Full Transcript for Sam Shovel - Caught with His Prints Down

bag, and the air kept blowing up my kilts. 40 00:06:11.170 --> 00:06:15.350 Instead of wearing a wish broom in front of my kilts like the rest of the Scotsman, I had to wear a hot water bottle. 41 00:06:16.770 --> 00:06:18.950 You must have had a very poor childhood, Stella. 42 00:06:19.330 --> 00:06:44.560 I did have it. We were very poor. My mother had to work and she had to take and wash it. She had to scrub off his floor. She worked like a she worked as a blacksmith. She drove an oil truck. And one time for three years, she worked in a daytime as as a waitress and worked at night in a coal mine. Well, what what did your father do? He kept the books. Well, I guess you had a pretty tough time when you were a kid. Yes. I'll never forget the day my mother made my first pair of long pants. 43 00:06:44.860 --> 00:06:47.920 It had 12 buttons down the back and four pockets in the front. 44 00:06:48.380 --> 00:06:50.880 Well, what she make them out of? My father's oldest. 45 00:06:51.585 --> 00:06:55.765 I was the only kid. I was the only kid in school that had a watch bar hanging from my knee. 46 00:07:00.145 --> 00:07:10.220 Were you very popular with the other kids in school, Luke? I was a pitcher on a baseball team. What a pitcher I was. I had a drop ball, a slow ball, a curve ball. Did did you have a screwball? That was before I met you, Evan. Alright. 47 00:07:12.680 --> 00:07:21.995 Yeah. Dummy, you ought to be back in school right now. For your information, Evan, I'm keeping steady company with a red headed school teacher. What does she teach? She has a high school class of men all over 40 years old. 48 00:07:22.615 --> 00:07:27.435 40 year old man. Why don't they go to college? When she gets through teaching them, there's nothing else to learn. 49 00:07:29.255 --> 00:07:35.830 Running around with a school teacher? Why don't you find a nice girl and get married? I'm going to, Abbott, as soon as I get some money. Money. Money. Money. Money. Money. Money. 50 00:07:36.130 --> 00:07:42.550 Gusto, don't worry about money. Do you realize what money is? Money is the root of all evil. Money is an invention of the devil. 51 00:07:42.930 --> 00:07:44.630 Money is filthy lucre. 52 00:07:45.010 --> 00:07:46.950 Money causes misery. Money. 53 00:07:48.050 --> 00:07:49.510 That's what I think of money. 54 00:07:50.345 --> 00:07:53.565 May the Bank of America have mercy on your soul. 55 00:08:02.745 --> 00:08:11.000 Dasteli, you don't need money. What you need is the love of a good woman. Find another girl like my wife, Betty. You mean there's another girl like your wife, Betty? 56 00:08:12.900 --> 00:08:18.360 Castell, I love my wife. My Betty's a real cookie. Your wife is a cookie? That's right. 57 00:08:18.835 --> 00:08:21.495 Abbott, you just said baking back twenty years. 58 00:08:25.474 --> 00:08:33.850 You'd be lucky to get a girl like my wife. My Betty is always straight from the shoulder. What's a girl that's straight from the shoulder? I like the girl that curves. 59 00:08:36.950 --> 00:08:43.095 Well, Uncle Bud, Uncle Bud, something terrible just happened to me. And this is really his uncle Bud, and this is the nephew. 60 00:08:44.055 --> 00:08:45.435 We don't get about it. 61 00:08:45.814 --> 00:08:46.954 He's got the word. 62 00:08:49.334 --> 00:08:50.235 Abbott's nephew. 63 00:08:51.574 --> 00:08:54.954 Pay attention to what he says, folks. This may be his last performance. 64 00:08:57.095 --> 00:08:58.394 What is it, Norman? 65 00:08:58.820 --> 00:09:05.880 Nephew Norman, why are you so excited? Well, bud, when I was coming through the pass in the mountain, a mountain lion jumped right in the car beside me. 66 00:09:07.140 --> 00:09:09.640 Yes. Then what happened? The lion killed me. 67 00:09:15.475 --> 00:09:22.454 Wait a minute, Norman. You're not dead. Stop crying. You're working on the Evan Costello Show. You're still living. You call this living? 68 00:09:27.555 --> 00:09:29.894 Really, though, Cecilia? There goes a brilliant boy. 69 00:09:30.810 --> 00:09:33.390 His brain is on a slow boat to the Mayo brothers. 70 00:09:34.570 --> 00:09:47.105 Now you lay out, Norman. He's a very intelligent boy. He's always studying reading. Wouldn't hurt you to do a little reading once in a while. Oh, yeah. But I do plenty of reading. When I was seven years old, I started my first book, Little Red Riding Hood. I rented it from the library. 