Full Transcript for Becoming Unstoppable When It Matters Most

are you saying during half time? More often than not, you know, it's coaching. It's everything you do reading up to that. And if done right, you really don't have to say too much other than some little adjustments here and speaker-1: percent. percent. 100%, you know, and I get chills with this, it's a player or an employee is providing a deliverable. Absolutely. You have an output that you're hitting. I was an attackman. I'm responsible for this number of goals a game, but We know when we're being viewed as a deliverable. And when we are, it feels like we are very dismissible, replaceable. a commodity. And I think some of the most powerful moments are, and I tried to communicate to my players is, I love you and I want the best for you. If that is playing lacrosse, awesome. We're gonna rock it. We're gonna win. We're gonna do great things. If that's not... and there's other things you want to do, that's awesome. And I want to support you in that and not just saying it, but truly ⁓ doing that and believing it because there are moments where we have to focus on the output. Absolutely. But I think again, that becomes this beautiful byproduct. If the individual knows that they care and their matter. Yeah. speaker-0: completely agree. I don't think there's anything more powerful to give somebody than value and appreciation. That is like rocket fuel and, shouldn't be used like not genuinely, right? But when used right, or in your case, you genuinely care about them. You want the best for them. And now you're helping them realize like, speaker-1: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. speaker-0: you probably can do more than maybe you realize. You're going to get the best out of those. speaker-1: Absolutely. Right. Yeah. And, know, to not underestimate people want to matter and people do matter, but letting them know that and because coaching, you know, some of what I'm talking about right now, there's an emotional tone, which is warm. ⁓ and it's not always warm if you're in a tie game and someone just screwed up and people are yelling and you know, it's doesn't always have that warm and fuzzy feel. However, you can still, you can go to someone and say, we need you now to go and do this without exception and do it now. But If you trace all that back, it's still coming from, care about you. We, see this team, we need you. You matter here. So that's where I just think if you build a foundation of trust, of care, of a personal human bond with people, then all the things that we go do, whatever those are, they're coming from this foundational place rather than this top down kind of pointing fingers. Yeah. speaker-0: That's a great advice for a lot of us to realize that we can't expect too much ⁓ at the top or to ask if we're not starting with building that foundation. speaker-1: So. speaker-0: Had you, okay, do you miss coaching? I want to go back and do some coaching. speaker-1: now about like. Yeah, I mean, I'm missing it more now that we're talking about it

so much. ⁓ I'm still such a geek with sports. I watch every lacrosse game. I watch tennis. I watch Ninja Warrior. I I love the human element of sports. ⁓ You know, we're recording in March, it's March Madness, and I'm showing my wife, I'm like, you know, these last minutes, like, some of these college athletes are gonna realize their dream, and some of these college athletes' careers are gonna be ending in heartbreak. And, you know, there's just, we as people, you rarely get such high octane concentration of real life emotions in day-to-day life. That's why I love sports. I think, you know, if it's in God's plan for my life, my wife's life later on in life. Yeah, I would love to go. I would love to coach. ⁓ I think I had so much fun doing it, but, know, I, well, I guess it kind of naturally goes to the entertainment piece. I had coached I, ⁓ and thought, you know, is this what I want to do? We won championships and maybe I'll be a coach is my career. But that voice in me of you know, your dream was to get an entertainment. That's why you moved out here That's what you really want. And so I left coaching I made that honest, you know internal decision No, this is what I want to go after I want to go after entertainment and it was one year later that I got hired by NBC for American Ninja Warrior. Yeah speaker-0: That's amazing. So, you know, you get the call, you get hired for American Ninja Warrior. Tell us, I mean, what was that like? To go from what you were doing into that. speaker-1: Yeah. Surreal. I am so grateful NBC, American Ninja Warrior, everyone who put that on absolutely changed my life. And, you know, there's so many stories ⁓ to it wasn't turnkey. I first was doing acting because that's kind of what you at least I grew up in Northeast, like no one did entertainment. So was like, I guess I'll be an actor and I was not good at it. And then a friend was doing hosting. And it was kind of this moment of, I say, you know, it's so important, our community, because they can give you a