TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Well, it is Sunday. You see, Andy, we is on
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the radio now every Sunday on CBS for Rinseau. That's right. Rinseau.
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New Rinseau with Solium. The scientific sunlight ingredient brings you
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the Amos and Andy Show. Yes, sir, Lever Brothers Company,
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the makers of Rinseau, brings you a full half hour
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of entertainment with Lou Lobin, Eddie Green, Ernestine Wade, the Jubilaires,
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Jeff Alexander's orchestra and chorus, and radio's all-time.
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Favorites, Amos and Andy. Thank you. It's 11 p.m.
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In the Stevens household. Kingfish's wife, Sapphire, is about to retire.
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But the Kingfish is still sitting in his easy chair
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in the living room, reading his favorite mystery magazine.
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Then, as the moon disappeared behind the cloud, the curtain ported,
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and the horrible monster stuck its inhuman face into the
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room and said, George! Oh, Sapphire!
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I was reading a mystery story.
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Don't come in here to room with your mud pack
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on and do that to me. Didn't swallow my cigar
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butt yet.
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What's the matter?
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So you're eating that mystery trash again.
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Well, what's wrong with it? It's better than that mushy
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love magazine you read.
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All the time.
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Well, I'll tell you one thing, George Stevens. I done
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got more romance out of a six-month subscription to that
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magazine than I done got from you in 20 years.
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Well, you're always shooting your mouth off about something. Don't
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worry about me. And say, by the way, remind me
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to set the alarm clock for 730 in the morning.
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I got an important job to do tomorrow morning. Well,
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that's wonderful, George.
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What is it?
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I got to go down to.
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The basement and rig up our electric wires so they
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don't go through the meter. I'm going.
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George, why don't you stop doing things like that? All
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your life, you've just been trying to cheat and swindle people.
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Yeah, well, honey, when you were in the business and
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you was a.
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Businessman like I was, you got to cut a few
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corners now and then.
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That ain't so. Look at my father.
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He was an honored and respected businessman for 22 years.
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And all that time, not one of his customers ever complained.
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Well, of course not.
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When you was an undertaker, your customers ain't no position
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to complain about.
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Well, George, I can see it's useless for me to
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talk to you. But someday all this cheating and conniving
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is going to catch up with you, and you're going
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to have.
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To answer to your conscience.
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Oh, go to bed, Sapphire. And don't worry about my conscience.
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I got to understand it with my conscience. I don't
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bother it, and it don't bother me.
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That's the way it is.
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Well, I don't care what you do. I am going
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to bed. Good night.
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Sapphire always picking on me about something. Now she's picking
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on me about my conscience. There's one fellow whose conscience
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ain't never going to bother me. George. George Stevens, you're wrong.
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Who that? Why, George, I'm your conscience. My conscience? What
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is you doing here? George, it's time we had a
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little talk.
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You're a chiseler.
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You're a conniver. You're a schemer.
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Who, me?
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Yes, that's why you can't sleep. And if you don't
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change your ways, I'm going to bother you.
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From now on.
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Yeah, well, listen, I'll change. I promise you I will.
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You'd better.
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Now, remember, George, you can't fool your conscience.
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Oh, yes, I know you can't fool your conscience.
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Well, I'll change.
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All right, George. Good night. Good night. Oh, me, I
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really going to turn over a new leaf. Good night.
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Yeah, well, that's the story, Henry.
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I
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decided to make a big change in my life.
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I threw spending my days cheating people.
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Oh, you're going to start cheating them at night now, huh?
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No, no, Henry, I was on the level. I was reformed.
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You see, there's another voice down inside of me that's
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pointing out the right way.
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Oh, yes, yes, I've heard of that. It's what the
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psychiatrist refers to as the alter igloo.
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Yeah, that's right. Well, I don't need to lose myself
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right into being a new man.
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I know that.
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Well, it's very hard to believe all this, Kingfish.
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Well, all right. I'll show you.
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Now, look here.
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You see these two shares of stock that I found
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in my desk drawer? Mm-hmm. Look here. Read on there.
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The East Alaska Canary stock.
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Yeah.
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Now, I bought this stuff three years ago, and the
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outfit done folded up.
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It ain't no good. Now, what would the old Kingfish
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have done with this stock?
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Well, the answer to that is oblivious. You would have
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sold it to somebody like Andy.
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Yeah, that's right.
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Yeah, but I was a changed man. Now, look here
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what I'm going to do with it. I am going
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to toss it right in the trash basket.
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Well, well, you certainly sound sincere, Kingfish. Congratulations on turning.
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Over a new leaf.
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Yeah, well, I got to run along now.
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Well, I got to go myself. I tell you, I've
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got an appointment at my custom tailor's.
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Oh, is that so?
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Yes, yes. You know, I just can't wear machine-made clothes
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no more.
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Oh, you're getting a new suit, Henry?
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No, no, no. He's hand-stitching the patch on the seat
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of my pants.
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Oh, yeah.
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Oh, come in, Brother Ender.
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Hiya, Kingfish, hiya.
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Say, I come over here to ask you advice on
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a finance matter.
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Yeah, well, I'll tell you, Ender, I just turned over
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a new leaf. Wait a minute, wait a minute, Kingfish.
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I've been reading the financial pages in the paper, and
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the fellas all say that now is the time to
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buy common stocks.
