 glove shadows across five categories, including 00:11:25.870 --> 00:11:30.970 pod racers, Jedi, the cantina, Jabba's Palace, 00:11:31.049 --> 00:11:35.700 and droids and aliens. But before we get into 00:11:35.700 --> 00:11:38.080 that, you know, it's gonna be a fucking bloodbath. 00:11:38.139 --> 00:11:40.720 Yeah, it's gonna it's a big category. But before 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:42.440 we get into that, I think in the spirit of the 00:11:42.440 --> 00:11:44.879 book, I want to know, like, do you guys have 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:48.179 any glup shittos from Native American history 00:11:48.179 --> 00:11:50.659 that maybe you would like to educate our audience 00:11:50.659 --> 00:11:53.679 about? Like somebody who speaks to you as, you 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:57.419 know, a historian of, you know, Native American 00:11:57.419 --> 00:11:59.399 history? Oh yeah, for Julie, do you want to start? 00:11:59.620 --> 00:12:02.379 Yeah, I had one pretty, almost instantly when 00:12:02.379 --> 00:12:05.600 I thought about this. And this is in the spirit 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:08.220 of like, this is a cool, cool native Globeshadow. 00:12:08.759 --> 00:12:14.320 Is it Kalashaw? They are a Yicantan Dakota writer. 00:12:15.779 --> 00:12:19.279 translator, musician. She was the first Native 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:23.259 American to write a opera. Cool. Yeah. So she 00:12:23.259 --> 00:12:26.200 wrote an opera called the Sundance Opera that 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:28.419 I think was performed in Utah. She was a huge 00:12:28.419 --> 00:12:30.399 activist. She was like a part of like one of 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:32.940 the first National Council of American Indians. 00:12:33.419 --> 00:12:38.360 She like wrote for Harper's Weekly and the Atlantic 00:12:38.360 --> 00:12:41.789 back in the day, basically saying how terrible 00:12:41.789 --> 00:12:43.710 native boarding schools were because she taught 00:12:43.710 --> 00:12:46.730 at them and went to them and she is also very 00:12:46.730 --> 00:12:49.549 hot if you go to her if you go to her wikipedia 00:12:49.549 --> 00:12:51.990 she was such a babe if you go to her wikipedia 00:12:51.990 --> 00:12:55.730 page that is smoldering yeah she's so so hot 00:12:55.730 --> 00:13:00.009 um and i think she was the coolest and uh she 00:13:00.009 --> 00:13:01.889 was just recently put on one of the quarters 00:13:01.889 --> 00:13:03.710 i guess they did like a bunch of quarters of 00:13:03.710 --> 00:13:08.009 like women of America or whatever. Um, and yeah, 00:13:08.070 --> 00:13:09.370 so she's one of the women that they featured 00:13:09.370 --> 00:13:13.610 on there cause she's sick as hell. Um, and yeah, 00:13:13.629 --> 00:13:16.250 she's just activist, musician, all around cool 00:13:16.250 --> 00:13:19.669 person. That's sick. What about you, Joey? Okay. 00:13:19.710 --> 00:13:22.820 So, uh, Mike Lapshitto is a, uh, my indigenous 00:13:22.820 --> 00:13:25.980 glupshido the book covers um covers native american 00:13:25.980 --> 00:13:28.000 history but i also kind of go into like kind 00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:29.779 of different facts and figures of indigenous 00:13:29.779 --> 00:13:32.360 people around the world uh my glupshido that 00:13:32.360 --> 00:13:34.940 immediately comes to mind is um a dude that was 00:13:34.940 --> 00:13:37.980 around in the 1500s called galvarino he was a 00:13:37.980 --> 00:13:39.799 member of i think it's called the mapuchi tribe 00:13:39.799 --> 00:13:43.279 based on what is uh modern day chile chile and 00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:47.269 um he when the conquistadors were um you know 00:13:47.269 --> 00:13:49.470 i'm gonna tell the story it's nuts when the conquistadors 00:13:49.470 --> 00:13:52.210 were you know doing their genocide thing in south 00:13:52.210 --> 00:13:56.210 america in the 1500s um they uh went to the mapuchi 00:13:56.210 --> 00:13:58.850 tribe and they did this thing where they would 00:13:58.850 --> 00:14:04.690 um any kind of male of warrior age uh to i guess 00:14:04.690 --> 00:14:06.879 like subjugate the tribe they would like make 00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:09.240 everybody put their hands on like a stump and 00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:11.360 they would like cut off their hands jesus yeah 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:14.179 it's like it's like crazy so stuff back then 00:14:14.179 --> 00:14:16.960 for punishment not as like a coming of age it 00:14:16.960 --> 00:14:18.840 was kind of a it was like a subjugation thing 00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:22.200 sort of it was like to um to subdue the populace 00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:24.580 so they would do that with the idea that being 00:14:24.580 --> 00:14:26.980 is like this is a warning and then we'll come 00:14:26.980 --> 00:14:29.320 back later and give us your gold or you know 00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:32.059 we'll kill you or whatever and um galvarino when 00:14:32.059 --> 00:14:34.120 they came to the mafucci people like was one 00:14:34.120 --> 00:14:36.009 of the first people that like went to the front 00:14:36.009 --> 00:14:38.490 of the line and was like, cut my hands off. And 00:14:38.490 --> 00:14:42.450 he did it like, and then the conquistadors thought 00:14:42.450 --> 00:14:45.110 that was really weird. And then, because he, 00:14:45.149 --> 00:14:47.529 I think that he literally said, cut my hands 00:14:47.529 --> 00:14:50.710 off or I will bite your throat out with my teeth 00:14:50.710 --> 00:14:53.370 or something. Hell yeah, brother. And then, so 00:14:53.370 --> 00:14:56.000 the conquistadors left. And when they came back
00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:58.340 a few weeks later to, like, you know, basically 00:14:58.340 --> 00:15:02.360 fulfill their threat, Galvarino was at the front 00:15:02.360 --> 00:15:04.360 of the line of Mapuche warriors with literally 00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:07.779 fucking spears tied to his wrists, like Wolverine. 00:15:08.639 --> 00:15:11.620 And there are, like, there's multiple, like, 00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:14.059 historic, there was a historian and a poet who 00:15:14.059 --> 00:15:17.500 were both there. who basically explained, like, 00:15:17.559 --> 00:15:19.460 there's some argument as to if it was spears 00:15:19.460 --> 00:15:21.379 or if it was swords or if it was daggers, but 00:15:21.379 --> 00:15:22.940 regardless, he had, like, fucking blades on his 00:15:22.940 --> 00:15:25.259 wrists. He was the front of the line. He fucking, 00:15:25.299 --> 00:15:28.980 like, gutted a conquistador general like Wolverine 00:15:28.980 --> 00:15:31.159 gutting a sentinel with his fucking wrist blades. 00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:35.580 And he, like, was such an inspiring figure for 00:15:35.580 --> 00:15:37.679 the Mampuchi people that they were actually, 00:15:37.720 --> 00:15:40.679 I think, one of only a handful of tribes in South 00:15:40.679 --> 00:15:43.000 America that were not conquered by the conquistadors. 