dream, just like my coaches gave me a dream. And I was like, ⁓ right. Hosting. That's a thing. I just wasn't even like, that's a thing. And I went to this casting director workshop. I'll never forget it. And the wonderful lady there, the casting director, she said, I'll make an introduction to you, to an agent and this in entertainment, that's a gatekeeper. And I went to the agent's office. And he said, I remember this. said, I just don't see it. It's really hard out there. I just don't, I just don't think it's going to work out. And I was crushed, crushed. And I'm in the elevator and I go down to the parking lot and I'm in my car and I'm heartbroken. And I'm like, ⁓ you know what? He just doesn't see it yet. So let's show them. And I went around and I hired a videographer and we I just went around Los Angeles and I just filmed all these TV shows, fake shows as if I was hosting them and I put it all together and I gave it to him and he's like, ⁓ okay. And he started putting me out for auditions and I got an FX series and he pitched me and then I got hired by NBC with American Ninja Warrior. And so I share with people, people don't see it until they see it. And if you have people who see potential within you, that's a gift. But even if people don't, that doesn't mean it's not there. We just have to act on it. speaker-0: Yeah, I love it. shared one, you know, going through that, having somebody tell you that for something that, hey, you moved out there, you have a dream. But you also touched on, there was a lot that led up to that. You didn't just all of sudden, hey, I'm on this TV show. There was a lot of work that people probably don't understand behind the scenes. Care to talk a little bit about like how much. What are we talking about? many classes are studying? you do? speaker-1: Well, it's funny, you know, it's I'm going to butcher this quote, but a fish will always be called an idiot when asked to climb a tree. And it sounds silly. But I think about that quote often because if you are placed in the wrong path or the wrong position, it's always going to be tough and it's never going to work out for you. But I think about if you put a racehorse If you put a racehorse pretty much anywhere except for on a track, then the racehorse is a racehorse and it's a stud. But if you put it anywhere else, it's kind of dangerous or a hazard or not good. So we got to make sure that we're on the right track. And I say that because acting, I did some things and I was okay, but it wasn't me. I wasn't good at it. But then hosting, it was kind of like, ⁓ I'm like a racehorse on a track. I'm good at this. I like this. It actually brought up When I was coaching, I'd have to be like, all right, guys, here's what we're doing today. And then I'm hosting a game show and I'm like, Hey everybody, here's what we're doing today. You know, it was kind of called on my past chapters, you know? And, ⁓ yeah. So I did do some classes and some different things. I'm probably, I'm not the biggest person on classes and credentials and certificates. I'm a. Do you care about this kind of guy? Are you busting your butt about this kind of guy? And if you are, we're gonna see it. And I just, get worked up with this. I say in my book and I, there's no such thing as experts and I don't care. where people went to college. I don't care the fancy logo on the certificate. You know, I share, there was plenty of doctors with really beautiful logos from impressive places that missed my mom's cancer. So there's no such thing as experts. There are people who give a dang and they show up every day and they bust their butt and they care about everyone they touch. And then there's people who don't. ⁓ and so when it, know, bringing it all the way back, the hosting, just, I really loved it. And I had a meeting with the NBC and American Ninja Warrior team and they're just awesome people. And they welcomed me in to host this new series with American Ninja

Warrior. And it was literally getting pulled up from. Like I'd done things in, you know, like minor league D league, and then you're like pulled up to the Yankees. And it was like, I would just kind of tell myself, just like, just play it cool. Just play it cool. Cause like you get onto the lot and you know, I'm like, ⁓ like I have a badge and like I'm going onto the NBC lot and you're, walking in and then you get there and you're like, everything's just big and there's lights and you're seeing people that you recognize from the show. And, ⁓ Yeah, there was just so many growth moments of you're in it. So, you know, show up and do it. You know, you're in it. ⁓ But hosting it for so many reasons was transformative and then competing. Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. So what was it, ⁓ what was it like when they told you, Hey, we actually want to see you Duke some of this all the way into not just try it, competing it. speaker-1: It was it originally and it's a creative world, right? So ideas are evolving and it originally started out as this kind of like funny joke that I would try the obstacles. I'd fail whether I was trying or not. I would fail. you know, it'd be kind of like a goofy joke because everything is so difficult. And we did that. But as it kind of progressed and the show got a little bit more. Intense not not serious, but more elevated the fail joke it out it outgrew And so then it became, you know, Hey, if you're going to be talking about these obstacles and showing them off, makes a whole lot more sense for the host to actually know about this sport. You watch any other thing, you got Tom Brady hosting for the NFL. Tom Brady was pretty good at football, you know? So the only thing was Tom Brady had played football, then hosted. was hosting and then had to do this sport. And, you know, there's so many lessons there. One of them was. I'd played division one athletics, but I had to start again as a beginner. played D1 lacrosse. was an all-American. won us lacrosse coach of the year. I was at a mountain top in this one sport. And then I had to go over here and start back down at base camp as a beginner. And there was a lot of emotional pain and physical pain because the sport is intense, but I would get so embarrassed. And I wanted the competitors. remember my first times going to the gym. would obsess over what the competitors might be thinking about me because I wanted them to see me as an athlete. ⁓ but it was ultimately without the community support. And I say often your next level isn't alone. It just isn't. Wherever you're trying to get to, we need other people supporting and challenging us. And it was because of the competitors inviting me to train. Even when we'd train, they'd say, hey, get up there. It's your time. Get up there again. Well, you fell again. Get up there again. Without that, I just, wouldn't have kept going. I wouldn't have. So, ⁓ yeah, so grateful to be asked to do it by the show. to be invited to do it and then the community to support me in it. Yeah. speaker-0: Were there times when you're trying to use one and like, I can't do this. This is too much. mean, those obstacles are insane. And there's gymnasts that you watch compete and sports that definitely relate a little bit more to it. And you watch them not get very far. So I just, what was that? Like. speaker-1: Well, there's so many levels of. I it sounds silly, but aside from maybe hanging on a pull up bar, I never really ever had my feet off the ground in any sport I've ever done ever. And so some of it was mentally. Getting used to this foreign thing that was asked of you, so just getting used to like grabbing on things and flying around and what that's like, and it's funny. I would, ⁓ you'd film your training so you could watch it back and, know, I'm sure post on social media and all that stuff, but you'd film going through the obstacles. And there was a really interesting thing that I saw happening where. When I started doing the sport, I would fail. I'd fail. I'd fail. I'd fail. I'd fail. But after weeks of just showing up. You know, I'd meet up with the athletes three times a week, go to the Ninja Warrior gyms and do it. Fast forward three, four, five weeks, I'd film it. And I physically was starting to get it. But, and other athletes pointed this out in film and they're like, you're dropping here. but you now have the strength and ability to get there. And what it meant was my mind had gotten so used to failing at a certain point, quitting, ending, that I had to retrain my mind that no, no, no, no, we're different now. We actually are stronger now. We actually have more abilities. We don't suck right now. So you need to now be open to that you're actually better than where our mind is holding us back to. So, I mean, there's just so many lessons with it. I think one of the biggest that I still take to heart today, and I get so fired up with it in our AI culture and hacks, just show up and do it. Just show up and do it. If it's gritty, if it's imperfect, if it's messy, that's fine. There is no substitute for compounding effort. And I am such a believer in the people who show up and just do that. I think in these next years, we're going to see this, this chasm, this big gap between people who are still trying to figure it out and people who are trying to look for every easy hack in life. speaker-0: Yeah. is. Great advice. And unfortunately, AI, amongst other things, know, just make it easier. But you touched on it multiple times that people put kind of their own ceiling. Yeah. comfort ceiling above themselves. Yeah. We go, I can't do this. You know, I'm not cut out to do this. ⁓ speaker-1: 100%. speaker-0: And you talked a lot about the support of others. there anyone that sticks out to you that's kind of got you like that was the person, you know, or these people had got me to maybe realize I could do more push me past where, you know, I thought I could go. speaker-1: That is so good. mean, my