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Yeah, I guess it is, Ender, but you see.
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Tell me this, Kingfish, you know any good stocks I
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could buy? I just want to buy a few shares,
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but I'll pay cash.
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Want to buy a few shares, we'll pay cash.
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Yeah. Mm-hmm, yeah. Andy, excuse me while I step into
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this clothes closet a minute, will you?
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Why is you going in that dark clothes closet all
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by yourself?
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Hey, Conscience. Conscience, where is you? Can you hear me? Listen, Conscience,
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something just come up.
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Yeah, listen, Conscience.
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There's a fella out here that's really asking for it. Now, listen,
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if you don't answer me now, I'm going to do it.
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Come on, can't you say something, will you?
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Say it. Well, no news is good news. Here I go.
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Oh, now, Brother Andy, you were saying something about stock. Yeah,
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you know where I can buy some good commerce stock.
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Yeah, well, Andy, it so.
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Happens that I own two shares of Guilty Edge Blue
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Chip Stock myself. No fooling. Where you got it at?
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Well, now, let me see here.
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Now, I wonder if that's in my vault down at
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the bank, or did I give that to my broker
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for safekeeping?
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Upset, is it? Here it is in the trash basket, Charlie.
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Here it is.
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What is the thing, Kingfish? Well, it's the finest stock
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in the market today, Andy. It's called the East Alaska Canary. Boy,
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this is going to be their biggest year, Andy. It is, huh?
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How come? Well, because of the quantity of fishes they
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got up there. Never anything like it in history. And
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you go up there, you stand on the banks of
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the Yukon, oh, what a sight. There's fish as far
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as the nose can smell.
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I'm going to tell you, it's the greatest salmon run
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in history.
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Yeah, well, how come they got so many salmon this
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year all.
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Of a sudden?
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Well, good reason for it, Andy.
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This year, the Alaskan government legalized spawning.
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There are so many salmon there.
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Well, some of them swims around for days just looking
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for a factory that ain't too busy to can them.
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Well, that sounds good, Kingfish.
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I only got $ 150 to spend.
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How much is the stock?
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You got $ 150. Andy, it so happens that the shares
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are $ 75 a share.
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I got two shares. Now, I ain't much on arithmetic.
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You know, I'm sort of a dumb fellow.
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Well, wait a minute. Now, that's a coincidence, Andy. It
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comes out to even $ 150.
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Yeah, okay, Kingfish. I'll go down to the bank right
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now and get the money.
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Yeah, I'll go with you, Andy.
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Well, now, Kingfish, listen, just one thing. Is you sure
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that these stocks is all right?
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Oh, Andy, look here, to show you.
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How honest I am now, this time I will personally
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guarantee your investment. Oh, then it's safe.
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Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
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You will make a quick profit on this thing, too. Oh, yeah,
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that sounds great, Kingfish. Now, you know, this might be
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the beginning of a whole new career for you, Andy.
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You might end up as head of the whole fish industry.
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Just think, the head.
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Oh, yeah, that'll be a thrill, all right.
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When I walks down the street, I hear people saying,
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there goes Andy Brown, the big fish head. Ain't it
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a shame to do wrong on Sunday?
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Even on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday Friday and Saturday
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all day long Ain't.
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It a shame about that sinner?
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Ain't it a shame about his ways?
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Ain't it a shame about that sinner?
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He never gets on his knees to.
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Pray Pity, shame and sorrow Pity, shame and war Pity Lordy, lordy,
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ain't it a pity about his soul On Monday, Monday
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you'll find him a-rambling Tuesday, Tuesday his heart is vain Wednesday,
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Wednesday he's drinking and gambling.
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Lordy, lordy, ain't it a shame On Thursday, Thursday he's
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talking to his neighbor Friday, Friday he's losing ground Saturday
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He's lost God's favorite son.
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Shame, shame, shame about that sinner. He should mend his
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wicked ways.
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He ought to bow it down.
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Until his knees smite the ground.
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Then he'd feel the fire burning every time he went
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to pray.
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Then on Monday, Monday he'd be through doubting. Tuesday, Tuesday,
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glory be. Wednesday, Wednesday you'd find him shouting.
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Hallelujah, my soul is free.
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On Thursday, his heart's on fire. Friday, he's on his way.
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He's a pilgrim traveler, Sunday morning his soul is saved.
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And Monday, Tuesday, all day Wednesday, he'd try on his
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gospel shoes.
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Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, he'd run around and spread the news.
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Shame, shame, shame about you sinning.
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On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all
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day long.
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Well, it looks like the kingfish is up to his
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old tricks again. Friends, this is John Lake. You know,
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while I've had a lot to say about wonderful new
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Rinso with Solium, there are a few words that sum
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it all up. Rinso with Solium puts sunshine in your wash.
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And what that means is this. You can do a
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Rinso wash and then dry it indoors or outdoors just
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as you please. No matter where it's dried, your Rinso
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wash will turn out more brilliant than anything you ever
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saw before Solium was discovered. Your white clothes will be
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not just whiter, but actually whiter than new. And your
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gay washable colors will turn out not just brighter, but
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brighter than brand new. Well, that's what I mean when
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I say New Rinse-O puts sunshine in your wash. New
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Rinse-O is safe for clothes and so kind to your hands.