00:15:43.460 --> 00:15:46.230 Like, they remained unconquered. until like the 00:15:46.230 --> 00:15:47.970 fucking 1900s or whatever like those guys are 00:15:47.970 --> 00:15:50.269 crazy yeah they were like that guy's crazy let's 00:15:50.269 --> 00:15:52.110 not fuck with his people we just had a people 00:15:52.110 --> 00:15:54.230 a character in andor who was missing a hand and 00:15:54.230 --> 00:15:57.450 had exactly plugged in yeah yeah there's an alien 00:15:57.450 --> 00:16:00.629 guy with uh with a sword for an arm so you know 00:16:00.629 --> 00:16:03.590 yeah that's who i was just trying to google yeah 00:16:03.590 --> 00:16:07.500 3d yeah yeah so that guy basically a reference 00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:10.419 to galvarino so yeah galvarino he's like respectfully 00:16:10.419 --> 00:16:14.440 a glupsh of indigenous history for me yeah i 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:16.740 got to draw him in the book with the the knives 00:16:16.740 --> 00:16:18.720 tied to his wrist oh hell yeah and i was like 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:20.460 this is the coolest guy in the world it's like 00:16:20.460 --> 00:16:22.279 his big black knight from multi -python energy 00:16:22.279 --> 00:16:26.799 oh yeah for sure it's just a flesh wound yeah 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:28.600 yeah it's like that but like the badass version 00:16:28.600 --> 00:16:31.320 yeah yeah it's kind of crazy that that's like 00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:34.120 a true story like if you wrote that into a movie 00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:36.399 like people would say like that's a little preposterous 00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:39.019 right like one why would he be okay with his 00:16:39.019 --> 00:16:40.940 arms getting cut off and then he's tying knives 00:16:40.940 --> 00:16:42.980 to him isn't that a little much yeah but it's 00:16:42.980 --> 00:16:44.759 like it's what's what's great about it is like 00:16:44.759 --> 00:16:47.740 they were like i said two different like people 00:16:47.740 --> 00:16:50.259 who were there who were meant to be historians 00:16:50.259 --> 00:16:52.460 and poets who both wrote about like yeah this 00:16:52.460 --> 00:16:54.740 happened and it was fucking crazy this guy was 00:16:54.740 --> 00:16:56.539 like coolish and like it was the point that one 00:16:56.539 --> 00:16:58.539 of the guys who was uh he was like a historian 00:16:58.539 --> 00:17:00.700 for the conquistadors told all the conquistadors 00:17:00.700 --> 00:17:03.620 like yo we gotta try to recruit this guy and 00:17:03.620 --> 00:17:06.039 he was like this guy needs to fight for christianity 00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:09.480 yeah he was like no fucking way you know so yeah 00:17:09.480 --> 00:17:12.720 galvarino fucking rules My brothers, why have 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:14.339 you stopped attacking these Christians, seeing 00:17:14.339 --> 00:17:16.299 them manifest damage from the day which they 00:17:16.299 --> 00:17:18.579 entered our kingdom until today they have done 00:17:18.579 --> 00:17:22.759 and are doing? That's pretty cool. That's a badass 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:25.339 monologue. And if you want to learn more about 00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:27.119 Galvarino and other history... There's a chapter 00:17:27.119 --> 00:17:28.859 about him in the book. In the book. We've been 00:17:28.859 --> 00:17:30.640 here the whole time. Get in that book. That's 00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:32.259 a sacred guide to all things State of America. 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:34.099 Variable October 6th through Andrews & Peele 00:17:34.099 --> 00:17:37.140 Publishing and Simon & Schuster. You can pre 00:17:37.140 --> 00:17:41.670 -order it at joeycliffe .com slash book. Well, 00:17:41.670 --> 00:17:44.069 now that we've taken that little trip down memory 00:17:44.069 --> 00:17:47.190 lane, I think we should get to business, which 00:17:47.190 --> 00:17:51.089 is the very important work of drafting our glupshiddos. 00:17:51.190 --> 00:17:53.829 And I think I want to take this opportunity really 00:17:53.829 --> 00:17:56.430 quick. Before we draft, I have been thinking 00:17:56.430 --> 00:18:00.809 long and hard about what is a glupshiddo. It's 00:18:00.809 --> 00:18:02.049 like pornography, you know, when you see it. 00:18:02.730 --> 00:18:06.329 I've come up with what I think is the glupshiddo 00:18:06.329 --> 00:18:08.970 test, okay? So imagine it as like a Venn diagram. 00:18:09.500 --> 00:18:12.859 where you have glups, which is a character that 00:18:12.859 --> 00:18:14.200 you love. I was hoping that's where you were 00:18:14.200 --> 00:18:17.160 going to go. A glup is a character that you love, 00:18:17.319 --> 00:18:20.160 right? It is a character who, when they pop up
00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:24.019 on screen, you are filled with joy, right? Yeah. 00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:28.279 A shido is a character that nobody but you recognizes. 00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:32.460 When you tell your friends at the movie theater, 00:18:32.660 --> 00:18:36.059 oh my God, it's that guy, they look at you like 00:18:36.059 --> 00:18:39.299 you're insane and you feel embarrassed. And so 00:18:39.299 --> 00:18:41.680 I think some characters... If you inadvertently 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:43.680 soy face in the movie theater, then you're in 00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:47.650 trouble. So, for example, I think like... R2 00:18:47.650 --> 00:18:51.009 -D2 is a glop. When R2 shows up, I love him. 00:18:51.089 --> 00:18:53.950 But everybody knows R2. My parents know who R2 00:18:53.950 --> 00:18:56.210 -D2 is. They're not surprised when I'm happy 00:18:56.210 --> 00:18:58.529 to see R2 -D2. So what's something that's a shido 00:18:58.529 --> 00:19:00.950 but not a glop? So recently I was talking to 00:19:00.950 --> 00:19:02.569 someone about like, who's your glop shido? And 00:19:02.569 --> 00:19:05.390 they said, the guy carrying the ice cream machine 00:19:05.390 --> 00:19:09.690 in Empire Strikes Back. That is a glop or a shido. 00:19:09.829 --> 00:19:12.589 Nobody has an emotional attachment to the guy 00:19:12.589 --> 00:19:15.089 who runs through the background carrying a weird 00:19:15.089 --> 00:19:18.230 object. funny as it is that there's like a tops 00:19:18.230 --> 00:19:20.890 card with him on it right so that's the item 00:19:20.890 --> 00:19:23.450 itself a club shadow is the is the ice cream 00:19:23.450 --> 00:19:26.410 thing itself a club shadow see i don't think 00:19:26.410 --> 00:19:29.049 anyone has an emotional yeah like what kind of 00:19:29.049 --> 00:19:31.869 like how big is it it's like an ice cream it's 00:19:31.869 --> 00:19:34.230 an ice cream maker from the 70s but is it sentient 00:19:34.230 --> 00:19:36.650 does it have human legs It's just a guy running 00:19:36.650 --> 00:19:37.930 around with an action figure. It's literally 00:19:37.930 --> 00:19:41.109 just a guy running around with a... Yeah, that 00:19:41.109 --> 00:19:43.390 guy's a glub shido. That's a glub shido, yeah. 00:19:43.390 --> 00:19:45.190 See, I think that's a shido, okay? He has a name. 00:19:45.190 --> 00:19:47.789 That's crazy. See, he has a name. Will Row Hood? 00:19:48.150 --> 00:19:51.049 He has an action figure. That is something that 00:19:51.049 --> 00:19:54.049 I think is so funny about Star Wars is like every 00:19:54.049 --> 00:19:55.930 background character in the original trilogy 00:19:55.930 --> 00:19:59.789 has a Wikipedia page that is 25 pages long. Yes. 00:19:59.789 --> 00:20:02.170 And then there's canon and lore. There sure is. 00:20:02.349 --> 00:20:05.650 Will Row Hood indeed has a canon and... legends 00:20:05.650 --> 00:20:08.230 page amazing next thing you're gonna tell me 00:20:08.230 --> 00:20:11.009 is that will row hood
just runs through the background 00:20:11.009 --> 00:20:15.690 without saying anything well sorry you include 00:20:15.690 --> 00:20:18.690 who says this two wills on the journey of the 00:20:18.690 --> 00:20:22.589 wills depiction of galactic love it sure i don't 00:20:22.589 --> 00:20:24.250 even know what that means so these are these 00:20:24.250 --> 00:20:26.869 are i know what wills are the microscopic aliens 00:20:26.869 --> 00:20:32.660 are talking about him yes in canon So, so there 00:20:32.660 --> 00:20:35.240 you go. That's, that's my glubshido test. I, 00:20:35.299 --> 00:20:37.480 I, and so today what we're going to do is we're 00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:40.259 going to be drafting five glubshidos. So like 00:20:40.259 --> 00:20:43.000 Zeb is a shido, but not for me is a shido, but 00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:45.400 not a glub. Exactly. Okay. Yeah. But for somebody 00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:50.359 else, he's a glubshido. So, so yeah, today we're 00:20:50.359 --> 00:20:53.720 going to be drafting five glubshidos across those 00:20:53.720 --> 00:20:55.720 categories. Well, we're building a team. Yeah. 00:20:55.779 --> 00:20:57.720 And so we're, and what we're doing is we're building. 