mind and like, what a blessing. My mind is flooding with how many of the American Ninja Warriors supported. ⁓ You know, a few that I just feel called to like call out. ⁓ One ⁓ is Jesse Graff, who is... arguably the most iconic ninja warrior and also very kind and very open and as I was trying to get good invited me to go and train at different gyms and taught me and she has a gym in her home and so invited me to that ⁓ West Sylvester who he was just so ⁓ Consistent He would reach out to me hey buddy, we're training you're there Hey, just wanted you to know we're training. You're there, you're coming. And not even just that, but on the day when I was there, like Alex, you're up next. You're up next. Nope, you're not thirsty. Don't go to that water fountain. You're up next. ⁓ just that, that's where I really, that accountability, you know, you'll hear sometime accountability is love. And it really is people who want and even demand the best of you. If it's coming again, we talked about coaching and leading, if it's coming from that foundational care, ⁓ it's so good because it gets us out of our own way. Two others that I'll just cite, ⁓ Flip Rodriguez. So this is, I call them credible encouragers, but basically what it means is when someone you admire, speaks life into you or belief because it's one thing, know, and, listen, mom, you're probably watching this because you're so supportive. If your mom believes in you, that's amazing, but it's also your mom and she's always going to believe in you and thank you for that. don't take it for granted. But if there's someone that you admire doing this, you know, and speaking, it's when speakers I admire will say kind things or an author, or I was training as a goofy host, but I was really training. and flip Rodriguez, who's top badass. He's a badass American Ninja Warrior said you could do this. You could compete. I remember that because it was this paradigm shift for me. I was like, you, you really do this and you nail it and you think I could do this. And I like, I don't like sit with that for a minute. So that was another one where, ⁓ It's just so powerful when someone that you admire ⁓ can speak life into you. And so often leaders and these people in these positions of authority can do that. speaker-0: Yeah, that's probably maybe one of the greatest gifts or impact somebody can do. And it's so, when you think about it, it's really simple. Yeah, absolutely. take much, other than being intentional. speaker-1: 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right. And it's you nailed it with being intentional and the, enemy of intentionality is busy-ness, right? And it's, I think. I don't think it would be for a lack of desire that a leader wouldn't speak life or belief into someone. I think it would be out of a lack of time and not having that space to hone in on someone and do it. But as we're saying, it's like everything that we're focusing on comes from that. Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. You go back to, uh, you know, whatever you're hoping or wanting to accomplish. If it starts with the accountability, it's my favorite one, uh, with, you know, with love is, is right. Because, um, you know, I compare lots of them. I'll talk to leaders I work with and I'll compare it to parenting and I'll say, man, my kids, I have to tell them things they need to hear. They don't want to hear. speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. speaker-0: You know, lots of times I don't even want to say it to be honest. Sure. I like, I don't want to have to come down on you right now. I don't want to have to tell you what I'm going to have to tell you, but you need to hear it. Yeah. And I say it because I love them and no matter, you know, they could do some really awful. Yeah. The easy, ⁓ the easy thing would be like, I'm going to shit my kid off. Sure. We never do that. Right. You're going to go, no, I'm going to work with them. I'm going to figure this out. Look at this behavior, translate that into work though. That employee isn't really doing what they want to do. I'm just gonna let him go. Yeah. Or I'm gonna do this step. It's just easier to do that. But if you cared about him, really cared about him, then that's not the right step is it? You'd say the hard things. You would make sure they know you care about it. But then also say, got big set behavior. speaker-1: Yes, yes. And you nailed it. The fix, the behavior and. There has to be a matching effort, right? And there has to be a you have to step into this, you know, and I had those conversations when I was a coach with, you know, I call them a here's the deal talk, you know, here's the deal. Like I'm here for you. We're going to, know, we'll do all the stuff that you and I talked about. We're going to coach you up. We're going to care about you. We're going to give you the opportunities, all that. But. We also need this from you and that's your choice and I'm such a free will guy You know, that's your choice and I think giving people employees or people that were working with that choice ⁓ Because there's ownership and it makes it fights off victim or entitled it lets us know, you know, okay this person needs to Meet us here. And if they do we're gonna walk with them and encourage them but ⁓ Yeah, because apathy is definitely rampant kind of just in our society. I think there's so many. We get pinged and dinged with so many things that are negative or concerning every single day. And so just connecting with our team members on that level of, hey, that is there. But this track that we're on is something good together, I think is just so powerful. speaker-0: Completely agree with that. There's one thing I want to, you brought up as you're talking through all the people important to you. want to, before we kind of wrap things up, I know you mentioned your mom, right? No matter what is going to support you. Watch in and always say you can do anything. You know, you put your mind to it. With that, I know your mom's played an even more important route