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Rinse-O is the only soap that contains the new scientific
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sunlight ingredient, Solium. And now, back to Amos and Andy.
247
00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.360
Well, shorty to barber, come on in. You look worried.
248
00:11:56.379 --> 00:11:58.279
What's the matter? Take care of this.
249
00:11:58.299 --> 00:12:00.460
Don't you think I ought to do my job here?
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00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:03.539
Do you think the barber business will ever... In your opinion,
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do you think I should... How can you.
252
00:12:06.629 --> 00:12:10.399
Well, speak up, speak up.
253
00:12:10.620 --> 00:12:12.460
Well, shorty, I don't know what you're talking about. Well,
254
00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:14.039
then why did you bring up this subject?
255
00:12:14.059 --> 00:12:16.120
Let's drop it, then.
256
00:12:16.500 --> 00:12:19.210
Say, Kingfish, I just seen Andy, and he says something
257
00:12:19.250 --> 00:12:22.049
about you selling him a couple of shares of Canary stock.
258
00:12:22.110 --> 00:12:24.590
Oh, yeah, well, uh, confidential under your hat, shorty. The
259
00:12:24.610 --> 00:12:26.929
stock wasn't really no good. Oh. And I had a
260
00:12:26.970 --> 00:12:28.960
big battle with my conscience before I took his money,
261
00:12:28.980 --> 00:12:29.279
you see.
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00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:32.460
Well, he was going down to the broker's office. He
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00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:33.779
said that you told him he was going to make
264
00:12:33.799 --> 00:12:36.240
a quick profit on it. He was going down there
265
00:12:36.299 --> 00:12:37.490
now to see what it's worth.
266
00:12:38.129 --> 00:12:38.809
Holy smokes.
267
00:12:39.370 --> 00:12:41.409
If he goes down there, he'll find out that Kendra
268
00:12:41.429 --> 00:12:42.950
ain't been in business for the past two years.
269
00:12:43.789 --> 00:12:45.769
He's going to be hollering for his money back. You see,
270
00:12:45.830 --> 00:12:47.889
I give him my personal guarantee that the stock was good.
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00:12:48.909 --> 00:12:51.509
Look here, if you go down and something happens to
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00:12:51.529 --> 00:12:54.129
the cannery that was out of your control, you might
273
00:12:54.169 --> 00:12:57.600
get out of it. After all, under the law, nobody
274
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is responsible for acts of nature like hurricanes, earthquakes, and
275
00:13:02.279 --> 00:13:04.779
catastrophes
like that, you know.
276
00:13:08.559 --> 00:13:09.500
Yeah, well, now, that.
277
00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:12.120
Was a good idea. But to be on the safe side,
278
00:13:12.620 --> 00:13:14.019
I'll throw in a couple acts of nature.
279
00:13:14.039 --> 00:13:16.470
That's what I do. Oh, yeah. I'll think of some
280
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real catastrophes.
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00:13:17.769 --> 00:13:20.269
You know, Shorty, Shorty, you, you is really a lot
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00:13:20.289 --> 00:13:21.169
smarter than you look.
283
00:13:21.570 --> 00:13:22.519
Oh, yeah.
284
00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:29.659
You know, Kingsley, speaking of catastrophes, my father, he never
285
00:13:29.700 --> 00:13:32.460
gets tired of telling me of the great catastrophes he
286
00:13:32.539 --> 00:13:36.860
experienced Saturday on October the 7th, 1906.
287
00:13:36.860 --> 00:13:38.720
Oh, is that right? What happened then, Shorty?
288
00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:42.120
Oh, it was the worst. It was a big earthquake.
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00:13:42.500 --> 00:13:43.379
You can't... How can you.
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00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:44.080
I was born.
291
00:13:44.100 --> 00:13:44.480
Thank you.
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Oh, hello there, brother. Andy, come in.
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00:14:02.009 --> 00:14:03.289
Hello, Kingfish. Hiya.
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00:14:03.570 --> 00:14:05.480
Say, I was just going down to the broker's office
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00:14:05.500 --> 00:14:06.820
to see what my stock is worth.
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00:14:06.940 --> 00:14:09.039
Well, Andy, before you do that, I got something right
297
00:14:09.059 --> 00:14:10.899
here that might interest you. I just got a telegram
298
00:14:10.940 --> 00:14:14.720
here addressed to all stockholders in the East Alaskan Cannery Corporation.
299
00:14:15.259 --> 00:14:16.840
I'm afraid it's bad news, my boy.
300
00:14:17.399 --> 00:14:17.860
Oh, me.
301
00:14:18.360 --> 00:14:20.299
What did the telegram say to us fellows that owns
302
00:14:20.350 --> 00:14:21.110
the stock, Kingfish?
303
00:14:21.330 --> 00:14:22.970
Well, I'll read it to you. It starts out here.
304
00:14:22.990 --> 00:14:32.549
Dear Bagholder... I think that's you, Andy.
305
00:14:32.590 --> 00:14:35.889
Say, here, we take pleasure in informing you that your company,
306
00:14:35.909 --> 00:14:38.309
the East Alaska Canberra, is now extinct.
307
00:14:38.610 --> 00:14:41.049
Holy mackerel, Kingfish. When did the thing extunk?
308
00:14:44.149 --> 00:14:45.470
Well, it happened just yesterday, Andy.