71 00:09:47.485 --> 00:09:54.865 The last time I'll ever rent a book from the library. Well, didn't you, like Little Red Riding Hood? Abbot, up to now, I owe that library $2,800. 72 00:09:55.325 --> 00:09:58.320 And Little Red Riding Hood has yet to meet the wolf. 73 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:11.140 Little Red Riding Hood. Why don't you read some of the newer books? I just bought Gypsy Rose Lee's new book. It's a story of her life. Well, what does, Gypsy Rose Lee call our new book? The Lake and I. 74 00:10:12.640 --> 00:10:30.610 Why don't you read something educational? I am, Adam. I just bought a book on inventions. It tells all about new gadgets. I bought one yesterday for my aunt May. What kind of a gadget did you buy for your aunt May? It's a new girl. It's made from surplus paratrooper's harness, and it's a handy little thing. At night, she doesn't have to undress. Doesn't? No. She just jumps off the top of the dresser and pulls a ripcord. 75 00:10:32.750 --> 00:10:33.650 That's ridiculous. 76 00:10:34.430 --> 00:10:47.745 But, hey, I understand you're working on some kind of a silly invention yourself. And my invention is all finished too, Abbott. It's a new kind of perfume, and all the girls in Hollywood are gonna go crazy about it. All the girls in Hollywood are going crazy about your perfume. Why? Smells like money. 77 00:10:51.325 --> 00:11:05.529 I gave a bottle of it to my aunt May. Boy, did it make her popular. Mhmm. You're right. May was never popular. Is that so? Back in Paterson, New Jersey, she was so popular every guy in town

used to drink champagne out of her slipper. And what did it get her? She's got the only big toe in the world that belongs to Alcoholics Anonymous. 78 00:11:14.964 --> 00:11:22.650 Mister, what's going on here? It's this darn kid of mine. He won't eat a spinach. Junior, you've gotta eat the spinach. Why ain't you gonna do it? I don't like 79 00:11:28.730 --> 00:11:39.805 spinach. When you eat your spinach on Saturday, I'll make you go to the Abbott and cotchtelos pick you Mexican hayride. No. No. You can't do that to me. I'll eat my spinach, until my boss can't do that. 80 00:11:45.145 --> 00:11:50.640 Yeah. But I'd I'd like to take that kid over to San Anita Center. What for? I wanna drop him in a claiming race. 81 00:11:52.400 --> 00:12:09.625 Oh, hello, boy. Hey. Look, Costello. It's Viola. Uh-huh, Viola. You look very lovely tonight. Viola, I understand that you and Costello had a date last night. Where'd you go? Well, Costello had a terrible time making up his mind where to take Well, you see, I was trying to make up my mind between Ciro's and the Macombo. 82 00:12:10.404 --> 00:12:12.285 But we finally went where? 83 00:12:12.725 --> 00:12:15.705 To a hamburger stand between Ciro's and the Macombo. 84 00:12:17.765 --> 00:12:23.040 Well, don't you worry. If you'll after we're married, things will be different. We'll have lots of little ones, and they'll all look like me. 85 00:12:23.660 --> 00:12:25.920 Gee. I'd always planned on having children. 86 00:12:30.540 --> 00:12:33.840 I'd planned on having a few laughs here. Are you sure you're reading the same script? 87 00:12:36.545 --> 00:12:43.605 Lou, you shouldn't be jealous of me. I I don't wanna be a comedian. I don't wanna make people laugh. Okay. Then you read my lines. 88 00:12:45.985 --> 00:12:55.150 Castello, you can't be funny without me. You need me. Why where would Edgar Morgan be without Shelley McCaughey? Where would Amos be without Andy? That's true. Certainly. 89 00:12:55.529 --> 00:12:57.230 One thing goes with the another, 90 00:12:57.610 --> 00:13:02.685 like Dorothy Lamour. Where would she be with her without her sarong? I don't know, but I sure would like to be there. 