00:20:58.109 --> 00:21:02.569 our team to go on the mission to Scarif and steal 00:21:02.569 --> 00:21:04.630 the Death Star plans. And so by the end of this, 00:21:04.690 --> 00:21:07.589 we're going to see whose team has the best chance 00:21:07.589 --> 00:21:10.569 of actually succeeding at this mission. I'm so 00:21:10.569 --> 00:21:13.230 excited. I picked all people I've never heard 00:21:13.230 --> 00:21:16.430 of before. So I went down a real rabbit hole 00:21:16.430 --> 00:21:18.089 on each person. I was like, all right, I picked 00:21:18.089 --> 00:21:21.569 this person already. Let's move on. Yeah, I feel 00:21:21.569 --> 00:21:24.750 like my strategy was, which characters do I remember 00:21:24.750 --> 00:21:31.279 looking the stupidest? I went for just the weirdest 00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:35.420 shapes. There's so many good weird shaped characters. 00:21:36.140 --> 00:21:38.299 The smile task. Whichever one made me smile the 00:21:38.299 --> 00:21:41.779 most. That's great. That's great. And so we're 00:21:41.779 --> 00:21:44.119 going to do a snake draft starting with Alex, 00:21:44.299 --> 00:21:46.680 then Julie, Joey, and then me, and then we'll 00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:49.460 go back in reverse until we... And we can each 00:21:49.460 --> 00:21:52.160 draft from any category in any order that we 00:21:52.160 --> 00:21:55.519 want, but we can only draft one character from 00:21:55.519 --> 00:22:02.539 each. category uh and so with that alex who is 00:22:02.539 --> 00:22:08.640 your first round pick um i believe oof never 00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:12.940 mind you were gonna say will row hood no i was 00:22:12.940 --> 00:22:16.019 i was gonna say a character that was about last 00:22:16.019 --> 00:22:17.200 week's episode that recorded but it would be 00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:21.319 out of date it doesn't matter just pick who you 00:22:21.319 --> 00:22:24.769 want to pick sex or jester dexter jetster especially 00:22:24.769 --> 00:22:27.230 we had uh adam lance garcia who wrote a short 00:22:27.230 --> 00:22:30.809 story in canada about him and i don't think dexter 00:22:30.809 --> 00:22:34.569 jetster from this movie i draft dexter jetster 00:22:34.569 --> 00:22:36.630 from that short story when he's like a great 00:22:36.630 --> 00:22:39.650 pick 40 years later and grizzled and like uh 00:22:39.650 --> 00:22:43.269 an old revolutionary who knows the way and ready 00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:45.609 to get people where they need to go i think he's 00:22:45.609 --> 00:22:50.220 got a lot of like He's got a lot of intuitiveness 00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:51.839 that you want on that mission going forward. 00:22:51.900 --> 00:22:55.329 He's got good instincts. He is someone who definitely 00:22:55.329 --> 00:22:57.130 makes Alex smile. He does make me smile. I can 00:22:57.130 --> 00:22:59.430 say that. Every time Dexter has come up on the 00:22:59.430 --> 00:23:05.549 show, Alex beams from ear to ear. It says here, 00:23:05.750 --> 00:23:10.450 Dexter Dex Jetster, nicknamed Dexy Jet, was a 00:23:10.450 --> 00:23:12.529 male Besselist prospector. Who called him that? 00:23:12.549 --> 00:23:16.309 When was he referred to as Dexy Jet? It doesn't 00:23:16.309 --> 00:23:21.029 have a citation, so I don't know. Alex does. 00:23:21.190 --> 00:23:25.809 Alex calls him that. And yeah, he is the diner 00:23:25.809 --> 00:23:28.829 owner in Attack of the Clones, who is a dear 00:23:28.829 --> 00:23:31.950 old friend of Obi -Wan Kenobi and who much to 00:23:31.950 --> 00:23:37.250 Alex's chagrin or dismay never showed up in the 00:23:37.250 --> 00:23:41.410 Obi -Wan show. There's always season two. There 00:23:41.410 --> 00:23:47.049 will never be a season two. Julie, who's your 00:23:47.049 --> 00:23:53.990 first round pick? All right. Very short description 00:23:53.990 --> 00:23:58.930 of this guy, but Gonky for droids. Yes. I think 00:23:58.930 --> 00:24:00.970 I was having trouble because there's like bajillion 00:24:00.970 --> 00:24:05.190 droids. Yes. And I think I was just looking around. 00:24:05.309 --> 00:24:08.789 I was clicking around Wikipedia. And yeah, Gonky 00:24:08.789 --> 00:24:13.339 is a GNK series power droid. And I love the description 00:24:13.339 --> 00:24:17.579 of, as an unusually enthusiastic member of the 00:24:17.579 --> 00:24:20.339 series, it has a taste for combat situations. 00:24:22.180 --> 00:24:25.660 And I thought that was hilarious. And he's been 00:24:25.660 --> 00:24:29.279 in the smuggler's crew, apparently, and he's 00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:31.240 just like a power droid who's like, yeah, I'm 00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:35.019 ready to kill people, possibly. I love Gonky. 00:24:35.480 --> 00:24:37.500 How did they blow it and the garbage cans at 00:24:37.500 --> 00:24:40.640
Galaxy's Edge are not Gonky? I know, right? That's 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:43.329 such an obvious... You would think. There's no 00:24:43.329 --> 00:24:45.990 gonk droids walking around. I get that, like, 00:24:46.049 --> 00:24:49.069 the other droids are a little bit too conspicuous. 00:24:49.069 --> 00:24:51.170 Like, my understanding, like, according to the 00:24:51.170 --> 00:24:53.910 Defunctland video, like, when the droids were 00:24:53.910 --> 00:24:55.809 walking around, there were just so many crowds 00:24:55.809 --> 00:24:58.990 around them that it was becoming, like, a walking 00:24:58.990 --> 00:25:00.970 hazard. No, just make the station, like, the 00:25:00.970 --> 00:25:03.250 non -moving garbage cans look like this. Yeah, 00:25:03.349 --> 00:25:05.410 they could literally just be little statues. 00:25:05.980 --> 00:25:07.859 like put a light on him or something yeah they 00:25:07.859 --> 00:25:10.079 said like he serves as a table for his squad 00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:13.400 mates to play board games on put a put a the 00:25:13.400 --> 00:25:16.119 space chest on top of him or whatever it that's 00:25:16.119 --> 00:25:19.279 called yes uh gonky is a recurring character 00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:22.759 in the bad batch the the disney plus animated 00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:25.180 uh series i think it's the first time i've seen 00:25:25.180 --> 00:25:28.880 that has a canon page but no Because he's one 00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:33.539 of the most recent additions to the Star Wars 00:25:33.539 --> 00:25:36.039 canon. He's only canon. Everything that you've 00:25:36.039 --> 00:25:39.480 ever seen about him is real. And apparently Wrecker 00:25:39.480 --> 00:25:41.799 was also known to use Gonky as exercise equipment. 00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:43.460 I have no idea who Wrecker is and I don't want 00:25:43.460 --> 00:25:45.359 to know. Yeah, what does that mean? Have I seen 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:46.819 something with Wrecker? Yeah, when you watch 00:25:46.819 --> 00:25:50.420 the Bad Batch clips, Wrecker... For the Saw Gerrera 00:25:50.420 --> 00:25:51.799 episode. I don't remember any of this. Well, 00:25:51.799 --> 00:25:53.599 you don't remember. He's the big guy. I know. 00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:55.720 He's the big clone. Before we click on it, how 00:25:55.720 --> 00:25:57.940 long do we think Wrecker's Wookieepedia entry 00:25:57.940 --> 00:26:01.640 is? Oh, it's a big one. Okay, let's see. It's 00:26:01.640 --> 00:26:04.119 a big one. I mean, he's a main character. Oh 00:26:04.119 --> 00:26:07.460 my god, that's so long. There's so many things. 00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:10.819 There's seven main sections and like 20 subsections. 00:26:11.099 --> 00:26:14.000 His behind the scenes also includes a contradictions 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:17.839 section. Oh, you can scroll it so long. The behind 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:20.890 the scenes. section of gonky has non canonical 00:26:20.890 --> 00:26:23.630 appearance wow so my question is why is this 00:26:23.630 --> 00:26:29.170 not split into a uh because he showed up in the 00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:33.569 lego star wars game which is not a legends non 00:26:33.569 --> 00:26:35.930 -canon which would be a non -canon page then 00:26:35.930 --> 00:26:38.650 there is no such thing as a non -canon page legends 00:26:38.650 --> 00:26:42.180 only refers to things prior to the Disney acquisition. 