309
00:14:45.830 --> 00:14:47.850
Yeah. Well, I'm sure glad.
310
00:14:47.690 --> 00:14:51.230
My money's safe, because you remember you personally guaranteed my investment.
311
00:14:51.370 --> 00:14:54.129
Yeah, that's right, Andy. I did, and that's what breaks
312
00:14:54.169 --> 00:14:57.059
my general's heart. You see, in this case, the one
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00:14:57.120 --> 00:14:59.779
thing that nobody can be held legally responsible for is
314
00:14:59.820 --> 00:15:02.970
what has done happened. The calamity that wiped out the
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00:15:02.990 --> 00:15:05.490
cannery was an unavoidable act of nature.
316
00:15:05.870 --> 00:15:08.350
Well, tell me, Kingfish, what has nature done done?
317
00:15:09.269 --> 00:15:11.509
Well, and the sweet mother nature who makes the little
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00:15:11.549 --> 00:15:15.220
flowers bud, the mother nature who makes the babbling brooks babble,
319
00:15:15.639 --> 00:15:18.740
and the soft breezes blow, has done turned around.
320
00:15:18.539 --> 00:15:19.539
And kicked you right in the teeth.
321
00:15:21.309 --> 00:15:24.200
Well, what happened up there, anyhow? Well, Andy, it's an
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00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:26.340
accepted fact that the one thing you need to run
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00:15:26.379 --> 00:15:30.080
a successful fish cannery is fish. Yeah, I'll go along
324
00:15:30.100 --> 00:15:32.659
with you there, all right. Yeah, well, after all, Andy,
325
00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:34.440
you can't can nothing in the cannery if you can't
326
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:35.539
find nothing to can, can you?
327
00:15:36.899 --> 00:15:38.899
No, I agree with all that mess, but what happened
328
00:15:38.919 --> 00:15:41.590
to the fish? Yeah, well, I... You told me there
329
00:15:41.629 --> 00:15:43.289
was a zillion salmon in the waters up there.
330
00:15:43.309 --> 00:15:46.309
Well, Andy, that is where we run into our first
331
00:15:46.470 --> 00:15:48.990
act of nature. The whale's Edema.
332
00:15:49.250 --> 00:15:49.669
The whale.
333
00:15:49.870 --> 00:15:50.389
The whale.
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00:15:51.269 --> 00:15:53.710
Yeah, I tell you, Ender, they swam through the strays
335
00:15:53.750 --> 00:15:54.870
of my gelatin and.
336
00:15:54.830 --> 00:15:56.389
Then went through them salmon.
337
00:15:56.710 --> 00:15:59.029
They cut out and went through them salmon like a school.
338
00:15:58.809 --> 00:15:59.549
Of vacuum cleaners.
339
00:16:00.789 --> 00:16:03.200
All them whales was guzzling the salmon into their mouth
340
00:16:03.259 --> 00:16:05.019
and spouting the bones out through the top of their heads.
341
00:16:05.899 --> 00:16:08.740
Oh, wait a minute here, Kingfish.
342
00:16:08.820 --> 00:16:09.860
Wait a minute.
343
00:16:09.899 --> 00:16:12.899
What are you talking about? Listen, they couldn't eat up
344
00:16:12.980 --> 00:16:15.000
all them salmon up there. It'd be impossible for them
345
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:15.860
whales to eat up all them.
346
00:16:15.879 --> 00:16:16.830
Yeah, well, you're right, Ender.
347
00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:19.629
And right there's where Mother Nature kicked up her heels again.
348
00:16:20.309 --> 00:16:21.870
The dreaded Alaskan drought.
349
00:16:22.490 --> 00:16:24.850
Drought? Yeah, you see, it dried up all the water
350
00:16:24.870 --> 00:16:26.509
in the river, and, oh, I tell you, it was
351
00:16:26.580 --> 00:16:29.720
a pitiful sight to see the few remaining salmon crawling
352
00:16:29.779 --> 00:16:32.639
up that dry riverbed to spawn. Yeah, that must have
353
00:16:32.659 --> 00:16:33.919
been a sad mess, all right.
354
00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:37.279
Oh, of course. It ain't worth mentioning, but right after that,
355
00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:40.340
Mother Nature tossed in a 175-foot tidal wave, too, you know.
356
00:16:40.419 --> 00:16:42.370
No fooling. That done a lot of damage, too, huh?
357
00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:44.659
Oh, yeah, really wreaked havoc in that little town.
358
00:16:45.019 --> 00:16:46.480
Wreaked up one side of the street and wreaked down
359
00:16:46.500 --> 00:16:46.960
the other, ain't it?
360
00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:50.399
The Eskimo said it was the biggest hunk of reeking
361
00:16:50.419 --> 00:16:53.919
they ever seen. Now, you see, Andrew, after giving you
362
00:16:53.960 --> 00:16:56.460
now the complete picture of the catastrophe, you realize why
363
00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:58.039
I ain't responsible for you losing your money.
364
00:16:58.179 --> 00:17:00.730
Yeah, but look, Kingfish, I want.
365
00:17:00.769 --> 00:17:02.169
Now, wait a minute. Wait just a minute.
366
00:17:02.570 --> 00:17:03.190
I ain't declare.
367
00:17:03.490 --> 00:17:05.910
That was a perfectly illegitimate deal that I made with you.