91 00:13:06.345 --> 00:13:10.365 Costello, I I think you're girl crazy. I'm not the girl for you. 92 00:13:10.745 --> 00:13:19.520 Yoli, you can't leave me. What would I do without you? Uh-huh. Don't worry about that. I'll pick you up with a girlfriend of mine. Oh, you'll be just crazy about this girl. 93 00:13:20.140 --> 00:13:24.640 When she meets you, she'll rush over and she'll throw her arms around you like this, 94 00:13:25.420 --> 00:13:28.694 and she'll squeeze you like this. Yes. 95 00:13:29.235 --> 00:13:31.495 And and she'll she'll kiss you like this 96 00:13:31.875 --> 00:13:34.214 and this and this and 97 00:13:36.514 --> 00:13:38.694 this. There. Now what do you think of that? 98 00:13:38.995 --> 00:13:40.680 When am I gonna meet this girl? 99 00:13:48.120 --> 00:13:54.700 Viola, why don't you take pity on Castello and marry him? Then you'll be known as missus Louis g Castello. 100 00:13:55.399 --> 00:13:59.805 G? Oh, what does the g stand for, Costello? Don't you tell her, Evelyn. 101 00:14:00.665 --> 00:14:10.045 Come on now. What does it stand for? George? No. I don't wanna tell you. Oh, come on, Costello. What does the g stand for? Oh, do I have to tell you? Yes. 102 00:14:11.189 --> 00:14:12.250 Stands for Gloria. 103 00:14:17.269 --> 00:14:17.769 Gloria? 104 00:14:18.149 --> 00:14:21.850 Yes. My mother always wanted a girl, and my father didn't have the heart to tell her. 105 00:14:24.550 --> 00:14:36.545 Layla, why don't you pick it, Kazdel, and come to the movies tonight and see our latest picture, Mexican Hayride. Oh, thanks, bud. But I I saw the picture already. Oh, you did? Tell me. How did you like my acting? Well, it was, 106 00:14:38.845 --> 00:14:39.745 I I see. 107 00:14:41.030 --> 00:14:46.570 Well well, let me put it this way. You know how Van Johnson has that dramatic touch? Oh, yes. 108 00:14:47.030 --> 00:14:49.850 And how Clark Gable has that forceful personality? 109 00:14:50.470 --> 00:14:53.210 Yes. And how Gregory Peck gives that little artistic 110 00:14:53.590 --> 00:14:54.410 extra something? 111 00:14:54.815 --> 00:14:57.635 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But but but what about me? 112 00:14:58.015 --> 00:14:59.714 Costello, can you drive a taxicab? 113 00:15:00.975 --> 00:15:01.475 Oh, 114 00:15:03.295 --> 00:15:16.640 no. Hey, Costello. Come here. How did you get your clothes so dirty? Just just look at your coat. It's torn and your shirt is ripped and, Eddie, my full evidence. Right. I was out on one of my Sam's trouble detective cases last night. I investigated a robbery at the fraternity house in UCLA, 115 00:15:17.180 --> 00:15:18.080 but I miscalculated. 116 00:15:18.780 --> 00:15:20.400 Got into one of the girls' dormitories. 117 00:15:20.975 --> 00:15:23.475 How did you manage to do that? By careful miscalculation. 118 00:15:26.415 --> 00:15:42.930 Pascal, instead of running around nights on those silly Sam shovel cases, you should stay home. Well, I do stay home a lot of it. It. Every night last week, I stayed home. I cleaned the house. I got a terrible servo problem. I find it very difficult to hold of me. Now what makes it so difficult for you to hold of me? My mother keeps walking in the room. 119 00:15:44.589 --> 00:16:01.060 Never mind that. I understand I understand you took your brother Pat to the movies last night. Yes. But I ain't taking him back to the movies no more. He acts very strange. The minute we got into the movie, Pat put his hat under the seat. Well, what's strange about that? Once the men put their, their hat under the seat? While their head is still in it? 120 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:03.300 Oh, nonsense. 121 00:16:03.680 --> 00:16:12.339 Hey. Wait a minute. Come here. What is that big manuscript you're carrying under your arm? Well, I didn't wanna tell you, but

it's a book that I wrote. A book you wrote? It's the first chapter. 122 00:16:12.815 --> 00:16:28.460 The hero is threatened by a mad doctor who tries to remove his head. The second chapter, he meets a demented butcher who tries to put him in a meat grinder. Then it ends where three maniacs tied him to a tree and a squad in a wild woodpeckers peck holes in them. But nobody wants to publish it. Why not? I guess people are sick of them mushy love stories. 123 00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:42.235 What did you say, I'm shoveled a detective story about tonight? Well, tonight, I do one of my most famous cases. I call it the case of the photographer who was stuck up in a dark room or he was caught with his prints down. 124 00:16:45.175 --> 00:16:47.275 Well, sounds terrible, but let's do it. 125 00:16:54.535 --> 00:16:55.275 And now 126 00:16:55.640 --> 00:17:01.980 the makers of Bebop Bubble Bath present the adventures of Sam Shuttle Private Detective. But first, 127 00:17:02.440 --> 00:17:05.100 a word about our product, Bebop Bubble Bath. 128 00:17:05.400 --> 00:17:07.820 Friend, would you like bubbles in your bathtub? 