00:26:42.180 --> 00:26:45.019 This is like a Lego tab. A Lego tab. Look, the 00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:48.519 Lego Star Wars games are canon for only the scenes 00:26:48.519 --> 00:26:52.829 Gonky is in. Also, I just love saying Gonky. 00:26:52.930 --> 00:26:56.789 That's fun. It's a great name. I had a Gonky, 00:26:56.789 --> 00:27:00.869 a Gonk on my list before. I ultimately did not 00:27:00.869 --> 00:27:03.009 include him, but I love a Gonk droids, which 00:27:03.009 --> 00:27:06.029 is an incredible pick. Yeah, I love any of the 00:27:06.029 --> 00:27:08.410 droids that are like, kind of like R2 that are 00:27:08.410 --> 00:27:10.769 ready to just kill people. I'm going to give 00:27:10.769 --> 00:27:13.369 everybody a sneak peek right now, which is that 00:27:13.369 --> 00:27:15.349 we're going to have some really great merch. 00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:19.259 by our artist, Chris McKay, who did our podcast 00:27:19.259 --> 00:27:23.559 art. And she drew this incredible gonk droid 00:27:23.559 --> 00:27:27.779 that we are going to have on shirts and mugs 00:27:27.779 --> 00:27:32.720 and everything. So look forward to that. And 00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:33.799 what's the name of the little mouse creature? 00:27:33.859 --> 00:27:35.660 I forgot. I don't remember. I don't know who 00:27:35.660 --> 00:27:37.619 the mouse guy is. I love that little mouse. But 00:27:37.619 --> 00:27:39.740 he's very cute. I don't know what that character 00:27:39.740 --> 00:27:42.519 is. Probably has a 50 -page Wikipedia thing. 00:27:42.940 --> 00:27:45.119 Did you know he was best friends with Darth Vader? 00:27:46.440 --> 00:27:49.119 It's the Muad'Dib. That's the mouth that's right 00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:54.500 there. The gonk is Lisa Nalgaib. I'm just looking 00:27:54.500 --> 00:27:58.880 up Star Wars rat now. Star Wars rat. While Julie's 00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:02.539 looking up rats, Joey, who's your number one 00:28:02.539 --> 00:28:07.519 draft pick? Okay, so this is tough. I feel like 00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:11.299 I agree with all the picks so far. I think that 00:28:11.299 --> 00:28:14.339 I'm going to say my number one draft pick I'm 00:28:14.339 --> 00:28:16.220 going to say my number one draft pick is Clegg 00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:19.740 Holdfast. Oh, my God. You sniped him from me. 00:28:21.799 --> 00:28:25.440 Look, Clegg Holdfast rocks. He was a pod racer 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:28.500 and journalist. He's a male Nororean journalist 00:28:28.500 --> 00:28:31.460 from the magazine Podracer Quarterly, which is 00:28:31.460 --> 00:28:34.319 a real magazine in the Star
Wars universe. He 00:28:34.319 --> 00:28:37.000 often wears medals he earned from pod racing 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:39.720 in this universe. Just look at that. Like, it's 00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:41.970 like. Winning a pod race is the equivalent of 00:28:41.970 --> 00:28:44.410 winning a war in the Star Wars universe. He's 00:28:44.410 --> 00:28:46.410 got a big earring. Yeah. He's got a big earring. 00:28:46.450 --> 00:28:49.670 He's very snooty. I remember in the pod race 00:28:49.670 --> 00:28:52.690 scene, he does a little bow. He goes, hmm. Well, 00:28:52.769 --> 00:28:54.630 what I love about him is that looking at that, 00:28:54.710 --> 00:28:57.210 he's clearly a good pod racer, but people claim 00:28:57.210 --> 00:29:00.190 he is a better journalist than he is a pod racer. 00:29:00.430 --> 00:29:02.470 So I think that with somebody with that investigative 00:29:02.470 --> 00:29:04.910 ability, that would be so good to have on the 00:29:04.910 --> 00:29:07.829 team to get the Death Star plans. You just mentioned 00:29:07.829 --> 00:29:09.589 it. He briefly appeared in Star Wars. Star Wars 00:29:09.589 --> 00:29:12.650 Episode I, the podracer Boonta Eve classic, where 00:29:12.650 --> 00:29:14.589 he was shown getting set on fire and presumably 00:29:14.589 --> 00:29:17.569 dying after being incinerated by Sebulba's engines. 00:29:17.869 --> 00:29:20.869 He had one action figure released by Hasbro in 00:29:20.869 --> 00:29:24.069 2009. My number one draft pick, one more time, 00:29:24.150 --> 00:29:27.890 is Clegg Holdfast. Holdfast searched for dirty 00:29:27.890 --> 00:29:31.660 news in the cantina of Mos Espa. What is dirty 00:29:31.660 --> 00:29:36.240 news? I don't care. What's dirty news for Star 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:39.160 Wars? It just says dirty news. Yeah. What is 00:29:39.160 --> 00:29:42.059 dirty news in our universe? I think it must be 00:29:42.059 --> 00:29:47.140 like... I'm thinking TMZ type. Yeah, yeah. It 00:29:47.140 --> 00:29:51.500 was Anakin Skywalker's favorite magazine. Do 00:29:51.500 --> 00:29:53.339 you think that Sony's actually created a dirty 00:29:53.339 --> 00:29:56.440 news fanzine that's 50 issues deep or something? 00:29:56.740 --> 00:30:01.640 If they haven't, we're going to now. I thought 00:30:01.640 --> 00:30:04.380 I was so silly for making multiple picks for 00:30:04.380 --> 00:30:06.200 each draft because I was like, there's no way. 00:30:06.279 --> 00:30:08.180 There's so many characters. What are the odds 00:30:08.180 --> 00:30:11.500 that someone's going to steal mine? I have five 00:30:11.500 --> 00:30:14.400 for all of them. I do too. Okay, I'm glad I'm 00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:17.759 not the only one who overprepared. I was really 00:30:17.759 --> 00:30:20.259 worried I was overdoing it. I had one for each 00:30:20.259 --> 00:30:22.700 and the first two kind of sniped two of my picks. 00:30:24.859 --> 00:30:27.140 I'm good so far, but yeah, I might have to be 00:30:27.140 --> 00:30:29.759 doing some research while we do this. All right, 00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:32.480 all right. Also, I think that rat is just a very 00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:35.660 cute womp rat. Ah, yeah, that would be it. Thank 00:30:35.660 --> 00:30:41.119 you. So look forward to Gonk and Womp on a t 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:45.079 -shirt near you soon. Clickhole Fest just sounds 00:30:45.079 --> 00:30:49.079 like a character actor who's been around. Yeah, 00:30:49.160 --> 00:30:53.799 it sounds like a regular Earth name. Clegg? Nick 00:30:53.799 --> 00:30:58.039 Clegg was like a major British politician recently. 00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:01.900 That doesn't count. I can hear it. I can see 00:31:01.900 --> 00:31:04.160 it. I'll give it to Alex. British names aren't 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:10.359 real names. My first draft pick is going to be 00:31:10.359 --> 00:31:14.819 from the Jabba's Palace category. This is Malakili, 00:31:15.059 --> 00:31:18.279 who is better known as the Rancor Keeper. Oh, 00:31:18.279 --> 00:31:20.779 I love that guy. I love that guy. That guy has 00:31:20.779 --> 00:31:23.819 great chest hair. Yes, a human male from the 00:31:23.819 --> 00:31:27.539 planet Corellia who spent, who, you know, having 00:31:27.539 --> 00:31:30.539 an affinity for animals was hired as a beast 00:31:30.539 --> 00:31:34.400 master for the Hutt Circuses, but was sold into 00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.670 slavery. after a creature got loose and killed 00:31:37.670 --> 00:31:41.009 audience members. Purchased by Jabba the Hutt, 00:31:41.069 --> 00:31:43.750 Malakili served as a caretaker to the creatures 00:31:43.750 --> 00:31:47.369 in Jabba's palace and became fond of Jabba's 00:31:47.369 --> 00:31:50.170 rancor. And the creature saved his life during 00:31:50.170 --> 00:31:54.410 a Tusken Raider attack. Sympathizing with Patisa... 00:31:54.700 --> 00:31:57.759 the rancor. Malakili planned to one day escape 00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:01.460 with the beast until the nefarious Luke Skywalker 00:32:01.460 --> 00:32:05.220 killed her. No, no, no. Jesus! Oh, man. I never 00:32:05.220 --> 00:32:07.319 knew her actual name. That's sad. I'm sending 00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:08.980 you a comic that you can pull up on the screen. 00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:12.440 Okay. It's by Chris Gugliotti. I'm sure I'm not 00:32:12.440 --> 00:32:15.259 saying that correctly, but this is Alex Cannon. 00:32:16.180 --> 00:32:17.920 This is now part of Alex Cannon. If you want 00:32:17.920 --> 00:32:21.119 to pull it up so the whole group can see. Let 00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:25.529 me make it bigger. It's just... it's a baby rancor 00:32:25.529 --> 00:32:29.410 being raised by him oh okay he's okay yes and 00:32:29.410 --> 00:32:32.369 then the scene happens uh but then he he's okay 00:32:32.369 --> 00:32:35.390 he's feeding him the smallest bowl of soup yes 00:32:35.390 --> 00:32:37.950 and like a big a big thing tied around his head 00:32:37.950 --> 00:32:40.619 like he has a toothache yeah okay this is canon