368
00:17:06.750 --> 00:17:08.529
My conscience is clear, Andrew, I tell you.
369
00:17:08.730 --> 00:17:11.240
Yeah, well, that's all right. I didn't know about them
370
00:17:11.339 --> 00:17:14.160
catastrophes that happened up there. I'm sorry I brung it up.
371
00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:16.200
All right, well, I'll forgive you this time for what
372
00:17:16.220 --> 00:17:17.980
you done said, but I don't want you to go
373
00:17:18.019 --> 00:17:19.440
out there, and I just don't count it as a deal.
374
00:17:19.460 --> 00:17:31.670
Cast no excursions on my character. Say, Andy, what is
375
00:17:31.690 --> 00:17:34.180
you looking so sad about, son? Oh, I done made
376
00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:36.980
a bad investment in the stock, Amos. I done lost $ 150. Oh,
377
00:17:37.180 --> 00:17:39.160
that's too bad, Andy.
378
00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:40.220
What stock did you buy?
379
00:17:40.380 --> 00:17:42.400
Oh, I bought two shares in a catastrophe.
380
00:17:44.119 --> 00:17:46.700
Two shares in a catastrophe. I don't know what you mean, Andy.
381
00:17:46.740 --> 00:17:47.079
What happened?
382
00:17:47.319 --> 00:17:49.900
Well, the whole thing started when some whale had a
383
00:17:49.940 --> 00:17:51.980
vacuum cleaner and went through a school Eskimo.
384
00:17:55.009 --> 00:17:57.369
Andy, what in the world is he talking about?
385
00:17:57.410 --> 00:17:59.650
Well, I don't think you'd understand it, Amos. It's all
386
00:17:59.710 --> 00:18:03.220
high finance. You see, I wouldn't have lost a dime
387
00:18:03.319 --> 00:18:05.480
if Mother Nature hadn't gone up to Alaska and done
388
00:18:05.500 --> 00:18:06.220
the can-can.
389
00:18:06.259 --> 00:18:10.599
You know, Andy, it sounds to me like the kingfish
390
00:18:10.619 --> 00:18:12.160
has been chiseling in this thing somewhere.
391
00:18:12.539 --> 00:18:15.109
Well, the kingfish sold me the stock, but he told
392
00:18:15.140 --> 00:18:16.430
me his conscience is clear.
393
00:18:16.650 --> 00:18:19.589
Now, look, Andy, knowing the kingfish's conscience or no conscience,
394
00:18:19.930 --> 00:18:22.269
this is just another scheme of his. Now, if I
395
00:18:22.309 --> 00:18:25.059
was you, I'd do the smart thing this time. I'd
396
00:18:25.079 --> 00:18:27.220
get myself a good lawyer and sue him and get
397
00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:27.880
your money back.
398
00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:31.359
Yeah, that's just what I'm going to do. I might
399
00:18:31.420 --> 00:18:33.359
even get two lawyers and sue his conscience, too.
400
00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:34.519
Yeah, do that.
401
00:18:48.829 --> 00:18:51.190
Well, it seems like Andy is going to have some
402
00:18:51.230 --> 00:18:53.220
trouble getting his money back from the kingfish.
403
00:18:54.119 --> 00:18:54.380
You know.
404
00:18:55.140 --> 00:18:58.480
More women use Rinse-O than any other wash day soap
405
00:18:58.519 --> 00:19:01.380
in the world. A letter I got the other day
406
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:04.980
emphasized that fact so vividly that I thought I'd like
407
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.390
to read it to you. Dear John Lake, it says,
408
00:19:08.029 --> 00:19:11.150
I'm an Australian war bride. When I arrived here, I
409
00:19:11.210 --> 00:19:14.029
tried all the wash day soaps to find the one
410
00:19:14.069 --> 00:19:17.410
that would bring my wash the whitest. I used Rinse-O
411
00:19:17.470 --> 00:19:21.000
in Australia. Well, after trying all the wash day products
412
00:19:21.039 --> 00:19:24.839
here in America, I'm convinced it's still Rinse-O for me
413
00:19:25.809 --> 00:19:28.069
I think if I traveled the world, I couldn't find
414
00:19:28.130 --> 00:19:34.970
a better soap than Rinseau. Yours truly, Mrs. Rosalind Neuschwander, Albany, Oregon. Well,
415
00:19:35.190 --> 00:19:36.250
thank you for writing, Mrs.
416
00:19:36.309 --> 00:19:36.869
Neuschwander.
417
00:19:37.269 --> 00:19:40.609
That's a mighty nice letter. And you certainly can't do
418
00:19:40.690 --> 00:19:44.069
better than Rinseau. Rinseau is safe for clothes and so
419
00:19:44.130 --> 00:19:48.269
kind to hands. So use Rinseau every wash day and
420
00:19:48.369 --> 00:19:52.329
see how Rinseau with solely puts sunshine in your wash.
421
00:19:53.269 --> 00:19:55.450
And now, back to Amos and Andy.
422
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:11.019
Say, Stonewall, could I see you? Oh, excuse me. I
423
00:20:11.029 --> 00:20:12.250
didn't know you was on the phone. Go ahead.
424
00:20:12.269 --> 00:20:14.190
I'll be with you in a minute, Kingfish.
425
00:20:14.210 --> 00:20:14.509
Oh, yeah.