129 00:17:08.644 --> 00:17:12.264 You would? Well, why not call up Bubbles and see if she needs a bath? 130 00:17:16.164 --> 00:17:25.570 Ladies, try Bebop Bubble Bath. We don't ask you to buy the large size, mind you. Just try a trial size package. That contains a seven year supply. 131 00:17:26.590 --> 00:17:33.010 You'll find that if you use Bebop Bubble Bath every day for seven years, you'll have skin just like a baby, 132 00:17:33.630 --> 00:17:34.690 a baby alligator. 133 00:17:36.205 --> 00:17:41.105 Listen to what people all over the country are saying about Bebop Bubble Bath in Kansas. 134 00:17:41.485 --> 00:17:49.825 Give me Bebop Bubble Bath. In New Jersey. Give me Bebop Bubble Bath. In Oregon. Give me Bebop Bubble Bath. In Virginia. 135 00:17:50.269 --> 00:17:52.210 Give me liberty or give me justice. 136 00:17:56.269 --> 00:17:58.529 That Patrick Henry never gives up. 137 00:17:59.230 --> 00:18:04.690 And now the makers of Bebop Bubble Bath bring you your favorite thriller mystery. Here he is, 138 00:18:05.105 --> 00:18:05.765 Sam Shovel, 139 00:18:06.225 --> 00:18:07.445 private detective. 140 00:18:14.305 --> 00:18:14.805 Yes. 141 00:18:15.425 --> 00:18:16.645 I'm Sam Shovel. 142 00:18:17.269 --> 00:18:18.809 Sam Shovel, private detective. 143 00:18:20.070 --> 00:18:22.330 The detective business has been running slow lately. 144 00:18:22.870 --> 00:18:26.809 Last night, having nothing to do, I went to a big public library and buried my nose in my book. 145 00:18:27.190 --> 00:18:29.205 Morning, I had a heck of a job finding it. 146 00:18:29.845 --> 00:18:31.865 I forgot what book I buried it in. 147 00:18:36.565 --> 00:18:42.184 Here comes my secretary now. Did you call me, mister Shuffle? Don't be silly. Why should I call you mister Shuffle? 148 00:18:44.690 --> 00:18:48.950 My name is mister Shevel. By the way, miss Jones, did you find a file on a crook, Joe Kirk? 149 00:18:49.250 --> 00:18:52.470 What's his name? Who? Joe Kirk. Never heard of him. 150 00:18:54.049 --> 00:19:02.595 Miss Jones, you and I have got to work late in the office tonight. Are you prepared? Oh, yes. I brought my brass knuckles, my fencing mask, and a baseball bat. 151 00:19:04.015 --> 00:19:04.995 Clever girl. 152 00:19:05.935 --> 00:19:06.835 She's so stylish. 153 00:19:07.375 --> 00:19:10.355 She was voted one of the ten ten best dressed women in Azusa. 154 00:19:11.610 --> 00:19:14.910 That's not so remarkable when you consider there's only nine other women in Azusa. 155 00:19:20.090 --> 00:19:22.590 Suddenly, the interoffice communication system buzzes. 156 00:19:24.090 --> 00:19:31.855 It's my secretary. She speaks. Mister Shevel, there are two men here to see you about a case. Mister Cohen and chief Lightfoot running, dear. 157 00:19:32.555 --> 00:19:34.095 I'll see the Indian first. 158 00:19:35.355 --> 00:19:37.055 Please go in town, mister Cohen. 159 00:19:40.669 --> 00:19:43.330 The cops have certainly got their hands full these days, 160 00:19:43.870 --> 00:19:45.570 full of fives, tens, twenties. 161 00:19:47.390 --> 00:19:52.210 I think of my pal, Lieutenant Abbott of the homicide squad. Abbott has been on the police force for twenty years. 162 00:19:52.510 --> 00:19:54.770 He knows which side his bread is buttered on. 163 00:19:55.115 --> 00:19:57.775 He could take any piece of bread and say this side is buttered. 164 00:20:01.995 --> 00:20:02.495 Sam, 165 00:20:03.035 --> 00:20:09.055 I'm on the trail of Zeke, hillbilly moonshiner, burglar. Lieutenant Abbott, I'll be glad to help you. What do you want? Hello? 166 00:20:09.360 --> 00:20:16.740 You've seen Zeke? Give me a thumbnail description of him. Well, he uses liquid polish, and his tunic was pushed way back. 167 00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:20.580 Ma'am, I want you to go with me to the Ozarks. 168 00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:22.340 I've gotta capture Zeke. 169 00:20:22.654 --> 00:20:30.115 It'll be a dangerous trip. Those hillbillies are strange people. They're always arguing, shooting, and farming. Yep. Shooting, fighting, and fertilizing. 