00:32:40.619 --> 00:32:43.599 that's canon uh unfortunately he is crying quite 00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:50.619 sadly when uh when poor patisa uh is you know 00:32:50.619 --> 00:32:54.160 squished i want to also highlight uh skin color 00:32:54.160 --> 00:32:58.240 swarthy what does that mean oh cool apparently 00:32:58.240 --> 00:33:02.019 this comes from a tops trading card oh my god 00:33:02.019 --> 00:33:04.339 for a period in american history swarthy just 00:33:04.339 --> 00:33:06.160 meant you have black hair that's that's all it 00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:10.299 meant but it's skin color Yeah, that makes it 00:33:10.299 --> 00:33:11.480 sound like he's a pirate. Does it say skin is 00:33:11.480 --> 00:33:14.220 swarthy or does it just say skin color is swarthy? 00:33:14.279 --> 00:33:17.660 That makes no sense. Why did they need skin color 00:33:17.660 --> 00:33:22.039 on those cards? Well, just for the aliens. Yeah, 00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:27.579 yeah. Right. Okay, sure. So that is my first 00:33:27.579 --> 00:33:31.299 round pick. And then thanks to the snake draft. 00:33:31.460 --> 00:33:33.740 What is he doing on your ship? Or do you want 00:33:33.740 --> 00:33:35.299 to talk about this later? Yeah, yeah. Let's talk 00:33:35.299 --> 00:33:37.980 about it later. We'll get our crew. We'll talk 00:33:37.980 --> 00:33:40.720 about it off mic. We'll talk about it outside. 00:33:41.900 --> 00:33:45.200 My second round pick is going to be from the 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:50.900 cantina scene. And this is... Oh, I love him. 00:33:50.900 --> 00:33:56.380 He was on my list. Yeah, he's fun. She is a Chandra 00:33:56.380 --> 00:34:02.279 fan, patron of Chalmun's Spaceport Cantina, who 00:34:02.279 --> 00:34:05.839 you will recognize as the little guy asking for 00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:09.719 a drinky at the bar. That is the definition of 00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:13.590 just a little guy. I love how many people, or 00:34:13.590 --> 00:34:15.449 I guess creatures, whatever you want to call 00:34:15.449 --> 00:34:17.969 them in the cantina, are just little guys. Yeah. 00:34:18.150 --> 00:34:20.250 This is the bad boy that the National Enquirer 00:34:20.250 --> 00:34:23.530 always talked about. She tried to order blue 00:34:23.530 --> 00:34:27.289 milk, but had zero credits, and then overheard 00:34:27.289 --> 00:34:28.150 a conversation between... I think she was too 00:34:28.150 --> 00:34:31.690 short to be heard. She heard about an Imperial 00:34:31.690 --> 00:34:36.110 cruiser loaded with valuable cargo aboard, and 00:34:36.110 --> 00:34:38.210 she eventually captured the item and exchanged 00:34:38.210 --> 00:34:40.489 it with one of the beings for credits, which 00:34:40.489 --> 00:34:43.630 she was then able... to buy her blue milk so 00:34:43.630 --> 00:34:48.170 so good old resourceful kabe the the stealer 00:34:48.170 --> 00:34:51.010 uh i do want to shout out in the legends continuity 00:34:51.010 --> 00:34:54.309 she has a very cute thing where she was adopted 00:34:54.309 --> 00:34:59.050 by muftak who's this guy oh in the in the cantina 00:34:59.050 --> 00:35:02.699 and they have a kind of Leon the Professional. 00:35:02.840 --> 00:35:08.519 No. But in the good way, not the problematic 00:35:08.519 --> 00:35:15.420 way. Oh, okay. So, yes, Kabe is my number two 00:35:15.420 --> 00:35:18.039 pick. Why do the legends in Canada have different 00:35:18.039 --> 00:35:20.860 photos, Rustin? Because of the source material 00:35:20.860 --> 00:35:23.219 that they come from, usually. It's the same movie? 00:35:24.029 --> 00:35:26.929 I think, you know, it's, it's how they do it. 00:35:26.929 --> 00:35:28.889 A Canon picture. Like I think for, if you're 00:35:28.889 --> 00:35:32.010 talking about for like Kabe, for example, I think 00:35:32.010 --> 00:35:35.010 that the Canon picture is probably from like 00:35:35.010 --> 00:35:39.110 a, a source book or, you know, one of those visual 00:35:39.110 --> 00:35:41.210 dictionaries. Cause it's like a much more close 00:35:41.210 --> 00:35:44.929 up, more detailed photo of her than you get in 00:35:44.929 --> 00:35:47.710 the movie. But the, but the legend one is from 00:35:47.710 --> 00:35:51.590 a trading card. Look, I'm not a Wikipedia editor, 00:35:51.789 --> 00:35:54.690 okay? The closest we have. You said that like 00:35:54.690 --> 00:35:57.789 you are a Wikipedia editor. Just what a Wikipedia 00:35:57.789 --> 00:36:00.269 editor would say. Wait, are you the guy that 00:36:00.269 --> 00:36:04.329 wrote DexJet? Is DexterJester's DexyJet? DexyJet? 00:36:04.630 --> 00:36:09.710 DexyJet, yeah, yeah. Well, Kabi's my number two. 00:36:09.769 --> 00:36:13.610 Joey, we're back around to you now. Okay, so 00:36:13.610 --> 00:36:17.800 I am going to say my... This is a tough call. 00:36:18.039 --> 00:36:19.679 I feel like we've all had some really great picks 00:36:19.679 --> 00:36:25.179 so far. I'm going to say that my number two is, 00:36:25.320 --> 00:36:29.760 under the Jedi classification, is a character 00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:31.320 I'm going to give a little bit of context for 00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:36.019 before naming. Earlier, I feel like Dexter Jetster 00:36:36.019 --> 00:36:40.239 was snaked as my Glupshido. God damn it! God 00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:43.639 damn it! I know where this is going. I'm mad. 00:36:43.780 --> 00:36:49.400 I did not pick actual Dexter Jexter. Two for 00:36:49.400 --> 00:36:53.300 two. Yeah, I picked, because Dexter, not a Jedi. 00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:56.940 He's a guy who owns a 1950s diner. He's a lot 00:36:56.940 --> 00:36:59.719 of things, but he's not a Jedi. But there's a 00:36:59.719 --> 00:37:03.000 member of his alien species, the Basclisks. who 00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:06.340 is a Jedi named Pong Krell. I love that you knew. 00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:08.500 I knew where this was going. He was introduced 00:37:08.500 --> 00:37:11.840 in the Clone Wars TV series. And Pong is like 00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:14.840 a fantastic
Jedi. He fights with two double -edged 00:37:14.840 --> 00:37:16.940 lightsabers, which he wields in his forearms. 00:37:17.099 --> 00:37:20.579 He killed, in canon, more clone troopers than 00:37:20.579 --> 00:37:24.019 any Jedi ever, and is considered one of the most 00:37:24.019 --> 00:37:25.719 successful generals in the Republic military. 00:37:26.300 --> 00:37:29.039 So with all these badass accomplishments, he 00:37:29.039 --> 00:37:30.840 of course turned to the dark side so he could 00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:33.400 train on a Count Dooku. Before he could do that, 00:37:33.420 --> 00:37:36.039 he was captured and shot for treason. I just 00:37:36.039 --> 00:37:38.500 think it's so funny that a writer for the Clone 00:37:38.500 --> 00:37:42.659 Wars saw Dexter Jetster in the Clone Wars movie 00:37:42.659 --> 00:37:45.110 and was like... Not only do we need to see more 00:37:45.110 --> 00:37:47.530 of this guy's species, we need to give one of 00:37:47.530 --> 00:37:49.010 the most important, make him one of the most 00:37:49.010 --> 00:37:52.630 important characters in all of Star Wars. There's 00:37:52.630 --> 00:37:54.670 a subsection on his Wikipedia that is the Carnage 00:37:54.670 --> 00:37:59.429 of Krell. Yes. Yes. He's in an arc of the Clone 00:37:59.429 --> 00:38:02.710 Wars called the Umbara Arc. And he is leading 00:38:02.710 --> 00:38:05.969 a regiment of clone troopers. And he does not 00:38:05.969 --> 00:38:09.110 care about throwing them into the maw of the 00:38:09.110 --> 00:38:12.309 separatists and does not care how many die for 00:38:12.309 --> 00:38:15.170 him to satisfy. you know his military objectives 00:38:15.170 --> 00:38:19.570 and then is later you know revealed to be a traitorous 00:38:19.570 --> 00:38:22.989 jedi oh shit uh yeah who who believes that the 00:38:22.989 --> 00:38:26.429 clone wars were a folly imagine that imagine 00:38:26.429 --> 00:38:29.789 if uh the forever war was a bad idea yeah this 00:38:29.789 --> 00:38:31.550 guy was like hey i hate this and they're like 00:38:31.550 --> 00:38:34.269 shut up it's just so funny to me that somebody 00:38:34.269 --> 00:38:37.710 saw dexter jetster in the clone wars movie and 00:38:37.710 --> 00:38:41.400 was like What if that guy was cool? Dexter Jester 00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:43.699 is cool. No, no, no. Yeah. You know, what if 00:38:43.699 --> 00:38:47.780 he was like tough? I'm trying to remember who 00:38:47.780 --> 00:38:50.780 voices him. The double -bladed lightsabers is 00:38:50.780 --> 00:38:53.820 pretty cool. Yeah. Anybody who gets those is 00:38:53.820 --> 00:38:59.380 just automatically deemed cool. Can I get a picture? 