426
00:20:15.349 --> 00:20:19.589
Talking to a client here, see. Hello? Yeah, Joe, I
427
00:20:19.630 --> 00:20:22.869
got it. They caught you in the bank taking the
428
00:20:22.890 --> 00:20:24.039
money red-handed, huh?
429
00:20:24.839 --> 00:20:25.099
Yeah.
430
00:20:25.559 -->
00:20:28.460
Well, in my opinion, there's only one thing you can do.
431
00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:34.279
Follow the old Latin principle, nal cantanda ipso facto and
432
00:20:34.339 --> 00:20:35.299
patria empta.
433
00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:37.799
Okay, Joe, yeah. So long.
434
00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:39.980
What does that mean, Stonewall?
435
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:41.119
Get out of town.
436
00:20:48.990 --> 00:20:51.950
Now, listen, like I told you over the phone, I
437
00:20:51.970 --> 00:20:54.970
done sold Andy this Alaskan stock. Now, the stuff ain't
438
00:20:54.990 --> 00:20:57.039
no good, and Andy going to take me to court
439
00:20:57.059 --> 00:20:58.930
and sue me. Now, is you sunk or what I
440
00:20:58.970 --> 00:20:59.259
can do?
441
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:03.160
Well, Andy's sure to win the case. Now, there's only
442
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:06.720
one thing to do. Convince him that you was broke.
443
00:21:07.059 --> 00:21:09.400
And even if he did win the case, he couldn't
444
00:21:09.460 --> 00:21:12.279
collect a nickel from you. You know, tell him that
445
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:16.470
you was a pauper or something. Yeah, poor boy. Say,
446
00:21:16.490 --> 00:21:18.950
there's a good angle there. And that's what I'll do.
447
00:21:19.670 --> 00:21:23.890
You know, Stonewall, you was really a brilliant attorney. Oh, man, yeah.
448
00:21:27.579 --> 00:21:31.930
Well, look at the time. Hand me my portfolio there. Say,
449
00:21:31.940 --> 00:21:33.559
I got to get out here and get down to court.
450
00:21:33.859 --> 00:21:36.099
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, you got a big case in court, Stonewall?
451
00:21:36.259 --> 00:21:39.150
Yeah, you see, a client of mine is in trouble
452
00:21:39.250 --> 00:21:40.950
on the county's automobile.
453
00:21:40.970 --> 00:21:41.190
Mm-hmm.
454
00:21:41.410 --> 00:21:41.970
Here's what happened.
455
00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:45.380
His mother-in-law lived with him, and she ride with him
456
00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:48.589
a lot in his automobile, and him and her has
457
00:21:48.609 --> 00:21:50.950
been arguing for months about driving.
458
00:21:50.970 --> 00:21:51.569
Uh-huh.
459
00:21:52.029 --> 00:21:55.029
And it come to a climax yesterday when he was
460
00:21:55.109 --> 00:21:57.950
backing his car into the garage, see, and he got
461
00:21:58.029 --> 00:22:00.039
fed up and put her behind the wheel.
462
00:22:00.980 --> 00:22:03.339
Well, how could he get in trouble for putting his
463
00:22:03.380 --> 00:22:04.460
mother-in-law behind the wheel?
464
00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:19.309
It was the left rear one. Oh! Well, come in,
465
00:22:19.329 --> 00:22:19.769
Brother Ender.
466
00:22:20.150 --> 00:22:22.769
Hey, Kingfish, I just dropped in to tell you that
467
00:22:22.809 --> 00:22:24.910
I am starting to sue against you tomorrow. I'm going
468
00:22:24.930 --> 00:22:26.680
to sue you to get back that $ 150.
469
00:22:26.619 --> 00:22:29.799
Well, Brother Ender, that is your privilege. It's just
too
470
00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:31.839
bad that you were suing me when my finances was
471
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:34.119
null and void. What do you mean, null and void?
472
00:22:34.539 --> 00:22:35.599
Well, Ender, I just come.
473
00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:37.349
Back from the city hall where I took the oath,
474
00:22:38.089 --> 00:22:43.170
which makes me a certified public pauper. And I was
475
00:22:43.190 --> 00:22:45.329
getting the constitutional right to welch on.
476
00:22:45.309 --> 00:22:45.990
All my just debts.
477
00:22:47.170 --> 00:22:48.769
Well, I ain't never heard nothing like this.
478
00:22:48.990 --> 00:22:50.289
Oh, certainly. At the end of the day, I took
479
00:22:50.369 --> 00:22:51.509
out my first pauper papers.
480
00:22:52.369 --> 00:22:53.730
I read them to you here. I say here to
481
00:22:53.769 --> 00:22:56.650
whom it may concern. This is the certified at the
482
00:22:56.690 --> 00:22:58.519
Barrow here, and they have to know it is up
483
00:22:58.559 --> 00:23:03.519
the Creek Stevens. It is a genuine dyed-in-the-wool.
484
00:23:02.740 --> 00:23:04.480
Pauper, and he ain't got a button.
485
00:23:05.900 --> 00:23:08.380
This certificate entitles him to stand in any bread line
486
00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:11.210
in greater New York. This courtesy is also extended to
487
00:23:11.250 --> 00:23:13.609
his wife, also guests, except weekends and holidays.