and the person you are today. And do you want to maybe just share a little bit of like that support for mom and how, know, she's really guided you to where you are. speaker-1: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, there's a specific journey which I'll share on that has happened with my mom. But really both my parents in different ways, both so supportive, truly, they show it in different ways, but so supportive. You know, maybe I think maybe it's just the mom feminine is maybe a little more warm and fuzzy, but my dad always such a strong believer and so much support. Like I can't think of a hockey or lacrosse game, let alone practice that he wouldn't want to be at and there and supporting, you know? And I think, I think one of the greatest lessons that I've gotten from both, like the Venn diagram of my mom and my dad is Just give it everything you have. Like anything you're going to do, do it with all of your heart, do it with all of your ability. You know, and, and both of them in such different ways, anything that they've ever done from work to making a meal, to going on a vacation with loved ones, to a workout is just with every fiber of their being. I'm, very grateful to, to have that lesson and something dear to me. ⁓ and you know, my mom, Such a supporter, of course, of anything I'm up to. And a few years ago, I'd had this idea of ⁓ she loves walks. So us going on ⁓ the best hikes in America. was this fun idea. But right before we were about to go, she got diagnosed with stage four cancer. And so instead of going on the hiking trip, the next years were treatment beds and doctors offices and. something that I learned through that. And then I also saw it and I share with audiences because it's why pro sports teams win after tragedies. It's why companies who serve people rally and reach these amazing levels. It's when other people need your best, that's when you become your best. And so being there to support my mom and what she was going through, she also supported me and American Ninja Warrior. And it culminated with her getting to be the guest of honor for one of my American Ninja Warrior runs. And then two years after her diagnosis, because she had just been so committed with her treatments, we were able to go on the hike that we first wanted to do. and she, Seeing her determination, we went to this hike in Maine. It's called the Bee Hey Bee Hive and there's some sketchy parts. You got to like come up some railings. There's like a rock cliff. We got to it. I'm like, Mom, this is this is like a real deal. This isn't like a G rated like this is a this is a real deal hike. And I tried to like backpedal us of why don't we go on Bunny Mountain over here? Like we don't have to do this. And I saw it in her that I need to do it. And it was so moving and so beautiful seeing her like jackrabbit up this thing and get to the top. yeah. speaker-0: That's absolutely incredible. Thanks man. How lucky are you to save the beast? Um, I feel bad because we're going to have to wrap this up. Really don't want to. Um, but as you were talking about that, I want to tie one little piece as we kind of tie a bow on this. You've done so much already and that you're so young. What, if you're going to look at and come back and say, Hey, this is what I want. speaker-1: Thanks, brother. Yeah. speaker-0: people to say my story is my bio is 10 years from now. What would you say? Wouldn't you want that? speaker-1: I'll say to truly, truly admit to themselves what they really want, honor it and become it. And as someone who's quit on my life, think I quit on myself a few times in my life. I have a very strong. passion and purpose for people never to quit on themselves and Anything that is important to them anyone who's important to them any goal that's important to them? To fully fully give everything they have to it and that they can do it speaker-0: I love that. That's a great message. Chloe's out on. So one, thank you to Say The Least for being guests on here. ⁓ And for those of you listening, I'm going to drop a link for Oxxus website, along with his profile page and his LinkedIn as well. Definitely go check them all out along with, I'll put a link for his book as well. So you go check out failed proof. So thanks Alex. speaker-1: Thank you, brother. This was great. speaker-0: Absolutely.