00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:01.960 Like, look at that. He's got two double -sided. 00:39:02.179 --> 00:39:04.059 Oh, and he's got those arms. Ah, yeah. According 00:39:04.059 --> 00:39:06.590 to the Star Wars UK Twitter account. He is the 00:39:06.590 --> 00:39:08.610 only person potentially worse than Darth Sidious. 00:39:10.110 --> 00:39:15.550 Discover why on Disney Plus UK. Incredible pick, 00:39:15.670 --> 00:39:18.840 Joey. Yeah, I originally wanted all of my picks 00:39:18.840 --> 00:39:21.119 to be background characters from the actual movies. 00:39:21.440 --> 00:39:24.119 But then I was just researching weird Jedis and 00:39:24.119 --> 00:39:26.400 I was like, I got to do the one that's just Dexter 00:39:26.400 --> 00:39:29.559 Jexter if he was a Jedi. I mean, if Pong Krell 00:39:29.559 --> 00:39:32.699 showed up in a trailer, Reddit would go crazy. 00:39:32.900 --> 00:39:36.139 Yeah, for sure. So incredible pick. I think a 00:39:36.139 --> 00:39:40.039 quintessential Glupshido for sure. Julie, who's 00:39:40.039 --> 00:39:43.079 your number two draft pick? I'm going to go back 00:39:43.079 --> 00:39:46.559 to Jabba's Palace. Okay. And I'm going to go 00:39:46.559 --> 00:39:48.920 with, again, a guy that I was just like, whoa, 00:39:49.159 --> 00:39:57.469 he just looks cool. Bane Malar. He is a telepathic 00:39:57.469 --> 00:40:00.570 male bounty hunter. Ooh. That is cool. Yeah. 00:40:00.590 --> 00:40:03.769 And I was like, okay, this guy looks like he 00:40:03.769 --> 00:40:07.489 is in Daft Punk. Oh, yeah. And he's a bounty 00:40:07.489 --> 00:40:09.730 hunter. He escaped the spice mines of Kessel. 00:40:09.869 --> 00:40:12.170 Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I guess he was, yeah, he 00:40:12.170 --> 00:40:15.170 was in Jabba's Palace, I think, during all the 00:40:15.170 --> 00:40:17.349 stuff that went down, I think in episode four. 00:40:17.389 --> 00:40:20.400 I don't remember. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, that 00:40:20.400 --> 00:40:24.599 suit's just sick as hell. And I like that he's 00:40:24.599 --> 00:40:26.840 telepathic. There's not really any explanation 00:40:26.840 --> 00:40:31.659 for that. And then there's something about it's 00:40:31.659 --> 00:40:36.219 enhanced when he takes Glitter Stim. And I'm 00:40:36.219 --> 00:40:40.960 like, there's drugs? Oh, yeah. And it has a very 00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:46.019 silly name. It allowed him to invade the minds 00:40:46.019 --> 00:40:49.159 of those he was hunting down. Yeah, which is 00:40:49.159 --> 00:40:51.219 a crazy pattern. Holy shit. The tone that you 00:40:51.219 --> 00:40:53.199 said that in was like, wait, this guy does drugs? 00:40:53.380 --> 00:40:55.380 I didn't know there was a cool guy in Star Wars. 00:40:57.239 --> 00:40:59.639 I just didn't know. I guess I assumed there were 00:40:59.639 --> 00:41:01.500 drugs. No one ever talks about the drugs in Star 00:41:01.500 --> 00:41:03.400 Wars. It was like death sticks. Yeah, okay. Yeah, 00:41:03.420 --> 00:41:08.179 yeah, yeah. I assume this is like cocaine. Cocaine 00:41:08.179 --> 00:41:11.760 for space cocaine? It's a variant of spice. Yeah, 00:41:11.840 --> 00:41:16.460 they come from spice spiders. Yeah. Twice as 00:41:16.460 --> 00:41:19.760 potent as real? What's real? Yeah, spice spiders 00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.619 produce webs of pure glitter stems.
So it's like 00:41:22.619 --> 00:41:24.760 there's a spider that just shoots cocaine out 00:41:24.760 --> 00:41:29.320 of its butt. Arrowid. Yeah, it's real arrowid. 00:41:29.340 --> 00:41:32.619 Yeah. Glitter stem makes it sound really cute 00:41:32.619 --> 00:41:38.599 to do. Yeah. I do glitter stem. uh but yeah i 00:41:38.599 --> 00:41:41.840 thought he would look cool super cool yeah absolutely 00:41:41.840 --> 00:41:44.480 i have never noticed him before but yeah this 00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:46.559 is definitely like a big background character 00:41:46.559 --> 00:41:48.119 that i'm like well i'm just gonna remember this 00:41:48.119 --> 00:41:53.639 guy now uh alex i'm trying to i there was there 00:41:53.639 --> 00:41:55.400 was a quote from the dexter justice story which 00:41:55.400 --> 00:41:58.320 was like revolution is like as is like death 00:41:58.320 --> 00:42:01.260 sticks like if it's it feels good if it's equally 00:42:01.260 --> 00:42:04.460 as dangerous yeah yeah i meant to save that i 00:42:04.460 --> 00:42:07.400 couldn't find it um For my number two pick, I'm 00:42:07.400 --> 00:42:11.960 going to also go to the Jedi pool because Pong 00:42:11.960 --> 00:42:13.179 Kral got taken. I don't want to lose my next 00:42:13.179 --> 00:42:15.599 pick. So welcome to the board. Welcome aboard 00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:21.179 Yaddle. Nice. Yay. Good job. Who talks normally 00:42:21.179 --> 00:42:25.019 and proves that Yoda is just a weird fucko. Yay. 00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:28.360 What is it about Yaddle that... She's Yoda with 00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:32.099 a wig. Yoda with hair. Yoda is Yaddle without 00:42:32.099 --> 00:42:35.079 hair. Yeah, yeah. Yaddle is the one who led the 00:42:35.079 --> 00:42:38.630 way. She was a Jedi master and was in charge 00:42:38.630 --> 00:42:41.809 of Jedi initiates during the High Republic era. 00:42:42.489 --> 00:42:44.949 She fought against the Path of the Open Hand, 00:42:45.150 --> 00:42:48.670 a cult that was hateful of the Jedi and any who 00:42:48.670 --> 00:42:52.690 used the Force. Then during the last years of 00:42:52.690 --> 00:42:54.530 the High Republic, she was a member of the Jedi 00:42:54.530 --> 00:42:59.090 House. high council uh and she pursued fellow 00:42:59.090 --> 00:43:02.250 jedi master dooku after observing suspicious 00:43:02.250 --> 00:43:05.610 behavior on his part and she ended up encountering 00:43:05.610 --> 00:43:09.409 the dark lord of the sith darth sidious who ordered 00:43:09.409 --> 00:43:12.889 the jedi master to kill his colleague she just 00:43:12.889 --> 00:43:14.929 is also like if yoda is such like a great muppet 00:43:14.929 --> 00:43:18.380 that like what nots are what they call Muppets 00:43:18.380 --> 00:43:19.900 creators call sort of like the base Muppet that 00:43:19.900 --> 00:43:21.199 you could sort of like add things or remove things 00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:22.800 from. And I feel like this is just, we have the 00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:25.320 Yoda. We're