488
00:23:14.849 --> 00:23:17.769
Signed, Sam Johnson of the State Highway Commission.
489
00:23:18.150 --> 00:23:20.369
Well, what does the Highway Commission have got to.
490
00:23:20.329 --> 00:23:20.869
Do with it now?
491
00:23:21.069 --> 00:23:22.890
He got charged with a road to the poorhouse, Andy.
492
00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:28.940
King Francis, you're telling me that all you've got to
493
00:23:28.980 --> 00:23:30.900
do is take the oath and they give you these papers?
494
00:23:31.180 --> 00:23:33.680
Yeah, well, of course. I had to pay a license
495
00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:35.839
fee and a registration fee and a lot of other fees.
496
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:38.019
Well, I tell you, Andy, if you ain't a pauper,
497
00:23:38.039 --> 00:23:39.740
when you goes down there to register, by the time
498
00:23:39.779 --> 00:23:41.599
you was a pauper, you was all popped out, I'll
499
00:23:41.619 --> 00:23:45.619
tell you that. Kingfish, you mean to tell me that
500
00:23:45.779 --> 00:23:46.920
all this is legal?
501
00:23:47.019 --> 00:23:47.900
Sure it is, Andy.
502
00:23:47.940 --> 00:23:50.329
Tomorrow I'll give them a government pauper's badge with the
503
00:23:50.390 --> 00:23:51.480
official insignia on it.
504
00:23:51.950 --> 00:23:54.490
The American Eagle with one claw stretched out.
505
00:23:54.430 --> 00:23:55.039
For a handout, you see.
506
00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:59.720
You mean if I tries to get my 150 bucks
507
00:23:59.779 --> 00:24:01.279
back under the law, you ain't got to give it
508
00:24:01.299 --> 00:24:01.480
to me?
509
00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:04.539
Yeah, then us paupers is protected from all angles.
510
00:24:04.579 --> 00:24:07.440
Well, for instance, when we passes on, we don't even
511
00:24:07.460 --> 00:24:09.940
have to fork out nothing then. We is entitled to
512
00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:11.480
free space and pottery field.
513
00:24:13.009 --> 00:24:13.180
Yeah.
514
00:24:13.220 --> 00:24:16.029
Well, that's nice of them. Yeah, of course. We don't
515
00:24:16.549 --> 00:24:19.650
get in with no classy crowd there. They just throws
516
00:24:19.710 --> 00:24:21.039
us in with the whore polluted, uh.
517
00:24:22.599 --> 00:24:25.900
You don't get no personal headstone with your name on it, neither. No, no.
518
00:24:25.980 --> 00:24:29.279
They just write on the gate, rest in peace, you all.
519
00:24:29.319 --> 00:24:29.640
Yeah, well.
520
00:24:40.349 --> 00:24:41.230
I don't know.
521
00:24:41.430 --> 00:24:43.990
I guess the law is the law, and there ain't
522
00:24:44.039 --> 00:24:45.200
no point in suing you then.
523
00:24:45.740 --> 00:24:47.349
Boy, I really gets the breaks, don't I?
524
00:24:47.339 --> 00:24:50.460
Yeah, tough luck, Anna. But I'd like to have you
525
00:24:50.480 --> 00:24:52.019
be my guest in the bread line sometime.
526
00:24:52.279 --> 00:24:54.700
Yeah, well, thank you a lot. So long, Kingfish.
527
00:24:56.539 --> 00:25:03.329
Boy, I was a happy man. That pauper stuff really worked. Oh, George. George.
528
00:25:03.619 --> 00:25:04.400
Uh-oh.
529
00:25:05.750 --> 00:25:07.450
George, that wasn't a nice thing to do.
530
00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:10.319
Well, now, wait a minute. I can explain everything.
531
00:25:10.660 --> 00:25:12.519
But you've broken your promise, haven't you?
532
00:25:13.789 --> 00:25:16.650
Well, I tell you, conscience, I ain't never going to
533
00:25:16.670 --> 00:25:19.589
do nothing like that again. That is my last time.
534
00:25:19.750 --> 00:25:21.210
That's no excuse, George.
535
00:25:21.269 --> 00:25:23.369
Yeah, well, you see, I was just kind of tapering off.
536
00:25:23.410 --> 00:25:25.150
You know how it is.
537
00:25:25.589 --> 00:25:28.329
George, I'm going to keep on bothering you as long
538
00:25:28.390 --> 00:25:29.490
as you try to cheat people.
539
00:25:29.789 --> 00:25:32.630
Yeah, well, now, don't bother me no more, conscience. Please don't.
540
00:25:32.890 --> 00:25:35.160
Well, I won't if you'll just give the money back
541
00:25:35.220 --> 00:25:35.539
to Andy.
542
00:25:36.190 --> 00:25:38.009
Okay, conscience, I'll do it.
543
00:25:38.670 --> 00:25:39.210
I'll do it.
544
00:25:39.230 --> 00:25:49.990
So, Andy, like I was telling you, that purple stuff
545
00:25:50.009 --> 00:25:53.289
that I pulled on you, well, Andy, old pal, I
546
00:25:53.329 --> 00:25:55.119
made that up. And I'm going to give you my
547
00:25:55.170 --> 00:25:56.880
check for the money you paid me for the stock.
548
00:25:57.220 --> 00:26:01.059
Here's my check for $ 150. Oh, thank you, Kingfish, thank you.