170 00:20:31.855 --> 00:20:33.715 Come on, Sam. We're heading for the hill. 171 00:20:41.160 --> 00:20:44.460 Lieutenant Abbott and I arrived in the hillbilly country. Sam, 172 00:20:44.760 --> 00:20:48.780 these hillbillies are strange people, but you have to admit they're solid citizen. 173 00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:51.180 They've got both feet on the ground. 174 00:20:51.755 --> 00:20:55.055 They've got to have both feet on the ground. They don't wear shoes. 175 00:20:57.755 --> 00:21:04.655 I read in the papers for a 75 year old Hillbill. He wanted to marry a girl, nine years old. Did he marry her? Nope. His parents objected. 176 00:21:06.320 --> 00:21:09.220 They didn't want him marrying a girl who'd been divorced three times. 177 00:21:10.960 --> 00:21:13.780 Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, Sam. Here comes a bunch of hillbillies. 178 00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:20.740 Let's let's ask let's ask if they know where Zeke is. Howdy, strangers. I'm Jim Hartfield. He's here my son. 179 00:21:21.065 --> 00:21:26.125 I'm Sam Schevel, the detective, and this is lieutenant Abbott. Boy, say hello to the strangers. Them? 180 00:21:26.585 --> 00:21:27.085 No. 181 00:21:29.305 --> 00:21:29.805 Clem? 182 00:21:32.184 --> 00:21:32.684 Bert? 183 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:34.980 Sir? 184 00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:37.540 Bert went to military school. 185 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:46.180 I I don't like the looks of these guys, Abbott. 186 00:21:46.995 --> 00:21:53.655 Anyone who's got an ear of corn and two pumpkins. So what? They're farmers, and farmers have corn and pumpkins. Rolling out of their heads. 187 00:21:54.995 --> 00:21:57.735 Well, gotta go now. We're working on a farm. 188 00:21:58.035 --> 00:22:02.260 Two weeks ago, we dug a hole. Last week, we dropped the seed in it. Today, 189 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:04.100 we're gonna cover it 190 00:22:05.760 --> 00:22:06.260 up. 191 00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:13.780 Do you always work that hard? Yeah. Except when the weather gets bad, then it slows us up a little. 192 00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:15.620 So long. 193 00:22:16.485 --> 00:22:18.265 On. Boy, is that guy a little? 194 00:22:19.045 --> 00:22:22.585 If he was a chicken, eggs and television sets would be the same price. 195 00:22:24.965 --> 00:22:27.705 Never mind him, Sam. We've gotta find Zeke, the moonshiner. 196 00:22:28.245 --> 00:22:30.345 Hey. Look over there behind those bushes. 197 00:22:30.870 --> 00:22:34.570 There's Zeke's. There's Zeke. The moonshiner's still come on. 198 00:22:40.310 --> 00:22:50.125 Hey. Look. Look. There's Zeke. He's making corn liquor. He's jumping up and down on the corn, crushing it. Hold on there, Zeke. You got your card. You're under arrest. 199 00:22:50.664 --> 00:22:53.644 Stop mashing that corn with your feet. What are you doing? 200 00:22:54.105 --> 00:23:00.740 I'm making some 90 fruit corn liquor. And tomorrow I'm gonna make something that's a hundred fruit. How do you do that? 201 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:02.900 With that, I take off my shoes. 202 00:23:05.600 --> 00:23:11.940 See, how do you make that corn liquor? Well, first, I mash up the corn, then I dump in a gallon of turpentine, 203 00:23:13.095 --> 00:23:14.395 then a gallon of Clorox, 204 00:23:15.095 --> 00:23:16.795 two quarts of juniper juice. 205 00:23:18.054 --> 00:23:20.475 Don't you put no alcohol in it? Why? 206 00:23:20.934 --> 00:23:21.995 Ruin the taste? 207 00:23:26.295 --> 00:23:30.690 Jake, we're taking you to jail. Sam, grab some of that moonshine for evidence. 208 00:23:31.070 --> 00:23:35.970 You better taste it to make sure we got the right stuff. Lieutenant Abbott, you know I never touched this stuff? 209 00:23:36.750 --> 00:23:39.890 You're a brave detective, m. Sam Shevaty. 210 00:23:40.855 --> 00:23:48.235 Guard your coward. Taste it. That stuff will grow hair on your chest. He's only kidding, Sam. Go ahead and taste it. Okay.