just going to put a wig on top. We're 00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:27.559 just going to put significant hair onto Yoda. 00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:30.900 Yeah. Just a slight of, what else can we do? 00:43:30.980 --> 00:43:32.239 We can add other costumes. We can add things 00:43:32.239 --> 00:43:33.679 to other people. We're just going to add a wig 00:43:33.679 --> 00:43:36.719 to Yoda. Yoda did not learn that Yaddle died 00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:44.219 until 3 ABY in the cave of evil. Oh, no. She 00:43:44.219 --> 00:43:46.880 was such an aftermath that she just disappeared 00:43:46.880 --> 00:43:49.000 and everyone was like, huh, I wonder where Yaddle 00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:54.460 went. Oh, my God. Well, she had a child. She 00:43:54.460 --> 00:43:58.980 was on maternity leave. I mean, there has to 00:43:58.980 --> 00:44:01.480 be, right? That'll have to be Grogu's mom. Wait, 00:44:01.539 --> 00:44:03.920 is that canon? No, we don't know yet. It's what 00:44:03.920 --> 00:44:06.599 I believe in my heart. I mean, look, she died 00:44:06.599 --> 00:44:10.480 12 BBY. When does Mando season one take place? 00:44:10.480 --> 00:44:12.400 Oh, we're going to find some shit out right now. 00:44:13.420 --> 00:44:18.659 Yeah. Well, he's at least 50. Yeah, yeah. No, 00:44:18.699 --> 00:44:22.539 we know he's 50, yeah. It takes place 9 ABY. 00:44:23.690 --> 00:44:27.150 How long is the gestation period? Yeah. Are they 00:44:27.150 --> 00:44:29.289 like whales? She would have had him before she 00:44:29.289 --> 00:44:32.429 died. That's usually how babies work. No, I'm 00:44:32.429 --> 00:44:36.130 just saying he would have been like 30 plus years 00:44:36.130 --> 00:44:39.130 old by the time that Yaddle died because he's 00:44:39.130 --> 00:44:44.309 50 in 9 ABY is what I'm getting at. So yeah, 00:44:44.389 --> 00:44:48.630 she was a new mom to a young 30 -year -old Grogu 00:44:48.630 --> 00:44:53.969 when she was struck down. Tragic. Not the CGI 00:44:53.969 --> 00:44:57.590 Yaddle. The CGI Yaddle is too Yassified. I want 00:44:57.590 --> 00:45:00.909 the original Muppet Yaddle. Being very specific. 00:45:01.110 --> 00:45:06.190 Muppet variant specifically. Alex, as the... 00:45:06.190 --> 00:45:07.849 Oh, that's right. I get a snake. Yeah, as the 00:45:07.849 --> 00:45:11.289 snake. You get your third round pick now. I'm 00:45:11.289 --> 00:45:14.010 going to do a little fight here for Podracers. 00:45:14.190 --> 00:45:20.489 Okay. I draft Cobb Vanth. I recognize that name. 00:45:21.110 --> 00:45:25.199 Cobb Vanth. Oh, yeah. He's not a pod racer. Hot 00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:29.199 dad. What does he drive? Hot dad. He drives a 00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:32.559 pod racer? That's correct. He does drive a pod 00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:37.159 racer? Yeah. You're like, ah. It's constructed 00:45:37.159 --> 00:45:38.719 using the engine of a pod racer. I'm googling 00:45:38.719 --> 00:45:42.599 it. Yeah, it's like, I guess it kind of does. 00:45:42.599 --> 00:45:45.320 It's literally called a speeder. Just because 00:45:45.320 --> 00:45:49.280 it has a paragraph. That was made from a modified 00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:53.239 pod racing engine. What makes a pod racer? You 00:45:53.239 --> 00:45:55.599 have to pod race, right? He's not in a pod race. 00:45:55.659 --> 00:45:58.429 We don't know if he didn't pod race. well i mean 00:45:58.429 --> 00:46:01.289 we can't we do know because i'm gonna do they're 00:46:01.289 --> 00:46:03.090 banned he could have done that in the background 00:46:03.090 --> 00:46:05.929 i mean this happens a lot in the uh the mad max 00:46:05.929 --> 00:46:09.190 canon where you get like where you get like a 00:46:09.190 --> 00:46:12.190 helicopter that is just the helicopter chassis 00:46:12.190 --> 00:46:14.949 on tank treads and it's like is that a helicopter 00:46:14.949 --> 00:46:19.820 no it's a tank Yeah, but I don't know. What do 00:46:19.820 --> 00:46:23.360 we think? I say no to this. Yeah, if it inherently 00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:26.480 can't fly, then it's probably not a helicopter. 00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:31.500 So my question is, let's take a 45 -minute break 00:46:31.500 --> 00:46:34.739 and read the 50 pages of this guy's Wikipedia. 00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:38.599 was a pod racer at some point in his life. This 00:46:38.599 --> 00:46:41.039 is literally the only, there's only one reference 00:46:41.039 --> 00:46:44.559 to pod racer on his entire Wikipedia page. Look, 00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:46.460 click on the pod racer. There's probably a very 00:46:46.460 --> 00:46:47.940 long explanation as to how he got that pod racer. 00:46:47.940 --> 00:46:50.860 It is Anakin Skywalker's pod racer. Oh my God. 00:46:51.119 --> 00:46:54.599 No, they were the same engines used by him. Also 00:46:54.599 --> 00:46:57.539 known as, okay, yeah. Were engines used by Anakin 00:46:57.539 --> 00:47:02.079 Skywalker? I guess it was his custom pod racer. 00:47:02.139 --> 00:47:04.760 Oh my God. He only made one version of this and 00:47:04.760 --> 00:47:09.400 that's it. Are we allowing it? I'll allow it. 00:47:09.420 --> 00:47:11.960 Yeah, I'm willing to allow it. I don't want to 00:47:11.960 --> 00:47:14.840 allow it, but I've been outvoted. I'll allow 00:47:14.840 --> 00:47:16.780 it, but this is going to come up when we're figuring 00:47:16.780 --> 00:47:22.139 out who the team is. I'm saying if I want to 00:47:22.139 --> 00:47:23.199 get someone that's going to fly me to space, 00:47:23.460 --> 00:47:26.099 I feel like I trust him more than most pod racers. 00:47:26.099 --> 00:47:29.760 I will also say, so this is also a thing in my 00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:34.239 glupshido test. I feel like Cobb is like a glup. 00:47:34.519 --> 00:47:37.059 but he's not a shithole. When Timothy Oliphant 00:47:37.059 --> 00:47:39.300 shows up in a TV show, that's just like a guy, 00:47:39.400 --> 00:47:42.960 right? Yeah, like Gattle to me feels like a really 00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:44.940 good club shithole. You want me
to put Hannah 00:47:44.940 --> 00:47:47.619 Blackman on the phone and you tell her that nobody 00:47:47.619 --> 00:47:50.920 loves Cobb Vanth? I'm saying everybody loves 00:47:50.920 --> 00:47:54.340 Cobb Vanth. You're not embarrassed to be excited 00:47:54.340 --> 00:47:57.199 to see Timothy Oliphant in something. I'll take 00:47:57.199 --> 00:47:58.800 him off the board. No, no, he's on the board. 00:47:58.900 --> 00:48:01.460 He's on the board. I'm going bumpy if you want. 00:48:01.880 --> 00:48:03.980 No, no, no. No, no, no. You've made your choice. 00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:09.239 Yeah. I'm merely sharing an example of the Glubshadow 00:48:09.239 --> 00:48:11.380 test in action. I personally picked it because 00:48:11.380 --> 00:48:13.059 I wanted to have some discourse over what is 00:48:13.059 --> 00:48:16.400 a pod racer. You successfully upset me. Congratulations. 00:48:17.079 --> 00:48:20.800 Yeah. Julie, it's time for your number three 00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:24.579 pick. Okay. This one's going to be a bit of just 00:48:24.579 --> 00:48:28.900 like riffing on... what this character could 00:48:28.900 --> 00:48:31.179 be. So I was clicking around for, this is for 00:48:31.179 --> 00:48:34.559 Jedi. Okay. I was clicking around on Jedis and 00:48:34.559 --> 00:48:38.539 I'm like, gosh, so many fucking Jedis. But there 00:48:38.539 --> 00:48:40.840 was like a whole thing for, I don't know how 00:48:40.840 --> 00:48:46.960 to say their name. Eeth Koth. E -E -T -H. K -O 00:48:46.960 --> 00:48:49.880 -T -H. Oh yeah, this guy. Oh yeah, that character 00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:52.739 looks fun. So, but that guy, towards the end 00:48:52.739 --> 00:48:57.039 of his life, he had a daughter. Ooh. This guy's 00:48:57.039 --> 00:48:59.400 team moved Darth Maul. Yeah, is that like the 00:48:59.400 --> 00:49:00.920 same race? No, he's a different race. He's a 00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:04.699 Zabrak male. Okay. Yes. But yeah, so he had a 00:49:04.699 --> 00:49:08.840 daughter that was, I guess, force sensitive. 00:49:09.500 --> 00:49:13.019 And they had to like hide her. But then she was 00:49:13.019 --> 00:49:18.019 found by Darth Vader, I think. But then there 00:49:18.019 --> 00:49:20.400 was this whole thing called like Project Harvester 00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:23.860 that I was looking up. And it was basically... 