549
00:26:01.460 --> 00:26:03.319
You are certainly a changed man, all right.
550
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:05.059
Oh, that's all right, Ender. Forget it, boy.
551
00:26:05.299 --> 00:26:08.779
Oh, well, I really appreciate this, Kingfish. Well, I'll see
552
00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:09.160
you later.
553
00:26:09.480 --> 00:26:10.480
Okay, Ender, so long.
554
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:16.400
Well, now I can sit down and really relax. Yeah,
555
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:20.200
I really feel good now. You just can't go along
556
00:26:20.240 --> 00:26:22.200
and take advantage of people and expect to get away
557
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:25.210
with it. Yeah, your conscience will always bother you.
558
00:26:25.589 --> 00:26:27.630
George, I'm very happy.
559
00:26:27.990 --> 00:26:29.309
You're a changed man.
560
00:26:29.849 --> 00:26:32.349
And I'm going away, and I'll never bother you again.
561
00:26:32.950 --> 00:26:36.130
Oh, that's wonderful, wonderful. Thank you, conscience.
562
00:26:36.539 --> 00:26:39.079
You see, you can't fool your conscience, can you?
563
00:26:39.859 --> 00:26:40.759
Goodbye, George.
564
00:26:41.019 --> 00:26:46.559
Goodbye. Hmm. Little does he know that that check I
565
00:26:46.579 --> 00:26:47.579
give Andy was no good.
566
00:27:02.460 --> 00:27:04.809
Say, Andy, I'll announce that that John Leake is the
567
00:27:04.849 --> 00:27:05.970
most cheerful man.
568
00:27:05.849 --> 00:27:06.410
I ever saw.
569
00:27:06.450 --> 00:27:09.130
Yeah, well, he's got one of the best jobs there is.
570
00:27:09.789 --> 00:27:11.589
All they got to do is tell people about that
571
00:27:11.650 --> 00:27:14.250
wonderful Rinseau, new Rinseau with sodium.
572
00:27:14.569 --> 00:27:17.359
Well, it certainly is a pleasant thing to talk about
573
00:27:18.119 --> 00:27:22.200
and to use. New Rinseau gets white clothes whiter than new,
574
00:27:22.339 --> 00:27:26.019
and washable color is even brighter than new. New Rinseau
575
00:27:26.099 --> 00:27:30.079
with sodium puts sunshine in your wash. More women use
576
00:27:30.140 --> 00:27:33.559
Rinseau than any other wash day soap in the world.
577
00:27:34.259 --> 00:27:37.700
Folks, that's quite a statement, and it's absolutely true. More
578
00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:40.400
women use Rinseau than any other wash day soap in
579
00:27:40.420 --> 00:27:40.799
the world.
580
00:27:41.380 --> 00:27:43.329
And all of us here are mighty proud of that.
581
00:27:44.089 --> 00:27:46.670
So when you go to your grocer, ask for Rinseau,
582
00:27:46.730 --> 00:27:48.529
won't you? Thank you. Good night.
583
00:27:49.569 --> 00:27:51.829
See you next Sunday right after the Jack Benny Show.
584
00:28:05.700 --> 00:28:09.660
Right now, the United States of America is building the largest, best-trained,
585
00:28:09.740 --> 00:28:14.799
and best-technically-educated armed forces in its peacetime history. Today's serviceman
586
00:28:14.859 --> 00:28:18.299
is a skilled professional who works with advanced techniques and
587
00:28:18.359 --> 00:28:22.339
equipment in specialized fields. Men who are eligible are urged
588
00:28:22.380 --> 00:28:25.539
to volunteer for training in the Army, Navy, Air Force,
589
00:28:25.859 --> 00:28:29.359
Marine Corps, and Coast Guard of the United States Armed Forces.
590
00:28:31.539 --> 00:28:32.980
Be sure to be with us next Sunday at the
591
00:28:33.019 --> 00:28:35.700
same time when Lever Brothers Company, the makers of New
592
00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:39.400
Rinseau with Solium, will again present the Amos and Andy Show.
593
00:28:39.880 --> 00:28:42.279
Until then, good night to all of you from all
594
00:28:42.299 --> 00:28:42.539
of us.
595
00:28:47.380 --> 00:28:48.359
Doctors have proved it.
596
00:28:48.619 --> 00:28:51.970
Lifebuoy health soap with its purifying ingredient gets skin cleaner,
597
00:28:52.049 --> 00:28:55.529
stops B.O. as no other leading soap can. Yes, doctors
598
00:28:55.569 --> 00:28:58.769
compare daily baths with leading soaps, proved you are cleaner,
599
00:28:58.930 --> 00:28:59.970
safer from B.O.
600
00:29:00.309 --> 00:29:02.769
With Lifebuoy. Get Lifebuoy right away.
601
00:29:08.970 --> 00:29:10.609
Be sure and listen to the Amos and Andy show
602
00:29:10.650 --> 00:29:14.180
at this same time next Sunday. Stay tuned in now
603
00:29:14.220 --> 00:29:17.079
for the adventures of Sam Spade, which follows immediately over
604
00:29:17.140 --> 00:29:20.299
many of these stations. This is CBS, where 99 million
605
00:29:20.339 --> 00:29:22.819
people gather every week. The Columbia Broadcasting System.