00:49:24.670 --> 00:49:28.070 uh a galactic empire was trying to capture force 00:49:28.070 --> 00:49:30.989 sensitive folks like kids and turn them into 00:49:30.989 --> 00:49:33.190 imperial agents that were like good at using 00:49:33.190 --> 00:49:35.909 the dark side and i was like boarding schools 00:49:35.909 --> 00:49:41.250 i was like this is so like native boarding school 00:49:41.250 --> 00:49:44.010 like this is actually in the rise and the fall 00:49:44.010 --> 00:49:46.150 of the galactic empire yeah yeah they have like 00:49:46.150 --> 00:49:48.670 native boarding schools in the war of history 00:49:48.670 --> 00:49:51.070 yeah yeah where they're like trying to like basically 00:49:51.070 --> 00:49:54.309 brainwash them tell them that you know the force 00:49:54.309 --> 00:49:56.269 and being a jedi and all that stuff is like bad 00:49:56.269 --> 00:49:57.909 and use them for all this evil and stuff like 00:49:57.909 --> 00:50:00.369 that anyway he had a daughter who i guess was 00:50:00.369 --> 00:50:03.130 like a part of this and it said that she was 00:50:03.130 --> 00:50:07.650 given to vader um And there's not really much 00:50:07.650 --> 00:50:10.809 about that afterwards, just that she was given 00:50:10.809 --> 00:50:13.809 to Vader at some point. And so I would love her 00:50:13.809 --> 00:50:15.929 as, like, just sort of, like, just conjecturing 00:50:15.929 --> 00:50:19.730 that. And I'm thinking about, like, Jack Kirby's 00:50:19.730 --> 00:50:23.369 New Gods, where, like, she's Mr. Miracle and 00:50:23.369 --> 00:50:27.010 is, like, bred with the evil guys, but, like, 00:50:27.010 --> 00:50:29.110 at some point realizes, like, this isn't the 00:50:29.110 --> 00:50:31.730 thing and maybe, like, realizes she has actual 00:50:31.730 --> 00:50:34.969 force powers and not just, like, you know, Darth. 00:50:35.519 --> 00:50:41.139 dark scary sith powers um so i in my head she's 00:50:41.139 --> 00:50:43.519 an adult who is now learning how to be a jedi 00:50:43.519 --> 00:50:47.119 after being raised by the by the evil folks um 00:50:47.119 --> 00:50:49.500 i just want to interject to say if you want to 00:50:49.500 --> 00:50:51.639 learn more about indian boarding schools there's 00:50:51.639 --> 00:50:56.139 a certain little book you should read it's called 00:50:56.139 --> 00:50:57.300 we've been here the whole time and that's a secret 00:50:57.300 --> 00:50:59.360 you got all things native america out october 00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:00.980 6th through energy meal publishing and simon 00:51:00.980 --> 00:51:04.829 schuster Incredible plug. Is there no initialism 00:51:04.829 --> 00:51:07.710 that we should get to that's like the letters 00:51:07.710 --> 00:51:11.289 that spell out, I think? Oh, yeah. Weebitweet. 00:51:12.269 --> 00:51:16.039 Yeah, sure. Why not? That sounds like a great 00:51:16.039 --> 00:51:19.000 place to end the free portion of this Andorx 00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:22.500 Detours. If you want to listen to the rest of 00:51:22.500 --> 00:51:25.940 the episode, head on over to patreon .com slash 00:51:25.940 --> 00:51:28.320 andorxpod, where for just five credits a month, 00:51:28.420 --> 00:51:31.119 you'll get our full bonus episodes, including 00:51:31.119 --> 00:51:35.099 this one and our coverage of the rise and fall 00:51:35.099 --> 00:51:38.500 of the Galactic Empire. And coming up soon, we 00:51:38.500 --> 00:51:41.239 can tease that we're going to be doing a deep 00:51:41.239 --> 00:51:45.500 dive through... tony gilroy's filmography covering 00:51:45.500 --> 00:51:49.860 every movie that he has written uh for our detours 00:51:49.860 -->
00:51:53.280 so or directed or and yeah well he's written 00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:57.619 and directed yes so so head on over patreon .com 00:51:57.619 --> 00:52:01.059 slash and orcs pod uh guys thank you so much 00:52:01.059 --> 00:52:03.639 do you want to plug the book one last time and 00:52:03.639 --> 00:52:05.800 where can people find you oh yeah for sure thanks 00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:07.980 so much for having us this was a truly a delight 00:52:07.980 --> 00:52:11.579 look you're both All three of you are the glup 00:52:11.579 --> 00:52:16.019 shittos of my life. Nobody knows who we are. 00:52:16.719 --> 00:52:18.920 But every time you pop up, I'm like, oh, yeah. 00:52:20.239 --> 00:52:22.360 Yeah, for sure. You can check out Julie and I's 00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:23.800 book. We've been here the whole time. Not So 00:52:23.800 --> 00:52:26.659 Sacred Guide to All Things Native America. It's 00:52:26.659 --> 00:52:30.000 out October 6th at all of your favorite bookstores 00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.039 and online shops. If you're listening to this 00:52:32.039 --> 00:52:33.599 before the book comes out, pre -orders are a 00:52:33.599 --> 00:52:37.019 huge help. They help show the publisher and the 00:52:37.019 --> 00:52:39.179 marketing people that this is a book that they 00:52:39.179 --> 00:52:41.010 should get behind and put resources into marketing. 00:52:41.170 --> 00:52:43.510 So please, please pre -order. The link is in 00:52:43.510 --> 00:52:45.150 that podcast episode description. Yeah, in the 00:52:45.150 --> 00:52:47.349 episode description. Or if you're too lazy to 00:52:47.349 --> 00:52:49.610 read that, just go to joecliff .com slash book 00:52:49.610 --> 00:52:52.440 and that'll have... All the information there. 00:52:52.539 --> 00:52:54.619 And you can find me on Instagram and threads 00:52:54.619 --> 00:52:56.780 at Joey Clift with five or six eyes because a 00:52:56.780 --> 00:52:58.539 12 year old took Joey Clift with one eye and 00:52:58.539 --> 00:53:01.099 I just had to deal. And then all other social 00:53:01.099 --> 00:53:04.360 platforms at Joeytainment. And then if you want 00:53:04.360 --> 00:53:05.860 to see other stuff that I've done, I'm doing 00:53:05.860 --> 00:53:07.579 a ton of dropout stuff nowadays. You can check 00:53:07.579 --> 00:53:10.000 me out on the season of Smarty Pants. And I just 00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:11.679 released a tune out episode that I think is really 00:53:11.679 --> 00:53:16.980 cool. Julie? Yeah. I don't have a fancy website, 00:53:17.239 --> 00:53:22.260 but you can find me. Yes. But you can find me 00:53:22.260 --> 00:53:25.659 on Instagram. Julie Feevish. Julie with J -O 00:53:25.659 --> 00:53:30.900 -O -L -I -E. On Instagram and threads. I never 00:53:30.900 --> 00:53:32.460 check threads, but you can find me on there. 00:53:32.659 --> 00:53:34.699 That is the most cursed social media app. It 00:53:34.699 --> 00:53:36.679 is so cursed. I don't know what to do with it. 00:53:36.820 --> 00:53:40.800 I just, yeah, anyway. Someone sent me a post 00:53:40.800 --> 00:53:43.139 about... Dolly Parton today that she's like in 00:53:43.139 --> 00:53:44.820 the Epstein files it's like no there's like a 00:53:44.820 --> 00:53:46.860 meme in an email where someone sends the email 00:53:46.860 --> 00:53:49.420 about Dolly Parton to somebody else and now they're 00:53:49.420 --> 00:53:51.860 like she's one of them oh my god Jesus Christ 00:53:51.860 --> 00:53:54.469 we're not fucking Out to the ground. Anyway, 00:53:54.510 --> 00:53:59.630 sorry to interrupt. And I'm obviously in the 00:53:59.630 --> 00:54:01.289 book with Joey, but I also had a book that came 00:54:01.289 --> 00:54:02.869 out earlier this year called The Froggy Library. 00:54:03.190 --> 00:54:05.329 It's fantastic. Check it out. Yeah, it came out 00:54:05.329 --> 00:54:07.230 through Levine Queerdro. That is out now, so 00:54:07.230 --> 00:54:09.030 you can find that anywhere. That's a graphic 00:54:09.030 --> 00:54:11.130 novel about being a frog and working at a library 00:54:11.130 --> 00:54:17.079 and having cultural anxiety. So, yeah. For younger 00:54:17.079 --> 00:54:20.019 readers, not teens and adults, but teens and 00:54:20.019 --> 00:54:21.619 adults can enjoy it. I don't listen to it. If 00:54:21.619 --> 00:54:23.300 you're an adult and you're thinking about reading 00:54:23.300 --> 00:54:25.239 it, put it down. Don't even do it. Put it down, 00:54:25.340 --> 00:54:27.599 freak. And if you're an eight -year -old listening 00:54:27.599 --> 00:54:30.699 to this, your parents should probably turn it 00:54:30.699 --> 00:54:32.880 off. But too late, you're at the end of the episode. 00:54:33.079 --> 00:54:36.119 Yeah, yeah. You're also a very cool eight -year 00:54:36.119 --> 00:54:38.619 -old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a book for everybody 00:54:38.619 --> 00:54:39.800 here on Ants today. But I'm sure others have 00:54:39.800 --> 00:54:43.480 no experience with anxiety. So, yeah. We'll have 00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:46.780 a link to Froggy Library as well. in the in the 00:54:46.780 --> 00:54:48.900 show description later dorks bye dorks
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